Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 5, Episode 37 - Long Distance Call - full transcript
While Ward and June are out for the day, Beaver is convinced by his visiting friends, Gilbert and Alan, to split the cost of a long distance phone call to Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher, Don Drysdale. But the prank costs much more than they expect when the boys are left on hold while the famous baseball player finishes his shower.
[Announcer] Starring...
and...
Hey, Beav, how come
you didn't want to go
to the Graysons
with Mom and Dad?
You know how it is, Wally. I
get nervous around grownups.
Yeah, but Mom and
Dad are grownups.
Yeah, I know,
but I've been
around them so long,
it's sort of like
being around kids.
I used to go to the Graysons
with Mom and Dad all the time.
It's not so bad.
They give you all
kinds of candy and pop,
and you can watch TV in the den.
Yeah, but they make
up for it in other ways.
Mrs. Grayson always says,
"I remember you when you
were knee-high to a grasshopper."
Then that Mr. Grayson,
he looks over at Mom
and Dad and says,
"Boy, look at those eyes.
I bet he'll be a
real lady killer."
Yeah, with me, it
was my wavy hair.
You know, Wally, if
I ever have any kids,
I'm going to hide
them from big people
until they're grown up.
Are Mom and Dad
going to make you go?
No, they had a
big talk about it.
Dad said, when I
was grown up enough.
Mom says she didn't know.
I didn't quite get that.
Yeah. Moms always know
guys are growing up, too,
but they just don't
like to admit it
as much as fathers do.
Yeah.
Hey, Wally, what are
you gonna do Saturday?
I'm going over to the editor
of the school paper's house.
That's why I'm sorting this junk
out. What are you gonna do?
Mom said I can have
Gilbert and Alan over.
How come you're doing school
stuff on your day off, Wally?
Aw, I don't know. I
don't mind the extra work.
Oh, I get it. You're
buttering up the editor
so you can get your
name in the paper.
Can't a guy just help
people out once in a while
without having a reason?
Well, sure they
can, but they don't.
How come you're doing it, Wally?
Look, you wouldn't
understand anyway.
Oh, so that's it.
The editor of the
school paper's a girl.
Hey, you are growing up.
Beaver, no roughhousing in
the house with Gilbert and Alan.
- Yes, Mom.
- And if you look at television,
don't turn it up too loud.
- Yes, Mom.
- All right.
- Oh, we all set?
- Yes, honey.
- I'll be right with you.
- Okay, Beaver.
- Now, have fun
with your friends.
- Yes, sir.
I think we can find some fun
between all the "don'ts" Mom gave us.
You better pay attention
to those "don'ts."
You're growing up, and we
expect you to act your age.
- Yes, sir.
- Well, I'm going now, Mom.
Wally, your father
and I were just leaving.
Can we drop you off?
Oh, okay. And, Beaver,
tell your messy little friends
to keep their hands off
my shaving lotion
and hair tonic and stuff.
- You understand?
- Yes, sir. Yes, Wally.
Beaver, we won't be late, okay?
- Now, you be a good boy.
- Have fun, Beaver.
- Oops. Sorry.
- Good-bye.
Hey, Beav, let's call
someone on the telephone.
[Beaver] Call who?
Oh, just anyone. It's fun.
Sometimes people yell at you.
Nah, that's no fun.
Oh, yeah? You'll see.
Hello. Benson's Meat Market?
Do you have pigs' feet? You do?
Well, put on your shoes,
and nobody will know it.
Hey, that's fun. Who
else can we call?
Hey, I got another one.
Hello. Vegetable counter?
I'd like five
pounds of potatoes,
a squash, and a large amatta.
Huh? "What's amatta?"
Nothing. What's amatta with you?
Come on, you guys.
Let's cut this out.
How come?
I think this is one of those
things we're too old to be doing.
Okay, then.
Hey, I know. Why
don't we call somebody?
- Really.
- What do you mean?
I mean, somebody like
Pat Boone or John Glenn.
Hey, how about
calling Don Drysdale?
Hey, that'd be neat.
Where do we call him?
They're playing at Dodger
Stadium in Los Angeles.
Wait a minute, Gilbert.
That's long distance.
Sure it is, but don't
you want to talk
to a famous ballplayer?
Well, sure, but it costs
money to call long distance.
My dad's not gonna like it.
Hey, what if we all chip in?
I got 75 cents.
I got a quarter.
Well, I got 35 cents.
That's way over a buck.
That oughta be plenty
just to talk to Los Angeles.
Boy, wait till the guys hear
that we talked to Don Drysdale.
- Hold it, Gilbert. Here comes Wally.
- [phone hangs up]
Nobody say nothing.
Why not? We're gonna pay.
Well, you know how it is.
Some big guys spoil stuff
just because someone
else thought of it.
[door opens]
All right, you guys.
What's going on?
Well, nothing's going on, Wally.
Aw, now, don't give me that.
Three guys just don't sit around
doing nothing without
being up to something.
Oh, Wally, no.
We were just sitting around
wondering what we oughta be up to.
- Weren't we?
- Mm-hmm.
- [footsteps]
- Just like a big guy.
Yeah, doesn't trust anybody.
[footsteps]
Hey, he's coming back.
Hello. I want to call Dodger
Stadium in Los Angeles.
What? Oh.
KL 5-4763.
Hey, Gilbert, I don't
know about this.
I've got sort of a funny
feeling in my stomach,
like when we're gonna
take a big test at school.
That'll go away when
Don Drysdale talks to us.
Hey, it's making a sound
like "Diddle, Diddle, Dumpling."
- Wanna hear?
- Nah.
I'll wait till you
get Don Drysdale.
Hello, Dodger Stadium?
We want to talk to Don Drysdale.
"Who's calling?" Uh,
Gilbert, Beaver, and Alan.
No, ma'am, we're not a law firm.
- She's gonna switch us
to the locker room.
- Boy.
I hope he didn't get knocked out
of the box today so he'll talk to us.
Hello, Mr. Drysdale?
Okay, we'll wait.
He's in the shower.
Boy, he's sure in that
shower a long time.
Yeah. I didn't think baseball
was such a dirty game.
Hello, may I speak...
Mr. Don Drysdale?
It is? No fooling?
Mr. Don Drysdale?
- It's him. It's really him.
- No kidding?
Mr. Drysdale, this is Gilbert,
and Beaver and Alan are with me,
and we called you because
you're our favorite baseball player.
Well, thanks, boys.
Where are you calling from?
Well, gee, that's quite a
distance to be calling from, isn't it?
Yeah, but we all chipped in.
We figured it'd be worth a
dollar to talk to Don Drysdale.
Well, thanks.
Let me talk to him, Gilbert.
Mr. Drysdale, this is Alan.
Fine, thanks.
How far did that home run
go that you slugged yesterday?
Well, the reporter said
it went about 420 feet.
Wow.
Hey, Beaver, you talk to him.
- What'll I say?
- Anything. Ask him something.
Hello. Um, Mr. Drysdale,
uh, do you spit in your glove?
Oh.
Mr. Drysdale,
this is Alan again.
Remember me?
When you walked
that guy the other day...
Well, the umpire was wrong.
It was a real strike.
I saw it on TV.
Well, thank you, Alan.
Mr. Durocher and myself
tried to point out the same thing.
But, listen, I'm afraid
this is gonna cost you
a little more than
what you realize.
Who? Beaver?
Oh, yeah. Yes, Beaver. Yes.
Well, I might get
out there sometime.
Well, and if I ever did, why,
I'd come and see you play.
And would you autograph
my glove for me or something?
Well, Beaver, I'd be glad to.
What kind of glove do you have?
A Warren Spahn?
Well, I'll autograph it anyway.
It was real nice
talking to you boys.
Good-bye, Mr. Drysdale.
Bye, Mr. Drysdale.
Good-bye, boys.
Yes, it was really me. Good-bye.
We did it.
We did it. We talked
to Don Drysdale.
Wait till the guys
hear about this.
Boy, what a neat guy.
Boy, I can't wait to get
to school on Monday.
I'll charge guys a
quarter even to touch me.
Hey, Gilbert, speaking
of quarters, let's have it.
- Huh?
- For talking on the phone
so I can give it to my dad.
Oh, yeah. Here.
Hey, listen, you guys,
I'm not chipping in 75 cents
when you guys are
only putting in a quarter.
Maybe I got change coming.
Yeah. Hey, Beav,
my dad always calls the operator
to find out how much the
long distance call costs.
- Why don't you do that?
- Yeah.
Why should we give your dad
more than he's supposed to get?
Okay.
Hello, Operator, we just made a
long-distance call to Los Angeles,
and we'd like to
know how much it cost.
KL 5-4763.
Okay.
Hey, with the money
we got left over,
let's get some ice
cream or something.
Hello, Operator.
Yes. How much?
What?
Okay. Thank you.
It's gonna cost $9.35, plus tax.
We shouldn't have waited
for him to get out of the shower.
Boy, it'd take us a year
to make that much money.
Your mother and
father... They're home!
Hey, you dirty guys,
come back here.
Hey, you guys,
what am I gonna do
when my dad sees that
$9.35 on the telephone bill?
Tell him Wally's got
a girl in Los Angeles.
No, I'm not getting Wally
in trouble on account of us.
Listen, the best thing to do is
not to say nothing to nobody.
Hey, you guys, wait.
How can we keep
from telling everybody
that we talked to a neat
guy like Don Drysdale?
We'll just have to, that's all.
We'll make a secret pact.
No. I'm gonna tell
my dad right now.
No. Wait. Listen. The bill won't
come for a couple of weeks.
By then, maybe we
can get the money.
At least wait till then.
Okay, I'll wait a little while.
Okay. And remember,
don't say nothing.
Nothing spilled or broken.
Yeah, it doesn't look like
the boys were even in here.
- Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
- Well, hi there, Beaver.
Your father and I are very
pleased the way the house looks.
- Yeah, it shows
you're acting your age.
- Thank you.
Did you and the fellas go
down to the park to play?
No. We messed around in here.
Well, I must say, you
behaved like gentlemen.
Hi. You guys home already?
We just got here. How
was your afternoon?
- It was okay.
- Did you and the editor
see eye to eye on
the editorial policy?
Sure, Dad.
Hey, Beav, did your
friends leave already?
Yeah, they left.
Did you guys find out
what they wrecked?
Wally, why would you think
they wrecked something?
Well, because this afternoon,
I had to come back to
the house for something,
and Beaver and Gilbert and Alan were
sitting there like the three monkeys...
See no evil, speak no
evil, and hear no evil.
Something was wrong.
Wally, let's not be unfair.
Now, don't you think that
three boys Beaver's age
can just sit around
doing nothing for a while?
No, Mom, I don't.
Boy, is that ever neat.
Who is he?
"Who is he?" He
just happens to be
one of the best race
drivers in the whole world.
You see where he wrote,
"To my good friend Kenny,
best wishes, Speed Brophy"?
Golly. He even called
you "good friend."
Hey, Gilbert, look
what Kenny's got.
An autographed picture of
Speed Brophy, the race driver.
- Let's see it.
- Don't get your fingers
on it.
I'm gonna have it framed.
- How'd you get it?
- From my dad.
He works at the newspaper,
and he knows Speed Brophy,
and someday, I might
get to meet him in person.
Boy, are you lucky.
Yeah, I'll say. I
wish I was you.
That's nothing. You guys oughta
know what happened to me.
What?
You guys ever heard
of Don Drysdale?
Who hasn't?
Everybody's heard
of Don Drysdale.
Yeah, well, I talked
to him in person
on a phone Saturday.
- Oh, go on.
- You're always
making things up.
Hey, Beav, Alan. I'll
prove it to you guys.
Hey, these guys don't
believe I talked to Don Drysdale
on the phone Saturday.
Well, gee, Gilbert, I thought
we were gonna keep it a secret.
Gee, Beav, I'm on a spot.
These guys don't
believe me. Tell them.
He did. And I talked to
him, too, and so did Beaver.
Yeah. Clear out to Los Angeles.
No kidding. What did he say?
We talked to him
about all sorts of stuff.
- He's a real neat guy.
- Yeah.
And he even said he'd autograph my
Warren Spahn baseball glove for me.
Aren't you guys lucky.
- A great pitcher
like Don Drysdale.
- In Los Angeles.
- We'll see you guys.
- Yeah. So long.
- All the way out
in Los Angeles.
- Gee.
These kids actually
talked to Don Drysdale?
Yeah, Dad.
Alan and Gilbert might
lie, but not Beaver.
He was a hall monitor.
Now, what are their names?
Gilbert Bates, Alan Boothby,
and Beaver... Theodore Cleaver.
And they talked to Don Drysdale
Saturday in Los Angeles.
Yeah, Dad. They called
him from Beaver's house.
Are you gonna put
it in the newspaper?
I think the editor
will go for it.
It's a good human interest
story with a local background.
- Oh, Dad?
- Yes?
While you're at it, could
you put in something
about me getting
Speed Brophy's picture?
I'll see.
Hello, Kenny?
Yeah, my mom said
you wanted to talk to me.
Your dad's gonna do what?
Don Drysdale?
By telephone?
In the paper?
Hey, Beaver, what was
bothering you last night?
Boy, you were really
tossing and turning.
Nothing.
Oh, yeah? Boy, I'd
sure hate to see you
when there was something
really bothering you.
You'd probably toss
yourself out the window.
Hey, Wally,
did you ever charge
anything to Dad
and not tell him about it?
No. Oh, yeah, once I did.
It was when Lumpy ran out of
gas, and we were both broke,
so I charged a dollar's worth
of gas at the service station.
Dad didn't get mad, did he?
Boy, are you kidding?
He got real mad.
For one dollar's worth of gas?
It wasn't so much that.
It was mainly that
I didn't tell him.
He didn't find out
until he got the bill.
What's the matter? Did you
charge something and not tell him?
Yeah. That's it, Wally.
Boy, that's bad, Beav.
Whatever you charged,
you'd better take it back
where you got it so
they can take it off the bill.
But I can't take it back.
How come?
What I charged
was a telephone call.
Just a phone call?
That's only 15 or 20 cents.
Dad's not gonna
get mad about that.
Yeah, Wally,
but my phone call
was to Los Angeles.
Los Angeles?
Well, who did you
call in Los Angeles?
Don Drysdale.
Don Drysdale?
Yeah, Beav. Yeah, sure you did.
- Hello, dear.
- Hi.
Hey, this is the second time
you've come in the back door.
Yeah, I know. I want
to keep you guessing.
Anything in the paper?
I don't know. I just
picked it up off the lawn.
Probably the usual international
crises and local accidents.
Honey, look at this,
right here in the
second section.
"Local Boys Talk to
Famous Baseball Player."
Well, good for them.
"Three Mayfield boys,
"Gilbert Bates,
Alan Boothby, and...
"and Beaver Cleaver
experienced the thrill of a lifetime
"when they talked
on the telephone
"to Don Drysdale in Los Angeles.
"According to the trio, they talked
to the well-known baseball star
from the home of the
young Cleaver boy."
Ward, Beaver talked to
Los Angeles from our house?
It was probably
the other afternoon
when we left him here
alone with Gilbert and Alan.
Why didn't he tell us?
Because I imagine it was a
very expensive phone call.
Oh.
You suppose he knows
that's in the paper?
Wouldn't be surprised. The
house was strangely quiet
when I came in.
Beaver!
Beaver, come down here!
Well, we thought it'd
only be around a dollar,
but then when we
heard it was $9.35,
we got real scared.
[Ward sighs]
Beaver, you didn't really think you
could get away with this, did you?
No, Dad. Any kid
knows he can't get away
with $9.35 worth of trouble.
- [doorbell rings]
- See...
Yes, boys?
My father sent me over here.
He heard about the phone
call in the newspaper.
Mine, too.
He said you could do
anything you wanted to me.
I know you wouldn't do it,
would you, Mr. Cleaver, sir?
Come on in, boys.
We're all in the den.
- Hi, guys.
- Hi, Beav.
Hi, Beav.
Now, then, before I do anything,
I'd like to have a
few more of the facts.
How did all this start?
Well, first, we called
the butcher with pigs' feet
and told him to wear shoes.
And then we called
the food market
and asked them, "What's amatta?"
What's this?
It's just a bunch of gags
we were pulling, Dad.
Well, I think you
boys are too old
to be playing ridiculous
jokes on the phone.
I know, Dad, but if I
hadn't have told them that,
we would've never
called Don Drysdale.
We're real sorry, Mr. Cleaver.
Yeah, Dad.
Like I said, we were all
gonna chip in and pay for it,
but it turned out to be a
whole lot more than a dollar
on account he stayed
in the shower so long.
Maybe we oughta see if
we can get Mr. Drysdale
to chip in, too.
Boys, I'm very
disappointed in all of you.
You had no right to use my phone
to call anyone
without my permission.
- Yes, sir.
- Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
And when you make
a mistake, admit it.
If you don't, you only
make matters worse.
Well, if we knew we were
gonna make matters worse,
we would've admitted
it right away, sir.
Well, I wanna be
fair to you boys.
But you are going
to be punished.
How about if you come over
and work for an hour in my yard
every day after school
for a week to pay the debt?
Yes, sir, Mr. Cleaver.
We'll never do
anything like this again.
- Well, I certainly hope not.
- Mr. Cleaver,
could you call up
my father and tell him
that you already
gave us a lecture
so I won't have to
have another one?
No, Gilbert. I
think this just might
deserve two lectures.
- Yes, sir.
- Well, I gotta get right home
now, Mr. Cleaver, sir.
- Excuse me.
- Me, too.
I'll see you, Beav.
Bye, Mr. Cleaver.
Beaver?
Yes, Dad?
Was it worth all this?
No, Dad. I thought it was,
but nothing's worth
having your dad
think you're a little sneak.
Okay, Beaver.
Gilbert's line is still busy.
Well, and if I don't
hurry up and get him,
I won't be able to go
to the show with him.
Well, Gilbert has a party
line. Maybe someone's
calling a butcher and
asking if he has pigs' feet.
But, gee, Dad, don't they know
that other people need the phone
for more important things?
Oh, yeah.
Beaver,
I know your call's
important to you,
but think what it would
mean to someone
who was trying to
get an ambulance
or call the fire department
if the line was kept busy
with someone fooling around,
talking to the grocery
store or the butcher.
Not to mention the inconvenience
you caused the people you bothered.
Yes, Mom. Yes, Dad.
[doorbell rings]
I'll get it.
- Oh, hi, Wally.
- Hi, Gilbert.
Hey, Beav, it's Gilbert.
Hi, Beav. Hi,
Mr. Cleaver, Mrs. Cleaver.
- Hi, Gilbert.
- Hey, Beav, aren't you
gonna go to the show with me?
Well, sure. I've been
trying to call you.
How come you didn't call me
like you said you were gonna?
Yeah. When I told
my dad about us
calling the meat market
and the vegetable stand,
he won't let me use the
phone for a whole month.
Oh. So long, Mom. So long, Dad.
Good-bye, boys.
Have a good time.
I must say, you fellas are
doing a good job on the yard.
Oh, thanks a lot, Mr. Cleaver.
Hey, Beav, whatever happened
to that secret pact we had
about not saying
anything to nobody?
Yeah.
This is the first secret
pact I've ever been in on
that the whole town
knows all about it.
Yeah. I never knew
so much bad stuff
got in the paper.
Sure it does. When
a guy robs a bank,
that gets in the
paper, doesn't it?
Yeah. Boy, we better
watch it, all right.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
and...
Hey, Beav, how come
you didn't want to go
to the Graysons
with Mom and Dad?
You know how it is, Wally. I
get nervous around grownups.
Yeah, but Mom and
Dad are grownups.
Yeah, I know,
but I've been
around them so long,
it's sort of like
being around kids.
I used to go to the Graysons
with Mom and Dad all the time.
It's not so bad.
They give you all
kinds of candy and pop,
and you can watch TV in the den.
Yeah, but they make
up for it in other ways.
Mrs. Grayson always says,
"I remember you when you
were knee-high to a grasshopper."
Then that Mr. Grayson,
he looks over at Mom
and Dad and says,
"Boy, look at those eyes.
I bet he'll be a
real lady killer."
Yeah, with me, it
was my wavy hair.
You know, Wally, if
I ever have any kids,
I'm going to hide
them from big people
until they're grown up.
Are Mom and Dad
going to make you go?
No, they had a
big talk about it.
Dad said, when I
was grown up enough.
Mom says she didn't know.
I didn't quite get that.
Yeah. Moms always know
guys are growing up, too,
but they just don't
like to admit it
as much as fathers do.
Yeah.
Hey, Wally, what are
you gonna do Saturday?
I'm going over to the editor
of the school paper's house.
That's why I'm sorting this junk
out. What are you gonna do?
Mom said I can have
Gilbert and Alan over.
How come you're doing school
stuff on your day off, Wally?
Aw, I don't know. I
don't mind the extra work.
Oh, I get it. You're
buttering up the editor
so you can get your
name in the paper.
Can't a guy just help
people out once in a while
without having a reason?
Well, sure they
can, but they don't.
How come you're doing it, Wally?
Look, you wouldn't
understand anyway.
Oh, so that's it.
The editor of the
school paper's a girl.
Hey, you are growing up.
Beaver, no roughhousing in
the house with Gilbert and Alan.
- Yes, Mom.
- And if you look at television,
don't turn it up too loud.
- Yes, Mom.
- All right.
- Oh, we all set?
- Yes, honey.
- I'll be right with you.
- Okay, Beaver.
- Now, have fun
with your friends.
- Yes, sir.
I think we can find some fun
between all the "don'ts" Mom gave us.
You better pay attention
to those "don'ts."
You're growing up, and we
expect you to act your age.
- Yes, sir.
- Well, I'm going now, Mom.
Wally, your father
and I were just leaving.
Can we drop you off?
Oh, okay. And, Beaver,
tell your messy little friends
to keep their hands off
my shaving lotion
and hair tonic and stuff.
- You understand?
- Yes, sir. Yes, Wally.
Beaver, we won't be late, okay?
- Now, you be a good boy.
- Have fun, Beaver.
- Oops. Sorry.
- Good-bye.
Hey, Beav, let's call
someone on the telephone.
[Beaver] Call who?
Oh, just anyone. It's fun.
Sometimes people yell at you.
Nah, that's no fun.
Oh, yeah? You'll see.
Hello. Benson's Meat Market?
Do you have pigs' feet? You do?
Well, put on your shoes,
and nobody will know it.
Hey, that's fun. Who
else can we call?
Hey, I got another one.
Hello. Vegetable counter?
I'd like five
pounds of potatoes,
a squash, and a large amatta.
Huh? "What's amatta?"
Nothing. What's amatta with you?
Come on, you guys.
Let's cut this out.
How come?
I think this is one of those
things we're too old to be doing.
Okay, then.
Hey, I know. Why
don't we call somebody?
- Really.
- What do you mean?
I mean, somebody like
Pat Boone or John Glenn.
Hey, how about
calling Don Drysdale?
Hey, that'd be neat.
Where do we call him?
They're playing at Dodger
Stadium in Los Angeles.
Wait a minute, Gilbert.
That's long distance.
Sure it is, but don't
you want to talk
to a famous ballplayer?
Well, sure, but it costs
money to call long distance.
My dad's not gonna like it.
Hey, what if we all chip in?
I got 75 cents.
I got a quarter.
Well, I got 35 cents.
That's way over a buck.
That oughta be plenty
just to talk to Los Angeles.
Boy, wait till the guys hear
that we talked to Don Drysdale.
- Hold it, Gilbert. Here comes Wally.
- [phone hangs up]
Nobody say nothing.
Why not? We're gonna pay.
Well, you know how it is.
Some big guys spoil stuff
just because someone
else thought of it.
[door opens]
All right, you guys.
What's going on?
Well, nothing's going on, Wally.
Aw, now, don't give me that.
Three guys just don't sit around
doing nothing without
being up to something.
Oh, Wally, no.
We were just sitting around
wondering what we oughta be up to.
- Weren't we?
- Mm-hmm.
- [footsteps]
- Just like a big guy.
Yeah, doesn't trust anybody.
[footsteps]
Hey, he's coming back.
Hello. I want to call Dodger
Stadium in Los Angeles.
What? Oh.
KL 5-4763.
Hey, Gilbert, I don't
know about this.
I've got sort of a funny
feeling in my stomach,
like when we're gonna
take a big test at school.
That'll go away when
Don Drysdale talks to us.
Hey, it's making a sound
like "Diddle, Diddle, Dumpling."
- Wanna hear?
- Nah.
I'll wait till you
get Don Drysdale.
Hello, Dodger Stadium?
We want to talk to Don Drysdale.
"Who's calling?" Uh,
Gilbert, Beaver, and Alan.
No, ma'am, we're not a law firm.
- She's gonna switch us
to the locker room.
- Boy.
I hope he didn't get knocked out
of the box today so he'll talk to us.
Hello, Mr. Drysdale?
Okay, we'll wait.
He's in the shower.
Boy, he's sure in that
shower a long time.
Yeah. I didn't think baseball
was such a dirty game.
Hello, may I speak...
Mr. Don Drysdale?
It is? No fooling?
Mr. Don Drysdale?
- It's him. It's really him.
- No kidding?
Mr. Drysdale, this is Gilbert,
and Beaver and Alan are with me,
and we called you because
you're our favorite baseball player.
Well, thanks, boys.
Where are you calling from?
Well, gee, that's quite a
distance to be calling from, isn't it?
Yeah, but we all chipped in.
We figured it'd be worth a
dollar to talk to Don Drysdale.
Well, thanks.
Let me talk to him, Gilbert.
Mr. Drysdale, this is Alan.
Fine, thanks.
How far did that home run
go that you slugged yesterday?
Well, the reporter said
it went about 420 feet.
Wow.
Hey, Beaver, you talk to him.
- What'll I say?
- Anything. Ask him something.
Hello. Um, Mr. Drysdale,
uh, do you spit in your glove?
Oh.
Mr. Drysdale,
this is Alan again.
Remember me?
When you walked
that guy the other day...
Well, the umpire was wrong.
It was a real strike.
I saw it on TV.
Well, thank you, Alan.
Mr. Durocher and myself
tried to point out the same thing.
But, listen, I'm afraid
this is gonna cost you
a little more than
what you realize.
Who? Beaver?
Oh, yeah. Yes, Beaver. Yes.
Well, I might get
out there sometime.
Well, and if I ever did, why,
I'd come and see you play.
And would you autograph
my glove for me or something?
Well, Beaver, I'd be glad to.
What kind of glove do you have?
A Warren Spahn?
Well, I'll autograph it anyway.
It was real nice
talking to you boys.
Good-bye, Mr. Drysdale.
Bye, Mr. Drysdale.
Good-bye, boys.
Yes, it was really me. Good-bye.
We did it.
We did it. We talked
to Don Drysdale.
Wait till the guys
hear about this.
Boy, what a neat guy.
Boy, I can't wait to get
to school on Monday.
I'll charge guys a
quarter even to touch me.
Hey, Gilbert, speaking
of quarters, let's have it.
- Huh?
- For talking on the phone
so I can give it to my dad.
Oh, yeah. Here.
Hey, listen, you guys,
I'm not chipping in 75 cents
when you guys are
only putting in a quarter.
Maybe I got change coming.
Yeah. Hey, Beav,
my dad always calls the operator
to find out how much the
long distance call costs.
- Why don't you do that?
- Yeah.
Why should we give your dad
more than he's supposed to get?
Okay.
Hello, Operator, we just made a
long-distance call to Los Angeles,
and we'd like to
know how much it cost.
KL 5-4763.
Okay.
Hey, with the money
we got left over,
let's get some ice
cream or something.
Hello, Operator.
Yes. How much?
What?
Okay. Thank you.
It's gonna cost $9.35, plus tax.
We shouldn't have waited
for him to get out of the shower.
Boy, it'd take us a year
to make that much money.
Your mother and
father... They're home!
Hey, you dirty guys,
come back here.
Hey, you guys,
what am I gonna do
when my dad sees that
$9.35 on the telephone bill?
Tell him Wally's got
a girl in Los Angeles.
No, I'm not getting Wally
in trouble on account of us.
Listen, the best thing to do is
not to say nothing to nobody.
Hey, you guys, wait.
How can we keep
from telling everybody
that we talked to a neat
guy like Don Drysdale?
We'll just have to, that's all.
We'll make a secret pact.
No. I'm gonna tell
my dad right now.
No. Wait. Listen. The bill won't
come for a couple of weeks.
By then, maybe we
can get the money.
At least wait till then.
Okay, I'll wait a little while.
Okay. And remember,
don't say nothing.
Nothing spilled or broken.
Yeah, it doesn't look like
the boys were even in here.
- Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
- Well, hi there, Beaver.
Your father and I are very
pleased the way the house looks.
- Yeah, it shows
you're acting your age.
- Thank you.
Did you and the fellas go
down to the park to play?
No. We messed around in here.
Well, I must say, you
behaved like gentlemen.
Hi. You guys home already?
We just got here. How
was your afternoon?
- It was okay.
- Did you and the editor
see eye to eye on
the editorial policy?
Sure, Dad.
Hey, Beav, did your
friends leave already?
Yeah, they left.
Did you guys find out
what they wrecked?
Wally, why would you think
they wrecked something?
Well, because this afternoon,
I had to come back to
the house for something,
and Beaver and Gilbert and Alan were
sitting there like the three monkeys...
See no evil, speak no
evil, and hear no evil.
Something was wrong.
Wally, let's not be unfair.
Now, don't you think that
three boys Beaver's age
can just sit around
doing nothing for a while?
No, Mom, I don't.
Boy, is that ever neat.
Who is he?
"Who is he?" He
just happens to be
one of the best race
drivers in the whole world.
You see where he wrote,
"To my good friend Kenny,
best wishes, Speed Brophy"?
Golly. He even called
you "good friend."
Hey, Gilbert, look
what Kenny's got.
An autographed picture of
Speed Brophy, the race driver.
- Let's see it.
- Don't get your fingers
on it.
I'm gonna have it framed.
- How'd you get it?
- From my dad.
He works at the newspaper,
and he knows Speed Brophy,
and someday, I might
get to meet him in person.
Boy, are you lucky.
Yeah, I'll say. I
wish I was you.
That's nothing. You guys oughta
know what happened to me.
What?
You guys ever heard
of Don Drysdale?
Who hasn't?
Everybody's heard
of Don Drysdale.
Yeah, well, I talked
to him in person
on a phone Saturday.
- Oh, go on.
- You're always
making things up.
Hey, Beav, Alan. I'll
prove it to you guys.
Hey, these guys don't
believe I talked to Don Drysdale
on the phone Saturday.
Well, gee, Gilbert, I thought
we were gonna keep it a secret.
Gee, Beav, I'm on a spot.
These guys don't
believe me. Tell them.
He did. And I talked to
him, too, and so did Beaver.
Yeah. Clear out to Los Angeles.
No kidding. What did he say?
We talked to him
about all sorts of stuff.
- He's a real neat guy.
- Yeah.
And he even said he'd autograph my
Warren Spahn baseball glove for me.
Aren't you guys lucky.
- A great pitcher
like Don Drysdale.
- In Los Angeles.
- We'll see you guys.
- Yeah. So long.
- All the way out
in Los Angeles.
- Gee.
These kids actually
talked to Don Drysdale?
Yeah, Dad.
Alan and Gilbert might
lie, but not Beaver.
He was a hall monitor.
Now, what are their names?
Gilbert Bates, Alan Boothby,
and Beaver... Theodore Cleaver.
And they talked to Don Drysdale
Saturday in Los Angeles.
Yeah, Dad. They called
him from Beaver's house.
Are you gonna put
it in the newspaper?
I think the editor
will go for it.
It's a good human interest
story with a local background.
- Oh, Dad?
- Yes?
While you're at it, could
you put in something
about me getting
Speed Brophy's picture?
I'll see.
Hello, Kenny?
Yeah, my mom said
you wanted to talk to me.
Your dad's gonna do what?
Don Drysdale?
By telephone?
In the paper?
Hey, Beaver, what was
bothering you last night?
Boy, you were really
tossing and turning.
Nothing.
Oh, yeah? Boy, I'd
sure hate to see you
when there was something
really bothering you.
You'd probably toss
yourself out the window.
Hey, Wally,
did you ever charge
anything to Dad
and not tell him about it?
No. Oh, yeah, once I did.
It was when Lumpy ran out of
gas, and we were both broke,
so I charged a dollar's worth
of gas at the service station.
Dad didn't get mad, did he?
Boy, are you kidding?
He got real mad.
For one dollar's worth of gas?
It wasn't so much that.
It was mainly that
I didn't tell him.
He didn't find out
until he got the bill.
What's the matter? Did you
charge something and not tell him?
Yeah. That's it, Wally.
Boy, that's bad, Beav.
Whatever you charged,
you'd better take it back
where you got it so
they can take it off the bill.
But I can't take it back.
How come?
What I charged
was a telephone call.
Just a phone call?
That's only 15 or 20 cents.
Dad's not gonna
get mad about that.
Yeah, Wally,
but my phone call
was to Los Angeles.
Los Angeles?
Well, who did you
call in Los Angeles?
Don Drysdale.
Don Drysdale?
Yeah, Beav. Yeah, sure you did.
- Hello, dear.
- Hi.
Hey, this is the second time
you've come in the back door.
Yeah, I know. I want
to keep you guessing.
Anything in the paper?
I don't know. I just
picked it up off the lawn.
Probably the usual international
crises and local accidents.
Honey, look at this,
right here in the
second section.
"Local Boys Talk to
Famous Baseball Player."
Well, good for them.
"Three Mayfield boys,
"Gilbert Bates,
Alan Boothby, and...
"and Beaver Cleaver
experienced the thrill of a lifetime
"when they talked
on the telephone
"to Don Drysdale in Los Angeles.
"According to the trio, they talked
to the well-known baseball star
from the home of the
young Cleaver boy."
Ward, Beaver talked to
Los Angeles from our house?
It was probably
the other afternoon
when we left him here
alone with Gilbert and Alan.
Why didn't he tell us?
Because I imagine it was a
very expensive phone call.
Oh.
You suppose he knows
that's in the paper?
Wouldn't be surprised. The
house was strangely quiet
when I came in.
Beaver!
Beaver, come down here!
Well, we thought it'd
only be around a dollar,
but then when we
heard it was $9.35,
we got real scared.
[Ward sighs]
Beaver, you didn't really think you
could get away with this, did you?
No, Dad. Any kid
knows he can't get away
with $9.35 worth of trouble.
- [doorbell rings]
- See...
Yes, boys?
My father sent me over here.
He heard about the phone
call in the newspaper.
Mine, too.
He said you could do
anything you wanted to me.
I know you wouldn't do it,
would you, Mr. Cleaver, sir?
Come on in, boys.
We're all in the den.
- Hi, guys.
- Hi, Beav.
Hi, Beav.
Now, then, before I do anything,
I'd like to have a
few more of the facts.
How did all this start?
Well, first, we called
the butcher with pigs' feet
and told him to wear shoes.
And then we called
the food market
and asked them, "What's amatta?"
What's this?
It's just a bunch of gags
we were pulling, Dad.
Well, I think you
boys are too old
to be playing ridiculous
jokes on the phone.
I know, Dad, but if I
hadn't have told them that,
we would've never
called Don Drysdale.
We're real sorry, Mr. Cleaver.
Yeah, Dad.
Like I said, we were all
gonna chip in and pay for it,
but it turned out to be a
whole lot more than a dollar
on account he stayed
in the shower so long.
Maybe we oughta see if
we can get Mr. Drysdale
to chip in, too.
Boys, I'm very
disappointed in all of you.
You had no right to use my phone
to call anyone
without my permission.
- Yes, sir.
- Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
And when you make
a mistake, admit it.
If you don't, you only
make matters worse.
Well, if we knew we were
gonna make matters worse,
we would've admitted
it right away, sir.
Well, I wanna be
fair to you boys.
But you are going
to be punished.
How about if you come over
and work for an hour in my yard
every day after school
for a week to pay the debt?
Yes, sir, Mr. Cleaver.
We'll never do
anything like this again.
- Well, I certainly hope not.
- Mr. Cleaver,
could you call up
my father and tell him
that you already
gave us a lecture
so I won't have to
have another one?
No, Gilbert. I
think this just might
deserve two lectures.
- Yes, sir.
- Well, I gotta get right home
now, Mr. Cleaver, sir.
- Excuse me.
- Me, too.
I'll see you, Beav.
Bye, Mr. Cleaver.
Beaver?
Yes, Dad?
Was it worth all this?
No, Dad. I thought it was,
but nothing's worth
having your dad
think you're a little sneak.
Okay, Beaver.
Gilbert's line is still busy.
Well, and if I don't
hurry up and get him,
I won't be able to go
to the show with him.
Well, Gilbert has a party
line. Maybe someone's
calling a butcher and
asking if he has pigs' feet.
But, gee, Dad, don't they know
that other people need the phone
for more important things?
Oh, yeah.
Beaver,
I know your call's
important to you,
but think what it would
mean to someone
who was trying to
get an ambulance
or call the fire department
if the line was kept busy
with someone fooling around,
talking to the grocery
store or the butcher.
Not to mention the inconvenience
you caused the people you bothered.
Yes, Mom. Yes, Dad.
[doorbell rings]
I'll get it.
- Oh, hi, Wally.
- Hi, Gilbert.
Hey, Beav, it's Gilbert.
Hi, Beav. Hi,
Mr. Cleaver, Mrs. Cleaver.
- Hi, Gilbert.
- Hey, Beav, aren't you
gonna go to the show with me?
Well, sure. I've been
trying to call you.
How come you didn't call me
like you said you were gonna?
Yeah. When I told
my dad about us
calling the meat market
and the vegetable stand,
he won't let me use the
phone for a whole month.
Oh. So long, Mom. So long, Dad.
Good-bye, boys.
Have a good time.
I must say, you fellas are
doing a good job on the yard.
Oh, thanks a lot, Mr. Cleaver.
Hey, Beav, whatever happened
to that secret pact we had
about not saying
anything to nobody?
Yeah.
This is the first secret
pact I've ever been in on
that the whole town
knows all about it.
Yeah. I never knew
so much bad stuff
got in the paper.
Sure it does. When
a guy robs a bank,
that gets in the
paper, doesn't it?
Yeah. Boy, we better
watch it, all right.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA