King of the Hill (1997–2010): Season 4, Episode 21 - Nancy Boys - full transcript
Nancy ends her 14-year-long affair with John Redcorn.
[Squelching]
[Popping]
Oh, sweet lord!
Hello? Hank hill,
strickland propane
.
Unannounced service check.
We've got
a storage tank situation
that requires
immediate attention.
[Muffled screaming]
Someone here?
[Gasping]
Ah, mr. Winston,
we've got a problem here.
When you replaced
your regulator,
you didn't replace
the copper pigtail
and now you've--
oh, thank god!
Thank you, hank.
You saved my life.
Heh, heh. A leaky pigtail's
really more
of a waste issue
than a safety issue.
I've been trapped
in that dang freezer
since 2:00
in the morning
.
I dropped
a jar of ragu,
and the door slammed shut
while i was moppin' it up.
If it weren't for you,
i'd be dead.
Really?
I saved a life.
How do you like that?
I like it a lot, hank.
Why don't you come bac
k this weekend?
I'll give you dinner
for 2 on the house.
What am i sayin'?
You saved my life.
Dinner for 4.
(hank)
And then i opened
the freezer door
and damned if i didn't find
a guy in a tuxedo.
Oh, hank,
you could have been killed
.
Now, promise me
you will never do
something like that again.
Well, hold on.
To thank me
for saving his life,
he's given me
free dinner for 4
including drinks but not tip.
So, who should we invite?
Oh, i figured
since it was
for 4 people,
i'd take dale, bill,
and boomhauer.
You can't go
with the guys!
That's amore is the
most romantic restaurant
in all of heimlich county.
You will take me,
and we will invite
another couple to join us.
How about me
and connie?
We were just sayin'
we don't go out enough
with other couples.
You and connie?
[Chuckles]
What on earth
would we talk about?
Well, the upshot is
the man's not dead
and i've got
a free dinner for 4
at that's amore.
All right!
Way to go, hank!
We get to share a meal
at the most romantic
restaurant in town.
Sorry, peggy wants it
to be a couples date.
You know,
with another couple.
(all)
Oh!
Wait a minute.
I have a wife.
We're a couple.
? i get a free meal!
I get a free meal! ??
[Laughs]
[Sighs]
(nancy)
Who is it?
Dale gribble.
[Muttering]
Oh, shoot.
Come in.
Sorry to interrupt
your healin' session,
hey, john redcorn.
...but hank and peggy
invited us to dinner
saturday night.
But saturday is
one of my
john redcorn nights.
Sorry, sug'.
But, nancy,
maybe you should go.
What? No! I have
an appointment with you.
For my migraines.
Yes, i know. It's just...
i've healed you
3 to 5 nights a week
for many years.
I could really
use a night off.
I don't understand.
Did i do something
to upset you
as a patient?
No, of course not.
I love treating you
for migraines.
Then what is it?
It's nothing.
It's not nothing.
It's just...
damn it! Can't i
take a night off?
Do whatever you want.
I don't care.
Great! I'll tell 'em
we're on.
Guess who's joinin' us
for dinner?
Dale and nancy.
She already told you?
Oh, my god!
Hank, i was joking.
I didn't mean
to invite him.
I wouldn't have
even brought it up
if i remembered
for a second
that he was married.
Oh, they're not
even a real couple.
Did you know
she only sleeps with him
on his birthday
and christmas?
That's why
she gets so depressed
around the holidays.
[Crickets chirping]
Peggy.
Madam gribble.
Would you excuse me?
Boy! Her can looks so sexy
when she's walkin' away,
it's almost a shame
she's gonna turn around
and come back.
[Coughing]
[Choking]
(john on answering machine)
Hello, this is john redcorn.
If you're callin'
about the car,
it's already been sold.
Otherwise,
please leave a message.
[Answering machine beeps]
John redcorn, it's me.
(nancy)
I guess you're out
enjoying your night off.
Well, i miss you.
I'll call you tomorrow.
[Sighs]
??[piano playing]
Hey, there, beautiful.
What are you drinkin'?
Red wine?
Yep, red wine.
Take a hike.
The lady doesn't
want to be bothered.
It's ok.
I know him.
I have never seen
this woman
before in my life
except in my dreams.
??[playing]
[Inhaling]
You smell good.
Thank you.
[Inhaling]
I like your tie.
.
Found it on the ground
haven't worn it
since i was inaugurated
president of the gun club.
I didn't know
you were president.
Congratulations.
Oh, and congratulations
to you
on your 79 percent
accuracy rate
in predicting
last month's weather.
You watch
channel 84 action news
with miguel hernandez?
I sort of have a crush
on the weather gal.
Oh, i forgot
you have brown eyes.
.
They're so cute
and close together
look at those two.
They're so happy
it almost makes you
forget their last 14 years.
Mmm-hmm.
Romance has a new address.
Yep.
This place sure is special.
Hank, would yo
u like to dance?
Oh, no, thanks.
I'm on my feet all day.
[Music continues playing]
[Diners exclaim]
Oh, yeah.
Self-taught.
I had a nice time
tonight, sug'.
Yeah. Me, too.
Well, good night.
(nancy
) dale.
(dale)
Duh!
[Dale yells]
[Nancy sighs]
[Sighs]
Ok. Let's get started.
[Yawning]
Mmm.
[Gasps]
Oh, my god!
Boy, if they gave
an olympic medal
in sexual gymnastics,
i would have taken hom
e the silver last night.
[Chuckling]
Yeah.
If you say so.
I was pretty drunk.
Oh, i'd forgotten
how comfortable
your mattress is.
What is it? Sealy?
Simmons? Serta?
Spring air?
Stearns & foster?
I don't know.
Simmons, i bet.
Well, gotta go
empty some glue traps
over at the preschool
but i'll be thinkin' of you.
[Door closing]
.
Morning, nancy
you're up early,
and so am i.
Morning.
?
Oh, is something wrong
[sobbing]
I slept with dale.
.
Oh, my god!
We forgot his birthday
oh, what if
john redcorn finds out?
14 years
we've been together
and i throw it all awa
y for one night
of reckless passion.
Nancy, now,
you know my position
on monogamy.
I am in favor of it.
This is your chance
to give up the excitement
of an affair
and have a normal life
with your husband.
I'm sorry, sug'.
Maybe monogamy works
for you and hank,
but it does not work
for me and dale
and john redcorn.
Hey, baby.
Daddy's home.
You miss me?
Mmm.
John redcorn's
comin' over tonight.
When are you leaving
for the gun club?
Your headache's back?
But you felt fine
when i left.
Wait a minute.
Every time i leave,
you call john redcorn.
I know what's goin' on here.
Your headaches
are a desperate bi
d for my attentions.
But what do i do?
I pawn you off
on some indian healer
so i can have my dale time
at the gun club.
Or breeding show-turtles.
Or on the internet,
investigating
unexplained phenomenona.
God, i am so selfish!
[Gasps]
.
Oh, stop
blamin' yourself, sug'
in some ways
this is my fault, too.
I don't deserve you.
Of course you do.
You are a sensitive,
trusting, sweet,
trusting man,
and i don't deserve you.
Are you sure
you're not an alien?
'Cause you just
abducted my heart.
Someone just had sex
with his wife.
Dang, man! I tell you,
old hank, man,
you go grab a little
afternoon like that, man.
-
what? I didn't do-
me. Me! It was me!
You and--and nancy
? are you sure?
Yeah, i thought you were
withholding intimacy
to preserve your life force.
I was.
But then hank had to go
draggin' me
and the old lady
.
To some italian romanceria
next thing you know,
we're on our 2nd honeymoon
only this time,
no cruise ship,
and i only vomited once.
(dale)
I think i've finally
gotten to the point
where i actually love her
more than my mother.
[Sighs]
[Beeping]
]
[Phone ringing
(answering machine)
Hello. This is john redcorn.
If you're calling
about the car, it's--
hello? Hello?
Hello?
Yeah, hold on.
Your message.
[Answering machine beeps]
(john)
Sorry.
Um, i have to cancel
tonight's session.
What?
I--i have a headache.
So? Just take an aspirin.
Here's the thing:
I can't see you anymore.
Nancy, please.
Shut up, bill.
I'm sorry, john redcorn.
(nancy)
There you are, sug'.
Who let you
out of the house?
[Both moaning]
]
[Clears throat
uh, peggy and i sure did have
a good time last night.
Oh, yeah. Dale and i
had a good time
last night, too.
[Both giggling]
[Giggling]
The 4 of us should
get together again soon.
[Sighs]
??[music playing on stereo]
[Nancy whooping]
[Laughing]
Whoo.
[Groaning]
[Children laughing]
Whoo.
Hey, hank, why are you
skating backwards?
[Laughing]
If i wanted to, i could.
I just think
there are better things
the 4 of us could
be doing together.
Are you suggestin' we swing?
I'm sorry.
I don't share my nancy
with anyone.
I was not suggesting that
at all.
You can't go back
on it now.
It's already out there.
Nancy, i am so glad
you finally took my advice
and decided to love dale.
And you know what?
I don't even mind
doin' the right thing
when it's this much fun.
[Exclaims]
Love train!
[Mimicking train horn]
??[love train
by o'jays playing]
? start a love train,
love train ??
[Window sliding]
[Gasps]
What the hell?
[Groans]
Where are my smokes?
Um, i think
they're in the shower caddy.
[Groans]
[Door closing]
[Grunts]
What was he doing
in your bed?
.
Tell me
he had a nightmare
i didn't mean to hurt you.
You have to believe me.
Do you love him?
I'm sorry.
No, i'm sorry.
[Screams]
[Grunting]
(dale)
Huh, john redcorn?
I--i didn't...
i mean, i--i--i though
t it was a burglar.
?
Wha-what was he doing
in our bedroom
in the middle of the night
um, he was dropping off
an insurance-claim form.
Damn my cat-like reflexes!
Chi-chi-cha!
Stop with the chi-chi-cha,
sug!
[Groaning]
Everything's gonna be ok.
I'm here for you.
So is dale.
Oh, god, oh, god,
please don't sue!
[Grunts]
John redcorn, come back.
I'm sorry!
You didn't do
anything wrong.
[Tires screeching]
I'm the one
who kabonked him.
Hey, look.
We're brushin'
our teeth together.
You think we should
invite dale and nancy
to join us?
Wouldn't that be fun?
Obviously not,
but i think
that was your point.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm glad their marriage
has stopped crumbling,
but when are
these couples dates
gonna end?
You know dale thought
we wanted to swing?
Swing? Absolutely not.
?
You get nancy
and i end up with dale
who's the clear winner there?
Hmm? Dale!
It's just,
seeing you like that
passed out on the floor,
so vulnerable,
.
Like a sexy
wounded bear..
We've been through
too much together
to end it like this.
(nancy)
I want you back.
.
I'm 36 years old.
I don't need this crap
oh!
[Sobbing]
Was that john redcorn?
No.
Oh, yes.
How's he doin'?
I don't know.
He hung up on me.
Maybe i should go over
to his trailer
and apologize.
No! I think
maybe the best thing
for you,
,
for both of us
is to just let it go.
Promise me, dale.
Promise you'll let it go.
All he ever did
was make your head
feel better
and i go and make
his head feel worse.
It's almost ironic.
[Birds chirping]
Hey, john redcorn.
.
I came to apologiz
e for beating you up
you didn't beat me up.
You snuck up behind me
with a lamp.
Ok, i know
you're mad at me right now
and probably
a little scared,
and i feel horrible.
?
Now, what do you say?
Let's smoke 'em peace pipe
[sighs]
Goodbye, dale.
Oh, come on.
How about
you hit me on the head
and we call it even?
This'll work.
[Grunting]
Oh, hitting you
won't change anything.
I'll still be
living in a trailer,
no wife, no land.
You know, over half of arlen
used to belong to my people.
You come from money?
10 years ago
i filed a lawsuit
against the bureau
of indian affairs,
but to this day,
.
They refuse
to return the land
that's rightfully ours
hmm, have you tried
using f.o.i.a.?
What?
Enacted in 1966,
the freedom of
information act, or f.o.i.a.,
gives any citizen
the right to request access
to federal agency records
or information.
It's what i used
when i took on the i.r.s.
For disallowin' my status
as a tax-exempt church.
?
Would you mind
bringing down
the federal government?
Not at all.
Can i?
No.
Please?
No.
Oh, come on.
If it'll shut you up.
Ha-ha.
(nancy)
Dale, dinner.
Have you sugs seen dale?
I can't see anything!
Geez, i hope he's not dead
or we'd have to cancel
our couples date
at the lake.
Damn.
Where have you been?
I've been worried.
Well, not worried,
lonely.
Oh, i was at, uh, uh, uh,
at the gun club
playing russian roulette.
Oh. Did you win?
You're not really familiar
with the game, are ya?
No.
[Inhales]
Yeah, i won.
[Chiming]
Fifth-ally,
we don't live
in communist china
and our indians have
rights which are...
[groaning]
Ah, you're pushing
yourself too hard.
You must relax.
[Sighs]
Hmm. Oh, yeah.
Dale, you are a good man.
All this effort
on behalf of my struggle
and you're not even
a native american.
Isn't it time we put
aside our differences?
On behalf of the white man,
i would like to
formally apologize
for everything my people
have done to your people.
And i would like to apologize
for everything
i've done to you
and your people.
(nancy)
Dale said he'd meet me here
after de-roaching
the christian science
reading room.
I feel like such a fool.
She feels like a fool?
I might as well be paddlin
g a giant jackass
around the lake.
[Chuckles]
Well, he's not comin'.
And you wonder
why i need 2 men?
One is always
letting me down.
Uh, yeah. Ok, then.
That's it. We're goin' in.
Hank.
[Squeaking]
Nancy, going back
to having dale
and john redcorn
is not the answer.
There's an expression
that i once heard.
It goes something like:
"2's company, 3's a crowd."
Hmm.
Well, i've heard
another expression:
"The heart wants
what it wants." woody allen.
(peggy)
Nancy, wait!
He married his daughter!
And done.
All it needs is
your john hancock,
john redcorn.
[Doorbell ringing]
Thank you again, dale.
The pizza, it's on me.
[Gasps]
I made a mistake.
I had it all
and i threw half of it away.
All i want is it all again.
(john)
Nancy, no.
(dale)
Nancy?
Oh, my god, dale!
What are you
doin' here?
Uh, dang christian scientists
gave me a headache.
Then they wouldn't
give me an aspirin,
just a magazine,
so i thought
redcorn could help.
A similar question would be:
What are you doin' here?
Uh, uh,
i have a headache, too.
A big migraine
just snuck up on me.
Ow, ow, oh, it hurts.
Your headaches are back?
But i thought...
aah, the swan boats.
I completely forgot.
Now you got a migraine
and it's all my fault.
I hope you're happy.
No.
.
Ok, nancy, here's the deal
i know i promised
i wouldn't come here,
but 15 years of
patient-healer relations
.
And i shatter it
like so much lamp on scalp
i can't fix that lamp.
I tried, and i got
a really bad shock.
But maybe i can put
you two back together.
You came here for me?
For both of you.
What do you say,
john redcorn?
Will you heal my wife,
please?
No.
I'm sorry, but no.
You bastard!
After all the help
i've given you?
Dale, you've become
a true friend, which is wh
y it would be
unprofessional of me
to continue seeing your wife.
I understand.
Wait. I guess
i could treat you.
I may not be
a licensed new age healer,
but i think i've walked in
on you guys often enough
to know
what goes on in there.
Dale, the power to heal
dwells not in the head
or the hands,
but in the heart.
You are a good man,
and you love nancy very much.
And perhaps
love is the strongest medicine
of all.
[Snickers]
I'm sorry. It's just...
goodbye, nancy.
Goodbye, john redcorn.
[Snickers]
I was gettin'
a weird vibe in there.
You think he's gay?
??[living after midnight
by judas priest playing]
? loaded, loaded ?
? i come alive
in the neon light ?
? that's when i make
my moves right ?
? living after midnight ?
This is good.
This is dynamite.
? lovin' till the morning ??
(dale)
Love train, whoo, whoo!
[Popping]
Oh, sweet lord!
Hello? Hank hill,
strickland propane
.
Unannounced service check.
We've got
a storage tank situation
that requires
immediate attention.
[Muffled screaming]
Someone here?
[Gasping]
Ah, mr. Winston,
we've got a problem here.
When you replaced
your regulator,
you didn't replace
the copper pigtail
and now you've--
oh, thank god!
Thank you, hank.
You saved my life.
Heh, heh. A leaky pigtail's
really more
of a waste issue
than a safety issue.
I've been trapped
in that dang freezer
since 2:00
in the morning
.
I dropped
a jar of ragu,
and the door slammed shut
while i was moppin' it up.
If it weren't for you,
i'd be dead.
Really?
I saved a life.
How do you like that?
I like it a lot, hank.
Why don't you come bac
k this weekend?
I'll give you dinner
for 2 on the house.
What am i sayin'?
You saved my life.
Dinner for 4.
(hank)
And then i opened
the freezer door
and damned if i didn't find
a guy in a tuxedo.
Oh, hank,
you could have been killed
.
Now, promise me
you will never do
something like that again.
Well, hold on.
To thank me
for saving his life,
he's given me
free dinner for 4
including drinks but not tip.
So, who should we invite?
Oh, i figured
since it was
for 4 people,
i'd take dale, bill,
and boomhauer.
You can't go
with the guys!
That's amore is the
most romantic restaurant
in all of heimlich county.
You will take me,
and we will invite
another couple to join us.
How about me
and connie?
We were just sayin'
we don't go out enough
with other couples.
You and connie?
[Chuckles]
What on earth
would we talk about?
Well, the upshot is
the man's not dead
and i've got
a free dinner for 4
at that's amore.
All right!
Way to go, hank!
We get to share a meal
at the most romantic
restaurant in town.
Sorry, peggy wants it
to be a couples date.
You know,
with another couple.
(all)
Oh!
Wait a minute.
I have a wife.
We're a couple.
? i get a free meal!
I get a free meal! ??
[Laughs]
[Sighs]
(nancy)
Who is it?
Dale gribble.
[Muttering]
Oh, shoot.
Come in.
Sorry to interrupt
your healin' session,
hey, john redcorn.
...but hank and peggy
invited us to dinner
saturday night.
But saturday is
one of my
john redcorn nights.
Sorry, sug'.
But, nancy,
maybe you should go.
What? No! I have
an appointment with you.
For my migraines.
Yes, i know. It's just...
i've healed you
3 to 5 nights a week
for many years.
I could really
use a night off.
I don't understand.
Did i do something
to upset you
as a patient?
No, of course not.
I love treating you
for migraines.
Then what is it?
It's nothing.
It's not nothing.
It's just...
damn it! Can't i
take a night off?
Do whatever you want.
I don't care.
Great! I'll tell 'em
we're on.
Guess who's joinin' us
for dinner?
Dale and nancy.
She already told you?
Oh, my god!
Hank, i was joking.
I didn't mean
to invite him.
I wouldn't have
even brought it up
if i remembered
for a second
that he was married.
Oh, they're not
even a real couple.
Did you know
she only sleeps with him
on his birthday
and christmas?
That's why
she gets so depressed
around the holidays.
[Crickets chirping]
Peggy.
Madam gribble.
Would you excuse me?
Boy! Her can looks so sexy
when she's walkin' away,
it's almost a shame
she's gonna turn around
and come back.
[Coughing]
[Choking]
(john on answering machine)
Hello, this is john redcorn.
If you're callin'
about the car,
it's already been sold.
Otherwise,
please leave a message.
[Answering machine beeps]
John redcorn, it's me.
(nancy)
I guess you're out
enjoying your night off.
Well, i miss you.
I'll call you tomorrow.
[Sighs]
??[piano playing]
Hey, there, beautiful.
What are you drinkin'?
Red wine?
Yep, red wine.
Take a hike.
The lady doesn't
want to be bothered.
It's ok.
I know him.
I have never seen
this woman
before in my life
except in my dreams.
??[playing]
[Inhaling]
You smell good.
Thank you.
[Inhaling]
I like your tie.
.
Found it on the ground
haven't worn it
since i was inaugurated
president of the gun club.
I didn't know
you were president.
Congratulations.
Oh, and congratulations
to you
on your 79 percent
accuracy rate
in predicting
last month's weather.
You watch
channel 84 action news
with miguel hernandez?
I sort of have a crush
on the weather gal.
Oh, i forgot
you have brown eyes.
.
They're so cute
and close together
look at those two.
They're so happy
it almost makes you
forget their last 14 years.
Mmm-hmm.
Romance has a new address.
Yep.
This place sure is special.
Hank, would yo
u like to dance?
Oh, no, thanks.
I'm on my feet all day.
[Music continues playing]
[Diners exclaim]
Oh, yeah.
Self-taught.
I had a nice time
tonight, sug'.
Yeah. Me, too.
Well, good night.
(nancy
) dale.
(dale)
Duh!
[Dale yells]
[Nancy sighs]
[Sighs]
Ok. Let's get started.
[Yawning]
Mmm.
[Gasps]
Oh, my god!
Boy, if they gave
an olympic medal
in sexual gymnastics,
i would have taken hom
e the silver last night.
[Chuckling]
Yeah.
If you say so.
I was pretty drunk.
Oh, i'd forgotten
how comfortable
your mattress is.
What is it? Sealy?
Simmons? Serta?
Spring air?
Stearns & foster?
I don't know.
Simmons, i bet.
Well, gotta go
empty some glue traps
over at the preschool
but i'll be thinkin' of you.
[Door closing]
.
Morning, nancy
you're up early,
and so am i.
Morning.
?
Oh, is something wrong
[sobbing]
I slept with dale.
.
Oh, my god!
We forgot his birthday
oh, what if
john redcorn finds out?
14 years
we've been together
and i throw it all awa
y for one night
of reckless passion.
Nancy, now,
you know my position
on monogamy.
I am in favor of it.
This is your chance
to give up the excitement
of an affair
and have a normal life
with your husband.
I'm sorry, sug'.
Maybe monogamy works
for you and hank,
but it does not work
for me and dale
and john redcorn.
Hey, baby.
Daddy's home.
You miss me?
Mmm.
John redcorn's
comin' over tonight.
When are you leaving
for the gun club?
Your headache's back?
But you felt fine
when i left.
Wait a minute.
Every time i leave,
you call john redcorn.
I know what's goin' on here.
Your headaches
are a desperate bi
d for my attentions.
But what do i do?
I pawn you off
on some indian healer
so i can have my dale time
at the gun club.
Or breeding show-turtles.
Or on the internet,
investigating
unexplained phenomenona.
God, i am so selfish!
[Gasps]
.
Oh, stop
blamin' yourself, sug'
in some ways
this is my fault, too.
I don't deserve you.
Of course you do.
You are a sensitive,
trusting, sweet,
trusting man,
and i don't deserve you.
Are you sure
you're not an alien?
'Cause you just
abducted my heart.
Someone just had sex
with his wife.
Dang, man! I tell you,
old hank, man,
you go grab a little
afternoon like that, man.
-
what? I didn't do-
me. Me! It was me!
You and--and nancy
? are you sure?
Yeah, i thought you were
withholding intimacy
to preserve your life force.
I was.
But then hank had to go
draggin' me
and the old lady
.
To some italian romanceria
next thing you know,
we're on our 2nd honeymoon
only this time,
no cruise ship,
and i only vomited once.
(dale)
I think i've finally
gotten to the point
where i actually love her
more than my mother.
[Sighs]
[Beeping]
]
[Phone ringing
(answering machine)
Hello. This is john redcorn.
If you're calling
about the car, it's--
hello? Hello?
Hello?
Yeah, hold on.
Your message.
[Answering machine beeps]
(john)
Sorry.
Um, i have to cancel
tonight's session.
What?
I--i have a headache.
So? Just take an aspirin.
Here's the thing:
I can't see you anymore.
Nancy, please.
Shut up, bill.
I'm sorry, john redcorn.
(nancy)
There you are, sug'.
Who let you
out of the house?
[Both moaning]
]
[Clears throat
uh, peggy and i sure did have
a good time last night.
Oh, yeah. Dale and i
had a good time
last night, too.
[Both giggling]
[Giggling]
The 4 of us should
get together again soon.
[Sighs]
??[music playing on stereo]
[Nancy whooping]
[Laughing]
Whoo.
[Groaning]
[Children laughing]
Whoo.
Hey, hank, why are you
skating backwards?
[Laughing]
If i wanted to, i could.
I just think
there are better things
the 4 of us could
be doing together.
Are you suggestin' we swing?
I'm sorry.
I don't share my nancy
with anyone.
I was not suggesting that
at all.
You can't go back
on it now.
It's already out there.
Nancy, i am so glad
you finally took my advice
and decided to love dale.
And you know what?
I don't even mind
doin' the right thing
when it's this much fun.
[Exclaims]
Love train!
[Mimicking train horn]
??[love train
by o'jays playing]
? start a love train,
love train ??
[Window sliding]
[Gasps]
What the hell?
[Groans]
Where are my smokes?
Um, i think
they're in the shower caddy.
[Groans]
[Door closing]
[Grunts]
What was he doing
in your bed?
.
Tell me
he had a nightmare
i didn't mean to hurt you.
You have to believe me.
Do you love him?
I'm sorry.
No, i'm sorry.
[Screams]
[Grunting]
(dale)
Huh, john redcorn?
I--i didn't...
i mean, i--i--i though
t it was a burglar.
?
Wha-what was he doing
in our bedroom
in the middle of the night
um, he was dropping off
an insurance-claim form.
Damn my cat-like reflexes!
Chi-chi-cha!
Stop with the chi-chi-cha,
sug!
[Groaning]
Everything's gonna be ok.
I'm here for you.
So is dale.
Oh, god, oh, god,
please don't sue!
[Grunts]
John redcorn, come back.
I'm sorry!
You didn't do
anything wrong.
[Tires screeching]
I'm the one
who kabonked him.
Hey, look.
We're brushin'
our teeth together.
You think we should
invite dale and nancy
to join us?
Wouldn't that be fun?
Obviously not,
but i think
that was your point.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm glad their marriage
has stopped crumbling,
but when are
these couples dates
gonna end?
You know dale thought
we wanted to swing?
Swing? Absolutely not.
?
You get nancy
and i end up with dale
who's the clear winner there?
Hmm? Dale!
It's just,
seeing you like that
passed out on the floor,
so vulnerable,
.
Like a sexy
wounded bear..
We've been through
too much together
to end it like this.
(nancy)
I want you back.
.
I'm 36 years old.
I don't need this crap
oh!
[Sobbing]
Was that john redcorn?
No.
Oh, yes.
How's he doin'?
I don't know.
He hung up on me.
Maybe i should go over
to his trailer
and apologize.
No! I think
maybe the best thing
for you,
,
for both of us
is to just let it go.
Promise me, dale.
Promise you'll let it go.
All he ever did
was make your head
feel better
and i go and make
his head feel worse.
It's almost ironic.
[Birds chirping]
Hey, john redcorn.
.
I came to apologiz
e for beating you up
you didn't beat me up.
You snuck up behind me
with a lamp.
Ok, i know
you're mad at me right now
and probably
a little scared,
and i feel horrible.
?
Now, what do you say?
Let's smoke 'em peace pipe
[sighs]
Goodbye, dale.
Oh, come on.
How about
you hit me on the head
and we call it even?
This'll work.
[Grunting]
Oh, hitting you
won't change anything.
I'll still be
living in a trailer,
no wife, no land.
You know, over half of arlen
used to belong to my people.
You come from money?
10 years ago
i filed a lawsuit
against the bureau
of indian affairs,
but to this day,
.
They refuse
to return the land
that's rightfully ours
hmm, have you tried
using f.o.i.a.?
What?
Enacted in 1966,
the freedom of
information act, or f.o.i.a.,
gives any citizen
the right to request access
to federal agency records
or information.
It's what i used
when i took on the i.r.s.
For disallowin' my status
as a tax-exempt church.
?
Would you mind
bringing down
the federal government?
Not at all.
Can i?
No.
Please?
No.
Oh, come on.
If it'll shut you up.
Ha-ha.
(nancy)
Dale, dinner.
Have you sugs seen dale?
I can't see anything!
Geez, i hope he's not dead
or we'd have to cancel
our couples date
at the lake.
Damn.
Where have you been?
I've been worried.
Well, not worried,
lonely.
Oh, i was at, uh, uh, uh,
at the gun club
playing russian roulette.
Oh. Did you win?
You're not really familiar
with the game, are ya?
No.
[Inhales]
Yeah, i won.
[Chiming]
Fifth-ally,
we don't live
in communist china
and our indians have
rights which are...
[groaning]
Ah, you're pushing
yourself too hard.
You must relax.
[Sighs]
Hmm. Oh, yeah.
Dale, you are a good man.
All this effort
on behalf of my struggle
and you're not even
a native american.
Isn't it time we put
aside our differences?
On behalf of the white man,
i would like to
formally apologize
for everything my people
have done to your people.
And i would like to apologize
for everything
i've done to you
and your people.
(nancy)
Dale said he'd meet me here
after de-roaching
the christian science
reading room.
I feel like such a fool.
She feels like a fool?
I might as well be paddlin
g a giant jackass
around the lake.
[Chuckles]
Well, he's not comin'.
And you wonder
why i need 2 men?
One is always
letting me down.
Uh, yeah. Ok, then.
That's it. We're goin' in.
Hank.
[Squeaking]
Nancy, going back
to having dale
and john redcorn
is not the answer.
There's an expression
that i once heard.
It goes something like:
"2's company, 3's a crowd."
Hmm.
Well, i've heard
another expression:
"The heart wants
what it wants." woody allen.
(peggy)
Nancy, wait!
He married his daughter!
And done.
All it needs is
your john hancock,
john redcorn.
[Doorbell ringing]
Thank you again, dale.
The pizza, it's on me.
[Gasps]
I made a mistake.
I had it all
and i threw half of it away.
All i want is it all again.
(john)
Nancy, no.
(dale)
Nancy?
Oh, my god, dale!
What are you
doin' here?
Uh, dang christian scientists
gave me a headache.
Then they wouldn't
give me an aspirin,
just a magazine,
so i thought
redcorn could help.
A similar question would be:
What are you doin' here?
Uh, uh,
i have a headache, too.
A big migraine
just snuck up on me.
Ow, ow, oh, it hurts.
Your headaches are back?
But i thought...
aah, the swan boats.
I completely forgot.
Now you got a migraine
and it's all my fault.
I hope you're happy.
No.
.
Ok, nancy, here's the deal
i know i promised
i wouldn't come here,
but 15 years of
patient-healer relations
.
And i shatter it
like so much lamp on scalp
i can't fix that lamp.
I tried, and i got
a really bad shock.
But maybe i can put
you two back together.
You came here for me?
For both of you.
What do you say,
john redcorn?
Will you heal my wife,
please?
No.
I'm sorry, but no.
You bastard!
After all the help
i've given you?
Dale, you've become
a true friend, which is wh
y it would be
unprofessional of me
to continue seeing your wife.
I understand.
Wait. I guess
i could treat you.
I may not be
a licensed new age healer,
but i think i've walked in
on you guys often enough
to know
what goes on in there.
Dale, the power to heal
dwells not in the head
or the hands,
but in the heart.
You are a good man,
and you love nancy very much.
And perhaps
love is the strongest medicine
of all.
[Snickers]
I'm sorry. It's just...
goodbye, nancy.
Goodbye, john redcorn.
[Snickers]
I was gettin'
a weird vibe in there.
You think he's gay?
??[living after midnight
by judas priest playing]
? loaded, loaded ?
? i come alive
in the neon light ?
? that's when i make
my moves right ?
? living after midnight ?
This is good.
This is dynamite.
? lovin' till the morning ??
(dale)
Love train, whoo, whoo!