Kung Fu Panda: The Paws of Destiny (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - Poison in the Pit of Plum - full transcript
When Po and the kids stop for the night at an Inn, they meet a gang who wants to fight Po and end up down a path to uncovering Jindiao's evil plan.
[TITLE MUSIC]
1x06 - Poison in the Pit of the Plum
FAN TONG:
We were so close to finding out
who sent that deer lady with the
moldy tooth to poison Master Po.
Yeah, until Butterfingers blasted
her chi all over the place.
I already told you ding-dongs...
I don't know why my chi got loose
when we were shaking down Toothy Magee!
Bring it, Mama!
PO: Guys, guys, cut Jing
some slack! [BOTH FIGHTING]
Even the best of us can suffer
from a little chi leakage sometimes.
Nobody could have seen
that coming.
But it does bring us to today's
lesson, The Element of Surprise!
Great topic, Master Po.
- Think fast!
- NU HAI: Just yesterday I was... Ow!
[ALL LAUGH]
What the...
You almost hit my dimple!
Even the best kung fu fighters
can get hung up on the rules.
They forget that sometimes in the
real world, the rules don't apply.
So in other words, we have
to expect the unexpected.
Ow!
[GIGGLING]
That's enough.
[ALL GIGGLING]
[GRUNTS AND GASPS]
Ow!
[GIGGLING]
[GASPS]
You feeling okay, Jing?
I'm fine.
Can we just get home please?
Well, I'm pretty sure
I got enlightened yesterday.
You ever wonder
if you're just dead inside?
[THUD, METAL CLINKING]
[DOOR BANGS]
Master, thank you for
helping me to escape
- the Pandas' truth serum ploy.
- Nifty trick, eh?
Lucky for you my connection to
the weird angry panda is so strong.
Huifang! More light!
Coming, Master Jindiao!
[THUD]
[GRUNTS]
The mural is most impressive,
your excellency.
Now my followers may know the true
scope of my thousand-year quest.
And now that I have
re-gained the pandas' trust,
luring them to me will be easy.
But, Master, you are not yet
strong enough to handle their chi.
You are correct. I am not.
And if Po discovers the truth?
You cannot defeat him as you are.
- Correct again. I cannot.
- Then we must wait.
On the contrary, Jade Tusk.
We cannot move fast enough.
Ah.
[GASPS]
Master Po, maybe we should
stop here for the night?
PO: Here? No way!
That inn is filled with some of
the most violent, disgusting...
and horrible criminals
you could ever find!
On the other hand, Jing
seems to be in a lot of pain
and I have read good things
about their buffet.
[HYPERVENTILATING]
[BOTH GRUNTING, GROWLING]
[SPLASH, THUD]
PO: How about an order of
dumplings, some noodles,
a plate of sweet-buns,
and twelve rice balls.
And then whatever the kids want.
I'm sorry,
we're all out of those items.
Okay, then just bring us
whatever ya got.
Master Po, do you think
Jing's going to be okay?
Yeah, she'll be fine!
This is a great place to rest.
[THULP]
[GASPING]
[SIGHING HEAVILY]
Huh?
Ah, ah.
Get to the Plum Blossom Temple.
You will be safe there.
I must get to the Plum Blossom
Temple. I will be safe there.
There is no time to waste.
Let nothing stop you.
[SCREAMING]
[PANTING]
SUYIN: Charred crickets
in spicy maggot sauce.
- Ohh.
- Looks, ha, ha, scrumptious.
SUYIN: Bone appetit!
[GAGGING]
Not gonna lie, kids.
It's the worst thing I've ever
experienced. And I've died once.
Must you slurp so loudly?!
[BELCHES]
Sorry, boss. Our mother didn't
teach us how to slurp quiet.
How is it a genius like me, got
stuck with a couple of dopes like you?
You don't remember? It was
that day we met in a cave...
and you said,
"Hey, wanna be in my gang?"
Would you keep it down?
[SIGHS]
We are here to raise our stature
in the criminal community.
All the important thieves are here.
We just need to do something
that will get us noticed.
Whatever you need, boss.
- [BIFF] He-ey!
- Hey.
Not like that,
you wart-laden dum-dums!
It's gotta be someone high profile.
A big fish that we can take on.
[DISH BREAKING]
Or a big panda.
[SIGHS, GRUNTS]
ROOSTER: If it isn't
Dragon Master Po himself!
My cohorts and I are members
of a new and promising gang.
We don't have a name yet.
But I'm leaning towards
the Rooster Brothers!
Or the Sunshine Boys!
Would you dum-dums shut it!
We'd like to challenge you to a fight.
[ALL GASP]
All righty.
What's the matter, Po?
Chicken?
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
What's that supposed to mean?
- Uh...
- Shut it!
Oh, I'd really love to!
Except I'm not the Dragon Master.
Wait, what?
You're not Dragon Master Po?
He gets that all the time!
I'm just an average panda.
With very average panda friends,
as you can see.
You know, some more average than others.
Oh, well, don't I...
don't I feel like a fool?
Yet another humiliation.
Let's go!
- Phew, that was close.
- And weird.
JING: I'm ready to go.
- You feeling better, Jing?
- I'm a hundred percent.
We must get to Plum Blossom Temple.
Cop a squat, kid.
We haven't finished our...
[SLURPING]
Food. Ohh, that's not going to sit well.
We should go!
Now, Master Po.
"Master Po?"
ROOSTER: You lying pandas!
How dare you toy
with my trustful nature?
I didn't wanna do this,
but you leave me no choice!
[WHISTLING]
Uh?
[THUD, SLAP, BIFF]
- Oh, it burns almost as bad as it tastes!
- Hey! You can't do that to Master Po!
Yeah, you want to fight him...
you're going to have to get through
us above-average pandas first!
That works for me!
[MUSIC]
Come at me, wart face!
[COUGHS]
PO: My eyes are melting!
That is not regulation kung fu!
[THUD]
Come on, at least fight clean.
[GIGGLING]
Ow! What's happening?
Are you kicking their
butts? Need me to step in?
No, sir, we have
everything under contro...
They are delayed by idiot thugs.
My patience is wearing thin.
[PECK, PECK]
[STARTLED]
[THUD, THUD]
BINGWEN: My inn.
You've ruined it! [ARGH]
Seriously, dude,
if anything, we improved it.
Get out of here, you mangy pandas!
- Jing! No!
- Ahh. [SIGHS]
Looks like it's check-out time
for us anyway. [GIGGLES]
Why don't we take Jing's advice and
head for the Plum Blossom Temple?
Thank you for your hospitality.
We'll be sure to leave you
a wonderful review!
Wasn't that Dragon Master Po
and his students?
Bet they'd bring a nice ransom.
Let's get 'em!
Me and my gang picked a fight
with him first!
We want a piece of him too!
[CLATTER]
Ow!
We have some guests
headed our way.
Prepare rooms for their arrival.
Will they be with us long,
Your Excellency?
Not long at all.
[PANTING]
- How's she doing, Fan Tong?
- JING: I'm fine.
And quit talking about me
like I'm not here!
It's okay, Master Po.
Jing's anger is helping distract me
from how freaked out I am right now.
We're almost there. I can see the
lights of the temple just ahead.
Bao's right, I see it too!
Everything's going
to be okie-dokie.
- Or will it, Master Po?
- Huh?
Ahem!
Prepare to get your butts kicked
by me and my soon-to-be
relevant gang!
What are you gonna
throw at me this time?
A pickled radish?
Some sweet sticky buns?
I would've preferred
the sweet sticky buns.
[THUD, BAM, BIFF, SLAP]
Yeah! Is that all you got?
I guess not.
All right, bring it on, baby!
Flying powder puffs?
It's an adorable nightmare!
- Po! Children! Come quickly!
- Grand Abbot Jindiao!
Thank you, Grand Abbot.
We're so grateful for your help.
Super rad digs, by the way.
I saw those terrible bandits attacking
you. Is no place safe anymore?
- Are you unharmed?
- We're okay.
But Jing's not doing so hot.
I'm fine.
I'm just not feeling myself.
I know how you feel.
Really, I do.
Take our esteemed guest to the infirmary
where she can be treated for exhaustion.
And show the children
to the sleeping quarters.
Hey, Grand Abbot, you're a wise
and, no offense, old sage.
I was thinking we could grab a late
night snack and chat about stuff.
Like, do you know anything
about an Original Dragon Master?
There will be plenty of time
for that, Po. Now you must rest.
But I'd really love to bend
your tiny ear holes about...
Have a good night's sleep, Po.
It's the last you'll ever have.
PIKA MONK 1:
Grand Abbot Jindiao,
we were able to capture
some of the bandits.
Shall we deliver them
to the authorities?
That won't be necessary.
I'll bring them to my prayer room
and speak privately with them there.
You ain't getting nothing out of me!
I'll find a way to connect
with you. Believe me.
Is it just me, or is anyone
else troubled by his tone?
[GASPS]
Shh!
- It's just me!
- Nu Hai?
I hate when you interrupt
my beauty sleep like that.
Someone was creeping around
our beds. Wake Fan Tong.
No need! I can't sleep when
there's creepy whispering happening.
I saw which way the
shadow went. Let's go!
[GRUMBLING]
Come on!
Can't you wait until morning?
[TUMMY GROWLING]
All right, all right.
I'll find you a snack,
but after that we are going
back to sleep, capeesh?
[LONGER GRUMBLE]
[ALL GRUNT]
[ALL WHEEZING AND PANTING]
[STARTLED GASPING]
[GASPS]
It's that creepy green tooth lady!
This is weird. Come on!
Can anyone direct me
to the cafeteria?
I get why they'd hide it with
all those rodents running around.
I guess, technically they're
vermin, but this seems like overkill.
[SCREAMS, THUD]
[MOANS]
[BANG] Ow!
Okay, so not the cafeteria.
Ow! Ow, ow, ow!
Whoa!
"For 1000 years, I have suffered..."
I have suffered in obscurity,
hiding my true form.
Sustaining myself with the chi
of lesser beings.
[SCREAMS]
The Four Constellations
tried to stop me once...
by trapping my soul in a Spirit Urn.
They failed. And the
Spirit Urn was lost to time.
And when I have captured the
chi of all four constellations...
and claimed the Wellspring
as my own...
I shall regain my true dragon form.
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
"So sayeth I,
the One True Dragon Master."
"Jindiao?"
Kids!
We gotta wake up, we gotta go!
- JING: Master Po.
- [STARTLED] What?
Oh, Jing. You're gonna give
me a... Where are the others?
How should I know? I've been
out of commission, remember?
Ohh, this isn't good.
Stop right there!
Don't make us hurt you.
We're taking you to Master Po.
Yeah, you're going to have
a lot of explaining to do.
Like why is your tooth green?
I admit I've been entertained
by your antics.
I will almost miss them.
Guards!
ROOSTER: This is just a setback.
As soon as we get out of these
shackles, you better watch out!
I do so enjoy
your irrational optimism.
It helps to sweeten the flavor
of your measly mortal chi.
It's barely worth the energy
it takes to harvest it.
Oh, what the heck.
Let's do it!
- Run!
- Thanks. But if anyone asks,
can you just say we kicked your butt?
- Jeez, just go!
- I'm going!
As for you, Jindiao...
No!
I won't let you hurt her!
Hurt her?
I wouldn't dream of it.
She's my greatest ally!
Ahh, ohh.
Jing! What are you...
Incredible, isn't she?
Jing, I won't fight.
I don't want to hurt you!
Ahh, ah.
JINDIAO: Apologies for the lack
of seating.
My guests generally don't
spend much time here.
[SCREAMS]
Mind you, don't fall out the
moon-door. It's a bit of a drop.
Have you any last words?
I'd love to add them to my murals.
Jing. You can fight him.
PO: I know you're in there, Jing!
Master Po and Jing
are down here!
I got this.
Hey, Fangzilla! Think fast!
Get back here!
- Come on!
- Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.
Get off me!
Fight him, Jing.
You can do it.
No. Ahh.
I'm doing it! I'm beating
him, Master Po! And if...
If you believe that, then you're
an even bigger fool than I thought!
Neat trick, isn't it?
And I'm just getting started.
But enough about me.
Let's talk about you
giving me your chi.
- I will never let you take my chi.
- Oh, don't worry, Po.
I'm not yet strong
enough to take your chi.
But she is.
You should have
fought back harder.
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
Ahh, ah.
[All GASP]
Good-bye,
so-called Dragon Master.
Master Po!
[SCREAMING]
1x06 - Poison in the Pit of the Plum
FAN TONG:
We were so close to finding out
who sent that deer lady with the
moldy tooth to poison Master Po.
Yeah, until Butterfingers blasted
her chi all over the place.
I already told you ding-dongs...
I don't know why my chi got loose
when we were shaking down Toothy Magee!
Bring it, Mama!
PO: Guys, guys, cut Jing
some slack! [BOTH FIGHTING]
Even the best of us can suffer
from a little chi leakage sometimes.
Nobody could have seen
that coming.
But it does bring us to today's
lesson, The Element of Surprise!
Great topic, Master Po.
- Think fast!
- NU HAI: Just yesterday I was... Ow!
[ALL LAUGH]
What the...
You almost hit my dimple!
Even the best kung fu fighters
can get hung up on the rules.
They forget that sometimes in the
real world, the rules don't apply.
So in other words, we have
to expect the unexpected.
Ow!
[GIGGLING]
That's enough.
[ALL GIGGLING]
[GRUNTS AND GASPS]
Ow!
[GIGGLING]
[GASPS]
You feeling okay, Jing?
I'm fine.
Can we just get home please?
Well, I'm pretty sure
I got enlightened yesterday.
You ever wonder
if you're just dead inside?
[THUD, METAL CLINKING]
[DOOR BANGS]
Master, thank you for
helping me to escape
- the Pandas' truth serum ploy.
- Nifty trick, eh?
Lucky for you my connection to
the weird angry panda is so strong.
Huifang! More light!
Coming, Master Jindiao!
[THUD]
[GRUNTS]
The mural is most impressive,
your excellency.
Now my followers may know the true
scope of my thousand-year quest.
And now that I have
re-gained the pandas' trust,
luring them to me will be easy.
But, Master, you are not yet
strong enough to handle their chi.
You are correct. I am not.
And if Po discovers the truth?
You cannot defeat him as you are.
- Correct again. I cannot.
- Then we must wait.
On the contrary, Jade Tusk.
We cannot move fast enough.
Ah.
[GASPS]
Master Po, maybe we should
stop here for the night?
PO: Here? No way!
That inn is filled with some of
the most violent, disgusting...
and horrible criminals
you could ever find!
On the other hand, Jing
seems to be in a lot of pain
and I have read good things
about their buffet.
[HYPERVENTILATING]
[BOTH GRUNTING, GROWLING]
[SPLASH, THUD]
PO: How about an order of
dumplings, some noodles,
a plate of sweet-buns,
and twelve rice balls.
And then whatever the kids want.
I'm sorry,
we're all out of those items.
Okay, then just bring us
whatever ya got.
Master Po, do you think
Jing's going to be okay?
Yeah, she'll be fine!
This is a great place to rest.
[THULP]
[GASPING]
[SIGHING HEAVILY]
Huh?
Ah, ah.
Get to the Plum Blossom Temple.
You will be safe there.
I must get to the Plum Blossom
Temple. I will be safe there.
There is no time to waste.
Let nothing stop you.
[SCREAMING]
[PANTING]
SUYIN: Charred crickets
in spicy maggot sauce.
- Ohh.
- Looks, ha, ha, scrumptious.
SUYIN: Bone appetit!
[GAGGING]
Not gonna lie, kids.
It's the worst thing I've ever
experienced. And I've died once.
Must you slurp so loudly?!
[BELCHES]
Sorry, boss. Our mother didn't
teach us how to slurp quiet.
How is it a genius like me, got
stuck with a couple of dopes like you?
You don't remember? It was
that day we met in a cave...
and you said,
"Hey, wanna be in my gang?"
Would you keep it down?
[SIGHS]
We are here to raise our stature
in the criminal community.
All the important thieves are here.
We just need to do something
that will get us noticed.
Whatever you need, boss.
- [BIFF] He-ey!
- Hey.
Not like that,
you wart-laden dum-dums!
It's gotta be someone high profile.
A big fish that we can take on.
[DISH BREAKING]
Or a big panda.
[SIGHS, GRUNTS]
ROOSTER: If it isn't
Dragon Master Po himself!
My cohorts and I are members
of a new and promising gang.
We don't have a name yet.
But I'm leaning towards
the Rooster Brothers!
Or the Sunshine Boys!
Would you dum-dums shut it!
We'd like to challenge you to a fight.
[ALL GASP]
All righty.
What's the matter, Po?
Chicken?
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
What's that supposed to mean?
- Uh...
- Shut it!
Oh, I'd really love to!
Except I'm not the Dragon Master.
Wait, what?
You're not Dragon Master Po?
He gets that all the time!
I'm just an average panda.
With very average panda friends,
as you can see.
You know, some more average than others.
Oh, well, don't I...
don't I feel like a fool?
Yet another humiliation.
Let's go!
- Phew, that was close.
- And weird.
JING: I'm ready to go.
- You feeling better, Jing?
- I'm a hundred percent.
We must get to Plum Blossom Temple.
Cop a squat, kid.
We haven't finished our...
[SLURPING]
Food. Ohh, that's not going to sit well.
We should go!
Now, Master Po.
"Master Po?"
ROOSTER: You lying pandas!
How dare you toy
with my trustful nature?
I didn't wanna do this,
but you leave me no choice!
[WHISTLING]
Uh?
[THUD, SLAP, BIFF]
- Oh, it burns almost as bad as it tastes!
- Hey! You can't do that to Master Po!
Yeah, you want to fight him...
you're going to have to get through
us above-average pandas first!
That works for me!
[MUSIC]
Come at me, wart face!
[COUGHS]
PO: My eyes are melting!
That is not regulation kung fu!
[THUD]
Come on, at least fight clean.
[GIGGLING]
Ow! What's happening?
Are you kicking their
butts? Need me to step in?
No, sir, we have
everything under contro...
They are delayed by idiot thugs.
My patience is wearing thin.
[PECK, PECK]
[STARTLED]
[THUD, THUD]
BINGWEN: My inn.
You've ruined it! [ARGH]
Seriously, dude,
if anything, we improved it.
Get out of here, you mangy pandas!
- Jing! No!
- Ahh. [SIGHS]
Looks like it's check-out time
for us anyway. [GIGGLES]
Why don't we take Jing's advice and
head for the Plum Blossom Temple?
Thank you for your hospitality.
We'll be sure to leave you
a wonderful review!
Wasn't that Dragon Master Po
and his students?
Bet they'd bring a nice ransom.
Let's get 'em!
Me and my gang picked a fight
with him first!
We want a piece of him too!
[CLATTER]
Ow!
We have some guests
headed our way.
Prepare rooms for their arrival.
Will they be with us long,
Your Excellency?
Not long at all.
[PANTING]
- How's she doing, Fan Tong?
- JING: I'm fine.
And quit talking about me
like I'm not here!
It's okay, Master Po.
Jing's anger is helping distract me
from how freaked out I am right now.
We're almost there. I can see the
lights of the temple just ahead.
Bao's right, I see it too!
Everything's going
to be okie-dokie.
- Or will it, Master Po?
- Huh?
Ahem!
Prepare to get your butts kicked
by me and my soon-to-be
relevant gang!
What are you gonna
throw at me this time?
A pickled radish?
Some sweet sticky buns?
I would've preferred
the sweet sticky buns.
[THUD, BAM, BIFF, SLAP]
Yeah! Is that all you got?
I guess not.
All right, bring it on, baby!
Flying powder puffs?
It's an adorable nightmare!
- Po! Children! Come quickly!
- Grand Abbot Jindiao!
Thank you, Grand Abbot.
We're so grateful for your help.
Super rad digs, by the way.
I saw those terrible bandits attacking
you. Is no place safe anymore?
- Are you unharmed?
- We're okay.
But Jing's not doing so hot.
I'm fine.
I'm just not feeling myself.
I know how you feel.
Really, I do.
Take our esteemed guest to the infirmary
where she can be treated for exhaustion.
And show the children
to the sleeping quarters.
Hey, Grand Abbot, you're a wise
and, no offense, old sage.
I was thinking we could grab a late
night snack and chat about stuff.
Like, do you know anything
about an Original Dragon Master?
There will be plenty of time
for that, Po. Now you must rest.
But I'd really love to bend
your tiny ear holes about...
Have a good night's sleep, Po.
It's the last you'll ever have.
PIKA MONK 1:
Grand Abbot Jindiao,
we were able to capture
some of the bandits.
Shall we deliver them
to the authorities?
That won't be necessary.
I'll bring them to my prayer room
and speak privately with them there.
You ain't getting nothing out of me!
I'll find a way to connect
with you. Believe me.
Is it just me, or is anyone
else troubled by his tone?
[GASPS]
Shh!
- It's just me!
- Nu Hai?
I hate when you interrupt
my beauty sleep like that.
Someone was creeping around
our beds. Wake Fan Tong.
No need! I can't sleep when
there's creepy whispering happening.
I saw which way the
shadow went. Let's go!
[GRUMBLING]
Come on!
Can't you wait until morning?
[TUMMY GROWLING]
All right, all right.
I'll find you a snack,
but after that we are going
back to sleep, capeesh?
[LONGER GRUMBLE]
[ALL GRUNT]
[ALL WHEEZING AND PANTING]
[STARTLED GASPING]
[GASPS]
It's that creepy green tooth lady!
This is weird. Come on!
Can anyone direct me
to the cafeteria?
I get why they'd hide it with
all those rodents running around.
I guess, technically they're
vermin, but this seems like overkill.
[SCREAMS, THUD]
[MOANS]
[BANG] Ow!
Okay, so not the cafeteria.
Ow! Ow, ow, ow!
Whoa!
"For 1000 years, I have suffered..."
I have suffered in obscurity,
hiding my true form.
Sustaining myself with the chi
of lesser beings.
[SCREAMS]
The Four Constellations
tried to stop me once...
by trapping my soul in a Spirit Urn.
They failed. And the
Spirit Urn was lost to time.
And when I have captured the
chi of all four constellations...
and claimed the Wellspring
as my own...
I shall regain my true dragon form.
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
"So sayeth I,
the One True Dragon Master."
"Jindiao?"
Kids!
We gotta wake up, we gotta go!
- JING: Master Po.
- [STARTLED] What?
Oh, Jing. You're gonna give
me a... Where are the others?
How should I know? I've been
out of commission, remember?
Ohh, this isn't good.
Stop right there!
Don't make us hurt you.
We're taking you to Master Po.
Yeah, you're going to have
a lot of explaining to do.
Like why is your tooth green?
I admit I've been entertained
by your antics.
I will almost miss them.
Guards!
ROOSTER: This is just a setback.
As soon as we get out of these
shackles, you better watch out!
I do so enjoy
your irrational optimism.
It helps to sweeten the flavor
of your measly mortal chi.
It's barely worth the energy
it takes to harvest it.
Oh, what the heck.
Let's do it!
- Run!
- Thanks. But if anyone asks,
can you just say we kicked your butt?
- Jeez, just go!
- I'm going!
As for you, Jindiao...
No!
I won't let you hurt her!
Hurt her?
I wouldn't dream of it.
She's my greatest ally!
Ahh, ohh.
Jing! What are you...
Incredible, isn't she?
Jing, I won't fight.
I don't want to hurt you!
Ahh, ah.
JINDIAO: Apologies for the lack
of seating.
My guests generally don't
spend much time here.
[SCREAMS]
Mind you, don't fall out the
moon-door. It's a bit of a drop.
Have you any last words?
I'd love to add them to my murals.
Jing. You can fight him.
PO: I know you're in there, Jing!
Master Po and Jing
are down here!
I got this.
Hey, Fangzilla! Think fast!
Get back here!
- Come on!
- Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.
Get off me!
Fight him, Jing.
You can do it.
No. Ahh.
I'm doing it! I'm beating
him, Master Po! And if...
If you believe that, then you're
an even bigger fool than I thought!
Neat trick, isn't it?
And I'm just getting started.
But enough about me.
Let's talk about you
giving me your chi.
- I will never let you take my chi.
- Oh, don't worry, Po.
I'm not yet strong
enough to take your chi.
But she is.
You should have
fought back harder.
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
Ahh, ah.
[All GASP]
Good-bye,
so-called Dragon Master.
Master Po!
[SCREAMING]