Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 5, Episode 36 - A Night in the Woods - full transcript

[Announcer] Starring...

and...

Beaver, for Pete's
sakes, what's all this?

Gilbert's father is taking
Whitey and Alan and me

on this camping
trip this weekend,

and I'm just getting
my stuff ready.

All this stuff?

You're not even going to be up
there long enough to use a third of it.

Gee, Wally, that's half the
fun of going on a camping trip,

taking along a lot of
stuff that you'll never use.

Beaver, are you
taking all of this?



Yeah, that's what I
asked him, too, Dad.

You've even got your
Monopoly game there.

Sure, Dad, there's
no television up there.

We've got to have
something to do at night.

Boy, Beaver, some
camper you are.

I bet you'll pitch your tent

by the main highway

so you won't miss
the ice cream truck.

Ha ha ha.

We're going to have a neat time.

We've been planning
it for a whole month.

- Beaver?
- Yes, Mom.

Beaver, I hate to tell you this,

but Gilbert's
father just called up



and, well, he's terribly sorry.

He can't take you boys
on the camping trip.

Oh, boy.

Every time you get parents
mixed up in something,

it always goes wrong.

Poor Beaver.

I've never seen
him so disappointed.

Yeah, I know.

I wish I could take them,

but Tom Clifton's
flying in this weekend

from the home office.

We'll be having
our usual meetings.

Well, maybe something will
happen between now and Saturday.

Yeah, like maybe all Beaver's
friends will get the chickenpox

and can't go anyway.

Gee, Dad.

It's a lot better not
going because you're sick

than not going because one of
the parents double-crossed you.

Wally, if Gilbert's father
could've taken him,

he would have.

Sure, Dad.

I'm sure Gilbert's father
had a very good reason.

So am I,

but knowing kids,
they'll never believe it.

[doorbell rings]

Oh, hello, Whitey, Alan.

Can we see Beaver, Mr. Cleaver?

Sure, come on in. He's upstairs.

Say, fellows, I was sorry to hear
about your camping trip being called off.

My dad said he could take us,

but his sinus bothers
him in the woods.

My dad said he'd take us,

but he has to
work this Saturday.

Yes, well, unfortunately,

I have to work Saturday, too.

Yes, Mr. Cleaver.

It probably happened
just like it did with my dad.

This is the first Saturday

my dad has had to
work in two years.

Well, yes. Yeah.

Where's Gilbert?

He's home throwing a bit fit
about his father not taking us.

Maybe it'll work.

No, he's going to a wedding,

and no kid can throw a big
enough fit to cancel a wedding.

Hey, what if we got one
of our moms to take us?

That's a crummy idea.

They keep telling you
to wash up all the time.

Yeah, and they're
real fussy, too.

And I'll bet they even
make us eat off dishes.

Yeah, but your dad lets you
eat stuff right out of the can.

The neatest camping
trip we ever went on

is when Whitey's dad
and my dad took us.

Yeah, they stayed in a
tent all day playing cards,

and didn't stick
their heads out once.

Hey, Beaver, how about
your brother Wally taking us?

Yeah, he'd be
better than nothing.

No, I don't think he'd do it.

Ask him in front
of your parents,

put them on the spot.

Yeah, he can't say
no in front of them.

It'll make him look like a rat.

Where's Wally?

I think he's in the kitchen.

Thanks, Mom.

Wonder what's up.

Search me.

Hi, Wally.

Hi.

What are you staring at?

Haven't you ever seen
anybody drink milk before?

Yeah, but you drink it neater
than any guy I've ever seen.

Well, what do you want anyway?

Nothing Wally, could
I ask you something?

Sure. Go ahead.

I mean, could I ask you
something in the living room?

What's wrong with
asking me here?

Nothing, but this is just
one of those questions

I'd rather ask in
the living room.

It's okay with me.

I was going in there anyway.

Here they come.

Act like you're not interested.

- Oh, hi, fellows.
- What's up?

I don't know.

Beaver wanted to
ask me something,

and he's making
a big deal out of it.

I'm not making a
big deal out of it.

Well, what do you want
to ask your brother?

Nothing.

I just want to ask him,
"Does he like me?"

Now, what am I going to do?

You're my brother, aren't you?

I have to like you.

Dad, when you like somebody,

you want to do favors and
nice things for them, don't you?

Yeah, I suppose you do.

Look, Beaver, you're
wasting your time.

I'm not taking you and
any of those little creeps

on any camping trip.

Gee, Wally, how did you
know I was going to ask you?

I knew you were up to something
when you told me how neat I drank milk.

See, Dad? I don't think
he likes me after all.

Oh, I'm sure he does, Beaver.

Then how come the rat
won't take me camping?

Look, Beaver, you're just
trying to put me on the spot here

in front of Mom and Dad.

Well, Wally, do you have any
other plans for the weekend?

Not yet. It's only Thursday,

and if you call
them up too soon,

they think you're anxious.

Who thinks you're anxious?

Well, you know,
uh, girls and like that.

Wally, if you don't have any
other plans for the weekend,

I think it would be very nice

if you'd take your brother
and his friends camping.

But gee, Mom.

[Ward] You know, son.
Your mother has a point,

and it would be a
very nice gesture.

I don't know.

Come on down,
guys. It's all set.

Okay, Wally?

Yeah, you really boxed me in,

but it's okay.

Boy, this is neat.

Yeah, Wally, you're
a neat guy all right.

Are you boys sure your
folks will let you go with Wally?

Sure, Mr. Cleaver.

My mom's always saying,

"Whitey, I just hope
you grow up to be

as nice a boy as
that Wally Cleaver.

Wally, that's very nice
of your mother to say that.

Yeah, the only other
big guy she knows

is Eddie Haskell.

[Eddie] Hey, Wally.

Oh, hi, guys.

Hang on to your
Stetson, Gretchen.

Wait till you hear the news.

Dolls, dolls, dolls, dolls.

Lumpy and I got a couple
of real honeys lined up.

Where did you guys meet them?

Uh, we haven't met them yet.

Actually we haven't
been introduced,

but we've seen them.

They're Mary Denton's cousins.

She's getting us
a date with them.

Yeah, all we have to do is
get you to go out with Mary.

Oh, it's one of
those deals, huh?

Look, Mary Denton's not so bad.

I know, but when is all this?

Sunday afternoon.

We're meeting them
at Mary's house.

They're giving us
lunch and everything.

Sunday.

I can't make it then anyway.

What's the matter? You don't
have another date, do you?

I've got to take my little
brother and some of his friends

up to the mountains for an
overnight camping trip Saturday.

You mean you're running a
day nursery up in the woods?

Look, Davy Crockett,

you can get out of that.

No, I can't, Eddie.

I already told
them I'd take them.

Let me handle it.

I'll figure something
to get you off the hook.

Boy, a night in the
woods with those monsters

and you'll be a couch case.

Now, look, Eddie. I already...

Hold it, Maisie.

Beaver! Hey, Beaver!

Good morning, Gilbert.

Hey, what's this
about you and the guys

going camping this weekend?

Yeah, we're going
up to Mount Grover.

Wally's taking us.

Mount Grover?

You're not going up there.

That place is condemned.

Condemned?

Yeah, that's what
he said, didn't he?

What's the matter?

Eddie says Mount
Grover's condemned.

Yeah, didn't you hear?

On account of the
bears attacking people.

The bears?

Great big ones.

Yeah. The other night this
old grizzly wandered into camp,

and the two kids were
in their sleeping bags.

The bear thought they were
a couple of large hotdogs.

It was brutal.

Cut it out, Eddie.

I'm taking the guys camping
no matter what you say.

He was just
making that stuff up.

Wasn't he, Wally?

Of course he was.

Yeah, I knew it all the time.

Look, Wally, I was...

Eddie, I can't make it Sunday,

and that's that.

Come on, Beav.

Hey... Hey, wait a minute, guys.

I forgot my history
book. I'll be right back.

Boy, that sure
messed up our date.

Don't worry, Lump.

Wally will be back here
Sunday for our date.

What makes you so sure?

Because Saturday night,

you and I are going to scare
them kids and their leader

clear off the side
of that mountain.

Yeah.

Wally, you be sure and
keep a good eye on the boys.

Oh, don't worry, Dad.

I'd be just as embarrassed
if one of those kids

got lost in the woods or
broke his leg as you would.

Gilbert's mother just called.

His father's on the way here.

Yeah, he's going to drive
us to where we start hiking.

Come on, Wally. Let's
go out and wait in front.

Uh, Beaver, just a minute.

I want you to remember that
Wally is going to be in charge,

and you boys are to mind him.

- Do you understand?
- Yes, Dad.

You can have a lot of
fun camping in the woods,

but you also have to be careful,

and Wally's had a great deal
more experience than you've had.

Yeah, Dad, I know that.

He's had poison oak five times,

and I've only had it once.

Okay, guys, hold it.

This is where
we're going to camp.

Halt, men. Hold the wagon.

- Hold the wagon.
- Hold the wagon.

Hold the wagon.

Some of you guys help
set up the sleeping bags,

and somebody go
down and get water.

I want to set up
the sleeping bags.

I want to set up
the sleeping bags.

- I want to get the water.
- No, I want to get the water.

I want to help Wally.

No, I want to help
Wally. He's my brother.

Look, you guys, if you
don't stop being so helpful,

I'm going to clobber you.

Now, Whitey, you and Alan
go down and get the water,

and, Gilbert, you and Beaver can
help me set up the sleeping bags.

Boy, Wally, this is neat.

You yell at us as
good as my father.

Boy, this is a neat supper.

How come stuff tastes
better in the woods

than it does in the restaurant?

'Cause in the restaurant
you have to use manners.

That takes the
fun out of eating.

What do I do with this one?

Just put it in the pan
with the rest of them.

Doesn't dirt have germs on it?

No, this is clean dirt.

Dirt only has germs on it
when it's been around people.

This is close enough.

Their camp is just
over there a ways.

Boy, I don't know if that
hike's worth all this trouble.

It'll be worth it.

Those little creeps and Wally

will be running for three days.

Yeah.

I hope the batteries
are okay in that thing.

You worried?

Listen.

[bear growling]

Boy, Eddie, that's neat.
Where did you get it?

At the record store.

Jimmy And Jenny Visit The Zoo.

It's got some great
wild animal sounds...

Growling and
screaming and that stuff.

[animal yipping]

Me Tarzan, you Jane.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

You nuts.

Hold it.

Nobody's stirring.

Daniel Boone and the
little creeps are all asleep.

This is going to stampede
them in 19 different directions.

Okay, when I
give you the signal,

turn it on.

Okay, now.

[Young Girl] Golly, Jimmy,
won't it be fun visiting the zoo?

Not there, you dummy.

I told you where to start it.

I couldn't see too good.

[bear growling]

We'll give him a
little bit at a time

to make it seem real.

You know, Eddie,
I've been thinking.

Yeah, what have you
been thinking about, Clyde?

What if the little
guys get so scared

that they run off into
the woods or something?

Well, great. Then their
noble leader rounds them up,

dries their tears,
and takes them home.

That way Wally will be
home Sunday for our date.

- I know, but...
- They haven't heard nothing yet.

[bear growling]

[wild cat snarls]

Now I'll turn up the volume.

[cat growling]

[cat growling continues]

What's that, Wally?

I don't know. It sounds
like some kind of an animal.

I don't think it's
anything to worry about.

[growling]

We got them
shivering in their boots.

Let's toy with them, man.

Turn it off, Lump.

[wolf howls]

[barking]

Lump, I told you to turn it off.

I did.

Stop clowning. I heard it.

What?

[wolf howling]

That. Now, will you
cut it out, Lump?

[louder howling]

Oh, that was for
real, and it's close.

Hey, who's out there?

Stop! Hey, it's
a couple of guys.

Come back here, you.

I think I saw a bear.

Me, too. A big fat one.

Boy, Wally, we're sure
glad we have you up here.

Yeah, we sure are.

You're not afraid of
anything, are you, Wally?

Of course he's not.

Are you, Wally?

Of course not.

Now, you guys be quiet

and get back in your
sleeping bags, all of you.

[wolf howling]

[bushes rustling]

Hey, Wally, don't
clobber me. It's Clarence.

Lump, what are you doing here?

Eddie and I came up
here to scare you guys.

You know those animal
noises you heard a while ago?

Well, we were
the ones that did it.

Oh, so that's it, huh?

Hey, guys, that's not a bear.

It's just dumb dumpy Lumpy.

And you guys were
afraid of the noises.

Not me. I knew it
was a fake all the time.

Me, too.

Boy, what a crummy trick, Lump.

Yeah, but you've got to
forget about that now, Wally.

We've got to do
something about Eddie.

What's the matter with Eddie?

When we were running
through the woods,

we couldn't even see
where we were going.

All of a sudden Eddie
went flying over a cliff.

Over a cliff?

Eddie what?

Did he get killed?

Well, he didn't get
hurt or anything.

He hit some bushes and
stuff on the way down,

but now he's stuck on
a ledge and can't get off.

Well, let's get out there.

Hey, Wally, can us guys go, too?

Okay, look,

why don't you get
that rope over there

and get a couple
flashlights, too, huh?

[Beaver] Okay, Wally.

What did you guys have to
go through all this jazz for?

Look, Wally, if you had as much
trouble getting dates as me and Eddie do,

you'd have done the same thing.

Careful, don't anybody slip.

He's down there.

[Wally] Eddie?

Is that you, Wally?

It ain't Tuesday Weld.

How's it going, Eddie?

Not so good. I
must've fell 100 feet.

Hey, Eddie, make
a noise like a lion

so we'll know where
you are. [laughs]

[Wally] Cut it out, Alan.

Here, give me the rope, Beav.

Don't worry, Eddie.
We'll get you out.

Help, a snake!

It's only the rope.

[boys laughing]

Oh.

Okay, keep lowering it.

Come on, keep lowering it.

That's as far as it will go.

It's too short.

Anybody got another rope?

- Not me.
- That's all I brought.

Come on, Wally, do something.

I'm cold, and I'm thirsty.

Throw him a blanket.

Throw him a cup of coffee.

Hey, Lump?

You know, we're going to
have to get the forest ranger.

We passed a forest
station on the way up here.

Yeah, I know where it is.

It's just off the main trail.

Look, why don't you go
down and get them, huh?

Gee, Wally, I don't want to
go down there all by myself.

Hey, one of you little
kids come with me.

Okay, I'll go with you.

Hold his hand, Alan.

Now, cut that out.

Come on, Wally. It's
awful cold down here.

Okay, Eddie, we'll go back
to camp and get you a blanket.

Lumpy went to get
the forest ranger.

You aren't going to
leave me alone, are you?

Okay, we'll leave Whitey here.

Not that Whitey. He'll
throw rocks at me.

[laughs]

Okay, we'll leave Gilbert.

Don't go away, Eddie.

Talk to me, will you, Gilbert?

Okay. What'll I say?

Say anything.

All right.

You're a dumb, stupid
creep and a big wise guy.

Have you got your
legs in the two loops?

Yes, sir, I'm all ready.

Be careful, sir,
when you pull me up.

- You ready?
- [Wally] Yes, sir.

Okay, easy now.

There you are,
sonny, safe and sound.

Thank you, Ranger.

I could've climbed up by myself,

but I was going to give
the Rover Boys a scare.

I really shook
you guys, didn't I?

I want to tell you
something, young man.

You might think
you're being funny,

but this happens to
be a very serious thing.

Now, I don't quite know how
you got on that ledge down there,

but things like
this don't happen

to boys who are alert
and careful in the woods,

and if your friends
here hadn't been around,

you could've been down
there for a long, long time,

and you're also fortunate

that you didn't wind up at
the bottom of the canyon.

Yes, sir.

And I'd advise you
from now on to watch it.

I want you to come
along with me.

I need some more
information for my report.

Yes, sir.

Is it all right if my friend
Clarence comes along, too?

That's all right.

Thank you, sir.

And let this be a
lesson to you fellows.

Thanks for your help, son.

Yes, sir.

All right, guys, let's
get back to camp.

We'll pack up in the
morning and start for home.

- So soon?
- I want to stay longer.

I don't want to go.

Gee, Wally, we
thought in the morning

you could take us
over to Wagner's cave

to look for old, dead
bones and stuff.

- [together] Yeah, that would be neat.
- Will you do it?

Okay, guys, I'll take you,

but first let's get
a little sleep, huh?

Boy, thanks a lot, Wally.

Thanks, Wally.

You know, for little creeps,

you guys aren't so bad,

especially by comparison.

Come on, let's go.

Well, Wally, I suppose by now

Eddie's the laughingstock
of the high school, huh?

Gee, no, Dad.

You know Eddie.

By the time he got
his version around,

he came out a hero.

A hero?

Yeah.

He was telling everybody

how the ranger
shook hands with him

for being so brave.

Boy, what a big mouth.

You know, he was even thinking

of charging everybody 25 cents

to take them out and
show them the ledge.

Are you going to rat on him
to the guys at school, Wally?

Heck, no. It's no use.

Everybody's wise to
Eddie except Eddie.

Do you know? In a
way, that's very sad.

Yeah. You know something?

When he was down on that ledge,

I almost felt sorry for him.

You did?

Yeah, until we pulled him up

and he started telling the
ranger how to run the forest.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA