Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 6, Episode 33 - Summer in Alaska - full transcript

Starring...

and...

Yeah, this summer, I'm
thinking of getting my job back

- at the soda fountain.
- That's neat, Wally.

My dad got me a great job handing
out towels at the country club.

That's a great job, Lumpy?

Sure. Dad says I'll meet the cream
of Mayfield society in the locker room.

How can you tell if they're society
guys when they're in their underwear?

My father went over the
membership list with me.

He checked off all the bigshots.

At ease, men.



- Hi, Eddie.
- What's happening, Eddie?

Hey, Lumpy, Wally, how
many times have I told you

not to talk about
girls in front of the kid?

He'll turn us all in.

He's talking about the jobs
we're lining up for summer.

Yeah. Lumpy's got a great
job lined up at the country club.

I guess I'll probably go
back to the soda fountain.

And I might be
delivering papers.

You don't say.
Delivering papers.

Well, a member
of the fourth estate.

Okay, Eddie, do you have
some kind of a job lined up?

Do I have a job?

Just the greatest job

since the Bobbsey Twins
went to Blueberry Island.



No fooling, Eddie?

Are you going
to drive that truck

for that diaper service again?

Are you kidding?

Edward W. Haskell
is shipping out.

Shipping out?

Sure. I am spending the summer

on the bounding main.

Huh?

I'm going to sea.

Ward.

I heard the doorbell
a few minutes ago.

- Who came in?
- Oh, it was Eddie Haskell.

He went upstairs.

I wonder what he's up to.

You know, the same
thought occurred to me.

I wonder why we're always
so suspicious of that boy.

Oh, dear, any teenager who's
that polite and well-mannered

will bear watching.

Do you suppose he came
over to study with Wally?

Oh, I don't think
they're studying.

Lumpy Rutherford's
up there, too.

Oh. Sort of summit meeting.

Wish I knew what was going on.

Well, uh, why don't we
wait until the house blows up

and then take it from there?

You're getting a job on a
commercial fishing boat?

You read me right, Sam.

A commercial fishing boat

that fishes the Alaskan waters.

Boy, how'd you swing
a job like that, Eddie?

Through my big shot uncle.

He knows the president
of the whole fishing fleet.

He's getting me an appointment

with the captain
on one of the boats.

I got it made.

Boy, that would sure
be something, all right.

Going all the way up
to Alaska on a boat.

I'll say. I don't even think
the guys on Route 66

have been up there yet.

Well, it'll give a guy a chance

to see the rest of the world.

Wait till the rest of the
world gets a load of you.

Gee, Eddie, isn't that
going to be pretty hard work?

Hard work? Since when
is fishing hard work?

You're fishing, and
you're getting paid for it.

Can you name me a better
combination than that?

Yeah, it sure sounds
like a good deal, all right.

Boy, Eddie, you're
making me hate

my country club job already,

and I haven't even started.

I feel sorry for you guys,

spending the whole
summer in this stale town,

day after day,
seeing the same old...

Hey. What if I put a
word in with my uncle?

He might be able
to get you guys jobs

on the same boat.

Boy, Eddie, you think you could?

Why not? I'm his
favorite nephew.

Eddie, you're his only nephew.

Sure. So how can I lose?

How about it, Wally?

How about if I give
my uncle a pitch

about you guys going with me?

Gee, I don't know, Eddie.

Oh, I get it.

You're afraid Mama
and Papa wouldn't want

their little baby boy going
bye-bye far, far away.

Do you want me
to hit him, Wally?

So who are you all of a
sudden, Cassius Clay?

As soon as I get home,

I'm going to ask my father.

What about you, Wally?

I guess I could ask him.

Now we're moving.

Can you see the three
of us on that boat?

We'll make the scene
like Sinbad the Sailor.

I wonder how I
could ask my father.

Just tell him you'll be out
of his sight for three months.

He'll buy it like that.

I'll let you guys know as
soon as I hear anything.

Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Cleaver.

What's on your mind, Eddie?

Oh, I just wanted
to let you know

I won't be seeing
too much of you folks

in the coming months.

Oh, is that so, Eddie?

I'm summering in Alaska
on a commercial fishing boat.

How'd you manage that?

My uncle has an
important connection

with the owner
of a fishing fleet,

and with his recommendation,

I'll have no trouble
securing a berth

on one of their ships.

Well, that's quite a job
you're taking on, Eddie.

Oh, yes, sir.

Uh, I wonder if you're familiar

with Two Years Before the Mast.

It's a book by Charles Dana.

Yes, I know.

I'd like to pattern my
sea experiences after his.

You know, they named a
point after him in California...

Dana Point.

Well, Eddie, are
you looking forward

to having a point
named after you?

Well, no, but I was
thinking of writing a book

on my experiences
with the fishing fleet.

Entering college with a
book on the best-seller list

would certainly give me an
edge with my English prof.

Don't you think, Mr. Cleaver?

Oh, yes, yes, Eddie.

Uh, ship ahoy.

And remember, starboard's
right and port's left.

Oh, yes, Mr. Cleaver.

I forgot you were
in the Seabees.

I didn't realize it was
such a nautical outfit.

Good-bye, Eddie.

Good-bye, Mrs. Cleaver.

Well, he stumped you
for a minute, didn't he?

Well, at least I got rid of him.

Ward, this business
about working

on an Alaskan fishing boat.

I just hope it isn't catching.

Well, that kind of
teenage virus usually is.

Of course, Wally's
already talked to Mr. Barnes

about working down
at the soda fountain.

Yeah, that's true.

But whipping up a
toasted cheese sandwich

is, uh... does seem kind of dull

compared to gaffing
a 50-pound salmon.

You know, Ward,
knowing Eddie's parents,

I just can't understand
them giving their permission.

That you, Edward?

Yes, Dad.

Where have you been, dear?

Over at Wally's.

Here's your gasoline card, Dad.

Where'd you get this?

Well, it was on your dresser,

and I asked you if I
could take it this morning

when you were in the shower.

Perhaps you didn't hear me.

Yes, perhaps I didn't.

Hey, I just told Lumpy and Wally

about me going to sea
with the fishing fleet.

Boy, were their
eyes bugging out.

Edward, about
that job, don't you...

Eddie, supper's almost ready.

Why don't you go
and wash up, huh?

Okay, Dad.

George, I still wish
Edward wasn't going.

- Look...
- He does a lot of boasting,

but really, he's
still such a baby.

He pestered my brother
so much about the job,

I think we ought to let
him go through with it.

Do him a lot of good.

But it's such a rough life,
and Edward's so sensitive.

Sensitive?

He's about as sensitive
as an armadillo.

Oh, now, George...

I know it may be a
little rough on him,

but I think it's a good
thing for him to get away

and find out that life isn't
all malt shops, hot rods,

and those bossa
nova records of his.

Well, I just hope they
don't have to give him

one of those short
sailor haircuts.

Why would that worry you?

Well, he's worked so
hard keeping those curls.

Beaver, aren't you hungry?

Hungry? Oh, I was
just waiting for Wally

to start something.

Wally?

Uh, well, yeah.

There... There was something

I wanted to talk
to you about, Dad.

Well, now's as
good a time as any.

Yeah.

Well, uh, first of all,

I guess you know next
fall I'll be going to college.

Right.

Yeah.

And, uh, well, I'm
getting pretty old now.

I drive my own car,

and I buy my own clothes.

Yes, you're getting to
be quite a young man.

So... So don't
you think that, uh...

That when a young man
gets to be as old as I am,

he should be able
to make decisions?

What kind of decisions, Wally?

Well, you know, about himself,

where he's concerned.

Well, uh, yes, Wally.

Uh, your mother and I
both would want it that way,

- wouldn't we, June?
- Oh, of course.

Yeah, well, I, uh...

I think I use pretty
good judgment.

That you do, Wally.
Your father and I feel

that your judgment is
usually quite mature.

Well, sure, Mom. I've
heard you and Mom say that

a lot of times.

Well, so I think that...

Wally, if you're thinking

of going to Alaska with Eddie,

it's out of the question.

Boy, what a gyp.

Yeah, Wally. Next
year, you'll be in college.

But they turned you down

as fast as if you were
still in high school.

I'm going to look like a baby
in front of Eddie and Lumpy

when their parents
are letting them go.

Rats.

What's the matter with you?

Oh, plenty. I can't go
with you and Eddie.

- You can't.
- No.

Neither can I.

No kidding?

How come you can't go?

My dad said I'm too young.

He said maybe, after I'd been
in college a couple of years.

How come your dad
turned you down, Lumpy?

My dad wants me
working for people

who can do me some
good later on in life,

and he says you just
can't meet that kind

on a crummy fishing boat.

I guess we're really going
to get the razz from Eddie.

I can just hear him
laughing in our faces.

Wally.

Yeah?

I was just thinking.

Maybe Eddie
made up all that stuff

about going to sea.

Why would he make
something like that up?

Because he's a big
wise guy loudmouth.

Yeah, that's right. He is.

Gee, Lumpy, do you think
he could be making it up?

I don't know. But if he is,
I just might belt him one.

Boy, on account of him,

I got in a big beef with
my pop over this trip.

He got so sore at me, he
made me leave the table.

I didn't even get to eat
my strawberry shortcake.

Is that so bad?

I'll say it is.

We only have strawberry
shortcake once a month.

Hey, Dad, is it okay if I
use the den to study in?

Oh, sure Beaver, but why
can't you use your room?

Well, Eddie just came up there,

and now he and Wally and Lumpy

are having a big argument.

What's it all about, Beaver?

I don't know. They threw me out

before it started going good.

Well, I hope
they're not fighting

over that silly
Alaskan fishing trip.

Well, dear, they're normal,
well-adjusted teenagers.

They could be getting
hysterical over anything.

Ahh.

What do you mean
I'm making all this up?

You heard us.
All this crazy jazz

about you going to
Alaska with a fishing fleet.

Look, you two creeps,

I talked to my uncle
tonight on the phone.

I even set it up so you guys

could go along on the interview.

Ah, malarky.

Look, Wally, you think
I'm making this up?

Well, gee, I don't know, Eddie,

but when we were
in grammar school,

you told us that your father

was a three-star
general in the war.

Yeah. And then we found

that air raid helmet
in the garage

with his name on it.

When he wasn't
busy being a general,

he could have been
an air raid warden.

Anyway, how come all of a sudden

you guys think
I'm making this up?

Well, because no
parents of a guy your age

would let him go running
off on any fishing boat.

Well, my parents are letting me.

Yeah? Well, how come
ours aren't letting us go

and yours are letting you?

Because my parents
treat me like a man.

Look, you guys, I'm
going down tomorrow

to talk to the captain.

And if you don't believe me,

why don't you just come
along and see for yourselves?

All right, smarty, we
will. Won't we, Wally?

Yeah. Yeah, all right, we will.

Well, okay.

You know what I think?

I think you guys are just
too chicken to ship out.

That's why you're
giving me all this jazz.

Listen, Eddie, don't
you call us chicken.

Why not?

Because Wally here's
liable to belt you one.

- Hi, Mom.
- Hi, Beaver.

I've been waiting for you.

What did I do now?

Nothing. I just wondered
where you were.

We had to stay after school
and practice for graduation.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

We had to practice not
laughing during the ceremonies.

By the way, did you see
Wally on your way home?

Oh, yeah. And he gave
me a message for you.

He said that he and
Lumpy and Eddie,

they'll be home later because
they're going down to the docks

to see about a job
in the fishing boat.

Beaver, your father told him
he couldn't even consider it.

Oh, they're not
doing anything wrong.

They just went down
there to show up Eddie.

Not a bad place, is it?

It's okay.

Well, go ahead.

Go ahead what?

Do something.

We came down here to
watch you become a sailor.

Oh.

Ahoy.

Anybody aboard?

And what do you want, sonny?

Well, if you don't
mind, I'd like to see

the man in charge,
Captain Drake.

I'm Captain Drake. Who are you?

I'm Edward Haskell.

So? You say that like I'm
supposed to be impressed.

My uncle, Richard Haskell,
is a friend of Mr. Thompson,

the owner of the line.

He was going to call about me.

Oh, yes. I got that call.

Another friend of
the owner's, huh?

Yes, sir.

Tell me something, kid.

Why do you want to go to sea?

Well, I thought it
might be exciting.

Oh, you'll think it's exciting,
until we clear the breakwater.

You friends of the owner, too?

Oh, no, sir.

We're not friends of anybody.

No, we just came down
to... To be with him.

Oh, now, isn't that nice?

Couldn't his nurse maid make it?

You two wait here.

Come on in, Haskell.

Yes, sir.

Boy, it's not exactly like Eddie's
going on a two-week cruise to Honolulu.

No. Boy, I sure hate to see
what that guy would have done

if Eddie hadn't been
a friend of the owner.

That's a good-looking boat, sir.

Would I be sailing on that?

I doubt it.

She went down in a
gale two years ago.

Oh.

Look, son, if your uncle's
a friend of the owner,

I suppose I'm going
to be stuck with you.

But do you know
what it's like out there?

Well, not really, sir.

But I've read
books about the sea.

Have you ever read Two
Years Before the Mast, sir?

It's a book by Charles Dana.

In California, there's
a point named after...

Sorry to have
interrupted you, sir.

Does the company
supply my uniform?

Uniform? You'll wear
dungarees and a rubber apron.

You'll live in the fo'c'sle.

Your job will be to cut bait.

You'll go to bed
smelling like fish,

you'll get up in the
morning smelling like fish,

you'll eat fish, you'll clean
fish, and you'll hate fish.

Yes, sir.

But what do you do
about seasickness?

Don't worry, you'll do it.

Boy, it sounds kind of rough.

Yeah.

I'm sure glad my father
told me I couldn't go.

Do you have a
doctor onboard, sir?

Do we have a what onboard?

A doctor.

And why would we need a doctor?

Well, I just wondered
what would happen

if someone got hurt,

like if someone got a
fish hook in their hand.

No problem. We just cut
your hand off and use it for bait.

Oh, yes. That's very
amusing, Captain.

Boy, he's a regular
Captain Bligh.

Yeah, and Eddie's no
Marlon Brando, I'll tell you that.

Son, do you still
want to make this trip?

Oh, yes, sir.

I've got my parents' permission
and I've told all my friends.

When do you finish up school?

Three weeks from Friday, sir.

Okay. Report here at 4:00 A.M.
the following morning. Bring this gear.

Two changes foul weather gear,

work pants, work
shirts, work socks, work...

- Sir, Captain Drake?
- Yes?

Won't I need other clothes,

like a sports jacket and slacks

for when we go
ashore in Juneau and...

Go ashore?

The only time we go
ashore is to fuel up.

We stay at sea until
our holds are full.

Sometimes, it takes all summer.

Three weeks from Friday.

Yes, sir.

Boy, you guys should
have been in there.

The captain and I have
everything all straightened out.

Now do you believe
it's on the up and up?

Yeah. Sure, Eddie.

Being a fisherman's a great job.

You stay at sea all
summer and you get to fish,

and you use hooks and nets,
and you eat fish every day, and...

What's the matter, Eddie?

Let's get out of here. All of a
sudden, I don't feel so good.

Boy, Beav, we really had a
time with Eddie on the way home.

We had to stop three times.

Yeah. You can't take any chances,
since you got those new seat covers.

What do you think
Eddie's going to do?

I don't know. I guess
he'll probably go home

and tell his mother and
father he doesn't want to go.

- Hi, Eddie.
- Hi.

Hi, Moby Dick.

Cut it out, Beav.

Wally, could I see you a minute?

Yeah, sure.

I guess that means
you want me to leave.

If you wouldn't mind, Beav.

Well, Beaver, I thought
you were outside with Wally.

I was, but now
he's talking to Eddie.

I didn't hear Eddie drive up.

Well, Eddie's awful
quiet, and awful green.

What did your folks say about
your interview with the captain?

That's what I wanted to
talk to you about, Wally.

I haven't been home yet.

You haven't?

Wally, I don't want
to go to Alaska.

Yeah, I guess the
captain was a little rough.

Oh. You heard it, huh?

Yeah, just a little bit.

He might have been
putting me on a little,

but I don't know.
That's a pretty tough job

for a guy my age.

Yeah, I guess it is.

Why haven't you been home?

I can't go home and face my
dad and tell him I'm not going,

not after the way I
made such a big deal

about having my rights
and saying I was a man

and I should do what I wanted.

I just can't face him, Wally.

Gee, Eddie, I don't think he's
going to hit you or anything.

No. If he belted me,
it wouldn't be so bad,

but instead, he's
going to laugh at me.

Gosh, what are you going to do?

Well, I thought maybe I
could bunk here tonight,

and maybe by tomorrow, I'd
have enough nerve to face him.

That's no good, Eddie.

When you don't show up at home, he's
going to call here to see what happened.

Yeah. Maybe I'll just go
see a movie and think it over.

So long, Wally.

Yeah. So long, Eddie.

Hello, Wally. Where's Eddie?

That's what I wanted to
talk to you about, Mr. Haskell.

All right. Let's go in here.

Sit down, Wally. Sit down.

Well, how did things go
today down at the dock?

Did Eddie sign up all right?

No, sir.

You see, Eddie isn't going.

What do you mean,
he isn't going?

He's been talking about
nothing but this trip.

The biggest thing in his life.

It's all his idea.

Yes, sir, I know, but...

Well, after he talked
to Captain Drake

and found out what a rough
time he was going to have,

he sort of backed out. Now
he's afraid to come home.

Now why on Earth would
he be afraid to come home?

Well, sir, he's...

He's afraid you
might laugh at him,

and, um, and I... And what?

Well, I was wondering

if maybe there wasn't
something you could do.

Like what?

Well, like...

I was thinking that maybe if
you could put your foot down

and tell Eddie
that he couldn't go,

then it would kind of
take him off the hook.

You know, Wally, that's
just what I'm going to do.

I didn't tell Mrs. Haskell
this, but at first I thought

this would be a
good thing for Eddie,

but as it got closer and closer,
I began getting cold feet myself.

Telling him he can't go
would be a way out for all of us.

Gee, Mr. Haskell,

I really thought you
wanted Eddie to go.

That I wanted to get rid of him?

Wally, does Eddie think
I want to get rid of him?

Well, no, sir.

That is, not very often, sir.

Good night, Mr. Haskell.

Boy, oh boy.

What's the matter now?

It's times like this,

when a guy's
studying for finals,

that he wishes he was
out of school and had a job.

Oh, yeah?

Any kind of a job.

Say, Beav, remind me to
take you down to the water front

so you can talk to
this Captain Drake.

I'd like to do that.

I don't think it would be so bad,
working on one of those boats.

Yeah?

Boy, you should have seen

some of the pictures
they had in there.

20-foot waves breaking
over the bow of the boat.

So what?

You get seasick watching
McHale's Navy on TV.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA