Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil (2010–2012): Season 2, Episode 27 - Brad's Diary/Sew What - full transcript

Kick finds Brad's diary and debates whether or not to read it.

♪ Kick, kick, kick, kick, kick

♪ kick buttowski, buttowski

♪ kick

♪ kick

♪ kick buttowski

♪ kick, kick, kick

♪ kick buttowski

♪ kick, kick, kick, kick

♪ kick

♪ kick

♪ kick buttowski

♪ kick buttowski! ♪


Pilot to co-pilot.
What are my coordinates?

Bogey at 11 o'clock.

I've got him in my sights.
And he's going down.

Rolling left.

Stabilizing. Target in range.

Kick, they're closing!

Target locked. (sensors beeping)

Fire! Target neutralized!

But, kick!
We've been hit! Eject!


This thing is pretty
awesome, huh, kick?

This whole place is awesome! Finally,
after years of saturdays searching,

We found mellowbrook's
airplane graveyard.

And to find an x-15!

Too bad there's no fuel!
I'd power this bad boy up right now!

You go on with your bad self!

I wish i had 10,000
cans of cheetah chug!

Then i'd pour 'em down
this thing's throat!

And then i'd launch it
into the sky like a rocket!


Brilliant idea!

And luckily i've been saving a secret
stash for exactly this type of emergency.

Secret stash?

Okay, but where are you
gonna get the money?

Hey, you kids! There's no trespassing here!
Can't you kids read?

That's gibberish.

And it translates to "scram."

This place is gonna be
demolished in the morning.

Both: Demolished?

That's right, dude bros!

I clear out everything to make
room for rowdy's big kabobs.

We sell every kind of kabob!

It's going to be
giant, my friend!

Gunther! We've gotta get that
money and fly this jet out of here

Before it gets demolished.

Giant, my friend!

Kick, do you really have enough money
for 10,000 cans of cheetah chug?

Yup! And i've hid my secret stash where
no one would ever think to find it!

Yeah, brad!
Taking the dillweed's secret stash!

Oh. Hey, dillweed!
Didn't expect to see you here.

In my own room? Nope!

Well i didn't expect to see you
going through my personal stuff!

Get out of my secret stash!

what are you gonna do about it?

This! Bring it!

Oh no. Oh no, no, no.
I can't watch!

(fists pounding)

Yeah, brad! Yeah, brad!
Yeah, brad!

Whoa, there, boys.
What is going on up here?

Brad broke in to my room. But!

And went through my
personal things! But!

And stole my secret stash!
He's saying stuff!


I've had it with you two!
I've tried, nay, pleaded,

Time and time again to
get you two to behave.

And time and time
again, i have failed.

Now you leave me no choice
but to enforce brotherly law.

Both: Brotherly law?

That's right.

When sibling disputes
between brothers can't

be settled civilly
amongst themselves,

A third party, that's me,

Must intervene
and restore order.

And by signing this contract,
you shall both agree, henceforth,

To keep out of each
other's personal property.

I don't think so, dad.

Thanks, but no thanks.

(playing baroque music)

Once signed,
this law must never be broken.

For if it is, the governing
body, that's me,

Will enact a punishment so
severe, so horrific,

It cannot be spoken out loud!

So, let's just stay out of
each other's personal property

And we'll never have to find out.

Whatever. See you fart
faces in the funny pages!

Well, that's settled.

Well, not exactly.
Brad still has all your money.


We're back where we started.

We've gotta get my money
back from brad, but how?

Brad: Dear diary...

Diary? Diary?

Brad: Dear, sweet diary,
full of secrets...

Secrets? Secrets?

Brad: Today, after working very,
very hard, i finally earned enough money

To buy the thing that will
make my life complete.

I confide in you the
whereabouts of my secret stash

And pray that no one ever discovers
that i've hidden it in the...

Oh, darn. My pen broke.

Looks like i'll have to go to
the store and get a new one.

Stay safe while i'm gone, diary.


(gasps) are we gonna play bingo?

I came prepared!

No, gunther. We're gonna
get that diary and find out

Where brad's been
hiding my money.

(cheetah growling)

Both: Yeah!

So, let's do this.

I don't know, kick.

Hmm. Now, where would brad hide his...
There it is!

Now, let's open this
bad boy and see.

Kick, wait!

What is it?
Reading brad's diary would be wrong!

Oh, for cryin' out loud!
He took my money!

And this could solve everything!

Did you forget the
brotherly law already?

Brotherly law or
not, brad's a jerk!

Besides, did you forget that
awesome fantasy sequence already?

Good point.

But how are you gonna
open up that lock?

Brad: Dillweed! Brad?

Whatcha got over there?


Hmm. I just wanted to tell you
that signing the brotherly law

Has really made me see
the error of my ways.

In fact, i've decided to give you
back all the money i took from you.

So, here's your money back.

How thoughtful of you.

Well, i certainly know you
wouldn't break the brotherly law.

See you later, bro.

Wow, i guess brad
really is a changed man.

(sighs) you were right all
along, gunther.

I should have kept out of brad's personal
property like the brotherly law said.

now that we got the money back,

Let's go buy the cheetah
chug to fuel up that jet!

I can't, gunther. First i have to
sneak that diary back into brad's room.

that idea's out the window.

What do you mean, gunther?

I mean brad's diary is
literally out the window.

Oskar! Oskar!

Gunther, skateboard!

Both: Yeah!

Both: Biscuits!

Kick! I can't keep up!


Now, to get you home!


Uh... Brad! What are you...

I'm just buying a pen so i can
write in my... Uh... I mean...

Personal connect the dots book.

See you at home, little brother!

(panting) whoo! What did i miss?

Gunther, i've got to get
this diary back home.

Brad's going to be
there any minute!

Well, good luck
catching up to him now.

You'd need a rocket to
not only beat the bus,

But to get that diary into
the house before he sees it!

Careful with that
stuff, there, hank!

That cheetah chug xxe
has been discontinued.

It packs the power of 10,000
cans of the regular cheetah chug!

Sounds powerful and dangerous.

What if kids get a hold of it?

Nobody's gonna find it if we
just leave it in this field.

(cheetah growling)

We better get in
before it takes...

(both screaming)

(cheetah growling)

Well that wasn't too bad!

Yeah! It's like something
ultra-soft broke our fall.

(whimpering) (both gasp)

Miss chicarelli: Oskar!

Precious, where are you?

At last,
brotherly law is restored!

Dillweed! How could you!

Oh, father, kick has betrayed the
brotherly law. Why, kick? Why?


But, dad, i can explain!

No, kick!
I'll do the explaining!

You broke the brotherly law,
and now you face the punishment.

You boneheads!
That diary was a fake!

I used it to lure kick into
taking it so i could find out

What dad's punishment would be.

I've been following you dopes around
all day to catch you in the act.

And to cap it all off, i switched
kick's secret stash with brad bucks

And used the real
money to buy that!

A rare and valuable
tankini lumberjacks poster.

There's only one like
it in the whole world.

Now, beat it!
I've got ogling to do!

(laughing) whoo-hoo! (sighs)

Dad: I warned you, kick.

Kick: No, please!
Anything but that!

Dillweed gets punished while
the brad gets off scot-free

And scopes his new
tankini poster.

The only thing that
makes my life complete.

(jet approaching) huh?


Brad: (screaming) no!

Ow! Oh!

Hold still, son!

Ouch! Why, i oughtta!

So, this was the punishment that
couldn't be spoken out loud?

Look, kick, i know you wouldn't
go through brad's personal things.

I know you really want
brad to stay out of yours.

Scaring him is the only way i
can see to put an end to it.

So, we gotta make this sound convincing.
Now keep banging!

Ouch! Ooh!

And that's exactly how it's gonna happen
when i launch off this ramp tomorrow.

a reason to wear this outfit!

People said i was crazy to build
a ramp out of icey pop sticks.

Others said you were a genius.

Kick, your grandma will
be here any second.

I can hardly wait
to see her again.

Hey, that's nice!

So i can hit her in the
face with these pies!

Hey, that's not nice!

A pie in the face? Pfft.
That's not even a prank.

You've gotta do a lot better
than that to prank grandma.

Which is why i've got an
even better prank planned.

Hey, none of this is nice!

Grandma rosie is
the queen of pranks!

If you get her,
she always gets you back.

Sounds like foreshadowing to me.

Here she comes!


She's almost here.

Hi, mom! I got you a present!

A pie for your face!

Uh... Where is she?

Harold. (gasps)

I've told you a thousand times.
Pie in the face is not a prank.

Who threw that pie?

Dad: Ah! (footsteps fleeing)

(door slamming)

Hiya, grandson.

Nice hat, safari guy.

Well, once again,
i pranked your father.

And once again, my father has
wrongfully pied another senior citizen.

No pie-ing is wrongful!

Well, the stuff i wanna show you
is too exciting for dad anyway.

Let me guess. We're gonna
start with this amazing ramp

Made of icey pop sticks.

Oh, that? It's an old stunt.

I don't do that stuff anymore.

What? Kick buttowski
doesn't do stunts?

I guess i just grew out of it.

Yeah. I grew out of it.

(groans) ah!
I can't stop winking!

I can't stop winking!

And here we are
at the sloth farm.

Aren't sloths amazing?

They climb up the
tree, then down.

Up the tree, then down.

And the best part?
They do it all slowly.

They sure do.

Ninety-eight, 99,

One hundred! One hundred boxes!

I don't know if i can
handle any more excitement.

Well that was dry.
Even for a drywall museum.

Don't forget! Drywall should
not be confused with sheetrock!

Wow, i guess you really weren't
kidding about that ramp.

Is the tour over yet?

If "over" means "not
over," then yes.

Oh, no. I'm done.

No more drywall museums and
sloths and watching paint dry.

What happened to you, kiddo?

You used to do awesome stunts
and be totally extreme.

And live till it hurts!

Now you're hanging
out in box factories?

It's offensive!
And i won't stand for it!

(laughing) i got you!

You were pranking me?

Did you really think i
liked all this stuff?

I should have known!

After all, you are still
wearing a jumpsuit and helmet.

Huh. I don't believe you got me!

Well, savor the flavor, kiddo,
'cause it won't happen again!

And of course,
i'm obligated to prank you back.

(chuckling) sure, grandma.
Bring it on.

But don't you worry.
My pranks never do bodily harm.

Hey, grandma. Still waiting on
that awesome prank you promised.

(laughs) what are you looking
at, dillweed?

No bodily harm, huh?

Mmm! There are exceptions.

Who threw that pie?

It's still not a prank, harold!

So, this ramp is yours.
How does it work?

I launch off there,
gain speed through the loop,

Gain speed, gain speed,
and fly through the air like an eagle.

An eagle, huh?
Reminds me of my favorite show.

Jock wilder's birds of prey!
Birds of prey!

You watch it too?
You watch it too?

Both: We're saying the same
thing at the same time!

Let's go watch the show
together and eat some popcorn!

And drink some lemonade!

Rubber buggy baby bumpers!

Why can't we stop?

Ah! Why can't i stop?

These birds of prey
are unrelenting.

Watch this guy dive for
this little critter.

Now, careful.
These eagles like to go for the eyes.

Me eyes! (both laughing)

Pain is hilarious!

(eagle screeches)

That's just how i'm gonna do
it during the stunt tomorrow!

(with australian accent) you're gonna be
unleashed, unbridled, and unrelenting!


Wow, grandma,
that's really good!

(door opens)

(footsteps fleeing)

(door slams)

Still not a prank!

Oh, what's this?

Not falling for that
one, grandma.

No, your jumpsuit!
You ripped it!

It's no big deal.
I wear these out all the time.

Hmm. Interesting.

Well, i've got some
things to take care of.

Hey, grandma, you wanna maybe
come watch my stunt tomorrow?

Hmm. I just don't know.
I've got a bingo game,

And the mail sorting tour starts at
two, then my nap.

Then i've got to pick
up some adult diapers.

Then more bingo.

Of course i wanna watch your stunt! It'll
make my day! Heck-fire, it'll make my year!

See you in the morning!

I will still need the adult
diapers, though.

Grandma: Dear kiddo. I stayed up
all night making you a new jumpsuit.

I got inspired by (in australian
accent) the birds of prey unleashed!

You should read that
part in an accent.

Not that part.
Just the other part.

Anyway, i made this just for
you, and can't wait

To see you wear it
during your stunt today!

Love, grandma rosie.

This has gotta be her prank.

Holy funky chicken meatballs!

This has got to be her prank.

That's what i said.

You said "holy funky
chicken meatballs"?

That's terrible.
I've never seen an uglier jumpsuit.

And i've been to philadelphia.

Grandma's way too cool to
make something like this.

It's a prank for sure.

And it's time i bust her chops.

Careful with her chops, kick!
She's old!

Stop. Stop. Stop!


I just can't wait
for kick's stunt.

Oh, mom, you need your rest!

Nah, i got enough rest
at the drywall museum.

You went without me?

Oh, i really have to see
kick's screaming eagle stunt.

Especially since he'll be
wearing the jumpsuit i made him.

It isn't a prank.

He's gonna be the coolest
bird of prey around.



Oh, maybe i should
rest for a bit.

After all, who knows.

I may not be around for
many more of his stunts.

Harold, that's inappropriate.
And still not a prank.

I'm gonna be the laughingstock
of the whole neighborhood!

It could be worse. You could be forced
to wear a terrible jumpsuit i made.

I just have to go out
there and get it over with.

Uh, are you sure about that?

It's like i said last easter. Don't set up
a mile-high ramp unless you want a crowd.

And this town laughs
at its laughingstocks.

True. But if i don't wear it,
i'll break grandma's heart.

Laughingstock or not,
i have to do this.

Hey, everybody, look!
It's chick buttowski!



Oh, kick! Gotcha!
That suit is a...


Gunther: (on pa) kick
buttowski is about to undertake

The mile-high screaming eagle stunt
while wearing a compromising jumpsuit.

Sorry, kick.

Kick! I'm too late!

Wow! Silly chicken suit or
not, that kid is awesome!

Man 1: He lived?

Man 2: Well, that's unfortunate.
Man 3: Boring!

The dillweed actually did it?

I can't make fun of that!
Well, i never!

Wow, that was fantastic, kiddo!

You weren't supposed to actually
wear that ridiculous suit!

Yeah, it was pretty...
Wait, what?


You seriously think i'd actually
make something like that?

It's terrible!

I just wanted to see you sweat.


We got you so good!

You knew? Of course i did!

And i managed to pull off
a little prank of my own.

I've searched my soul. I've read all
the books. I've become one with nature.

And i've finally figured out the difference
between a prank and a pie in the face.

And i just don't care!

Chicarelli! Duck!

No, you don't understand!
I was aiming at my mother!

You haven't seen the last of me!

Not a prank! But it's funny!

Some people never
know when to quit.

Yeah. I got you and you got me.

So that makes us even
stephen even stephen.

You deserve a pat on the back!

Right back at you.
(eagle screeches)

Hey, look!