King of the Hill (1997–2010): Season 5, Episode 14 - The Exterminator - full transcript
Dale can no longer work as an exterminator because the chemicals he uses have eroded his sinuses. Thus, he must get an office job.
DALE: Exterminator's log, 0:10:05 a.m.
Rat infestation at the Nickman residence.
This where you saw him last, Nickman?
Yes, sir. He was underneath that cabinet.
You see, unlike the human,
the rat drags his testes as he walks.
This creates a urine trail.
[Detector buzzing]
Male testes confirmed.
- Shouldn't you be wearing a mask?
- Mask, smask.
Smask. Sh... mask.
Shmask. Mask, shmask.
That's it. Mask, shmask.
[Breathing heavily]
[Exclaims]
[Dale chuckles]
You've peed in your last old man's kitchen.
[Gasps]
DALE: Nickman?
HANK: It's Hank.
They called me because, apparently,
I'm your emergency contact person.
I wanted someone who had nothing
to gain from my demise.
Good. I'm glad you're awake.
Mr. Gribble,
22 years of breathing in toxins...
have eroded your sinuses
and coated your lungs...
with a substance I can't quite identify.
I would like that substance back.
It belongs to me.
[Sighs]
Look, Dale, the doctor thinks
you should quit exterminating.
- Your body can't handle any more poisons.
- Can, too.
If you don't quit, you won't live to 50.
Of course, I'm rounding that number up.
Well, that was a waste of time.
Don't tell Nancy what he said.
She'd wanna listen to this clown.
I already called her.
She had to stop at home
to get your real IDs.
That was a bad, bad move, Hank.
She's here, too? That's it.
Hank, you are hereby relieved
of your duties as my emergency person.
Peggy, you're in.
You will not regret it.
Nancy, did you borrow
my rat-urine detector?
I donated it to charity.
You're too sick to exterminate, sug'.
I'll tell you what I told that doctor:
"I'm not quitting, you incompetent quack."
I love exterminating.
- More than you love me?
- No.
Pretty close, though.
Dale, you have a family who needs you.
- And I need to work to support them.
- I support us.
- But I contribute.
- You pay the cable bill.
Come on, sug', if not for me,
then for Joseph.
What about your dream
to see your son take his son to Roswell?
That rang true.
Well, if you need me, I'll be 8 feet
under in my metaphorical grave.
The basement.
Damn, I was good.
[Door opens]
Dad, I just came down to borrow
some roaches for my science project.
Roaches have been on this earth
for 500 million years.
You've been here, what? 13?
You're in over your head.
What species are these?
Madagascar hissing cockroaches.
[Hisses]
Well done.
All right, here's what we'll do
for your science project.
We will breed servant roaches.
As long as we ensure
that I'm the first thing the roaches see...
when they are born,
they will think I am their mother...
and will therefore obey
my every command.
My every command.
Think we can train them to crawl
through a maze?
We'll train them to do worse things
than that, Joseph.
[Gasps]
NANCY: Oh, my Lord.
Did it occur to either of you
to set the table for dinner?
I guess we were distracted
by our afternoon...
of monitoring roach excretia.
That's how you spend your days?
Who ate all the chopped meat?
That was dinner.
The roaches.
Excretia doesn't come from nowhere.
Guess who I saw at the Mega Lo Mart?
- Richie Sambora.
- No, you didn't.
You weren't there.
You know, Dale, we're all out here
to unwind from the work day.
But the past few days,
you've, sort of, just been loitering.
I've more pressures than any of you.
You ever tried replacing
a cockroach's blood with root beer?
- You know I haven't.
- Then don't judge me.
Oh, my!
All Dale does is eat, play with bugs,
and make prank phone calls.
Do you know he called my office
three times today...
trying to get me to change
my long-distance service?
That was him?
I'm tired of getting while-you-were-out
messages from the receptionist.
"Husband called, still waiting for sex."
Now, come May, I expect a Mother's Day
gift from you roaches.
Word to the wise:
Something you make yourselves
means even more.
Hey, Dale. How are things with Nancy?
You know, you used to...
brag about... stuff.
I didn't mean to brag.
It's just that we were having
spectacular sex.
Yeah, but not so much lately, huh?
Maybe it's something I ate.
What's the opposite of oysters? Apples?
Look, maybe it has something to do
with you being out of work.
I mean, would you want to
sleep with a bum?
- No.
- That's right.
See, there's nothing sexier than
a man with a nine-to-five job.
Which is why I lined up a new job for you.
Remember my cousin, Rita?
- The one with the under bite?
- Yeah.
Well, she just quit her job
at that adhesives company...
and she's putting in a good word
for you to replace her.
Well, I hope she puts it in writing...
because you can barely
understand her when she talks.
- My man looks so handsome.
- I know.
And I type 30 words per minute.
Can we make out?
Well, look at you in your suit.
It's Joseph's.
You didn't have to drive me to work.
I wasn't gonna play hooky on my first day.
Well, that's not what you told Bobby.
Your boy's a liar and a blabbermouth.
And, Dale, remember,
everyone likes a hard worker.
Of course they do.
They do all the work for them!
Ass.
Mr. Gribble, you're a minute late.
No, my watch says 9:01.
Oh, do you start at 9:00?
Well, we're a team at Stik-Tek.
And a team is only as strong
as its weakest player.
That's you.
We don't smoke here at Stik-Tek.
I understand.
You have to tell everyone that.
We don't allow sunglasses at Stik-Tek...
unless you can prove that you're blind.
Certainly no caps, except yarmulkes
under 8 inches in diameter.
The cap stays.
Not at Stik-Tek.
You're bald.
And not in an attractive way,
like Sean Connery.
Oh, well, rules are rules.
Here's your cubicle.
This is where you sit and work.
Welcome to Stik-Tek.
My little working man's up early today.
They made me join a car pool...
and it leaves early
because of all the stops.
Well, maybe they can pick you up last.
I tried that. Rodriguez is last.
Always has been.
Dale, I know you're used to
being your own boss.
But you've got to learn
how to work with humans.
Humans?
They won't even let me eat lunch
until 1:00.
You know I like nine small meals
throughout the day.
[Car horn honking]
Not ready!
Check this out.
Something's going on between
Frank and Linda.
I heard from that guy in Accounts Payable,
the one with the vintage glasses...
that they were at Bennigan's
sharing mozzarella sticks.
Enjoy the end of
The Today Show, Rodriguez?
Not as much as the beginning of Regis.
Hey, did you guys hear
about Frank and Linda?
DALE: Invoice 1347/2. Amount $3.88.
Check number 8429, cleared.
Invoice number 1347/3.
Amount $17.47.
Check number 3524, cleared.
Oh, God.
Invoice 1347/4. Amount $6.19.
Mr. Gribble, what did I tell you?
- No hats of any kind at Stik-Tek.
- Thank you.
One more slip-up and you lose
your privileges...
to dress casual on casual Fridays.
- Are we clear?
- Clear.
Can I go to lunch now?
I moved your lunch to 4:00.
I need you to fill in for the receptionist.
She's eating lunch.
I don't know if I can wait
for Dale any longer.
BILL: I'm getting awfully chilly.
DALE: Up yours, Rodriguez.
Hey, Dale, what's new
in the world of adhesives?
Well, we were each issued
two Stik-Tek brand stick-it pads.
Well, this is great. We're getting
the inside scoop here, fellas.
I should tell you about Special Project F...
adhesive strips for envelopes that come
in all different flavors.
Mango, peach, lime, cherry...
and maybe piña colada.
Speaking purely as a consumer...
I can't wait for that product
to hit the stores.
- How about you, Boomhauer?
- Dang old...
What?
Yeah, man. You know...
Dad, since you're spending
so much time at work...
we'd better leave the roach tank
in your office.
That way you'll still be the first thing
they see when they hatch.
- And they'll think...
- Up yours, Joseph!
- Dale.
- I'm sorry, son.
That's the coffee talking,
and the fluorescent lighting.
And the excruciating headache.
Make some time for the roaches, sug'.
We'd all love to make time for roaches.
But in the real world, people have to
spend all night reconciling invoices...
or Miss Pitman won't let them
wear chinos and a knit shirt next Friday!
Dale, what are you doing to
the Bug-a-Bago?
My turn to drive the car pool...
and the underground
garage clearance is only 7 feet.
Why don't you just take off her antennas?
Why don't you just take off Bobby's head?
I can't fire Bert.
He and I started at Stik-Tek
at the same time...
19 years ago.
Well, I can't fire him.
We were married briefly in the '80s.
Part of me still loves him.
DALE: Whine, whine, whine.
When I was an exterminator,
I killed living "isms."
What's the big whoop
about firing someone?
Mr. Gribble, you don't know
Bert Halverstrom, do you?
Met him once. Didn't care for him much.
Well, since you're about
the only one here...
who has no personal attachment to Bert,
maybe you could do me a favor...
Fire him?
Throw in a container of milk
and we have ourselves a deal.
Good-looking kids for two ugly people.
I was expecting Miss Pitman. Amy.
Yeah, she asked me to talk to you instead.
Aren't you the receptionist?
When Judy eats lunch.
But that's not important.
What is important is
that you've got 30 seconds...
to tell me why you should keep your job.
Well, I...
Yeah, that's not going to fly.
Sorry, Halverstrom. You're fired.
[Gasps]
Bert, I just heard. I'm so sorry.
That was very decisive.
Listen, there's someone else I need to fire.
This person I hate so much,
I can't even look at him.
You know the price.
- It's all over, Gladstone.
- Excuse me?
Pack your stuff and get out
by the end of the day.
I can see why you don't like him.
What about my health insurance?
- Miss Pitman?
- I fought for you, Sal. Honestly.
Anyone else? I'm still thirsty.
Mr. Gribble, how would you like to
make this your permanent job?
Firing Gladstone? Sure. Gladstone!
No.
Look, nobody knows this...
but Dallas is downsizing
the flavored adhesive division.
Piña colada was killing lab monkeys
left and right.
What a day.
Car pool had to stop at the store.
Rodriguez needed a comb.
Oh, yeah.
They made me Assistant Vice President
of Human Resources.
My husband is an assistant vice president?
I am so proud of you.
What're you doing?
I heard Mitch got eighty-sixed, too.
Yeah, at his own damn birthday party.
Gribble walked in, blew out the candles,
told him to leave the cake and get out.
All of these plants are real...
and give off oxygen
which I use throughout the day.
By my count, that's six outlets, Dale,
all of them grounded.
NANCY: Here's a photo of me for your
new, big, fancy desk.
We could move it
if we ever wanted to... you know.
Have sex on the desk? Sure.
We could even move the roaches.
I'll just have to find a new place...
to keep my keys
to the executive washroom.
- Who has to make?
- Why, I could go.
You're not an executive.
Hold it in until we get to the restaurant.
How could I have forgotten?
- Lewis, could you come in here for a sec?
- Yes, Mr. Gribble.
Lewis, now, you've been with Stik-Tek
for how long?
- It'll be 14 years next week.
- No, it won't.
You're fired.
[All gasp]
- Fired? But...
- Yeah, listen.
I'm hungry, she has to pee,
and he has to get back to work...
or he'll end up in the same boat as you.
But I've got four children.
I had someone earlier today with eight.
Heck, I once killed a beetle
with 30 million in her egg sac.
[Sobs]
Well, who wants steak?
DALE: Sh-sh-shah to you!
That guy you fired today,
the way he was crying...
I said sh-sh-shah.
...I just can't get that image
out of my head.
Then let me replace it with this image.
[Humming]
- Sorry, sug'. I just don't feel like it.
- Maybe this'll help.
Rodriguez, if you ever want your kids...
to see you lose another sack race
at the company picnic...
I suggest you get your butt
in the back seat.
Excuse me.
[Chuckles smugly]
Thought so.
Carl...
as a janitor, what would you do...
with unlimited free time and no income?
- Sug'?
- Busy, Nancy.
Joseph, also busy.
But, Dad, my science project's
due tomorrow.
I need my roaches.
They should've hatched by now.
They're in the bottom drawer of my desk
next to Carl's severance check.
Now, if you'll excuse us...
They've escaped. We gotta find them.
You people with your roaches.
I'm trying to fire this incompetent fool
with compassion.
But, Dad!
You keep this up, Joseph,
you're fired from this family.
- Dale.
- You're next, Blondie.
Carl, I'm off to round up some roaches.
Any one of which would have made
a better janitor than you.
People, we have a small insect situation.
Please remain... Veronica, you're fired...
calm and enjoy your lunch.
[All screaming]
Look out!
Remain calm, everyone. I am their mother.
Line up single file and get back in the tank.
[Screams]
They're not recognizing me
as their maternal influence.
The project has gone horribly awry.
Quick, Joseph, get me some real poison.
But, Dad, you're not supposed
to inhale any more poison.
Damn it, why are there so many ways
to kill people...
but only one way to kill bugs?
Hold that thought.
[Grunts]
[Dale chuckles]
[Dale grunts]
[Grunting]
[Grunting]
[Yells]
[Gasps]
Turbine!
[Rumbling]
[Dale screaming]
Sh-sh-sha!
The roaches are dead.
Please return to your lunch.
Enjoy.
Wow.
You killed them all.
And you didn't even use poison.
Yeah, I did. And I didn't, did I?
I don't need that toxic crutch.
All I need is Dale Gribble,
the exterminator.
Pitman, firing people can give you
a pretty good buzz...
but it's a poor, poor substitute for killing.
- I realize that now.
- Dale, please.
You were the best human resources
manager Stik-Tek ever had.
And I'm going all the way back to
when we were Stik Co.
Sorry, Miss Pitman,
I've got some love to give.
And some love to make.
MISS PITMAN: Mr. Gribble.
DALE: Good news, Joseph.
You can have your suit back.
DALE: Maybe this'll help.
Rat infestation at the Nickman residence.
This where you saw him last, Nickman?
Yes, sir. He was underneath that cabinet.
You see, unlike the human,
the rat drags his testes as he walks.
This creates a urine trail.
[Detector buzzing]
Male testes confirmed.
- Shouldn't you be wearing a mask?
- Mask, smask.
Smask. Sh... mask.
Shmask. Mask, shmask.
That's it. Mask, shmask.
[Breathing heavily]
[Exclaims]
[Dale chuckles]
You've peed in your last old man's kitchen.
[Gasps]
DALE: Nickman?
HANK: It's Hank.
They called me because, apparently,
I'm your emergency contact person.
I wanted someone who had nothing
to gain from my demise.
Good. I'm glad you're awake.
Mr. Gribble,
22 years of breathing in toxins...
have eroded your sinuses
and coated your lungs...
with a substance I can't quite identify.
I would like that substance back.
It belongs to me.
[Sighs]
Look, Dale, the doctor thinks
you should quit exterminating.
- Your body can't handle any more poisons.
- Can, too.
If you don't quit, you won't live to 50.
Of course, I'm rounding that number up.
Well, that was a waste of time.
Don't tell Nancy what he said.
She'd wanna listen to this clown.
I already called her.
She had to stop at home
to get your real IDs.
That was a bad, bad move, Hank.
She's here, too? That's it.
Hank, you are hereby relieved
of your duties as my emergency person.
Peggy, you're in.
You will not regret it.
Nancy, did you borrow
my rat-urine detector?
I donated it to charity.
You're too sick to exterminate, sug'.
I'll tell you what I told that doctor:
"I'm not quitting, you incompetent quack."
I love exterminating.
- More than you love me?
- No.
Pretty close, though.
Dale, you have a family who needs you.
- And I need to work to support them.
- I support us.
- But I contribute.
- You pay the cable bill.
Come on, sug', if not for me,
then for Joseph.
What about your dream
to see your son take his son to Roswell?
That rang true.
Well, if you need me, I'll be 8 feet
under in my metaphorical grave.
The basement.
Damn, I was good.
[Door opens]
Dad, I just came down to borrow
some roaches for my science project.
Roaches have been on this earth
for 500 million years.
You've been here, what? 13?
You're in over your head.
What species are these?
Madagascar hissing cockroaches.
[Hisses]
Well done.
All right, here's what we'll do
for your science project.
We will breed servant roaches.
As long as we ensure
that I'm the first thing the roaches see...
when they are born,
they will think I am their mother...
and will therefore obey
my every command.
My every command.
Think we can train them to crawl
through a maze?
We'll train them to do worse things
than that, Joseph.
[Gasps]
NANCY: Oh, my Lord.
Did it occur to either of you
to set the table for dinner?
I guess we were distracted
by our afternoon...
of monitoring roach excretia.
That's how you spend your days?
Who ate all the chopped meat?
That was dinner.
The roaches.
Excretia doesn't come from nowhere.
Guess who I saw at the Mega Lo Mart?
- Richie Sambora.
- No, you didn't.
You weren't there.
You know, Dale, we're all out here
to unwind from the work day.
But the past few days,
you've, sort of, just been loitering.
I've more pressures than any of you.
You ever tried replacing
a cockroach's blood with root beer?
- You know I haven't.
- Then don't judge me.
Oh, my!
All Dale does is eat, play with bugs,
and make prank phone calls.
Do you know he called my office
three times today...
trying to get me to change
my long-distance service?
That was him?
I'm tired of getting while-you-were-out
messages from the receptionist.
"Husband called, still waiting for sex."
Now, come May, I expect a Mother's Day
gift from you roaches.
Word to the wise:
Something you make yourselves
means even more.
Hey, Dale. How are things with Nancy?
You know, you used to...
brag about... stuff.
I didn't mean to brag.
It's just that we were having
spectacular sex.
Yeah, but not so much lately, huh?
Maybe it's something I ate.
What's the opposite of oysters? Apples?
Look, maybe it has something to do
with you being out of work.
I mean, would you want to
sleep with a bum?
- No.
- That's right.
See, there's nothing sexier than
a man with a nine-to-five job.
Which is why I lined up a new job for you.
Remember my cousin, Rita?
- The one with the under bite?
- Yeah.
Well, she just quit her job
at that adhesives company...
and she's putting in a good word
for you to replace her.
Well, I hope she puts it in writing...
because you can barely
understand her when she talks.
- My man looks so handsome.
- I know.
And I type 30 words per minute.
Can we make out?
Well, look at you in your suit.
It's Joseph's.
You didn't have to drive me to work.
I wasn't gonna play hooky on my first day.
Well, that's not what you told Bobby.
Your boy's a liar and a blabbermouth.
And, Dale, remember,
everyone likes a hard worker.
Of course they do.
They do all the work for them!
Ass.
Mr. Gribble, you're a minute late.
No, my watch says 9:01.
Oh, do you start at 9:00?
Well, we're a team at Stik-Tek.
And a team is only as strong
as its weakest player.
That's you.
We don't smoke here at Stik-Tek.
I understand.
You have to tell everyone that.
We don't allow sunglasses at Stik-Tek...
unless you can prove that you're blind.
Certainly no caps, except yarmulkes
under 8 inches in diameter.
The cap stays.
Not at Stik-Tek.
You're bald.
And not in an attractive way,
like Sean Connery.
Oh, well, rules are rules.
Here's your cubicle.
This is where you sit and work.
Welcome to Stik-Tek.
My little working man's up early today.
They made me join a car pool...
and it leaves early
because of all the stops.
Well, maybe they can pick you up last.
I tried that. Rodriguez is last.
Always has been.
Dale, I know you're used to
being your own boss.
But you've got to learn
how to work with humans.
Humans?
They won't even let me eat lunch
until 1:00.
You know I like nine small meals
throughout the day.
[Car horn honking]
Not ready!
Check this out.
Something's going on between
Frank and Linda.
I heard from that guy in Accounts Payable,
the one with the vintage glasses...
that they were at Bennigan's
sharing mozzarella sticks.
Enjoy the end of
The Today Show, Rodriguez?
Not as much as the beginning of Regis.
Hey, did you guys hear
about Frank and Linda?
DALE: Invoice 1347/2. Amount $3.88.
Check number 8429, cleared.
Invoice number 1347/3.
Amount $17.47.
Check number 3524, cleared.
Oh, God.
Invoice 1347/4. Amount $6.19.
Mr. Gribble, what did I tell you?
- No hats of any kind at Stik-Tek.
- Thank you.
One more slip-up and you lose
your privileges...
to dress casual on casual Fridays.
- Are we clear?
- Clear.
Can I go to lunch now?
I moved your lunch to 4:00.
I need you to fill in for the receptionist.
She's eating lunch.
I don't know if I can wait
for Dale any longer.
BILL: I'm getting awfully chilly.
DALE: Up yours, Rodriguez.
Hey, Dale, what's new
in the world of adhesives?
Well, we were each issued
two Stik-Tek brand stick-it pads.
Well, this is great. We're getting
the inside scoop here, fellas.
I should tell you about Special Project F...
adhesive strips for envelopes that come
in all different flavors.
Mango, peach, lime, cherry...
and maybe piña colada.
Speaking purely as a consumer...
I can't wait for that product
to hit the stores.
- How about you, Boomhauer?
- Dang old...
What?
Yeah, man. You know...
Dad, since you're spending
so much time at work...
we'd better leave the roach tank
in your office.
That way you'll still be the first thing
they see when they hatch.
- And they'll think...
- Up yours, Joseph!
- Dale.
- I'm sorry, son.
That's the coffee talking,
and the fluorescent lighting.
And the excruciating headache.
Make some time for the roaches, sug'.
We'd all love to make time for roaches.
But in the real world, people have to
spend all night reconciling invoices...
or Miss Pitman won't let them
wear chinos and a knit shirt next Friday!
Dale, what are you doing to
the Bug-a-Bago?
My turn to drive the car pool...
and the underground
garage clearance is only 7 feet.
Why don't you just take off her antennas?
Why don't you just take off Bobby's head?
I can't fire Bert.
He and I started at Stik-Tek
at the same time...
19 years ago.
Well, I can't fire him.
We were married briefly in the '80s.
Part of me still loves him.
DALE: Whine, whine, whine.
When I was an exterminator,
I killed living "isms."
What's the big whoop
about firing someone?
Mr. Gribble, you don't know
Bert Halverstrom, do you?
Met him once. Didn't care for him much.
Well, since you're about
the only one here...
who has no personal attachment to Bert,
maybe you could do me a favor...
Fire him?
Throw in a container of milk
and we have ourselves a deal.
Good-looking kids for two ugly people.
I was expecting Miss Pitman. Amy.
Yeah, she asked me to talk to you instead.
Aren't you the receptionist?
When Judy eats lunch.
But that's not important.
What is important is
that you've got 30 seconds...
to tell me why you should keep your job.
Well, I...
Yeah, that's not going to fly.
Sorry, Halverstrom. You're fired.
[Gasps]
Bert, I just heard. I'm so sorry.
That was very decisive.
Listen, there's someone else I need to fire.
This person I hate so much,
I can't even look at him.
You know the price.
- It's all over, Gladstone.
- Excuse me?
Pack your stuff and get out
by the end of the day.
I can see why you don't like him.
What about my health insurance?
- Miss Pitman?
- I fought for you, Sal. Honestly.
Anyone else? I'm still thirsty.
Mr. Gribble, how would you like to
make this your permanent job?
Firing Gladstone? Sure. Gladstone!
No.
Look, nobody knows this...
but Dallas is downsizing
the flavored adhesive division.
Piña colada was killing lab monkeys
left and right.
What a day.
Car pool had to stop at the store.
Rodriguez needed a comb.
Oh, yeah.
They made me Assistant Vice President
of Human Resources.
My husband is an assistant vice president?
I am so proud of you.
What're you doing?
I heard Mitch got eighty-sixed, too.
Yeah, at his own damn birthday party.
Gribble walked in, blew out the candles,
told him to leave the cake and get out.
All of these plants are real...
and give off oxygen
which I use throughout the day.
By my count, that's six outlets, Dale,
all of them grounded.
NANCY: Here's a photo of me for your
new, big, fancy desk.
We could move it
if we ever wanted to... you know.
Have sex on the desk? Sure.
We could even move the roaches.
I'll just have to find a new place...
to keep my keys
to the executive washroom.
- Who has to make?
- Why, I could go.
You're not an executive.
Hold it in until we get to the restaurant.
How could I have forgotten?
- Lewis, could you come in here for a sec?
- Yes, Mr. Gribble.
Lewis, now, you've been with Stik-Tek
for how long?
- It'll be 14 years next week.
- No, it won't.
You're fired.
[All gasp]
- Fired? But...
- Yeah, listen.
I'm hungry, she has to pee,
and he has to get back to work...
or he'll end up in the same boat as you.
But I've got four children.
I had someone earlier today with eight.
Heck, I once killed a beetle
with 30 million in her egg sac.
[Sobs]
Well, who wants steak?
DALE: Sh-sh-shah to you!
That guy you fired today,
the way he was crying...
I said sh-sh-shah.
...I just can't get that image
out of my head.
Then let me replace it with this image.
[Humming]
- Sorry, sug'. I just don't feel like it.
- Maybe this'll help.
Rodriguez, if you ever want your kids...
to see you lose another sack race
at the company picnic...
I suggest you get your butt
in the back seat.
Excuse me.
[Chuckles smugly]
Thought so.
Carl...
as a janitor, what would you do...
with unlimited free time and no income?
- Sug'?
- Busy, Nancy.
Joseph, also busy.
But, Dad, my science project's
due tomorrow.
I need my roaches.
They should've hatched by now.
They're in the bottom drawer of my desk
next to Carl's severance check.
Now, if you'll excuse us...
They've escaped. We gotta find them.
You people with your roaches.
I'm trying to fire this incompetent fool
with compassion.
But, Dad!
You keep this up, Joseph,
you're fired from this family.
- Dale.
- You're next, Blondie.
Carl, I'm off to round up some roaches.
Any one of which would have made
a better janitor than you.
People, we have a small insect situation.
Please remain... Veronica, you're fired...
calm and enjoy your lunch.
[All screaming]
Look out!
Remain calm, everyone. I am their mother.
Line up single file and get back in the tank.
[Screams]
They're not recognizing me
as their maternal influence.
The project has gone horribly awry.
Quick, Joseph, get me some real poison.
But, Dad, you're not supposed
to inhale any more poison.
Damn it, why are there so many ways
to kill people...
but only one way to kill bugs?
Hold that thought.
[Grunts]
[Dale chuckles]
[Dale grunts]
[Grunting]
[Grunting]
[Yells]
[Gasps]
Turbine!
[Rumbling]
[Dale screaming]
Sh-sh-sha!
The roaches are dead.
Please return to your lunch.
Enjoy.
Wow.
You killed them all.
And you didn't even use poison.
Yeah, I did. And I didn't, did I?
I don't need that toxic crutch.
All I need is Dale Gribble,
the exterminator.
Pitman, firing people can give you
a pretty good buzz...
but it's a poor, poor substitute for killing.
- I realize that now.
- Dale, please.
You were the best human resources
manager Stik-Tek ever had.
And I'm going all the way back to
when we were Stik Co.
Sorry, Miss Pitman,
I've got some love to give.
And some love to make.
MISS PITMAN: Mr. Gribble.
DALE: Good news, Joseph.
You can have your suit back.
DALE: Maybe this'll help.