Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County (2004–2006): Season 2, Episode 11 - Don't Hate the Game - full transcript

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Let's talk about Jeff.

I'm doing so good with Jeff

-and it's unbelievable.
-I know you are.

No, because like…
like, he called me this morning.

With Jason I was always the one
who would have to call first, always.

With Jeff, I'm like doing
the exact opposite

of everything I do with Jason
and it is like rewarding me.

-Yeah.
-So…

I'm like, finally my good karma
is catching up to me.

What's that say? It's like,
don't hate the player

hate the game, is that how it goes?



Don't hate the game, hate the player.

Don't hate the game, hate the player?

-Yeah.
-I hate the fucking game.

Look, I like you, I don't like you,

why does he have to mess
with you? I hate that.

If there was an answer to that…

-Oh, my God.
-…my, like, problems would be solved.

And it sucks because like,

you know how the girl
can play the game too,

like I don't know how to play the game.

-I don't know how to play the game either.
-I don't know how to do that.

I don't know how to play the game.

I feel like every time
I like talk to a guy,

I screw it up somehow because
I'm not playing the game good.



Cause you don't know
how to play the game.

-[bleep] that.
-I'm the exact same way.

I hate that. Whatever, I need
to learn how to play the game.

-Yeah.
-Don't hate the game, hate the player.

Let's leave the game
with the boys. [chuckles]

["Come Clean" playing]

♪ 'Cause perfect ♪

♪ Didn't feel so perfect ♪

♪ Trying to fit a square
Into a circle was no life ♪

♪ I defy ♪

♪ Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams ♪

♪ Let it wash away my sanity ♪

♪ Because I want to feel the thunder
I want to scream ♪

♪ Let the rain fall down ♪

♪ I'm coming clean ♪

♪ I'm coming clean ♪

['Come Clean" concludes]

["Hot Night Crash" playing]

[Kristin] Okay. Otherwise
it's not gonna pull.

♪ We've been here before ♪

-[Alex H] Let's just do it like that.
-[Kristin] Yeah.

♪ …And I'm halfway through your door… ♪

[chuckles]

[Alex H] Well, do you see
like a nail thing?

[Kristin] Yeah, there's one
like right there by you.

-Little and so like--
-[Alex H] Yeah.

That's not going in.
Whatever, that'll just--

[Alex H] Where should we put it,
like right here?

[Kristin] Yeah.

-Hey Talan, it's Kristin.
-["Hot Night Crash" concludes]

What are you doing? [chuckles]

Come to our fiesta.

Okay. Well, that's fine.

But it starts at 2:30,
so whatever, just come right now.

I never said that Morgan-- [sighs]
Hold on.

-Hey, Alex.
-What?

[inaudible mouthing]

It's not my house.

-Well, she can come if she wants.
-She-- Talan.

-She's more than welcome to come.
-She can come.

Morgan can come,
but she can't bring all of her friends.

Don't get me in the middle
of this [bleep], I just--

[Alex H] Tell him Morgan can come.

-Just not like everybody.
-Talan, Morgan can come

but she can't bring all of her friends.

Just because, I'll tell you later.

Okay. But are you gonna come?
Okay. I'll see you then. Bye.

[Alex H] You know
what's really funny, is that like,

two of the,
I don't wanna say their names, but--

-[Kristin] Yeah, I know.
-Had parties that we weren't invited to.

That's why we're not stressing about it.

[Alex H] Yeah, I'm not,
but I just think it's funny.

You're a trooper. Okay.
We're ready for our party.

[sighs]

I hate packing.

-I love this shirt.
-Thank you.

What are you gonna take,
everything as usual?

Mm-hmm.

Are you gonna see Stephen up there?

Um…

I probably should
because I'm up there, but-

[Jen] What are you gonna be
doing up there?

I'm going up for the trunk show.

What's the trunk show?

A trunk show is when they bring like,
a whole collection, all of their styles,

all of their sizes, all of their colors.

-That's so cool.
-I know.

-So what do you do for it, like?
-I'm just helping out for like--

[Jen] That's such good experience
for like what you wanna do.

I know.

-That's so cool.
-I know. I'm excited.

Lauren, I don't know about this guy.
[chuckles]

I love that shirt.

I don't know, man.
We're just gonna put that over here

along with this little guy. [chuckles]

[phone ringing]

[indistinct chatter]

-Hello.
-Stephen, hey.

-What is going on?
-[Lauren] I'm coming to San Francisco

with that company I'm interning with.

Back to your old stomping grounds.
Back up here.

-[Lauren chuckles]
-[Stephen] I told you you'd be back.

-[Lauren] Only for a day.
-Yeah, that'd be cool.

But let's go get some food or something.

So, if you want, tomorrow when I'm there,

I can just call you
and give you the address

and then you can come
meet me when I'm done.

Sounds good. Bye-bye.

-[cellphone beeps]
-[Jen] Dinner as friends, right?

Yeah.

[sighs]

["Take It Off Baby" playing]

Hi!

-[Alex H] Hey, biatch!
-[Kristin] Welcome to the fiesta.

[cheers]

I have that purse.

[indistinct chatter]

♪ See the beauty inside ♪

♪ C'mon and take it ♪

[Jessica] Hi guys.

♪ Underneath those layers of cool ♪

♪ I know you're something else ♪

♪ You got so much more to give ♪

-Oh, Talan's here.
-Oh, Talan's here.

[sighs]

[Cedric] How you doing, Talan?

-Just raging.
-Talan, you are not very talkative.

[sighs] Sorry.

Talan, did you lose your sidekick?

[Talan] Yeah, I don't have him.

Thanks Jay for the smithereens.

-Five.
-What's wrong, Jess?

[Jessica] Nothing.

Don't lie to me.

-Nothing's wrong.
-What's wrong?

I'm just so tired and stuff.

Why? You're really upset and I know

it's because of Jason.
Jessica, smithereen dots.

Okay. Okay.
But will you listen to me for a sec.

-Okay. What?
-[Jessica] It's not completely

because of like Jason.
It's just like, I don't know why--

-No, it's like me. Like I'm not--
-It's the feelings that you had with him.

Yeah.

I seriously, like, I still think
I have feelings for Stephen,

but it's like not even like that.

It's like you have feelings
for someone and they come back,

but the thing is it's like,
you have feelings for Jason,

but it's not like you
wanna be with him feelings.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's more like you miss what you guys had.

Yeah.

[Kristin] You don't get mad
at yourself for that, Jessica.

Hello. The whole reason I wanted Stephen

after he was hooking up with Lauren
because I couldn't have him anymore

so I was like,
"Wait a minute. Wait a minute."

-[Jessica] Yeah, I know. I know.
-You know?

[Jessica] I know.

-So.
-I know. Okay.

[Kristin] There's a complete
difference, bitch.

[kisses]

I love you. You know…
[exclaiming] between my legs.

Oh, quiero mucho. But seriously.

[kisses]

[upbeat music playing]

It's a fiesta. [chuckles]

Yeah.

Everyone stand up out of their seats.

Piñata. Stand up out of your seats
and go to that direction.

[Kristin] Close up. Close up. Yeah.

Wait, wait, wait, but let me guide you
in the right direction.

-[Kristin] No, we're not.
-[Alex H] Do it right there. Okay.

Hey, it's right here, dude.

No. Jason, stop.
JB, it's right here. Okay.

Oh!

[Jason] Two shots, that's two shots.

[all laugh]

[crowd cheers]

Yeah. [cheers] Candy.

Miss America.

Miss America. [burps]

Smile.

Yeah. Close your eyes too.

Okay. That was kind of cute.
Oh, that's a cute one.

-I was laughing.
-[laughs]

-You two here.
-Okay. Ready, Jeff? You're gonna be nice.

[Alex H] Oh.

[camera shutters]

It's a cute picture, honestly.
That's totally cute.

…glasses in the ocean today, Chanel,
and they were out, dude.

[indistinct chatter]

-Did I give you a hickey?
-Yeah.

Jason thinks I like Talan.

[Cedric] I know the deal
with you and Talan.

-I don't like Talan like that.
-[Cedric] I know the deal with you--

I was hooking up
with him for like two weeks.

[Cedric] You said you care
about him but you don't like him.

-I do care about him.
-[Cedric] Exactly.

Obviously, I care about Talan, he's one of
my good friends, I care about him.

-What are you guys doing over here?
-[Jessica] Looking at the ocean scenery.

-[kisses]
-[indistinct chatter]

I love you though.

Semi cold out here.

[Talan] Personality means
like whatever you think

about yourself
and how you feel about yourself

instead of everyone telling you--

[smooches]

♪ I cannot seem to shake
Scream the way I feel ♪

♪ What can I use to fill
The emptiness inside ♪

[smooches]

[upbeat music concludes]

["I Need Love" playing]

[Sarah] We're here. Good morning.
[chuckles]

-Did you meet Lauren?
-[Susan] I did. I did. I said "Hi."

You will learn a lot from Susan.

Okay, great. Let's move our bags

and then we'll start
a meeting with everybody.

["I Need Love" playing]

["I Need Love" concludes]

[Alex M] Have you heard stuff
about the barbecue

that we weren't invited to last night?

But I heard it was lame.

Well, I heard that like Jake called you

and he was like, "I just
want to get out of here."

"Please, like tell me
something else to do.

We've gotta get outta here,
it's so boring."

I heard that Kristin and Jeff Boyle
hooked up last night.

[gasps] What a bitch.
Doesn't Jessica like--

-That is so rude to do to Jessica.
-Jessica likes him.

See, no feelings.

-[Alex M] What a bitch, dude.
-I'm not surprised, actually.

[Alex M] Wait, was Jessica there?

[Morgan S] I don't know
where else that she would be.

-Oh, my gosh. I would be so mad.
-[chuckles]

[Taylor] Talan called me last night

after he left and he was like,
"How come Taylor,

Morgan and Alex
aren't allowed to be here?"

And she goes,
"Morgan's allowed to come here."

He was like, "Well, what
about the other girls?"

And she was like, "I'll tell you later."

If they're gonna do that kind of crap,
then that-- Then it pisses me off.

Yeah. They've… they've declared it war.

[Jessica] Come on, bitches.

Yesterday was a lot of fun.

I had a lot of fun
after I got over the initial,

I miss Jason, oh, wait.
No, I don't really.

I liked how it was like all boys.
[chuckles]

Supposedly Alex and Taylor
were like really mad

that they weren't invited.

[Kristin] Well, I'm sorry.

It's like-- Seriously,
we don't hang out with them.

Why would we invite them
if we don't even talk to them?

I mean like, that's why I don't
wanna go to the wave thing

because being on a little bus

with that whole crew
of people to San Diego

just doesn't sound too appealing to me.

No. I'm scared of waves,
why would I want to go to a fake wave?

-I wanna go cause Jeffrey's going.
-[Kristin] You really like Jeff, huh?

Yeah, you do. You do.

I don't know whether I really like him

or I just think he's so cute and like--

But you get this smile
on your face every time you talk to him.

[Jessica] No. No, it's just--
Okay. Here's the thing--

[Alex H] You're trying to cover it up.
[chuckles]

-She's like, "No."
-You're blushing.

No. Shut up. No, I'm not. Okay.

Here's the thing,
I think it's like a good opportunity

for like Alex and I to be
in the same vicinity

and not like have her wanna wring my neck.

Mm-hmm.

["Happy" playing]

♪ Do you find your baby loves you ♪

♪ Are you happy
When she's with you ♪

♪ So happy ♪

♪ Are you crazy
And happy ♪

♪ Good, you'll never ask for more ♪

[Stephen] Hi. How are you?

-Good.
-Bye.

-Bye.
-Bye.

[chuckles]

♪ How you make me feel ♪

♪ A sunny day
We'll just go outside ♪

♪ You can find yourself… ♪

So, you're coming up for summer

and have you decided
if you're coming back here?

Um. Me and my brother are looking
for a place in Manhattan Beach.

So, you're moving to LA?

Yeah. I'd probably take classes
at Santa Monica.

Now Stephen, senior year
I decided I wanted to go to San Francisco.

[Stephen] Uh-huh.

And then you decided you wanted
to go to San Francisco.

Then I decided to move to LA.
Stephen, are you following me? [chuckles]

-You wish?
-[Lauren] Can you not stand? [chuckles]

It's okay, I understand.

♪ And here
The world was mine ♪

-[Stephen] You hungry 'cause I am.
-[Lauren] I'm hungry, hungry.

Thank you.

[indistinct chatter]

Thank you.

Hm.

-Enjoy your meal. Thank you.
-Thank you. How's the good old LB?

[Lauren] I'm like never in Laguna.

I have school twice a week
in Irvine, I do ten-hour days.

[Stephen] Oh yeah, you told me.
That's gnarly you're there all day.

Kristin's moving to LA too.

Yeah. Her and Alex have
a place in like Marina del Rey.

That's what I thought. How are you guys?

We're chill.
We've been both doing our own thing.

Like we're obviously still chill and like,

-I talk to her every once in a while.
-So, you're still close?

No. No.

Like we'll always be close,
like we obviously we will,

but like-- I don't know.

Like I never thought
like senior year, one night,

-we randomly just happened to kiss.
-Dude, it was all you. [chuckles]

Hey, you were holding the door open.

You just with the big sign,
"Stephen, come in."

No. You were looking through my yearbook
to try to find a guy.

[Stephen] Hey! I knew exactly
what you were doing.

That was a good pickup,
I'll give you that.

[chuckles] No, actually that
was the sweetest first kiss I've ever had.

Oh, that's cool.
Maybe, I think it was kind of something

I always wanted to do,
that's probably why.

Oh, Stephen.

What do you think would ever happen

if me and you like full on
like had a relationship that like lasted?

I don't know. I just could--

[chuckles]

So funny.

[Stephen] It was so good.

["Lights" playing]

♪ When the lights go down in the city ♪

[Lauren] I'm tired now.

♪ And the sun shines on the bay ♪

-[Stephen] Good dinner, yeah?
-[Lauren] Very good dinner.

[Stephen] A good dinner,
had some interesting topics

-on that one. That was a funny one.
-[Lauren chuckles] Always do.

[Stephen] Yeah, we do get
into some funny conversations.

[Lauren] Yeah.

♪ Oh ♪

-[Stephen] What a view. What a view.
-[Lauren] Is that the Bay Bridge?

[Stephen] Yeah.

Goes into that island right
there and then there's more.

Yeah.

That's the one you take
to get to the airport, right?

Oakland, yeah.
That's where I picked you up.

♪ In my city, by the bay oh ♪

[instrumental music playing]

-Holy crap.
-[Alex M] That's halfway.

[Morgan S] Oh, I am so not going on that.

That's a little spinette.

Dude, he is so good.

I would never do that, no way.

[chuckles]

Yes, dude. Here comes Talan.

Talan's doing better.

Whoa. Oh my God. [chuckles]

No [bleep] way.

Oh. Here goes Jeff. Here goes Jeff.
Here goes Jeff. He's so cute.

Whoo! Oh! [chuckles]

♪ We can just pretend ♪

Thank you.

Are you sad
cause you didn't go to the Wave?

-[chuckles]
-Yeah. [chuckles]

The Wave House.
Obviously, Jessica doesn't surf,

so it's not like she was amped
on like the whole surf thing.

Yeah.

-But Alex is going so she can--
-Make up with Alex.

Yeah. And then she'll hang out
with Jeffrey.

Do you think she's mad
that I kissed Jeff?

-Like it wasn't--
-I don't think she's mad,

but I think she's probably
kind of like "damn,"

'cause she would have wanted to--

-It's not that I like Jeff.
-Well, I know.

-You know. [chuckles]
-[chuckles]

-And she wouldn't tell me if she was mad.
-No, she wouldn't.

And she would act like she didn't care.

-Yeah.
-Which she really does.

But deep down she'd be like,
"[bleep] bitch."

I was just not thinking straight
and I happened to be sitting right there.

[chuckles]

Jessica's the kind of girl
that will do anything for a guy.

That's not good.

I want Jeff so bad.
Oh, my God. It's so obvious too.

-[Taylor] I think he likes you.
-[Alex M] He does like you.

Really, you think?

[Morgan S] Oh, she's so happy.

No, it's like all
of his friends are like,

"We know he likes you,
he just won't admit it,

but we know he does."
And I was like.

[Morgan S] Do Kristin
and Alex still hook up with him?

-[Alex M] Were you pissed?
-[Taylor] Did that bug you?

[Alex M] Didn't Kristin hook up with him?

-At her fiesta.
-[Taylor] Yeah.

And it's like Kristin too,
who's like 20 times prettier than me…

[Taylor] Oh, no. No.

…twenty times like better than me,
so I'm like--

[Taylor] Jessica, I swear to God.

This sucks so bad.

That's not true, trust me.

-It's just, but it was like--
-You're just as pretty if not.

You're not only pretty on the outside,
but you're gorgeous on the inside

and that's something that she's lacking.

This is a little bit better

than sitting with a bunch
of people I don't wanna be with.

[Alex H] Yeah. Everyone's like--

[cackles]

I don't even get, why would
they want to go on a fake wave?

Uh. [snickers]

Didn't Talan set it all up for them to go?

I guess?

I like don't want to call Kristin today
and be like…

You mad at her for something?

I just know that she'll gimme [bleep]
for coming down here.

-Why?
-'Cause she's Kristin.

She's an idiot,
she should have came out here.

[Taylor] So why would she give you [bleep]
if you had fun?

[Jessica] It was like
she didn't want to go,

so it was kind of like assumed
that like all of us

weren't going and it's like annoying.

[Taylor] You would think that like
how much she like dislikes me,

you'd think that I actually like
did something.

-Yeah.
-But like I've never done anything

-to her ever.
-Yeah. No.

I've literally never met someone who like
has so much fun hating people.

Yeah.

["Crashing In" playing]

♪ Doing it again
Your whispers far too loud ♪

You surprised-- I didn't even…
I was like sitting on the bus.

I was like,
"There's no way Jessica's going on."

I told you I would go on.

Yeah. All the things
you never thought I would do I did,

like snowboarding.

[Jeff] The one thing, the one thing--

I don't know. Yeah.
We still have to go surfing.

You can cruise there,
I can teach you how to surf.

[Jessica] Will you teach me?

[Jeff] We'll tear it up.
Yeah, I don't know.

♪ I need you to save me
Crashing in my head ♪

♪ Doing it again ♪

["Crashing In" concludes]

["Come Clean" playing]

[music concludes]