Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 5, Episode 6 - Wally's Weekend Job - full transcript

Starring...

and...

- How do you do, Mrs. Cleaver?
- Hello, Eddie.

I hope I didn't drop in
too close to dinnertime.

No.

I was detained at the library.

I'm writing an
essay on Aristotle.

Well, that's quite
an undertaking.

Oh, I'm enjoying
it, Mrs. Cleaver.

He had some rather
interesting ideas, for an old man.

You know, sometimes older
people are surprisingly intelligent.



Is Wally at home?

Yes, he is. He just got
home a little while ago.

He was out looking
for a weekend job.

Oh, that certainly is
a worthwhile project,

Mrs. Cleaver.

Of course, with
my school studies,

I doubt if I'd have the time.

You see, I'm planning
to enter MIT next year.

Oh? I thought it was Annapolis.

Well, my father and I
haven't made our decision yet.

We're keeping an
eye on both schools.

Eddie, Wally is up in his room.

Thank you, Mrs. Cleaver.

Hey, Wally, do you think Mr. Gibson will
really give you that job in his drugstore?



I don't know. It's kind of
between me and Mitch Evans.

But, gee, you're a lot
better guy than Mitch Evans.

Yeah, but you're just saying
that because you're my brother.

Yeah. I guess if
I was his brother,

I'd say that he was a
lot better guy than you.

Hi, Wally.

Oh, hi, Eddie.

What are you trying
to do, be a wise guy?

What are you talking about?

Going out and
trying to get a job.

Now, how's that affected you?

Yeah, how's that affected you?

I've got enough trouble
with my pop already.

"Why aren't you a nice
guy like Wally Cleaver?

Why aren't you on the football
team like Wally Cleaver?"

Now he's going to say, "Why
don't you go out and get a job

like Wally Cleaver?"

Boy, Sam, you're
messing up my whole life.

It's pretty messy
already, Eddie.

Oh, pipe down, squirt.

Look, what do you want to go
out and get a job for anyway?

We could spend our
weekends horsing around.

Yeah, but I
figure if I get a job,

then I won't have to
ask my pop for money

every time I want some.

Boy, how square can you get?

You know, Wally,

I might just have
to give you up.

Well, I'll know tomorrow
whether I get the job or not.

Okay, desert your best friend,

but don't ever come around
asking me for any favors.

He never has.

What are you, a
lawyer or something?

Come on, Eddie. Beat it, huh?

Okay, okay.

Hey, Wally, how come
Eddie's such a creepy guy?

Because he works at it.

Hi. I heard you drive up.

Hi. How are things
on the home front?

Just fine.

Well, aren't you going to ask
me how things are at the office?

If I did, what would you say?

I'd say terrible.

Then I won't ask you.

That's very considerate of you.

Say, I saw Beaver out front.

He tells me Wally's
gone down to see

about that part-time
job at the soda fountain.

Yes, Mr. Gibson, the owner,
is making his decision today.

You know, I think Wally has
a very good chance to get it.

Well, I don't know why not.

You know, he's
very well mannered.

- He's polite.
- Yeah.

He's conscientious.

And he has his father's charm.

That's right, but maybe
Mr. Gibson will overlook that.

Wally, I'm sure proud of you
getting that job with Mr. Gibson.

Gee, thanks a lot, Dad.

That's neat, Wally,

but when do you start being a
jerk down at the soda fountain?

I start tomorrow.

Boy.

I hope the Evans boy
wasn't too disappointed

when Mr. Gibson selected
you for the job over him.

- Thank you.
- Well, no.

Mitch didn't care.

His dad's loaded.

You should consider
yourself fortunate

that you don't have
problems like that.

Hey, Wally, when you're
working down at the drugstore,

do you get to eat all the
ice cream that you want?

Sure, Beav, all I want.

Boy, oh boy.

Now just a minute, Wally.

I'm sure your employer's
not going to stand by

and watch you eat
up all the profits.

Oh, it's okay with
Mr. Gibson, Mom.

He says that he doesn't
mind seeing a new kid

eat all the junk he wants
when he first starts the job

because it makes him so
sick he hates the stuff after that.

Sounds like Mr. Gibson
knows what he's doing.

Sure, Dad, like last summer,

Glenn Elrod, on his first day,

he ate a cherry
crush, a lemon fizz,

three or four hot fudge sundaes,

a lime flip,

and a couple of
boysenberry sodas.

I gather that cured him.

I'll say.

They stretched him
out on four stools,

and his folks came
down and picked him up.

He got a job at a gas station.

Hey, Wally, how come you told Mom
and Dad we'd do the dishes tonight?

Well, because washing
glasses and stuff

are going to be part of my job.

I thought I might as well get
used to slopping around in the sink.

Better slop this one
around some more.

Well, guess that's
the last of them.

Yeah.

Um, hey, look, Beav,

I want you to help me practice
waiting on customers, too.

Okay?

How do I do that?

Well, look, why
don't you go outside

and pretend like you're a
customer coming in to get a soda.

Okay.

Oh, good after noon, sir.

What can I do for you, mister?

Beaver, stop your giggling.

Okay, but don't call me mister.

Okay, well, look. Go
out and come in again.

- Hello.
- Good afternoon. Can I help you?

Oh, here's our menu, sir.

Beaver, would you
lay off the giggling?

This isn't a menu.
It's a potholder.

Okay, so it's a potholder.

Pretend it's a menu.

All right.

Beaver, what's the matter?

I just had supper.
I'm not too hungry.

Look, Beaver, would
you just order a soda?

Okay.

Um, what flavors do you have?

Beaver, would you cut it out?

Now, look. You want a vanilla
soda with chocolate ice cream.

Now, shut up and order it.

Okay.

I want a vanilla soda
with chocolate ice cream.

Uh, yes, sir. Yes,
sir. Coming right up.

There you are, sir.

Uh, is there...

Is there anything wrong, sir?

Well, a vanilla soda's
supposed to be real neat looking.

It's got fizz water,
white stuff, and foam.

Okay. Okay.

There.

Now what's the matter?

Where's the whipped cream?

Look, Wally, they've got rules
against threatening a customer.

Yeah, but they don't have any rules
against a guy slugging his brother.

Mom! Dad! Help! He's killing me!

How about your shoes, Wally?

Oh, I'm wearing shoes, Dad.

Oh, I mean, did you polish them?

Oh. Yeah, sure, Dad.

Wally, let me see
your fingernails.

Oh, I think they're okay, Mom.

I dug in them for about an hour.

The Board of Health says
they won't let you work

if your hands are dirtier
than the rest of you.

Well, they look pretty good.

Hey, Wally, you want
me to go down with you

in case you get sick
from eating junk?

No, that's okay, Beav.
I think I'll be all right.

Well, good luck, Wally.

Give your employer
our best, and don't forget.

The customer's always right.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure, Dad.

Well, I'll see you.

- Bye. Good luck.
- Bye.

Boy, I sure wish I was old
enough to get a neat job like Wally.

Well, Beaver, I suppose
working in a soda fountain

does sound pretty glamorous,

but believe me, it's not
all it's cracked up to be.

Any time you're
serving the public,

you're bound to have troubles.

There you go.

Um, can I get you
guys something else?

Um, do you want
something else, Julie?

Hm?

Oh, this is fine,
Wally, just fine.

Oh, Wally, you make
the yummiest malts ever.

Oh, gee, thanks.

You haven't even tasted it yet.

Oh, I know.

Hello, Richard? It's me.

No, it's not me
Gilbert. It's me Beaver.

Hey, guess what?

My brother got a job
down at the soda fountain,

and he gets to eat
all the junk he wants

until he gets sick.

Sure I'll take you down there.

Why shouldn't he
give us free sodas?

He's my brother, isn't he?

Yeah. Well, I guess
you could bring Gilbert,

but we better not bring
too many guys the first time.

Beaver, will you
get off the phone?

I have to call the market.

Okay, Mom.

Hey, Richard, listen.

I've got to get off the
phone. My mom wants it.

I'll see you.

I think he looks cuter
in his cap and coat

than he does in his
letterman's sweater.

I was just thinking
the very same thing.

Hey, what do you say, chicks?

Hi, Eddie. Lumpy.

I'll be with you in a minute.

Let's get with it,
boy. We're in a hurry.

Okay, what do you guys want?

What kind of ice cream
do you have, boy?

Oh, the usual.

Look, kid, I asked you
what kind you have.

Well, vanilla,
chocolate, strawberry.

And?

Rocky road, peach, maple
walnut, black raspberry,

mocha, pecan, banana,

eggnog, peppermint,
and pistachio.

What was that again?

Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry,

rocky road, peach, maple
walnut, black raspberry,

mocha, pecan, banana,
eggnog, peppermint, and pistachio.

Very good.

Let me think it over, and
I'll get back to you, boy.

Hi, gang. Hi.

- Well, hi, Ann.
- Oh, hi, Ann.

Hi.

Say, Jan, I thought
you were on a diet.

We all are, a diet
of Wally Cleaver.

Wally Cleaver? Oh.

Ew.

Mary Ellen, what time's
your slumber party tonight?

I told the girls to
drop by at about 8:00.

Okay, see you then.

- Okay, bye.
- Bye, Ann.

8:00, huh?

I might just swing by
and give you girls a break.

You better not.

Mary Ellen's father said

if he caught a boy within
a mile of his house tonight,

he'd kill him.

Ha.

And that goes double
for you, Eddie Haskell.

Why, he refers to you as that
"over stimulated adolescent."

Okay, I was going to pick up
the tab for the whole counter,

but if that's the way
you want to play it,

forget it.

That's telling them, Edward.

Oh, clerk.

I've changed my mind. I
think I'll have a sandwich.

What kind?

What kind have you got?

Cheese, ham, tuna fish,

roast beef, egg salad,

salami, liverwurst,
and peanut butter.

No, that doesn't hit me.

- It may in a minute.
- Huh?

Look, Eddie, if you want to come
in here and order something, okay,

but if you're going to
be the kind of wise guy...

How do you do, Mr. Gibson?

Hello, Eddie.

I was just telling my
friend Clarence here

what a good selection you've
made in your new employee.

Thank you.

Uh, make that two dishes of
vanilla ice cream, please, Wally.

If you don't mind, Edward,

I'd prefer pasticcio.

Oh, of course, Clarence.

Make that one vanilla
and one pistachio, please.

Just a minute, Wally.

First, let's let him pay

the 50 cents he owes from
the last time he was in here.

Hey, Eddie, what
about our ice cream?

Do you have any money, Lumpy?

Gee, no.

Then don't be such a wise apple.

Hey, Eddie?

You know something?

I think those girls were
making sport of us.

It's all because of that Wally.

The whole thing is his fault,

getting that job.

Yeah. Not only has he
got the neatest job in town.

He's got all the girls.

You know, Lump, it's
about time he was cooled off.

What are you going to do,

enter his picture in that
Huckleberry Hound contest again?

Mary Ellen's
slumber's party tonight.

For what I'm thinking,

it couldn't have
come at a better time.

Honey, I was just thinking.

What?

How good a dish of ice cream
would taste right about now.

No, dear.

What you were
really thinking is,

"I wonder how Wally's
getting along at his new job,

and let's go down
and check up on him."

Yes, dear, that's what
I was really thinking.

Hey, Mom, is it okay

if me and Richard and Gilbert
go down to the drugstore

and see Wally and
maybe have a soda?

Well, I guess it is.

Matter of fact your father and I
were thinking about the same thing.

Oh, now, dear, let's
not make if family night.

We'd embarrass Wally.

Well, honey, maybe you're right.

Then, can I go?

I guess so.

First, come on, let
me see your hands.

Gee, Mom, the Board of Health

only makes the guy
that's serving you be clean.

They don't make the guy
that's eating it be clean.

Well, I guess they're all right.

- So long, Dad.
- So long, Beav.

So long, Mom. See you later.

Bye.

Ward?

What if we just
walked by the drugstore

and sort of peaked in on Wally?

Oh, no, dear. I...

I just wouldn't feel right
spying on him his first night.

When would you feel
right about spying on him?

Maybe tomorrow night?

Well, how you guys doing?

Real neat, Wally.

Yeah, these are a lot better

than the soap-sud
sodas you made at home.

Thanks a lot.

Well, I'm done.

- Me, too.
- Thanks a lot, Wally.

Hey wait. Wait a
minute, you guys.

How about the check?

What check?

You mean we're supposed to pay?

Beav,

You're the guy who
said to come down here

and get a neat
soda off your brother.

Yeah, but I didn't exactly
say we'd get it for nothing.

Gee, when my brother was
working for the man with the ponies,

my brother gave
us all rides for free.

Yeah, but ponies are
different from ice cream

because when you ride a pony,

you don't use him up.

Come on, you guys.

You better hand it over
before I call the police.

There's my quarter.

All I got is six cents.

Yeah, and all I've
got is 11 cents.

Look, you guys, if...

Okay, you guys,
I'll let it go this time,

but, look, don't you guys
come around and try again, huh?

Boy, Beaver,

the next time my brother
works at the pony ride,

I'm going to make
him charge you double.

Hey, Lumpy, you sure your
mother and father aren't around?

Nah, they went to a movie.

Your father really took
your mother to a movie?

Yeah, she dragged him to
one of those goofy love pictures,

you know, the kind where the guy is always
telling the girl what an angel she is,

biting her ear
and all that stuff.

Boy.

Yeah. Daddy didn't want to go.

He says, for a whole
week after a picture like that,

all Mom does is glare at him.

Hey, we better get
going on my plan

and start rehearsing.

Yeah.

Gibson's drugstore.

Hello, this is Mr. Rogers,
Mary Ellen's father.

Oh, yes. What can we do for you?

Uh, I was won... Here, you dope.

Mr. Rogers?

I know you're open
till 8:00 tonight,

and I was wondering

if you could send your
fountain boy Wally Cleaver

by our place with some
ice cream on his way home.

He lives right around
the corner from us.

Well, of course.

How much would you like?

Uh, six quarts.

Six quarts?

Yes, you see, my daughter's
having a slumber party tonight.

You better make it
four quarts of vanilla

and two quarts of pistachio.

Yeah. Thank you, Mr. Gibson.

Beautiful. Beautiful.

Oh, this is beautiful.

Would you pack up
four quarts of vanilla

and two quarts of
pistachio ice cream

and deliver them to Mr. Roger's
house as soon as we close?

Sure thing, Mr. Gibson.

I live right around the
corner from the Rogers.

I can drop it off
on my way home.

Good.

Wally Cleaver.

Julie, Betty, Helen,
it's Wally Cleaver.

- Hi, Wally.
- Hi.

Why, Wally Cleaver,
what are you doing here?

Well, I just dropped by...

Girls! Girls! Wally's here.

Wally Cleaver's here.

Wally's here.
Can you believe it?

Hi. Um, where do you want
me to put the ice cream?

- Well, ice cream?
- Ice cream.

I didn't know anything
about any ice cream.

Well, your father called
down and ordered it.

Maybe it's supposed
to be a surprise.

Oh, it must be.
Come on in, Wally.

You can put it on the table.

Golly, a boy at a slumber party.

Oh, I bet this never
happened before.

Mary Ellen!

- What's he doing here?
- Oh, Daddy...

I warned you, Mary Ellen, about
boys showing up around here.

- But, sir...
- Now, you just move on, and fast.

But, sir, here's
the ice cream...

Ice cream? I didn't order any
ice cream, and you know it.

I'm wise to the tricks you punks
pull when these girls have a party.

Pick that up from there.

Quit tarrying. I'm going
to call your dad, too.

- But if you just...
- No back talk.

- Just out. Out. Out.
- Yes, sir.

No back talk. That's all.

What's the matter, Walter?
Didn't you have an invitation?

He forgot to wear his pajamas.

I should've known you
creeps were behind this.

Wally, that is terrible.

It's simply terrible.

I never heard anything so mean.

One of the dirtiest
tricks I ever heard of,

but I'll tell you what.

Before we talk about it,

let's at least make the
best out of the ruins, huh?

I'll get some bowls.

Boy, I don't even
know if I can eat it.

I thought I heard
you come in, Wally.

What happened? Did you get sick?

He got sick, Beaver,

but not the way you think.

Boy, ice cream.

Did Mr. Gibson give
you free samples?

Not exactly, Beav, but
you may as well sit down.

This is one time
you can eat your fill.

Oh, Ward, look.

It's all melted.

Well, they're all the same.

Boy, this is the gushiest
ice cream I ever saw.

Wally, where are you going?

Oh, just out, Mom.

But, Wally...

Boy.

Do we have any straws, Mom?

Oh, hi, Wally.

Hi, Lumpy.

I just wanted to
ask you something.

Do you really like pistachio?

Um, yeah, sure,
it's my favorite.

Well, good.

Daddy!

You're a good kid.

You owe me $3.60, too.

Oh, Wally, I'd like to
talk to you a minute.

Sure, Dad.

Is it about fixing Eddie
and Lumpy last night?

Uh, yeah. Yeah.

You shouldn't yell
at him too much, Dad.

You always say we
shouldn't let food go to waste.

I'm not going to yell at anyone

because, Wally, I can understand
the way you felt last night.

As a matter of fact, under
the same circumstances

I just might have done
the same thing myself.

Gee, Dad, a guy never
thinks of his own father

throwing ice cream.

Well, son, just
because I understand it,

doesn't mean I
condone what you did,

but the thing that concerns
your mother and me, Wally,

is this is the first time that
either of us can ever remember

that you lost your
temper to that extent.

Yeah, boy.

I really went ape, didn't I?

That means he flipped, Dad.

Son, we just want to be sure

that you don't make a practice
of losing your self-control.

Yeah, I think I know
what you mean, Dad,

because when I was
thinking about what I did today,

I got kind of a, I don't know,

kind of a creepy feeling.

Well, I'm glad to hear that

because I think maybe
that creepy feeling

was a pretty good sign.

Dad was pretty nice.
Wasn't he, Wally?

Yeah.

You think, way down underneath
he was really mad at you?

No, I think Dad
was the kind of mad

parents get at their kids

when they really
care a lot about them.

You know, when I heard
you took that gooey ice cream

and pasted Eddie
with it, I got mad.

You got mad?

Sure. Because I was in
bed and didn't get to see it.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
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