LOL: Last One Laughing Italy (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - LOL - Chi ride è fuori Ep.2 - full transcript

LOL
LAST ONE LAUGHING ITALY

Donatella for a cancellation
at register two.

Cash to eight, price to two.

I'll repeat...

Laughter. I saw it.

Oh, come on, guys.

Ouch.

Yeah, wow, that's so obvious.
This is red card material.

He knows, he does.

Oh, my God!

He's better looking than before.



Let's watch the video.

I'll repeat...

You laughed just like the time...

-That was obvious.
-Holy cow!

You're officially cautioned.

-This is too much.
-You laughed so much!

I would have expelled him.

You made me laugh when you said...

I'll repeat.

I'll repeat.

I couldn't do it.
I tried to resist, but I gave in.

After Fru, Ciro's the next to get
the yellow card. Now they're both at risk.

One more crack-up and they're out.

-Go ahead. Go, go, go.
-Go!



You know how it originated? Because...

One day I was at the supermarket...

-I don't want to know.
-Come on!

No, you can't forbid me to tell things!

Guys, somebody wet the sofa.

I peed on it.

A little thrill.

Okay, I'm settling in.

I mean, I'm relaxing...

You know what, Frank?
I don't miss laughing.

I've cut it out of my life.

Just like sex.

What is he doing?

Yeah, well, laughing is overrated.

-True.
-What's the point?

Let's burp instead!

I need a moment of reflection
to explain this.

Why are you moving the plants?

No, do you know what this is?

It's aloha.
I wanted to make a joke with "aloha."

You have a mustache.
And it doesn't bother me.

Then neither should Michela's moustache.

I have a mustache right here.

Anyway, I want to show you something.

I'm gonna get it.

I have something in my suitcase...

I'll just say...

It's not the backpack.
That's not that funny.

That object
will take someone out of the game.

I think you will like it a lot.

Oh my God, he's challenging him.

Nice.

When I flip it, you know what happens?

It's so funny!

I'm killing myself, I find it so funny.

The fact that I didn't laugh
doesn't mean anything.

It is very funny.

He thought that weapon

would work on me.
Instead, I wanted to punch him.

It reminds me of a frog falling down.

It is very funny. Very funny!

It's so funny.

What a rascal.

A real rascal.

Give it to me. I'll use it against Frank.

Frank! Oh.

Go away!

Pintus is trying to make Matano laugh

using one of his own props!

Go away with that thing!

He looks like the Antichrist.

This is Kryptonite for me.

You can run away from your destiny,

but it will wait for you.

Contestants, it's been an hour
and you're all still in the game.

-Thanks.
-Thanks.

I don't know about you,
but I feel like time flew.

You know what? I'm bored.
Shall I press the cloud?

Are you nuts?

Shit!

He gets scared every time!

Katia with a leaf blower.

Look at Elio's face!

Fuck, Elio doesn't speak!

Tell me when to stop, okay?

Stop, thanks.

-Thank you.
-A bit of air.

Nice, that's good.
Move your body a bit, turn around.

Turn around. Like that, that's good.

Yes.

Look at the camera.

Put your hair down.

Well done.

Ciro, come to Grandma.

-Your grandma is here, Fru.
-Pintus.

It's unbearable!

Grandma, sit down.

-We have to go to mass.
-No, no mass.

Jesus was born.

I'm not smiling. I'm very serious.

-We have to go to mass.
-Why do you whistle while talking?

-I don't whistle!
-Yes, you do, Grandma.

-Don't make her angry.
-I'm not whistling!

You whistled twice.

For goodness' sake!

I'm dying.

I think every organ inside me
has exploded.

Because this is killing me!

I can't handle this.

Grandma whistling is hilarious.

It's terrible, but hilarious.

Grandma, did you ever have thrush?

-Thrush?
-Yes.

-Oh, God.
-No surprise.

That's who I got it from!

-So you and your grandma...
-Yes.

I'll do anything for my grandchildren.

-Including giving them thrush?
-For Christmas?

Frank, stop making him say stuff,
he makes me laugh!

Do you remember how she gave you thrush?

-Yes.
-It was a vertical 69, do you remember?

-Your grandma was holding you.
-Yes.

-Stop it!
-Shit, it's a frontal assault on Fru.

Make that drink, Angelo. Make it neat.

Have you seen who's here?

-Sweetheart.
-Fru's boyfriend.

Busted!

Ciro, you're hilarious.

It's hysterical.

-I'll go, Mara.
-Okay.

I have doubts.

-Did you laugh?
-Holy shit.

Oh, my God.

-Who laughed?
-Here again.

Some of you are on thin ice.

Federico, take it easy, though.
You're making me feel guilty.

It's a comedy show!
I feel like I'm going to jail.

Let's watch the video.

This is nerve-wracking.

Make that drink, Angelo. Make it neat.

Have you seen who's here, Grandma?

-Sweetheart.
-Fru's boyfriend.

-What is that?
-That's not laughing.

Not at all!

Wait...

That's not laughing.

Well, yeah, he laughed. He did everything
to recover, but he couldn't.

No way.

You hadn't been drinking yet.

I made a mistake, I looked at him,
and I forgot that I couldn't laugh.

Well done. I wasn't laughing
until I came talk to you and you said...

A yellow card for Luca Ravenna.
Next time he will be expelled.

LOL is restarting.

-Play against Grandma.
-No, Ciro, stop.

I'll leave. I'll go get changed.

This music makes me really nervous.

So, who wants a margarita?

Angelo Pintus was making us cocktails...

Where is Lillo?

...and it was clearly a strategy
to bring us down.

Sorry, maybe you're preparing
something extraordinary...

Oh, the cocktail. Thanks.

-Honestly, tell me how it is.
-It tastes like piss.

It's perfect, it's perfect.

Luca...

-Was that sound his neck cracking?
-Yeah, I think so.

I came to visit you
because you crashed into a museum.

You hit the wall and then the painting.

My head went through the painting?

-Yes.
-I see.

Were you driving a car or a scooter?

Help, a man is harassing me.

Hello, I'm kindly asking you
to closely monitor Frank Matano.

How were you born?
How did you get this far?

I was born from a vagina,
like everyone else, I guess.

A natural birth.

-Stop. Shut up.
-No, Lillo, I'm scared.

-I'll be gentle.
-No!

I'll do it. Go.

-Relax. Are you ready?
-So scary.

This is a typical LOL weapon.

It seems real. Look at this...

I'm keeping an eye on Luca Ravenna.

Because he's become aloof,
he's not getting involved.

Frank, I see you're a bit sweaty.
Go to the shower room.

-Your armpits are...
-My God! That's like Lake Trasimeno.

-Hello?
-Frank?

I can't hear you very well.
I'm talking through a shower head.

-You can't laugh.
-I won't.

It's normal to talk in a shower stall.

How do you dial numbers on this thing?

Do I call you with the hot water?

Can I ask you a favor?

Since Luca Ravenna is a bit aloof...

Drag him in a little bit.
Involve him, provoke him...

-I'll see what I can do.
-Okay.

How do I hang up?

Oh, let's see now.
It's our first secret mission, Mara.

-You bastard!
-For goodness' sake. I didn't laugh.

I just shit my pants. And not because
of the sound. Because of you.

Luca, my dad is a guard.

When I was a child, he used to dress me
as a policeman. I got paid already.

Then I quit. I didn't like the army life,
but I looked great in a uniform.

A picture of him as a child!

What department, precisely?

I worked with sniffer dogs.
Sniffer puppies, actually.

-Little sniffers.
-That was funny.

Frank struck the blow to Ravenna.
He didn't involve him so much.

Maybe he's getting ready.

-Maybe.
-He's developing the idea.

Can I do an impersonation performance?

-Yes.
-Go ahead.

-Bravo!
-Good!

I warn you, if you want to win this game,

don't listen to me or you might laugh.

Shit.

This is a 30-year-old man
who doesn't know how to read a clock.

Analog clocks.

But he tries.
Can you ask me what time it is?

What time is it?

It's three o'clock?

You say it with the question mark?

Oh, look at Ciro, Mara!
He's struggling to hold back.

This is Mickey Mouse
having a prostate exam.

This is a priest without arms.

"In the name of the Father, the Son
and the Holy Spirit. Amen."

He's so funny.

This is Massimo Troisi's brother.

"My brother was an extraordinary person
and a great comedian."

They're so alike!

-Amazing.
-Very good.

Bravo.

Massimo's brother...
How did he even come up with that?

I'm also working on this character.

It's a robot coming to Earth,

it looks like a human
and nobody can find out it's a robot.

But it's a prick, and its name is Roborto.

There's no connection between the name
Roberto and the word "robot."

So funny.

-I'd like to leave the room.
-Give it time, it gets better.

When they give a toast,
you know what Roborto does?

It accidentally says,
"Death to humans. I mean, cheers."

Well, it's genius.

-Why the gesture?
-They think it's a human thing.

And if you get close to the hand,
you know what you hear?

Elio, ask me, "What do you think
about Alexa, Roborto?"

What do you think about Alexa?

There's something special about her.

That's hilarious.

Elio, ask it what is love.
Look what it does.

What is love?

At 56 megabytes.

Nice one.

Well done!

Make it grow. The best part was the...

By the way, this is the symbol...

-Yeah, of human beings.
-...of humans.

I think that if you want to succeed
in comedy, you need to be foolish.

And he's really foolish. Well done!

I don't trust you.

Fru, don't touch.

Let's not break anything.

At some point, Fru started
to walk around in his own world.

We found him somewhere in the theater...

Do you think you're better than me?

Yes or not? Yes or not? Move, let me see.

You are? Good, very good.

What is he doing?

At first,
drugs don't seem to be a problem.

But then, years later,
you start wearing a floral shirt,

then the hair... "I'll keep it, I won't."

-And then...
-It's a wig.

There you go.

So, Caterina Guzzanti
went to get something.

I can decorate, if you want.

What do you mean?

No, I mean,
if you're eating here, for example,

I can decorate with a painting,
which is an important painting, too.

There she is.

This is not good.

Where are you going?

Excuse me, my name is Pippa Amazon.

-Pippa Amazon?
-Yes.

I'm Mario John Amazon's daughter,

who is the owner of this joint.

You're a bit cocky, though.

So, since my dad owns all of this,

he sent me to tell you that...

You speak perfectly!

-Did you get lost?
-Wait, let me speak.

-He said...
-Lillo is struggling.

That now you need to speak English.

Dad said this is a chance...

That's not true, don't worry.
Don't listen to her.

My God!

Look at Frank!

She was staring at me while doing that.
I was going crazy.

She came here because her dad told her
to come and speak in English

because this could be
an opportunity for us.

For you all. And besides,
people won't understand anything.

-No, but she said...
-Don't worry, it will be subtitled.

-See?
-Do you want a cigarette?

Come on now!

You're always here, in Italy,

always eating
pasta alla Gricia, sirtaki...

Sirtaki is not Italian.

You always do this stuff in your own
little world that nobody cares about.

Actually, we are important.

Instead, this is important because...

-I adore Italy, by the way!
-Why, then?

You're in love with Italy.

Love! I've been here for several years,

in Madrid, Geneva, Florence.

-In Italy?
-That's not Italy.

Bucharest.

Bucharest? Why?

She doesn't know anything.
Don't listen to her.

"Don't listen to her."

In that moment I thought,
"Michela, don't."

She's good. Very good.

Excuse me,
imagine Cannavacciuolo entertaining.

Well, shall we use our hands?

-You...
-Shall we dance?

Shall we do it like this?

He started with Cannavacciuolo.

Let's taste, come on.

I'll take the tomato...

You sound the same
and you're not from the South!

Frank is reaching his limit.

So, you take the tomato, you cut it...

Pintus was hilarious when he was imitating
Cannavacciuolo. I trembled for a moment.

Let's make... Let's take
the zero-kilometer ingredient...

I had to turn off my ears,
as well as my muscles.

You must listen!

-We have no change.
-Goodbye!

Angelo Pintus' strategy was to be
a pain in the ass. Can I say that?

"Be quick," on the background.

-Cracco.
-That's right.

I would liven things up. Button?

-Yes, button.
-I hope we won't explode.

Tell me, I'm scared to press... I'll go.

You pick one.

-What's happening?
-On Stage.

Oh, boy.

You're all obliged
to listen to the person on stage.

On Stage. If they ask me,
I'll pretend to pass out.

Got it, Mara?

White button,
nothing explodes, like that one.

No.

Someone takes the stage
and the others have to listen.

Luca Ravenna, it's your turn.

Go, Luca!

-Go, Luca.
-Check, one, two, three. Check.

If you've ever been on stage or in front
of a camera, you know how hard it is.

That was basically impossible.

Good evening, everyone!

Let me hear a big round of applause,
as if I was naked.

What enthusiasm, guys!

Like a 600 euro bonus from the INPS.

So, tonight we have
an incredible comedian, a special one.

He's from Milan, and he's funny, too.

Give it up for Luca Ravenna!

Good evening, theater. How is it going?

-Good!
-Everything's fine.

How's it going so far?

-Good.
-Well, Frank is so-so.

-Where are you from? Beautiful accent.
-Milan.

What do you think about Milanese accent?

-I really like it.
-Do you find it sexy?

I don't pay attention to it.

With that accent
you can't say anything sexy.

-You, in the front. Where are you from?
-I'm from Caserta.

Have you ever faked the Milanese accent
in order to seduce somebody?

Never.

Maybe you once said,
"Buddy, I don't know what to tell her..."

No, never... It happened with my accent.

And a friend suggested
you use the Milanese accent.

No, never.

And then maybe you approached a girl
at a table and said, "Hey, Princess.

"Will you show me your osso buco, please?"

Please, Luca...

You're a tough crowd,
give yourselves a round of applause.

-Bravo!
-Amazing! Really.

Can you normally tell if laughter
is real or fake in real life?

Yes, I can.

For me, it's literally impossible.

It's as hard as telling if a woman
really comes or she's faking.

No, but that... They all pretend.

I should have a tuning fork
next to the bed when we make love.

Okay.

Bravo, Luca!

He's very good
because I think there's nothing worse

than performing
in front of a passive audience.

Where is Ciro? What is he doing?
Why does he disappear?

I can't take it anymore!

-Nice.
-I was with my son there.

Yeah. Do you miss him?

A little bit, yes.

Well done, Katia. Touché.

What the fuck is that?

Stop, please stop!
You're 600 years old. Stop!

No, I can still do it.

The funny thing is that the legs are fake.

-Really?
-His legs are down here.

-Not many people get it.
-I didn't realize.

Oh, yes.

I liked the music.
Do I have something in my teeth?

I tried to interact with Luca Ravenna
in a soft-porn way.

What the fuck are Ravenna and Katia doing?
Are they making out?

They're about to kiss!

How deep do you want to go
and feel my breath?

And she went deep.

She put her tongue in his mouth!
What the fuck is she doing?

He didn't laugh. Honestly, I don't think
he got excited that much either.

This is the summer dance

I "moves" and so do you.

-Ah, I "moves."
-Yes.

Okay, I'll go downstairs.

You're great.

-Is there a ladder?
-Wait a moment.

-Can you do it again?
-I'm great at this.

Let's see.

-Wow, perfect.
-I got chills.

Mara.

First expulsion.

-This is an expulsion, Mara.
-That was a real laugh.

Damn, I'm so sorry.

Shit. It's hard.

Oh, my God!

Fede, what a face! Help!

As you know, three people got a warning,
that is Ciro, Fru and Luca Ravenna.

And unfortunately,
I'm not bringing any good news,

because we have
the first official expulsion.

No!

The first LOL contestant
to leave the theater is...

Let's have a look.

Elio. It must be Elio.

I'm great at this.

No! Come on, no!

There he is.

No!

I mean, you expelled yourself
even metaphorically.

I'm a moron. I forgot to not laugh.
I forgot the rules, the only one.

I have to compliment you.
You left in style.

You killed yourself.

Whenever I'll think about LOL,

I will remember him
pretending to go down the stairs

and proudly laughing about it.

Fru, you're officially expelled from LOL.

Bye, Gianlu, thanks!

I'm a little envious.

Goodbye, my friends.

Think about your journey!

I was hoping they were following me.

Guys, you realize it's not easy.
It's hard, so stay focused,

because we are going to start again soon.

-Oh, God.
-See you later.

-Thank you.
-And you.

I'm the first to lose,
so I'm the first at something.

Is there a prize?

The first LOL contestant
to be expelled is Fru.

Ciro and Luca Ravenna have yellow cards.

Hi!

-Fru!
-Hi!

I admit, I actually wanted to be with you
rather than participate in the game.

-What a shame.
-Take a seat.

-I'm sorry. He's very funny.
-He was too young.

He didn't stand a chance.

LOL can restart now. Who laughs is out.

And now, enough with the painting!

Elio is taking off the painting.

Yeah, exactly.

-What the fuck is that?
-Oh, no.

I can finally breathe.

Now I can drink.

-No, come on.
-Amazing.

-Thank you.
-You look great.

Yeah, I know.

-I didn't know about that.
-Holy shit.

-It's hilarious.
-I don't want to look at you, Elio.

I couldn't look at him. Elio had four arms
for no reason at all.

I think we'll lose our minds in here.

Like this, of course.

Matano has to concentrate.

-I realized it wasn't the paint.
-Nice to meet you. Tough hand.

Listen, will you get away from me?

-Are you afraid of me, Elio?
-Very.

Okay, Lillo is almost ready.

Actually, no, Lillo is ready.

He's like Cocciante on drugs.

Here it is.

Why?

Can we dance with you?

The only thing you can do
is dance with him

so you don't laugh.

The problem is that I'm good.

So it's difficult to make them laugh.

Wait!

Hold on. It was me.

No!

-Very good!
-That is...

-Greg?
-Lillo.

-Ouch.
-I don't think it's me.

Oh, yes.

-Busted.
-Who laughed?

Good evening ladies and gentlemen,
it's LOL time.

-He's crazy.
-Hey, Poserman!

-Stop it!
-Yeah!

Yeah!

Red button!

Time flies when you're having fun...

We have the second red card.