Lehiyot Ita (2013–2021): Season 2, Episode 1 - Dad Is Coming - full transcript
Viking...
Viking...
Viking...
There he is!
Why?! Why, huh?
- Stop with the singing...
- Ouch, ouch!
- Daddy, Amos is hitting me.
- Guch?
- Well?
- Well what?
Well, what? We are outside your Hamam
and you are not here. Aren't you coming?
- Come out.
- What do you mean? It's tomorrow.
No, and if you'd checked your schedule,
you'd know Noa is giving her speech,
the one she's been working on for months,
in twenty minutes. Come out.
Are you sure it's not tomorrow?
Shit, you are right,
it is tomorrow.
- Really?
- What do you think? Come out, already!
Well, Dad, I have to go,
I screwed up.
Why now? Where are you going?
- And who will scatter the pitas, Meirav?
- Hell, no.
Here.
We'll toss this on our way
and get over there.
Over her dead body.
Limor, he is not putting that in the car.
Limor, can you help me with the door?
Thanks.
Now, listen carefully, you bacteria.
If we're late, I want you
to fire yourself.
And I do not want to see you again,
is that clear?
And if you make it on time?
Then tomorrow at nine in the office
with a decaf cappuccino.
Bye, bye. Go.
- Man, look at this.
- Here's the plan.
We'll now go in, listen to the speech,
clap, wipe away a tear,
and then you can go
scatter your carbs.
The crate goes with you,
the car isn't staying.
Guch, there is no way
I'm going in with the pitas.
Amos, what is this? Are you ashamed
of who you are now? Let's go.
- Picture.
- Yes, thank you.
Amos!
Picture! Amos!
Guys, give him some room. Amos.
Amos, come.
OK, help me out here.
Son of a...
If you had told me,
I would have gotten rid of it earlier.
Now I'm stuck with it.
Whats the deal, Zvika?
Happy birthday.
29 years old, not a kid anymore.
But it's in three days.
But in three days, Noa is in Paris.
Happy birthday!
I love your girlfriend.
God knows how much money
she spent here.
Did you see your photo
on all the napkins?
This must have cost
2,000 shekels alone, right?
Dalia, your dad is stuck to the bar.
He's been hitting the Arak hard.
Dad, two more and that's it!
Cheers!
Cheers, baby. I'm counting his drinks.
Relax. He's just excited.
Today he will finally meet Noa.
Where is Noa? Fashionably late?
Darbuka players, quiet, quiet!
Please, come in closer,
friends, come on.
Amos, what's up?
OK, good evening everyone.
All you...
warm people.
Noa Hollander will join us soon.
But first, a few short announcements.
First, I want to remind you all
that "Gangster" is about to be
released in cinemas,
Noa's first Hollywood film.
Highly recommend.
By the way, good news for most of you,
there will be Hebrew subtitles.
And now,
a song for the birthday boy.
No, you're not going to do this
to us, Tzvika.
No, no, no, sweetie,
I will not sing.
Happy birthday to you.
Assaf?
- Happy birthday to you.
- Avi, is he here?
- How should I know?
- Ladies and gentlemen...
- Happy birthday to you.
- Live from Spain...
- Assaf? Wow!
- The star from Barcelona.
My brother!
Assaf Dahari!
Happy birthday to you,
your bank account is blooming,
happy birthday,
dear Amos.
Bro, I love you, bro.
We miss you, Assaf.
Grandpa, you're there, too!
I miss you so much.
And I would kill to be with you right now,
but I can't,
because I was taken captive
by this hot Spanish woman, Blanca!
Ola! Ola, Amosh.
Happy birthday and kisses from Barcelona.
Kiss me, my love.
What a moron.
Mom, don't be alarmed,
but it looks like I'm staying in Spain,
for good.
No! Assafi, return at once!
Come back right now!
- What is this?
- Avi, tell him to come back.
- I did tell him.
- Oh, yeah? Should we?
Don't do it!
- It's a mess here!
- Shut up, Dad!
You know what?
Here I am!
Shit, I told you not to park here,
now my shoe is all muddy.
Dafna, careful with the heels, babe.
My shoes are all muddy.
Hurry up with the present, Pish!
Vanessa, you nailed it.
I cannot believe I'm here.
They have a red carpet here
like in the movies.
There are photographers, too.
Calm down.
This is your time. Stand up, be cool,
It's show time!
No one's taking my picture.
Yes they are
and you're doing great.
Vanessa Maimon plus one.
Plus two.
I am so glad I chose you
out of all my clients.
I am so glad I'm your cousin.
Remind me again, we're here to...?
To take a selfie with Noa Hollander,
which you will send to every website
with the headline:
Noa Hollander also knows
Dafna Donsky is the next big thing.
And also because you are still in love
with your ex.
You're not on the list,
step aside.
Excuse me?
You're not on the list,
step aside.
Of course I am.
The birthday boy's sister invited me.
Check Vanessa with a V,
or Venessush.
Vanessa,
I spent 400 shekels on this dress,
- and we're not even getting in?
- We're getting in, relax.
Move already!
At first it seemed like a done deal.
I'm packing and crying. Crying! Her too!
Can't stop touching each other.
All of a sudden, at the last minute,
she tells me she wants to make Aliyah.
Right, Blanca?
Mama Amania, I want Israel.
How sweet.
Wow, bro, that is moving.
So moving, Amos, really...
Listen carefully,
When you put Amos and Noa into Google
Translate, you get Assaf and Blanca.
We are your Spanish version.
Blanca is definitely the one,
I found her!
She's not Jewish,
what's he talking about?
She's Spanish, Amalia, calm down.
I will not calm down. Their kids
will not be Jewish, do you understand?
My dad will cut us off.
Your dad already cut us off
three drinks ago.
Come on, Van Van, let's go.
They're not letting us in.
This is how Ethiopians feel
in Tel Aviv.
Lady, you wanted to come
to a high- end party, that's the price.
Getting humiliated is part of the deal.
And you, stop talking!
I'm trying to brand myself
and you're calling me Van Van?
Memorize it, in front of my clients,
my name is--
Vanessa.
- Tzvika!
- Granot, a pleasure.
Are you her new guy?
My condolences.
A somewhat pale version
of the old guy, no?
And no, you are not getting in.
I was personally invited by Meirav.
Even if you were personally invited
by the Peres Center for Peace,
you wouldn't have gotten in.
Noa doesn't want you in there.
Is Noa controlling Amos' life?
Yes, and after you slept with her ex
and ran to post about it on Facebook,
you are officially
persona non grata.
Tell me, pumpkin,
what does it say about you,
that you're dating someone
who's still crazy about her ex?
I am not crazy about him at all,
I came here strictly
as a good friend and an agent.
Oh, right.
I read in the Hollywood Reporter
that after I kicked you out,
you started an agency in Bat Yam,
out of your mom's kitchen.
- How's it going?
- Amazing.
I see.
A little tip from one agent to another,
go home, Van Van.
Because your heart is about to get broken.
- It was nice to meet you.
- Not really.
We had your last birthday at "Dove Kebab"
and came home stinking of chicken steak.
Look at you now,
celebrating your birthday like a sheikh.
Honestly, bro,
did money change you?
You are such a moron.
You left your brain at customs, huh?
Why isn't Blanca loaded. Why?
Wow! What is this?
Attention, ladies and gentlemen,
it is time for your presents, Amos.
But where is Noa?
An expensive car just arrived...
guess where Noa is.
Oh, no, it's not a car,
it's a fucking 4C, damn it!
Gather round folks,
come closer, friends.
Here is present number one,
Alpha Romeo 4C,
accelerates to 100 KPH
in 4.5 seconds and...
Mr. Dahari...
it is about time you stopped driving
your parents junker.
- Happy birthday.
- Hot damn!
Wait, wait!
And for the cherry on top,
open please.
- Who is this? Where is Noa?
- Open it.
Wow!
Where is she?
Amos.
You must hate me for doing all this,
but I had to tell you a few things
in front of the people who love you.
I am crazy about you.
And you don't deserve it,
because you do not cook for me enough,
you hate going out with my friends,
you love hiding from me behind walls
and giving me a scare
and you stopped rubbing
my feet before bedtime.
Come here,
I will rub you one finger at a time.
But I am in love with you
like I've never been before,
with anyone.
And I know we have a "nothing embarrassing
in front of family" rule,
but here I am,
laying it all out,
and asking you in front of everyone,
Amos Dahari,
you stud,
will you marry me?
I'll be in the car.
Where is he going?
Vanessa, am I not going in?
Quiet, quiet,
let him answer already, quiet!
Quiet! Let him answer!
Are you serious right now?
And what is this for?
Assaf, congrats!
There, it's just me.
Do you want to?
Well, answer!
Answer!
I am shocked! I am just shocked!
I am shocked we're not inside,
I don't get it!
Vanessa!
You are the worst agent ever!
You're taking me home then we're done!
Except a few things,
what did I get?
What did I get?
Tomorrow I'm switching
to Eliyanah Tidhars agency, got it?
They'll represent me,
not you!
The nerve!
I don't even know what I'm doing here.
Unbelievable. This is too much!
Too much!
No, really, I cannot believe this.
I came here for you...
My daughter–in–law.
I ALWAYS KNEW YOU'D GET MARRIED.
Some lucky people
win millions in the lottery
and some
marry into it.
Everyone who thought this
wouldn't work out, myself included,
are eating their words today.
So let's try calling to
say congratulations, live,
to the Cinderella from Bat Yam,
Amos Dahari. We're dialing.
Shit!
Amos, hello? Amos Dahari?
Amos, it's "Mickeys Night",
we just wan--
- No comment.
- No comment. OK, we'll try--
You flooded the web today
with chatter about the royal couple,
but it's still unclear if Father Gideon
will be attending the wedding
or what he thinks about the fact
that the heir to his millions
is marrying a debt-saddled baker.
- Boo!
- Woah!
See? I can do it too.
You scared me, stupid.
This stupid is about
to be your wife, buddy.
You had to, huh?
Do it like that,
with the people, the cameras,
the dramatic entrance.
Let me get this straight,
you're criticizing my surprise?
Yes.
You couldn't do it like this?
Just you and me alone?
You are seriously criticizing
my surprise?
- Such ingratitude.
- l'm kidding.
Thank you.
For the party, for Assaf,
for this.
You do know that I want one, too?
And I want a flashy one.
- Don't you get cheap with me, Yemenite.
- Done.
Tomorrow I'm going to sell a kidney
and get you a huge diamond.
A huge one,
that will give my finger a hump.
I love you, Noa Dahari.
Noa Hollander Dahari.
Oh, no, we won't be doing that thing
where you add nine surnames, got it?
It's Noa Dahari or nothing.
Want some wine?
Noa Hollander Dahari.
Suck it.
I can see your Bert and Ernie.
Impressive.
Do you know who I am?
Yes, you're Gideon Hollander.
And you're a lucky guy.
Congratulations.
On your birthday, too.
- Thank you.
- Eden.
We got you boxers.
Funny, right?
Ta–da!
You can't exchange them,
they're from the airport.
Gideon, stop, I can't.
We're embarrassing him.
Come on, why are you embarrassed?
I walk around at home completely naked
and I have panoramic windows.
Half of LA sees my business
every morning.
Do you love my daughter?
What?
Am I making you nervous?
Are you cold? What?
No, I... you know.
You are cold.
Hollander Dahari,
are you frozen in place?
What are those ugly boxers?
- Dear God.
- There is no God here, just Dad.
Congratulations.
What are you doing here?
I heard the good news and I came.
Who let you in?
No one, this is my house.
No, this is my house.
Fine.
It's your house.
You've been out of the country for a decade,
and now you barge in here
in the middle of the night?
And with one of your bimbos?
You couldn't call?
This is Eden,
my personal assistant
for the past 18 months.
The best I ever had!
Hard working, Zionist,
and not a bimbo.
And she's also spending
the night here tonight.
Not in my room.
- You are not staying here.
- Noa.
- Go sleep at your hotel by the sea.
- I don't want to.
Why don't you introduce me to the guy
who's about to sign a draconian prenup
and only then,
may he be your husband?
Oh, that's why you're here,
to ruin this for me.
Amos, right?
Listen, the cliché about the rich father
who tries to separate
his beautiful daughter
from the poor guy with the heart of gold,
that's not us.
My daughter can marry
whomever she likes,
OK?
Oh, how moving,
I'm so moved.
Amos, call your parents.
I need them to come
meet this amazing guy.
I would really love
to meet your parents.
I am sure they are lovely.
They are parents.
That already makes them
lovelier than you.
Amos,
put some clothes on.
Take his maid with you, too,
she can wait in the study.
Come on, it's over here.
Tell me.
Why are you so eager to humiliate me
in front of your boyfriend?
- I just got here- -
- Dad, give me a break, OK?
Noa! Don't raise your voice.
You know your voice gives me a migraine
when it's loud.
- How long are you here for?
- I'm headed to Milan tomorrow.
U2 concert,
third row in the middle.
Care to join us?
No.
Or how about a kind word
about your dad's new look?
Check it out.
You lost weight.
Eighteen pounds in two months!
Vegan for two months.
No drinking, no smoking.
You're holding a glass of wine.
A glass of red wine a day is healthy.
You're pathetic.
Amos, I'm sorry
for the incident earlier,
but at least we won't forget
the first time we met.
What is that, your work?
- Yes.
- Wow!
Wow.
Nice, very nice.
- You're good, Amos.
- Thank you.
How are you using your talent?
This is probably worth a few dimes.
Not too much right now,
I'm starting art school this year.
Switch goals and come to LA
as soon as possible.
I'll introduce you to the Koreans,
they will pay a fortune for your work.
In a year
they'll be studying you at art school.
Chi Wai will love this, right?
I'll tell him that you love it.
See? That's how it works.
If I decide that some guy from Bat Yam
is going to be the next Banksy,
then he'll be the next Banksy.
OK, I am dying to sleep.
My dad and her will sleep here.
- Cool.
- My daughter is slowly defrosting.
It started with "bimbo",
moved up to "maid", and now it's "her".
Good night, Amos.
Just Amos, no last name.
A brand.
Goodnight.
- Congratulations.
- Thanks.
OK, calm down.
He's cute,
not the monster you said he was.
I don't care about the wedding.
I just want to be called Grandma Amalia
within the year.
Maybe that's why they're
getting married already?
Maybe she's pregnant?
What do you mean, pregnant?
She's flat as an airstrip.
So flat she barely has a belly button.
So what? Ruslana only started showing
five months in.
Of course you're invited, please!
You are half family, aren't you?
Oh and Eliran, save me
two pounds of tomatoes for tomorrow.
And this time you are taking my money.
I won't take them for free.
By sweetie, say hi to Mom.
"Won't take them for free",
you love free stuff.
But I am playing it polite.
Daharis, you are about
to pass out now.
Grade A meat, personally imported
from Extremadura...
Grandpa!
And the bread was baked in the bakery
using Blanca's grandma's recipe.
- Blanca!
- Yes, my chocolate candy.
Tell my...
dear family what we'll be eating.
Vanessa, listen, I am so sorry.
For the humiliation you made me endure,
I am through with you, Meirav.
Just two weeks ago I was wiping your tears
because you got rejected again.
and this is how you repay me?
I swear to you,
I didn't see any of the...
190 missed calls.
You've switched sides, Meirav.
You ditched me for that frog–eyed creature
who stole your brother from us both.
But you know what? Cool, it's no problem,
because I am erasing both you and Amos,
and your entire family,
all of you, from my memory.
Totally deleted, done!
Vene--
OK?
Now can you sleep here?
But did you really mean
what you said, totally deleted?
No more going to their events?
No more shopping at their supermarket
even though there's one
right under your house?
It's over, right?
Look, Van Van,
their disgusting world,
it's not for you.
You are Vanessa Mimon from Bat Yam,
and that's what I love about you.
Please, Mama Amalia.
Good, good.
Very good, Blanca, very good.
- Right?
- Thank you.
Dad, you don't understand how this trip
messed me up.
Dad, after all the hell I put you through,
I want to be glued to you at the bakery,
be your right hand and help you expand.
"What does 'expand' mean, Assaf?"
ask me.
What does "expand" mean, Assaf?
Blanca and I are starting
a catering company
with baked goods
and Blanca goods, boom!
We'll make millions.
Tell me,
- is this kosher?
- What do you mean kosher? It's pork.
Avi! Take it out of your mouth!
- Dad, you're eating pork!
- It's not pork, it's jamon.
Jamon is pig's leg!
Amalia,
it's allowed once.
Dad, we do not eat pork,
or giraffe, or monkey!
What are we, Thai?
Ah! Stop!
Stop!
Why?
- Because it's fun.
- Stop it, come on!
Man, I hate you and your music.
- You hate me?
- Yes.
I crashed last night,
did you guys talk more?
He's leaving at noon.
I will be nice until then.
I knew you weren't getting along,
but I didn't know it was that bad.
Amos,
you, like, think he's cute, right?
After he gassed you up yesterday
about the paintings?
And how he'll fly you out to LA?
- You kind of like him, right?
- Yes.
Your girlfriends can't stand me.
Tzvika is getting paid to put up with me.
Let me make do with your dad.
There is no way he likes you.
Don't fall for it.
It's all manipulation,
he's a bad person.
He's a liar, a hypocrite,
and manipulative.
- But still, Noa, he's your dad.
- That is not a dad.
My family is not your family.
Why? Think about it, he heard
we were getting married and he came.
He came to meet the man
who is going to marry his money.
His money is all he cares about.
Believe me, and do not believe a word
that comes out of his mouth.
Not even when he says good morning.
Morning.
There's breakfast,
and your scumbag's at the door.
Knock first and you might not
hear all the compliments you've earned.
Good morning.
Vegetable omelette.
From eggs enriched with Omega–3.
She is allergic to coriander,
it gives her a rash on her back,
but why would you know that?
Are you serious?
You left him outside?
He has a really nice office,
which I pay for. He should stay there.
As long as I live in this house,
I do not need him in here, Noa.
You don't live here.
And if Tzvika decides you're not
allowed in, you're not allowed in.
- Now you've killed him.
- That's your dream, right?
Where to, Noa?
Amos,
I take it you don't like him, either?
Eat, at least.
Good morning, Zvikush.
Who is she?
His Tzvika.
Maybe her Min Pin.
My job is to be Noa's Pit Bull.
- How could you not tell me he was coming?
- You think he told me?
What is he doing here
after ten years in exile?
Sucking up to Amos, bothering me.
- Did you also come to bother me?
- No.
On the contrary, I got you
a fantastic interview next week,
with Mickey Ludig- -
Noa, hang on.
He has been begging me for a meeting
for two months. I know you don't want to.
Yes, because I can't stand him.
I respect that.
And I respect
that you are going out with him
even though I hate him, but here we are.
The man's ratings are through the roof.
Now with the film and the wedding,
it only makes sense, right?
OK, fine.
It's a deal. Baby, believe me,
it's the right thing to do, fantastic.
Go together, it's a couples interview.
It will be- -
- Zvik!
- What, what?
- What, what what?
- lt's just me or no one.
And that freeloader should
be thankful.
- Noa.
- Tzvika.
OK.
No problem.
His dog is going into surgery
in three days,
I will be with you in Paris,
he will probably dump me but thats fine.
No problem... I will call and cancel.
Fine, you nag.
Are you sure?
But make me an omelette, regular.
Who loves you?
Who loves you? I'm crazy about you. Crazy.
What? You're not going to ask me?
- I am asking. Here's a question: when?
- When, what?
When can we do
a run-through of the interview,
so you don't screw it up?
Amos, if he's bothering you, tell me,
I'll take his car, too.
Say,
why don't we invite your parents over
for dinner tonight?
Today?
You said you were leaving today.
Yes, but you didn't want to come,
so it killed my mood.
No dinner, what dinner?
- Why not?
- Mom.
- Amos!
- Gideon Hollander is here,
he wants to have you over for dinner.
What?! That stud is in the country?
Avi!
Evening!
Wow, Amos, what is this? What a house.
I could live in the dog house.
Your friend didn't let Vanessa
into the party.
Now she isn't talking to me.
- Hey, how are--
- Ola.
Good evening,
it is so good to see you.
Noa, you look amazing.
You look great, Noa.
Good evening, Amalia.
Oh, I also know your name.
Good evening, Mr. Hollander.
Or may I call you Gideon?
- Gideon.
- Gideon or Gidon?
However you want.
Who is this beauty?
Your daughter?
No, no, no, no.
That's my youngest girl, Meirav.
This is my other son's girlfriend.
Spanish, doesn't know a word of Hebrew.
Hello, Spanish.
- What's your name?
- Blanca, it's a pleasure.
You smell wonderful. What perfume is that?
Shall we go to the veranda?
Look at that.
- Your mom's smelling a stranger. Just like that.
- Eden.
You and my dad are really close, huh?
Very, I'm learning a lot from him.
You know, I've been trying to remember
where I know you from.
- I don't think we've met.
- Yes, we have.
Two years ago,
when I visited him in LA,
you were the assistant's
assistant's assistant.
You weren't even allowed to talk to him,
just serve him coffee and leave.
Look at you now.
Tell me, did I do something to you
to make you speak to me this way?
Go to your room, this is a private dinner.
Your dad invited me.
- Noa, let's--
- Don't call me Noa,
I am not your friend.
You're right, you're not my friend.
You're everything
he said you were.
Gideon, when we first started dating,
Avi would cook for me all the time.
Today, he won't even make me
a toasted sandwich with cottage cheese.
Really, Dad, you used to cook?
We always cook for our women
in the beginning.
- Right, Avi?
- They have a chef and waiters
to slice for fruit salad for them.
Noa and I cooked,
and we will continue to cook, thank you.
How is the wine, Dad? And the meat?
- Vegan?
- l'm allowed it once a week.
Funny, that's what he told my mom
when she found out he was cheating.
Assaf, pass the salt.
Noa, I saw the movie trailer,
it looks great.
Thank you. Will you come to the premiere?
There are a few pre–premieres.
One is in Jerusalem.
Sure, I will take my princess
to the Western Wall.
Hey, could we
do the catering at the premiere?
- Assaf, please.
- What, mom? Those events are a jackpot!
Amos, I see that you're the artist,
and your brother is the businessman.
- You could say that.
- I used to be the artist, but not anymore.
My future wife and I are
taking over the family business,
So you can say
that I am a businessman.
So, how much would you sell me that
painting for, with the blue rabbits?
You know, Eden took pictures
of a few paintings,
we sent them to the Korean, and he loves that one.
He wants it in his office.
- Really?
- Congrats.
Ten thousand.
Shekels?
- But don't forget my commission.
- Chill out.
That painting is not for sale.
Of course not at that price.
Assaf, go higher.
20,000 dollars.
We are not selling it.
Assaf, stop it.
How about we ask your boyfriend?
It's his painting.
What are you trying to do?
Impress the table?
Help your boyfriend build his future,
I'm trying to be nice, you don't like it?
- You're overdoing it.
Ah.
Is it so important to you
that everyone knows how great you are?
- Well then I'll tell them about you.
- Noa.
Don't Noa me.
We're getting married.
You wanted
your parents to know my dad, right?
Are you sure you want to do this?
Absolutely.
Please, go ahead.
Noa, now is not the time.
This dad,
cheated on my mom a million times.
He cheated on us with his clients,
his employees, her friends.
Even while she was dying
of cancer at the hospital,
he cheated on her.
Really.
I caught him in the hospital parking lot.
You remember all the small details.
Amazing.
This dad
left me a day after my mom died.
I was 16.
Because opening hotels in LA
was more important.
Right, Dad?
This dad made sure to remind my mom,
ever since I can remember,
that if it was not for the "accident,"
which is me,
he would never have married her.
That's the truth.
I'm done here.
- Noa.
- Noale.
Why bring up the past?
Everyone's here.
Let's talk about the here and now.
Gideon.
Avi, you know that,
in the 20 hours I have been here,
all I've seenis Amos following orders.
Go to the room, come here,
eat this, don't drink that.
And he cannot complain, either.
Right, Amos?
Because she probably reminds you all day
that she is the Queen
who got you a luxurious house
and three jeeps. How could you complain?
- You have three jeeps, bro?
- Two.
Now everything's out in the open.
Amos, this is my dad.
And this is your future wife.
So think about it,
because this is a life-long decision.
Maybe I've exaggerated a bit,
not life-long,
at some point she'll probably
cheat on you like I cheated on her mother.
OK, goodnight everyone.
Let's go, we're out of here.
- It's time to go, come on, Avi.
- Amalia, sit down.
Stay, everything is fine.
- Where are you going?
- The bathroom.
Viking...
Viking...
There he is!
Why?! Why, huh?
- Stop with the singing...
- Ouch, ouch!
- Daddy, Amos is hitting me.
- Guch?
- Well?
- Well what?
Well, what? We are outside your Hamam
and you are not here. Aren't you coming?
- Come out.
- What do you mean? It's tomorrow.
No, and if you'd checked your schedule,
you'd know Noa is giving her speech,
the one she's been working on for months,
in twenty minutes. Come out.
Are you sure it's not tomorrow?
Shit, you are right,
it is tomorrow.
- Really?
- What do you think? Come out, already!
Well, Dad, I have to go,
I screwed up.
Why now? Where are you going?
- And who will scatter the pitas, Meirav?
- Hell, no.
Here.
We'll toss this on our way
and get over there.
Over her dead body.
Limor, he is not putting that in the car.
Limor, can you help me with the door?
Thanks.
Now, listen carefully, you bacteria.
If we're late, I want you
to fire yourself.
And I do not want to see you again,
is that clear?
And if you make it on time?
Then tomorrow at nine in the office
with a decaf cappuccino.
Bye, bye. Go.
- Man, look at this.
- Here's the plan.
We'll now go in, listen to the speech,
clap, wipe away a tear,
and then you can go
scatter your carbs.
The crate goes with you,
the car isn't staying.
Guch, there is no way
I'm going in with the pitas.
Amos, what is this? Are you ashamed
of who you are now? Let's go.
- Picture.
- Yes, thank you.
Amos!
Picture! Amos!
Guys, give him some room. Amos.
Amos, come.
OK, help me out here.
Son of a...
If you had told me,
I would have gotten rid of it earlier.
Now I'm stuck with it.
Whats the deal, Zvika?
Happy birthday.
29 years old, not a kid anymore.
But it's in three days.
But in three days, Noa is in Paris.
Happy birthday!
I love your girlfriend.
God knows how much money
she spent here.
Did you see your photo
on all the napkins?
This must have cost
2,000 shekels alone, right?
Dalia, your dad is stuck to the bar.
He's been hitting the Arak hard.
Dad, two more and that's it!
Cheers!
Cheers, baby. I'm counting his drinks.
Relax. He's just excited.
Today he will finally meet Noa.
Where is Noa? Fashionably late?
Darbuka players, quiet, quiet!
Please, come in closer,
friends, come on.
Amos, what's up?
OK, good evening everyone.
All you...
warm people.
Noa Hollander will join us soon.
But first, a few short announcements.
First, I want to remind you all
that "Gangster" is about to be
released in cinemas,
Noa's first Hollywood film.
Highly recommend.
By the way, good news for most of you,
there will be Hebrew subtitles.
And now,
a song for the birthday boy.
No, you're not going to do this
to us, Tzvika.
No, no, no, sweetie,
I will not sing.
Happy birthday to you.
Assaf?
- Happy birthday to you.
- Avi, is he here?
- How should I know?
- Ladies and gentlemen...
- Happy birthday to you.
- Live from Spain...
- Assaf? Wow!
- The star from Barcelona.
My brother!
Assaf Dahari!
Happy birthday to you,
your bank account is blooming,
happy birthday,
dear Amos.
Bro, I love you, bro.
We miss you, Assaf.
Grandpa, you're there, too!
I miss you so much.
And I would kill to be with you right now,
but I can't,
because I was taken captive
by this hot Spanish woman, Blanca!
Ola! Ola, Amosh.
Happy birthday and kisses from Barcelona.
Kiss me, my love.
What a moron.
Mom, don't be alarmed,
but it looks like I'm staying in Spain,
for good.
No! Assafi, return at once!
Come back right now!
- What is this?
- Avi, tell him to come back.
- I did tell him.
- Oh, yeah? Should we?
Don't do it!
- It's a mess here!
- Shut up, Dad!
You know what?
Here I am!
Shit, I told you not to park here,
now my shoe is all muddy.
Dafna, careful with the heels, babe.
My shoes are all muddy.
Hurry up with the present, Pish!
Vanessa, you nailed it.
I cannot believe I'm here.
They have a red carpet here
like in the movies.
There are photographers, too.
Calm down.
This is your time. Stand up, be cool,
It's show time!
No one's taking my picture.
Yes they are
and you're doing great.
Vanessa Maimon plus one.
Plus two.
I am so glad I chose you
out of all my clients.
I am so glad I'm your cousin.
Remind me again, we're here to...?
To take a selfie with Noa Hollander,
which you will send to every website
with the headline:
Noa Hollander also knows
Dafna Donsky is the next big thing.
And also because you are still in love
with your ex.
You're not on the list,
step aside.
Excuse me?
You're not on the list,
step aside.
Of course I am.
The birthday boy's sister invited me.
Check Vanessa with a V,
or Venessush.
Vanessa,
I spent 400 shekels on this dress,
- and we're not even getting in?
- We're getting in, relax.
Move already!
At first it seemed like a done deal.
I'm packing and crying. Crying! Her too!
Can't stop touching each other.
All of a sudden, at the last minute,
she tells me she wants to make Aliyah.
Right, Blanca?
Mama Amania, I want Israel.
How sweet.
Wow, bro, that is moving.
So moving, Amos, really...
Listen carefully,
When you put Amos and Noa into Google
Translate, you get Assaf and Blanca.
We are your Spanish version.
Blanca is definitely the one,
I found her!
She's not Jewish,
what's he talking about?
She's Spanish, Amalia, calm down.
I will not calm down. Their kids
will not be Jewish, do you understand?
My dad will cut us off.
Your dad already cut us off
three drinks ago.
Come on, Van Van, let's go.
They're not letting us in.
This is how Ethiopians feel
in Tel Aviv.
Lady, you wanted to come
to a high- end party, that's the price.
Getting humiliated is part of the deal.
And you, stop talking!
I'm trying to brand myself
and you're calling me Van Van?
Memorize it, in front of my clients,
my name is--
Vanessa.
- Tzvika!
- Granot, a pleasure.
Are you her new guy?
My condolences.
A somewhat pale version
of the old guy, no?
And no, you are not getting in.
I was personally invited by Meirav.
Even if you were personally invited
by the Peres Center for Peace,
you wouldn't have gotten in.
Noa doesn't want you in there.
Is Noa controlling Amos' life?
Yes, and after you slept with her ex
and ran to post about it on Facebook,
you are officially
persona non grata.
Tell me, pumpkin,
what does it say about you,
that you're dating someone
who's still crazy about her ex?
I am not crazy about him at all,
I came here strictly
as a good friend and an agent.
Oh, right.
I read in the Hollywood Reporter
that after I kicked you out,
you started an agency in Bat Yam,
out of your mom's kitchen.
- How's it going?
- Amazing.
I see.
A little tip from one agent to another,
go home, Van Van.
Because your heart is about to get broken.
- It was nice to meet you.
- Not really.
We had your last birthday at "Dove Kebab"
and came home stinking of chicken steak.
Look at you now,
celebrating your birthday like a sheikh.
Honestly, bro,
did money change you?
You are such a moron.
You left your brain at customs, huh?
Why isn't Blanca loaded. Why?
Wow! What is this?
Attention, ladies and gentlemen,
it is time for your presents, Amos.
But where is Noa?
An expensive car just arrived...
guess where Noa is.
Oh, no, it's not a car,
it's a fucking 4C, damn it!
Gather round folks,
come closer, friends.
Here is present number one,
Alpha Romeo 4C,
accelerates to 100 KPH
in 4.5 seconds and...
Mr. Dahari...
it is about time you stopped driving
your parents junker.
- Happy birthday.
- Hot damn!
Wait, wait!
And for the cherry on top,
open please.
- Who is this? Where is Noa?
- Open it.
Wow!
Where is she?
Amos.
You must hate me for doing all this,
but I had to tell you a few things
in front of the people who love you.
I am crazy about you.
And you don't deserve it,
because you do not cook for me enough,
you hate going out with my friends,
you love hiding from me behind walls
and giving me a scare
and you stopped rubbing
my feet before bedtime.
Come here,
I will rub you one finger at a time.
But I am in love with you
like I've never been before,
with anyone.
And I know we have a "nothing embarrassing
in front of family" rule,
but here I am,
laying it all out,
and asking you in front of everyone,
Amos Dahari,
you stud,
will you marry me?
I'll be in the car.
Where is he going?
Vanessa, am I not going in?
Quiet, quiet,
let him answer already, quiet!
Quiet! Let him answer!
Are you serious right now?
And what is this for?
Assaf, congrats!
There, it's just me.
Do you want to?
Well, answer!
Answer!
I am shocked! I am just shocked!
I am shocked we're not inside,
I don't get it!
Vanessa!
You are the worst agent ever!
You're taking me home then we're done!
Except a few things,
what did I get?
What did I get?
Tomorrow I'm switching
to Eliyanah Tidhars agency, got it?
They'll represent me,
not you!
The nerve!
I don't even know what I'm doing here.
Unbelievable. This is too much!
Too much!
No, really, I cannot believe this.
I came here for you...
My daughter–in–law.
I ALWAYS KNEW YOU'D GET MARRIED.
Some lucky people
win millions in the lottery
and some
marry into it.
Everyone who thought this
wouldn't work out, myself included,
are eating their words today.
So let's try calling to
say congratulations, live,
to the Cinderella from Bat Yam,
Amos Dahari. We're dialing.
Shit!
Amos, hello? Amos Dahari?
Amos, it's "Mickeys Night",
we just wan--
- No comment.
- No comment. OK, we'll try--
You flooded the web today
with chatter about the royal couple,
but it's still unclear if Father Gideon
will be attending the wedding
or what he thinks about the fact
that the heir to his millions
is marrying a debt-saddled baker.
- Boo!
- Woah!
See? I can do it too.
You scared me, stupid.
This stupid is about
to be your wife, buddy.
You had to, huh?
Do it like that,
with the people, the cameras,
the dramatic entrance.
Let me get this straight,
you're criticizing my surprise?
Yes.
You couldn't do it like this?
Just you and me alone?
You are seriously criticizing
my surprise?
- Such ingratitude.
- l'm kidding.
Thank you.
For the party, for Assaf,
for this.
You do know that I want one, too?
And I want a flashy one.
- Don't you get cheap with me, Yemenite.
- Done.
Tomorrow I'm going to sell a kidney
and get you a huge diamond.
A huge one,
that will give my finger a hump.
I love you, Noa Dahari.
Noa Hollander Dahari.
Oh, no, we won't be doing that thing
where you add nine surnames, got it?
It's Noa Dahari or nothing.
Want some wine?
Noa Hollander Dahari.
Suck it.
I can see your Bert and Ernie.
Impressive.
Do you know who I am?
Yes, you're Gideon Hollander.
And you're a lucky guy.
Congratulations.
On your birthday, too.
- Thank you.
- Eden.
We got you boxers.
Funny, right?
Ta–da!
You can't exchange them,
they're from the airport.
Gideon, stop, I can't.
We're embarrassing him.
Come on, why are you embarrassed?
I walk around at home completely naked
and I have panoramic windows.
Half of LA sees my business
every morning.
Do you love my daughter?
What?
Am I making you nervous?
Are you cold? What?
No, I... you know.
You are cold.
Hollander Dahari,
are you frozen in place?
What are those ugly boxers?
- Dear God.
- There is no God here, just Dad.
Congratulations.
What are you doing here?
I heard the good news and I came.
Who let you in?
No one, this is my house.
No, this is my house.
Fine.
It's your house.
You've been out of the country for a decade,
and now you barge in here
in the middle of the night?
And with one of your bimbos?
You couldn't call?
This is Eden,
my personal assistant
for the past 18 months.
The best I ever had!
Hard working, Zionist,
and not a bimbo.
And she's also spending
the night here tonight.
Not in my room.
- You are not staying here.
- Noa.
- Go sleep at your hotel by the sea.
- I don't want to.
Why don't you introduce me to the guy
who's about to sign a draconian prenup
and only then,
may he be your husband?
Oh, that's why you're here,
to ruin this for me.
Amos, right?
Listen, the cliché about the rich father
who tries to separate
his beautiful daughter
from the poor guy with the heart of gold,
that's not us.
My daughter can marry
whomever she likes,
OK?
Oh, how moving,
I'm so moved.
Amos, call your parents.
I need them to come
meet this amazing guy.
I would really love
to meet your parents.
I am sure they are lovely.
They are parents.
That already makes them
lovelier than you.
Amos,
put some clothes on.
Take his maid with you, too,
she can wait in the study.
Come on, it's over here.
Tell me.
Why are you so eager to humiliate me
in front of your boyfriend?
- I just got here- -
- Dad, give me a break, OK?
Noa! Don't raise your voice.
You know your voice gives me a migraine
when it's loud.
- How long are you here for?
- I'm headed to Milan tomorrow.
U2 concert,
third row in the middle.
Care to join us?
No.
Or how about a kind word
about your dad's new look?
Check it out.
You lost weight.
Eighteen pounds in two months!
Vegan for two months.
No drinking, no smoking.
You're holding a glass of wine.
A glass of red wine a day is healthy.
You're pathetic.
Amos, I'm sorry
for the incident earlier,
but at least we won't forget
the first time we met.
What is that, your work?
- Yes.
- Wow!
Wow.
Nice, very nice.
- You're good, Amos.
- Thank you.
How are you using your talent?
This is probably worth a few dimes.
Not too much right now,
I'm starting art school this year.
Switch goals and come to LA
as soon as possible.
I'll introduce you to the Koreans,
they will pay a fortune for your work.
In a year
they'll be studying you at art school.
Chi Wai will love this, right?
I'll tell him that you love it.
See? That's how it works.
If I decide that some guy from Bat Yam
is going to be the next Banksy,
then he'll be the next Banksy.
OK, I am dying to sleep.
My dad and her will sleep here.
- Cool.
- My daughter is slowly defrosting.
It started with "bimbo",
moved up to "maid", and now it's "her".
Good night, Amos.
Just Amos, no last name.
A brand.
Goodnight.
- Congratulations.
- Thanks.
OK, calm down.
He's cute,
not the monster you said he was.
I don't care about the wedding.
I just want to be called Grandma Amalia
within the year.
Maybe that's why they're
getting married already?
Maybe she's pregnant?
What do you mean, pregnant?
She's flat as an airstrip.
So flat she barely has a belly button.
So what? Ruslana only started showing
five months in.
Of course you're invited, please!
You are half family, aren't you?
Oh and Eliran, save me
two pounds of tomatoes for tomorrow.
And this time you are taking my money.
I won't take them for free.
By sweetie, say hi to Mom.
"Won't take them for free",
you love free stuff.
But I am playing it polite.
Daharis, you are about
to pass out now.
Grade A meat, personally imported
from Extremadura...
Grandpa!
And the bread was baked in the bakery
using Blanca's grandma's recipe.
- Blanca!
- Yes, my chocolate candy.
Tell my...
dear family what we'll be eating.
Vanessa, listen, I am so sorry.
For the humiliation you made me endure,
I am through with you, Meirav.
Just two weeks ago I was wiping your tears
because you got rejected again.
and this is how you repay me?
I swear to you,
I didn't see any of the...
190 missed calls.
You've switched sides, Meirav.
You ditched me for that frog–eyed creature
who stole your brother from us both.
But you know what? Cool, it's no problem,
because I am erasing both you and Amos,
and your entire family,
all of you, from my memory.
Totally deleted, done!
Vene--
OK?
Now can you sleep here?
But did you really mean
what you said, totally deleted?
No more going to their events?
No more shopping at their supermarket
even though there's one
right under your house?
It's over, right?
Look, Van Van,
their disgusting world,
it's not for you.
You are Vanessa Mimon from Bat Yam,
and that's what I love about you.
Please, Mama Amalia.
Good, good.
Very good, Blanca, very good.
- Right?
- Thank you.
Dad, you don't understand how this trip
messed me up.
Dad, after all the hell I put you through,
I want to be glued to you at the bakery,
be your right hand and help you expand.
"What does 'expand' mean, Assaf?"
ask me.
What does "expand" mean, Assaf?
Blanca and I are starting
a catering company
with baked goods
and Blanca goods, boom!
We'll make millions.
Tell me,
- is this kosher?
- What do you mean kosher? It's pork.
Avi! Take it out of your mouth!
- Dad, you're eating pork!
- It's not pork, it's jamon.
Jamon is pig's leg!
Amalia,
it's allowed once.
Dad, we do not eat pork,
or giraffe, or monkey!
What are we, Thai?
Ah! Stop!
Stop!
Why?
- Because it's fun.
- Stop it, come on!
Man, I hate you and your music.
- You hate me?
- Yes.
I crashed last night,
did you guys talk more?
He's leaving at noon.
I will be nice until then.
I knew you weren't getting along,
but I didn't know it was that bad.
Amos,
you, like, think he's cute, right?
After he gassed you up yesterday
about the paintings?
And how he'll fly you out to LA?
- You kind of like him, right?
- Yes.
Your girlfriends can't stand me.
Tzvika is getting paid to put up with me.
Let me make do with your dad.
There is no way he likes you.
Don't fall for it.
It's all manipulation,
he's a bad person.
He's a liar, a hypocrite,
and manipulative.
- But still, Noa, he's your dad.
- That is not a dad.
My family is not your family.
Why? Think about it, he heard
we were getting married and he came.
He came to meet the man
who is going to marry his money.
His money is all he cares about.
Believe me, and do not believe a word
that comes out of his mouth.
Not even when he says good morning.
Morning.
There's breakfast,
and your scumbag's at the door.
Knock first and you might not
hear all the compliments you've earned.
Good morning.
Vegetable omelette.
From eggs enriched with Omega–3.
She is allergic to coriander,
it gives her a rash on her back,
but why would you know that?
Are you serious?
You left him outside?
He has a really nice office,
which I pay for. He should stay there.
As long as I live in this house,
I do not need him in here, Noa.
You don't live here.
And if Tzvika decides you're not
allowed in, you're not allowed in.
- Now you've killed him.
- That's your dream, right?
Where to, Noa?
Amos,
I take it you don't like him, either?
Eat, at least.
Good morning, Zvikush.
Who is she?
His Tzvika.
Maybe her Min Pin.
My job is to be Noa's Pit Bull.
- How could you not tell me he was coming?
- You think he told me?
What is he doing here
after ten years in exile?
Sucking up to Amos, bothering me.
- Did you also come to bother me?
- No.
On the contrary, I got you
a fantastic interview next week,
with Mickey Ludig- -
Noa, hang on.
He has been begging me for a meeting
for two months. I know you don't want to.
Yes, because I can't stand him.
I respect that.
And I respect
that you are going out with him
even though I hate him, but here we are.
The man's ratings are through the roof.
Now with the film and the wedding,
it only makes sense, right?
OK, fine.
It's a deal. Baby, believe me,
it's the right thing to do, fantastic.
Go together, it's a couples interview.
It will be- -
- Zvik!
- What, what?
- What, what what?
- lt's just me or no one.
And that freeloader should
be thankful.
- Noa.
- Tzvika.
OK.
No problem.
His dog is going into surgery
in three days,
I will be with you in Paris,
he will probably dump me but thats fine.
No problem... I will call and cancel.
Fine, you nag.
Are you sure?
But make me an omelette, regular.
Who loves you?
Who loves you? I'm crazy about you. Crazy.
What? You're not going to ask me?
- I am asking. Here's a question: when?
- When, what?
When can we do
a run-through of the interview,
so you don't screw it up?
Amos, if he's bothering you, tell me,
I'll take his car, too.
Say,
why don't we invite your parents over
for dinner tonight?
Today?
You said you were leaving today.
Yes, but you didn't want to come,
so it killed my mood.
No dinner, what dinner?
- Why not?
- Mom.
- Amos!
- Gideon Hollander is here,
he wants to have you over for dinner.
What?! That stud is in the country?
Avi!
Evening!
Wow, Amos, what is this? What a house.
I could live in the dog house.
Your friend didn't let Vanessa
into the party.
Now she isn't talking to me.
- Hey, how are--
- Ola.
Good evening,
it is so good to see you.
Noa, you look amazing.
You look great, Noa.
Good evening, Amalia.
Oh, I also know your name.
Good evening, Mr. Hollander.
Or may I call you Gideon?
- Gideon.
- Gideon or Gidon?
However you want.
Who is this beauty?
Your daughter?
No, no, no, no.
That's my youngest girl, Meirav.
This is my other son's girlfriend.
Spanish, doesn't know a word of Hebrew.
Hello, Spanish.
- What's your name?
- Blanca, it's a pleasure.
You smell wonderful. What perfume is that?
Shall we go to the veranda?
Look at that.
- Your mom's smelling a stranger. Just like that.
- Eden.
You and my dad are really close, huh?
Very, I'm learning a lot from him.
You know, I've been trying to remember
where I know you from.
- I don't think we've met.
- Yes, we have.
Two years ago,
when I visited him in LA,
you were the assistant's
assistant's assistant.
You weren't even allowed to talk to him,
just serve him coffee and leave.
Look at you now.
Tell me, did I do something to you
to make you speak to me this way?
Go to your room, this is a private dinner.
Your dad invited me.
- Noa, let's--
- Don't call me Noa,
I am not your friend.
You're right, you're not my friend.
You're everything
he said you were.
Gideon, when we first started dating,
Avi would cook for me all the time.
Today, he won't even make me
a toasted sandwich with cottage cheese.
Really, Dad, you used to cook?
We always cook for our women
in the beginning.
- Right, Avi?
- They have a chef and waiters
to slice for fruit salad for them.
Noa and I cooked,
and we will continue to cook, thank you.
How is the wine, Dad? And the meat?
- Vegan?
- l'm allowed it once a week.
Funny, that's what he told my mom
when she found out he was cheating.
Assaf, pass the salt.
Noa, I saw the movie trailer,
it looks great.
Thank you. Will you come to the premiere?
There are a few pre–premieres.
One is in Jerusalem.
Sure, I will take my princess
to the Western Wall.
Hey, could we
do the catering at the premiere?
- Assaf, please.
- What, mom? Those events are a jackpot!
Amos, I see that you're the artist,
and your brother is the businessman.
- You could say that.
- I used to be the artist, but not anymore.
My future wife and I are
taking over the family business,
So you can say
that I am a businessman.
So, how much would you sell me that
painting for, with the blue rabbits?
You know, Eden took pictures
of a few paintings,
we sent them to the Korean, and he loves that one.
He wants it in his office.
- Really?
- Congrats.
Ten thousand.
Shekels?
- But don't forget my commission.
- Chill out.
That painting is not for sale.
Of course not at that price.
Assaf, go higher.
20,000 dollars.
We are not selling it.
Assaf, stop it.
How about we ask your boyfriend?
It's his painting.
What are you trying to do?
Impress the table?
Help your boyfriend build his future,
I'm trying to be nice, you don't like it?
- You're overdoing it.
Ah.
Is it so important to you
that everyone knows how great you are?
- Well then I'll tell them about you.
- Noa.
Don't Noa me.
We're getting married.
You wanted
your parents to know my dad, right?
Are you sure you want to do this?
Absolutely.
Please, go ahead.
Noa, now is not the time.
This dad,
cheated on my mom a million times.
He cheated on us with his clients,
his employees, her friends.
Even while she was dying
of cancer at the hospital,
he cheated on her.
Really.
I caught him in the hospital parking lot.
You remember all the small details.
Amazing.
This dad
left me a day after my mom died.
I was 16.
Because opening hotels in LA
was more important.
Right, Dad?
This dad made sure to remind my mom,
ever since I can remember,
that if it was not for the "accident,"
which is me,
he would never have married her.
That's the truth.
I'm done here.
- Noa.
- Noale.
Why bring up the past?
Everyone's here.
Let's talk about the here and now.
Gideon.
Avi, you know that,
in the 20 hours I have been here,
all I've seenis Amos following orders.
Go to the room, come here,
eat this, don't drink that.
And he cannot complain, either.
Right, Amos?
Because she probably reminds you all day
that she is the Queen
who got you a luxurious house
and three jeeps. How could you complain?
- You have three jeeps, bro?
- Two.
Now everything's out in the open.
Amos, this is my dad.
And this is your future wife.
So think about it,
because this is a life-long decision.
Maybe I've exaggerated a bit,
not life-long,
at some point she'll probably
cheat on you like I cheated on her mother.
OK, goodnight everyone.
Let's go, we're out of here.
- It's time to go, come on, Avi.
- Amalia, sit down.
Stay, everything is fine.
- Where are you going?
- The bathroom.