Las Vegas (2003–2008): Season 3, Episode 18 - Like a Virgin - full transcript

Oh, my.
I gotta hand it to you, sweetie.

Who knew karaoke night
would turn into
the hottest party on the Strip?

Uh-huh. Ever since I karaoke'd
with P. Diddy and Henry Kissinger,

I knew I had to bring
the mike to Mystique.

It really loosens up the crowd.

You karaoke'd
with P. Diddy and Kissinger? Where?

Oh, some party. Let me tell you,
"Islands in the Stream"
never sounded so good.

Hey, Sam. Now?
I'm on my way.

Hey. They here?
Hey.

Uh, the limo driver just called
and he said that, uh,

Lipworth and his fianc?e
should be here any minute.



Are you okay?
You seem a little nervous.
I don't like to leave things to chance.

Lipworth is one of my most
important clients. His wedding
has to be absolutely perfect.

I'm sure you think
you and your people are doing
a great job, but, you know-

But-But-But nothing.
You do your job, I'll do mine.

You think the Montecito's
never hosted a wedding before?

A multimillion-dollar,
"Put Donald Trump's wedding
to shame" wedding? No.

And that's what it needs to be.
You realize that, right?
All right.

- All right. Let's get started.
- Jared, Lissy, welcome.

Sam, I've been in Vegas for almost
30 minutes, and I've yet
to play a single hand of blackjack.

Oh, well,
your favorite table's ready.

Someone's popular.

Look at those girls all over him.

Excuse me.
Excuse me.

Ladies love a good
karaoke singer, Danny.



- I was up there with you.
Where are my groupies?
- I said good karaoke singer.

I am good.
Am I not good?

Yeah. Your version
of Juvenile's "Back That Ass Up"-
Truly inspired.

Thank you.
Hi, Mike.

Call me.

Someone's very popular.

What can I say?
My game is tight.

- Lately, it's, like, any girl I talk to-
- Any girl you talk to?

Well, okay, not any-
Yeah, pretty much any girl.

I'm telling you,
when you're hot, you're hot.
Wait a minute.

Are you saying you think
you can get any woman you want?

I'm not saying anything of the sort.
That would be crass.
But recent evidence does suggest-

What about her?
What about her?

You think you can get
any woman you want?
Prove it.

Get her.

I'll go talk to her.
No, no, no. No, no, no.

I'll talk to her.
Well, come on. Let's go-

Solo mission, my friend.
Solo.

- This should be fun.
- Why? You know her?

I met her this afternoon.
Her name's Ava.

She's here for the
born-again virgins convention.

- They have a convention for that?
- Yeah, it's a serious trend.

Girls who aren't technically virgins
have a change of heart.

This should be fun.

- Hey, Ed.
- Danny, get up here right now.

Yeah, my shift doesn't start
for, uh, another hour.

Card counters have hit
two of the Strip hotels this month,

and the last shift report shows
big losses in the blackjack pits.

There is a card counter on the floor.
Your shift starts now.

You're from Phoenix?
What a coincidence.

You're from Phoenix?
No, but I had a cousin
that went to A.S.U.

We gotta go.
Ed thinks we may have a card counter.

- He wants us to get on it right away.
- Danny, I'm a little busy right now.

- It's fine. I was just leaving.
- Hey, w-wait.

Maybe we should continue
this conversation later, say, over a drink?

I don't think so.

Dude!
What?

- I almost had that.
- Sure, you did.

I'm so sorry. I'm new.
I must have tripped or something.

Patty. Patty!

Sir, needless to say,
we will pay for the shirt.

And if you'd like to stay,
everything is on the house.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Patty, this is the third time,
and you've only been here a week.

I know. It's just these shoes.
I'm not used to working in such high heels.

Please, Delinda, I really need this job.

I'm behind on my rent, and the only reason
my landlord is letting me stay-

Shh!
is because I told him I was working here.

Listen. You hear that?

What's that?
A thousand tiny violins.

Listen, I feel for you, girl,
but I'm trying to run a business.

If I have to pay for every shirt you ruin,
it's gonna break me.

Yes, ma'am. I'm sorry.

Okay, the gift bags are assembled
and waiting to be delivered
to the guest rooms.

Our florist has cornered the world market
on phalaenopsis orchids,

and the last 1,000 stems
are due to arrive tomorrow.

However, if for some reason they do not,
I have a shipment of tulips
ready to leave Amsterdam-

Mary, don't worry about it.
I'm sure everything's gonna be fine.

You're, like, the most relaxed bride
I've ever seen.

Relaxed?
Dress tells different story.

Stress melts the weight right off.

I don't know what happened.
I had a fitting last week in Paris.
It fit perfectly.

Don't worry.
Happens to every bride.

Thanks for coming over, Galina.
I know it's after hours.

For someone so rich, she's so nice.
Not always that way.

- Galina!
- No, it's fine.

Actually, I'm not rich.
Or I wasn't until recently.

I met Jared when
I was a secretary at his company,
so this is all new to me.

Hmm. Wow.
It's like a real-life Cinderella story.

Please. I was a secretary,
not a scullery maid.

So, this is what a hundred grand
worth of dress looks like.

Hundred thousand dollars?

Like I said, it's all new to me.

Anything?
Here's tonight's big winner-
Nick Sperreos.

His take alone could account
for our elevated losses.

You think he's counting?
Betting patterns don't suggest it.

Card counter sits at a table
and only bets big when he's
determined the deck is rich, right?

But look.
Sperreos moves from table to table,
winning everywhere he goes.

No time for him to count
before he places his bets.

Maybe he's lucky.
Maybe. Or maybe
he's working with a team.

All right. Keep going over this footage.
I'm gonna check out the floor.

It's colder than a witch's
you-know-what in here.

- I must've asked 'em a dozen times
to turn down the A.C.
- Twenty thousand.

Suspicious female, red hair, gold top,
heading for the west exit.

Thank you.

Mr. Sperreos,
I'm with casino security.

Will you come with me, please?
Sorry, but I've gotta be going.

Kind of a rhetorical question.

What the hell?
What'd I do?
You tell me.

We're not even married yet,
and already you're staying out
the whole night.

Doesn't bode well.
Honey, I am on a roll here.

Don't you have any more
wedding plans to go over?
No.

We're done for the night,
and so are you.

All right.

Hey.
Hello.

You know, I told Donald Trump
that our wedding...

would make his little Palm Beach shindig
look like hot wings and Schlitz
by comparison.

Well, if anyone can trump Trump-
Our staff has been working
for months to make sure...

that your wedding is the grandest,
most elegant affair
this town has ever seen.

Good. That's what I want.

Come on.

Even when she was a secretary,
she was always the boss.

Sweet.
Yeah, sweet. He's up on us
by over a million dollars.

Why are you still
such a hopeless romantic?

You're weird.
You're weird.

And another thing.
Lipworth is spending a lot more
than a mil on this wedding.

So while your commission
might be affected by the fact
that he stopped playing,

the Montecito will still
come out way ahead,
which is all I care about.

Pretty sassy there, sassafras.
Too much?

I like it.
I'm still working on it.

- Hey.
- Hey.

I've identified possible accomplices.
What a coincidence.
Back-room 'em.

Let's go, people.

Okay, boys.
What do we got?

So, every time Sperreos
sits down at a new table,

I think he's getting a verbal cue
from someone who's been playing there
for a while, betting the minimum.

- Like this guy.
- This guy's doing the countin'.
He's passing the count on to Sperreos.

Could be. Without audio,
it's hard to know for sure.

The guy in the bolo tie did say
something about asking us to turn down
the air conditioning a dozen times.

A dozen?
Yeah.

Could signal a count of plus twelve,
which means the deck is rich.

- And Sperreos did, uh,
bet the max when he sat down.
- What about her?

My guess, she's the spotter.
She signaled to Sperreos
as soon as she saw me coming.

- Mike?
- As far as I can tell,
she watches the counters,

then signals to Sperreos
to enter the game when the deck is rich.

Look. She's been sitting
at that slot machine all night,
but barely plays.

And her eyes don't leave
the blackjack pit.

I checked the time codes.
About a minute before
Sperreos enters a game,

she gets up and cheers
like she's just won a jackpot.

Only look at that machine.
She ain't won no jackpot.

So now we know how
she gets him into the game.
Have we seen these people before?

Nope. I'm working up
background checks as we speak.

- That's them in holding, right?
- Mm-hmm.

Let's start with Sperreos.
Could be some fun, right?

Hmm.

You can't prove anything.
And even if I was counting,
it's not illegal.

See, that is technically correct.

But, see, here in Vegas,
we have a different kind
of a justice system.

Like in the old days,
we could take a cheat
and have him disappear in the desert.

It wasn't terribly illegal.
I mean, technically speaking.

To be honest with you,
I'm an old school kind of a guy.

Please.

- I promise, I won't come back.
- Oh, no, no, no.

You're not coming back.
You couldn't come back.

See, now that we have your picture,
it's in the black book.

If you set foot anywhere
in the Montecito property,
I will personally have you arrested.

You hear me?

Jack. Hey, Jack!

Get this guy out of here.
Come on.

Here's a guy who beats us
out of 300,000.
We gotta let him go.

Well, you know as well as I do
counting's not illegal...

unless you got a mechanical device,
which he didn't.

At least we got to have
a little fun with him.
Come on. End of story.

No, no, no, no, no.
It's not the end of the story.

These guys are too good,
and they got too much money.
So I'm thinkin'...

they're part of some
sophisticated card-counting operation.

Now, if someone
is bankrolling 'em,

schooling 'em,
it's not the end of anything.

Hey. Hey. Hey!

It's Mike from last night at Mystique.
Oh, right.

The guy who's not from Phoenix.
That's me.

Well, see you, Mike.
Wh-

Ava. Ava.
Ava, wait.

You know, there's so many
other cities I'm not from.

Des Moines, for example.
I'm not from Des Moines.
Albuquerque.

Fascinating as this is,
I really have to go.
I'm crashing and burning, aren't I?

Finally, you've said something
I can relate to.

I think it must be something about you,
'cause usually I'm quite charming.

Is that so?
Quite charming.

Really? So this is my fault?
I can't see any other explanation.

You're saying there's
something wrong with me?
Not wrong, per se.

Well, what?

Well, it could be that
you're just so beautiful,
I get a little nervous around you.

Tongue-tied.

Excuse me.
It's Mike. Hey, Mary.

All right.
I'll be right there.

You know what we need to do here?

What's that?

We need to sit down,
have a drink and figure out
why this isn't working between us.

Thank you.
Sure.

Patty.

That was close.

Yeah. Whew.
Listen, we need to talk.

I know. I'm so sorry, Delinda.
I won't spill anything
on anyone again, I promise.

No, no, no. It's not that.
After I left last night,

someone told me
you started singing karaoke.

Did they say I was good?

Whether you were good is irrelevant.

Patty, you were on the clock.
You should have been waitressing,
not singing.

There was no one in my section,
and I really think I got the party going-
No, enough, Patty!

I should fire you.

No, Delinda, please.
Just give me one more chance.

Please.

Okay. One more chance.
Thank you!

Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
Okay.

Okay. Okay.

What's the problem?
My wedding dress, it's missing.

The seamstress said she had it
sent back here this morning,

but the bell desk doesn't have
any record of it ever arriving.

I need that dress.
I can't get married in anything else.

We have over 400 people arriving
for this wedding tomorrow-

heads of state,
captains of industry, Oprah.

Do you wanna tell Oprah
that the wedding's been canceled,

that she came to Las Vegas
for nothing?

No, no.
There's no need to tell Oprah.
We will find your dress.

And if we don't, the Montecito
will be happy to get you
another one just like it.

That dress is a one-of-a-kind
couture creation.

It took a dozen French ladies
a year to sew the beads on by hand.

- There's no other one like it.
- Do you know how much
that dress cost me?

A hundred grand.
For a dress?

- Yeah.
- This is a big problem, Sam.

You better find that dress.
And if you don't find it for some reason,
well, suffice to say,

I am not paying for one damned orchid
or spoonful of caviar unless
I'm enjoying them at my own wedding.

- Sir, we have a contract-
- Take me to court! I dare you!

Whoa, whoa. Hold on.
We will find the dress.
I am on it.

Hey, Danny, you wanted me to look out
for big blackjack winners?

We got one.
Monitor 56. That's him.

The Montecito's already laid out
almost a million dollars in food,
flowers, decor, entertainment.

If this wedding doesn't happen
as scheduled
and Lipworth refuses to pay-

Even if we get him to pay for the wedding,
I'm still gonna lose his future business,

which, to the Montecito over time,
is gonna mean a whole lot more
than a million dollars.

You guys really think
someone stole that dress?

What's the street value
on something like that?
I don't know.

What about that seamstress Galina?

You need to check out that woman.
As soon as she found out how much
that dress cost, she was real interested.

Uh-huh.
Okay.

- Mike.
- Hey.

Hey. What ever happened
with that girl from last night?

Ava? I'm meeting her
for drinks later.

Really?
Mm-hmm.

You let me know how that goes.

So, this crew was using
the same techniques that, uh,
Sperreos and his crew were using?

Yeah. It seems
bigger than we thought.

We catch one team,
they send another within a few hours.

If we don't find out who's behind this,
we might as well open up the vault
and let people carry cash out the front door.

That's a lovely image.
There's no need to be so dramatic.
I'm just saying.

Who's in charge of the operation?
Get your hands off me.

- You better start talking to me now,
you little rat bastard.
- What?

- You gonna get old school on me, huh?
Take me out into the desert?
- I'll show you a little old school.

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
Who said anything about the desert?

- You been talking to Sperreos?
- Say "no."

Go ahead. Say "no."
Look, I've done nothing illegal.
I know my rights.

I also know you better take your hands
off me, because defending their president
against an assault charge...

will cost the Montecito
a hell of a lot more than
I could ever win playing blackjack.

You're a smart kid.
Go ahead. Get out.

Get out of here!
Get out!

That was good.

You think I take this dress?

I just wanna know what happened.

I do the alterations, give the dress back
to Montecito messenger.

Simple, simple.
You don't believe? Check tape!

You have surveillance cameras
in your shop?

I sew real diamonds on costume
for Elton John.

Fifty carats. Compared to that,
this dress worth nothing.

Galina protects Galina.

Mike thanks Galina.
I mean, thank you.

You're free to go.

- Where are we going?
- I'm trying to help you, Patty.

Help me?
Lord knows why
I take on these projects.

I've always been the one to try
to save the baby bird even though
I know it might have rabies.

Hyper-compassionate,
my third grade teacher called it.
Birds can get rabies?

Whatever. The point is, Patty, I like you,
but your current skills
are not up to Mystique standards.

So that's why we're out here-
so you can learn to be a better waitress.

Oh, well, then,
let me go and get my tray.

Not so fast, missy.
Before you do, you watch.

That's Christina,
one of our best waitresses.
See how she does it?

Knees bent, back straight.

But more than anything,
it's about confidence.
Confidence.

Look how she manages
to serve one customer
while taking an order from another...

and simultaneously dodges that creep,

who seems to think
grab-ass is something sanctioned
by the Nevada Gaming Commission.

- Wow. She's good.
- Check out Sarah.

Tray full of martinis
with their high center of gravity.
The hardest drink to carry.

Tell me about it.
But see?

She never even looks at the glasses.

She simply trusts in her ability
to do it right, and voil?.

Very Zen.
You- not so Zen.

I'll try to be more Zen, Delinda.
I swear, I'll-

That's just it. You can't try.
You have to be.

Just breathe with me, Patty.

Shoulders back. Breathe.

That's it. Now, watch these girls
and learn from them.

Be the booze, Patty.

So you just want me to sit here being
until Mystique opens?

Well, just be glad
I didn't make you wax the cars
in the parking lot Karate Kid style.

Got it.
Watch. Learn.

Zen.
Excellent.

Just call me sensei.

Mike Cannon.
What can I do for you, sir?

Vic, this morning, you sent over
one of your guys to pick up
a dress at the Forum shops.

Yeah.
Do you remember who you sent?

The seamstress gave me
a surveillance video, but I couldn't
make out the messenger's face.

I sent the new kid- Bart.
You wanna talk to him?

Yes.
Hey, Bart!

Bart, you went on a run to pick up a dress
this morning to the Forum Shops?

Nah, I never made that run.

Why not?

I was on my way out the door
when Joey C. stopped me,
volunteered to go himself.

I figure, I'm new.

I don't wanna make waves.
Plus, he's got seniority.

Hey, Vic, you know where
I can find Joey C?

Afraid not, Mike.
He up and quit this morning.

Pull up VideoIQ on Joey C.
and get his address for me.

Thanks.
Hi.

Is Wolfgang here?
No.

Flower delivery.
Oh, sir, I'm sorry. Those have
to go straight back to the ballroom.

Thanks.
Well, you think
you can help me out, Mary?

I'm supposed to be meetin'
this girl here later-Ava.
She is-

I like her and wanted to arrange
something really special,
knock her socks off.

Is that the champagne? All right.
The wine cellar is behind the bar.

So you think you can help me out?
Are you blind, Mike?
I'm a little busy.

- Where should we, uh-
- Sorry I asked.

Could you just put that
into the kitchen for me?
Thank you.

Caviar?
Hi.

Hi. Oh, hi! You can put that
right into the walk-in for me.

Thank you.
You know what that was?
No.

Wild Caspian Sea caviar.
Know how much it costs?
Mm-mmm.

Practically priceless.
As of this year, it's illegal to import.
But Lipworth wanted it at any cost,

so I had Wolfgang's people track down
every last ounce of it in the U.S.

If we get stuck
footing the bill for this wedding-
You're not feeling so sassy now, are you?

Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no!
Not there! Not there!

There. Freeze it here.

Hello.
Okay, just let it play.

- Why would he have her cash in his chips?
- Did you hear anything about the dress?

Hang on.
I.D. her from our records,
would you? What?

- That girl?
- You know her?

- Yeah, it's Candy.
- Who's Candy?

Candy, Candy. You know.
She's the girl all the hosts call
when a whale wants a blonde.

Not me, 'cause I know prostitution's illegal
in Clark County, but some of
the other hosts, they like to call Candy.

You know where we might be able
to find Candy?

Candy?
That's me.

Danny McCoy,
Montecito surveillance and security.

Sounds official.
You gonna arrest me, "Officer"?

How do you know Nick Sperreos?

I don't.
Then why were you cashing in
his chips?

Okay, you got two choices.
You can either talk to me,

or I talk to the cops about
your extracurricular activities.

Cops don't scare me.

Okay, wait, wait, wait.
Fine, fine, fine.

Here. Fine.

That's it.
All right, I know Nick.

How?
He came in here a few times
with his friends.

Well, are any of these his friends?

Recognize any of them?

Yeah, I think so.
Nick's a good kid.

One time, he asked me
to meet him in the casino
to cash in chips for him.

Says he'd give me five percent
of everything I cash.
So you've done this for him before?

Well, I guess he figured a girl like me
wouldn't arouse suspicion.

Strippers get tipped with chips
all the time.

Look, all I know is it's great money
for five minutes work,
and I don't have to take my clothes off.

Okay.
Why do you care anyway?

'Cause Sperreos and his partners
might be involved in
some kind of a card-counting ring.

Do you know anything about that?
Hmm?

No. I just figured
they were a bunch of rich kids.

Kind of quirky, but-
Somebody's behind this,
and I need to find out who.

You have any idea who might be
training these people, bankrolling 'em?

One time, they came in here
with an older guy.

Fat stack of hundreds. Great tipper.
Kinda seemed like their leader.
You remember his name?

Yeah, they called him "Bucky."

I remember because
it kind of rhymed with-
Thank you.

Mitch, you got that
VideoIQ footage of Joey C?

Yeah. Monitor 36.

Play it back fast-forward.

Hang on. Look.

Someone's paying him off.
Can you widen the image, see who it is?

- Uh, no, but I can bring up another angle.
- Okay.

Oy.

Sam!
Yeah.

I think I found our culprit in the case
of the missing wedding dress.
What? Did you call the police?

No.
What do you mean, "no"?

It was Lissy.
Lissy?

You mean, like,
Lipworth's fianc?e Lissy?

Oy.

We need to talk.

Did you find my dress?
No, I didn't find your dress.

But I think you already
know that, don't you?

I know that you paid the bellman
to get rid of your dress.

What I cannot figure out is why?

I guess... I just panicked.

This wedding, the details,
the excess, the cost-

It just got so suffocating, I thought
if I put the wedding off for a while,

I could, I don't know, breathe.

Hmm.

Listen.

If you wanna leave the guy, I think
it's kind of a strange way to do it.
Well, that's the thing.

I don't know
if I wanna leave him.

I love him, but-
But his life-

I mean, how many of those 400 guests
do you think are my friends?

People always say
this is a Cinderella story.
I'm not Cinderella.

I'm just a regular girl
from Bayonne, New Jersey.
And I may not know much,

but I know that having a wedding
that costs 10 times
the amount of my parents' house-

That isn't right.
I know that.

Right.
So I got to thinking,

well, if the wedding isn't right,
maybe the marriage isn't either.

Jared and I are so different.

I don't know.
I'm-

I'm gonna say
you should just be honest with him.
Just talk to him.

I mean, what harm can it do?

Yo.
You get anything
from those background checks?

They were probably using false identities.
D.M.V. search didn't turn up anything.

How old do you think these kids are?

None of them look older than 21, 22.

That's what I was thinking.
Danny, I got
those yearbooks you asked for.

Thank you.
Here you go.

Ah. You're thinkin'
they're in college.

We'll see.

Got 'em. I got 'em. Since we didn't
know their names, I thought
I would start with what we do know.

We know that they're all in their mid-20s
and they all have the mathematical ability
to count cards, right?

So they might have been recruited
from some college math department
like those M.I.T. guys back in the '90s.

Then I remembered, what ultimately
brought that M.I.T. crew down?
Yearbook photos.

Given how quickly the second team arrived,
I thought I would start
with local universities first.

- I hit pay dirt with Nevada State.
- You did a nice job.

- Thank you.
- Come on. Let's take a little field trip.

See? I'm glad we did this.

Me too.
Ah.

But, you know,
this will never work out between us.
Why is that?

'Cause you seem like an amazing guy,
and I tend to have an affinity
for the less amazing ones.

Well, maybe it's time
for a change.
Maybe it is.

Listen, Mike, before this goes any further,
there's something I should tell you.
Okay.

I'm a born-again virgin.
A what?

Yeah. I'm here in Vegas
for a renewed virginity convention.

Renewed-

What exactly-
Well, I've had sex.

You know, plenty of it.
I mean, I used to love when I just-

Got it.
Right. Um-

So I've just made a lot of bad decisions
with men in the past,

so I decided clean slate time,

and I made a vow of chastity
until I get married.

Aha.

I mean, just because
I've given my gift before
doesn't mean it's any less precious.

I've just rewrapped it.
And now I know...

the only man that deserves
to unwrap the gift is my husband.

Aw. Yeah.
Check, please.

The registrar lady sure was nice.

Good.

What's up?

You ever think
about going back to school?

Me? Yeah.
Yeah, I sure do sometimes.

You know, I'd go back,
get me an anthropology degree,

go down to the rain forest
and, uh, study indigenous people.

Really?
You're an idiot.

You know, I could have handled
this myself, "Dad."
Well, go handle it.

What's up, Ruben?

If you touch me, I'll-
I'll call my lawyer so fast,
it'll make your head spin.

You'll call your lawyer?
Yeah.

How do you like these kids today?
That's what they do.
They call lawyers.

- What do you want?
- Where's Bucky?

I don't know what you're talking about.
I don't know anyone named Bucky.

Whoa, listen.
We have surveillance footage of you
robbing and cheating the Montecito.

- I don't think these graduate schools
take too kindly to that kind of thing.
- That's right.

I make one call to
the admissions office at Caltech,
you can kiss your future good-bye.

Then again,
there's Jin Ho and Sun Ja Kim.
I don't know what they'd think.

Please, don't tell my parents.

Okay. Let's just have a little chat.

Hey.
Hey.

I thought you and Ava had a hot date.
Uh, not so hot.

You ever hear of a born-again virgin?

Yesterday. Ava told me about it
when I met her at the spa.

So this whole time, you knew?

I'm sorry, but all that boasting about
how you can get any girl you wanted
was getting pretty insufferable.

You set me up.
Yes, I set you up...

with a beautiful, sweet girl.

And you're just gonna let that go
'cause she wouldn't sleep with you.

Mm-hmm.
Honestly, Mike, shameful.

I thought you were better than that.
Mm-hmm.

You know what?
I am.

Hey, where are you going?

Hi, Mike.

Probably won't even need you.

Hey.

Mike. I wasn't expecting you.

I know.
Ava, uh, I'm sorry.

I acted like a complete idiot.

I guess I just needed some time
to process all of this.

You think you could find it in your heart
to give me a second chance?

Is that room service
with the whipped cream, babe?

Excuse me?

- Whoa!
- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

What-

What was all that stuff
about your "precious gift"?

'Cause, see, to me, this looks like
Christmas morning with wrapping paper
tore up all over the floor.

Look, I've been born-again,
like, five or six times now.

Oh.

So why would you with him
and not me?

I've been trying to change.

I thought you seemed like
the kind of guy who would understand.
But then, you just got so freaked out.

I guess I just felt so bad
that our date ended the way it did,

I just slipped back
into my old ways.

So this is my fault?

I'm really sorry.

That's it. You're fired.

Well, I took your advice.

I talked to Jared,
told him everything.
And?

The wedding's off.

- I'm sorry.
- Don't be.

I said the wedding's off,
not the marriage.

Oh.

Bucky trains his crew here?

Hey, Ruben, you try anything funny,
I got your parents on speed-dial.

Very good choice.

Bucky.

Hey, Danny McCoy.
How are you?

- Mr. Buckner?
- You know this guy?

He was my high school
math teacher.

Are you still over at Vegas South?
No, I went to night school.
I got a doctorate.

I'm at Nevada State University now.
Nevada State University, huh?
Nice.

So how about you?
What are you up to these days, McCoy?

Well, I'm head of surveillance
and security at the Montecito.

Yeah.

Danny, I can- I can explain.
How could you do this?

You remember Mrs. Buckner?

Yeah, she was my, uh,
history teacher sophomore year.
Why?

Last year,
she ran off with Coach Kajoyan.

Alimony payments are killing me.

I got night school debts.

Look, Danny,
countin' cards is not illegal.

But, uh, tax evasion is.

Tax evasion?
You guys won a lot of money
in a lot of casinos.

I'm willing to bet
somewhere along the way...

some of that money
wasn't reported to the I.R.S.

Please, don't bring the I.R.S.-
Take it easy.

Look, you keep all these card counters
out of the Montecito,
we'll let this whole thing go.

How's that?
Thanks.

But before any one of these kids leaves,
Danny has to get
their picture and information.

They'll all be black-booked.
You understand?
Yeah.

Good. All right.
Danny, you got your, uh, camera phone?

Yeah.
Okay, well, get started then.

Where are you going?
I'm gonna get a little mu shu pork.

Excuse me. Hold on.

What was that dish there
on the left?

Can you see who that is?
No.

Well, she's amazing.

Oh, my God.

So did you miss the flowers,
the caviar, the Oprah?

No. I got everything I need
right here.

You know I didn't really care
about any of that stuff.

I just wanna make you happy.
I know.

The only thing that matters to me
is spending the rest of my life with you.

Good-bye.
Bye.

Hmm. Sweet.

Hmm. He's still paying
for the wedding, right?

Oh, yeah.
Sweet.

Whoo!

Whoo! Patty!

- Patty.
- Delinda, I'm so sorry.

I thought that since you fired me-
I mean, is it okay that I-
Yes, yes, yes. It's okay.

You-You were amazing!
It's more than okay.

Thanks.
Listen, I used to date this guy.
Huge record executive.

He has got to hear you sing, honey.
What?

Really?
I'm gonna make you a star.

Oh! Okay.

We gotta work
on the whole huggin' thing.
All right.

Ow.