King of Stonks (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Episode #1.4 - full transcript

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A NETFLIX SERIES

Terrible scenes of violence,
not far from the center of power.

These are the pictures from this year's forum
that will stay with us.

Pictures of complete chaos
caused by an employee of CableCash Inc.,

whose volatile share prices are
causing concern amongst investors.

We are now joined by Magnus Cramer,
the CEO of CableCash.

Good evening, Mr. Cramer.

Hello, Ms. Brückner.

Yes, well, if you can call it
a good evening.

-Indeed. How do you explain the violence--

Really, the saddest day
in our company's glorious history.



But sorrow and euphoria
are often closely related.

We were just celebrating
breathtaking revenues.

30 percent growth
in our first quarter, and then...

then we see images like those.

Still, investor confidence seems
to be unwavering.

-Can you be glad in a situation like this?
-Honestly, Ms. Brückner...

This money is utterly irrelevant.
I mean, what is this?

You journalists always talk about our figures,
about 300 million

-Well, Mr. Cramer--
-What matters is that no one was injured.

And that we can help that poor, clearly
mentally ill woman find her way.

Of course, I--

We have to create awareness
for these stories.

Not everyone has it as good as us.

Bam!



Eight minutes! Report plus interview.

Bam! Bam! Bam!

Even the guy who flew his plane
into the Alps didn't get that.

Just ignore him.

All anyone heard is:

-"CableCash 30 percent!"
-Okay, boss.

And boom the share price goes up again!

Hey, Felice!

Felice! Felice! Felice!

Did you see? Your gunslinger made sure
everyone remembers us.

-We're celebrating.
-Great. I have private business.

Oh, no, no, no!

We have to get our system in order first.

-The system?
-Since we got back from Geneva,

I've had the feeling,

someone here is disturbing
the energy flow.

It's got to be Lückenroth again!

-Shut your mouth.
-Sorry.

Oh, yes. Yes.

Thank you, my dear colleague.
Thanks for your service.

The memories you're leaving behind...

Our journey together has been most lovely,

but it ends here.

Magnus, really?

Tell your child soldier
we don't need wackos.

Get her out of here. Now.

Right, people! Let's continue.

Thai-Klaus came up with a way for us

to take the CableCash spirit
to the next level.

Right, now let's take this company
to the top!

Presents! Presents!

Presents, presents, presents!

Check it out! This is our...

This is our new Spirit Animal!

This is Falco.
He inspires us to always fly higher.

We only ever descend to snap up prey.

Hey, Felice...

Set up a meeting with Klaus.

He hooked us up
with some Asian contacts in Geneva.

It's a good opportunity to expand there.

Klaus.
Klaus hooked us up with Asian contacts?

Yeah.

Magnus, you know things working out
in Geneva was pure chance, right?

We were within an inch of going belly up.

And you want Klaus making
important strategic decisions?

I'll be doing that,
just like I've done before

and will do in the future.

I won't hand over the rudder
in the middle of the storm.

Oh! Someone bathed in testosterone today!

Aye-aye, captain!
It was just a suggestion.

If you don't need help, do it alone.

Right, Steffi, come on.
Let's get some really nice pics.

One after the other...

You're supposed to get us together,
not just the bird! Are you stupid?

Does that mean I'm out of a job now?

Sascha, I don't have a driver's license.

How the fuck am I supposed to get Sammy home?

I need you now.

Thanks, boss.

I owe you one.

But stay away from the office.

And no more weapons!

No more weapons!

Fucking Tom!
What does he want?

No one cares about Magnus's
fucking appearance at the Forum.

I have another outfit with me.
Maybe this is a bit much.

Since we're going to your parents'
I thought maybe I need something a bit...

Sascha, my parents aren't interested
in what people wear.

Felix, I just want to talk.

Did you bribe the witness?
Or how did she get out?

What do you want?

We can still get rid of Cramer.

Go on ahead.

Felix,

I see what's going on.

You don't want Cramer gone
because he's an asshole,

but because
half your customers don't exist.

And the more he publicly boasts
about your incredible growth,

the more pressure you have to deliver.

That's why you're running away from me.

You don't have to run faster than the tiger.

Just faster than the guy you're on safari with.

If you blow the whistle,

I'll make sure the article
only goes after Cramer.

Sure, and the company
I spent ten years building.

But it's not your company anymore.

A guy like Cramer
wants yes-men around him.

He has no use for you.

I'm writing the article anyway.

By the end of the month
CableCash will be history.

Either you sink with it.

Or you jump in the lifeboat.

Take a look.

I'll give you a week.

So this is your life's work.

420 pages of numbers, none
of which you can back up. Fuck.

Ah, cool.

I always wanted to be on a plane
with the woman who just shot at me.

I didn't shoot at you.

Just riling them up, right.

If you hadn't gone all Che Guevara
your arm would be fine.

Che Guevara had thousands
of political foes

rounded up and put in labor camps,
don't compare me to him!

If anyone then you're Che Guevara.

I did nothing, but still get sent to
Grandma's as punishment.

I'd take the death penalty.

Your mom's incompetence
doesn't make me your father, ok?

Buckle up and shut it!
I've really got bigger problems right now.

Are your parents really that bad?

-Hi, Mom.
-Felix!

Well?

You look pale. Are you all right?

Sascha Renzel. I'm Felix's assistant.

-He's really a great boss.
-Nice.

Lovely.

Sammy! Sammy!

Welcome home!

-What happened to your arm?
-Skating.

Oh! And how about yours?

Also skating.

Salzburg plates?

Hello, Dad. Rental car.

You flew by private jet again?

Great!

Ruining the world in style.

Heard anything from Magda?

No, but...

It's just that Magda...
She just needs a bit of time.

Hm.

Okay.
Nice to see you, but we've got to go.

Come in first!

We hardly ever see each other.

I made chili sin carne especially for you.

We have lots to do,
but we can stay an hour.

Awesome! I love ground beef.

Julian had such a sweet idea.

We went hiking in Bad Gastein.

And we camped out, like we used to.

-Imagine!
-Sounds nice.

Dad and I with the whole troop,
for a whole week.

Wow. Great of Julian.

It was really simple and lovely.

Look, Felix. Homemade. Totally analog.

Is that the jackpot
for emptying the schnapps?

Oh, no! That's the big jar.

We put all our earnings in there
and we pay for everything from it.

Food, holidays.

Repairs.
And if someone needs some money,

they can just take it.

So that it's clear you're taking from others.

It creates a sense of community.

Julian has one at home now too.

Once when our Felix had just turned 16,

he emptied the big jar

to buy Melanie a brand new bicycle

because he thought
she'd go out with him then.

And? Did it work?

Nope. She fell off the bike and died.

Felix!

She's married to Julian now.

Felix had to work the entire summer
to fill up the jar again.

It was worth a try.
It could've worked.

Then you'd have two sons with Melanie.

Yeah, instead I'm just
COO of a publicly traded company.

Yes, at a company

where one of the employees pulls a gun
and shoots at people.

-I mean, Julian told us.
-We don't have a TV.

Anyway, to capitalists
people are just labor force.

Right? A commodity like any other

that a capitalist can buy,

use, exploit and have at his disposal,

like an animal trained only for growth!

-Because he only...
-Rudi!

Where is Julian anyway?

He was so happy
to hear his brother was coming.

Our payment systems serve people
who wouldn't otherwise have bank accounts.

It's completely--

We haven't even told him the big news!

-Or did you tell him, Rudolf?
-No.

-What?
-We have a woodpecker.

Ah! Now he's flown off.

A woodpecker?

It's really a shame you can't stay longer,

or I'm sure you'd have seen it.

A little time off would be
perfect for you right now, Felix.

-Yes, you look tired.
-Sascha, we're leaving.

Felix, please!

-Don't be so aggressive.
-Felix!

-You know what?
-Look. He's upset again.

For your woodpecker.

And for the bike as well.

-Something for the community.
-Felix, stop that!

Very nice to meet you.

I won't apologize for the fact
that no one expected me to be born.

-No one ever said that.
-I won't be treated like this.

Out there in the real world,
I am somebody.

I'm somebody! And I'm needed,
and there's no one else like me.

It'll heal.

That's good.

-Julian!
-Felix!

Hey, Julian.

Well?

Come here!

Unfortunately we have to go.

-Sorry.
-But...

But Mom said you were staying longer.
I even brought my guitar.

No. God!

No, no time.
Sascha!

-It was nice to meet you.
-We have to go. Sorry.

-Nice to meet you.
-That was the lady from TV.

Ah!

What was wrong?

-Julian!
-Well, money can't buy happiness.

Sammy! Hey!
We can play a bit of Scrabble again.

That's a nice idea.

Stop!

Did you know, Che Guevara once said,

"It is better to die standing
than to live on your knees?"

Huh? Don’t get it.

If you are convinced of something,
you should fight for it.

Cool!

-Felix!
-Tom, I looked at your documents.

-Hello Mr. Armand
-You've got nothing.

I know you journalists love
writing companies into the ground.

Great story. Fraud, duping investors,
a bank for criminals.

But your file is nothing more
than 420 pages of lies.

-And I'll prove it.
-Felix, it's--

We're holding a press conference next week,
and you're invited.

Then you'll see that I'm right.

Then you'll never hear from me again.

I'm not your pal, or your useful idiot
for some personal vendetta.

The offer stands.

I'm the COO of the biggest
fucking fintech company in Europe!

This structure isn't right.

Lückenroth!

Triple-check that.

You're the auditor, right?

-Yes.
-Just who I need!

People are doubting us out there.

We need a special audit
of the quarterly report.

For this quarter? No, not a chance.

Not who I need after all.

I'll find someone who can do it.

Hold on!

If I start right away, I'll manage it.

But I want Schulz
to assist me with the copying.

Deal. Schulz, you're copying.

-Are you serious?
-Yes.

Steeler Consulting is one of the four biggest
accounting firms in the world.

They audit all the big boys on the market.

Their stamp makes it clear:
your balances are clean,

and investors can trust you.

Steeler Consulting doesn't only
look for bookkeeping errors,

they also advise companies
on how to avoid such errors.

The same companies that they later audit
in search of bookkeeping errors.

According to Steeler,
this is a win-win situation.

It provides more authentic insight into a company
which allows them to examine it better.

Critics say one hand washes the other

after having first jerked it off.

Anyway. The bottom line is,

for any audit, the submitted documents
need to be plausible.

Put a bunch of provisions
and appendices at the end.

It has to look like
a real acquisition agreement

that we've been working on for a year.

It's best if it's done by tomorrow.

What are we buying, exactly?

A company in Asia, for 300 million.

Or rather, we've already bought it.

I'd know if we bought a company
for 300 million.

We're not really buying it.

Ahh!

I see. It should just look that way.

"CableCash, 30 percent."

Look, we buy cheap, backdate the contract
and have Lückenroth sign off on it.

A Steeler approved special audit
will give us peace.

Do you think he'll rubber-stamp it?

He wants to join the family.

You want Thai-Klaus to get you
a rich, shady businessman in Asia

who you can screw over.

No. Over my dead body. I have my own
rich, shady businessman in Asia.

Amira Wallace?

-Better put, his daughter.
-Felix.

Organize a video call with her father.

It has to look really official.

And, Alex...

Not a word to Klaus.

If I prove to Magnus
I can do it alone, he's gone.

-Asia is my region.
-All right. I'll do that.

Felix. I see what's going on here.

If Klaus starts deciding things here,
we're all unemployed in four weeks.

...one of the most dazzling figures
we have in Europe,

...the CEO of CableCash,
Magnus Cramer.

His company, CableCash,
recently had a successful IPO.

-Hello, Grandma!
-Aunt Sheila!

Hello, little mouse!

Oh! But you weigh
as much as an elephant!

No, you're as heavy as an elephant!

And now...

look what Aunt Sheila bought you.

Whoa!

-His arm is as big as your head.
-Let's lift him up.

-Hi! I'm happy to see you too.
-Didn't we say no more expensive gifts?

Come on.

I can afford it, it's fine.

-She's so happy.
-Are you rich, Aunt Sheila?

At the moment I am, I'd say.

And why are you rich?

I'm like Robin Hood.
I take money from the rich.

But I don't give it to the poor,
I buy gifts for cute seven-year-old girls.

-Okay.
-Okay.

Easy! Where's Mom? Hi!

-Mom!
-Oh, honey!

Hey, Sheila!

Robin Hood without giving to the poor
is just a robber, and that's not a job.

Right. Ada!

I have to take the bear back.
Your mom thinks money sucks.

Could you stop fighting?
It's annoying.

-Rick, say something!
-We're not fighting.

Do you have to fight like that all the time?

-It's her birthday.
-For a second, could you just...

Yes?

Hello, this is Alex Ericsson
from CableCash.

Hello.

I'd like to arrange a call as soon as possible
with your father to discuss investments.

Yes, of course. With my father?

He's on a video call
with the Thai ambassador.

-Maybe in about an hour?
-That'd be great.

I'm here in his office in London anyway.

Okay, people, the winner
gets a bonus.

And his choice of company car...

...and on top of that there's also
a raise.

Pull! Pull!

Pull! Pull!

-Hi.
-Oh!

-Hi.
-Nice to see you.

Likewise. I wasn't expecting you.

Yes. I thought I'd say hi quick.

I did my hair in a bun especially for you.

Yeah, like a cinnamon bun.

Yeah.

I went to the barber yesterday too.
What do you think?

No cinnamon bun there.
Should I take that personally?

No. I don't have that much to play with.

But I doubt you called to make me laugh.

No, I wanted to discuss business
with your father.

-It's about our expansion into Asia.
-Ah, yes. His meeting is going on a bit longer.

But I do have full authority
and decision-making power,

so we can discuss
what you wanted to discuss with him.

And I'm game for anything. So let's go!

Felix?

It's important I discuss it with your father.

Besides, the whole Asia expansion idea
isn't that far along.

I have to discuss it
with several departments.

You can tell me,
even if it's not official.

Really, my father is Nigerian
doing business in Asia.

Dangerous place to do business.

You have to know the right people,
or it can quickly turn nasty.

You know what I mean.

-Have I said something wrong?
-Oh, no.

Not at all.

We're about to publish
our quarterly figures.

But that's routine stuff, right?

This time it's a special audit
by Steeler consulting.

Oh, wow.

-Special audit?
-Yes.

We have journalists
breathing down our necks, watching us.

We're having
a press conference on Monday.

Oh, I'm sure that won't be
a problem for you.

CableCash is in good hands.

If Klaus starts deciding things here,
we're all unemployed in four weeks.

Make an appointment with Klaus.
He hooked us up with contacts in Asia.

Hmm?

Hey, um...

-I have an important meeting.
-But we're right in the middle of this.

When this is over
I'll treat you to dinner.

Is that an order or a question?

You decide.

-Then this weekend.
-It'd be better...

after the quarterly report thing is over.

Sure.

-Yeah.
-All right.

Just get in touch.
Message me about when.

-And about Asia, just let me know.
-Will do.

Then we can discuss that further, and--

Bye.

Magnus?

Magnus!

I was meditating.

Oh, okay.

About the Asian business...

Everything okay?

-Huh?
-Are you okay?

Did you know Leonardo da Vinci slept
15 minutes every four hours

to stay creative.

Wow!

Wow, wow, wow! Cool.

I reconsidered the thing with Klaus.
You were right, he's a great guy.

I'd love to work with him.

Yeah, good. Okay.

Okay.

Nowhere's better to relax than
at a family party.

Considering that you want to rob that guy,
he seemed pretty nice.

-Didn't go so well for you, did it?
-It's fine.

Why do you always act
as if everything's fine?

I can tell something's
off with you.

What's off with me?

You've been super tense all day.
And...

You're really into that guy.

Which guy?

"Is that a question or an order?"

I'm not getting involved with him,
I'm betting against his company.

Don't bet against it?

And go eat with him.

There won't be a meeting.

After the quarter wraps up
he'll be in jail.

And I don't really like the food there.

Sheila, I'm tired
of your excuses.

It's pretty simple.
If they pass the audit tomorrow

I get my five million euros.

Geneviève, they're not
getting through this special audit.

It's an independent auditor,
he's under pressure from his company

and the investors,
probably even the judiciary.

I don't want to hear this shit.
I just want my money.

Just put some champagne
on ice, yeah?

And tomorrow we'll watch CableCash
go up in flames together.

No, no, Sheila!

Yes?

You are the auditor
from Steeler Consulting, correct?

Yes.

Fantastic. Müller,
Office of the Public Prosecutor of Munich.

One moment.

What can I do for you?

You were hired to do a special audit
of CableCash's quarterly report.

That's right.

I assume this isn't
some kind of wishy-washy audit.

The kind companies have done
to placate the press and investors.

Of course. As always, I'll do my job
thoroughly and conscientiously--

You can't be too careful
with high-flying companies.

You're liable, after all. It's better to do
this kind of thing with collaborators.

You don't want to carry that risk
on your own.

No.

Of course not.

Good. Have a nice evening.

Have a nice evening.

I have all the data here, and Magnus,

since the shooting in Geneva,
your number of followers

has gone up by 23 percent!

Look. Even this late night show
mentioned us.

This has more than half a million clicks.

And the comments section is on fire.

Look at that.

Get me this year's quarterly reports,
three copies of everything.

Bank statements, receipts,
supporting documents, everything.

And what's really nice about this is,

ever more young investors
are interested in CableCash.

Yes!

I still don't see how buying
a worthless company will help us.

LÜCKI JOINING THE FAMILY?

Why do something like that?

It's like this. Your sneakers...

Basically just
a few grams of plastic, right?

The material doesn't even cost two euros.

What did you pay?

Hundred twenty.

Exactly. That's capitalism.

An item's value depends on
how much one is willing to pay for it.

A pair of Balenciagas
costs five times that.

Exactly, but it's just worthless plastic
with a label printed on it.

That's what we'll do now too.

Thai-Klaus got us
a plastic company in Bangkok.

It's worth two million.

Tikksystems, they're in communications.

A dump of a company.

And we can buy them,
as soon as possible.

Watch the road.

Relax, dude. We'll get there.

For the quarterly figures
we need a company

worth at least 300 million.

That's why a middleman
is buying the company, not us.

His grandpa developed a caffeine serum.

He sold it to an Austrian
toothpaste salesman.

The family still gets 50 percent
of the revenue, without having to work.

He's the last person to need money,

but he'll still do anything for a commission.

He buys Tikksystems
for a measly two million

and sells it to us for much more.

Much, much more.

To be exact, we transfer 300 million to him.

The money from our investors.

That gets us an account receipt.

He gets a commission
of ten million for it all

And the remaining 290 million
gradually wanders back into our account,

piece by piece.

Feasible revenue figures

from our extremely lucrative company,
Tikksystems in Bangkok.

Awesome idea, boss!

And then we have to cover our tracks.

What do you mean?

Calm down, Felix.
You're doing the right thing.

This deal is saving CableCash's ass.

The fewer people
to know about it, the better.

And maybe Tom was right about one thing.

You don't have to run
faster than the tiger.

Just faster than the guy
you're on safari with.

Ah! Where were you?

Did you finally pull
the stick out of your ass?

No, you know what?

I think you're really great.

I like you.

With all the responsibility you have,
I think you're a very good COO.

What with the sale just around the corner,

slapping such a big
intangible asset cost on top. Genius!

I always thought you didn't like me.

You know? But our trip...

this kicks ass, right?

Way up there.

You know what?

The first thing I'll tell Magnus

is that you can take on responsibility.

-What?
-Yeah, I'm not needed here. Magnus has you.

Because you've got vision.

When we get back, I'm moving on.
Klausi's more useful elsewhere.

-Are you serious?
-Of course!

But this is so spicy
I gotta have a smoke.

Want one?

How about we smoke outside?
Klaus, come on.

-No, there's a balcony in there.
-But that...

-What is it?
-Let's go outside quick.

-We can just...
-I just want to smoke.

We can take it with us.

What's up with you?

What? Why? What do you want?

That's not mine! What is this?

No, you can't do this!

Stop! Stop!

What is this?

Felix, was this you?

Are you serious?

Hey, let me go!
What is this shit?

I believed in you!

What did I do to you?
Felix, you asshole!

You'll pay for this!

It was only a few grams.

He’ll be out in five years at most.

DEATH PENALTY: DRUG POSSESSION IN THAILAND

Well, it would have happened
to him eventually.

ALEX: HEY ALL GOOD?
LÜCKENROTH IS LOSING IT.

Here it is. It got held up in admin.

And maybe open the windows.

There are no windows in here.

Oh, sorry.

We're looking again today at CableCash.

After a spectacular rollercoaster ride
its stock has recovered.

However, the rumor mill keeps churning

and we will see whether CableCash
can end its shaky run.

Management has commissioned
a special audit of its quarterly report.

TAKEOVER AGREEMENTS,
PLAUSIBLE SALES FIGURES

Lückenroth, you've seen everything
you wanted to see.

You can leave it at that.

Market analysts and investors

are going to get the answers
they've been longing for.

The most pressing question:
can CableCash

confirm its fantastic growth forecast?

Economics expert Tom Wieland
is on the scene.

The quarterly report is about
to be announced here.

If the special auditors have OK'd it.

If you ask me, I doubt it.

I have one thing to say about this.

Don't do anything stupid.
I bought your stock last week.

Hello! Are you coming? It's about to start.

Honestly, if you don't pass the audit
the bank is coming for our studio.

Everything okay?

-Where's Lückenroth?
-He's just in the bathroom.

-He's nervous.
-Why is he nervous?

-Where were you?
-You okay?

-I'm here.
-We can start?

Let's go then.

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

As a newly listed company

we have decided to have an interim audit
of our quarterly figures.

It seems our expansion into Asia
is difficult for some to comprehend.

Believe me, despite these opinions,

CableCash has a bright future ahead of it.

Auditor Rene Lückenroth
from Steeler Consulting

went through our books with a fine-toothed comb

and will now share the results.
Please, Mr. Lückenroth.

Thank you, Dr. Cramer.

Hello, ladies and gentlemen.

The special audit
of CableCash's quarterly report has shown

that, in line with the prime standard,
all requisite evidence...

has been provided. Thank you.

Mr. Lückenroth!

Lückenroth!

Lückenroth! Lückenroth!

People! People!

People! Turn the damn music off.

I'd like to thank someone else,

without whom CableCash
wouldn't be where it is,

and who knows that
we're more than just a company.

Even an extremely awesome one.

We are a family.

My friend...

Felix Armand!

Get over here!

The best! The best!

Felix! Felix!

I knew you wouldn't manage alone.

You'll have to try harder than that
to get rid of Klaus.

-Yes!
-Family!

Because I know what this means to Felix,

and because he wants
his family to share in this,

I'd like to say that he had support.

And that man has the heart of a hero

and the vision of a fucking falcon.

And that's why I'm happy to tell you

that he signed
a three-year contract today.

Welcome our new
Head of International Strategy,

Klaus Mackmann!

...eliminated all doubts
about the company's success...

HI, FELIX, ABOUT TONIGHT,
UNFORTUNATELY IT'S NOT GOING TO

STILL UP FOR TONIGHT?
OR TOO TIRED FROM PARTYING...

But don't just bail again today.

I just won't go to the bathroom again,
then nothing can go wrong.

-I promise.
-Ah, lovely!

-Hey!
-I'll get you two a table.

-Who is that?
-That's Mike Silver.

It's his place.

-Crazy dude.
-Is that his real name?

No, of course no-- well,

with this guy you never really know.
He's a real player.

In 2012,
he bet against his native country.

He made big money
when Greece defaulted.

Now Greeks don't like him much.

He has an eye for losers.

He does that thing on the market
where you bet on falling prices.

Short selling.

GameStop.

-Yes. Yeah!
-Since GameStop everyone knows about it.

Anyway, now he can't trade for two months

because he colluded with journalists.

And that is, of course, illegal.

Yes, short sellers

aren't too well-liked
because we stick our finger in the wound.

No, you're not well-liked
because you only win when others lose.

That's why people hate you.

It's all in the mind.

If you bet on a winner
then someone also has to lose.

So take good care of Felix.
Yamas.

Have a nice evening.

Thanks.

Nice guy.

-Wow!
-Bon appétit!

-Thank you.
-Thanks.

Awesome!

Some days only bloodshed helps.

Did you have a crappy day too?

I really fucked up.

-Professionally?
-Mm-hmm.

I was so sure about something,

then today, I found out I was totally wrong.

I need a new start.

Fake my death, go into hiding,
something like that.

Yeah.

But your father is your boss.
You'll find a solution.

Yes, but my father and I...
It's difficult.

Ah, yes. Hm.

My father doesn't understand what I do.
Actually, I don't think he wants to.

Since Steeler gave you prime status
he'll at least be a little proud of you.

Okay. You have no idea.

Bring it on.

When it said in the paper
that we were going public,

my father called me

to tell me my brother got
a new rain barrel.

Suck on that.

And your brother has a job
the neighbors think is great?

-One that kids can draw?
-He's a--

Wait! Fireman.

Teacher.

But fireman!

-Very close.
-Same type of thing.

-Actually, yes. Well...
-Yeah.

Teachers just have
the less sexy calendar.

-Drink?
-Definitely.

-Mm-hmm.
-What'll we drink to?

To a new start.

-A new start.
-Yeah.

It was a cool night.

I thought so too. Totally.

What else are you doing tonight?

I was thinking I'd kiss you now.

Uh, coo...

-Cool.
-Cool?

Yeah.

-Felix?
-Hm?

Hold on.
Do you maybe have another playlist?

Uh... Yeah.

Thank God!

Tea?

-Um... No thanks.
-All right.

Hi.

Felix.

I have to tell you something.

Oh my God! You're not a Nigerian princess.

This was just spam sex
to get to my money.

Hey, it's all right.

I'll be broke soon too.

What do you mean?

I'm quitting.

Why?

I'm just sick of helping my boss
lie to the entire world.

What were you going to say?