Kung Fu Panda: The Paws of Destiny (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 11 - Unholy Dragon Returns to the Mountains - full transcript

♪♪ TITLE MUSIC...

*KUNG FU PANDA- The Paws Of Destiny*
Season 01 Episode 11

Episode Title :
"Unholy Dragon Returns to the Mountains

ZHIZHU: Long ago in the time
before now,

there was
the Wellspring...

an endless fount of power,

the source from which
all chi flows.

It was protected by the
Pandas who lived above it.

Powered by
the Wellspring itself,

they were known
as The Panda Guardians.

But when it was threatened
by Dragon Master Jindiao,



the Original Four Constellations
hid the Wellspring...

sealing it off

in the last place

Jindiao would ever look.

But with the Wellspring
locked away,

the Pandas' connection to it
was broken,

and their Guardian Chi
ceased to flow.

Over generations,

the Pandas forgot
they were ever

its guardians or that the
Wellspring existed at all.

But Jindiao
hasn't forgotten.

And when he comes
for the Wellspring again,

and he will,
you must be ready.

Grandma, as the oldest
member of Panda Village



does any of this
ring a bell?

It was
a thousand years ago.

How freaking old
do you think I am?

I gotta take a nap.

Oh! Yes. Could you repeat
everything you just said?

I was distracted
by all of your eyes.

[SIGHS]

If it isn't "Former"
Dragon Master Po

and his former students.

[GRUNTING]

I thought
I smelled rat breath.

[SLURPS]

Yes, repulsive habit,
I agree.

Unfortunate result
of sharing a body

with the loathsome vulture spirit
that came with it.

- How did you find us?
- [CHUCKLES] Funny story.

First, we went
to the wrong house. [SIGHS]

You should've heard that family,
they were all,

"What?" and "Ahh"
and "Don't hurt..."

And Bunnidharma.
Good to see you.

And right on time,
for a change.

I-I'm not afraid of you,
Jindiao.

Sorry to interrupt,
but I've got a busy schedule

that includes stealing
the chi of these children,

and destroying their Master.

But before we begin,

I believe
you have something I want.

Give me the urn.

- [STUTTERS] You mean...
- No.

This?

- Ha!
- Got it!

[GRUNTING]

[SCREAMS, WHIMPERS]

[GRUNTING]

JINDIAO: Enough!

[KIDS WHIMPERING]

Ah, so delicate,
yet so powerful.

I can feel its power
coursing through me,

filling me
with an urge to reconsider

everything I stand for!

No!

[PO AND KIDS GRUNTING]

[BUNNIDHARMA GASPS]

Now there's nothing
to stop my rise to power.

GRANDMA: Panda Guardians?
Magical Wellsprings?

That story sounds as fake
as most of my teeth.

ZHIZHU: But it's true.

It was I who helped
the Pandas get in touch

with their Guardian Chi
in the first place.

Can I just say?
You look great for your age.

Oh, I'm obsessive
about moisturizing.

You pandas were
once great warriors.

And it's crucial that
you reconnect

- with your Guardian Chi.
- Yeah, right.

The fate of the world
lies in your paws.

[MR. PING GASPS]

[LAUGHING] ZHIZHU: I see someone
understands

the severity
of the situation.

I was just trying not to blow
out my cloaca at the idea

of Panda Warriors
with super powers!

Unless their super power
is eating their feelings.

I hate to agree with the
annoying bird, but I do.

Aside from Po,

who, let's face it,
is just a weird exception,

we pandas are
not built for fighting.

I'm a lover
not a fighter.

- I once killed a plate of dumplings.
- Wait just a minute.

Don't you remember
when we banded together

and used our chi
to defeat Kai?

That only worked because we
had Dragon Master Po with us.

We can't fight
without his help.

But we don't know
where Po is.

For all we know,
he may need our help.

I don't know
about you,

but I believe the sticky insect.

Technically I'm an arachnid,
but go on.

Sure, we're cute,
cuddly dumpling eaters.

But just because
that's all we know,

that doesn't mean
that's all we are.

FEMALE PANDA VILLAGER:
[GASPS] Oh.

[VILLAGERS GASPING]

[WHOOPS] You see?

GRANDMA: Hey,
Panda Guardian,

guard yourself from this.

Chi block!

[COUGHING]

It's a start.
We'll work on the timing.

[ALL CHEERING]

So let's get started!

I'm not gonna stand here
watching you idiots

play with your chi.
I'm going to go find Po.

[JING GRUNTING]

I can't get my dang chi to work!

He must have
warded the shackles.

Master, now that
the urn is destroyed,

- what shall we do with the prisoners?
- I need the children.

Once I absorb their chi,

I will finally be strong enough
to access the Wellspring.

As for the long-eared fool,

release him.
[BUNNIDHARMA GRUNTS]

Let him walk the earth
another 1,000 years

to obsess over
his failures.

I am sorry
I failed you.

[GRUNTING]

[SIGHS]

[CRYING SOFTLY]

[SIGHS]

That's okay!

- No, it's not.
- I know, but I'm never sure

- what to say in these situations.
- None of this is okay!

[GRUNTING]

[YELLS]

A little warning,

if you are naughty
again,

I will destroy every panda
within a thousand miles.

As for Po...

[GRUNTS]
listen up, children,

for a teachable moment

from a real Dragon Master.

Sometimes in life,
you encounter those

who claim to offer
strength and wisdom,

but in the end are
nothing more than impostors

who make promises
they cannot keep.

Now, one could punish
these fake heroes

with pain and humiliation.

But as fun as that sounds,
the best course of action

is what one would do
to a common fly.

- Let it go?
- No! Swat it down!

[JINDIAO YELLS]

Po!

[GASPS]

[ALL SCREAM]

[ANNOYED GRUNT]

That was
a waste of good chi.

Okay, okay.
W-We can fix this.

[GROANS]

No, Po.
It is my time to pass.

But do not be sad.
I am ready.

Come closer, Po.

Closer.

[GRUNTS]
Ow! Seriously?

- I'm pre-grieving.
- Stop crying, and get to work!

I have fulfilled my destiny.

But the universe
is not done with you.

Thank you, Bunnidharma.

Get Jindiao and the children
to the Temple of the Constellations.

You'll know what to do
when you get there.

[ECHOING]
When you get there...

Hmm.

[SIGHS]

Oh, my, that was an unexpected
treat, wasn't it? [LAUGHS]

- You're a monster.
- Thank you.

Now then,
whose chi to take first?

Eeny, meeny, miney... Po?

If I tell you where the Wellspring is,
will you spare their lives?

- What did you say?
- What is he doing?

A trade. Their lives for the
location of the Wellspring.

- I'm listening.
- Don't tell him anything!

It's locked in a peach statue

in the Temple
of the Four Constellations.

FAN TONG: Is this really happening?

But you'll never access it
if you destroy them because...

Master Po, please, don't.

...they're the only ones
who know how to unlock it.

Oh, this does change things.

To the Temple
of the Four Constellations.

- Why trust him?
- I don't.

But without the Spirit Urn,
they have no power over me.

And if Po is telling the truth,
it'll be worth the trip.

Meditation is
the foundation of chi.

A Panda Guardian must
start with an empty mind.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

I think those two
can skip this lesson.

Guardian Chi
can only function

when practiced
in an atmosphere of trust.

Now, Mei Mei...

[WHOOPING]

this is called a trust fall.

- When I say the word...
- I know how this works.

I close my eyes and fall,
and then you catch me!

Aah. Oh.

Strength is important,

but it is nothing
without flexibility.

Now let's see what you've got.
Flabbergast me!

[BOTH STRAINING]

[GRUNTS]

Bravo! That is a very
impressive splits display.

What display?
My pelvis gave out.

The ancient Masters cultivated
the "Skill of Light Body."

They could run across snowy
peaks without leaving a footprint.

[LI GRUNTS]

Look, Zhizhu,
I'm doing it.

It's like I'm flying.

Woo-hoo-hoo!

[LI GROANS]

[GRUNTS]

[WHISPERS] Master Po.
What's the play here?

Do we break out of these
shackles and fight these guys?

[LOUDLY] The plan is to follow
Dragon Master Jindiao

- and do as he says!
- Oh! Po!

[WHISPERS] That is so not the plan.

But why are we leading Jindiao
to the Wellspring?

Call me crazy,
but this seems crazy!

Oh, oh! Oh, oh!

My poor boy.
I have to do something.

Yeah. Once he accesses it,
he'll be unstoppable.

I really hope you haven't
lost your marbles, Master Po.

But just between us,
have you?

There's something
you don't know.

Back when you guys
were in the Spirit Realm

getting your chi game on,

Bunnidharma felt
Jindiao's presence.

So he prepared,

by swapping out the Spirit Urn
with a phony.

Because that bunny was
a shrewd dude.

So, if Jindiao didn't
break the real Spirit Urn,

- where is it?
- Shh-shh-shh!

Great question, Nu Hai.

Pretty radical, is it not?

So, when we're
at the Wellspring,

you guys'll do
your form thing,

and I'll whip out the urn,
and blammo! [GRUNTS]

[WHISPERING] Blammo,
that birdbrain will be toast.

[MR. PING SCREAMING]

ZHIZHU: Hmm.

[GASPS]
[MR. PING EXCLAIMING]

[GASPS]

Jindiao has Po and the children!

And they're heading to the
Temple of the Four Constellations!

Now?
But we're not ready.

How much more time
do you need?

[STUTTERS] How long did it
take our ancestors to learn?

Two, three days?

- Seven years.
- [STUTTERS] S-S-Seven years?

ZHIZHU: But they were
very fast learners.

I have been so wrong.
We're not warriors.

We really are just cute,
cuddly dumpling eaters.

[CRYING]

Oh, I can't believe my tiny ears.

You are one of two fathers
of the Dragon Master.

Admittedly, the less handsome
of the two, but still.

You know as well as I do
that I had nothing to do

with Po becoming
the Dragon Master.

[CRYING] Anything he's
achieved has been in spite of...

I can't listen to you
anymore.

I'm an old bird whose only
weapon is a soup ladle.

I have no fighting skills
whatsoever.

But you said yourself,

"Just because that's all
we know,

doesn't mean
that's all we are."

So, chi or no chi,
I know one thing for sure,

our son needs help.
And I intend to give it to him.

- [MUFFLED] You're right.
- What?!

[GRUNTS]

[SCREAMS]

I said, "You're right."
Whether we are ready or not

we are still
the Panda Guardians.

Sometimes it takes a goose
to remind a panda who he is.

You're welcome.

Now let's go to the temple
and save our Po.

There's no time to go through
the tunnels. It'll take too long.

Arachnid, spin me the longest
and strongest thread you have.

You've got it!

I know we barely know
each other,

but I'm going to need you
to hold my legs.

MR. PING: Oh!

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[SCREAMING]

[BOTH STRAINING]

Now, children,
be good little pandas,

and take your positions
on the pedestals before you.

[MR. PING PANTING]

A direct line to the temple.
"As the Goose flies."

- I'm impressed.
- That took a lot of energy.

I just spun
1,000 meters of web

out of my butt spinnerets,
and you're tired?

Pandas, to the Temple!

MEI MEI: Okay, but what
do we do when we get there?

I have no idea!

I'm making
this up as we go along.

[WHOOPS]

[GRUNTING]

I... have waited a 1,000 years
for this moment.

There is so much
I want to say,

but I think I'll wait to say it
in my dragon voice.

Now, I command you,
Constellations,

open the Wellspring!

[MUSIC]

Yes... Yes!

LI: There must be a way in.

[YELLS] Po! Are you there?
It's your dads!

Tell Jindiao to let us in!
Cart's here too!

I'm sure the world's most evil
being will respond to that.

She's right.
I'll handle this.

Jindiao! I insist you
open the door this instant!

This is one of Po's fathers!

Well, I'm guessing
it'll take him a minute.

Seems like a large space.

[CRACKING]
[MUSIC]

[GASPS]

[PANDAS GASPING]

Oh, boy!
Now this feels like something!

Maybe our chi can open the cave.

[MUSIC]

- Why isn't it working?
- GRANDMA: Beats me.

Maybe we should try
the entrance over there.

Oh, Master. Your godly
power is imminent.

It's more breathtaking
than I remember.

And now, I shall take
what is rightfully mine!

[MUSIC]

[WHITE TIGER GROWLS]

I don't think so,
you dirty bird!

[JINDIAO GRUNTING]

[GROANS]

[GRUNTING]

- No!
- Master Po, the urn.

What urn?
There is no urn!

Yeah, oh, you're right!
Oh, wait!

[VOCALIZING]

But I destroyed it!
I saw it with my own eyes!

[YELLS]
Ow! Ow!

[GASPS]

Chi block!

Whoa!

[GRUNTS]

- Oh, my. Did you see that?
- Let me try!

If I knew being a Guardian was so fun,

I'd have remembered
it years ago.

[GRUNTING]

[BOTH SCREAM]

[GROWLS]

[GRUNTS]
[GROANS]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[PO YELLS]

[GROANS]

[GRUNTS]

[GROANING]

I command you, release me!

[BOTH STRAINING]

[GRUNTING]

Oh! [YELPS]
This thing's got serious torque.

- Jade Tusk?
- Not now, Huifang.

- But...
- I said, not now!

Okay, I guess I'll tell you later
about the army

- of pandas coming in.
- What? [GRUNTS]

[JINDIAO GROANING]

This is for Bunnidharma.

This is for stealing
Master Po's hero chi.

This is for not being very nice.

And this is for me!

[SCREAMING]

I think we did it.
I think he's gone!

I can't believe it's over.

Phew! Saving the world
sure is exhausting.

I'd fist-pound you right now,
if only I could raise my fist.

Ha!
We got you, Jindiao!

[LAUGHS]

VOICE IN URN: Who's Jindiao?
And where am I?

Uh, who's that?

[JINDIAO LAUGHING]

It can't be.

JINDIAO: Did you really think your
idiotic little trick would work?

I thought it had
a pretty good chance.

JINDIAO: You almost
caught me off-guard.

Who knew that
my repulsive roommate

would come in so handy?

It was so easy
to send that annoying vulture

into the urn in my place,
freeing my own spirit

to return to its rightful
and glorious form!

[GASPS]

[JINDIAO LAUGHING MANIACALLY]
[MUSIC]

- Come on, let's get out of here!
- I can't move, Master Po!

Don't let your fear stop you.

It's not my fear!
I can't move!

Me neither!

Master Po! Help...

[WHIMPERING]

[GASPS]

[JINDIAO LAUGHING MANIACALLY]

The Panda Guardians are here!

You're too late!

[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]