Kung Fu Panda: The Paws of Destiny (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 7 - Big Trouble in Panda Village - full transcript

[TITLE MUSIC]

1x07 - Big Trouble in Panda Village

PO: I will never
let you take my chi.

NU HAI: [EXCLAIMING]
Master Po!

JINDIAO: Goodbye,
so-called Dragon Master!

- No!
- It's too late.

We gotta get outta here.

JINDIAO: Children, I beg
you not to put up a fight.

It'll only make things worse.

You have no choice but to
surrender your Hero Chi to me.

Just as your pathetic
former master did.



I think we should give
our chi to Master Jindiao.

We can't win.
We're outnumbered.

- Master Po isn't here to help.
- Jing, what is your deal?

[LAUGHING]

[JINDIAO LAUGHING]

[EXCLAIMING]
Hiya!

- Get them!
- Run!

[GRUNTING]
[MUSIC]

Jing, let's go.
Move your panda butt!

- Jing!
- Nu Hai, it's too late. Come on!

Oh, awesome!
You guys!

We're in trouble
and we need you

to help us with your
epic Kung Fu skills.

Oh, yeah, we're more comfortable
in a tournament setting.



- Seriously?
- Raah!

Are we really
leaving Jing behind?

Bro, she betrayed Master Po!

But, Nu Hai, she's your best friend.

Jindiao has turned her against us.

If we don't save ourselves now,

we'll never get a chance
to save her later.

[THUD]

Well, you tried.

You did what you could
with power you didn't earn.

And now you will give
that power to Master Jindiao.

[PANTING]
[GROWLS]

What do we do? Any ideas?

Huh? Anything? I'm stumped.

You're always saying you're
the leader, right? So just lead.

Okay, I just need a minute
to collect my thoughts.

Never mind.
Jump!

[SCREAMING]

I did not see that coming.
[GRUNTS] Oh, sorry.

[SCREAMING]
[MUSIC]

How did you know
this would work?

That's the dopest part.
I didn't.

I just jumped and kinda
hoped for the best.

[STILL SCREAMING]

What do you mean they
jumped over the railing?

I know, right?
I was like "whaaat?"

Master, we cornered them.

- We had them dead to rights.
- Find them.

I will not squander this
chance to reclaim what is mine.

Looks like you're alone
in the world, little panda.

[SIGHS]

No friends. No Po.
I'm all you have left.

BUNNIDHARMA:
[EXCLAIMING] Whoa.

[LAUGHING]

Oh, this is,
this is very heavy.

[ALL PANTING]

Oh, gosh! That was...

Whew! I-I gotta take a knee.

And... [GASPING]

Maybe a nap.

[GASPS] Guys, uh, guys, I don't
think this is the best place to rest.

- Why not?
- 'Cause they found us.

Okay, I'm up. I'm up.
Got my second wind.

- Let's go!
- We're never gonna outrun them.

[SNIFFING]

I can still smell them.
They couldn't have gotten far.

[STOMACH GRUMBLING]

[STOMACH GRUMBLING]

[EXCLAIMING] Whoops.
That must've been my tummy.

It was saying, "Give me snacks."

[ANNOYED GROWL]

[GRUNTS] Keep looking!
Search every inch of this forest.

[GRUNTING]

[THUD]
BAO: [EXCLAIMING] Dude.

[CRIES]

Nu Hai, you okay?

No, I'm not.
My best friend turned against us

and betrayed Master Po.

What're we even supposed to do?

Maybe we should just think about

what Master Po would do,
and do that.

No. Master Po's not here.

You're in charge now, sis.

We should think about what you
would do. You're our leader.

[SNIFFING]

You're right.

Okay, so Jindiao
will probably assume

we're headed back to Panda Village.

Which means that everybody
we know is in deep...

Trouble. There's gonna be
plenty of time for crying later.

Right now, we've gotta get
back and protect our village.

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

BUNNIDHARMA: [EXCLAIMING] Oh.

[LAUGHING]

[GASPS AND SCREAMS]

[CLATTERING]

Huh?

Where am I?
Ow! Hey, what was that for.

You ask me a question. [GULPS]
I hit you with a stick.

You say nothing.
I also hit you with a stick.

Hey!

You think about talking,
but then say nothing.

Ow, ow, ow.

Yeah, I get it,
you hit me with a stick.

You are in my cave.

I found you in the snow.

You looked pretty dead.
But you weren't. Good for you.

Oh, come on!

[GIGGLING]

[BELL TONGING]

[GASPS]

Whoa!

NU HAI: Everyone listen up!

We've got a huge announcement.

Now I don't wanna
freak anybody out,

but there is something
very bad coming our way.

And that
very-bad-something is...

[INHALES]

Grand Abbot Jindiao.

Grand Abbot Jindiao?
[LAUGHTER]

Oh, come on.
He's a perfect gentleman.

No, I'm serious.

Jindiao is not who
we all thought he was.

He's really a
thousand-year-old evil dragon.

[LAUGHS]
Kids, surely there's a mistake.

That kindly old man wouldn't hurt a fly.

Oh! He'd hurt a lot more than
a fly. He kicked Master Po...

[EXCLAIMING]
He kicked my little baby boy?

Wait. Where's Po?

[CRYING]

He's fine!
Po's perfectly fine!

- But he sent us to warn you.
- For real,

something hecka bad
is coming toward the village.

We need to lock it down.

Jindiao is after
our powerful Hero Chi.

Right. And I still got
most of my teeth.

Get it? 'Cause I'm old
and I don't floss regularly.

We're serious. It's all of our
duty to protect the village.

Oh, to have the mind
of a child again.

[LAUGHING]

Kids, it's all sounding
a little far-fetched.

I mean, why should
we believe you?

'Cause this.

[VILLAGERS GASP]

[MUSIC]

I know this all sounds
crazy, but we're in a crazy

situation right now and
we're running out of time.

Jindiao is on his way right now.

He wants us!
He wants our power.

And without your help,
he's probably gonna get it.

And that's bad for everybody.
So please help us stop him.

[COOING]

NU HAI: Please.
For the future of our village.

[RAP SONG PLAYING]

Well, let's hope that's enough
to keep the bad guys at bay.

Well, it's the only
way into the village.

There's no reason
to think that...

Come on. You gotta be
freakin' kidding me.

PO: [EXCLAIMING] Whoa, hey!

You've got Four
Constellations action figures?

Whooo. Ah-ta-taa.
[GRUNTS]

Ow! Oh. Okay, I get it.
I'm a collector too.

You don't want my
grubby paws on 'em,

'cause it'll ruin the resale value.
I'm totally down with that.

You gotta keep 'em mint condition.

It's all about the mint condish.

What is wrong with you?
I am really asking.

Look, buddy, I'm getting a little sick
of this stick thing you keep doing.

I mean, I totally get
that it's your thang,

but, uh, I'm needed elsewhere.

So I'm out.
Vaya con dios, cotton tail.

[SCREAMS]

Now will you tell me
what is wrong with you?

I... It's gonna sound crazy,
but I lost my chi.

This evil dude drained it outta me!

It also feels like he might've
taken the bones out of my legs.

I'm not sure, 'cause
I'm real wobbly here.

Hey, don't worry.
We'll find your lost chi.

Yeah?

I don't know.
[LAUGHS] Oh, sorry.

I was only laughing because
of how pathetic you are.

- Never gets old.
- Aargh!

[GRUNTING]

Noodle cart attack!

Oh, I feel so alive!

I'm here, if anyone needs me!

I think we're sort of winning!

[EVIL LAUGHTER]

JINDIAO: There is no reason
to fight, gentle pandas.

Especially since you cannot
win, and we will crush you.

[GRUNTS AND GROANS]

Jing!

You and your friends
will surrender to me

or I will wipe this entire
village off the map.

I'm sorry, Nu Hai.
This is my fault.

So what will it be?
Your chi?

Or the lives of
every panda in Panda Village?

Oh, and do decide quickly.

[PO GROANS]

What are you doing?

I'm trying to fix
whatever is wrong with you.

What is wrong with you again?

I lost my chi and got kicked off
the side of a mountain, remember?

Oh, right.
That was you, huh?

My memory's a little...
nonexistent sometimes.

You promised to help me
get my Hero Chi back.

Yes, yes. And you're still
too weak to move and you're

in a hurry because you are
worried about your students.

I-I never mentioned
anything about my students.

Hey, my memory's shot,

but everything else seems
to be working pretty good.

Okay, that doesn't even
begin to answer my...

Hold that thought.
I'm going to try to fix you.

[GRUNTING]

Hey, how'd you do that?
I'm all better.

As soon as I've
found my students,

I'll swing back by to give
you a proper thank you.

Maybe bring you a nice
casserole or something.

Okay. Thanks, again, buddy.
Mad respect.

Catch you on the flip side.

Of course, you still don't
have your Hero Chi.

[GASPS] I don't?

No offense, but you're probably
not gonna get that casserole now.

Where's my chi?
How do I get my chi back?

How did you harness
your chi the first time?

Hard work. Heck, I almost
trained my panda butt off.

Almost. I mean,
my butt's still there, but...

Well then. You have your answer.
You will train with me.

Uh, do you even know Kung Fu?

Sure! Quick.
Try to hit me in the fa...

I wasn't ready.
Try again.

Oh, no, no, no, I couldn't.

You're an elderly gentleman
and I don't wanna...

Punch me again,
you big wussy baby!

Oh, it's like that?

- It is, in fact, like that.
- Aw, yeah!

[GRUNTING]
[MUSIC]

[PANTING]

Dude, seriously, who are you?

Your decision, young panda.

Yeah. Uh... Can you
repeat the question?

Cease this stalling!

- Any ideas?
- Nah, this is all you.

How do we know our village will be safe

- if we turn ourselves in?
- You have my word.

Uh, no offense but
you've been lying about

who you are for like a thousand years.

So it's a skosh hard
to trust anything you say.

Once I have the chi you possess,

I'll have no use
for your little... village.

[DRY GULP]

This is your call.
We got your back.

Wise choice.

Now, to prevent any of you
from trying to play hero...

Yo! Not cool!

Guys, I think they're just sleeping.

They will all awaken
from their slumber

as long as the four of you cooperate.

[MUSIC]

[STRAINING]

[GASPING]

[GROANING]

Perhaps a rousing song
might lift our spirits.

And a-one,
and a-two, and a...

How're you not
terrified right now?

Oh, sometimes when something
really scares me,

I think of something even worse

and the scary thing feels less scary.

Like for instance,
at least we're not on fire

or being stung by jellyfishes. Yay.

[SCREAMS]

You ever touch me again,
I'm gonna yank those

fangs outta your face
and feed 'em to you.

Just when I thought
it couldn't get any worse,

- here comes the traitor.
- Are you okay?

We were so worried.

Forget that! You totally
sold us out and turned on us.

No, I didn't!
That feathered turd used his chi

to take over my brain somehow.

- How?
- I don't know.

It started when I healed Jindiao.

- Somehow he got his hooks in me.
- You're with us now.

You're safe. Ish. Safe-ish.

Actually, probably
not safe at all.

But, hey, we've got each other.

How do we know Jindiao's
not using her to trick us?

He could be in her head
listening to everything we say.

Or he could get her to, you
know, de-life us in our sleep.

Aw, Jing, that's real disappointing.

Bao's right!
Jindiao could do all that!

Weird thing to get excited about.

Maybe it works both ways.

Maybe Jing can get
into Jindiao's mind.

And we could see what he sees,
or, or make him do our bidding.

There's no way.
Jindiao is way too powerful.

I felt it first-hand.
I would never be strong enough.

NU HAI: You're right.
You wouldn't. Not alone.

But you're not alone.
You've got us.

And if we work together
and combined our chi,

maybe we can kick
Jindiao out of Jing's head.

Fine. I guess we gotta
stick together or whatever.

- Yes! We did it!
- [GASPS] Did we?

I don't know.
Jing, did we?

I hope. Something still
doesn't feel quite right.

- Hmm.
- Ow!

Your posture is horrible.
You need to fix this.

- Ow!
- And this! This!

This, this, this. This.

And ow!
Is that really necessary?

I mean, I'm the Dragon Master.

You're not just a Dragon
Master. You're a panda.

Pandas are special.

It is why the Ancient Masters
chose the pandas as Guardians.

Guardians? What the heck
does that even mean?

I don't know.
Anyway, good chat.

Wait. Wait, w-where are you go...

[SIGHS]

[GRUNTS]

Whoa!

Hey, weird rabbit guy!
I think it's actually working!

Okay, I'll show you later.

[GRUNTS]

[SNORING]

Oh, my gosh!

Oh, my gosh. Guys!

- Wait. That color.
- What's up? Huh?

Master Po...
He's alive.