King of Stonks (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Episode #1.3 - full transcript
A NETFLIX SERIES
Now you're at the top.
And yet it doesn't feel that way.
Just be happy!
Honestly, Felix,
no one presents real figures.
Everyone lies.
Entrepreneurs, politicians, the press.
It's not whether you lie,
but whether they believe you.
Okay, I adjusted the new customer numbers.
During the presentation
we have to make sure…
The Forum.
Awesome.
Only the really big players make it here.
Tim Cook, Jeff Bezos,
Elon.
Yes, only the really big… assholes.
-Sammy, keep your mouth shut.
-No!
Leave him.
Now, assholes or not,
what do you think
the three men I listed have in common?
Well, they all have
over a million Twitter followers.
And you have… 10,000.
With your photo
of a plate of spaghetti carbonara.
Hashtag CarboDiem.
That's great!
I mean, 10,000 followers
for a plate of spaghetti
isn't so bad at all!
What does an average user have?
A thousand, tops. Right, Steffi?
How many people follow you? Three?
111,302.
I once filmed myself trying to find
a parking spot during Karneval.
That's when my account blew up.
Unlike you, Steffi is super likable.
That helps.
What? I'm not likable?
A private jet? Even the Chinese
are coming by train this year.
-Julie Roux's gonna love hating you--
-Julie who?
The hero of my bubble.
For 50 years, the rich and powerful
have met at the Global Economic Forum.
And they claim
to be making the world a better place.
What have they achieved? Nothing!
Nothing!
Protests occurred already on day one
of the Global Economic Forum in Geneva.
Led by activist Julie Roux, thousands of
protesters marched through the city center,
but did not reach the conference.
Economics expert Tom Wieland
has first impressions from the Forum.
Here at the Global Economic Forum,
the business elite are anxious
to see CableCash's presentation.
There have been insider rumors
about fantastical growth figures.
Tomorrow we'll see
if they are really so good,
or if they are too good to be true.
As if I'm not likable!
Let's say "hello" to your bubble.
No, no, no! What are you doing?
Steffi, put that on the…
the Internet.
Then we'll see who has the bigger bubble.
Look at the global economic elite.
You could just marry one for money
instead of sniffing around here.
Don't worry, I'd rather
get in bed with you again.
If I had to decide between me and them,
I'd rather get in bed with me too.
Alright then. But that's not why
you wanted to meet here, is it?
I took a look at your folder.
And?
I could publish an article after this
that would really hurt them.
Really?
You don't know how that'd help me, really.
I'm missing a few sources,
but maybe I can go public earlier.
After the presentation
I'll show you what I have.
If the short sell doesn't work,
I'm screwed.
And not just kind of screwed.
Like how people usually mean it.
I mean, really, truly fucked.
Well, then get going.
Thanks.
I guess he is still around,
the badass Tom from before.
"Badass Tom from before"
was professor of economic journalism
'til he slept with Sheila.
You can't do anything anymore.
Now he's an economics correspondent.
But he dreams of restoring his reputation.
An article exposing the country's
greatest visionary as a fraud
would be a good start.
I'll get us out of here in three days
without the press tearing us to bits.
Bringing the whole crew in a party bus
probably wasn't the best way to do that.
No, no, no, we're not getting drunk yet.
No, people! People!
Everyone please sit down.
Unfortunately we have to work a little
before we…
…before we get going.
Hey, quiet! Quiet!
Okay, the show tomorrow
is the big kick-off.
After that, we'll fan out.
Networking! Networking! Networking!
We have to make a respectable impression.
First point.
What are CableCash's values?
Okay. So.
Test, test, test.
Is this damn thing on?
Right, and this here…
this is our headquarters.
This is where my warriors
are preparing for the great battle!
Hello to you!
Hello! Good evening, good evening.
Turn off the damn music,
I have something important to tell you.
There was once a little boy
who nobody believed in,
not even his own father.
Would that poor boy
ever have even dreamed of
flying to Geneva in a private plane
and playing with the big boys
at the Global Economic Forum?
Abso-fucking-lutely!
So, what do you want to do now?
We'll go through the entire press list
and see who could be dangerous to us.
-From our panel?
-No, at the whole Forum.
We'll be here all night.
Isn't that a bit paranoid?
No, no, no!
You, my friends,
you can all really
flood your skulls today.
And make sure that this Forum
remembers you forever!
-Cable…
-Cash!
-Cable…
-Cash!
-Cable…
-Cash! Cash! Cash!
Now, dear friends…
One more thing.
Thai Klaus!
In the word of beauty and wealth,
Klaus is satisfied
with just being wealthy.
Klaus knows people.
And he knows things.
Knowledge is power,
and Klaus knows how to use power.
He's just bringing the fondue.
Same thing with the Sachertorte in Vienna,
then Magnus was missing for two weeks.
But they made 40 million.
Felice!
Klausi! Hey!
Klausi knows the entire
Asia faction at the Forum.
He once snatched the husband
of the head of Bank of Thailand,
or the CEO's wife, I forget.
The currency crashed,
I made out like a bandit,
and they just went ahead
and banished the CEO!
Listen up, mesdames et monsieurs!
There are rules in Switzerland.
And the most important one
is the fondue rule.
If a piece of bread falls in,
the deal is…
that you have to run
through the lobby naked!
Stir it well!
Come on, boss.
Try it.
Don't let them ruin our night.
He's missing the crust,
that's the problem.
People! People!
It's happening!
Strip! Strip!
Magnus, we're not really
doing this, are we?
Of course we are.
That was my bread.
Okay, that works too.
As long as we follow the rules.
There's no need for that.
No, no, no!
Rules are rules.
Strip, and get in the lobby.
Felix!
Go on!
Sascha! Sascha!
Come on, forget it.
It's too hot in here for me anyway.
I'll do it for you.
Magnus is such a self-important asshole.
I'm out.
-Magnus, I'm going to bed.
-Felix.
If you fuck this up tomorrow,
we're finished.
Uh, you know what?
If anyone knows
how important tomorrow is, it's me.
You think I'd leave these people hanging?
They're family!
You love numbers so much.
Look, look here.
Our stock went up 20% in one day.
because investors
are so excited for tomorrow.
Klaus!
Okay, Felix, keep calm.
As long as Magnus
goes onstage with you in his ear,
you'll manage it somehow.
He's just a fucking bat costume
and you're Bruce fucking Wayne.
I have something special for you, 30%.
You wanted 30%, I'm giving you 30%.
Look at this. Get it out there.
-One hundred fifty!
-Yes!
I love you! I love you!
I still have to introduce you to Einar!
Hey Einar!
Come on over here.
This is Einar, my Icelandic oil prince!
Mon petit prince!
I'd double my investment if you tell me
about your quarterly figures.
I can tell you,
stockholders will remember
tomorrow's presentation fondly.
Skál, Mr. CableCash!
Hey, Jutta, tell me,
how many Dalmatian puppies
had to die for that?
Partying at this hour?
Isn't your show early tomorrow?
Yes. It'll be great.
I hope you don't dream about
all your haters online.
Listen, Jutta.
That is what's called a "meme"
and it creates a "buzz."
Five million followers who hate you
are still five million followers.
Now you know the deal.
And because people follow me,
which isn't so for you, dear Jutta,
I don't need to sleep.
15 MISSED CALLS
78 NEW MESSAGES
FELICE, WHERE ARE YOU?
I NEED YOU
FELIX WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH
I FEEL SICK
MISSED VIDEO CALL
Typical.
Hey, knock again.
It's starting in a few minutes.
Do it now!
-Fuck it. Go inside.
-And if he's naked?
I don't care. Go in!
Magnus?
Magnus?
I don't think he even checked in.
Keep looking until you find him, damn it!
-Wow.
-Oh!
So? Nervous?
Ah, uh… It's fine.
Good luck!
You really have to light it up.
I got the American Treasury Secretary in.
Ah!
I want a photo with him and Magnus.
Can you tell him?
Yes, we can arrange that.
Germany can do more than data protection.
Okay.
Alex! Shit, where are you?
We have a huge problem!
Then just tell me he isn't there, okay?
Fuck!
Magnus isn't coming.
Look. How long
have you known him?
With all these people
waiting to see him jerk off?
What? Who gave the sign?
No! No! Alex, stop this!
Say hello to
the CEO of CableCash!
-Shit! What do we do now?
-You have to do it.
-Me?
-You're the fucking C.O.O.!
You've got this.
Felix, calm down.
I can't do this.
Of course you can, Felix.
Because you're the real brain, Felix.
I knew that right away,
and they will too
once they hear you speak.
You're the brain.
-I'm the brain.
-You're the brain.
-I'm the brain.
-You're the brain.
Hello, Geneva!
-Where's Magnus?
-Who are you?
The agricultural fair is next week,
you farmer!
Magnus rented out a party villa.
He did what?!
There was a spectacular downswing
on the market today.
Payment provider CableCash's stock
fallen into turbulence.
More from economics expert Tom Wieland.
CEO of the hour, Magnus Cramer,
simply failed to show up for his
much anticipated debut at the GEF.
We did get to see
a fairly embarrassing appearance
by COO Felix Armand.
What the fuck?!
-I saw it. I saw it!
-What the fuck?!
Why aren't you doing anything?
Is he crashing our stock on purpose?
Do none of you care?
I'm sure he had a plan, Felix.
Alex.
-You got it?
-Yes.
CableCash is a company that relies on
the individual strengths of its employees.
Success is by no means solely… Oh, no!
Success is not dependent on
Dr. Magnus A. Cramer.
Company management distances itself
from Dr. Cramer's statements and
actions, and assures stockholders…
Stop! Wait.
Assures what?
…assures stockholders,
under Felix Armand's leadership…
What, Felix? What is this?
A press release.
-It's a dissolution contract.
-Just in case.
Are you serious?
People. We need to have
the communication ready.
The guy is nuts.
You have to understand that.
This is fucking dangerous!
If he starts a scandal because
he can't keep his stupid trap shut,
or because he doesn't show up
to present our quarterly figures,
then we have to be prepared.
Our hands are tied, people!
Okay?
We are the last bastion
against the insanity!
-Yeah, a bastion. Exactly!
-It can't go on like this!
That's right!
People.
It's not just about our jobs.
It's about all our friends' jobs.
They have families.
We have to take on responsibility, okay?
And I feel like I'm out here alone.
-You're not alone.
-We're with you!
-Are you with me?!
-Yes, Felix!
-Do you support me?
-Yes, of course!
-Let's do this together.
-Yes!
-Are you in?
-Yeah!
Yeah?
-Okay Napoleon, may I interrupt?
-Please.
"Press releases on structural changes
to the company must be approved
by the executive and supervisory boards,"
Paragraph 4(2b).
You can get Magnus to sign,
then I'll get supervisory board approval.
Then you can dream of
finally being the Caliph.
Sounds great.
Go on. Print it.
We're saving this company, okay?
Together.
Are you coming? Maybe?
What happened here?
Magnus?
Magnus.
Felice!
Magnus, the party is over.
Oh, hogwash!
It's only just getting started.
Look at this.
Ah, shit. You don't understand.
It's all going even better than expected.
I took the pulse
of the world's elite last night,
and, my God, they love me!
Everybody knows Mr. CableCash.
All I want from him
is his fucking shampoo.
Do you know how much
our stock has sunk in the last few hours?
CableCash!
Do you get it?
Just a small hiccup.
-A hiccup?
-Felix!
We can stop lying to our investors.
All they want to know is
who this Dr. Cramer is!
Because I didn't show up
the buzz about me has gotten even bigger!
Controlling the narrative, Felix.
When I'm doing well,
the stock is doing well.
I… hold this.
I…
am…
the stock!
-Uh, Klaus?
-Yeah?
Show him how I'm trending on Twitter.
Yeah?
If this keeps up, Felix.
I'll soon have more followers
than this weird eco-tramp.
You'll see.
Yes, but more followers
isn't necessarily better.
What are you trying to say?
-Huh?
-I'd like…
I'd like you to sign something
for me, okay?
You think I'm crazy?
No, I think in the interest of the…
-Because I'm insane?
-No!
But Felix, a signature
is only legally valid
if it comes from a sane person.
-Yeah…
-So I am sane?
-Yes, that…
-Why would I sign that I'm not?
It doesn't work.
Alex? That doesn't work, does it?
Give me a pen. Right…
This is a D-.
Your performance didn't meet expectations.
You'll have to redo that for me. Goodbye.
So people, what's up?
Everyone have a bathing suit?
That worked out great.
-Cable…
-Cash!
-Cable…
-Cash!
Does every family have a father
who is a huge asshole?
It was like that at my house too.
Can't be helped.
Eventually, I got sick of it
and moved out.
So either we take off
or turn into assholes ourselves.
-Okay, boss.
-No, seriously. The world loves assholes.
Egocentric narcissists
are elected president,
and they get all the prizes and attention.
And if you play by the rules,
no one even knows you exist.
Then let's not play by the rules.
But what can we do?
If I didn't always save his ass,
the world would see who Magnus really is.
I have a plan, but I need your help.
Okay.
And I need help from…
Sammy!
How good are you with Photoshop?
Put it on Twitter, Insta, Reddit
and Facebook.
No, Facebook's not cool.
As long as the whole world sees it.
And we need a good hashtag.
Come in. We don’t have much time.
All right, I got everything.
How did you…?
Google.
Get ready, Magnus.
This is war.
Orange badges are
for media representatives.
But you don't look like a media rep.
They all look the same.
And the blue badges?
Who are they for?
Blue is very good.
They're the official attendants
of heads of state.
Ah, stop it! Austria!
We can speak German.
Have you seen this? I think it's so…
-I'd like to see that.
-Right?
But my wife wanted another child,
so what was I supposed to do?
And you? This is the first time
a green badge has been interested in me.
We can ignore purple.
They're just technicians.
Pure waste of time.
Green. They're the most important.
CEOs, government officials,
leading media bosses.
Sometimes, even the Forum President.
But it won't be easy to get to him.
Maybe you can appeal to his vanity.
President for two years!
I've been president for 50 years now.
Yes, but how much longer?
I mean, I associate the Forum
with big moments.
When you tried to get
Arafat and Peres to reconcile.
Or when Gorbachev and Helmut Kohl
had a personal conversation,
here at the Forum.
What happened
to history-making moments like that?
Maybe that's a good sign.
There are fewer conflicts.
On the contrary!
Have you seen the social media fight
between activist Julie Roux
and Mr. CableCash?
It's a hot topic here at the Forum,
and you don't even give it a stage.
Maybe your husband has lost his bite.
Sadly, I have to agree with you.
KUNKELMANN TIRE SERVICE
HEY, MARCO, I NEED A "TIRE CHANGED"
Hey, Amira.
Hi.
If I didn't know better,
I'd think you were following me.
Sorry I just ran off last time.
You were just afraid
of getting shot on stage, I get it.
"Adam Smith."
Not particularly imaginative.
But green badges mean
we're the good guys, so…
At an event only bad guys are invited to.
Congratulations! Great.
A few years ago these people
would've been my biggest enemies.
He who's not a communist at 20 has
no heart. If he's still a communist at…
Brah!
Fuck! What are they doing here?
-Felix, we've been looking for you.
-Look!
We look like real businessmen, right?
We are, you tard!
New business, new name.
-Now we just need… a headquarters.
-Headquarters, yeah.
That's why we're going hunting
with the Grand Duke of Luxembourg.
Cool. Well then have fun! Bye.
Just one small thing, Felix.
We were bragging about you guys.
The asshole said we can't go
unless we bring you two.
That's not possible.
-Now I'm…
-At a meeting.
But you still owe us a favor,
on account of Visconti.
We owe you a favor?!
For getting Magnus in a fucking…
Can we do this later?
Can we exchange numbers?
-Or…
-Sure.
There you go.
Great! Then, uh…
-Have fun!
-Can I maybe get your number too?
-Ciao.
-Sorry!
You playboy!
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
You little fucker, you!
GRAND DUKE OF LUXEMBOURG
Felix, I understand
if you think I'm crazy.
-Yeah?
-Lots of the greats were accused of that.
They said Ludwig II was schizophrenic.
Scientists proved
that he had a shrunken brain.
It's often a fine line
between genius and insanity.
That's not at all what I…
You know where this insanity got us?
Or rather, this genius?
Tomorrow there's a panel
with only me and that snotty brat Roux.
Organized by the Forum president himself.
He realized that at the Forum and online
everyone is only talking about me
and that twerp.
Everyone will be there,
and it'll be streamed.
Live!
It was just announced. And look… boom!
The stock price is climbing again!
And when I'm done
with that little activist twerp
our stock's going to explode!
Yes, Magnus, you're right.
Who cares about quarterly figures?
You are the stock!
Oh, fuck!
-Shit!
-What was that?
What is this shit?
-You got him?
-Yeah, man!
Kingslayer!
Dude, I'm better than Rambo!
You idiot!
You can't just shoot like that.
-But he hit it.
-Yeah, but he only maimed it!
Now we have to look for the damn thing.
Mr. Cramer?
Mr. Cramer, come join me as forerider?
Forerider?
As foreriders, we come. Together.
The foreriders are coming.
Mr. Cramer, we don't get nervous
if prices fluctuate a bit.
That's part of it.
If the Germans no longer want you,
we always have a place for you.
Felix, dude, we already have a name.
Yeah.
Boys To Men.
-Like the boy band?
-What boy band?
It signifies how we made it,
from young jerk-offs to real businessmen.
Language, Fabian! What's with you?
I'm sure you'd be happy
with some benefits,
like Ikea or Amazon enjoy.
They're happy as clams with us.
-Hey, the critter!
-That's it?
You shot fucking Bambi!
Who will do the honors?
-Felix.
-No, I won't.
No, no, no! No, I can't do it.
"No, no, no! No, I can't do it."
Are you gay or something?
Hey! What century are you living in?
Being gay doesn't mean he's a pussy.
And what does "pussy" mean?
That someone's weaker
because he or she has a pussy?
Look at him. It's possible.
Maybe he has both.
It's cool,
I just wanted to say that loser…
Listen, you little porno dwarves!
You act like big-time businessmen
in your first communion suits,
but you have no clue about business!
You could count yourselves lucky
to have even a fraction
of Felix's strategic foresight.
Foresight?
If you're looking for two morons
who'll pay you loads of taxes,
here they are,
with the warmest recommendation.
Another thing, your barn door is open.
Felix, come on. We're going.
Assholes.
"The Hermanns merely served
the bank as a stepping stone
into the highly profitable world
of financial crime.
It'd be a lovely story if it were taking
place in Duckburg, and not Düsseldorf.
Sadly, the victim here is not
Donald Duck, but the German taxpayer."
I love it.
-See?
-So good.
Not entirely impotent yet.
-Despite the townhouse and minivan.
-Thanks.
If we get this out there
when the price is shaky anyway,
it'll be the end of them.
It's perfect.
-I love win-win deals.
-"The profit margins given
eclipse those of similar providers
from Norway by over 200 times as much.
To achieve that, CableCash would have to
process 30 million transactions a day."
Did you check that?
That's not from me.
What?
"The federal government is building…
The federal government is building upon
a foundation of pipe dreams."
-What is it?
-Oh, man! Seriously?
-Come on!
-Yeah. That's enough!
Oh, Sheila, come on.
Hey, stop touching me, man!
Come on, Sheila.
Do you know
how much work I put into that article?
I'm so ungrateful, huh?
Screw your damn article.
Come on, Sheila. That's not why I did it.
Shut up!
I'll find another mediocre journalist
to put together a few sentences.
Pretty boring dude, your Tom Wieland.
Average career, two kids,
married eleven years.
Separated briefly due to his infidelity.
That's it?
Yeah, well…
Oh! His father worked
for an insurance company
and was fired without notice.
Okay. That's no help to me.
He was fired
due to a consultant's strategy.
The consultant shut down the department.
His dad never found another job,
his wife left him,
and he drank himself to death.
Guess what the consultant's name was.
No clue.
I have no time for guessing games.
Dr. Magnus…
-Aurel…
-No!
-Yes!
-No!
…Cramer.
Magnus Cramer, yes.
What do I owe you?
First time's free.
May I come in briefly?
-Absolutely not.
-Wait.
I want to announce a press release
on your program tomorrow.
-Have a nice evening.
-Wait!
I know you're not interested in CableCash.
You're after Cramer.
And I know why.
If you think you can get rid of me
with money, you're mistaken.
No, no, no.
I don't want to get rid of you.
I want to help you get rid of Magnus.
Okay?
But trying to get him via CableCash
won't work, because CableCash…
The business is stable. It's clean.
But suppose Magnus were to undo himself
tomorrow at the panel.
He embarrasses himself live
in front of the world's economic elite.
As far as I know, he always
has you in his ear to watch out for him.
But what if he doesn't?
What if I can't be with him tomorrow
because I'm with you.
Reading a press release live
that calms investors and…
You want to distance yourself from Cramer
and make yourself CEO?
You backstabbing snake.
You can call me Felix.
Why are you so sure I won't just
publish all of this in an article?
Because then I'll reveal the real reason
you're smearing CableCash.
Your editorial office will learn about
Magnus and your daddy.
I'm a bit of a journalist myself.
Have a nice evening.
♪ Corner office, assistant too ♪
♪ More driven than me and you ♪
♪ He is the chief executive ♪
♪ A visionary, so attractive ♪
♪ In short, a man who fascinates ♪
♪ His brand new teeth like shining blades ♪
HEY FELICE, I'M GLAD I'LL HAVE YOU
IN MY EAR AGAIN TOMORROW.
On the last day of the Global
Economic Forum in Geneva,
the most important topics of
global economics will be discussed.
The focus today is on ethics
in the digital space.
Prominent guests of the GEF
arrive on time for the main event.
The panel with activist Julie Roux and
Dr. Magnus Cramer, CEO of CableCash,
who, after a short downtrend, can
be delighted at a dazzling stock price.
The appearance of activist Roux
is fueling protests in the city center.
The police are expecting
further riots there.
Special forces are in place to guarantee
the security of the forum.
Without negative energy,
nothing bad can happen.
Voicemail.
You could just say you ate something bad.
She's a little girl.
I can manage without Felix in my ear.
Come here, if I get stuck out there
just say something to me.
Sure thing.
Without negative energy,
nothing bad can happen.
Why isn't he coming?
I'M KEEPING TO OUR AGREEMENT… YOU?
ON OUR WAY. BE RIGHT THERE.
I would first like
to talk briefly about our…
-The world is watching.
-…values.
Let's see how long he lasts alone.
About CableCash's values.
No such thing.
What was that?
Did no one teach you
not to interrupt adults?
Have you ever heard of data mining?
Ha! Nope, he definitely hasn't.
Apart from working with
very dubious customers,
CableCash also gathers sensitive data
from users.
Just imagine
if that data got into the wrong hands.
Data from thousands
of unsuspecting online customers
who don't even know
CableCash processes their payments.
But also user data
from criminal platforms…
Well, Magnus, maybe your father
was right not to believe in you.
Well, the data mining problem…
You just learned that word
from me now, didn't you?
So you think we could learn
from you people?
So you think we could learn
from you people, huh?
-Yeah!
-Oh, come on.
You people are all too lazy to work.
That hit home. Now you've got her.
It's true!
"You people?"
Who do you mean by "you people"?
-Oh, shit! Say children. Children!
-No, I mean children!
Game over, Magnus.
Fuck, what's this?
Children who hang out
on the streets and don't work.
Oh, no, no, no!
This isn't about you being an African!
Stay positive, Magnus!
Stay positive.
I'm French, Dr. Cramer! French!
MAGNUS IS BURYING CC ON LIVE TV.
Stay strong!
WHERE ARE YOU?
People, no, no, no, no!
I mean to say that
if someone has never worked
and someone else has given
their best for 30 years,
then it's ridiculous…
We're 20 minutes away
from the stock tanking entirely.
We have to get through somehow!
Is there no other way?
That didn't even occur to me!
There has to be another way, damn it!
It's blocked.
This is the only way through.
That can't be.
There has to be another way!
I have to get to Tom! It's live!
Before the stock bottoms out.
I have to calm the investors.
Oh, fuck!
I'm screwed! I'm so screwed!
I got this, Felix.
Sascha! What the fuck?!
People are trying to work here!
We interrupt our program
for breaking news.
In Geneva, there was an armed attack
on the peaceful protests
against the Global Economic Forum.
The current situation is still unclear.
The police have not reported
any victims at this time.
We do not yet have
any information on the motive
and origin of the alleged attacker.
We will keep you up to date.
Sascha! What the fuck?!
Sascha, run!
What the hell?!
Don't shoot!
Don't shoot!
Now you're at the top.
And yet it doesn't feel that way.
Just be happy!
Honestly, Felix,
no one presents real figures.
Everyone lies.
Entrepreneurs, politicians, the press.
It's not whether you lie,
but whether they believe you.
Okay, I adjusted the new customer numbers.
During the presentation
we have to make sure…
The Forum.
Awesome.
Only the really big players make it here.
Tim Cook, Jeff Bezos,
Elon.
Yes, only the really big… assholes.
-Sammy, keep your mouth shut.
-No!
Leave him.
Now, assholes or not,
what do you think
the three men I listed have in common?
Well, they all have
over a million Twitter followers.
And you have… 10,000.
With your photo
of a plate of spaghetti carbonara.
Hashtag CarboDiem.
That's great!
I mean, 10,000 followers
for a plate of spaghetti
isn't so bad at all!
What does an average user have?
A thousand, tops. Right, Steffi?
How many people follow you? Three?
111,302.
I once filmed myself trying to find
a parking spot during Karneval.
That's when my account blew up.
Unlike you, Steffi is super likable.
That helps.
What? I'm not likable?
A private jet? Even the Chinese
are coming by train this year.
-Julie Roux's gonna love hating you--
-Julie who?
The hero of my bubble.
For 50 years, the rich and powerful
have met at the Global Economic Forum.
And they claim
to be making the world a better place.
What have they achieved? Nothing!
Nothing!
Protests occurred already on day one
of the Global Economic Forum in Geneva.
Led by activist Julie Roux, thousands of
protesters marched through the city center,
but did not reach the conference.
Economics expert Tom Wieland
has first impressions from the Forum.
Here at the Global Economic Forum,
the business elite are anxious
to see CableCash's presentation.
There have been insider rumors
about fantastical growth figures.
Tomorrow we'll see
if they are really so good,
or if they are too good to be true.
As if I'm not likable!
Let's say "hello" to your bubble.
No, no, no! What are you doing?
Steffi, put that on the…
the Internet.
Then we'll see who has the bigger bubble.
Look at the global economic elite.
You could just marry one for money
instead of sniffing around here.
Don't worry, I'd rather
get in bed with you again.
If I had to decide between me and them,
I'd rather get in bed with me too.
Alright then. But that's not why
you wanted to meet here, is it?
I took a look at your folder.
And?
I could publish an article after this
that would really hurt them.
Really?
You don't know how that'd help me, really.
I'm missing a few sources,
but maybe I can go public earlier.
After the presentation
I'll show you what I have.
If the short sell doesn't work,
I'm screwed.
And not just kind of screwed.
Like how people usually mean it.
I mean, really, truly fucked.
Well, then get going.
Thanks.
I guess he is still around,
the badass Tom from before.
"Badass Tom from before"
was professor of economic journalism
'til he slept with Sheila.
You can't do anything anymore.
Now he's an economics correspondent.
But he dreams of restoring his reputation.
An article exposing the country's
greatest visionary as a fraud
would be a good start.
I'll get us out of here in three days
without the press tearing us to bits.
Bringing the whole crew in a party bus
probably wasn't the best way to do that.
No, no, no, we're not getting drunk yet.
No, people! People!
Everyone please sit down.
Unfortunately we have to work a little
before we…
…before we get going.
Hey, quiet! Quiet!
Okay, the show tomorrow
is the big kick-off.
After that, we'll fan out.
Networking! Networking! Networking!
We have to make a respectable impression.
First point.
What are CableCash's values?
Okay. So.
Test, test, test.
Is this damn thing on?
Right, and this here…
this is our headquarters.
This is where my warriors
are preparing for the great battle!
Hello to you!
Hello! Good evening, good evening.
Turn off the damn music,
I have something important to tell you.
There was once a little boy
who nobody believed in,
not even his own father.
Would that poor boy
ever have even dreamed of
flying to Geneva in a private plane
and playing with the big boys
at the Global Economic Forum?
Abso-fucking-lutely!
So, what do you want to do now?
We'll go through the entire press list
and see who could be dangerous to us.
-From our panel?
-No, at the whole Forum.
We'll be here all night.
Isn't that a bit paranoid?
No, no, no!
You, my friends,
you can all really
flood your skulls today.
And make sure that this Forum
remembers you forever!
-Cable…
-Cash!
-Cable…
-Cash!
-Cable…
-Cash! Cash! Cash!
Now, dear friends…
One more thing.
Thai Klaus!
In the word of beauty and wealth,
Klaus is satisfied
with just being wealthy.
Klaus knows people.
And he knows things.
Knowledge is power,
and Klaus knows how to use power.
He's just bringing the fondue.
Same thing with the Sachertorte in Vienna,
then Magnus was missing for two weeks.
But they made 40 million.
Felice!
Klausi! Hey!
Klausi knows the entire
Asia faction at the Forum.
He once snatched the husband
of the head of Bank of Thailand,
or the CEO's wife, I forget.
The currency crashed,
I made out like a bandit,
and they just went ahead
and banished the CEO!
Listen up, mesdames et monsieurs!
There are rules in Switzerland.
And the most important one
is the fondue rule.
If a piece of bread falls in,
the deal is…
that you have to run
through the lobby naked!
Stir it well!
Come on, boss.
Try it.
Don't let them ruin our night.
He's missing the crust,
that's the problem.
People! People!
It's happening!
Strip! Strip!
Magnus, we're not really
doing this, are we?
Of course we are.
That was my bread.
Okay, that works too.
As long as we follow the rules.
There's no need for that.
No, no, no!
Rules are rules.
Strip, and get in the lobby.
Felix!
Go on!
Sascha! Sascha!
Come on, forget it.
It's too hot in here for me anyway.
I'll do it for you.
Magnus is such a self-important asshole.
I'm out.
-Magnus, I'm going to bed.
-Felix.
If you fuck this up tomorrow,
we're finished.
Uh, you know what?
If anyone knows
how important tomorrow is, it's me.
You think I'd leave these people hanging?
They're family!
You love numbers so much.
Look, look here.
Our stock went up 20% in one day.
because investors
are so excited for tomorrow.
Klaus!
Okay, Felix, keep calm.
As long as Magnus
goes onstage with you in his ear,
you'll manage it somehow.
He's just a fucking bat costume
and you're Bruce fucking Wayne.
I have something special for you, 30%.
You wanted 30%, I'm giving you 30%.
Look at this. Get it out there.
-One hundred fifty!
-Yes!
I love you! I love you!
I still have to introduce you to Einar!
Hey Einar!
Come on over here.
This is Einar, my Icelandic oil prince!
Mon petit prince!
I'd double my investment if you tell me
about your quarterly figures.
I can tell you,
stockholders will remember
tomorrow's presentation fondly.
Skál, Mr. CableCash!
Hey, Jutta, tell me,
how many Dalmatian puppies
had to die for that?
Partying at this hour?
Isn't your show early tomorrow?
Yes. It'll be great.
I hope you don't dream about
all your haters online.
Listen, Jutta.
That is what's called a "meme"
and it creates a "buzz."
Five million followers who hate you
are still five million followers.
Now you know the deal.
And because people follow me,
which isn't so for you, dear Jutta,
I don't need to sleep.
15 MISSED CALLS
78 NEW MESSAGES
FELICE, WHERE ARE YOU?
I NEED YOU
FELIX WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH
I FEEL SICK
MISSED VIDEO CALL
Typical.
Hey, knock again.
It's starting in a few minutes.
Do it now!
-Fuck it. Go inside.
-And if he's naked?
I don't care. Go in!
Magnus?
Magnus?
I don't think he even checked in.
Keep looking until you find him, damn it!
-Wow.
-Oh!
So? Nervous?
Ah, uh… It's fine.
Good luck!
You really have to light it up.
I got the American Treasury Secretary in.
Ah!
I want a photo with him and Magnus.
Can you tell him?
Yes, we can arrange that.
Germany can do more than data protection.
Okay.
Alex! Shit, where are you?
We have a huge problem!
Then just tell me he isn't there, okay?
Fuck!
Magnus isn't coming.
Look. How long
have you known him?
With all these people
waiting to see him jerk off?
What? Who gave the sign?
No! No! Alex, stop this!
Say hello to
the CEO of CableCash!
-Shit! What do we do now?
-You have to do it.
-Me?
-You're the fucking C.O.O.!
You've got this.
Felix, calm down.
I can't do this.
Of course you can, Felix.
Because you're the real brain, Felix.
I knew that right away,
and they will too
once they hear you speak.
You're the brain.
-I'm the brain.
-You're the brain.
-I'm the brain.
-You're the brain.
Hello, Geneva!
-Where's Magnus?
-Who are you?
The agricultural fair is next week,
you farmer!
Magnus rented out a party villa.
He did what?!
There was a spectacular downswing
on the market today.
Payment provider CableCash's stock
fallen into turbulence.
More from economics expert Tom Wieland.
CEO of the hour, Magnus Cramer,
simply failed to show up for his
much anticipated debut at the GEF.
We did get to see
a fairly embarrassing appearance
by COO Felix Armand.
What the fuck?!
-I saw it. I saw it!
-What the fuck?!
Why aren't you doing anything?
Is he crashing our stock on purpose?
Do none of you care?
I'm sure he had a plan, Felix.
Alex.
-You got it?
-Yes.
CableCash is a company that relies on
the individual strengths of its employees.
Success is by no means solely… Oh, no!
Success is not dependent on
Dr. Magnus A. Cramer.
Company management distances itself
from Dr. Cramer's statements and
actions, and assures stockholders…
Stop! Wait.
Assures what?
…assures stockholders,
under Felix Armand's leadership…
What, Felix? What is this?
A press release.
-It's a dissolution contract.
-Just in case.
Are you serious?
People. We need to have
the communication ready.
The guy is nuts.
You have to understand that.
This is fucking dangerous!
If he starts a scandal because
he can't keep his stupid trap shut,
or because he doesn't show up
to present our quarterly figures,
then we have to be prepared.
Our hands are tied, people!
Okay?
We are the last bastion
against the insanity!
-Yeah, a bastion. Exactly!
-It can't go on like this!
That's right!
People.
It's not just about our jobs.
It's about all our friends' jobs.
They have families.
We have to take on responsibility, okay?
And I feel like I'm out here alone.
-You're not alone.
-We're with you!
-Are you with me?!
-Yes, Felix!
-Do you support me?
-Yes, of course!
-Let's do this together.
-Yes!
-Are you in?
-Yeah!
Yeah?
-Okay Napoleon, may I interrupt?
-Please.
"Press releases on structural changes
to the company must be approved
by the executive and supervisory boards,"
Paragraph 4(2b).
You can get Magnus to sign,
then I'll get supervisory board approval.
Then you can dream of
finally being the Caliph.
Sounds great.
Go on. Print it.
We're saving this company, okay?
Together.
Are you coming? Maybe?
What happened here?
Magnus?
Magnus.
Felice!
Magnus, the party is over.
Oh, hogwash!
It's only just getting started.
Look at this.
Ah, shit. You don't understand.
It's all going even better than expected.
I took the pulse
of the world's elite last night,
and, my God, they love me!
Everybody knows Mr. CableCash.
All I want from him
is his fucking shampoo.
Do you know how much
our stock has sunk in the last few hours?
CableCash!
Do you get it?
Just a small hiccup.
-A hiccup?
-Felix!
We can stop lying to our investors.
All they want to know is
who this Dr. Cramer is!
Because I didn't show up
the buzz about me has gotten even bigger!
Controlling the narrative, Felix.
When I'm doing well,
the stock is doing well.
I… hold this.
I…
am…
the stock!
-Uh, Klaus?
-Yeah?
Show him how I'm trending on Twitter.
Yeah?
If this keeps up, Felix.
I'll soon have more followers
than this weird eco-tramp.
You'll see.
Yes, but more followers
isn't necessarily better.
What are you trying to say?
-Huh?
-I'd like…
I'd like you to sign something
for me, okay?
You think I'm crazy?
No, I think in the interest of the…
-Because I'm insane?
-No!
But Felix, a signature
is only legally valid
if it comes from a sane person.
-Yeah…
-So I am sane?
-Yes, that…
-Why would I sign that I'm not?
It doesn't work.
Alex? That doesn't work, does it?
Give me a pen. Right…
This is a D-.
Your performance didn't meet expectations.
You'll have to redo that for me. Goodbye.
So people, what's up?
Everyone have a bathing suit?
That worked out great.
-Cable…
-Cash!
-Cable…
-Cash!
Does every family have a father
who is a huge asshole?
It was like that at my house too.
Can't be helped.
Eventually, I got sick of it
and moved out.
So either we take off
or turn into assholes ourselves.
-Okay, boss.
-No, seriously. The world loves assholes.
Egocentric narcissists
are elected president,
and they get all the prizes and attention.
And if you play by the rules,
no one even knows you exist.
Then let's not play by the rules.
But what can we do?
If I didn't always save his ass,
the world would see who Magnus really is.
I have a plan, but I need your help.
Okay.
And I need help from…
Sammy!
How good are you with Photoshop?
Put it on Twitter, Insta, Reddit
and Facebook.
No, Facebook's not cool.
As long as the whole world sees it.
And we need a good hashtag.
Come in. We don’t have much time.
All right, I got everything.
How did you…?
Google.
Get ready, Magnus.
This is war.
Orange badges are
for media representatives.
But you don't look like a media rep.
They all look the same.
And the blue badges?
Who are they for?
Blue is very good.
They're the official attendants
of heads of state.
Ah, stop it! Austria!
We can speak German.
Have you seen this? I think it's so…
-I'd like to see that.
-Right?
But my wife wanted another child,
so what was I supposed to do?
And you? This is the first time
a green badge has been interested in me.
We can ignore purple.
They're just technicians.
Pure waste of time.
Green. They're the most important.
CEOs, government officials,
leading media bosses.
Sometimes, even the Forum President.
But it won't be easy to get to him.
Maybe you can appeal to his vanity.
President for two years!
I've been president for 50 years now.
Yes, but how much longer?
I mean, I associate the Forum
with big moments.
When you tried to get
Arafat and Peres to reconcile.
Or when Gorbachev and Helmut Kohl
had a personal conversation,
here at the Forum.
What happened
to history-making moments like that?
Maybe that's a good sign.
There are fewer conflicts.
On the contrary!
Have you seen the social media fight
between activist Julie Roux
and Mr. CableCash?
It's a hot topic here at the Forum,
and you don't even give it a stage.
Maybe your husband has lost his bite.
Sadly, I have to agree with you.
KUNKELMANN TIRE SERVICE
HEY, MARCO, I NEED A "TIRE CHANGED"
Hey, Amira.
Hi.
If I didn't know better,
I'd think you were following me.
Sorry I just ran off last time.
You were just afraid
of getting shot on stage, I get it.
"Adam Smith."
Not particularly imaginative.
But green badges mean
we're the good guys, so…
At an event only bad guys are invited to.
Congratulations! Great.
A few years ago these people
would've been my biggest enemies.
He who's not a communist at 20 has
no heart. If he's still a communist at…
Brah!
Fuck! What are they doing here?
-Felix, we've been looking for you.
-Look!
We look like real businessmen, right?
We are, you tard!
New business, new name.
-Now we just need… a headquarters.
-Headquarters, yeah.
That's why we're going hunting
with the Grand Duke of Luxembourg.
Cool. Well then have fun! Bye.
Just one small thing, Felix.
We were bragging about you guys.
The asshole said we can't go
unless we bring you two.
That's not possible.
-Now I'm…
-At a meeting.
But you still owe us a favor,
on account of Visconti.
We owe you a favor?!
For getting Magnus in a fucking…
Can we do this later?
Can we exchange numbers?
-Or…
-Sure.
There you go.
Great! Then, uh…
-Have fun!
-Can I maybe get your number too?
-Ciao.
-Sorry!
You playboy!
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
You little fucker, you!
GRAND DUKE OF LUXEMBOURG
Felix, I understand
if you think I'm crazy.
-Yeah?
-Lots of the greats were accused of that.
They said Ludwig II was schizophrenic.
Scientists proved
that he had a shrunken brain.
It's often a fine line
between genius and insanity.
That's not at all what I…
You know where this insanity got us?
Or rather, this genius?
Tomorrow there's a panel
with only me and that snotty brat Roux.
Organized by the Forum president himself.
He realized that at the Forum and online
everyone is only talking about me
and that twerp.
Everyone will be there,
and it'll be streamed.
Live!
It was just announced. And look… boom!
The stock price is climbing again!
And when I'm done
with that little activist twerp
our stock's going to explode!
Yes, Magnus, you're right.
Who cares about quarterly figures?
You are the stock!
Oh, fuck!
-Shit!
-What was that?
What is this shit?
-You got him?
-Yeah, man!
Kingslayer!
Dude, I'm better than Rambo!
You idiot!
You can't just shoot like that.
-But he hit it.
-Yeah, but he only maimed it!
Now we have to look for the damn thing.
Mr. Cramer?
Mr. Cramer, come join me as forerider?
Forerider?
As foreriders, we come. Together.
The foreriders are coming.
Mr. Cramer, we don't get nervous
if prices fluctuate a bit.
That's part of it.
If the Germans no longer want you,
we always have a place for you.
Felix, dude, we already have a name.
Yeah.
Boys To Men.
-Like the boy band?
-What boy band?
It signifies how we made it,
from young jerk-offs to real businessmen.
Language, Fabian! What's with you?
I'm sure you'd be happy
with some benefits,
like Ikea or Amazon enjoy.
They're happy as clams with us.
-Hey, the critter!
-That's it?
You shot fucking Bambi!
Who will do the honors?
-Felix.
-No, I won't.
No, no, no! No, I can't do it.
"No, no, no! No, I can't do it."
Are you gay or something?
Hey! What century are you living in?
Being gay doesn't mean he's a pussy.
And what does "pussy" mean?
That someone's weaker
because he or she has a pussy?
Look at him. It's possible.
Maybe he has both.
It's cool,
I just wanted to say that loser…
Listen, you little porno dwarves!
You act like big-time businessmen
in your first communion suits,
but you have no clue about business!
You could count yourselves lucky
to have even a fraction
of Felix's strategic foresight.
Foresight?
If you're looking for two morons
who'll pay you loads of taxes,
here they are,
with the warmest recommendation.
Another thing, your barn door is open.
Felix, come on. We're going.
Assholes.
"The Hermanns merely served
the bank as a stepping stone
into the highly profitable world
of financial crime.
It'd be a lovely story if it were taking
place in Duckburg, and not Düsseldorf.
Sadly, the victim here is not
Donald Duck, but the German taxpayer."
I love it.
-See?
-So good.
Not entirely impotent yet.
-Despite the townhouse and minivan.
-Thanks.
If we get this out there
when the price is shaky anyway,
it'll be the end of them.
It's perfect.
-I love win-win deals.
-"The profit margins given
eclipse those of similar providers
from Norway by over 200 times as much.
To achieve that, CableCash would have to
process 30 million transactions a day."
Did you check that?
That's not from me.
What?
"The federal government is building…
The federal government is building upon
a foundation of pipe dreams."
-What is it?
-Oh, man! Seriously?
-Come on!
-Yeah. That's enough!
Oh, Sheila, come on.
Hey, stop touching me, man!
Come on, Sheila.
Do you know
how much work I put into that article?
I'm so ungrateful, huh?
Screw your damn article.
Come on, Sheila. That's not why I did it.
Shut up!
I'll find another mediocre journalist
to put together a few sentences.
Pretty boring dude, your Tom Wieland.
Average career, two kids,
married eleven years.
Separated briefly due to his infidelity.
That's it?
Yeah, well…
Oh! His father worked
for an insurance company
and was fired without notice.
Okay. That's no help to me.
He was fired
due to a consultant's strategy.
The consultant shut down the department.
His dad never found another job,
his wife left him,
and he drank himself to death.
Guess what the consultant's name was.
No clue.
I have no time for guessing games.
Dr. Magnus…
-Aurel…
-No!
-Yes!
-No!
…Cramer.
Magnus Cramer, yes.
What do I owe you?
First time's free.
May I come in briefly?
-Absolutely not.
-Wait.
I want to announce a press release
on your program tomorrow.
-Have a nice evening.
-Wait!
I know you're not interested in CableCash.
You're after Cramer.
And I know why.
If you think you can get rid of me
with money, you're mistaken.
No, no, no.
I don't want to get rid of you.
I want to help you get rid of Magnus.
Okay?
But trying to get him via CableCash
won't work, because CableCash…
The business is stable. It's clean.
But suppose Magnus were to undo himself
tomorrow at the panel.
He embarrasses himself live
in front of the world's economic elite.
As far as I know, he always
has you in his ear to watch out for him.
But what if he doesn't?
What if I can't be with him tomorrow
because I'm with you.
Reading a press release live
that calms investors and…
You want to distance yourself from Cramer
and make yourself CEO?
You backstabbing snake.
You can call me Felix.
Why are you so sure I won't just
publish all of this in an article?
Because then I'll reveal the real reason
you're smearing CableCash.
Your editorial office will learn about
Magnus and your daddy.
I'm a bit of a journalist myself.
Have a nice evening.
♪ Corner office, assistant too ♪
♪ More driven than me and you ♪
♪ He is the chief executive ♪
♪ A visionary, so attractive ♪
♪ In short, a man who fascinates ♪
♪ His brand new teeth like shining blades ♪
HEY FELICE, I'M GLAD I'LL HAVE YOU
IN MY EAR AGAIN TOMORROW.
On the last day of the Global
Economic Forum in Geneva,
the most important topics of
global economics will be discussed.
The focus today is on ethics
in the digital space.
Prominent guests of the GEF
arrive on time for the main event.
The panel with activist Julie Roux and
Dr. Magnus Cramer, CEO of CableCash,
who, after a short downtrend, can
be delighted at a dazzling stock price.
The appearance of activist Roux
is fueling protests in the city center.
The police are expecting
further riots there.
Special forces are in place to guarantee
the security of the forum.
Without negative energy,
nothing bad can happen.
Voicemail.
You could just say you ate something bad.
She's a little girl.
I can manage without Felix in my ear.
Come here, if I get stuck out there
just say something to me.
Sure thing.
Without negative energy,
nothing bad can happen.
Why isn't he coming?
I'M KEEPING TO OUR AGREEMENT… YOU?
ON OUR WAY. BE RIGHT THERE.
I would first like
to talk briefly about our…
-The world is watching.
-…values.
Let's see how long he lasts alone.
About CableCash's values.
No such thing.
What was that?
Did no one teach you
not to interrupt adults?
Have you ever heard of data mining?
Ha! Nope, he definitely hasn't.
Apart from working with
very dubious customers,
CableCash also gathers sensitive data
from users.
Just imagine
if that data got into the wrong hands.
Data from thousands
of unsuspecting online customers
who don't even know
CableCash processes their payments.
But also user data
from criminal platforms…
Well, Magnus, maybe your father
was right not to believe in you.
Well, the data mining problem…
You just learned that word
from me now, didn't you?
So you think we could learn
from you people?
So you think we could learn
from you people, huh?
-Yeah!
-Oh, come on.
You people are all too lazy to work.
That hit home. Now you've got her.
It's true!
"You people?"
Who do you mean by "you people"?
-Oh, shit! Say children. Children!
-No, I mean children!
Game over, Magnus.
Fuck, what's this?
Children who hang out
on the streets and don't work.
Oh, no, no, no!
This isn't about you being an African!
Stay positive, Magnus!
Stay positive.
I'm French, Dr. Cramer! French!
MAGNUS IS BURYING CC ON LIVE TV.
Stay strong!
WHERE ARE YOU?
People, no, no, no, no!
I mean to say that
if someone has never worked
and someone else has given
their best for 30 years,
then it's ridiculous…
We're 20 minutes away
from the stock tanking entirely.
We have to get through somehow!
Is there no other way?
That didn't even occur to me!
There has to be another way, damn it!
It's blocked.
This is the only way through.
That can't be.
There has to be another way!
I have to get to Tom! It's live!
Before the stock bottoms out.
I have to calm the investors.
Oh, fuck!
I'm screwed! I'm so screwed!
I got this, Felix.
Sascha! What the fuck?!
People are trying to work here!
We interrupt our program
for breaking news.
In Geneva, there was an armed attack
on the peaceful protests
against the Global Economic Forum.
The current situation is still unclear.
The police have not reported
any victims at this time.
We do not yet have
any information on the motive
and origin of the alleged attacker.
We will keep you up to date.
Sascha! What the fuck?!
Sascha, run!
What the hell?!
Don't shoot!
Don't shoot!