Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 4, Episode 1 - Beaver Won't Eat - full transcript
Beaver in general does not like to eat green vegetables. At this evening's dinner, he doesn't want to eat the Brussels sprouts on his plate. He does whatever he can to get out from eating them - even hiding them in his shirt pocket. But June, finding where he's hidden them, insists that he eat them. In private, June and Ward disagree on whether they should make him eat the sprouts, June insisting that he does. So she ultimately provides Beaver an ultimatum: eat the Brussels sprouts, or else he is not allowed to go to dinner out and the major league football game the rest of the family is going to tomorrow evening. Beaver still refuses to eat them. June doesn't like the thought of leaving Beaver out of their family outing, but she also doesn't want to back down from what she said she was going to do. Ward, June and Beaver come to a compromise, but that compromise comes a little sooner and in a more embarrassingly public manner than they were all expecting.
[Announcer] Starring...
and...
[mother] Beaver, eat
your Brussels sprouts.
Gee, Mom, I can't.
My stomach's still
right up to my throat.
Now, no excuses.
Hey, Dad. What time's the
game start tomorrow night?
I'll have to look
at the tickets.
I think it's 8:00.
Yep, 8:00.
Boy, that sure is going
to be a great game.
It should be.
Two of the best pro
teams in the country.
Mom says we're
going out to dinner, too.
Oh, you bet.
The Cleavers are going
to really make a night of it.
And, uh, incidentally, Beaver,
I don't want you horsing around
too much tomorrow afternoon,
because you're
going to be up late.
Sure, Dad.
Beaver.
I told you to eat
those Brussels sprouts.
Gee, Mom. Look at my plate.
You just spread them around.
Ward, tell him to eat.
Beaver, go ahead.
Okay, Dad.
Yeah, this should be the big
game of the exhibition season.
Yeah, but I think the
Packers will win it.
They're using that
double wing back this year.
[Ward] That's the old
Pop Warner system.
[Wally] Yeah, but they
work it kind of different.
You got a pencil and
paper? I'll show ya.
Well, I'd appreciate that.
You see, uh...
They put, they put one, uh, one
halfback way out here on the wing.
[Ward] I see.
[Wally] And then they stick
an end in here in the slot
to, uh, draw the defense over.
Mm-hm. What's the
fullback doing in all this?
Well, he stays back
to block on passes,
as they send him into motion.
Mm-hmm.
Beaver!
It must have dropped in there.
Ward, don't you
have anything to say?
About what, dear?
Beaver's putting Brussels
sprouts into his pocket!
Oh, Beaver, you
shouldn't do that.
Let's talk about using
the old double reverses.
Ward, I asked you
to see that he ate.
Uh, eat, Beaver.
Ward, could you forget
football for just one minute?
I want him to eat!
Gee, Mom. I don't like 'em.
Beaver, they're
perfectly delicious.
Why, Wally ate
every single one of his.
Well, sure, Beav.
All you've gotta do
is hold your breath
and gulp them down.
Beaver, why don't you do
what your mother wants, son,
before they get cold?
Gee, Dad. I can't eat 'em.
I don't like 'em!
Well, June, perhaps if, uh...
Perhaps nothing!
It's the same thing every time
we have a green vegetable!
Now, he's gonna eat them,
and that's all there is to it.
All right.
Beaver, you're gonna sit
there until that plate is clean!
Wally, you can come down
for your dessert later on.
Yes, Mom.
Dear, don't you think
you're sort of making
a mountain out of
a Brussels sprout?
No, Ward, I don't!
He's getting to be a poor eater,
and I just can't let him
get away with it anymore.
He's going to be sick if he
doesn't eat the proper foods.
Well, I'm sure
you're right, dear, but,
uh, I think he eats
as well as any kid.
I'm not interested in any kid!
I'm interested in Beaver, and
I'm gonna just let him sit there
until he eats them.
Yeah, but they're
probably cold by now.
It doesn't make any difference.
Yeah, but a, a cold sprout,
that's about as appetizing
as a soggy sponge.
Ward, that's unfortunate,
but he should have eaten
them when they were hot.
Ward, take a peek through
the crack in the door.
Maybe he's eating.
I'll lay you two to one.
No action.
[door slamming]
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't
mean to startle you.
Oh, uh, that's all right, Eddie.
Well, I thought you'd
still be at the dinner table,
and I came by to get
a book from Wally.
Wally's upstairs, Eddie.
Oh. Well, I hope
I didn't interrupt
whatever you were peeking at.
[Ward clearing throat]
We were peeking
at Beaver, Eddie.
We just wanted to make sure
he finished his dinner, that's all.
Oh.
Well, I guess if you
can't trust a child,
you do have to spy on him.
Wally is upstairs, Eddie.
Well, thank you, Mrs. Cleaver.
Ooh, that kid!
Hey, Beaver!
What do you want, Eddie?
Hold the fort, kid.
They're cracking!
You know, dear, it's just
a few Brussels sprouts.
Maybe we ought to
forget the whole thing
and just send
him up to his room.
Very well.
If you wish, I'll handle
this situation by myself.
You, uh, you really mean that?
Certainly.
Well, swell. I
think I'll go down
and, uh, get a
paper or something.
A fine father you are!
Oh, what do you want me to do?
I think you should go in
there and talk to Beaver.
All right.
Ward?
Be firm.
Be firm.
- Beaver?
- Yes, Dad.
How long do you
propose to sit there?
I don't know. Maybe till I die.
Aw, Beaver.
Look, you've learned in school
how important vegetables are,
how they... how they're full of
minerals and vitamins that you need to,
well, to give you a balanced diet
and to build a strong, healthy body.
- You know all that, don't you?
- Yes, sir.
Well then, why don't you
eat your Brussels sprouts?
Because I don't like 'em.
[Ward clearing throat] Well
then, uh, look at it this way.
Why don't you just forget
they're Brussels sprouts.
Pretend they're, uh,
uh, little heads of lettuce.
I don't like little
heads of lettuce either.
Well, are we eating?
Beaver, I have
had enough of this.
Now, you're either going to
eat those Brussels sprouts,
or you're not going with us
to the football game
tomorrow night.
Oh, Mom.
I'll get a sitter, and
you can stay home.
Now, you just make up your mind.
You're not going to?
All right, you just go
on up to your room.
Go on.
And you just forget
about that football game.
I'm sorry. I just
don't like 'em.
You, uh, really
mean that about, uh,
taking the football
game away from him?
Of course, I do, and
you're going to back me up.
Oh, sure. Don't I
always back you up,
even when you're wrong?
Ward, do you think I'm wrong
to insist that Beaver
eat what's good for him?
No, but, I, uh, think
you were a little drastic
taking the game away from him.
Oh, well, now just a minute!
You're his father.
If you'd have gotten him to eat,
I wouldn't have
had to go that far!
I, uh, think I'll go get
that paper now, dear.
Boy, I'd like to get the guy
who invented Brussels sprouts.
Well, gee, Beaver.
What's wrong with them?
I like 'em, and millions
of people like 'em.
How come you don't like 'em?
I just don't like 'em.
Well, look at all the farmers
who raise Brussels sprouts.
You don't want to put
them out of business, do ya?
Nah.
Just let them sell them
to the millions of people
who like them, and let me alone.
Ah.
Hey, Eddie, pick out
the book you want.
I'm gonna go down
and get my dessert.
Gee, I can't go to the game.
Look, kid. Don't worry.
I guarantee they'll take ya.
They said they wouldn't.
Ah, that's just how
parents operate.
They like to push you around.
Scare you. You've
got rights, too.
They always tell me I don't
know what's best for me,
'cause I'm just a little boy.
And they'll keep telling
ya that 'til you're 20.
If you let them
get away with it.
You really think they'll
take me to the game, Eddie?
Sure.
They'll let you
suffer for a while.
And tomorrow, they'll come
up with some sort of a deal.
What kind of a deal, Eddie?
How do I know?
Just sit around and look sad.
They'll break down.
I'll see ya, kid.
See ya, Eddie.
Hey, Mom. Where's Dad?
He went out to get a paper.
Oh.
Did your brother say
anything upstairs?
No. He just said he'd
like to clobber the guy
that invented Brussels sprouts.
Well, I've gotta be going.
I'll see you tomorrow, Wally.
Yeah, okay, Eddie.
Uh, good night, Mrs. Cleaver.
Good night, Eddie.
Uh, where's Mr. Cleaver?
He went out to get a paper.
Oh?
Well, I sincerely hope
everything works out all right.
Thank you, Eddie.
Well, good night.
Good night. Yeah, see ya, Eddie.
Hey, Mom. Do you really mean it
about not letting Beaver go
to the game tomorrow night?
I certainly do!
He was disobedient, and
he deserves to be punished.
He's staying home
tomorrow night.
Boy, this is funny, Mom.
What's funny?
You talking like this.
Dad's usually the
one who leans on us.
[Wally whistling]
Hey, what are you
doing sitting up here?
I'm waiting for a deal.
A deal?
Yeah, from Mom and Dad
about taking me to the big game.
Eddie said that's
how parents operate.
Gee, Beav, they
didn't say anything
about making any deal
at the breakfast table.
Eddie guaranteed it.
Aw, you shouldn't
listen to him, Beav.
Anyway, if they were gonna do
anything, they'd have done it by now.
Nah, Eddie said they'd
let me suffer for a while.
Okay, go ahead and suffer.
I'm gonna go up and lump my
dirty clothes together for mom.
Have you, uh, thought
anymore about last night, dear?
Why, I don't think there's
anything else to think about.
No, I suppose not.
What sitter are you
getting for Beaver?
Mrs. Bronson.
Oh, Mrs. Bronson.
Better call her, dear.
You know, she's
pretty much in demand.
Well, dear. I think
I'll call her later.
After all, I don't
want to wake her up.
Wake her up? Well, it's 10:30.
Well, I know it is, dear.
But after all, she might
have been out late last night.
Yes, yes, that's true.
And then, of course, if you
stall around for another hour,
she just might've
taken another job,
and we'd have to take Beaver.
Ward, Ward, I don't
know what to do.
I just feel terrible about
leaving Beaver home,
but I can't let
him keep deciding
what he's going to eat and
what he is not going to eat!
Well, you know, dear, there
just might be another way.
Like what?
Well, um, suppose Beaver
would promise that, uh,
when we have Brussels
sprouts again, he'd eat 'em.
You think he'd go along with it?
Wouldn't do any
harm to put it up to him.
All right. I'd settle for that.
Come on. Let's go
get him down here.
I just hope he isn't up
there crying his eyes out.
Oh, Beaver!
Do you want me, Dad?
Uh, well, yes.
I thought you would.
Well, I'll go up and
get Wally's laundry.
Uh, come on in the den, son.
[knock on door]
Oh, hi, Mom.
I got all my dirty
junk together.
Good.
Your father's downstairs
talking to the Beaver
about going to the game tonight.
You guys are giving in, huh?
Wally, we are not giving in.
It's just that, well, we
love you boys so much,
we like to give you
another chance.
Oh, sure, Mom. I know how it is.
I have trouble being
mean myself sometimes.
I hope you remember that
next time we have to punish you.
What about this one?
Well, heck, Mom.
That's a dark color.
When I'm wearing
it, nobody can tell
whether it's dirty or not.
Well, anyway, Beaver,
your mother and I
have been sort of discussing
the situation, and, uh,
we'd still like to give you a
chance to go with us tonight.
So, uh, we thought we might
arrive at some sort of a, of a...
Deal?
Yeah, I guess you
could call it that.
Anyway, I'll tell you what, son.
If you'll agree to eat Brussels
sprouts the next time they're served,
you can go with us to dinner
tonight and see the game.
Well?
Well, gee, Dad. Couldn't we
make another kind of a deal?
Another kind?
Yeah, like cutting
out my allowance,
or makin' me do
something I don't like to do,
like taking more baths
than I have to or something.
Beaver, I'm not going
to bargain with you.
But, gee, Dad.
I don't want to make a promise
and then not be able to keep it.
Come here, son.
I'm sure you could
keep your promise.
You are? Sure, I am!
Maybe I know you better
than you know yourself.
- I don't know.
- I do.
If you'd promise to
eat 'em, you'd eat them.
You can take my word for that.
Well, okay. I'll take
your word for it.
Atta boy.
I'll go tell Mother
it's all settled.
Well, it's all settled!
He promised.
No ifs, ands, or buts?
No, sir, a clean deal.
Ward, I'm so glad he's going.
I'll tell you what, honey.
I'll call the restaurant
and make a reservation
for, uh, about 6:30.
That ought to give us plenty
of time to get to the game.
You know something,
Ward? You're a genius.
Oh, sure.
I've been trying to tell
you that for years, dear.
Boy, I sure hope we
get mashed potatoes
with our roast beef.
I think we will, Wally.
Hey, Dad. How come
olives are green?
Well, you'd be green, too,
if you were in a
bottle that long.
Uh, olives, dear?
No, thank you. Sit
up straight, Beaver.
Put your napkin
in your lap, son.
[music in background]
Beaver!
Break your bread
before you butter it.
Beav, you don't think we came
out to dinner to have fun, do ya?
Well, I think any boy who ate
two shrimp cocktails is having fun.
Sure, Dad.
I like fish that
don't have eyes.
I don't like something looking
at me while I'm eating it.
You are having a good
time, aren't you, Beaver?
Sure, Mom.
I never had a better
time in my whole life.
Here's our dinner.
Hey, Dad, after dinner,
could I have two desserts?
Well, we'll see.
If you get ice cream
on top of your pie,
it only counts as one dessert.
Coffee, lady?
Yes, please.
And milk for the boys, please.
Huh, well, uh, Brussels sprouts.
I think I can find
my way home alone.
Beaver, you
promised your father.
I know, but I didn't know it
was going to be this soon.
Beaver, sit down!
Now, Beaver, you promised.
Now, you go ahead and eat them.
But if I eat them,
I'm liable to get sick!
You will not be sick!
Is there something wrong?
Oh, no. That's okay, miss.
I don't think he's
really gonna get sick.
I don't like Brussels sprouts.
I can bring you something
else, some carrots or peas.
No. No, he's going to eat them.
Yes, ma'am.
I never forced my children to
eat anything they didn't want.
Yes, well, I would
prefer that he ate them.
Poor little dear.
Ward, are you just
going to sit there?
No, no.
Uh, Beaver, you did
promise to eat them
the next time they were served.
I know.
I thought I could, but I can't.
I'll go home. I'm not
afraid of the dark.
Yeah, and I'll go with him.
Heck, I didn't want to
see that game anyway.
Oh, he's such a sweet child.
Don't send him home.
Thank you, madam.
What seems to be the trouble?
No, no trouble at all.
The little fella doesn't
like Brussels sprouts.
Well, that's no problem, sonny.
We'll change these
for something else.
After all, we want
everyone to be happy.
Thank you very much,
but I think we've had about
all the happiness we can stand.
Oh, very well, sir.
Beaver, this is
very embarrassing.
Now, come on, son. Just try one.
Come on, for your dad.
Well, go on, Beaver.
Swallow it.
Yeah. Yeah, go ahead, Beaver.
Come on, be a sport.
You know something?
I think it's gonna
stay down there.
Fine, Beaver. Try another one.
Hey, Mom. Can I still
have two desserts?
Yes, Beaver, I think
so. [Ward laughing]
Boy, for a minute there, it
was pretty close, huh, Dad?
Yes, Wally, it was.
But dear, why do they
have so many timeouts
at the end of the game?
Why don't they have
some in the middle
when the men are tired, too?
Oh, well, by saving
their timeouts,
the team that's behind
can stop the clock.
You see, they used to use
the fake injury play, but...
[chuckling] Look,
you had a good time.
You enjoyed the game.
Why spoil it by trying
to understand it?
I guess you're right.
Well, I thought you'd
gone off to bed, Beaver.
Yeah, Dad, I did, but I came
down here to tell you I'm sorry.
- Sorry?
- Yeah.
I should have eaten
the Brussels sprouts
the first time you told me to.
You mean, because you
found out you liked them?
No, I mean, because Wally says
you only tell me stuff like
that when it's for my own good.
That's right, Beaver.
Did you think we
enjoy nagging at you
and telling you
to sit up straight,
and eat this, and eat that,
and don't do this, and do that?
Sure, Dad.
I thought that was half
the fun of being parents.
Not at all, Beaver.
It's something we
really hate to do,
and we'd rather not
have to do it at all.
Well, gee, Mom.
If I had any kids,
I wouldn't do anything
for them I didn't want to do.
Oh, yes, you would, Beaver.
You'd do it because
you loved them,
even if it did hurt you or
upset you a little at times.
I'm sorry if I made you
miserable at being your kid.
But Beaver, you've made us
very happy by being our kid.
Well, from now on, I'm going
to do whatever you tell me to do.
Well, Beaver, I
appreciate your saying that,
but I don't think we can expect
any boy to do everything he's told.
Gee, Dad. Why not?
Well, well, because sometimes
us parents lay it on pretty heavy,
and sometimes we ask
kids to do things they...
Well, they just
couldn't possibly do.
Hey, Dad, are you admitting
sometimes Mom and
you do make mistakes?
Yeah, Beaver. I guess I am.
Boy, Dad. That's pretty neat.
That's pretty neat.
[Ward laughing]
Go on up to bed.
Okay, good night,
Dad. Good night, Mom.
Good night. Good night, Beaver.
Thanks for the use
of the book, Wally.
Oh, that's okay, Eddie.
Yeah, I read ten pages.
I faked a pretty good
book report out of it.
Hey, you want to mess
around for a while?
Nah, I've gotta be going.
I promised my father
I'd clean the cellar.
Gee, Eddie. I
thought you didn't let
your parents push you around.
I don't!
I just happen to
like cleaning cellars.
Wise guy.
He doesn't really like to
clean cellars, does he, Wally?
Of course not.
and...
[mother] Beaver, eat
your Brussels sprouts.
Gee, Mom, I can't.
My stomach's still
right up to my throat.
Now, no excuses.
Hey, Dad. What time's the
game start tomorrow night?
I'll have to look
at the tickets.
I think it's 8:00.
Yep, 8:00.
Boy, that sure is going
to be a great game.
It should be.
Two of the best pro
teams in the country.
Mom says we're
going out to dinner, too.
Oh, you bet.
The Cleavers are going
to really make a night of it.
And, uh, incidentally, Beaver,
I don't want you horsing around
too much tomorrow afternoon,
because you're
going to be up late.
Sure, Dad.
Beaver.
I told you to eat
those Brussels sprouts.
Gee, Mom. Look at my plate.
You just spread them around.
Ward, tell him to eat.
Beaver, go ahead.
Okay, Dad.
Yeah, this should be the big
game of the exhibition season.
Yeah, but I think the
Packers will win it.
They're using that
double wing back this year.
[Ward] That's the old
Pop Warner system.
[Wally] Yeah, but they
work it kind of different.
You got a pencil and
paper? I'll show ya.
Well, I'd appreciate that.
You see, uh...
They put, they put one, uh, one
halfback way out here on the wing.
[Ward] I see.
[Wally] And then they stick
an end in here in the slot
to, uh, draw the defense over.
Mm-hm. What's the
fullback doing in all this?
Well, he stays back
to block on passes,
as they send him into motion.
Mm-hmm.
Beaver!
It must have dropped in there.
Ward, don't you
have anything to say?
About what, dear?
Beaver's putting Brussels
sprouts into his pocket!
Oh, Beaver, you
shouldn't do that.
Let's talk about using
the old double reverses.
Ward, I asked you
to see that he ate.
Uh, eat, Beaver.
Ward, could you forget
football for just one minute?
I want him to eat!
Gee, Mom. I don't like 'em.
Beaver, they're
perfectly delicious.
Why, Wally ate
every single one of his.
Well, sure, Beav.
All you've gotta do
is hold your breath
and gulp them down.
Beaver, why don't you do
what your mother wants, son,
before they get cold?
Gee, Dad. I can't eat 'em.
I don't like 'em!
Well, June, perhaps if, uh...
Perhaps nothing!
It's the same thing every time
we have a green vegetable!
Now, he's gonna eat them,
and that's all there is to it.
All right.
Beaver, you're gonna sit
there until that plate is clean!
Wally, you can come down
for your dessert later on.
Yes, Mom.
Dear, don't you think
you're sort of making
a mountain out of
a Brussels sprout?
No, Ward, I don't!
He's getting to be a poor eater,
and I just can't let him
get away with it anymore.
He's going to be sick if he
doesn't eat the proper foods.
Well, I'm sure
you're right, dear, but,
uh, I think he eats
as well as any kid.
I'm not interested in any kid!
I'm interested in Beaver, and
I'm gonna just let him sit there
until he eats them.
Yeah, but they're
probably cold by now.
It doesn't make any difference.
Yeah, but a, a cold sprout,
that's about as appetizing
as a soggy sponge.
Ward, that's unfortunate,
but he should have eaten
them when they were hot.
Ward, take a peek through
the crack in the door.
Maybe he's eating.
I'll lay you two to one.
No action.
[door slamming]
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't
mean to startle you.
Oh, uh, that's all right, Eddie.
Well, I thought you'd
still be at the dinner table,
and I came by to get
a book from Wally.
Wally's upstairs, Eddie.
Oh. Well, I hope
I didn't interrupt
whatever you were peeking at.
[Ward clearing throat]
We were peeking
at Beaver, Eddie.
We just wanted to make sure
he finished his dinner, that's all.
Oh.
Well, I guess if you
can't trust a child,
you do have to spy on him.
Wally is upstairs, Eddie.
Well, thank you, Mrs. Cleaver.
Ooh, that kid!
Hey, Beaver!
What do you want, Eddie?
Hold the fort, kid.
They're cracking!
You know, dear, it's just
a few Brussels sprouts.
Maybe we ought to
forget the whole thing
and just send
him up to his room.
Very well.
If you wish, I'll handle
this situation by myself.
You, uh, you really mean that?
Certainly.
Well, swell. I
think I'll go down
and, uh, get a
paper or something.
A fine father you are!
Oh, what do you want me to do?
I think you should go in
there and talk to Beaver.
All right.
Ward?
Be firm.
Be firm.
- Beaver?
- Yes, Dad.
How long do you
propose to sit there?
I don't know. Maybe till I die.
Aw, Beaver.
Look, you've learned in school
how important vegetables are,
how they... how they're full of
minerals and vitamins that you need to,
well, to give you a balanced diet
and to build a strong, healthy body.
- You know all that, don't you?
- Yes, sir.
Well then, why don't you
eat your Brussels sprouts?
Because I don't like 'em.
[Ward clearing throat] Well
then, uh, look at it this way.
Why don't you just forget
they're Brussels sprouts.
Pretend they're, uh,
uh, little heads of lettuce.
I don't like little
heads of lettuce either.
Well, are we eating?
Beaver, I have
had enough of this.
Now, you're either going to
eat those Brussels sprouts,
or you're not going with us
to the football game
tomorrow night.
Oh, Mom.
I'll get a sitter, and
you can stay home.
Now, you just make up your mind.
You're not going to?
All right, you just go
on up to your room.
Go on.
And you just forget
about that football game.
I'm sorry. I just
don't like 'em.
You, uh, really
mean that about, uh,
taking the football
game away from him?
Of course, I do, and
you're going to back me up.
Oh, sure. Don't I
always back you up,
even when you're wrong?
Ward, do you think I'm wrong
to insist that Beaver
eat what's good for him?
No, but, I, uh, think
you were a little drastic
taking the game away from him.
Oh, well, now just a minute!
You're his father.
If you'd have gotten him to eat,
I wouldn't have
had to go that far!
I, uh, think I'll go get
that paper now, dear.
Boy, I'd like to get the guy
who invented Brussels sprouts.
Well, gee, Beaver.
What's wrong with them?
I like 'em, and millions
of people like 'em.
How come you don't like 'em?
I just don't like 'em.
Well, look at all the farmers
who raise Brussels sprouts.
You don't want to put
them out of business, do ya?
Nah.
Just let them sell them
to the millions of people
who like them, and let me alone.
Ah.
Hey, Eddie, pick out
the book you want.
I'm gonna go down
and get my dessert.
Gee, I can't go to the game.
Look, kid. Don't worry.
I guarantee they'll take ya.
They said they wouldn't.
Ah, that's just how
parents operate.
They like to push you around.
Scare you. You've
got rights, too.
They always tell me I don't
know what's best for me,
'cause I'm just a little boy.
And they'll keep telling
ya that 'til you're 20.
If you let them
get away with it.
You really think they'll
take me to the game, Eddie?
Sure.
They'll let you
suffer for a while.
And tomorrow, they'll come
up with some sort of a deal.
What kind of a deal, Eddie?
How do I know?
Just sit around and look sad.
They'll break down.
I'll see ya, kid.
See ya, Eddie.
Hey, Mom. Where's Dad?
He went out to get a paper.
Oh.
Did your brother say
anything upstairs?
No. He just said he'd
like to clobber the guy
that invented Brussels sprouts.
Well, I've gotta be going.
I'll see you tomorrow, Wally.
Yeah, okay, Eddie.
Uh, good night, Mrs. Cleaver.
Good night, Eddie.
Uh, where's Mr. Cleaver?
He went out to get a paper.
Oh?
Well, I sincerely hope
everything works out all right.
Thank you, Eddie.
Well, good night.
Good night. Yeah, see ya, Eddie.
Hey, Mom. Do you really mean it
about not letting Beaver go
to the game tomorrow night?
I certainly do!
He was disobedient, and
he deserves to be punished.
He's staying home
tomorrow night.
Boy, this is funny, Mom.
What's funny?
You talking like this.
Dad's usually the
one who leans on us.
[Wally whistling]
Hey, what are you
doing sitting up here?
I'm waiting for a deal.
A deal?
Yeah, from Mom and Dad
about taking me to the big game.
Eddie said that's
how parents operate.
Gee, Beav, they
didn't say anything
about making any deal
at the breakfast table.
Eddie guaranteed it.
Aw, you shouldn't
listen to him, Beav.
Anyway, if they were gonna do
anything, they'd have done it by now.
Nah, Eddie said they'd
let me suffer for a while.
Okay, go ahead and suffer.
I'm gonna go up and lump my
dirty clothes together for mom.
Have you, uh, thought
anymore about last night, dear?
Why, I don't think there's
anything else to think about.
No, I suppose not.
What sitter are you
getting for Beaver?
Mrs. Bronson.
Oh, Mrs. Bronson.
Better call her, dear.
You know, she's
pretty much in demand.
Well, dear. I think
I'll call her later.
After all, I don't
want to wake her up.
Wake her up? Well, it's 10:30.
Well, I know it is, dear.
But after all, she might
have been out late last night.
Yes, yes, that's true.
And then, of course, if you
stall around for another hour,
she just might've
taken another job,
and we'd have to take Beaver.
Ward, Ward, I don't
know what to do.
I just feel terrible about
leaving Beaver home,
but I can't let
him keep deciding
what he's going to eat and
what he is not going to eat!
Well, you know, dear, there
just might be another way.
Like what?
Well, um, suppose Beaver
would promise that, uh,
when we have Brussels
sprouts again, he'd eat 'em.
You think he'd go along with it?
Wouldn't do any
harm to put it up to him.
All right. I'd settle for that.
Come on. Let's go
get him down here.
I just hope he isn't up
there crying his eyes out.
Oh, Beaver!
Do you want me, Dad?
Uh, well, yes.
I thought you would.
Well, I'll go up and
get Wally's laundry.
Uh, come on in the den, son.
[knock on door]
Oh, hi, Mom.
I got all my dirty
junk together.
Good.
Your father's downstairs
talking to the Beaver
about going to the game tonight.
You guys are giving in, huh?
Wally, we are not giving in.
It's just that, well, we
love you boys so much,
we like to give you
another chance.
Oh, sure, Mom. I know how it is.
I have trouble being
mean myself sometimes.
I hope you remember that
next time we have to punish you.
What about this one?
Well, heck, Mom.
That's a dark color.
When I'm wearing
it, nobody can tell
whether it's dirty or not.
Well, anyway, Beaver,
your mother and I
have been sort of discussing
the situation, and, uh,
we'd still like to give you a
chance to go with us tonight.
So, uh, we thought we might
arrive at some sort of a, of a...
Deal?
Yeah, I guess you
could call it that.
Anyway, I'll tell you what, son.
If you'll agree to eat Brussels
sprouts the next time they're served,
you can go with us to dinner
tonight and see the game.
Well?
Well, gee, Dad. Couldn't we
make another kind of a deal?
Another kind?
Yeah, like cutting
out my allowance,
or makin' me do
something I don't like to do,
like taking more baths
than I have to or something.
Beaver, I'm not going
to bargain with you.
But, gee, Dad.
I don't want to make a promise
and then not be able to keep it.
Come here, son.
I'm sure you could
keep your promise.
You are? Sure, I am!
Maybe I know you better
than you know yourself.
- I don't know.
- I do.
If you'd promise to
eat 'em, you'd eat them.
You can take my word for that.
Well, okay. I'll take
your word for it.
Atta boy.
I'll go tell Mother
it's all settled.
Well, it's all settled!
He promised.
No ifs, ands, or buts?
No, sir, a clean deal.
Ward, I'm so glad he's going.
I'll tell you what, honey.
I'll call the restaurant
and make a reservation
for, uh, about 6:30.
That ought to give us plenty
of time to get to the game.
You know something,
Ward? You're a genius.
Oh, sure.
I've been trying to tell
you that for years, dear.
Boy, I sure hope we
get mashed potatoes
with our roast beef.
I think we will, Wally.
Hey, Dad. How come
olives are green?
Well, you'd be green, too,
if you were in a
bottle that long.
Uh, olives, dear?
No, thank you. Sit
up straight, Beaver.
Put your napkin
in your lap, son.
[music in background]
Beaver!
Break your bread
before you butter it.
Beav, you don't think we came
out to dinner to have fun, do ya?
Well, I think any boy who ate
two shrimp cocktails is having fun.
Sure, Dad.
I like fish that
don't have eyes.
I don't like something looking
at me while I'm eating it.
You are having a good
time, aren't you, Beaver?
Sure, Mom.
I never had a better
time in my whole life.
Here's our dinner.
Hey, Dad, after dinner,
could I have two desserts?
Well, we'll see.
If you get ice cream
on top of your pie,
it only counts as one dessert.
Coffee, lady?
Yes, please.
And milk for the boys, please.
Huh, well, uh, Brussels sprouts.
I think I can find
my way home alone.
Beaver, you
promised your father.
I know, but I didn't know it
was going to be this soon.
Beaver, sit down!
Now, Beaver, you promised.
Now, you go ahead and eat them.
But if I eat them,
I'm liable to get sick!
You will not be sick!
Is there something wrong?
Oh, no. That's okay, miss.
I don't think he's
really gonna get sick.
I don't like Brussels sprouts.
I can bring you something
else, some carrots or peas.
No. No, he's going to eat them.
Yes, ma'am.
I never forced my children to
eat anything they didn't want.
Yes, well, I would
prefer that he ate them.
Poor little dear.
Ward, are you just
going to sit there?
No, no.
Uh, Beaver, you did
promise to eat them
the next time they were served.
I know.
I thought I could, but I can't.
I'll go home. I'm not
afraid of the dark.
Yeah, and I'll go with him.
Heck, I didn't want to
see that game anyway.
Oh, he's such a sweet child.
Don't send him home.
Thank you, madam.
What seems to be the trouble?
No, no trouble at all.
The little fella doesn't
like Brussels sprouts.
Well, that's no problem, sonny.
We'll change these
for something else.
After all, we want
everyone to be happy.
Thank you very much,
but I think we've had about
all the happiness we can stand.
Oh, very well, sir.
Beaver, this is
very embarrassing.
Now, come on, son. Just try one.
Come on, for your dad.
Well, go on, Beaver.
Swallow it.
Yeah. Yeah, go ahead, Beaver.
Come on, be a sport.
You know something?
I think it's gonna
stay down there.
Fine, Beaver. Try another one.
Hey, Mom. Can I still
have two desserts?
Yes, Beaver, I think
so. [Ward laughing]
Boy, for a minute there, it
was pretty close, huh, Dad?
Yes, Wally, it was.
But dear, why do they
have so many timeouts
at the end of the game?
Why don't they have
some in the middle
when the men are tired, too?
Oh, well, by saving
their timeouts,
the team that's behind
can stop the clock.
You see, they used to use
the fake injury play, but...
[chuckling] Look,
you had a good time.
You enjoyed the game.
Why spoil it by trying
to understand it?
I guess you're right.
Well, I thought you'd
gone off to bed, Beaver.
Yeah, Dad, I did, but I came
down here to tell you I'm sorry.
- Sorry?
- Yeah.
I should have eaten
the Brussels sprouts
the first time you told me to.
You mean, because you
found out you liked them?
No, I mean, because Wally says
you only tell me stuff like
that when it's for my own good.
That's right, Beaver.
Did you think we
enjoy nagging at you
and telling you
to sit up straight,
and eat this, and eat that,
and don't do this, and do that?
Sure, Dad.
I thought that was half
the fun of being parents.
Not at all, Beaver.
It's something we
really hate to do,
and we'd rather not
have to do it at all.
Well, gee, Mom.
If I had any kids,
I wouldn't do anything
for them I didn't want to do.
Oh, yes, you would, Beaver.
You'd do it because
you loved them,
even if it did hurt you or
upset you a little at times.
I'm sorry if I made you
miserable at being your kid.
But Beaver, you've made us
very happy by being our kid.
Well, from now on, I'm going
to do whatever you tell me to do.
Well, Beaver, I
appreciate your saying that,
but I don't think we can expect
any boy to do everything he's told.
Gee, Dad. Why not?
Well, well, because sometimes
us parents lay it on pretty heavy,
and sometimes we ask
kids to do things they...
Well, they just
couldn't possibly do.
Hey, Dad, are you admitting
sometimes Mom and
you do make mistakes?
Yeah, Beaver. I guess I am.
Boy, Dad. That's pretty neat.
That's pretty neat.
[Ward laughing]
Go on up to bed.
Okay, good night,
Dad. Good night, Mom.
Good night. Good night, Beaver.
Thanks for the use
of the book, Wally.
Oh, that's okay, Eddie.
Yeah, I read ten pages.
I faked a pretty good
book report out of it.
Hey, you want to mess
around for a while?
Nah, I've gotta be going.
I promised my father
I'd clean the cellar.
Gee, Eddie. I
thought you didn't let
your parents push you around.
I don't!
I just happen to
like cleaning cellars.
Wise guy.
He doesn't really like to
clean cellars, does he, Wally?
Of course not.