Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil (2010–2012): Season 1, Episode 4 - Knocked Out/Not Without My Cereal - full transcript
♪♪ [theme]
♪ kick, kick ♪
♪ kick, kick, kick ♪
♪ kick buttowski ♪
♪ kick ♪
♪ kick ♪
♪ kick buttowski ♪
♪ kick, kick ♪
♪ kick, kick ♪
♪ kick buttowski ♪
♪ kick, kick ♪
♪ kick, kick ♪
♪ kick ♪
♪ kick ♪
♪ kick buttowski ♪
♪ kick buttowski ♪
[crash]
Determination.
Sweat.
Launching mechanism.
Huh?
Kick! Oh, my gosh. Are you okay?
[lisping] swell,
just catching up on some television.
Oh.
Hey, mellowbrook,
do you have talent? Yes.
Are you ready to share
it with the world? Yes.
Well, the world's
most talented talents
Is looking for new acts,
And we're coming to
your town this friday.
Friday. Friday.
Are you going on that show?
I'm not just going on that show.
I'm gonna win that show.
By doing the greatest jump ever.
Uh, what are you
thinking about jumping?
Please not me. Please not me.
Please not me.
I'm gonna jump a
nuclear reactor.
Oh, thank goodness.
But this doesn't even look
like a nuclear reactor, kick.
The science is all wrong.
Details.
This is a chance
to show the world
What kick buttowski
is all about.
Self inflicted pain?
That and this show
could launch my career.
When awesome calls,
a daredevil answers the phone.
I didn't even hear it ring.
She'll be set up and waiting for
you at the tv studio, fellas.
We did it, kick,
and only 20 minutes to spare.
The only thing left
to do is suit up.
All right.
Kick, you okay?
[shrieks]
Wake up, kick, wake up.
[bawls]
[farts]
[farts]
Don't worry, kick.
You're my friend
And friends take
care of friends.
Especially knocked-out ones.
Wait, what was i doing again?
Wade, help.
Kick won't wake up.
[groans]
Yep, been there, bro.
I tried everything.
Cold shower. Hot shower.
Even the alpenhorn.
[blows note]
Nothing.
He's supposed to
audition in 12 minutes.
What do i do?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
It's all good, my man.
The wade knows just what
do in situations like this.
[toilet flushes]
Now what?
It's time for the
"pedo del diablo."
Prepare.
A hot dog?
Hang on, bro.
Oh, i think i'm gonna be sick.
Time to up the ante.
[cheetah snarls]
[wade] cheetah chug xe.
The xe stands for
xtreme emergency.
[alarm wails]
This stuff will put
a pep in your step
And hair on your chest.
[cheetah snarls]
Showtime.
Wade, you rock.
Oh, come on.
Quick. We need more chug xe.
That was the wade's last
can, little man.
We're running out of time.
What about danger dude?
I'll think of
something on the way.
Uh...
♪ kick buttowski ♪
Kick buttowski.
Where's kick buttowski?
Uh, right here knocked out.
Fantastic. He's up next.
Mellowbrook city dancers.
Where are my mellowbrook
city dancers?
Showtime.
Okay, kick.
Feel free to wake up anytime now.
Please.
Get ahold of yourself, gunther.
Awesome called,
and what kind of a friend would you be
If you didn't take a message?
Come on, peeps.
How about another hand
For arden langley,
butter juggler?
[cheering and applause]
Ooh, slippery fingers.
Now, let's give a world's
most talented talents welcome
To mellowbrook's
own kick buttowski.
[cheering and applause]
Ladies and gentlemen,
I, kick buttowski,
Shall attempt to jump the
nuclear reactor of doom.
I will slide down this ramp
Over the bubbly reactor
filled with toxic waste
And, uh, land on the other side.
Safely.
And not get mad at my
dear friend gunther
Who knocked me out.
But not on purpose, i'm sure.
Okay,
here i am getting on my bike.
And now i'm off.
[screams]
Kick!
[exhales]
Ladies and gentlemen,
it's showtime.
Yes.
Aw, biscuits.
Aah!
[screams]
Tonight it's the world's
most talented talents
Awesome crash edition.
Uh, kick, there's something
i should tell you.
You won't believe the fun
When a pint-sized
daredevil from mellowbrook
Smashes into a nuclear reactor.
Is that me?
I might have accidentally, uh...
[screams]
That's me.
I'm so, so sorry.
That's me on tv.
Crashing, smashing,
causing complete and utter mayhem.
And you made it happen.
You're a true friend, gunther.
Really? Really.
Yeah.
Aah!
[kids laughing]
Hey, you rats,
no running in my store.
And keep your grubby little
mitts off of the produce.
I'm tired of cleaning
up after all you kids.
[crying]
♪♪ [humming]
Buttowski.
[brianna] i want a little more of that.
And, oh, i need that.
Oh, this, too. This is on sale.
Oh, i want these.
I want one of these.
I want one of that.
I want two...
no, three of these.
I want this one.
I want this.
I want, i want, i want.
All you ever say is...
[gasps]
I want, i want, i want,
i want, i want, i want.
Very dangerous crunch?
Monster truck marshmallows,
crack-tooth crunch,
A stump in every bite.
Makes its own gravy?
I don't know.
It's the last box.
I'll do anything for them.
All right,
i'll get you the cereal...
Yes!
If you stay in line
And watch brianna while i get
the last few things on my list.
And be good.
I mean it, young man.
You cause any trouble,
and there is no cereal for you.
Deal.
You can count on me.
Stay right here. No trouble.
And i'll watch...
[brianna giggles]
Looking for this?
Brianna.
Biscuits.
I'm not playing this
game, brianna.
Can't catch me.
I am not chasing you, brianna.
No cereal for you.
[giggles]
Dillweed.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
[giggles]
Gotcha.
Gotcha.
[giggles]
I run a clean store,
and i aim to keep it clean.
You understand?
But i didn't do anything.
Yet.
I'll try to keep that in mind.
Just watch yourself, buttowski,
Because i am watching you.
Hi-ya!
Watching you.
[whistling]
Oh, look. Stupid colored balls.
I think i'll take this one.
No.
No!
What the...
That's it. Banned for life.
Come here, you.
Clean up on aisle 6.
Clean up checkout.
Aah.
Aah, ow.
Aah.
Aah!
Clean up on aisle 4.
Give me one.
Cereal, here i come.
Aah!
Biscuits.
Literally.
[giggles]
All right, this ends now.
For billy. For stumps.
For cereal.
Gotcha,
you grubby little monkey.
Listen, grocery man.
I got no beef with you.
I just want the cereal.
Time to clean up your act.
[laughs]
I'll teach you to
mess up my store.
Ooh.
I'll thank you to kindly
keep your hands off my buns.
Eagle eye, eagle eye,
it's shelf-stocker, five-niner.
Do you copy?
[man] yes, i can hear you, glen.
We've got a bratty
bogey in a white jumper.
I need a fix on his position.
Aisle 7.
I've got him now.
Ooh, aisle 8. Wow.
Where now? Where now?
Aisle 9.
Where's the target?
I've lost him.
Where is he?
He's right over your head, glen.
Brianna.
Stop right there.
Ooh, well,
aren't you the cutest?
Yep, pretty much.
Can i go for a ride?
Ooh, of course, brianna.
Huh?
You're mine now.
Whoa.
There's nowhere to go.
Follow that cart.
Okay.
Why are you chasing me?
I do not know.
[grunts]
He's...
Everywhere.
Faster.
I'm giving her all she's got!
Give me back my cereal.
Got to catch me first.
Whoa!
Stop right there.
Aah, aah, aah.
Clean up in seafood.
Gotcha.
Nice try, sis. I got my cereal.
All is right with the world.
Gotcha!
Look what you've
done to my store.
I haven't done anything.
I think it's about
time to teach you
Some grocery store etiquette.
Hey, no one threatens
my brother but me.
Hmm, all of this running
around has made me hungry.
You wouldn't dare.
Oh, wouldn't i?
No!
Solid, sis.
Mom's headed to the checkout.
Time to fly.
Faster!
Hi, kids. Sorry it took so long.
Why, kick, it's looks like
you earned your cereal.
Yes.
No, your rotten little kids
are nothing but trouble.
They destroyed my store.
They destroyed your store?
Yes, just look at it.
I think your bowtie's
a little tight.
Not enough air and you
start seeing things.
Come on, kids. Let's get moving.
Hey, glen, see you next week.
Glen, pick up on local, please.
We need to talk.
♪ kick, kick ♪
♪ kick, kick, kick ♪
♪ kick buttowski ♪
♪ kick ♪
♪ kick ♪
♪ kick buttowski ♪
♪ kick, kick ♪
♪ kick, kick ♪
♪ kick buttowski ♪
♪ kick, kick ♪
♪ kick, kick ♪
♪ kick ♪
♪ kick ♪
♪ kick buttowski ♪
♪ kick buttowski ♪
[crash]
Determination.
Sweat.
Launching mechanism.
Huh?
Kick! Oh, my gosh. Are you okay?
[lisping] swell,
just catching up on some television.
Oh.
Hey, mellowbrook,
do you have talent? Yes.
Are you ready to share
it with the world? Yes.
Well, the world's
most talented talents
Is looking for new acts,
And we're coming to
your town this friday.
Friday. Friday.
Are you going on that show?
I'm not just going on that show.
I'm gonna win that show.
By doing the greatest jump ever.
Uh, what are you
thinking about jumping?
Please not me. Please not me.
Please not me.
I'm gonna jump a
nuclear reactor.
Oh, thank goodness.
But this doesn't even look
like a nuclear reactor, kick.
The science is all wrong.
Details.
This is a chance
to show the world
What kick buttowski
is all about.
Self inflicted pain?
That and this show
could launch my career.
When awesome calls,
a daredevil answers the phone.
I didn't even hear it ring.
She'll be set up and waiting for
you at the tv studio, fellas.
We did it, kick,
and only 20 minutes to spare.
The only thing left
to do is suit up.
All right.
Kick, you okay?
[shrieks]
Wake up, kick, wake up.
[bawls]
[farts]
[farts]
Don't worry, kick.
You're my friend
And friends take
care of friends.
Especially knocked-out ones.
Wait, what was i doing again?
Wade, help.
Kick won't wake up.
[groans]
Yep, been there, bro.
I tried everything.
Cold shower. Hot shower.
Even the alpenhorn.
[blows note]
Nothing.
He's supposed to
audition in 12 minutes.
What do i do?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
It's all good, my man.
The wade knows just what
do in situations like this.
[toilet flushes]
Now what?
It's time for the
"pedo del diablo."
Prepare.
A hot dog?
Hang on, bro.
Oh, i think i'm gonna be sick.
Time to up the ante.
[cheetah snarls]
[wade] cheetah chug xe.
The xe stands for
xtreme emergency.
[alarm wails]
This stuff will put
a pep in your step
And hair on your chest.
[cheetah snarls]
Showtime.
Wade, you rock.
Oh, come on.
Quick. We need more chug xe.
That was the wade's last
can, little man.
We're running out of time.
What about danger dude?
I'll think of
something on the way.
Uh...
♪ kick buttowski ♪
Kick buttowski.
Where's kick buttowski?
Uh, right here knocked out.
Fantastic. He's up next.
Mellowbrook city dancers.
Where are my mellowbrook
city dancers?
Showtime.
Okay, kick.
Feel free to wake up anytime now.
Please.
Get ahold of yourself, gunther.
Awesome called,
and what kind of a friend would you be
If you didn't take a message?
Come on, peeps.
How about another hand
For arden langley,
butter juggler?
[cheering and applause]
Ooh, slippery fingers.
Now, let's give a world's
most talented talents welcome
To mellowbrook's
own kick buttowski.
[cheering and applause]
Ladies and gentlemen,
I, kick buttowski,
Shall attempt to jump the
nuclear reactor of doom.
I will slide down this ramp
Over the bubbly reactor
filled with toxic waste
And, uh, land on the other side.
Safely.
And not get mad at my
dear friend gunther
Who knocked me out.
But not on purpose, i'm sure.
Okay,
here i am getting on my bike.
And now i'm off.
[screams]
Kick!
[exhales]
Ladies and gentlemen,
it's showtime.
Yes.
Aw, biscuits.
Aah!
[screams]
Tonight it's the world's
most talented talents
Awesome crash edition.
Uh, kick, there's something
i should tell you.
You won't believe the fun
When a pint-sized
daredevil from mellowbrook
Smashes into a nuclear reactor.
Is that me?
I might have accidentally, uh...
[screams]
That's me.
I'm so, so sorry.
That's me on tv.
Crashing, smashing,
causing complete and utter mayhem.
And you made it happen.
You're a true friend, gunther.
Really? Really.
Yeah.
Aah!
[kids laughing]
Hey, you rats,
no running in my store.
And keep your grubby little
mitts off of the produce.
I'm tired of cleaning
up after all you kids.
[crying]
♪♪ [humming]
Buttowski.
[brianna] i want a little more of that.
And, oh, i need that.
Oh, this, too. This is on sale.
Oh, i want these.
I want one of these.
I want one of that.
I want two...
no, three of these.
I want this one.
I want this.
I want, i want, i want.
All you ever say is...
[gasps]
I want, i want, i want,
i want, i want, i want.
Very dangerous crunch?
Monster truck marshmallows,
crack-tooth crunch,
A stump in every bite.
Makes its own gravy?
I don't know.
It's the last box.
I'll do anything for them.
All right,
i'll get you the cereal...
Yes!
If you stay in line
And watch brianna while i get
the last few things on my list.
And be good.
I mean it, young man.
You cause any trouble,
and there is no cereal for you.
Deal.
You can count on me.
Stay right here. No trouble.
And i'll watch...
[brianna giggles]
Looking for this?
Brianna.
Biscuits.
I'm not playing this
game, brianna.
Can't catch me.
I am not chasing you, brianna.
No cereal for you.
[giggles]
Dillweed.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
[giggles]
Gotcha.
Gotcha.
[giggles]
I run a clean store,
and i aim to keep it clean.
You understand?
But i didn't do anything.
Yet.
I'll try to keep that in mind.
Just watch yourself, buttowski,
Because i am watching you.
Hi-ya!
Watching you.
[whistling]
Oh, look. Stupid colored balls.
I think i'll take this one.
No.
No!
What the...
That's it. Banned for life.
Come here, you.
Clean up on aisle 6.
Clean up checkout.
Aah.
Aah, ow.
Aah.
Aah!
Clean up on aisle 4.
Give me one.
Cereal, here i come.
Aah!
Biscuits.
Literally.
[giggles]
All right, this ends now.
For billy. For stumps.
For cereal.
Gotcha,
you grubby little monkey.
Listen, grocery man.
I got no beef with you.
I just want the cereal.
Time to clean up your act.
[laughs]
I'll teach you to
mess up my store.
Ooh.
I'll thank you to kindly
keep your hands off my buns.
Eagle eye, eagle eye,
it's shelf-stocker, five-niner.
Do you copy?
[man] yes, i can hear you, glen.
We've got a bratty
bogey in a white jumper.
I need a fix on his position.
Aisle 7.
I've got him now.
Ooh, aisle 8. Wow.
Where now? Where now?
Aisle 9.
Where's the target?
I've lost him.
Where is he?
He's right over your head, glen.
Brianna.
Stop right there.
Ooh, well,
aren't you the cutest?
Yep, pretty much.
Can i go for a ride?
Ooh, of course, brianna.
Huh?
You're mine now.
Whoa.
There's nowhere to go.
Follow that cart.
Okay.
Why are you chasing me?
I do not know.
[grunts]
He's...
Everywhere.
Faster.
I'm giving her all she's got!
Give me back my cereal.
Got to catch me first.
Whoa!
Stop right there.
Aah, aah, aah.
Clean up in seafood.
Gotcha.
Nice try, sis. I got my cereal.
All is right with the world.
Gotcha!
Look what you've
done to my store.
I haven't done anything.
I think it's about
time to teach you
Some grocery store etiquette.
Hey, no one threatens
my brother but me.
Hmm, all of this running
around has made me hungry.
You wouldn't dare.
Oh, wouldn't i?
No!
Solid, sis.
Mom's headed to the checkout.
Time to fly.
Faster!
Hi, kids. Sorry it took so long.
Why, kick, it's looks like
you earned your cereal.
Yes.
No, your rotten little kids
are nothing but trouble.
They destroyed my store.
They destroyed your store?
Yes, just look at it.
I think your bowtie's
a little tight.
Not enough air and you
start seeing things.
Come on, kids. Let's get moving.
Hey, glen, see you next week.
Glen, pick up on local, please.
We need to talk.