King of the Hill (1997–2010): Season 5, Episode 17 - It's Not Easy Being Green - full transcript
Hank joins Bobby's science class in opposition to a plan to drain the quarry and put a landfill there, because it will reveal a practical joke which he, Dale, and Bill played on Boomhauer in high school.
You know what your classic car
needs to stand out at...
the Classic Car Show?
Me spread-eagled on your hood.
Hauling ass, huh?
Man, get your dang old thumbprints,
nicotine stain, too, man.
This car looks like
it was made before 1980.
Good eye, Bobby.
When did you become such a car nut?
Wednesday.
When I found out that
cars built before 1980...
are responsible for
most of the pollution in the air.
Sorry. I'm gonna have to
write you a ticket, Mr. Boomhauer.
"You have been ticketed by
the environmental court.
"Tom Landry Middle School."
- What the...
- I know.
You should appeal that
all the way to the high school.
Joseph issued me one of those yesterday
for pouring used motor oil...
down the kitchen sink. Fascist.
A D-cell in the garbage. Oh, yes!
Mom, I'm gonna have to
write you up for not taking this...
to an approved battery-recycling center.
Two more tickets and I get an A in history.
Now, what the heck does
annoying your mom...
and Boomhauer have to do with history?
Mr. McKay says that history is past.
But saving the Earth
is our present to the future.
Bobby, I will have you know
that I consider myself to be...
one of the great environmentalists
of my time.
I have a plastic grocery bag
filled with plastic grocery bags...
that I will bring back
to the grocery store one day.
Sorry.
Hank, those hobos are
going through our garbage again.
Accidentally throw away
one regulator valve...
and now we're the talk
of the freight yards.
BOBBY: Here's a phone book.
HANK: What the...
- Bobby, shouldn't you be in school?
- I am in school.
History with Mr. McKay.
The pizza box is recyclable.
The crust is compostable.
And the cheese...
Don't get me started on the cheese.
So you're the Mr. McKay
Bobby keeps talking about.
I guess I pictured a woman.
Bobby's told me a lot about you.
And how you flush your urine
whether or not you've also left feces.
What? You discussed this in school?
Look, if you care so much
about the environment...
why don't you teach these kids about...
clean-burning, energy-efficient propane?
Clean-burning propane. That's funny.
You see, propane grills just perpetuate
the whole culture of backyard barbecues...
plastic forks, paper plates, meat.
I've sold three grills today
using those exact same words...
but with a more positive attitude.
Don't worry. I know where he lives.
And there's a summons to appear in
the Middle School's environmental court.
You can't just put something in
a mailbox without a stamp.
That's a federal offense.
Hank, it is no big deal.
I was in and out of court in five minutes.
What? You actually went?
I work at that school.
I cannot afford to have
any blemishes on my record.
Come on. Do it for Bobby.
Hank, this could be his first A
since he was in the same math class...
as that Bobby Hall and brought home
the wrong report card.
So help me God.
This isn't the Bible.
It's a Harry Potter book.
We're not allowed to bring the Bible
to school.
If it pleases the court,
I will show that my client or Dad...
is not a bad man, just an ignorant man.
Here we go.
Ignorance, no matter how profound
and pathetic, is not an excuse.
Then I would like to change
my client's plea to guilty...
by reason of insanity.
What? I'm not insane.
Your witness.
I'm not a lawyer. I'm just a kid.
But you, sir, disgust me.
All right, that's it. I do not plead guilty.
We have a dumpster
at Strickland Propane.
And we fill it with garbage.
That's what it's there for.
This whole thing is ridiculous.
I'll tell you what's ridiculous.
The city council is considering putting
a new landfill in unincorporated Arlen.
What's wrong with a new landfill?
You gotta put the garbage somewhere.
If we put garbage somewhere,
soon we'll be putting it everywhere.
Anybody want to sleep on a bed of
yucky garbage and drink toxic waste?
No!
Come on.
McMaynerbury used the money they got
burying Houston's garbage...
to buy those new fire engines.
Who likes fire engines?
But, Dad, if they put this one in,
it'll jeopardize an endangered species:
Algestaxefolia.
- Itchy algae.
- Itchy algae?
It sounds like good riddance to me.
Just because itchy algae isn't cuddly...
or "good for anything," it doesn't mean
we should destroy its habitat...
by draining the quarry.
The quarry?
That's where they're putting the landfill.
I throw my insane client
on the mercy of the court.
And after the weather, they did a story
about a squirrel that water-skis.
And I went to bed happy.
I just remembered that I left my
workbench in your basement, Dale.
Three of us ought to be able to carry it.
- Yo, man.
- No.
Bill, Dale and I can handle it.
Thanks, anyway.
Let's go, Bill and Dale.
Okay.
I know we agreed never
to speak of this again.
But they're gonna drain the quarry.
[Both gasp]
But if they drain the quarry, Boomhauer
will find out what happened to...
Sally!
[Dale sobs]
No.
We agreed never to speak
of that day again.
I remember.
Believe me, I remember.
Naw, I wish Boomhauer'd let us
ride in his car.
How can we be wild and crazy guys...
if we're stuck standing around
all the time?
- Hey, baby.
- Hello.
[Rock song playing on car stereo]
Wait a second. Kid Dy-no-mite has got it.
Why don't we take Boomhauer's car
for a joyride?
Joyride? That sounds fun.
And you know what would be
even more fun?
If after we drive it, we fill it with gas...
so the next time Boomhauer uses it
he's like, "How'd that happen?"
Let's go to 31 Flavors
and ask for 31 samples.
It's legal
and there's nothing they can do about it.
DALE: Yeah!
Zingo!
I'll drive.
You can't handle a stick.
No!
HANK: You're stripping the gears, Dale!
Dale, stop!
The left brake's not working.
That's the clutch. Hit the other pedal.
[Dale screams]
[Melancholic love song]
That was close, but I think I'm okay.
Boomhauer thinks some Yankees
came down and stole the car.
And he's gonna go to his grave
thinking that.
Boomhauer's grave?
Are you suggesting we kill Boomhauer?
Well, you're the boss.
We're not killing Boomhauer.
Yeah, but when they drain that quarry,
they'll find his car...
with our lettermen jackets
right inside and he'll want to kill us.
He won't find out.
Let's just say Councilman Fred Eber
owes me one.
I voted for him.
I'm leaning back towards killing him.
HANK: So you can see, Councilman Eber,
this is a far more suitable location...
for a landfill than the quarry.
EBER: No, they're using that land to build
one of those new multiplexes.
Looks like I'm gonna be
out of a job soon, Hank.
What about that
gray patch of land over there?
It looks pretty useless. It would be perfect.
That's the quarry.
So, if you stop using newspapers,
I can give you...
a coupon for $20 off
your first purchase of a windmill.
I'm sorry I can't help you, Bobby.
I don't use newspapers.
HANK: You can cancel my subscription.
I want to be part of the solution.
I thought you said tree-huggers
like me and Mr. McKay...
were a bunch of
noodle-brained communists.
No.
No, no, no.
No.
This is great!
I'm gonna get extra credit
for bringing you all on board.
We're gonna save itchy algae.
Yeah. Itchy algae.
Earth first! Make Mars our bitch.
I thought we were just having
a few of your classmates over.
Not a bunch of... Who are these people?
They're from Mr. McKay's yoga group.
Principal Moss says our class
can't get grades for protesting.
So all the other kids dropped out.
But don't worry, Dad. I still care.
I even wrote a slogan: "Drain the quarry..."
Dang it, Bobby.
That's exactly what we don't want.
I'm not done.
Drain the quarry, you'll be sorry.
Now, that is good.
This is the first time in my life I've gotten
you to change your mind about something.
Which one of my arguments
did you love the most?
You know, "Spaceship Earth,"
"We're all in this together"...
you know, "Random acts of whatnot."
Who wants some of Peggy Hill's
rainforest cookies?
They are made with
sustainably-harvested Brazil nuts.
All profits go to save the rainforest.
Are those paper plates?
Yes.
Man, dang. It's starting to look like
Woodstock over here.
Man, you talking about that old dang
Sha Na Na going in there, man.
Boomhauer, we're just
saving an endangered species.
Go away!
- You know, itchy algae, that might...
- You heard him. Beat it.
Man, fine.
I'll go do my grocery shopping
my dang self, man.
CROWD: Drain the quarry, you'll be sorry!
Drain the quarry, you'll be sorry!
Hank Hill, Strickland Propane.
I am no stranger to city council meetings...
having supported your
anti-skateboarding initiative...
as well as the neon-sign wattage limits.
But today I present these petitions...
signed by 200 citizens
against the proposed landfill.
Hank, I understand how you
and your fringe minority feel.
But that quarry is a festering stink-hole
that the hobos use as a giant toilet.
We're better off without it.
Let's turn trash into cash.
Their slogan's better than our slogan.
Let's put it to a vote. All in favor?
Then it's settled.
Draining of the quarry will begin
tomorrow at 9 a.m.
[All murmur in disappointment]
Dad, what are we gonna do?
Don't worry, Son. I'll think of something.
I've got it. We create three new people:
Hank Jones, Dale Smith and Bill Manugian.
When they find our lettermen jackets
in the car, those guys take the heat.
Now, we're gonna need three dead guys.
The Army might have some dead guys.
Why couldn't it have been
me and Boomhauer...
that did something horrible to you guys?
Because Boomhauer's a saint.
Okay. I've got a plan that
might actually work.
- Dale, we're gonna need your scuba gear.
- Why?
Because they can't find Boomhauer's car
if it's not there.
But it is there.
Maybe we should use Dale's scuba gear
to pull the car out.
Now, that's a plan, Hank.
Piece of cake.
I found her right between my old
lawnmower, and what I'm fairly certain...
is a genuine Egyptian sarcophagus.
- Okay, Bill. Crank her up.
- Yep.
Damn it, Dale.
Strange.
Another frogman must have
switched the hook after I surfaced.
But why?
HANK: My God.
Look at Boomhauer's car.
At least it won't be too hard
to chop it up and bury it.
Look. Our old lettermen's jackets.
You can still see where Dale's says
"Towel Manager."
- Dad.
- This is nice. Very nice.
Now, you see what Hank is doing, Darren?
He's blocking the draining equipment
with a pile of debris.
He's fighting garbage with garbage.
Good work, Hank.
That's my dad!
Yeah. Thanks.
Okay, everybody. Let's go get
our chains and our bag lunches...
and meet back at Hank's barricade.
I should see if my dad wants
the peanut-butter-and-lentil sandwich...
or the soy eggs and soy-sage.
What are we gonna do, Hank?
If there's a protest, there will be cops.
And if there are cops,
they'll try to pin it on me.
And since I did it, they will succeed.
Oh, my God!
- You know he'll take us down with him.
- That does sound like me, Hank.
Pull it together, guys.
I haven't spent all this time acting like
an environmental nut-job...
just so Boomhauer could find out
we dumped his car here.
Mr. McKay, may I borrow
your cell phone, please?
Yeah.
This is unincorporated Arlen.
There might be roaming charges.
I'll pay them.
- Yo.
- Mr. Boomhauer, it's Bobby Hill.
I found your car, Sally.
Yeah, I think you want to get down
to the quarry as fast as you can.
Man, I gotta run, man.
Need to move the ice cream truck, man.
ALL: [Singing] Kum Ba yah, my Lord
Kum Ba yah!
I can't hear you, Mr. Hill.
You know, with all that junk sitting here...
the quarry already looks like a landfill.
Maybe I should straighten up a bit.
Bill, Dale, help me
push that car into the bushes.
Too late.
Okay, everybody...
link arms and form
a human chain of defiance.
Hi.
We have to get in here to drain the quarry.
Over our bloody and beaten bodies.
I see. Well, this is a protest.
Okay. I hadn't heard anything about it.
You know, new girl at the office.
Still breaking her in.
Okay, so I guess I'll go call the cops.
BILL: Oh, no.
Boomhauer, what are you doing here?
I can't believe it's her, man. Oh, God.
I thought I wouldn't see you
till heaven, man.
Oh, man. Closure, man.
Boomhauer, there's
something you need to know.
I'm sorry. It was a prank
that just got out of hand.
Hank? Dang, man.
Oh, my God. It was Hank?
Boomhauer,
did you find any other jackets...
which might prove
if Hank had any accomplices?
No accomplices.
Hank committed this tragedy all alone.
How could you, Hank?
Man, that dang old three-faced Hank.
Thanks for the heads up, Bobby.
You called Boomhauer on me? But why?
You acted like an environmental
nut-job for a week?
But why?
Bobby, you got to believe me.
I didn't mean for you to hear that.
It's the cops. Wonderful!
I've always wanted to get arrested
for my principles.
Okay, everybody, dead weight!
Please lie on your stomach
and spread your arms and legs.
Me, too?
But I'm not even getting
extra credit anymore.
You heard me.
This is crazy. You can't arrest him.
He's just a misguided seventh-grader
trying to save some pond scum.
I'm the one who did something wrong.
I've always been against stealing cars
and lying to my son.
Now I've done both.
If anyone should be arrested, it's me.
What do you say we go home, Bobby?
Stop resisting. On your stomach.
- All right, let's take him out of here.
- Let's go, pal.
That's it, Dad. Dead weight!
Boomhauer!
Yo, man.
That's just great. Hank was our lift.
If you're taking Bobby,
can you take us, too?
Man, I'll tell you what.
You dang well drove it here.
What are you talking about?
You drive it back, man.
Dang old traitor, man.
What gave us away?
Come on.
You're flooding it.
- Mr. Boomhauer, can I ask your advice?
- Yo.
How long should we
stay angry at my dad?
Well, you know, Bobby,
don't take for me, man.
You know, life's too short, man.
You don't want to hold no grudge, man.
Talking about let old bygones
be bygones, man.
Maybe two weeks, probably three.
You know, Mr. Boomhauer...
I can see why my dad
is always quoting you.
Man, your daddy's quoting me?
Goddang, man.
BOOMHAUER: Maybe just make it
one week.
HANK: No.
needs to stand out at...
the Classic Car Show?
Me spread-eagled on your hood.
Hauling ass, huh?
Man, get your dang old thumbprints,
nicotine stain, too, man.
This car looks like
it was made before 1980.
Good eye, Bobby.
When did you become such a car nut?
Wednesday.
When I found out that
cars built before 1980...
are responsible for
most of the pollution in the air.
Sorry. I'm gonna have to
write you a ticket, Mr. Boomhauer.
"You have been ticketed by
the environmental court.
"Tom Landry Middle School."
- What the...
- I know.
You should appeal that
all the way to the high school.
Joseph issued me one of those yesterday
for pouring used motor oil...
down the kitchen sink. Fascist.
A D-cell in the garbage. Oh, yes!
Mom, I'm gonna have to
write you up for not taking this...
to an approved battery-recycling center.
Two more tickets and I get an A in history.
Now, what the heck does
annoying your mom...
and Boomhauer have to do with history?
Mr. McKay says that history is past.
But saving the Earth
is our present to the future.
Bobby, I will have you know
that I consider myself to be...
one of the great environmentalists
of my time.
I have a plastic grocery bag
filled with plastic grocery bags...
that I will bring back
to the grocery store one day.
Sorry.
Hank, those hobos are
going through our garbage again.
Accidentally throw away
one regulator valve...
and now we're the talk
of the freight yards.
BOBBY: Here's a phone book.
HANK: What the...
- Bobby, shouldn't you be in school?
- I am in school.
History with Mr. McKay.
The pizza box is recyclable.
The crust is compostable.
And the cheese...
Don't get me started on the cheese.
So you're the Mr. McKay
Bobby keeps talking about.
I guess I pictured a woman.
Bobby's told me a lot about you.
And how you flush your urine
whether or not you've also left feces.
What? You discussed this in school?
Look, if you care so much
about the environment...
why don't you teach these kids about...
clean-burning, energy-efficient propane?
Clean-burning propane. That's funny.
You see, propane grills just perpetuate
the whole culture of backyard barbecues...
plastic forks, paper plates, meat.
I've sold three grills today
using those exact same words...
but with a more positive attitude.
Don't worry. I know where he lives.
And there's a summons to appear in
the Middle School's environmental court.
You can't just put something in
a mailbox without a stamp.
That's a federal offense.
Hank, it is no big deal.
I was in and out of court in five minutes.
What? You actually went?
I work at that school.
I cannot afford to have
any blemishes on my record.
Come on. Do it for Bobby.
Hank, this could be his first A
since he was in the same math class...
as that Bobby Hall and brought home
the wrong report card.
So help me God.
This isn't the Bible.
It's a Harry Potter book.
We're not allowed to bring the Bible
to school.
If it pleases the court,
I will show that my client or Dad...
is not a bad man, just an ignorant man.
Here we go.
Ignorance, no matter how profound
and pathetic, is not an excuse.
Then I would like to change
my client's plea to guilty...
by reason of insanity.
What? I'm not insane.
Your witness.
I'm not a lawyer. I'm just a kid.
But you, sir, disgust me.
All right, that's it. I do not plead guilty.
We have a dumpster
at Strickland Propane.
And we fill it with garbage.
That's what it's there for.
This whole thing is ridiculous.
I'll tell you what's ridiculous.
The city council is considering putting
a new landfill in unincorporated Arlen.
What's wrong with a new landfill?
You gotta put the garbage somewhere.
If we put garbage somewhere,
soon we'll be putting it everywhere.
Anybody want to sleep on a bed of
yucky garbage and drink toxic waste?
No!
Come on.
McMaynerbury used the money they got
burying Houston's garbage...
to buy those new fire engines.
Who likes fire engines?
But, Dad, if they put this one in,
it'll jeopardize an endangered species:
Algestaxefolia.
- Itchy algae.
- Itchy algae?
It sounds like good riddance to me.
Just because itchy algae isn't cuddly...
or "good for anything," it doesn't mean
we should destroy its habitat...
by draining the quarry.
The quarry?
That's where they're putting the landfill.
I throw my insane client
on the mercy of the court.
And after the weather, they did a story
about a squirrel that water-skis.
And I went to bed happy.
I just remembered that I left my
workbench in your basement, Dale.
Three of us ought to be able to carry it.
- Yo, man.
- No.
Bill, Dale and I can handle it.
Thanks, anyway.
Let's go, Bill and Dale.
Okay.
I know we agreed never
to speak of this again.
But they're gonna drain the quarry.
[Both gasp]
But if they drain the quarry, Boomhauer
will find out what happened to...
Sally!
[Dale sobs]
No.
We agreed never to speak
of that day again.
I remember.
Believe me, I remember.
Naw, I wish Boomhauer'd let us
ride in his car.
How can we be wild and crazy guys...
if we're stuck standing around
all the time?
- Hey, baby.
- Hello.
[Rock song playing on car stereo]
Wait a second. Kid Dy-no-mite has got it.
Why don't we take Boomhauer's car
for a joyride?
Joyride? That sounds fun.
And you know what would be
even more fun?
If after we drive it, we fill it with gas...
so the next time Boomhauer uses it
he's like, "How'd that happen?"
Let's go to 31 Flavors
and ask for 31 samples.
It's legal
and there's nothing they can do about it.
DALE: Yeah!
Zingo!
I'll drive.
You can't handle a stick.
No!
HANK: You're stripping the gears, Dale!
Dale, stop!
The left brake's not working.
That's the clutch. Hit the other pedal.
[Dale screams]
[Melancholic love song]
That was close, but I think I'm okay.
Boomhauer thinks some Yankees
came down and stole the car.
And he's gonna go to his grave
thinking that.
Boomhauer's grave?
Are you suggesting we kill Boomhauer?
Well, you're the boss.
We're not killing Boomhauer.
Yeah, but when they drain that quarry,
they'll find his car...
with our lettermen jackets
right inside and he'll want to kill us.
He won't find out.
Let's just say Councilman Fred Eber
owes me one.
I voted for him.
I'm leaning back towards killing him.
HANK: So you can see, Councilman Eber,
this is a far more suitable location...
for a landfill than the quarry.
EBER: No, they're using that land to build
one of those new multiplexes.
Looks like I'm gonna be
out of a job soon, Hank.
What about that
gray patch of land over there?
It looks pretty useless. It would be perfect.
That's the quarry.
So, if you stop using newspapers,
I can give you...
a coupon for $20 off
your first purchase of a windmill.
I'm sorry I can't help you, Bobby.
I don't use newspapers.
HANK: You can cancel my subscription.
I want to be part of the solution.
I thought you said tree-huggers
like me and Mr. McKay...
were a bunch of
noodle-brained communists.
No.
No, no, no.
No.
This is great!
I'm gonna get extra credit
for bringing you all on board.
We're gonna save itchy algae.
Yeah. Itchy algae.
Earth first! Make Mars our bitch.
I thought we were just having
a few of your classmates over.
Not a bunch of... Who are these people?
They're from Mr. McKay's yoga group.
Principal Moss says our class
can't get grades for protesting.
So all the other kids dropped out.
But don't worry, Dad. I still care.
I even wrote a slogan: "Drain the quarry..."
Dang it, Bobby.
That's exactly what we don't want.
I'm not done.
Drain the quarry, you'll be sorry.
Now, that is good.
This is the first time in my life I've gotten
you to change your mind about something.
Which one of my arguments
did you love the most?
You know, "Spaceship Earth,"
"We're all in this together"...
you know, "Random acts of whatnot."
Who wants some of Peggy Hill's
rainforest cookies?
They are made with
sustainably-harvested Brazil nuts.
All profits go to save the rainforest.
Are those paper plates?
Yes.
Man, dang. It's starting to look like
Woodstock over here.
Man, you talking about that old dang
Sha Na Na going in there, man.
Boomhauer, we're just
saving an endangered species.
Go away!
- You know, itchy algae, that might...
- You heard him. Beat it.
Man, fine.
I'll go do my grocery shopping
my dang self, man.
CROWD: Drain the quarry, you'll be sorry!
Drain the quarry, you'll be sorry!
Hank Hill, Strickland Propane.
I am no stranger to city council meetings...
having supported your
anti-skateboarding initiative...
as well as the neon-sign wattage limits.
But today I present these petitions...
signed by 200 citizens
against the proposed landfill.
Hank, I understand how you
and your fringe minority feel.
But that quarry is a festering stink-hole
that the hobos use as a giant toilet.
We're better off without it.
Let's turn trash into cash.
Their slogan's better than our slogan.
Let's put it to a vote. All in favor?
Then it's settled.
Draining of the quarry will begin
tomorrow at 9 a.m.
[All murmur in disappointment]
Dad, what are we gonna do?
Don't worry, Son. I'll think of something.
I've got it. We create three new people:
Hank Jones, Dale Smith and Bill Manugian.
When they find our lettermen jackets
in the car, those guys take the heat.
Now, we're gonna need three dead guys.
The Army might have some dead guys.
Why couldn't it have been
me and Boomhauer...
that did something horrible to you guys?
Because Boomhauer's a saint.
Okay. I've got a plan that
might actually work.
- Dale, we're gonna need your scuba gear.
- Why?
Because they can't find Boomhauer's car
if it's not there.
But it is there.
Maybe we should use Dale's scuba gear
to pull the car out.
Now, that's a plan, Hank.
Piece of cake.
I found her right between my old
lawnmower, and what I'm fairly certain...
is a genuine Egyptian sarcophagus.
- Okay, Bill. Crank her up.
- Yep.
Damn it, Dale.
Strange.
Another frogman must have
switched the hook after I surfaced.
But why?
HANK: My God.
Look at Boomhauer's car.
At least it won't be too hard
to chop it up and bury it.
Look. Our old lettermen's jackets.
You can still see where Dale's says
"Towel Manager."
- Dad.
- This is nice. Very nice.
Now, you see what Hank is doing, Darren?
He's blocking the draining equipment
with a pile of debris.
He's fighting garbage with garbage.
Good work, Hank.
That's my dad!
Yeah. Thanks.
Okay, everybody. Let's go get
our chains and our bag lunches...
and meet back at Hank's barricade.
I should see if my dad wants
the peanut-butter-and-lentil sandwich...
or the soy eggs and soy-sage.
What are we gonna do, Hank?
If there's a protest, there will be cops.
And if there are cops,
they'll try to pin it on me.
And since I did it, they will succeed.
Oh, my God!
- You know he'll take us down with him.
- That does sound like me, Hank.
Pull it together, guys.
I haven't spent all this time acting like
an environmental nut-job...
just so Boomhauer could find out
we dumped his car here.
Mr. McKay, may I borrow
your cell phone, please?
Yeah.
This is unincorporated Arlen.
There might be roaming charges.
I'll pay them.
- Yo.
- Mr. Boomhauer, it's Bobby Hill.
I found your car, Sally.
Yeah, I think you want to get down
to the quarry as fast as you can.
Man, I gotta run, man.
Need to move the ice cream truck, man.
ALL: [Singing] Kum Ba yah, my Lord
Kum Ba yah!
I can't hear you, Mr. Hill.
You know, with all that junk sitting here...
the quarry already looks like a landfill.
Maybe I should straighten up a bit.
Bill, Dale, help me
push that car into the bushes.
Too late.
Okay, everybody...
link arms and form
a human chain of defiance.
Hi.
We have to get in here to drain the quarry.
Over our bloody and beaten bodies.
I see. Well, this is a protest.
Okay. I hadn't heard anything about it.
You know, new girl at the office.
Still breaking her in.
Okay, so I guess I'll go call the cops.
BILL: Oh, no.
Boomhauer, what are you doing here?
I can't believe it's her, man. Oh, God.
I thought I wouldn't see you
till heaven, man.
Oh, man. Closure, man.
Boomhauer, there's
something you need to know.
I'm sorry. It was a prank
that just got out of hand.
Hank? Dang, man.
Oh, my God. It was Hank?
Boomhauer,
did you find any other jackets...
which might prove
if Hank had any accomplices?
No accomplices.
Hank committed this tragedy all alone.
How could you, Hank?
Man, that dang old three-faced Hank.
Thanks for the heads up, Bobby.
You called Boomhauer on me? But why?
You acted like an environmental
nut-job for a week?
But why?
Bobby, you got to believe me.
I didn't mean for you to hear that.
It's the cops. Wonderful!
I've always wanted to get arrested
for my principles.
Okay, everybody, dead weight!
Please lie on your stomach
and spread your arms and legs.
Me, too?
But I'm not even getting
extra credit anymore.
You heard me.
This is crazy. You can't arrest him.
He's just a misguided seventh-grader
trying to save some pond scum.
I'm the one who did something wrong.
I've always been against stealing cars
and lying to my son.
Now I've done both.
If anyone should be arrested, it's me.
What do you say we go home, Bobby?
Stop resisting. On your stomach.
- All right, let's take him out of here.
- Let's go, pal.
That's it, Dad. Dead weight!
Boomhauer!
Yo, man.
That's just great. Hank was our lift.
If you're taking Bobby,
can you take us, too?
Man, I'll tell you what.
You dang well drove it here.
What are you talking about?
You drive it back, man.
Dang old traitor, man.
What gave us away?
Come on.
You're flooding it.
- Mr. Boomhauer, can I ask your advice?
- Yo.
How long should we
stay angry at my dad?
Well, you know, Bobby,
don't take for me, man.
You know, life's too short, man.
You don't want to hold no grudge, man.
Talking about let old bygones
be bygones, man.
Maybe two weeks, probably three.
You know, Mr. Boomhauer...
I can see why my dad
is always quoting you.
Man, your daddy's quoting me?
Goddang, man.
BOOMHAUER: Maybe just make it
one week.
HANK: No.