LOL: Last One Laughing Italy (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - LOL - Chi ride è fuori Ep.3 - full transcript

LOL
LAST ONE LAUGHING ITALY

Wait!

Hold on. It was me.

No!

-Very good!
-That is...

-Greg?
-Lillo.

-Ouch.
-I don't think it's me.

Oh, yes.

-Busted.
-Who laughed?

-Here he is.
-My God!

Here he is!



Somebody did not survive themselves.
And hurt themselves with their own hands.

-Let's watch the video.
-Impossible.

Hold on. It was me.

You were happy.

Look, then you realized!

Poor him.

To be funny,
it has to be said with a smile.

Because it's the one who says, "It's me!"

My face says, "I screwed up."

Lillo, you're officially warned.

-Thank you.
-Lillo! Come on!

Can I say, though, you did great.

You were great. Generous, well done.

There's still plenty of time. Be careful.



Lillo basically made himself laugh,

and now he's got a yellow card,
with Ciro and Luca Ravenna.

"I'm Lillo."

It went pretty much like that.

LOL restarts now. Who laughs

-is out.
-Is out.

I'd like to inform you that it's been
two hours now.

Time flies when we're together.

Have a laugh!

Don't you dare anymore.

Very good, Elio.

-Conservatory?
-Yes.

I'll press the lime button.

-To liven things up.
-Go ahead.

Yeah!

What happened?

It's Pintus.

The regional train to...

Three minutes of...

Chubby Bunny.
Fill up your mouths and try to speak.

With what?

Lillo and Luca Ravenna go to the table
with the Chubby Bunnies.

Take the marshmallows
and bring them to the table, please.

On one side we have Luca Ravenna.
On the other side we have Lillo and Greg.

The surname is Greg, right?

And Greg, Lillo and Greg.

Andgreg, it's one word.

So, Lillo starts with one.

Luca responds with another one.

What?

Artists?

Who wins?

You know, sand also works well.

You put it in... And then you pass out.
Nothing's better than that.

So?

Window frames?

It's really terrible.

Stuff in their mouths, spitting, vomiting.

It looked like one of my Saturday nights.

The Flintstones?

-Impressed?
-The same?

Lend... You lend.

You'd speak much better
with an empty mouth.

Well, yeah.

Luca speaks like that,
it's not the marshmallows.

I'll take two more,
I was feeling comfortable.

If you don't mind. Two by two.

Too bad, it was so classy...

No!

What's happening?
Why do you do things? I was sleeping!

-Here he is.
-Time flies when you're having fun.

Ouch.

We have the second red card.

No!

We have three yellow cards.

Lillo, Ciro and Luca.

-No.
-Let's watch the video.

Too bad, it was so classy...

Yeah, well, I knew that.

Wasn't he just breathing?

This was big.

He was breathing.

Well, I mean, even your eyes were smiling.

Luca, unfortunately,
you're expelled from LOL.

-Bye, Luca.
-You're great.

This game was a real bitch.

A shitty one.

-Oh, how wonderful.
-Bye.

Remember, who laughs is out.

Yeah, it's written there.

Thank you. This is what I have to say
about this poor display.

The second red card of LOL
is for Luca Ravenna.

The competition continues.

Hey. How are you?

-I'm sorry.
-Me, too,

-but can I say... Hi, Mara.
-Hi.

It's hard.

This stuff is insane. It's insane.

-Luckily we're on pause. Yes.
-Because that was funny?

-Shall I restart the game?
-Sure, go ahead.

Here it is!

Excuse me,
I really care, this is a serious matter.

This whole good and bad side thing
isn't a cliché.

My good side is this one...

-Yes.
-Can you see it?

And my bad side is this one.

-It's true.
-Much worse.

Got it?

I would immediately laugh
at this bullshit.

-Stupid stuff makes me laugh more.
-Yes, me, too.

So it's true that...

It looked like you had
a partial paralysis.

-You don't see it by looking straight.
-Sure.

Now you have it on the other side, too.

-On both sides.
-Sometimes I get confused.

No, I died with that paralysis.

Lillo killed me with that one.

Guys, guys. Elio's performance,

which could be a killer moment.

Dear friends, I've already told you,
I'm not here to win,

but I'm here for my artistic career.

Now I'm gonna perform a song,

which is kind of a "midley"
or medley or mélange

of music and dance.

You can play the base.

-Look at Ciro! Look at Ciro!
-Look.

It's very, very hilarious.

Holy shit.

Thank you.

Just a few notes, but...

-Too much.
-Well done!

Fuck, too funny!

I hated you, Elio,
it was the funniest thing I'd ever seen.

You can play the next base, thank you.

-Shit, he has another one.
-Look at him.

Damn it, it's so hard.

When he stepped off the stage,

imagine you see a man with long hair

who, at some point, lifts his skirt

and you can see his knee-highs up here.

At that moment, it was over. That's it.

He looked like a mythological creature,
so strange

with those two little legs and four arms.

I've been tap dancing for many years,

and I'm quite good at it, too.

And my downstairs neighbor
can't take it anymore.

He loves tap dance, too,

but he's like, "Look,

"I like tap, but I can't listen to it
all day long." So we set a schedule.

It's too hilarious.

Pintus is desperate, look at him.

Look at Frank!

I was trying not to look at him.

That was a very hard moment.

Fuck, fuck.

He was tap dancing
and he was going around the theater.

Without a reason.

And he continues.

No, because everybody's good
at tap dancing briefly.

Do it for a long time!

It never ends.

It's unbearable.

Please stop him. Stop him!

Then it hits you like some sort of trance.

Everything spins.

I recommend it instead of drugs.

He's not human.

He's an alien.

No, Elio, your face.
Your face was something...

-Oh, God.
-That's so unfair.

I was about to have a heart attack.

-They're worn out.
-Wrecked.

It's amazing, because...

You have to control a lot of muscles.

They're really exhausted.

I hope you got the message.

-It's the funniest thing...
-The message.

-The message.
-Stop it!

For me, what's important is not to win,
but the journey.

He made me lose my mind.

It was hurting here.

In order not to laugh,
my face was hurting.

Get this shit out of here, please.

Okay.

Fedez, what are you to me?

-What do you mean?
-A star.

A big star.

No, please, Mara, don't!

Ouch! Fuck off, shit!

-Was it the cushion?
-I gave you a little shock, not a star.

Guys, shall we play a game?

Finally somebody with a good idea.

Shall we do When Harry Met Sally...?
That dialogue?

-Come on.
-Who shall I play?

You'll be Sally.

-Are we at the table?
-Who wants to play Harry?

I'll do it.

Go.

"So what do you do with these women,
you just leave?"

"Sure."

"Explain, what do you say?"

"That I have an early meeting,
or a squash game."

"You don't play squash."

"They don't know that."

It looks like the movie.

"You're an affront to all women,
and I'm a woman."

"Hey," comma, for emphasis,

"I don't want to brag,
but nobody ever complained."

"You don't give them time to."

Unbelievable. If you close your eyes,
it really sounds like the movie.

"I think they have a very good time."

"How do you know?"

"I just know."

-"Because they..."
-"Yes, they...

"What are you saying?

"They fake orgasm?"

"It's possible."

"Get out of here!"

"Why? Most women have faked it
in their lives."

"You don't think
that I could tell the difference?

"Put it on ice and wait for it
to cool down and gain color.

"You're being ridiculous."

Very sexy.

-I'll have what she's having.
-Did you take a shit?

No!

Fuck, yeah!

Holy crap.

Fabio couldn't take it anymore.

Finally a belly laugh.

I thought he could resist a bit more,
but, no, he couldn't.

What made you laugh,
"Did you take a shit?"

"Did you take a shit?"

So he laughed at his own joke.

No, I laughed at the situation.
I pictured the chef saying,

"Did you take a shit?"

When you improvise something you like,
it's a big personal achievement...

Oh, by the way... Who laughed?

My goodness, you're terrible.

I'll go give this a yellow card.

-Good. Well, it's clear.
-Unexpected.

Do it the right way,
because it was amazing.

I need a yellow card for him to believe
that he can do it.

Good. Well done.

-Here he is, Fedez.
-Fede!

And it's with great, great suspense

that I have to

give this yellow card,
but let's watch it again.

-Yeah, because it's not clear.
-No.

"You're being ridiculous."

Did you take a shit?

"Did you take a shit?"

"Did you take a shit?"

This warning deserves an applause.

Well done, Angelo, you're great.

I said it, I heard it,
and I saw the others' faces.

That's when I laughed, because I thought
that maybe...

It's all...

After this blatant yellow card,
there are three cautioned people,

Pintus, Ciro and Lillo.

Now I would do
"Artists United to Make Frank Lose."

No!

He buzzes around you
just to make you laugh, that bastard.

-But you never risked...
-And then you laugh.

What?

Eight hundred times, you bastard.

I'll go. Who laughs is out.

-Come here, Angelo.
-No.

Angelo, come here.

I said stop, Frank.
I swear, I said stop, Frank.

I said...

He smashed the bottle on his head.

He's crazy.

Are you crazy?

It's made of sugar.

For five seconds
I thought it was a real bottle.

Mm, it's made of sugar.

Do you think I would smash a bottle
on someone's head, glass everywhere,

while he's left
without a scratch because...

He's The Boys, on Amazon.

I'll press a button.
I'll go with the Wi-Fi.

On Stage.

You all must listen
to the person on stage.

Michela Giraud on stage, please.

So, Angelo, I'd be honored
if you introduced me a little bit.

Of course. Anything I should say?

No. Whatever you think.

Go, exactly.

Dear friends, here we are, this is LOL.

A show where some comedians

are locked up

for hours trying to make no one laugh.

But it's not only about comedians today.
We also have Michela Giraud!

Bravo!

What an asshole!

I'm awful, I know.

Good evening!

Good evening!

Let's give it up as if I was funny!

What an enthusiasm,
it looks like the first page of Libero.

Thanks, I wanna say something.
This year it hasn't been easy for me,

but something good happened.

Italian nationality, 160 pounds,
basically Auricchio-shaped,

-I got in a relationship. Applause.
-Bravo!

And I ended up with a fan of mine.
Yes, gentlemen, think about it.

One of you could have lived the dream.

Living the dream, Elio. You.

Have you lived it? No. But you could have.

I'm getting worried.

This time I dated a fan,

maybe because he was sweet, thoughtful,

maybe because
he had unquestionable values,

like a dick as big as a bowl of water

which reaches remarkable dimensions.

-Water is good.
-So is the dick.

I mean, a relationship... Me, from Rome,

him, from northern Italy. After a while
he calls me, "Have you seen me

"kind of worried today?"
And I say, "No."

And he's like, "I thought
that maybe we shouldn't..."

"What?"

Suddenly, Elio, silence.

I say, "Are you breaking up with me?"

And he starts this grammelot of courage,
he's like...

"Well, Juventus, Champions League."

And then this whole Socratic method

where I basically help him break up
with me. I broke up with myself.

It's like you

see Joan of Arc on the pyre
and tell her, "Hey, Joan, sorry,

"do you have a lighter?
So I can set you on fire."

When you break up with somebody,
the only important thing

is to disappear from social networks.

Because if you cry, you're pathetic.

If you show your boobs,
you're both pathetic and a loser.

So what did I do
after I broke up with him?

The crazy whore.

I posted a story with a Tiziano Ferro song
and my boobs out...

Let's say it was kind of

a social Pietà by Michelangelo,

so we think that acting like a crazy whore

will bring the person back to you.
Do you know The Crazy Whore?

I'll sing you the song.

Crazy whore

That crazy whore

If your dignity is here no more
By the crazy whore it will be restored

-Bravo!
-Bravo!

Thank you.

Holy fuck, it is hard! It's so stressful.

Fru said, "Without laughter, it feels like
you're hearing somebody doing therapy."

Does the Crazy Whore song really exist?

I made it up.

Was it registered with SIAE?
Is there sheet music for it?

It's a good idea.

-Will you arrange it for me?
-Sure.

Would you?

The Crazy Whore?
You don't even need to ask.

I must say, as a singer,
she was memorable.

Shall we do the musical?

-Yes!
-Go!

We could pretend that we're all at home
and there's been a murder.

-Yes.
-Okay.

We should find the killer.

And who died? I would say comedy today.

Let's go!

Comedy died

And the murderer is one of you

What a fool.

Could it be Angelo Pintus?

No!

Who could it be?

I don't know

But if we're all here, who killed comedy?

That's a good question, Katia.

That's a good question

Yes, it is

That's a good question

So who did it?

We don't know

My ass!

We will never know

Ouch!

Poor Katia.

Each one of us is guilty

Of killing comedy

Who did it?

Come on!

I'll smash the guitar on the floor!

-Amazing.
-I got chills.

Nice, well done.

-It's the best musical I've ever seen.
-Me, too.

Look, I feel like crying.

I can't believe it was all improvised.

-That's right.
-Everything fitted...

Perfect.

I think I was underutilized.

In fact, if I may,
I'd like you to hear something.

Love me, Alfredo

Love me, Alfredo

I could have done this.
But, out of humility, I didn't.

Elio, look at this...

-Look at this illusion.
-You meant bullshit?

Very nice.

Unfortunately for you, it's not funny.
But nice.

I'll pull a lever.

Yes.

See how powerful you feel from here?

I'll pull this one.

What's up?

Super Me.

There's a superhero hiding inside
all of you... Let's see which one!

Let's see what superheroes
are hiding in the super comedians

Lillo, Frank and Ciro.

I wanted to do the Invisible Woman.
Well, nothing, then.

I wanted to write "ant" on my forehead.

In front of the mirror, I thought,
"Can I write in reverse?"

"Tna?"

Look over there.
What does it say over there?

"Tna."

Ant? What does it mean?

What kind of joke is it?

You can't laugh at this, it's hideous.

Is there a phone here?
I want to call home.

Call from here.

Seriously, tell me what it means.
I wanna do something, too. I'm bored.

-Do a superhero.
-But I don't know what...

I know what you did last summer.

Good evening, and welcome,
ladies and gentlemen.

So, it's LOL time,
with the comedians who are now becoming...

I'm very happy, it's okay.

I'm going around like this.
So, shall we cook something?

Yes, Zlatan.

-This is Ligabue.
-No.

This is Cannavacciuolo.

-This is Ligabue, guys.
-Cannavacciuolo.

Cannavacciuolo is...

Some nights...

-There's some confusion in your mind.
-Yes.

Look, he's a superhero now. Who are you?

-I'm Patman.
-What do you mean? I'm suffering, Ciro.

-He does "pat-pat."
-I got how it works.

It's Lillo.

Guys...

Another superhero is here?

There's no escape.
And you're forced to look at him.

I'm Poserman.

Oh, my goodness!

I'm laughing inside!

Why Poserman?

-Call my name.
-Poserman!

Who's the third one?

-Frank!
-What superhero is that?

I'm Ant Man.

Ant Man.

-It's written backwards.
-I wrote it in front of the mirror.

I talk to ants, they live on me
and I send them to make sandwiches.

-Give us some proof.
-They're not here right now.

-Of your powers.
-Not now.

-You're a useless superhero.
-Come on, it's gonna be fine.

-What kind of sandwiches do they make?
-Mortadella and cheese.

And I sweat mayonnaise.

He's completely insane.

The other two created superheroes
who made sense.

His superhero doesn't make any sense.

What do you do all together?

No, I don't have any superpowers.

-I just comfort people.
-Nice superpower.

No, I just wait for people to call me.

Poserman!

Poserman!

Poserman!

Poserman is a superhero
who strikes great poses.

Batman doesn't do that,

neither does Superman or Spider-Man.
But that's the only thing he can do.

How many poses do you have?

Six.

Poserman!

The cape hinders me a bit.

It's normal.

Poserman!

-I have another one. Call me.
-Poserman!

Nice one!

Do you think under those glasses
there's someone we know?

I'm Lillo!

-Come on, Lillo! I can't believe it.
-It's Lillo!

Unrecognizable, good job.

Guys, this is art! Not that "tna."

We laughed so much inside,
but outside we didn't give in to anybody.

This was really nice. Too bad it's over.

Excuse me. No, I mean, if you want...
Otherwise, let's do this.

Now sit.

My goodness, you sound like my mother.

I am your mother.

Red button. I saw it.

-Who laughed?
-I did.

-What's going on?
-Someone laughed?

They're taking us out out of despair.

Oh, yes.

Do you know what Desperate Housewives is?

No, no, no.

Matano is losing his mind.

Three million euros going twice,
going for the third...

Sold!

-Hey, Fede!
-Unbelievable.

-I'm here for another expulsion.
-Right.

Ouch! What a nightmare.