Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 5, Episode 7 - Beaver Takes a Drive - full transcript

Starring...

and...

- Ward.
- I'm in here, dear.

I'm all ready.

Honey, you're not fixing
something to eat, are you?

Didn't I tell you?

The Burkes are having a 1:00
lunch at their housewarming.

I remember the Rutherfords

were having a 1:00 lunch
at their housewarming.

But first, we had to see the
patio, and the rose garden,

and the birdhouse,



and Fred's workshop
in the garage.

Do you remember what time it was

when they finally got
around to serving lunch?

Pass the cheese, please.

Hey, Dad, I wanted to ask...

How come you guys are eating?

I thought you were
going out to lunch.

It may end up being
a rather late lunch,

so we're just having
a little snack first.

Hey, that's pretty sneaky.

I'd prefer to call
it forethought.

Yeah, but if I did
it, it'd be sneaky.

Honey, I'll get the
housewarming gift.

- Hi, Beav.
- Hi, Mom.



What's everybody doing in here?

They're eating.

Hey, Dad, what I
wanted to ask you

was on your way
over to the Burkes',

could you drop
me off at the park?

Yeah, Dad, and
while you're doing that,

could you drop
me off at Gilbert's?

We're not taking our car, boys.

The Tolands are
coming by to pick us up.

Oh. Well, could
you drop us off now?

Wally, the park is
only three blocks away.

And, Beaver, Gilbert's house
is just around the corner.

Yeah, Dad. It'll only
take you a second.

Boys, what's wrong with walking?

Gee, Dad, I don't mind walking,

if you're going on
a hike or something.

Sure, Dad. That's a
fun kind of walking.

But walking to get
someplace, gee, that's no good.

You know something, boys?

When I was a youngster,

we kids would never have gotten
anywhere if we hadn't walked.

I can just imagine
myself saying to my father,

"Dad, I'm going
down to the crick.

How about driving me over?"

Sure, Dad, I can
understand that.

Probably would've
been a lot of trouble

hitching up the horses.

Wally, we happened
to have a Model T.

A Model T what, Dad?

That was a car, Beaver.

Oh, yeah?

Gee, I thought they only
made them for model kits.

I'll tell you something.

Just for today, I think
we'll bring back walking.

Okay, Dad.

Ward, the Tolands just drove up.

I'll be right there.

I guess we better
get going, too, Beav.

Okay, Wally.

Are you boys going
someplace, too?

Yeah. I'm going over to the park

to meet Eddie and
some of the guys.

Beaver's going
over to Gilbert's.

Oh, fine.

Maybe we can drop
you off on our way.

Dear.

Shall we be going?
The Tolands are waiting.

Good-bye, boys.

Bye, Mom, bye, Dad.

You know, Wally, when we
were talking to Dad before,

I figured he was
going to tell us

how he used to have to walk
five miles to school every day.

Yeah, through
three feet of snow.

When he first
started to talk to us,

I thought it was only three
miles and two feet of snow.

It seems like every year,

the distance gets further
and the snow gets deeper.

Yeah.

Hey, Gilbert. I was just
coming over to your house

like I said.

Yeah, but I told my dad
you were coming over,

and he said why don't I go
over to Beaver's for a change,

so I came over here.

Yeah, well, look.

I don't think you guys should
mess around here today.

Why not?

'Cause Mom and Dad are gone,
and you're liable to wreck something.

You're not allowed
to be mean to us.

You're not our parents.

Okay, but you just watch it.

Okay.

You know something, Beaver?

You're lucky you
don't have a sister.

My sister's all the
time pinching me.

Your sister?

Gee, she always looks so
nice sitting in Sunday school.

She just does
that to fool people.

How'd you get over here?

My father drove me over.

I tried to get my dad to
drive me over to your house,

but he wouldn't do it.

They sure squawk when they
have to drive you someplace.

Then how come your
father drove you over here?

My mother made him.

Oh.

You ought to hear him.

"Cub scouts, playground,
music lessons, library,

"over to Richard's,
over to Beaver's.

"What do you think
I'm running around here,

a bus service?"

Is that the way he sounds?

Yeah. And then my mother says,

"But, Harry, you use the
car to go down to the corner

and get a package
of cigarettes."

And then my dad starts
telling me a whole big deal

about when he was a kid.

Yeah. Sometimes, I think it
would be easier to stay home.

You know, when I'm a father,

I'm going to take my kids
any place they want to go.

Yeah. Me, too.

Hey, Gilbert.

What?

I got an idea. Let's
pretend we're old people,

and we're going to take
our kids for a ride in the car.

Okay, Beav.

You be the mother.

Why should I be the mother?

It's my pop's car.

All right, I'll be the mother,

but don't tell any
of the other guys.

Everybody in?

Come on, children.
We haven't got all day.

Don't lean on the doors.

And don't kick the seats. It
makes your father nervous.

Okay, Beaver, we're ready to go.

Children, sit down and be quiet.

Everyone can't
sit by the window.

- You're driving too fast.
- Huh?

That's what my mother
always says to my father.

Oh.

Boy, there are a lot of
stupid drivers out today.

You should've turned
at that last corner.

Well, I couldn't. I
was in the wrong lane.

You're always in the wrong lane
when you're supposed to turn.

Well, you should've told me.

You know, Beaver, you
sound just like my father.

Every time he gets lost,
he blames my mother.

Yeah. My dad always blames
people who give him dumb directions.

Jimmy, will you be quiet?

We are not stopping
for ice cream.

Yeah. Shut up back there.

Beaver, Linda's getting carsick.

Who's Linda?

One of our kids, you dummy.

Oh.

Raymond, let Linda
over next to the window.

Jimmy, stop
yelling for ice cream.

Raymond, that wasn't funny,

cranking up the window while
Linda had her head stuck out.

Let's make them
get out and walk.

A good idea. Stop the car.

Beav, we're moving.

I know.

Stop the car!

I'm trying to, I'm trying to.

Now you did it.

Boy, Gilbert, what
am I going to do now?

I don't know, but I know
what I'm going to do.

I'm going home.

Gilbert.

Gilbert!

Hi, Gilbert!

Hi, Gilbert.

Gilbert!

Come on, get that
heap out of here.

Let's go.

Hey, you're blocking traffic.

Come on, move it!

Come on, move it!

Let's go!

Hurry up, move it.
Let's get out of here.

Hey, Gilbert. Wait
a minute, Gilbert.

- Where you going?
- Home.

Where's the Beaver?

In the middle of the street.

In the middle of the street?

What's he doing there?

He's in your dad's car.

What?

How did all this happen?

We were taking
the kids for a ride.

- What kids?
- We were messing around,

something went wrong.
Well, see you, Wally.

Can't move it. There's no key.

How about pushing it?

Not with my back.

Beaver, what's going on here?

Boy, Wally, am I
glad you're here.

How'd you get
yourself in this mess?

Don't bawl me out now, Wally.

It was an accident.

Just get the car
back in the driveway.

I can't drive it back
in, there's no key.

Hey, wait a minute.

Dad usually puts a
spare key under the seat.

Yeah, here it is.

Boy, that was a
break. Move over.

How you doing, son?

I'll have it out of here
in a minute, mister.

Thanks a lot, Wally.

That was swell of you.

Look. A policeman.

Hello, officer.

May I see your license, please?

My license?

Well, you see, I, um... Yes?

I don't have a license.

I don't have one, either.

What's your name?

Wally. I mean, Wallace Cleaver.

Boy, Wally,

I didn't think we were old
enough to get in this much trouble.

"Order to appear, Juvenile
Division, Traffic Court,

"4:00 p.m. Wednesday.

One parent must
accompany juvenile."

If I had a choice, I'd take Mom.

Yeah, but Dad'll
be the one that'll go.

You got to sit with the judge on
one side and Dad on the other?

Yeah, that's the way it'll be.

Wow.

Hey, I think I just heard
a car drive up outside.

Let's hide.

Cut it out, Beaver. That's
not going to do any good.

We're just going to
have to tell Dad the truth.

Okay. But you
do all the talking.

This isn't like forgetting to
brush your teeth or something.

Thank you, dear.

Oh, hi, fellas.

Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

Well, this is a surprise.

Why aren't you outside?

We don't know.

You don't know?

Yes, we do.

We sort of ran into
a little bit of trouble.

Trouble?

What kind of trouble?

This kind of trouble.

What's that?

It's a traffic citation.

Yes, sir. I got a
ticket for driving.

Wally, you don't
have a driver's license.

That's why he got the ticket.

Wally, this is hard to believe.

This whole thing's a
little hard to believe.

You were driving my car.

Son, I thought we had a
very clear understanding

that you weren't
even to think of driving

until you had a
driver's license.

I didn't exactly
think about driving.

I just drove it.

Wally, this is terrible.

Driving your father's car.

But I only drove it from the
street back into the driveway.

You... Sit down.

Now, you were fooling
around with the car,

and you drove it in and
out of the driveway, huh?

No, sir. Just back in.

Wally, somebody
must've driven it out.

Yeah, I, uh... I guess
somebody must've.

I guess I'm the somebody.

Beaver, you drove
your father's car?

Well, I didn't exactly drive it.

The motor wasn't
running or anything.

I think the brake
just sorta got undone.

Yeah, Dad. Beaver and Gilbert
were just sorta fooling around.

They were pretending
to be driving,

and I guess Beaver just must've
released the brake without meaning to.

And that's how my car
got out in the street?

Yeah, Dad.

And then cars started
coming up from every direction,

and guys started yelling
and horns started honking,

and then the police came!

Boy, Dad, you
should've been there.

Yes.

Yes, I should've been there.

Hello, Clarence.

Hi, Mrs. Cleaver. Wally around?

No. Wally's at court with
his father and Beaver.

Court?

Gee, I hope Mr. Cleaver
isn't in serious trouble.

Hardly.

They're at
juvenile traffic court

over a citation Wally
got a few days ago.

Wally got a ticket?

Hey, that's pretty good

for a guy that doesn't
even have a license.

How fast was he barreling?

I believe he was barreling
about three miles an hour.

You see, our car rolled
out of our driveway,

Wally just drove it back.

Well, there's nothing to
worry about, Mrs. Cleaver.

They're very nice
to you down there.

The judge sits behind his desk

and calls you by
your first name.

Then he listens to all the
junk you have to tell him.

Then he lowers the boom on you.

Well, Clarence, you seem to know a
great deal about juvenile traffic court.

Sure. I been there
plenty of times.

You have?

Yeah. That's why I'm
walking instead of driving.

Well, I'll see you
later, Mrs. Cleaver.

Thanks for your help, Clarence.

Here it is.

Dad said he'd
meet us right here.

Hey, Wally, where's the jail?

Cut it out, Beaver.

He should be here any minute.

Hey, Wally, how come Dad has to
take off from work and come down here,

even though you're the
one that got the ticket?

'Cause they don't
want a bunch of kids

sneaking around
here getting yelled at

without their parents
knowing about it.

Kendall, I hope
you're satisfied.

Gee, Dad, don't yell at me here.

Why shouldn't I yell at you?

You lost your driver's
license, didn't you?

Gee, Dad, it
wasn't all my fault.

What do you mean by that?

Mom said I should've
gone to driving school

instead of having you teach me.

Boy, Wally, I hope
nobody yells at us like that.

I feel creepy enough
wearing my new suit.

Come on. Let's go on inside.

Maybe Dad's waiting in there.

Hey, Wally. What
are you doing here?

Hi, Barry. Hi, Steve.

I got a ticket.

What for?

For driving without a license.

Driving without a license?

Boy, Wally,
that's asking for it.

Yeah. What are you
doing, bucking for Alcatraz?

Steve and Barry Bennett.

You got to put your
ticket in the box.

Thanks.

Do I put my ticket in here?

I've never been here before.

That's right.

Then, when the judge
is ready, we'll call you.

Thank you, ma'am.

Now what could a sweet
little boy like you have done?

I'm not just a sweet little boy.

I'm 12 years old.

I hope I'm not late, boys.

It was all right, Dad. Wally
had some friends to talk to.

You did?

They were just a couple
of guys I sorta knew.

Well, don't you think we
ought to talk to someone?

That's not the
way it works, Dad.

You're just supposed
to sit here and be quiet

until somebody yells for you.

Beaver, you look
pale. What's the matter?

Gee, I don't know, Dad.

I feel sorta carsick,
and I'm not even riding.

Now, son, all you have to do
is just tell them what happened.

Wallace Cleaver, please.

That's us, boys.

Is this little fella
involved in the violation?

Oh, yes, ma'am.

If it wasn't for me, none
of us would be here.

Come on, Beaver.

Wallace Cleaver.

Do your friends
call you Wallace?

No, sir. They call me Wally.

I see.

And you're Wally's father.

Yes. And this is Theodore,
Wally's younger brother.

How are you, Theodore?

I'm fine.

Wally, you're charged
with driving a car

without a license.

How do you explain
doing a thing like that

when you know that
it's a violation of the law?

Well, sir, you see, I was
going over to Metzger's Field

to play touch football
with Eddie Haskell

and some of the other guys...

We do that every Saturday.

But Eddie had to
go to the dentist,

and then Gilbert, this
kid, he came along,

and he said, "Your brother's
out in the middle of the street."

And then I...

I see, but what has this to do
with driving your father's car?

Well, you see, Gilbert
is Beaver's friend.

That is, Theodore's friend.

Seems the two boys
were playing in the car...

Thank you very
much, Mr. Cleaver,

but I'd prefer the boy
answer his own questions.

Yes, sir.

Yeah, well, Beaver and Gilbert

were sort of messing
around in Dad's car,

and I guess the brake
must've got released.

Isn't that right, Beav?

Oh, yes, sir.

Me and Gilbert, we were
pretending we had our kids in the car,

and then, all of a
sudden, there we were.

There you were. Where?

In the middle of the street.

And when I came along, he
was blocking all kinds of traffic.

So I found the spare key, and
I drove it back in the driveway.

Then the police came along,

and I guess they
thought I was driving.

Did you tell this to
the police officer?

Oh, yes, sir.

But he said he was
for writing tickets,

and you were for listening.

Now, Wally, don't you think

that you should've asked an adult
to put that car back in the driveway?

Well, sir, when...

When all the adults are
yelling and honking at you,

you don't feel much like
asking them for any favors.

I see there may be some
extenuating circumstances,

but the fact remains

you did drive a car
without a license,

and driving a car
without a license

may result in your not getting
a license when you're of age.

I suppose, like most boys,

you're looking forward to the
time when you can get a license.

Oh, yes, sir.

It's in two months and 12 days.

And I suppose you
know, Mr. Cleaver,

that when that day comes,

you assume full responsibility
for your son's driving.

Yes, I know that.

So I hope you'll continue
to impress on him

how important it is to
observe our traffic laws.

I'm sure Wally won't do

a foolish thing like this again.

And as far as young
Theodore here is concerned,

I hope that you'll
see to it in future

that he does not
regard your car as a toy.

I'm sure he knows that
now, too, Your Honor.

Oh, yes, sir.

Next time I'll want to
pretend I'm driving something,

I'll sit in a box.

All right.

All right, I'll let you
off this time, Wally,

with a warning.

But I don't want to
see you in here again.

Oh, no, sir.

I don't want to see
you again, either, sir.

Well, I guess if that's
all, we'd better be going.

All right. Thank you very
much for coming, Mr. Cleaver.

Thank you.

Is everything all right?

Yes, yes.
Everything's all right.

Yeah, Mom. The
judge was real neat.

He didn't throw Wally
in jail or anything.

Yeah, he just warned me
to keep away from driving

until I get my license.

Well, I'm glad to hear
that everything worked out.

Seems like the guy that got the
worst of the whole deal was Dad.

Oh?

Yeah, the judge got on him.

He said that he was
responsible for what we did,

and it was up to him to see
that we didn't get in any trouble

and all that stuff.

Dad, has it always
been that way?

What do you mean, Beaver?

Fathers getting blamed
for what their kids do.

No, sir, not in my day.

When I was a kid, if I
did something wrong,

I got punished, not my father.

Of course, Dad, things are a lot
different now than they were then.

Oh?

Just how do you feel
they were different?

Well, like you said, any time
you wanted to go anywhere

when you were a
kid, you had to walk.

Right.

Sure, Dad.

How many tickets can you get

for walking without a license?

Well, Beav, I guess
you've got a point there.

Sure, Dad. Since you were a kid,

they've invented a
whole lot of new ways

for us kids to get in trouble.

I got all the stuff
ready downstairs.

Let's go get Dad.

Okay.

Hey, Dad.

Dad!

Dad?

What are you doing up so early?

Me and Wally are
going to wash your car.

Oh. Fine. Go right ahead.

But, Dad, we have to have
you to drive it out of the garage.

Well, do I have to do it now?

Well, Wally could
take the brake off,

and we could push it out.

Good, good. You do that.

Hold it, hold it!

Hold it. I'll back
it out myself.

Boy, that judge sure got
through to Dad, didn't he?

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA