Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County (2004–2006): Season 1, Episode 3 - Fast Cars and Fast Women - full transcript

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[Kristin] All right,
I have a question for you.

Do you think I could persuade Dad
into getting me a new car?

-[chuckles]
-[chuckles] Keep dreaming.

[Kristin] Why?

Mike, like, seriously,
the car is falling apart.

-You had it, you know.
-Kristin. Kristin.

You've screwed that car up
more than I did.

All right, I've dinged it a few times,

but you, like, you had to get
a new transmission and stuff

-because you've messed it up.
-I didn't do that.

Yeah, you had to get a new transmission.



Yeah, but that's not because of me,
that's just because the car was old.

Exactly, the car is old,
and that was three years ago.

No, no, that car is fine.

Mike, you know that car
is a piece of [bleep].

-Yeah.
-You're not going to be able to do it.

[chuckles] Whatever.

["Come Clean" playing]

[singer] ♪ 'Cause perfect ♪

♪ Didn't feel so perfect ♪

♪ Tryin' to fit a square
Into a circle was no life ♪

♪ I defy ♪

♪ Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams ♪

♪ Let it wash away my sanity ♪

♪ 'Cause I want to feel the thunder
I want to scream ♪



♪ Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean ♪

♪ I'm coming clean ♪

[song concludes]

[Jen] Did you guys have fun last night?

Yeah, except I had a water balloon
thrown at me at the bonfire.

My eye, like, still hurts.

-You know that was Talan.
-It was Talan?

-It was Talan.
-It was Talan.

I thought Stephen was going
to talk to Kristin last night.

-He did.
-Are they going back out now?

No, he was all bummed on her last night.

He was just like,

"I just want to leave,
I want to leave right now."

"I hate this town, like, there's
just nothing here for me anymore."

-And I was like, "Easy."
-[Jen] Wow.

[Lo] When does San Francisco State start?

-August?
-His starts August 25th, I think?

[Lo] How far away are you
and Stephen from each other?

-Like, five minutes.
-Really?

-I think you guys are gonna get married.
-[Jen] Mm-hmm.

I think we're gonna be best friends.

That stuff happens,
though, you know, like--

I don't want to marry Stephen.

[Lo] Why not? He's cute.
You'd have pretty babies.

[Jen] You would have pretty babies.

Your babies would be like
the popular people at school. [chuckles]

[chuckling] Sweet, Jen.

-[Lo chuckling]
-[Jen] They would.

["I Can't Help Myself" playing]

[singer] ♪ I can't help myself… ♪

[Kristin] Okay, Stephen and I got
into a fight at the bonfire.

-[Jessica] About what?
-[Kristin] Sam.

He's like, "Who knows
what you're doing with Sam."

I was like, "Stephen,
you got to be kidding me."

-Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
-[Kristin chuckling] And he's like…

So, anyways, we got in
a fight and I was like,

"I'm not talking about this right now,
like, whatever." And I just walked away.

So then he was like, "Kristin, you know,

you say one thing
and you act the complete opposite."

And I was like,
"All right, I'll give you that."

I told him like I liked him
and then I act like I don't give a [bleep]

-about him, you know?
-[Jessica] Yeah.

So I was like, "I'll give you that,

that's just my way
of getting over things."

'Cause, like, a week and a half ago,
that's when I told him I still liked him,

and he-- Like, to me, it sounded
like he was over it, you know?

And then last night
he's like, "Kristin, I said that

I wanted to ease into things again,"

and I was like,
"Well, what the hell you never,"

-you know?
-Yeah.

[Kristin] So, now I don't really know
what the deal is,

and like, how to act with Sam.

Like, I don't know
if I should tell Sam, like…

-It's so dumb. [chuckles]
-Yeah, I don't know.

[radio announcer]
Surf is three to five feet,

chest and shoulder high,
with a big northwest swell coming in.

-[horn honking]
-[keys rattling]

-[Trey whistling]
-[clears throat]

Trey Dog.

-What up, guy?
-[Stephen chuckling] What's going on?

[Trey] Not too much.
What's going on with you?

-Not much, just got off work.
-Yeah, any hotties walk in?

-Hmm. Not really.
-[Trey chuckles]

I'm waiting for summertime
on that one. What's goin' on?

We're going to go
to this fashion show thing,

my parents, they said
I could invite a couple of friends.

-Fashion show?
-[Trey] Fashion show.

Fashion show, models, after-party,

-runway, everything. Yeah.
-[Stephen] Shut up.

Who's going to go, me and you?

-Me, you, and I was thinking of asking LC.
-Oh, Lauren?

[Trey] Yeah, 'cause she seemed like
she was kinda into the fashion thing too.

-Nice, that's a good call.
-[Trey] Yep.

-That'd be sick, I want to go.
-Yep. Yep.

N.B., bro. All right, well,
go home, give me a call later.

-Yeah, later.
-[car engine starting]

[singer] ♪ He's always waiting
For that perfect wave ♪

♪ But nobody ever told him
He's a little too late ♪

♪ And he really isn't tuned
Just not today ♪

♪ He's all right, he's all right
He's all right ♪

-[Kristin] Hey, Sam.
-[Sam] Are we taking your car, Kristin?

Yeah.

-It's a good day to go car shopping.
-[Alex chuckles]

[Kristin] Sam, I was talking to my brother
about it the other day,

and he's like, "There's no way
you're going to get a new car."

[Sam] Just try and get good grades.
I mean…

-No, I have a three-six.
-That's not bad.

I know, well, you know, my dad used
to tell me if I got a three-five

or better, I'd get a new car
and nothing ever happened, so…

I don't know, this car
is seriously falling apart, though.

-[Alex] Wow.
-Those are cars, look.

-[Alex] These are some rich cars.
-Oh, my God.

[Alex] I'd feel like such hot [bleep]

-driving that.
-[Kristin] Oh, my God, yeah.

[Alex] They're all like shiny
and, like, clean.

-[Kristin] I know, like…
-They're staring at you like, "Buy me."

-[chuckling] "Buy me."
-[Sam] Oh, my God.

[Alex] Hundred and fifty thousand.

-There's no door.
-[Kristin] Whoa.

-[Alex] Is it just a thing to look at?
-[Kristin] I want this car.

-I can see you in a car like this.
-[Kristin] Oh, my God.

-[Alex] This is like the Batmobile.
-Look at Sam, he is so hot.

-[Alex] Sam…
-Sam, come here.

-[Alex] Look at the gear change.
-Look at the gear change.

It's like a nub.

[singer] ♪ How lucky we are ♪

♪ How lucky we are ♪

-[Sam] I hate going car shopping.
-So do I, now I want a new car so--

Oh, here's the old Suzu.

["Failed Attempt" playing]

[Stephen] Here's good old L. A.

So much different from Laguna.

It just reminds me of like
a big city where there's--

-[LC] 'Cause it is a big city.
-[Trey] Yeah, like a big city.

I can't even tell what city I'm in,
I just know I'm in some big city.

These stores are so weird.
They're just like…

open.

[Stephen] Best way
to attract people to come in.

[Lauren] I guess.

[Trey] I like it though, I think it's sort
of L.A. in general is just really flat.

[singer] ♪ All the dignity, and pride
And sleepless nights ♪

♪ There is a place where I hide
All the songs I can't write ♪

♪ Because every time I try… ♪

[Stephen] See, I have no idea
about what to expect tonight.

[Lauren] It's a fashion show,
I mean, there's a big catwalk

and they have music playing
and they just--

[Stephen] Going to be 41 of those
and a bunch of anorexic models

-just cruising up and down.
-Oh, yeah.

Too skinny is definitely unattractive.

Like, there's a fine line
right there between skinny

-and unattractively skinny.
-[Trey] Yeah.

They made skinny sexy.

-Hey, your car sounds pretty good.
-Do you hear that?

-I need a new car!
-[Sam laughing]

-[Kristin] Oh, my God.
-[Alex] Kristin, pretend

like something's going wrong
and be like, "Dad, this is normal."

[Kristin] Listen to that!
That's not normal!

Oh, yes, please break down on me.

-Oh, my God.
-[Alex] Oh, Kristin, no way.

Yeah, way, I want a new car.

[Alex] If it breaks down,
then you won't have a car.

Oh, you're right. Do you hear that?

-[Alex] Shut up, is that--
-[Sam] Oh, no.

Oh, my God!

-[steam hissing]
-[Alex] Kristin, what do we do?

-What if it explodes?
-[Alex] I want to get out!

-What if it explodes?
-[Alex] I want to get out!

-[car horn honking]
-[Kristin] I'm really scared right now.

[indistinct chatter]

-[Kristin] I'm so happy!
-[Alex] I am so happy

that I am not driving.

Your car is smoking! My car is done-zo!
You guys, I don't know what to do!

-Should I call AAA?
-[Alex] Yes.

-Okay. [sighs]
-[Alex] Oh, my God I hate this.

-This happened to me last year.
-[car honking]

What do you want me to do? [bleep] God!

-[woman] Move it!
-[car horn honking]

-[Alex] [bleep] …off, idiot. Oh, my God.
-[chuckles]

-Okay, thank you.
-[car horn honking]

-[bleep] …off, God.
-[Kirsten] [bleep].

-How do they expect a person…
-[Kristin] Thanks.

-…to move their car?
-[Kirsten] Okay, bye.

Thirty minutes or less!

[Alex] What are…
are they coming to tow it?

Uh-huh.

[Alex] My sister's coming right now,
but that's not going to do anything.

Such a big traffic jam. [chuckles]

-[horns honking]
-[Kristin] What?

Oh, my God, that's bad.
That's, like, gnarly traffic.

Well, it's kind of like an accident,
like, you know? [chuckles]

[Alex] That's why people are getting mad
'cause look what you're doing.

-[man yelling]
-[laughs]

This is a lot of stress on me.
Is that Catherine? Catherine.

[laughs] My car overheated.

-What are you going to do?
-[Kristin] I called AAA.

[horn honking]

Catherine got really pretty.

How ironic is that, that we go look

at a bunch of cars and my car
breaks down on the way home?

-Yeah.
-[Alex] It's fate telling you

-you need to get a new car.
-Exactly!

I'm gonna be like, "Dad,
you're Buddhist, you believe in that."

-[car horn honking]
-Oh, my God!

[Alex] Notice, every person
that honks is driving,

-like, a really nice car--
-A BMW, Mercedes, [bleep]

-Range Rovers, yeah.
-[Alex] There's a cop right there.

-Where? Oh.
-[Alex] Right there, passing.

-[motorcycle engine rumbles]
-[Kristin] I hate Laguna cops!

[Alex] He turned on his light.

-[police horn squeaks]
-God!

-[Alex] She can't pull over.
-Well, I can't move my car, you idiot!

-[Alex] Are you--
-Yeah.

-Get off your motorcycle, you lazy ass!
-[Alex] You need to get out

and talk to him.

Well, what the [bleep]
do you want me to say to him?

[Alex] Just be like, "My car overheated.
I'm waiting for AAA."

-Oh, my God…
-[Kristin] My car overheated.

I can't move it.
It turned off on me. I'm waiting for AAA.

[officer] You're telling me
your car doesn't start?

-It won't move, yeah.
-[officer] It doesn't start?

It starts, but it won't move.

It's completely shut off on me,

the steering doesn't work
or anything, I can't move it.

And I don't want to
because it's overheating.

-[traffic rumbles]
-[officer] All right, go wait in the car.

-[Sam] What did he say?
-[Alex] What did he say?

Well, I started being mean to him.

-He's like…
-[Alex] What did he say?

He's like, "So you're telling me…"

[laughs] Like,
he was just being an [bleep].

[Trey] I wonder
how it's going to be though.

-I've never been to a fashion show.
-[Lauren] Neither have I.

The thing that's cool about fashion,
it's straight-up wearable art, you know?

-That's the way I see it.
-[Lauren] Yeah.

[Trey] And expressional,
just the same as art.

I mauled through my sandwich so fast.

[Lauren] Are you kidding?
Do you want half of mine?

-You could use it.
-[laughs]

Makeup's so cool.

You can make
the ugliest person attractive with makeup.

-What is he doing?
-Don't ask.

[Lauren] Go get dressed!

[Stephen] I am getting dressed.
What is this?

It's like, wearable art on our faces.

I guess it sort of brings out
an artistic sense.

[Lauren] It does,
I wear my makeup according to mood.

You can always tell
when I'm in a bad mood

'cause I wear lots of dark eye makeup.

-[Stephen] Bad mood?
-Mm-mm. It's just blue

because it just matches my shirt.

-[Stephen] Ah. Just making sure.
-[chuckles]

But I'm in a good mood
when I take the time to match.

Are you done, honey?

-Are you ready, honey?
-[chuckles]

-Kristin, steer to the side.
-[Kristin] Yeah, yeah!

-[Kristin] Oh.
-[truck beeping]

-Oh, my God.
-[Alex] Kristin, you can get out now.

[Kristin groans]

-You're going to have bad luck.
-My dad! My dad.

-Where's your dad?
-[Kristin] He's turning around.

He's so mad, he's so mad.
He's so mad.

What?

So, do you want me
to just drive you guys home?

-[Kristin] Yeah.
-Okay.

-She has a car here though, so…
-Oh, you do?

[singer] ♪ Come and rescue me ♪

-♪ Tell them I'm not crazy ♪
-♪ Rescue me ♪

♪ Got to try and make them understand ♪

[song fades]

[Alex] Okay, so what did your dad say
about your car?

Oh, that I need to learn to love it

because I'm going to have it
for the next four years.

-That sucks.
-[Kristin] Mm-hmm.

It was my fault
because I didn't put oil in it,

-so…
-[chuckles]

…I should not get rewarded for stupidity.

How are you supposed
to know how to put oil in a car?

-Yeah, what the hell?
-[Jessica chuckles]

-Do you check your oil?
-No.

All right, then!

If anything, like, happens,
I just tell my dad.

Does everyone check their oil
or something? I never knew.

-Anyways, where's Stephen?
-He went to a fashion show up in L.A.

with Trey and LC.

Is he there for the night
or is he coming back?

He's there for the night.

Are you bummed or…

No, I'm not bummed.
She probably thinks she's like,

-all cool because she's going.
-Yeah, I wouldn't be worried though.

"I'm going with Stephen
to a fashion show, like,

'cause I'm going to go to fashion school,

that you don't even
need brains to go into."

-["Ask Me If I Care" playing]
-[singer] ♪ One, two, three ♪

[indistinct chatter]

-[Trey] That one's hot!
-You have to see her. Seriously.

[singer] ♪ Hey, if you want ♪

♪ I could show you the way
To the other side ♪

♪ I don't remember
The way that I got there ♪

♪ To that side, yeah ♪

Is that unattractively skinny?

-She's hot, that's--
-That's what?

-That's hot.
-[Lauren] Oh.

[singer] ♪ Ask me if I care… ♪

[Stephen] Trey, check that one out.

She's not too skinny.
She's not too skinny at all.

She has such a hot face.

[singer] ♪ The camera lights are exploding
In your head ♪

♪ Mine is the world
That replaces a legend ♪

♪ When you're dead
Yeah… ♪

-[Trey]
-[Lauren]

Aw!

[Trey] She's gonna take
a picture with you.

I smiled because you made me!

-Take another one.
-No, it looks great.

[Trey] All right, thank you.

[Stephen]

[Stephen]

[Trey] Hey, let's go to the after-party.

-[upbeat music playing]
-[Lauren] This is place is kinda shady.

[Stephen] Do you want
anything to drink? I'm buying.

-[Lauren]
-[Stephen]

[Lauren]

[indistinct chatter]

[Stephen]

[Trey]

-Whoa, whoa!
-Let's get in there.

[singer] ♪ Take me there ♪

♪ Wanna be inspired
With some real cool jams ♪

♪ Someone who can party
Again and again ♪

♪ Then look me in the face saying
Let's do it again ♪

♪ You got to be wild to get with me ♪

♪ 'Cause you'll never leave ♪
I promise you'll never leave ♪

♪ Commit to yourself
Don't worry about me ♪

♪ It's okay to be lonely
Be wild and free ♪

♪ Going to get respect
Going to follow my dream ♪

[Lauren sighs]

Okay. Okay, I am so hurting right now
because I am chilling in my car alone,

and Stephen's got, like,
three models around him.

And one of them walks up
and she's all… [chuckles]

She looks at him, she's like,
"You are just so gorgeous."

I'm just like… [groans]
This is not working.

["Sleep" playing]

♪ Stop me before we reach… ♪

-[Lauren] No.
-[indistinct chatter]

[Lauren sighing]

[singer] ♪ Help me
To find the peace inside ♪

[Lauren] No, I don't know.
I don't know. Sucks.

["Satellite" playing]

[singer] ♪ Satellite is always watching
Over you ♪

[laughs] Knock it off.

[singer] ♪ Satellite is watching
Everything you do ♪

-[Jonathan] Yeah! Holy…
-[laughs]

-Got this.
-[song fades]

-[Johnathan laughing] Yeah.
-[indistinct chatter]

It was
like we were totally friends, like--

She was kinda acting weird

'cause once I was, like, dancing
with one of these girls that I met there,

one of the model chicks from the show.

She was like acting all weird.

Like, from there
she was like, got all bitter,

-and then--
-Really?

She took off, yeah, and she was just like,

"God, I can't believe
those models, they're so stupid,"

and all that stuff. Like, kinda making fun
of the girl that I was talking with.

Like, we're cool, like,
I was just like rousting her.

I don't know, I'd just make jokes.

This is going to be such a hard shot.

-The fashion show was really, really cool.
-[Jen] And the models were like drop-dead?

They were cute. They were real skinny.

One of them… this girl,
like, loved Stephen.

-She walks up
-[car horn honking]

-[Jen] I get really scared.
-[Lauren] Come on, slow down.

This girl was cute, and so Trey is like,

"Oh, dude, I'll get a picture
with you and her."

And she looks over at me
after they take the picture,

she goes, "Oh, my God,
you're, like, so mad at me,"

-and, like, runs away.
-[Jen] What?

-Was she a [bleep]? Was she like--
-[Lauren] No, she was just,

she was like dumb as dirt.
She was all stupid.

And then, like, Stephen made friendly

-with a couple of runway models.
-[Jen] I'm sure he made friendly.

Does Kristin know about this friendliness?

I don't-- I don't know.

[singer] ♪ Was it you
Who spoke the words ♪

♪ That things would happen but not to me ♪

♪ Well, things are going
To happen naturally ♪

♪ Oh, taking your advice
I'm looking on the bright side ♪

-♪ And balancing the whole thing… ♪
-So what's up?

[Stephen] It was so much fun
at the fashion show

and then the after-party.

All the models were so hot.

-Yeah.
-[Stephen] It was gnarly.

Why didn't Lauren want to go to the party?

She was stressing pretty hard,
but I don't know.

Me and Trey had so much fun, though.

I don't know. What did you do last night?

I had dinner with Zach.

-[Stephen] Really?
-Yeah.

-Just the two of you?
-[Kristin] Uh-uh.

He has a girlfriend and they're like,
oh, my God, they're so cute.

-Oh, my God.
-How do you know?

-[Kristin] How do I know?
-Yeah.

'Cause his screensaver's,
like, a picture of her,

and she called him,
and they were talking and they--

Oh, they're just really cute. [chuckles]

I don't know, it's funny.

-[Stephen] What did you guys do?
-We just went to dinner.

-And then what?
-[Kristin] What?

-And then what?
-I just went home.

-He just dropped you off?
-[Kristin] Yeah.

-That was it?
-[Kristin] Yeah.

-Random.
-[indistinct chatter]

[Kristin] Yeah.

-[waiter] You guys want any more bread?
-I'm all right.

-[waiter] Get this out of your way?
-[Stephen] Thanks.

-Thank you.
-[waiter] Of course.

So do you want to go home after this?

-[chuckles] No?
-No.

-What do you want to do?
-[Kristin] I don't know.

What do you want to do?

[singer] ♪ Okay ♪

♪ 'Cause I remember everything you say ♪

♪ 'Cause you and I both loved ♪

♪ What you and I spoke of ♪

♪ And others just read of ♪

♪ And If you could see me now
Well then I'm almost finally out of ♪

♪ I'm finally out of ♪

♪ Finally ♪

♪ Well I'm almost finally
Finally out of words ♪

[song concludes]

-[baby giggling]
-[female voice] Go, go, Luckey!