Kung Fu Panda: The Paws of Destiny (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 10 - Return of the Four Constellations - full transcript

[TITLE MUSIC]

1x10 - Return of the Four Constellations

[WIND WHISTLING]

- PO: Mmm-hmm.
- How could he have escaped?

- PO: I don't know.
- JING: Maybe if it hadn't taken us

so long to get up here, Fan Tong.

I'm sorry. I kept having to
stop and go to the bathroom.

Should probably just start
wearing a diaper. [CHUCKLES]

BUNNIDHARMA: Wow, we've
really dodged an arrow here.

- I mean, really!
- What are you talking about?

Yeah, BD, we're gonna
need you to elaborate.



- Give us the deats.
- I don't know how to use the Spirit Urn.

I just know how to bring it.

That could have been very bad!

ALL: What?

Might have been good to know
beforehand!

[SIGHS]

All right, any idea
who does know how to use it?

The Four Constellations.

News flash, genius, they've
been dead for a thousand years!

[GRUNTS]
I know, right?

Now, you have to find them in the
Spirit Realm, and ask... for yourself.

[MUSIC]

[JADE TUSK GRUNTS]

[MOANS]



Get that foul stench
away from me!

[GRUNTS]
Master, how are you feeling?

I'd be feeling
a lot better, Jade Tusk,

if I had the chi
of the Four Constellations.

I am sorry.
There was no way of keeping

track of the children
in the avalanche.

I... I was nearly killed myself.

No, you were incompetent.
Incompetent!

Unfortunately, we have a more
pressing matter to deal with.

Last night I felt
a concerning chi presence

I haven't come across
in nearly a thousand years.

[GRUNTING]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[MUSIC]

[JINDIAO GASPS]

[STUTTERS] It can't be.

[SCREAMS]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

- But if the rabbit is alive somehow, he could...
- Find him!

[KETTLE WHISTLING]

[SNIFFING]

Ah.

[BUNNIDHARMA HUMMING]

[COUGHING]

So, how long does this whole,

you know, ritual to get to
the Spirit Realm take exactly?

We're kind of
on a tight schedge.

That's short for schedule 'cause
schedule took too long to say?

- So I...
- We haven't even started.

I've been wanting to get rid
of this tea for ages,

and the powder is because you
all smell like stinky tofu.

No offense.
[GRUNTS]

To return to the heavens,
you will close your eyes.

And when you close your eyes,

you will raise your arms,
breathing calmly,

- to release your mind.
- Whoa.

Let us begin.

[MUSIC]

[GRUNTING]

[SQUEAKS]

[BUNNIDHARMA HUMMING]

[GRUNTS]
[SLURPS]

[GRUNTS IN DISGUST]

LAOSHU: Appointment only.

JADE TUSK: I come
on behalf of my master,

who also happens to be
your most valuable client.

For you, I make exception.

I need to know the
whereabouts of an ancient sage.

First name, Bunni.
Last name, Dharma.

- Doesn't ring a gong.
- Interesting,

because, to sustain himself
all these years,

he would've needed herbs and elixirs

that could only have
come from one place.

[GASPS]
Here!

Boys!

- Boys!
- I don't believe they're coming...

ever.

[PIKA MONK GRUNTING]

[LABORED BREATHING]

Bring me another furry thing.

XIN: Good evening,
Grand Abbot Jindiao.

Did you get
a new interior designer?

- This part of the temple, it isn't you.
- Oh, but it is me.

I guess you never
really know someone.

But what you will know
is your true purpose.

[GRUNTING]

- JADE TUSK: Master.
- Don't you knock?

I have the information you requested.

Good. Soon I will be
able to destroy

that demented rabbit's
precious urn once and for all.

XIN: [CHUCKLES]
Grand Abbott Jindiao,

are we almost done here?

[CHUCKLES] Almost.

[XIN GRUNTING]

[XIN GIGGLING HYSTERICALLY]

[ALL SCREAMING]

[GRUNTING]

[JING SCREAMING]

[WHIMPERING]

[ALL SCREAMING]

- Huh?
- Okay, everybody just...

[ALL GASP]

FAN TONG: Ow!

[GRUNTING]

[COUGHING]

[SPUTTERING]
[GASPS]

[BAO COUGHING]

[GASPS]

[MUSIC]

Uh, guys.
Where is Master Po?

Uh...

Where am I?
Kids?

[CHOMPING AND CHEWING]

That sounds like Fan Tong.
Fan Tong?

[CHOMPING AND CHEWING]

[GASPS]
[PLATES SHATTER]

Not Fan Tong.

BLUE DRAGON:
We have been watching you.

And in a word,
we're not impressed.

- That's three words.
- Shut up, Bao!

It is like
a beautiful rickshaw wreck,

we just cannot look away.
[ALL LAUGHING]

I blame the Universe for
giving our magnificent powers

that, might I add, hinge
on the fate of the world,

to roly-poly children.

Technically, we're adolescents.

BLACK TORTOISE:
That explains so much.

All those raging hormones.
[SLURPS]

I certainly hope you are
not picking your pimples,

although something
tells me that you are.

You gentlemen are
being very ill-mannered.

Excuse us for a moment.

They're probably just hazing us

like the Furious Five
did to Master Po.

It's their weird way of
welcoming us or something.

So we gotta do it back,
so we don't look weak.

Wait, Bao, that's not...

You guys are old and...
and old!

[SIGHS IN EXASPERATION]

This is fun.
I wanna play. Yeah!

You guys are quite elderly!

And you eat dinner at
an early hour! [LAUGHING]

[CHUCKLES] Anyhoo,
we know we're not perfect

at this whole world-saving thing,
but we're doing the best that we can.

And we need your help.

We know.

We called you here through
our old friend Bunnidharma.

Friend is a strong word,
all things considered.

You must take the obstacles
you face more seriously.

You are our only hope

- at defeating the great evil that is...
- Jindiao.

Really? You're gonna just
step on my lines that way?

Then will you teach us how
to use the Spirit Urn? Please?

WHITE TIGER: First, you must
prove to us

- that you can control our power.
- And that you are ready.

[GRUNTS]

So we challenge you...

to a duel!

[CHOMPING]

[SNIFFING]

I can hear you breathing
through your face hole!

Show yourself!

[WOOD CREAKING]

H-hey, hey, guy.

Well, look at this.
Company!

Come in, Tubby Bear.

Don't be shy.
Feast with me.

[CHUCKLES] Silly question.
Are you a demon?

And if yes, am I in...
[LAUGHING]

The Inn of the
Never Ending Dumpling.

[CHOMPING]

Wait, did you just say

"dumpling" and "never-ending"
in the same sentence?!

[GASPS]

- Awesome!
- Not awesome!

I want to go home.

Instead, I am stuck here
eating dumplings

in a desperate attempt
to get my picture on the wall

to boost my self-esteem.

- You mean we can't leave here?
- Do you not listen?

[GRUNTS]

I have made a good life
for myself in the Underworld.

I have a comfortable sulfur pit

on a lava flow with my wife
and demon spawn.

- This is Jindiao's fault.
- Wait. You know Jindiao?

[MUSIC]

There. Up ahead.

[MUMBLING]

Once I have the power
of the Four Constellations,

we will seal the fate
of these pathetic pandas

once and for all.

[MUMBLING]

[MUMBLING]

[ROARING]

Wha... What?

Jade Tusk!

What happens again
if we don't win?

We'll be stuck here forever,
waiting on the Constellations,

hand and foot, ball and chain,

- yadda, yadda, yadda.
- Yeah, so we're gonna have to win

because I am not about that life.

We've got nothing to lose,
besides our freedom.

And our lives.

No choice but to face them
on the field of...

[WHITE TIGER AND BLUE DRAGON GRUNTING]

Cuju?

[BOTH GRUNTING]

So the epic Kung Fu duel
is a dumb beach game?!

We're not fighting?
Lame!

- I'm okay with that.
- Let's kick these old-timers' butts!

[GROWLING]
[MUSIC]

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTING]

[ROARS]

[GROWLING]

[GRUNTING]

FAN TONG: [GRUNTS]
Ow.

Huh?

[ROARING]

[GASPS]
Oh, boy.

How do you know Jindiao?

Funny story, actually.
He's kind of my nemesis.

He took my chi and kicked me
through a hole in the floor.

And now he's creepin'
on my students.

[SNIFFING] He's just
an overall a bad guy.

With quite a few villain qualities.

Probably the "twists his
mustache in private" type.

Yes! Such a villain.

If I ever get out of here,
I will get sweet, sweet revenge.

Then I will return to my
comfortable life of torturing souls

whose life choices
were dubious at best.

Totally. So, are we gonna eat
some dumplings or what?

'Cause, I mean, as long as
we're here may as well...

[GRUNTING]

Time out!

[PANDAS PANTING]

I think we should use our Hero Chi.

- Now we're talkin'.
- Is that legal?

They didn't say it wasn't,
so by my standards,

yep, totally legal.

As long as the ball doesn't
touch our paws we should be fine.

Guys, remember what got us here.
We were chosen.

Their time is over.
This is our time.

Now let's go out there and take it!

ALL: Yeah!

[GROWLS]

[GRUNTING]

[YELLS]

[PANDAS WHOOPING]
Huh?

Maybe I like sports now.

BLUE DRAGON: Your serve!
[GRUNTS]

[GROWLS, KISSES]

[GRUNTING]
[MUSIC]

[YELLS]

It is about time you
made things interesting.

[GRUNTING]

[CHEERING]

[GRUNTING]

Hmm?

[GRUNTING]

[ALL PANTING]
They're getting tired.

We're getting tired!

- Everybody know the play?
- I got this.

[MUSIC]

[GRUNTS]

[YELLS]

[GRUNTS]

[YELLS IN SLOW-MO]
[GRUNTS]

[CHEERING]

Bao's paw touched the ball.

- Bao, is that true?
- What? No!

- Yeah, it is. Sorry, guys.
- Game over.

Okay, so we lost.

Maybe you guys are more
equipped for the job,

but, unfortunately,
we're all you've got.

And while you've made it clear
you don't have much faith in us,

any chance is better than none.

Yeah, just let us
go back and do something.

- Anything.
- Something!

Oh, Bao already said that.

We will give you one more chance.

After all, you are
trying to save the world.

Perhaps, an intellectual test.

The quill is often
mightier than the sword.

And that is coming
from a sword guy.

We accept.

To get to the end,
you must return to the beginning.

What was lost,
must now be found,

for inside you will not find a pit,
but instead a Wellspring.

Answer that riddle,

and we will tell you
how to defeat... him.

This must have something
to do with the Wellspring

since it is literally
mentioned in the riddle.

Great detective work, sis.

What have we lost?
Besides my mind.

Not find a pit?
What has a pit?

Hey, we kind of fell into a pit in
the temple going after the Peach.

[ALL GRUNTING]

[ALL SCREAMING]

- A peach has a pit.
- The Wellspring is in the...

Peach!

Sorry, I got excited.

Hmm.

[WHIMPERING]

Well done.

[CHEERING]

We had to hide the Wellspring,

when Bunnidharma did not
show up with the Spirit Urn.

To protect it from Jindiao.

And the Peach
seemed like a good place

since we knew the Pandas
would be keeping an eye on it.

I feel like this might go
quicker if we didn't trade off...

WHITE TIGER: Sentences.
Sorry.

Only the energy of the Wellspring

is powerful enough to trap
a being as strong as Jindiao.

So how do we access the Wellspring?

With the same series of Kung Fu
forms we used to hide it.

So, uh, if you guys could
teach us those forms,

- that would also be great.
- We already have.

You saw the moves when we
used them during the game.

[MUSIC]

[SHRIEKS]

[GROWLS]

Dang!
You guys are good.

With these forms, you will
be able to open the Wellspring

and access its power.

You can then channel
the energy through yourselves,

and collectively blast it at Jindiao.

And then what?

And then, his soul will
be ejected from his body,

and sucked into the Spirit Urn forever.

Thank you.

No, thank you.

[CLEARS THROAT] Now,
go and finish what we could not.

[MUSIC]

[BURPS]

[CHUCKLES]
I like you, Yaoguai.

And I like you, Tubby Bear.

You remind me
of my former best friend Ragnar,

who groped in the darkness with
me when we were sightless grubs

in the belly of our mother
Shezu the Skinless.

[CHOMPING]

Yeah, that's gonna give
me nightmares. [GRUNTS]

Make me a promise,

we will escape together,
no matter what.

You got it, buddy.
Where I go, you...

Huh?
Tubby? Tubby?

[SQUEALS]

Tubby bear!

PANDAS: Master Po, wake up!
Master Po, wake up!

[GRUNTS]

We know how to
activate the Wellspring.

[GRUNTS, SIGHS] That was not
the journey I was expecting.

Where did you go, Master Po?

- To a restaurant.
- Really? What happened?

Ever go on a really bad blind
date, but the food was good?

Oh, yeah.
[CHUCKLING]

Let's go activate that Wellspring.

[WHISPERING]

[GASPS]

[ALL GASPING]

Well, well, well.

Uh, going somewhere?

It's always the last cave you check.