Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil (2010–2012): Season 2, Episode 26 - Say Cheese/Pinch Sitter - full transcript

Kick, Brad and Brianna ruin Mom's favorite photo and must replace it.

♪ Kick, kick, kick, kick, kick

♪ kick buttowski, buttowski

♪ kick

♪ kick

♪ kick buttowski

♪ kick, kick, kick

♪ kick buttowski

♪ kick, kick, kick, kick

♪ kick

♪ kick

♪ kick buttowski

♪ kick buttowski! ♪

(animalistic screeching)

All: (gasping) mom's
favorite picture!

I got it! No, i do!

Quit hogging the saving!

All: No!

Aw, biscuits.
It's shattered to bits!

Just the frame,

But the photo looks
like it's okay.

Hey! Get your greasy
paws off of it!

Get your greasy
face away from it!

Aw, biscuits. Aw, biscuits what?

What's this? (gasps)

My favorite picture.
But where is the picture?

My favorite...

My favorite... (choking)

My favorite...

For years i tried to get one decent
photo with all three of you in.

Just one!

And now it's ruined.

All: They did it! (whistling)

Hey, dear! Que pasa?



Which one of you
upset your mother?

All: They did it!

Well, i know that one
of you did something

And you better fix it!

When she's upset like
this she won't cook.

And tonight's meatloaf night!

You guys fix what you did

And i'll salvage meatloaf night!


Well, you heard dad!

We've got to take another photo
to replace that one, pronto!

(scoffs) team up with you two?

The brad doesn't
work with dillweeds.

Or dillweedettes.

Face it, kick.
It's not happening.

Whenever we do stuff together,
it always becomes a competition.

What? Does not! Does too!

You stink! You stink!

You stink,
and you stink at analyzing my...

Guys! Guys! We have to get along!
And we can.

Look, i don't wanna do
this any more than you.

But we have to get
a new photo for mom.

You stink at making us feel guilty
about getting a new pic for mom!

I was gonna say that!

So you stink for taking
what i was gonna say!

You stink! You stink!

You stink! You stink!

Stop! It's about mom!

She's gonna be a wreck until
we get that new picture.

Now let's get to the photo
place and get that pic.

For mom!

For mom! Okay.

I'll make sure we get to
the photo place fast enough.

I'll make sure we
look presentable.

And i'll impress the babes with
my glistening abs of brad-meat!


Yeah, brad-meat!



All right. For mom!

For mom! For mom!

For mom! For mom!

For mom! For mom!

For mom! For mom!

For mom! For mom!

This is gonna be a lot of work.

You can do this, harold.
For the meatloaf!

Well, hello there, dear.

Whatcha watching?

I have a gift for you.
Just for being so lovely.


Flowers, for my love!



Who doesn't love a nice
flossing, huh?

In some cultures it's
considered very romantic!

And let's keep those pearly
whites their whitest!

This is gonna be
harder than i thought.

Well, i look stunning as usual.

Let's see how you two look.

(exclaims) you're
not wearing that!

But this is what i always wear.


Brad, is that barbecue sauce?

Yeah, ribs!

You're filthy!
I look brad-tastic!

You're a mess!
You're completely unpresentable!

Oh, yeah?
Well, it's not your birthday!

You never get me
presents anyway!

Guys! Come on!

Obviously i look the best.

Ooh! Hot! Hot!

Okay. Let's try this again.

Oh, no! The photo place
closes in 15 minutes!

That last fight
really set us back!

Nice job, dillweed!
You too, dillweedette!

Whatever, shrillweed!

Guys, don't get distracted!

We gotta hurry before they close.
Now let's go!

I know a shortcut!

I know a different shortcut!
This way!

Well, i know one better
than the both of yours!

(all clamoring)

Where the heck are we?

Great, dillweed!
Too bad this bus is going the wrong way!


But that one isn't.

Hey, my belt!

Hold on!

(all screaming)

The 4:50 downtown.

Right on time.

Mirror mirror oh, so sweet,

Who's most likely
to cook some meat...


Why, you are, dear!

My darling,
your face is like that of an angel.

Your eyes are like
sparkling pools.

Your lips are like red roses.

Rising up to greet
the morning sun,

Sharing your beauty
with the world.

Starting with your
delicious meatloaf!


Kick: Well, here we are at last.

And with one minute to spare.

We're closing one
minute early today.

(all yelling)

Wait, you can't go!

We have to have our
photo taken for our mom!

She's not amused.

Bri, bat your eyelashes. Quick!

I've got this.

Oh, miss photo lady.

Yeah, you there.

Can you please open the big
bad door for little ol' me?

Pretty pretty pretty please?


She's not human!

Stand back.
It's my time to shine.

The brad knows babes.
Photo babe.

Get ready for some grade
a stud muffin action.


Yeah, brad-meat!

No! Make it stop!

Make it stop! I'm gonna be sick!

Fine, i'll take your photo.

Just stop doing that!

Abs of brad-meat.
Gets them every time!

Here we are, my dear.

And now it's time to
make meatloaf together.

Just like our counselor said.

So go ahead and do all the
kitchen-y things you do so well,

And i'll be right
here ready to help.

Perhaps i'll get things started.

Kitchen-y things
coming right up.

Now if i were meatloaf
what would be in me?

Here we go. Egg, good.

And of course, meat.

And who could forget the...

Darling, you startled me.

Let's just put the
ingredients over here

And off your face, like so.

Now let's get loafing.

That's it. Very good. Oh, yeah.

That's the ticket.

Honey, we should make
meatloaf more often.

(exclaims) now that's
an odd looking meatloaf.

Which i can't wait to eat.

Now, in you go.

I'll just turn a random
knob all the way up.

Well, that wasn't so hard.

(oven dings)

Oh! We should probably call
the fire department now.

Okay, one photo.

Just one. Now smile.

Or don't. I don't care.

We did it. The buttowski
siblings actually got along!

When we work together,
we're unstoppable!

Ready? In three...

Now smile nice like me.

The best smiler.

Uh, yeah.
My smile is pretty awesome.


Mine is the best.

No way, mine is!

My face lights a scene
like a warm summer's morn!

Yeah, right!


I look terrible.

Should we even give her this?

I mean, you guys look bad

But this is the worst
i've ever looked.

Come on. It's pretty
obvious i look the worst!

Yeah, looking the worst!

(all shouting)

Hey! Where's the photo?

I... I... (all gasping)

I... Mom!

I... We're sorry, mom.
We're sorry.

We're sorry that we've ruined
your favorite picture of us.

We tried as hard as we could
to have a new picture taken.

But it's horrible.

We did everything we could to
work together to get a new one.

Will you ever forgive us?

I love it!

All: You do?

That old picture
wasn't you anyway.

You obviously worked
together to get this,

And that's what's special to me.

I'll always cherish this.

All: I love you, mom!

I love her more!
I love her more!

I love her most, you idiots!

(chuckles) i love you guys, too.

Dinner is served.

Honey, you sure look like
you're feeling better.

I have the most wonderful
family in the world.

And the most wonderful
family deserves

The most wonderful meatloaf.


My favorite picture
of you and me!

It was one of a kind!

Now it's ruined!


Hi, mrs. Buttowski!


I mean, biscuits.

(grunts) kick,
where is your brother?

He's supposed to
be watching you!


Oh, yeah! Cut that wood!

Bradley elizabeth buttowski,
you are in big trouble!

But my middle's
name's not elizabeth!

Oh, it is now. I'm that angry!

Letting your brother
destroy the cul-de-sac!

But mother, i... Can it, lizzie!

I gave you a chance
to be in charge.

It's clear i can't trust
you two to be alone.

Not my fault he won't
stay locked in the closet.

Don't forget, ma,
he let me destroy the cul-de-sac!

Oh, yeah? Yeah!

Not my fault!
You're the problem!

Don't blame me!

But you've burned through
every babysitter in town!

They always seem to flee.

Ah, ousting babysitters.

The one time we get along.

(hard rock playing)


Oh, come on!


Hmm? (chuckles)

The buttowski brothers
always get their babysitter.

And always will.

(record scratches)


While you were flashbacking,
i found a solution.

An unconventional solution.

i have no other options,


What? A little kid's
gonna be in charge of me?

Her resume is quite impressive

And her references are as
impeccable as her grades.

Sorry, mom, but no way.

Uh-uh! Uh-uh! Quiet!

You brought this on yourselves.

We're off to the teeny
tiny gold digger pageant.

Be back at 6:00.

You have a great time now!

Don't you worry about the boys.

I'll take care of them.

You have no power over me.

Or me. You're shorter,
you're younger...

I'm two weeks older than kick

And a decade more
mature than you.

Well, duh!

But you will never control
the buttowski brothers.

Leave now or suffer
the consequences.

Yeah right! I've been
waiting for this opportunity.

Once the neighborhood
knows i can handle you two,

I'll be the queen
of the babysitters!

And this job comes
so easily to me,

I can do it in my sleep,
while multi tasking.



I wish i could do
algebra in my sleep.

I wish i could spell algebra.

My rules are simple.

No stunts, no leaving the house,

And no fun whatsoever.

(shouting) do you understand?

Oh, i understand.


My wheels! But how?

I told you i'm good.

(chuckles) dillweed!

Now the brad's
gonna watch some...

What? Scrambled?
That's not fair!

In case you two get
any other bright ideas,

I've already flattened
the tires on kick's bike,

Confiscated brad's
tankini magazines.

(screams) no!

And grounded your wingman.


Ooh, tankini mags!

Aw, there's no light in here.

Now, are you ready to obey me?

I said, are you ready to obey?

Yes, miss kendall.

Now, go to your room!

How is she doing this?
It's unreal.

She's always one
step ahead of us.

She's unstoppable!
We're doomed, i tells ya! Doomed!

Snap out of it, man!

Are we pantsy and mouth? No!

Are we michael anthony and
anthony michael dipazzi? No!

We're the buttowski brothers!
And buttowskis don't give up!

You're right, dillweed.

Time to pull out some of the
buttowski brothers classics!

That means i'll get the
battlesnax fish heads.

I'll get the
exploding ink traps.

Both: Yeah, buttowski brothers!

Lunch is served.

(exclaims in disgust)

Snack time.

Dinner is served.

Wow, it's hopeless!

We'll never defeat kendall!

No, brad, the buttowski
brothers never give up.

We have to step up our game.

Time to bring out the big guns.

We're gonna take her down.

Hello, boys.

Hello, miss kendall. Kendall.

I see two guys who could
use a little less mallet,

And a little more
juice boxie-woxies.

Yes, miss kendall.

We can get our own
juice boxie-woxies.

Obviously, i'm way ahead of you.

You think you're the first siblings
to get rid of their babysitters?

I did the same thing
with my older sister.

Battlesnax fish heads?

Pfft. Amateur hour!

We used year-old food
'n' fix hot dogs.

(both gasping)

Shh! Don't let her
know you're impressed.

Brad? Year-old hot dogs. Got it.

And then? Brad!

I know all your tricks.

The perkins sisters were the best
babysitter ousters there ever were!

In fact,
it was the only time we got along.

Then one day,
we didn't oust our babysitter.

The perkins sisters failed.

And things were never the
same between me and my sister.

My point is,
there's nothing you can do to beat me.


So, who's ready to
make soap sculptures?

Ooh! Soap scul... No!

The buttowski brothers do
not do soap sculptures!

And the buttowski brothers do
not drink juice boxie-woxies.

And we do not give up!

Bye, miss kendall.


Okay, brad, we're getting
rid of her once and for all!

Yeah, brad!

Brothers. Both of us.

Sorry. Yeah, us!

Especially brad.

Whatever happens,
we can't let her defeat us.

Okay, you distract kendall by

Pretending to be interested
in soap sculptures,

And i'll break out of
the house and hide.

"Ooh, look at these
awesome soap sculptures!

"They're so calmingly awesome."

(clears throat) i
mean, "wow, kendall.

"Tell me more about these
super-lame soap things.

"That i secretly love."

Anyway, so when mom gets home
and sees that i'm gone...

(mimicking mom)
"hey, where's kick?"

She'll fire kendall

And then you can "find" me...

i found my long lost brother."

Proving how responsible you are.

Yeah, toy brad!

Then it's back to
the status quo.

Yeah, brad-us quo!

Phase one complete. Now for...

Nice try, clarence.

And that's why i'm queen
of the babysitters.

Kendall? How did you know?

(chuckling nervously)

I told you there was nothing
you could do to beat me.


Brad, what happened?
We had the perfect plan

To maintain our perfect record!

She knows the code to unscramble
the tankini lumberjack channel.

She deciphered it with her
algebra when she took that nap.

Wish i could do algebra.

Enjoy your show, brad.
I'm proud of you.

I'll take that juice boxie-woxie
now, miss kendall.

What's the magic word?

Please! Good boy.

You've destroyed every sitter who's
ever entered your little snake pit.

And as i've proven
over and over,

I will not let you ruin
my babysitter empire.

So you better get used
to soap sculptures

'cause i promised your mom

The house would be spotless
and perfect when she returned.

Okay, if you insist.


♪ Soap snowboard ♪

What do you think you're doing?

Trashing the house
before mom gets home!

And there's nothing
you can do to stop me!

Move! Miss dutch elm is making
her own clocks out of a tree!

(gasps) clean? But how?

It's the only craft where
the mess cleans itself up!

(laughing wickedly)


(gasps) it's mom!


It kills me to say this,

But you really are the
queen of babysitters.

And now i know how you and
your sister must have felt.

We didn't oust our babysitter.

Buttowski brothers failed.

Things will never be the
same with me and my brother.

Oh, dillweed. It's all my fault!

If i wasn't so weak,
if i hadn't caved,

We'd still have
a perfect record!

No babysitter could say she
bested the buttowski brothers.

Oh, but you did cave, brad.

Our sibling bond was never
broken by any babysitter.

And now the one thing that brought
us together as brothers is gone!

Not if i can help it!

(both gasping)

What on earth?

Kendall perkins,
you were supposed to

Keep these boys under control!

I'm sorry, mrs. Buttowski.
I let you down.

I thought i could handle them.

(sighs) so did i.

Maybe in a few years
when you're older.

Looks like i'll have to
give brad a second chance.

Thank you, mother.
I shan't let you down.

Kendall, you saved us!

I know what it's like to lose the one
thing you share with your sibling.

I couldn't let that
happen to you and brad.

I don't know what to say.

Don't say anything!
I gave you this one.

So i still consider it a win.

And i will still be the queen
of babysitting. Yeah, kendall!

You were right!
She fell for the cry-baby act

Hook, line and emotional sinker.

Wait. What? That was all an act?

Kendall, you messed with
the buttowski brothers.

And together we always
get our babysitter.


Yeah, buttowski brothers!

Especially brad!

And dillweed.

Gunther: Hello?

Is anybody out there?