Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 4, Episode 15 - Teacher's Daughter - full transcript

Starring...

and...

Hi, Dad. I'm just making my bed.

Oh. What are you doing now?

Pounding the lumps out of it.

Here, wait a
minute. What is that?

Oh, Beaver, now, why would
you put these things in here?

Mom gets mad if she
finds them on the floor.

You go put them away properly.

Yes, sir.

Hey, uh, your mother and I



are going to do the
shopping this morning.

We wondered if you boys
would like to come along.

I would, but Wally's been
taking a shower all morning.

A shower, on Saturday morning?

What's the occasion?

I don't know, but it
must be something.

No guy'd get clean for nothing.

Oh, hi, Dad.

Hello, Wally.

Well, uh, I was going to ask

if you wanted to go shopping
with your mother and me,

- but I guess
you have other plans.
- Yeah, Dad.

There's no track practice
till the new semester starts,

so I thought I might
go down to the gym



and shoot a couple of baskets.

And I might go over
to Metzger's Field,

get up a game of touch football.

How do you like that?

He's putting on clean underwear

just to play touch football.

Lilac water.

Yeah, Dad. Isn't
that disgusting?

Well, you may not think so
a couple of years from now.

Come on, let's get
this bed made up.

I'll help you.

Okay, Dad.

Here you are!

Yeah, hi.

I thought we were
going shopping.

Oh, we are, but,
uh, Beaver and I

have been mulling a
little mystery over up here.

- Mystery?
- Yeah.

It seems that Wally
got up this morning,

took a shower, put
on clean underclothes,

and, uh, has been sprinkling
himself with lilac water.

Well, I'd put that under
the heading of progress.

Wow, he's brushing
his teeth again.

He's really cracking up.

Beaver, are you still
chewing that gum?

Not anymore, Mom.

Heh, well, that certainly
brings back memories.

Oh, isn't that sweet?

I thought so. That's Wally!

Our Wally?

Why, it is our Wally.

Boy, look at him.

This is almost as good

as watching one of
them slobbering movies.

Well, I guess this
explains the shower

and the lilac water.

Some touch football, huh, Dad?

Ward, who is she?
Where'd she come from?

Have you ever seen her before?

Nope, but it looks
as though Wally has.

Now they're laughing.

I'll bet he's giving her a
whole bunch of mushy talk.

Well, uh, when
track practice starts,

the coach says we
might get new sweat suits,

or we might not.

It kind of depends on how
bad the old ones have got.

I suppose it does.

Wally, do you think you'll be
getting a new homeroom next term

or staying in the old homeroom?

Well, Mr. Haller says we
might get a new homeroom,

or we might stay in
the old homeroom.

It, uh, it's kind of
like the sweat suits.

Oh, Ward, I'd just give anything

to know what they're saying.

Well, she's probably
saying the same things

you said to boys
when you were her age.

Oh, dear, I hope she isn't
saying anything that silly to Wally.

Boy, look at them now!

Is it gone?

Yes. It was just a smudge.

How big a smudge?

Just a smidge of a smudge.

Uh, you've got some...
Oh, Ward, come on.

I can't stand here
and watch that.

Yeah, Dad, it's
making me sick, too.

Well, Wally, the new semester

starts at school on
Monday, doesn't it?

Yeah, we might switch
homerooms around and junk.

They want us to get to
know more people in school.

Well, I, um, I guess you've
made a lot of new friends

this year in school,
haven't you?

Yeah, sure, I guess so.

And, uh, I guess
you've gotten to know

some of the old ones
a little better, too, huh?

Well, yeah, I... I suppose so.

Hey, what are you
guys getting at?

They're trying to find
out who the girl was

you were wising
up to in the park.

Beaver.

You mean, you guys
saw me in the park?

Oh, well, we just
happened to see you.

Yeah, and we just
happened to stand there

and watch you for
ten whole minutes, too.

Beaver, eat your salad.

Yes, sir.

Oh, well, I... I just ran
into that girl in the park,

and, well, heck, I...

I didn't know you guys
would be spying on me.

Oh, we weren't
spying on you, Wally.

We were just a little curious.

Uh, we wondered who she was.

Oh, well, her name
is Julie Foster,

and she goes to my school,

and could I have
another hunk of butter?

Julie Foster? Do we
know her parents?

No, I don't think so.

Her pop teaches
English at high school.

Foster?

I don't remember your
mentioning a Mr. Foster.

Oh, well, um, he's
not one of my teachers.

Julie's not a creepy
girl or anything.

Oh, well, we know she's
a very nice girl, Wally,

or you wouldn't be
holding hands with her.

Well, I... I wasn't exactly
holding hands with her.

I mean, well, my hand was
just kind of hanging there,

and, um, and she took it.

Boy, if a girl ever
took my hand,

I'd slug her with the other one.

Well, I'm sure
she's a very nice girl.

Yeah, you already said that.

Uh, your mother and I would
like to meet her sometime.

Gee, why would you
want to meet her?

She's a lot younger
than you guys.

Wally, they want to meet her

on account of they're
worried about ya.

On the way home, Mom said,

"What's happened
to my little baby?"

Beaver!

Yes, ma'am.

Well, it's no big thing, Mom.

It... Oh, um, I'll get it.

That must be Eddie Haskell.

We're going to kind
of mess around tonight.

Well, are you, uh, going
to kind of run into Julie, too?

Well, yeah, uh, kind of.

Don't you want your dessert?

Oh, uh, no thanks, Mom.

I'll eat his, Mom.

Ward, I hope we
didn't embarrass Wally.

You must have.

He was turning all
kinds of different colors.

Oh hi, Eddie.

Uh, hiya, lover.

Cut it out, would ya, Eddie?

Where's the fuzz?

The fuzz?

Yeah, your parents.

Oh, uh, they're in eating.

Oh, good. Now I
don't have to be polite.

Ah, come on, Eddie.

You know, Ward, I've always
looked forward to Wally growing up.

And now that he
is, it frightens me.

Well, I'm sure she's
a very nice girl, dear.

Don't you think so, Beaver?

I can't tell about girls, Dad.
They all give me the creeps.

Hey, Eddie, who are you
taking to the movies tonight?

Dotty Donovan.

Uh, her father owns a
big construction company.

So what?

So what?

My father says you've gotta
make connections in high school

that you can use
later on in life.

That Dotty, she's
kind of a cute girl.

How come she's
going out with you?

Well, I got my mother
to call her mother,

and her mother made
her go out with me.

Uh, who are you
dragging to the movies?

Julie Foster.

Julie Foster?

What do you want
to take her out for?

'Cause she's a nice girl.

What kind of a reason is that?

I mean, I know
10 or 15 real dolls

that'd flip if you
asked them out.

Uh, has Julie's father
got a big company?

Oh, you know Mr. Foster.

He teaches English
at high school.

Yeah, sure, so what
good is that gonna do you?

You're not even in his class.

You're just wasting
your time, Sam.

Look, Eddie, I'm
taking Julie out

on account of I like her,

and don't you go making
any cracks tonight, okay?

Okay, okay.

Man, you got a
license to use this stuff?

Come on, Eddie.

What do you plan
to do tonight, Beav?

Well, I think I'll watch
television tonight.

There's more guys get killed

than any other
night in the week.

Good evening, Mr. Cleaver.

Good evening, Mrs. Cleaver.

- Good evening, Eddie.
- Hello, Eddie.

Well, what show are you
fellas going to see tonight?

Uh, we're going to Spartacus.

I'm quite a student of history,

and I'd like to see if it
contains any inaccuracies.

Oh, well, don't
you let Kirk Douglas

get away with anything, Eddie.

Are you taking Belinda
McGowen with you tonight, Eddie?

Oh, no, ma'am. I'm
escorting Dotty Donovan.

Her father owns a big
construction company.

Uh, Wally's taking Julie Foster.

She's a very nice girl.

Come on, Eddie, let's go.

Yes.

Good night, Mr. Cleaver.

Good night, Mrs. Cleaver.

Good night, little fellow.

Good night, Eddie.

Oh, Ward, wouldn't it be nice,

when the semester
changes on Monday,

if Eddie ended up in a
different homeroom from Wally?

Yeah, or in a different state.

Hey, Lumpy, Wally and I
are in the same homeroom.

I guess the cat's gonna
have to lean on me again.

Yeah, look what they did to me.

They took me away
from Mrs. Thompson

and gave me to Mr. Foster.

He doesn't like me.

He caught me hiding in the
mop closet during gym once.

Hey, look who else
they gave to Mr. Foster...

Lover boy Cleaver.

Yeah, that's right.

He's been going with
Julie Foster, hasn't he?

Sure, he has.

And I told him he
was wasting his time.

Boy, he must have known
he was gonna end up

in her father's class
before he made his move.

Hi, guys.

Hey, are there any big changes?

Heh heh heh.

You operator, you.

Hey look, they put me in
Mr. Foster's English class.

Daddy dear, don't
flunk my sweetie pie.

Give him a nice
big A-sie waysie.

Ah, cut it out, would ya, Lumpy?

I didn't know I was
gonna be in his class.

Oh, sure, you didn't.

Boy, you got it made, kid.

Now all you've gotta
do is find a college

where all the professors
have daughters.

♪ Alouette, gentle alouette ♪

♪ Alouette, gentle boomerang ♪

♪ Alouette, gentle... ♪

Hey, Beaver, what's this
gentle boomerang junk?

It's a French song I once
heard in kindergarten.

♪ Alouette, gentle alouette ♪

Well, why don't you just dry
up and do your homework, huh?

I already did my homework,

and I can't think of
anything else to do.

♪ Alouette, gentle boomerang ♪

What's the matter
with you, Wally?

Well, it's just that
I got transferred

into Mr. Foster's
English class at school.

What's wrong with that?

Well, he's Julie's father,

and the guys have been
giving me the business,

saying that I'm
playing up to Julie

just to get good marks.

Boy, that's the neatest
reason I ever heard of

for going with a girl.

Beaver, that isn't the reason.

Oh. What are you worried about?

I'm worried about the guys
giving me the business!

Yeah. I know how it is, Wally.

Once, when I was
in the second grade,

the guys started
giving me the business.

They started saying
I drank gutter water,

but I never did
drink gutter water,

but they said it so much,
my stomach started feeling

like I did drink gutter water.

Boy, what a mess.

Well, why don't
you just tell Dad

the guys are giving
you the business?

Nah, I don't think so.

If I tell him, he'll just say

that what other people
say shouldn't hurt me,

and that I should just stay
in there and do my level best.

Yeah, he once told me that

when a big guy
was picking on me.

Man, I almost
got killed that time.

Cleaver, if you have
something to say, speak up.

Well, um, I didn't want
to disturb you, Mr. Foster.

I thought you might be
thinking or something.

Well, thanks for the compliment.

What is it?

Well, um, I was, I was wondering

if I could be transferred
out of your English class.

Mr. Cleaver, you have been
in my class exactly one day.

Don't tell me you've
already found out

that I am a monster.

Gee, no. I haven't
found that out yet at all.

I mean, well, um,
it's something else.

Yes?

Uh, you know your
daughter, don't you?

Well, I do have a nodding
acquaintance with her, yes.

Yeah, well, I've been taking
her out a couple of times,

you know, like,
like to the movies

and walking her home and stuff.

Yeah, so she's told
me. What about it?

Well, it's, it's
just that the guys

have been kind of giving
me the business, you know,

saying that, uh, I've
been taking out Julie

on account of I knew I was
going to be in your English class,

and you'd give me a better mark.

Well, now, that's
quite a theory.

Uh, do you, by any chance,

think it might
work out that way?

Oh, gee, no, Mr. Foster,
but, well, I was,

I was just thinking
about the mess I'd be in

if I did get an A.

Well, I'm afraid
that is a disaster

you might just
have to live with.

You mean, you mean
I can't transfer out.

That's exactly what I mean.

You know, Mr. Cleaver,
in the business world,

it might be a good policy to
go out with the boss' daughter,

but in my class, you are
going to get an A or an F,

my daughter's big blue
eyes notwithstanding.

Yes, sir.

Oh, and Cleaver, do you
mind if I give you a bit of advice?

No, sir.

In life, it might
just be a good idea

to do the best you can

and not worry so much about
what other people are saying.

Oh, I take it my advice
doesn't impress you.

Oh, well, it's, um,

it's just that I've heard
it before from my father.

Ward?

Yeah, dinner ready?

No, honey, not for a while.

Ward, I think you ought to
go upstairs and talk to Wally.

He came home from
school today quite upset.

Well, did he say what
he was upset about?

No, and that's what worries me.

If I a boy doesn't
tell his mother

what he's upset about,
it must be about a girl.

We've always agreed about
this going steady business.

Well, all right, but it may
be just an upset stomach.

You know, a girl and indigestion

affect a fella pretty
much the same way.

Well, gee, Dad, I, I
never thought of myself

as going steady with Julie.

Well, you have been seeing
quite a lot of her lately, haven't you?

Well, I, uh, I've taken her to
the movies a couple of times,

and, uh, and I walk
her home every day,

and I, I did have lunch
with her in the cafeteria.

Yeah, Dad, and he's
been taking baths

and smelling good, too.

That's a sign he's
going flaky for her.

Now, look, Wally,
you're too young

to be seeing so
much of one girl.

You have high school
and college ahead of you.

And, anyway, it
isn't fair to Julie

to take up so much of her time.

She should have the opportunity
to see some other boys.

Well, yeah, you're right,
Dad, but, well, she...

She asked me to ask her to
go to the movies next Saturday,

and, and she wants us to
go to that dance next week.

It's just that I, well...

That you what, son?

He wants to know
how to dump her, Dad.

Well, Wally, that's something

that you just have
to do gradually.

You just, uh, see
her a little less,

and a little less,
and then... Wally!

What is it, Mom?

Telephone. I think
it's Julie Foster.

Okay, Mom.

Well, I, uh, I guess
this would be a chance

to start giving her
the hint now, huh?

Oh, boy! I want
to listen to this!

Beaver, you're going
to stay right here.

Yes, sir.

Gee, Dad, I sure
hope on the phone

Julie doesn't start
to cry or something.

Boy, I wouldn't know what
to do if a girl started to cry.

Well, I'll tell you
something, Wally.

Nobody does.

I think it's a bad connection.

There's some sort of a
crackling noise on there.

Hello, Julie?

Hey, what's that
crackling noise?

Oh.

She's just eating celery, Mom.

Uh, could I be excused, Mom?

Oh, certainly.

Uh, hello, Julie? Uh, no,
no, that wasn't anybody.

It was just my mom.

Hey, uh, look, about
the movies next Saturday,

and that dance next week,

um, a previous engagement
forces me not to attend.

No, I'm not kidding.
What are you laughing at?

Look, I've been
thinking it over, and...

Well, it's just not
fair to the other guys

not to let them meet ya.

And besides that, I
have to finish high school,

and then I have
to go on to college,

and then I... Julie? Hey, Julie.

Well, son, how'd you make out?

I don't know, Dad.
She hung up on me.

You know, you might
have gotten a break there.

She could have started crying.

Who was that at the door?

Eddie Haskell.

He, uh, dropped by to
borrow a book from Wally.

Was he as polite as usual?

Oh, even more so.

Then we'd better
keep an eye on him.

I'm planning to.

Thank you, dear.

So you really gave
her the brush-off, huh?

Well, I, uh, I told her

that I didn't think I
could see her anymore.

Boy, whoever told you to
do a goofy thing like that?

Our father did.

Busting up with his daughter,
Mr. Foster will slaughter you!

You'd be lucky if you get an F.

Look, Eddie, I already
talked to Mr. Foster,

and he said that
taking Julie out

wouldn't have anything
to do with my mark.

Well, sure, he said that,

but say he's marking
your test paper,

and she's there,
bawling her eyes out.

He says, "What's the
matter, my darling daughter?"

And she says,
"That big nasty rat,

Wally Cleaver,
broke my little heart."

Right there, he
gets the hatchet out.

You're dead, Sam!

Well, gee, Eddie, I, I never
thought about it like that.

Well, sure, boy.

You had it made,
and what did you do?

You go ape.

Wally! You on your homework?

It's okay, Dad. Eddie
was just leaving.

Well, I'll see you, boy.

You know what you just did, Sam?

You just blew Princeton.

Cleaver, I thought we went
all through this yesterday.

There is absolutely no chance

of your being transferred
out of my class.

Well, yes, sir, but, um...

Something kind of
happened since yesterday.

You see, I was talking
on the phone with Julie.

That's your daughter.

And, uh, well, we, um,
we kind of had a fight.

I mean, I didn't yell at
her or anything, but...

Well, she hung up on me.

Oh, I see.

And now your friends are
saying that because of that,

I will probably
fail you in English.

Well, yeah, yeah,
and one of the guys

said you'd get the hatchet out.

Well, now, you
listen to me, Cleaver.

Whether you are on good terms
with my daughter or bad terms,

you're going to get exactly
the mark you deserve.

Is that clear?

Yes, sir.

Wally, who puts these
ridiculous ideas into your head?

Well, it's, it's, it's
just one of the guys.

Well, when you
see Eddie Haskell,

would you ask him for me

to please mind his own business?

Well, yes. Yes, sir, Mr. Foster.

Well, what did he say, boy?

He told you to mind
your own business.

Okay, okay, but
you just wait and see.

Some other sharp operator is
going to start going with Julie

and end up on the Honor Roll.

Ah, cut it out, Eddie.

You're the only guy
that thinks like that.

Oh, yeah? Take a look.

Man, the Lump has got it made.

Well, you boys are
very quiet tonight.

What are you thinking about?

Well, I was just
thinking what I'd do

if I was a pig
eating people's ribs.

Beaver, please.

What about you, Wally?

Well, I was just thinking

about the test we
had in English today.

It's the first test of
the new semester,

and Mr. Foster is reading
the marks tomorrow.

Well, you studied hard for it.

I'm sure you have
nothing to worry about.

Well, gee, Dad, you always
have something to worry about.

You can get all
the answers right,

and then they still nail
you for punctuation,

or spelling, or neatness,
and junk like that.

Sure, Dad.

Well, I once failed a test

just 'cause I used
the wrong color paper.

John McClain, C+.

Alfred Thomas, A-.

Edward Haskell, C+.

Ellen Reynolds, C+.

Wallace Cleaver, A-.

Katherine Van Horn, B.

Clarence Rutherford, F.

F, Mr. Foster?

Yes, Mr. Rutherford.

That's the lowest mark
they allow me to give.

Boy, oh, boy.