Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil (2010–2012): Season 1, Episode 3 - Kicked Out/Kick the Habit - full transcript

Kick must go 24 hours without attempting any stunts or else he ends up in Military School for a year.

♪♪ [theme]

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick, kick, kick ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪
♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪


[engine revs]

[tires screech]


[ground rumbles]


[both grunt]


Where are we?

We're stuck.
What are we going to do?

There's no escape, no food,

No offerings for death
when he comes for us.

Aren't those vultures?

Hold me, kick.

I'm cold.

This is it, gunther.

This is what we've
been looking for.

It is?

And with a little work,

It'll be the ultimate hangout.

You were right, kick.
It's awesome.

We got a wall of fame.

A workout room that
i will never use.

An entertainment center.

It's pretty much the greatest
hangout spot on earth.

Still missing one thing.

Are you sure this is
the best way to do this?

Oh, yeah.

[gunther howls]

[howling continues]

[howling continues]

Blaah. Hey, look!

It's the dillweed
brothers' delivery service.

Thanks for the housewarming
present, losers.

Yeah! Get your shoes
off of our couch!

This is our couch.

Oh, yeah?


That's our hangout.

Not anymore.

This is our place now.

And i don't like the way
this guy's looking at me.


Get out of our hangout.

Or what?

Aah! Aah!

[scuffling sounds]


This isn't over, brad.

You haven't seen the
last of kick buttowski.

[thunder rumbles]

Best hangout ever!

[gunther] how are we gonna
get our hangout back, kick?

Ooo, lingonberries.





[burp, fart]



No, do that again.

What? This?

[burp, fart]

Oh, that? It happens any
time i eat lingonberries.

It runs in the family




Sneak attack.

No. They know we're coming.

All part of the plan.

Gunther, brad's gone.

We've got our hangout back.

In your dreams, dillweed.

I don't know what this is,

But since you have
it, i want it.

Whatever you do,
don't open that.

I'm doing stuff over here.

[fart explodes]

[horace] it burns!

[brad] oh, no!

What could possibly make
such a terrible stench?


Fall back! Fall back!

It's ours

Come on, gunther,
there's no time to rest.

Why not?

They're gone,
and the hangout is ours.

You said it yourself, remember?

It's ours.

So i did.

But they'll be back.

And we'll be ready.

We will?

[thunder crashes]





The game's up.

Oh, yeah?


I'm sorry, kick.
They overpowered me.

Ha ha ha ha!

I surrender.

Let him go.

Put the balloon down,
or the gunther gets it.

Don't do it, kick!

Zip it.

That's right, dillweed.

Now, get out of our hangout,

Or else.

Not without not my gunther.

[scuffling sounds]

Stay alive, gunther.

No matter what happens,
i will find you.

Keep your eyes open, lame brain.

You keep your eyes
open, lamer brain.


Hey, i found something.

It looks like a jumpsuit.




Slow down. You're going
to make them too smooth.

I don't know how to
please you anymore.

Just do it right.

I'll take my gunther back now

And our hangout.

Horace! Pantsy!

Looks like your boys are
going to miss the party.

Time to kick some buttowski.

You want him?

Come and get him.

Gunther, go, go, go.


Victory is...

I guess they didn't teach you

How to tie knots
in loser school.

Ha ha! Good one.

Get him!

[boys laugh]

I don't know, kick.
Maybe we should just give up.

No. I will never give up.

Not while brad is down there.

Today we fight for honor,
for duty, for a hangout.

My butt is wet.

Aw, come on, brad.
Let's just leave.

Yeah. Boring.

I know. This place stinks,

But i'm not gonna
let him have it.

Not on my watch.

[horn blares]

There they are.

This is your last chance.

Leave our hangout, or...

Face the ancient
wrath of my people!

Gunther, horns don't win wars.
Awesome wins wars.

No, kick, you don't understand.

This horn... [grunts]


Pantsy, cover the flank.


Look out, horace!
He's in the slop!




[mimics machine gun fire]

[mimics machine gun fire]

[guns cock]

They're reloading.



[all laugh]

[cheetah growl]

[rubber stretches]





Any last words

Before you eat
knuckle, dillweed?

The horn, kick, the horn!

The horn.

[horn blares]

Ha ha ha ha!

[heavy thuds approach]

[battle cry]

[all yell]



We give up.

You can have it.

Well, we got our hangout
back, thanks to your war horn.

Oh, it's not a war horn.
It's a dinner horn.

My family will come from all ends
of the earth if there's food.

Oh, well,
what's everyone eating?

Lingonberry pie.

[loud burp]


[birds sing]

[cat yowls]


Son, we need to talk.

We're all concerned

Your stunts may have gotten
a little out of control.

Only a little?


[scanner beeps]




And that was just this
morning, son.

Kick, your mother and i have
made a difficult decision.

[man] attention!

Kick, this is colonel payroll.

He runs the haverbrook
reform school for boys.

Wait. You're sending me to...

Military school!

Whose lame idea was that?

Hope you like crew cuts, loser.

You're dangerous, buttowski.
You're out of control.

A loose cannon.
You've got no discipline,

No way to control
your habit for stunts.

A habit is something
you can't control,

Like when gunther cuts one.


Couldn't stop if i wanted,

And i don't.

I can quit stunts anytime.

You couldn't even go one hour
without doing some stupid stunt.

Oh, really?
I'll do better than that.

I'll go 24 hours
without any stunts.

That'll prove it's not a habit.

And we forget all about
sending me to reform school.

Huh, that seems fair.

What? Oh, come on!

Now, now.

If kick says he can do it,

then harold and i believe him.

Sounds like we have a deal.

But if you do so much
as one little stunt,

You're going to be signed up

For a full year of discipline,


And crew cuts!

Deal. If anybody needs me,

I'll be in my room...

In control, not doing stunts.

[clears throat]

Starting now.

Okay. 24 hours begins...


[bell tolls]

Eight minutes,
and you're doing so awesome, kick.



Maybe i can't do this, gunther.
Maybe it's too much temptation.


Get rid of it,
gunther, all of it.


Once you fail, i'm going turn
your room into muscle beach.

It's gonna be perfect.


So strong. So handsome.

So brad.

Must be the spandex.

[kissing sounds]

No way. Kick will never crack.

He's too strong.
He's too focused.

[rummaging] he's...

[gasps] no! Bad kick!




Hand it over.


All of it.


[bell tolls]

Well, this ought to
keep you out of trouble.

Nothing's getting in.
Nothing's getting out.

Now we just wait it out,

And i can still enjoy the view.

Maybe we ought to keep
you away from the edge.

What's the matter?
Still think i'm out of control?

No way, kick.
I was just thinking why tempt...

[ropes groan] kick!

Stop! Don't do it!


The adrenaline feels so good!

You're all mine now, buttowski.

Hope you like crew cuts.


Quick. Get me out of here.


[bells tolls]

[gunther] my parents use this to
get me to stop smelling my fingers.

It's not my fault
they smell delicious.



Test it.

[electricity snaps]

Good work, gunther.

With this thing,
i'll definitely be able

To stay away from stunts.

[brad] you surprise
me, dillweed.

I thought you would
have cracked by now.

Cracking is for the weak.

Or maybe you just haven't
been tempted enough.


Is that a...

A nitro-burning
"hyper-septubulous" skate?


Yes, it is.

Not going to work, brad.
I'm still in control.

That's too bad,
because the department of public works

Has left this perfectly
good sinkhole unattended.

Can't hold out much longer.

Kick, you got to resist,

Or they're going to send
you to reform school

And we'll never get
to hang out again.

You can't resist.
Feel the adrenaline.

Sweet, sweet adrenaline.

No adrenaline, kick!


You know you want to.

Must resist.



You're gonna have to
do better than that.


Come on.

The kid's getting close.

Look at the time.
He's almost halfway there.

You promised us.

You said you would handle
this, brad.

Don't worry.

I got one more
trick up my sleeve.

[panting] finally.

No brad, no stunts, no nothing.
We're safe.


Why are you looking
at me like that.

Like what, blue?

What did you call me?


I think it's time
to get some help.

Must not do stunts.

Need help coming down.

Worry not because i'm
gonna teach you...

Lesson 1...

Let nature be your ride.


[both sniff]


Lesson number 2...

When some tries to
harsh your mellow,

You just let it go
and roll like the dog.

And now our final lesson,

And i can't stress this enough.

You got to know when
it's time to kick back.

[bell tolls]

[bike bell rings]


If it isn't mr. Buttowski.

I just happen to have

These shiny new skates.

Want to give them a try?

Maybe later, chickadee.

But right now i'm
just gonna let it go.

And roll like the dog.

[growls, whines]

[tires screech] hey, kick.

You want to drag?

Go on. You know you want to.

[revs engine]

Thanks all the same.


Nature's my ride.

Hey, dillweed.

You think you've
got this in the bag?

You failed, brad, as usual.

I still have three minutes.

What could you possibly
do in three minutes?

[engine revs]

Hey, brad, where did you get

This awesome armored
personnel carrier?

Now where did i park my awesome
armored personnel carrier?


Must not weaken.

Go on, kick.

Why don't you take
a closer look?

Can't you just feel the power?

I jammed the accelerator open,

So all you have to do is just
release the parking brake.


Ha ha ha ha ha!

Don't do it, kick.

It's not worth it!

This is a pretty sweet truck.
It might be worth it.

I've had just about enough from
you, gunther.

I'm not gonna let
you stand in the way

Of my ultimate
muscle beach hangout.

I'm not about to let you break
up an awesome friendship!

[engine revs]

[tires screech]

Yes. No!

i better get my biceps oiled up

And invite the ladies over.

Oh, kick, no!


Why so glum, chum?


[bell tolls]

You did it, kick.
How did you resist?

Sometimes you got to know
when it's time to kick back.

That's awesome.

We are so proud.

No reform school for you, son.

No way. He totally cheated.

It took a lot of work

To grab that truck
and soup it up and...

Are you the one who
stole my vehicle?

Uh, no, sir.
I just borrowed it for a little bit.

Better come with me, son.
You're out of control.

Bye, brad.

Hope you like crew cuts.

Well, i've got some unfinished
business to take care of.

[cat yowls]

[sniffs] ah, oh, yeah.