Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County (2004–2006): Season 2, Episode 6 - I Hate Valentine's Day - full transcript

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[Alex H] Okay, so wait.
Stephen called you the other day?

-Yeah, he wants to go out to dinner.
-[birds chirping]

-Really?
-Because he's coming to town

for the weekend, so, I don't know.

It'll be fun to catch dinner with him.
I haven't seen him for a while.

I think the last time
I saw him was Lo's party

because we had a little bit
of a falling out because of Matt.

-[chuckles]
-Does he think it's like

a date or more like--

Well, he asked me
for Valentine's Day, so I guess a date.

-You're a pimp. [chuckles]
-Yeah. I'm a P-I-M-P. [chuckles]



["Come Clean" playing]

♪ 'Cause perfect ♪

♪ Didn't feel so perfect ♪

♪ Trying to fit a square
Into a circle was no life ♪

♪ I defy ♪

♪ Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams ♪

♪ Let it wash away my sanity ♪

♪ Because I want to feel the thunder
I want to scream ♪

♪ Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean ♪

♪ I'm coming clean ♪

["Come Clean" concluding]

["No Love in February" playing]

[waves crash]

Okay. This is Lauren's house.



-It's a mansion.
-[Patrick chuckles]

[Lo]
Mansion overlooking the ocean literally.

-[squeals] Baby cakes!
-[Lauren squeals] Hi!

Hi!

-How are you?
-[Lauren squeals] Good.

-Good?
-What's up?

-LC, this is Patrick.
-Hi. I'm Lauren.

-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.

This is my boyfriend. [chuckles]

[Patrick] This house is amazing.

-[Lauren] Thank you.
-[Lo] Isn't it pretty?

Lo, where's your house?
Can you see it from here?

-I see it.
-[Lo] It's like a little speck

-out of all the specks.
-[music fades]

So how long have you guys
been officially together?

-[Patrick] Officially?
-Uh-huh.

-I don't really count.
-Since like right before winter break.

[Lo] We just kind of guesstimate.

-[Patrick] Couple months.
-I don't--

[Lauren] I don't think Lo has ever
made over a month. [chuckles]

Hey, watch it. I actually like him.

Well, you should feel very special.

-[Patrick] Well, that's good.
-Mm-hmm.

[Lo] So, who's your newest valentine?

Yeah, I don't have a valentine.
[chuckles]

-[Lo] You're lying.
-[Lauren] No, I swear,

-I don't have a valentine.
-You're lying.

-You're lying.
-[Patrick] Aww. Sorry, LC.

-It's okay. I'm just gonna--
-[Patrick] I think you'll find someone.

[Lo] What is up with Stephen?

-[Lauren] He didn't call me.
-What a butt face.

-["No Love in February" playing]
-He's got his own thing.

[smacks lips] I hate Valentine's Day.

♪ There's no love in February ♪

[music stops]

-[Stephen] Yeah, guy.
-How you doing?

Uh. Surprise, surprise.

What are you up to?

-I don't know.
-[grunts]

-I'm in town just for the weekend.
-Oh, man.

Yeah. I'm gonna take
Kristin out to dinner

just for, like, a little
Valentine's Day dinner, nothing--

Nah, not even,
like, anything special. I just…

I don't know. I need a valentine.

-Just can?
-I just…

or just… just… [sighs]

No, I don't know.
Yeah. Lauren's pissed.

I didn't call her or anything,
so I owe one for her.

I'll make it up to her. But, yeah,
no one really knows I'm in town so…

DL.

So what are you doing?
Got a little Valentine's Day?

-Got a good night, good night.
-Yeah, mine is strictly friendly.

-Mine is strictly sex.
-[chuckles softly]

♪ No love in February ♪

[Kristin] I hate Valentine's Day.

You hate it?
At least you have something to do tonight.

I probably shouldn't
have said yes to going out

to dinner with him, huh?
Is that leading him on?

-I don't know. Probably, but whatever.
-"Probably but whatever."

-Well, what do you want me to say?
-I don't know. [chuckles]

Billy, get your ass over here.

-[Alex H] I feel like such a loser.
-[Kristin] Why? You have Billy.

You guys are complaining
how you hate Valentine's Day,

but you both have something to do.

I just spent $100
on cookie stuff, and candles.

That's so cute.

-How do you spend $100 on candles?
-[Kristin] You don't do anything

-like that for me.
-Candles can be expensive.

[Jessica] I'll do something like that
for you next time, okay, Kristin?

Jessica, Jason is calling your phone.

-I'm not even kidding.
-What?

[Alex H] Jason is calling.
Should I get it?

No, let me answer.

I'm just kidding. I'm bored. [chuckles]

[both chuckle]

-You stupid bitch, I was so excited too.
-I know you were.

-I knew if I said that, you'd come out.
-[chuckles]

♪ It's a beautiful life ♪

♪ When you love another
It’s a beautiful life ♪

♪ When you rediscover ♪

♪ There's a surprise
When you open your eyes ♪

[whistles]

Aw. Hello.

-Oh, Stephen.
-[Stephen] These are for you.

-Thank you. How are you?
-How are you? [grunts] You look good.

[Kristin] Thanks. So do you.

-[chuckles]
-You love it? [groans]

-Where we going?
-Rumari's.

-Oh, that place is so good.
-Yeah, it is.

-[chuckles] It's very romantic.
-[mimics] Very romantic.

What'd we do last year
for Valentine's Day?

-We didn't do anything. That's the thing.
-[Kristin] Oh!

-'Cause we weren't going out.
-It was just, like, in between…

The week before was winter formal,
and that's when I like…

-Yeah.
-…hated you.

What do you mean?
We had fun at winter formal.

I was-- Oh, well…

-Are you serious?
-Wait. What did we do after?

Uh. I don't know.
You were grabbing Lauren's ass

the whole night and,
like [bleep] her basically.

-[clicks tongue]
-[Kristin chuckling]

Shut the [bleep] up.
Uh. Don't even mention that right now.

♪ Good loving ♪

♪ To brighten up the day ♪

[Courtney]
This is going to be so pretty, Jess.

He better appreciate it.

He won't. He's Jason.
He doesn't appreciate anything.

If he doesn't appreciate it,
I will call him myself

and be like,
"Jason, I'm gonna kill you."

-Courtney!
-[Courtney chuckling]

-I'm nervous.
-Jessica, he's just your boyfriend.

He's just coming over
to have dinner with you.

-I know, but-- Okay.
-[Courtney] I love you, bye.

-Bye. Have fun.
-Thank you for helping me.

I'm going to tell him
he better appreciate it.

-Okay.
-And tell him to be really nice.

-Okay. I will.
-Okay. I love you.

-[Courtney] Have fun.
-[indistinct chatter]

I don't know, but I like…
I like San Francisco a lot though.

-I like all the kids I've met up there.
-You're glad that you went there?

No, no, I'm for sure glad,
but I was always glad

that I went up there. There's no way
I was going to hang around here,

but I… I remember I was tripping out
a lot over that winter break.

-Yeah, we weren't friends winter break.
-We weren't friends. [scoffs]

Remember when I met you
at the beach the first time

I had seen you in forever?

Remember Lo's party?

Yeah. You were gnarly…
but… [smacks lips] …it worked its way out.

[chuckles]

-[cutlery clattering]
-So have you been dating?

-Nope.
-No? Are you lying?

-No.
-That's good.

[footsteps approaching]

-Holy [bleep].
-Oh…

-[Kristin chuckles] Thank you.
-[waiter] You're welcome. Enjoy.

[Stephen] I appreciate it.
This place is really nice.

-No kidding.
-[Stephen] I like this restaurant.

[Kristin] I don't know how to eat it.

[chuckles] Yours looks so little
compared to mine.

Do you want a bite? There you go.

-Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
-[Kristin] So good.

-[Stephen] Mm-hmm.
-[Kristin] Um.

Yeah, every time I see you,
I feel like… like it's fine, you know.

It's like… Um. Whatever.

-You know what I'm trying to say?
-What?

[Kristin]
Like, it's not weird whenever I see you.

[Stephen] It couldn't be weird with you.

Whenever I'm around you,
it's like I get in that mood,

-usually.
-Yeah.

[instrumental music playing]

♪ Just breathe ♪

-[Jason] What's up, dearest?
-Hi, hon!

-Happy Valentine's.
-[Jessica] Thank you.

-[smooches]
-I like that jacket a lot.

-[Jason] Thank you.
-You like the candles?

-You overdid yourself.
-[Jessica] Huh?

[Jason]
How long did it take you to do this?

[Jessica] Forever.

-We're sitting over here on the floor.
-Looks good.

-The one place I could get--
-You can have a pillow.

I'll sit on the couch. [chuckles]

No, you're gonna sit
on the floor with me.

All they had was San Shi Go,
like to takeout,

-I just got us chicken dinners.
-[Jessica] Mm!

[cutlery clattering]

-Thank you. [chuckles]
-[Jessica] Do you need a fork?

-Kind of desperate. You know?
-[chuckles]

-You want one too?
-Get a knife too. No.

I'll eat with my fingers. Thanks.

-[indistinct chatter]
-[Kristin] This is good.

[Stephen] It's weird,
but I would never think

-I'd be sitting here with you right now.
-Yeah.

[Stephen] Not even three years ago,
but a month ago.

[Kristin] It's funny
how we're so, like, off and on.

-Shut up.
-[Kristin chuckling]

You're so full of yourself.

This is my third Valentine's Day
with you.

[indistinct chatter]

[Kristin clicking tongue]

-Where's your parentals?
-[Jessica] My madre is upstairs.

Oh…

-[sighs]
-Your dad hates me now. I can tell.

[Jason] You're just a bad influence on me.

-How?
-[Jason] It's not… I don't know.

I shouldn't be with you.

-["Psycho" playing]
-[munches]

[cutlery clattering]

♪ The guy is a psycho ♪

♪ And everybody saying
That I must be crazy… ♪

Don't talk to me
'cause I'm just a bad influence.

♪ He loves me, he hates me ♪

[bleep]

♪ Doesn’t really matter
'Cause I know we are who we are ♪

[rock music playing]

-[Jessica] How was dinner?
-Um. It was fun.

-[Jessica] Was it awkward like usual?
-Uh-uh. Like not at all.

-Good.
-Like it was--

-I'm glad we went out to dinner.
-[cabinet closing]

-Was it friendly or like…
-Mm-hmm.

-…"Oh, Stephen."
-[Jessica] "Oh, Stephen."

[chuckles] No, it was more fr-- For me,
it was more friendly but--

[Jessica] Apparently for him, it's not.

You guys are just really, really,
really compatible with each other.

-[Kristin] We fit like--
-And like, yeah.

That's why we fight so much
'cause we're, like, so--

-[Jessica] Alike?
-[Kristin] Yeah.

[Alex H] Jess, how was dinner
last night?

Oh, the most, like, awkward thing ever.

This is the one year where I was like,

"Yes, I have a boyfriend
that I actually like,

and it'll be mellow,
and it'll be Valentine's Day."

And then it wasn't the same

as it used to be.
There's something, like, different,

and he never calls,
never wants to hang out.

-I have no sympathy for you…
-[Alex H] At least he didn't laugh at it.

…'cause you let it happen to yourself,

-and I've already done the…
-♪ La, la, la, la… ♪

…"I'm sorry, Jess.
Like maybe it's this,"

and now I'm like,
"You know what? [bleep] Jason.

He's a [bleep] to you,"
so I have no sympathy for you.

But see, after you guys break up
a couple months, you're going to look back

and be like, "What the hell was I doing?"

[Jessica] I think I'm just gonna
have a little talk with him.

[Kristin] Like this week. You know?

-I hate Valentine's Day.
-[Kaitlyn] It's my least favorite holiday.

You know when you're little
they have those little mailboxes,

and everybody gets a valentine?
It's fun then.

Now it's like, "Who's your valentine?"

You're like,
"I don't have one, okay? Rub it in."

It reminds you

-if you don't have someone--
-That you're alone.

-[Lauren] That you don't have someone.
-Yeah.

-Exactly.
-[Lauren] And if you do have someone,

you shouldn't have to have a… a holiday

to like remind someone
that you care about them.

["All The Way" playing]

♪ Hesitating here ♪

♪ Start to step in here ♪

♪ Again ♪

-[shopkeeper] How can I help you?
-Get some chocolate.

-[chuckles]
-[shopkeeper] Okay. Okay.

-Thanks.
-That's $31.94.

[Stephen]
Thank you. Thanks a lot. See you.

♪ All the way, I'll choose to take it ♪

♪ All the way ♪

♪ One more step, I'm closer ♪

Hey, Lauren. Can you answer the door?
I'm just getting out of the shower.

Awesome.

♪ All the way ♪

♪ Be with you forever ♪

Oh, my God.

-[screams]
-[Stephen] I missed you so much!

[Stephen] Hi.

-[grunts]
-[screams, chuckles]

-These are for you.
-[gasps]

-And these are for you.
-[chuckles]

-[chuckles]
-[Lauren chuckles]

What are you doing here?

-I came home.
-[chuckles]

Just for the night so…

-[chuckles]
-[Lauren] Yeah.

Almost called you
to see what you're doing.

I'm just like, "Nah,
I just won't call her, just show up."

Shh. Hmm. Mm-hmm.

-Thank you.
-[Stephen] Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

I got in last night,
just chilled for the night.

Stephen doesn't have a valentine?

Why didn't you call me?
I would've hung out with you last night,

-nerd.
-Because surprise, surprise.

-[Lauren] So you leaving…
-I'm glad I got you.

-…tonight or tomorrow?
-[Stephen] I'm leaving in an hour or two.

-Are you really?
-[Stephen] Mm-hmm.

Whatever. Thank you very much.
You surprised me. That was sweet.

[Stephen] No worries.

[instrumental music playing]

Sweet.

-Which one do you want?
-I want a strawberry.

-I want a strawberry.
-He said he was here last night.

Weird. Wonder what he did last night then.

[smacks lips]

[Lauren's dad] Did he give you candy too?

-Mm-hmm.
-Yeah.

-You know what that means.
-What?

-I love you. There you go.
-[Kaitlyn chuckling]

[instrumental music playing]

[cellphone ringing]

[Jessica] Hello? Jason.

-[Jason] Hey, what's happening?
-[Jessica] Why are you being so mean?

-[waves crashing]
-[crickets chirping]

I'm not always mad at you,
but if you didn't lie,

then I wouldn't be mad
at you all the time.

[Jason] If I lie all the time
then why you wanna be with me?

So are you saying that you want
to just be friends now?

[gloomy music playing]

I agree with you. We got along
a lot better when we were just friends,

and if that's what you want,

then maybe we should go back
to being just friends.

I know. Sucks for me too.

I agree. Uh. You can just do whatever,
Jason. Doesn't matter.

♪ I'm crying ♪

Okay. Bye.

♪ Be brave, be brave ♪

[soft music playing]

-[chair thudding]
-[Cedric] No, that's my seat.

-[Jason] Oh, that sucks.
-All right. Cool.

♪ She said she… ♪

-Okay, tell me about the breakup.
-[Jason] I was just over it, dude.

We hung out probably like once
or twice a week like, for like an hour,

and, like, she was just like bickering
about what was wrong with me.

She said I kept-- I was acting weird

and I was like, "Whatever,"
and it's like, "Fine, I'll just..."

-I called her and did it over the phone.
-[indistinct chatter]

I'm just like, "This isn't working out."

-[cutlery clattering]
-[Cedric] So how'd she react?

I thought she was gonna, like,
kill herself.

Like, if you had done it a month ago,

-she probably would've.
-What do you bet?

-Not even…
-[Cedric] Yeah--

'Cause our relationship
was so [bleep] already.

I think she kind of expected it too.

Yeah.

[Jason] What, you wanna cruise?

Oh, I have to go…

-[indistinct chatter]
-…Jessica's real quick.

I'll drop you on the way.

Man, that's gonna be
the most awkward thing ever.

[Jessica] I was like,
"I think that's better too, Jason."

Blah… [bleep], and then I started crying.
He's like, "This sucks for me."

I was like, "How the [bleep]
does this suck for you, Jason?

Like, this is what you want.
How does this suck for you?"

And he's like, "It just sucks
that it has to be done over the phone,"

and I was like, "Jason, why do you think

I was trying to get you
to my house so hard?

It wasn't so we could, like, cuddle.
I'm like, "I was going to do this."

[cellphone ringing]

-It's Jason. Should I answer it?
-[Kristin] Yeah.

-Hello?
-[Jason] Hey.

Hi.

-[Jason] I was thinking…
-Okay. When are you coming over?

[phone static]

-[Jason] What?
-When are you coming?

-[Jason] Soon.
-Okay.

-[Jason] All right.
-Bye.

-[Jason] Bye.
-[cellphone clicks]

I don't understand
what the point of him

even calling me is.
He just calls me just to like call.

He's a little late. [chuckles]
You know? [chuckles]

[Jessica] I think he's here.
I think he's here.

You need to sit down, Jessica.

[Jessica] Oh, he's here! I'm so nervous!

Oh, great, now he just saw
you peeking over, you dumbass.

[Jessica chuckling]

-Come in!
-[Kristin chuckling]

-[Jessica] Right here?
-What up?

-[Kristin chuckling]
-[door closing]

-[sighs]
-Oh, my God, that was awkward. [chuckles]

-But, um, you two guys have fun.
-[Jessica] I love you.

-Love you.
-Jess, call me later.

-[Jessica] Okay.
-[door closing]

[exhales] Well, how was your day?

It was good. How was your day?

It was just great.

-What is so funny?
-Nothing.

-Because I don't find this very funny.
-[Jason] I'm sorry.

Would you stop with your
stupid little smirk and like…

-[imitates chuckle]
-[Jason] Okay!

Anyways, do you have
something you want to say

that you're not saying?

Yeah. Sorry for, like,
treating you like [bleep] pretty much.

[inhales] It's okay. I deserved it.

Why do you think
you treated me like [bleep]?

I honestly don't know why.

I just don't understand
why, like, it changed so much.

Uh. There's no reason.

Do you think it's possible
for us to be friends like before?

No.

["Heart-Shaped Bruise" playing]

♪ Should've saw it before
But let it slide ♪

[sighs] Well, I'm gonna get going.

♪ But do I let it go? ♪

♪ You gave me a heart-shaped bruise ♪

♪ Guess I am not over you ♪

[dial tone ringing]

[grunts]

-[Kristin] Jess.
-Hurry up and come here.

[Kristin] I'm coming.
I'm coming. I'm coming. Bye.

♪ Guess I am not over you ♪

♪ Baby, it hurts so good ♪

♪ But then it really should ♪

[Kristin] Hey.

[Jessica]
That was like the worst conversation…

-What happened?
-[Jessica] …I've ever had in my life.

I don't know-- even know
why I'm crying right now!

Stop. What happened? What happened?

-Come here, Jess. Aw…
-[sobs]

-I don't even know why I'm crying.
-It's okay.

He basically just told me
that he doesn't think

-we'll ever be friends again…
-What?

…and I'm the kind of person
where I blame everything on myself.

You know? I don't look at it like,
"Oh, Jason is doing this,

or Jason is doing that."
I look at it like

-"Oh, what if I had…"
-Jess, you can't blame this

-"…done something different?"
-[Kristin] …on yourself.

-But I do anyways, and that sucks.
-Why, Jessica?

You can't blame it on yourself.
You can't at all.

It's-- What did you do?
You didn't do anything wrong.

I feel so stupid too
because we were together for…

-[Kristin] Why?
-…what, like, two months,

and I'm, like, so upset about this,

but it's like we were
best friends for so long…

-[Kristin] I know.
-…and it's-- Now it's just [bleep] now.

-You will be friends.
-It, like, sucks.

-You will be.
-Like…

Maybe right now
you can't be friends, but you will be.

I did this whole thing with Stephen
for-- On and off for two years.

You can't keep thinking
about it like that.

-I know.
-I'm sorry.

-[sighs] I'll see you in the morning.
-Okay.

-Thanks for coming over.
-I love you.

-I love you too.
-["Heart-Shaped Bruise" playing]

♪ You gave me a heart-shaped bruise ♪

[speaking indistinctly]

♪ Guess I'm not over you ♪

♪ Baby, it hurts so good
But then it really should ♪

[music fades]

[rock music playing]

[rock music concluding]