Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 5, Episode 35 - Sweatshirt Monsters - full transcript

[Announcer] Starring...

and...

[door opens, closes]

What's going on?
What's all the racket?

- Beaver!
- Hi, Mom. I'm in a hurry.

Yeah, well, but,
Beaver, just a minute.

Well, I gotta get something.

There's no big guys
chasing him or anything.

- Well, it's hard to tell
what's going on.
- [footsteps]

I got it. I got it.

- What have you got?
- Some money out of my bank.



Beaver, we don't
want to be nosy,

but would you mind
telling us what's going on?

Oh, sure, Dad. I gotta go someplace
and see somebody about something.

[door closes]

Crazy, huh, Dad?

Yeah, crazy.

- Well, it's about time, Beav.
- Did you get the money?

Yeah, I got it.

Hey, it smells like mothballs.

That's 'cause I had it hidden
with my winter underwear.

Come on. Let's go.

[Alan] Hey, we're
lucky they got some left.

[Richard] Boy,
are they ever neat.

Look at the fangs on that one.



Yeah, Richard, and look at
the blood all over that one.

I want the one with
the three eyeballs.

Well, let's get in there.

Wally, have you any
idea why your brother

was so excited this afternoon?

Gee, I don't know.

He's going into
the eighth grade.

I guess a thing like that
alone would be enough

to make a kid go off his rocker.

Well, I don't think he'll
spend that money foolishly.

I must say he's pretty
shrewd about what he buys.

You mean like the time he
chipped in with the other boys

and came home with a burro?

Oh, well, that was an exception.

Usually, he's pretty
careful with his money.

Yeah, especially when
I want to borrow some.

Boy, you know, they make a
big mistake in grammar school

when they teach those
little kids about interest.

Boy, mine's the best one.
It's the most gruesome.

It is not. Mine is uglier.

Oh, yeah? I've
got the ugliest face.

Whitey, we're talking
about the sweatshirts.

Hey, I got an idea.

Why don't we all wear
them to school tomorrow?

Hey, that's a neat idea.

Boy, will we spook
the girls with these.

Gee, you guys think
we should do that?

- Well, why not?
- Well, if we wear them
to school,

we're liable to get clobbered.

Oh, we won't get clobbered
if we all wear them.

Hey, Alan, I'll wear
mine if you wear yours.

Okay, Whitey. And I'll
wear mine if you wear yours.

I'll wear mine if you
guys wear yours.

Well, Beav?

Well, gee, I don't know.

Boy, there's always somebody

that spoils everything
by chickening out.

Well... Well, okay.

I'll wear mine if you
guys will wear yours.

That's the way to go, Beav.

We all wear our sweatshirts
tomorrow to school.

Let's shake on it.

We'll all meet at school and
go to the classroom together.

- Right?
- [together] Right.

What's she making a face for?

I don't know. I guess she
got a good look at Whitey.

[laughing]

Wally, you can put
the chairs at the table,

and we can eat as soon
as your brother gets home.

Okay, Mom.

Hi.

Beaver, what in
the world is that?

What's what?

That thing you're wearing.

Oh, you noticed it, huh?

Boy, Beaver, is that what
you ran off and bought?

Yeah. I had to hurry up.

I wanted to get there
before they were all gone.

Yes, I imagine there
was quite a run on those.

Beaver, how much
did you pay for that?

Only 3.75.

And the face is guaranteed
not to run when you wash it.

Oh, that's good to know.

Well, all the guys got one.

Boy, Dad, what goofy ideas kids
come up with these days, huh?

Yes, Wally. That's about as
bad as when you and all your pals

were getting those
Mohawk haircuts.

Yeah, but I didn't
actually get one.

Yeah, I know. I
stopped Eddie Haskell

with the clippers just in time.

Beaver, you better
go upstairs and wash.

Okay, Mom.

Well, isn't that silly, throwing
money away on something like that?

Reminds me of a few years back.

Hmm?

When you used to call on
me in your yellow rain slicker

with all those witty
sayings written on the back.

"Oh, you nasty man,"
and "Wanna buy a duck?"

Well, at least I didn't have
a crush on Edgar Bergen.

Rough day ahead?

No. As a matter of
fact, I'm looking forward

to a very serene
and orderly day,

which probably means there'll
be one crisis after another.

How about you?

Oh, I'm meeting Marge
downtown. We're going shopping.

The checkbook's in the
bottom drawer of my desk.

Oh, no. We're just
going to look around.

Two women just looking
around, not buying anything?

In the bottom drawer?

In the bottom drawer.

- Good morning, Wally.
- Hi.

Everything's ready.
You can sit down.

Good morning, Beaver.
You can sit... Just a minute.

Aren't you forgetting something?

- What's that, Mom?
- This is a school day.

Yeah, I know it.

Well, you certainly aren't
wearing that to school.

- Well, sure I am, Mom.
- Oh, no, you aren't, young man.

But, Dad, the other guys
are gonna wear theirs.

I don't care what the
other guys are wearing.

You're going to school
wearing something civilized.

But golly, Dad.

I don't care, Beaver.
Right after breakfast,

you're going upstairs
and put on a shirt.

Yes, sir.

Beaver, would you mind turning
your back while you're eating?

You know, those three eyeballs
don't help a guy's appetite.

Come on, Beav.

You better change
your shirt and get going.

It's getting late.

Wally, I gotta
wear this to school.

Look, Beav, you heard
what Mom and Dad said.

Yeah, Wally, but Whitey and
Alan and Richard and me...

See, we all made this pact

that we were gonna wear
our sweatshirts to school,

and we even shook on it.

I know those kind of deals.

Once Eddie and
Lumpy and I made a deal

to all get tattooed.

Then we went down to Main Street

and watched the guy
working through the window,

and Lumpy fainted, so
we forgot the whole thing.

Boy, Wally, you'd think
Dad would understand.

He's always telling us we
should keep our promises.

Yeah, but that depends
on what kind of a promise

this guy's making.

- What do you mean?
- Well, like,

if it's a promise that your
parents make you promise,

then you gotta
go through with it.

But if it's just one of
those goofy kid promises,

then you might
as well forget it.

Wally, does anybody
understand kids?

Yeah, some of those guys who
write books understand them.

Except they're mostly ladies.

- I'm leaving now, Mom.
- Have a good day, dear.

Young man, just what
do you think you're doing?

Well, Mom, I...

You take that hideous
thing off right this minute.

But, Mom, all the
guys are wearing them.

If all the boys go to school
wearing long white beards,

do you have to
do the same thing?

If I had a long white beard,

I wouldn't have to go to school.

I'd be in the circus.

You get right upstairs.

- Okay, Mom.
- Upstairs.

- Okay, don't hit me, Mom.
- Get upstairs.

- Don't hit me, Mom.
- You...

Good-bye, Mom and Dad.

Now, Beaver,
that's more like it.

Yeah. Well, I gotta
go. I'm sort of in a hurry.

Hey, Richard, how come you
didn't wear your sweatshirt?

Well... Well, I was gonna, Alan,

but then I decided,
why be a creep?

Yeah. Me, too.

Hey, here comes Whitey.
He doesn't have his on either.

Whitey, what happened
to your sweatshirt?

Well, I was gonna wear it,

but my mom said if I
did, she'd clobber me.

Yeah. Well, that's
what happened to me.

Yeah. Me, too.

But it was my dad
that caught me.

Did he get sore?

Boy, did he. You
should've seen him.

His face looked worse than
the one in the sweatshirt.

[school bell ringing]

Hey, I wonder what
happened to Beaver.

Aw, he's probably in
the classroom already.

But what if he's still wearing
his monster sweatshirt?

Nah, he won't.

His parents are a whole
lot stricter than ours.

[chattering]

All right, class.
Class, come to order.

Now, before I take up the roll,

I'd like to make
an announcement.

[students giggling]

The library this
week will be closed...

[laughter]

- [tapping]
- Class.

Class, class.

All right, Theodore.

You've succeeded in
disrupting the entire class.

Now may we have
your cooperation?

Oh, yes, sir.

Well, we're waiting.

Oh.

Theodore, that
isn't what I meant.

Will you please stand?

Yes, sir.

Now take it off.

What?

Well, that ridiculous sweater
or whatever it is you call it.

Take it off so that we
can resume our studies.

Yes, sir.

But I don't think you'd
want me to do that.

Why not?

Because I got
nothing under it but me.

- [class laughing]
- All right, Theodore.

Just take yourself down
to the principal's office.

- Yes, sir. But...
- Without any further discussion.

Yes, sir.

Hello. Mr. Cleaver,
please. This is Mrs. Cleaver.

[intercom buzzes]

Hello. Oh, yeah, June.

Ward, I was just
leaving the house

when I got a phone call
from the principal's office

of Beaver's school.

Yes. Well, they want one of us

to come down there and talk
to them as soon as we can.

Well, do you have any
idea what it's all about?

No. But it must be serious.
They were so insistent.

Honey, I'm late for my
date with Marge already,

and I have no way
of reaching her.

Yeah, well, I have
a luncheon date,

but I guess I can skip it
and stop by the school.

I certainly would appreciate it.

Ward, you think Beaver's
gotten into any serious trouble?

Well, dear, I wouldn't know.

But they don't usually call
you down to the principal's office

to tell you your boy's
made the honor roll.

Well, anyway, you go
ahead and have a good time.

- Don't worry. I'll take care of it.
- Thanks, dear.

Do other people's children
get in trouble like this, too?

Ah, cheer up, June. They
didn't put that long bench

outside the principal's
office just for us.

Good-bye, dear.

Yes?

Oh, have him come in, Miss Ryan,

then send the Cleaver boy in.

- Mrs. Rayburn.
- How do you do, Mr. Cleaver?

We dislike putting
parents to this trouble,

but sometimes it
becomes necessary.

- Sit down, please.
- Oh, thank you.

Well, I understand Beaver
has broken some sort of rule.

Mr. Cleaver, did you approve
of the way your son looked

when he left for
school this morning?

Well, yes. As I recall,
he looked all right to me.

[knocking on door]

[Mrs. Rayburn]
Come in, Theodore.

Beaver!

Hi, Dad.

Mrs. Rayburn, I assure
you, we had no intention

of Beaver coming to
school looking like this.

Well, I wouldn't think so.

Beaver, didn't I tell you to
put on a shirt this morning?

Yes, sir. I put on a shirt.

Well, then, how did you manage

to get to school
looking like this?

Well, I took the shirt off, and
I guess this was underneath.

Mr. Cleaver, you must be
aware of the school's position.

This manner of dress
only tends to detract

from the reason
why we're here...

To get an education.

Theodore, I imagine when
you went to the classroom

in that apparel,

there was quite
a bit of tittering

among the other students.

Yeah, the guys
tittered pretty good.

Theodore, what do
you think it would be like

if everyone in the school
wore something like that?

I guess it'd be
kind of gruesome.

I think it would be
pretty gruesome,

and I don't think we'd
get very much work done.

Yes, well, Mrs. Rayburn,
I'm very sorry this happened,

and I assure you it
won't happen again.

I'm sure it won't.

- Thank you for coming in,
Mr. Cleaver.
- Not at all.

Theodore, you
have plenty of time

to go home, change your clothes,

and be back for your
afternoon classes.

Yes, Mrs. Rayburn.

By the way,

just what is that on
the front of your shirt?

Oh, it's just a regular
Martian with three eyeballs.

[door opens]

Hi, Beav.

Hi, Wally.

Uh, Mom told me all about it

and said that Dad was
making you spend the night

and the rest of the
weekend at home.

Yeah, and you're
my first visitor.

He sure must've been sore.

Yeah, and it was the
worst kind of being sore.

When he drove me home from
school, he didn't even say anything.

But you knew he was sore, huh?

Yeah. I could tell by the way he
was gripping the steering wheel

and looking straight ahead.

Gee, didn't he say
anything like, uh...

Like yell at other
cars or anything?

No.

He just said he'd talk to
me when he got home.

Hey, Wally, do you think maybe

he'll forget about it by
the time he gets here?

No, I don't think so.

The more he thinks about you
sitting there in the principal's office

with those three
eyeballs staring at him,

the madder he's gonna get.

Well, Wally,

maybe you could go
down and talk to Mom

before Dad talks to me.

What good would that do?

Well, you could
tell her that, uh,

well, you've been
my brother all my life,

and that you know
me pretty well,

and that I'm not such
a bad guy after all.

You mean, then Mom
might soften Dad up?

- [car approaching]
- Yeah.

Gee, I don't know, Beav.
That's a pretty old trick.

They're wise to
that. And anyway,

Dad doesn't soften up
as easy as he used to.

[car door opens, closes]

Uh-oh. That must be Dad now.

Yeah. Hey, Wally,

why don't you go right
to Dad and talk to him?

Oh, well, gee, I
don't know, Beav.

But, Wally, you're
such a big guy,

and you're practically
grown-up and everything.

Well, you could talk
to dad just like one man

talking to another man.

Well, yeah.

Yeah, I guess I
could do that, all right.

I'll see what I can
do for you, Beav.

- Thanks, Wally.
- [door opens]

[door closes]

- Hi, dear.
- Hi.

Say, Dad, I wonder if I might
talk to you sort of man-to-man like.

Yes, Wally, I'll be glad
to talk to you man-to-man

and very plainly.

- Huh?
- Wally, time and again,

I've asked you to put
the empty trash cans

close to the house
when you bring them in,

so I can get the car in the
driveway without scraping the fender.

But there they were again.

Yes, sir. I'll go
out right now...

I already moved them. I had to.

- Yes, sir.
- [sighs]

Now, was there something
you want to talk to me about?

Well, yeah, there was, but
I guess there's nothing now.

If you're going back upstairs,

tell Beaver I want
to see him in the den.

Yes, sir.

Dear, I hope you won't
be too hard on Beaver.

I'm sorry, June, but if Beaver
tried to get you to soften me up,

it's just not going to work.

[door opens]

Did you talk to
Dad for me, Wally?

No, I didn't talk to him.

Gee, that's a dirty gyp.

Look, I was gonna talk to him,

but then he got
mad at me instead.

And it's all your fault, because he
wouldn't have been mad at anybody

if you hadn't started it
with a creepy sweatshirt.

And now Dad's mad at you, too?

Yeah. He wants to see you
down in the den right away.

You know, Wally, I wonder if
I'd have been in this much trouble

if I'd have bought a sweatshirt
with only two eyeballs.

You wanted to see me, Dad?

Yes, Beaver. Sit down.

Beaver, I have never been
more disappointed in you

than I was today when you
walked in the principal's office

wearing that
horrible sweatshirt.

Yes, sir.

And I just can't understand it.

Just this morning, your
mother and I both told you

to take that sweatshirt off
before you went to school.

Now, why did you
deliberately disobey us?

I didn't wanna
let the guys down.

- What guys?
- Richard, Whitey, and Alan.

We all took an oath that we'd
wear our sweatshirts to school.

And you were evidently
the only one who did.

Yeah. And that's how
come I got in trouble

on account of the other guys.

If we'd all worn our sweatshirts,
everything would've been all right.

Oh, no, Beaver.

Now, that's where
you're mistaken.

A thing is either
right or it's wrong.

And if it's wrong in the first
place, as this certainly was,

then it's still wrong, no
matter how many people do it.

Do you understand?

Yes, sir.

But I'd understand
it just as good

if you didn't yell it so loud.

Beaver, I'm not yelling.

But, Dad, I kept my word.

Why did the guys let me down?

Well, Beaver, I
think you'll find

when you're mixed
up in something wrong,

it's pretty easy for your
friends to let you down.

And you know the
answer, don't you?

Yes, sir.

Not have any friends.

Now, you know
that's not what I mean.

I guess you mean

don't get mixed up in stuff
that's wrong to begin with?

Right.

Now, then, we're not going
to have any further trouble

along this line, are we?

No, sir.

All right. You can go.

Up to my room?

Yes.

For the whole weekend?

Yes.

Dad, is it okay if I ask
you a real big favor?

What?

Well, when I sit up there
in my room all by myself,

is it okay if I wear
my sweatshirt?

I, uh, guess so.

Thanks, Dad.

[door opens]

All right, Beaver. You can
come out of your room now.

Gee, Dad, is the
weekend over with already?

No, not quite, but I
think you can go out

and get some fresh
air before dinner.

Well, I got some fresh air

on the way to church today, Dad.

Well, and I think I got enough

to hold me over until tomorrow.

You know, Beaver,

your mother and I were
very disappointed in you

that you deliberately
disobeyed us.

Yeah. I was disappointed
in myself, Dad.

I was a real dope.

But, gee, it was Richard
and Alan and Whitey's idea,

and they got away clean.

It might've been
their idea, Beaver,

but it was you
who carried it out.

You know, son, as you get older,

you're going to hear a
lot of wild talk from boys,

and if you're the one who
believes it and who carries it out,

then you're going to be
the one who gets in trouble,

not the boys who
do the big talking.

Yes, sir, Dad,

but I wouldn't have felt so bad,

well, if all the other guys
had worn their sweatshirts.

Well, maybe not on
the surface, Beaver.

But just remember one thing...

Wrong is wrong, even if
everyone says it's right,

and right is right, even if
everyone else says it's wrong.

Yes, sir.

Well, come on. Get your mitt,

and we'll get in a little
catch before supper.

Okay, Dad.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA