Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil (2010–2012): Season 1, Episode 19 - Morning Rush/A Fistful of Ice Cream - full transcript

Kick must complete two months of homework assignments on the way to school.

♪♪ [theme]

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick, kick, kick ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪
♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪


And so, students, as isaac newton
stated in his first law of motion,

An object at rest can stay...

[man] t minus five, four,

Three, two, one,

And liftoff. [bell rings]


Excellent demonstration of
newton's first law of motion,

Mr. Buttowski.

Motion's what i'm all about.

Laws, not so much.

Mm-hmm. Well, that might explain

Why you haven't handed
in a single assignment

In two months,

Mr. Buttowski

Dog ate my homework.

Dog ate my homework.

Dog ate my homework.

A dog's stomach is
biologically incapable

Of digesting that much bleached
paper, mr. Buttowski.

I'm afraid i have to fail you.

Fail? But...

Which means you
will be held back.

Held back?

Hey, kick.
You, us, laser-boarding.

Oh, wait. You can't.

You're still in school.

I will not let that happen.

Semester ends tomorrow.

You'd have to do all your
assignments in one night,

And that is
physically impossible.

Hang on.

You like science. Mm-hmm.

I like physically impossible.

Mm-hmm. Let's try an experiment.

An experiment? Huh.

I hypothesize

That i can do all my homework
in one night tonight.

Huh. Preposterously impossible.

When i prove the
impossible is possible,

You give me a passing grade.

Huh. Very well,

You finish all your
homework by tomorrow,

And you pass.

You better straighten
out, mr. Buttowski,

Or you'll wind up
living in the city dump.

I'm afraid i have to fail you.

You will be held back.


[warbled beeping]


[motorcycle revs]

Wow, two months of
homework in one night.

I am tingly.

Kick buttowski one, teacher...


Careful with that, kick.

You don't want anything
to happen to it.

Relax, gunther.

What could possibly go wrong?

No! Wait! Stop!

Now what?

Looks like we're going to
have to walk to school.

It could be worse.

At least i still
have my homework.



Come on, oscar.

I know we don't like each other,

But today is not the day

To mess with me.

Hand it over.

Good. That's a good boy.

How ironic.

The dog really did
eat your homework.

Oscar! No worries.

I know the heimlich maneuver.


Just forgot it.


No, kick,
you're going to get held back.

Who will i talk to?

Who will i sit with at lunch?

Who will remind me not
to swallow my tongue?

Gunther, gunther, gunther,

So little faith.


Two months of
homework questions?

That's right.

And i'm going to get it all done

On the way to school.

But, kick, there's only, like,

Ten minutes till school starts.

Mrs. Fitzpatrick said i
have to turn it in today.

She didn't say what time today.


Good morning, mr. Buttowski.

I'll look forward to
reviewing your homework

When class begins at 8:00.

You have exactly five
minutes and 43 seconds

Until the bell rings.

Better get a move on.

No time for books, pal.

Got to learn from experience.

Let's start with physics.

If an object rolls
down a 20% incline

From a height of 50 meters,

What's its velocity

At the moment of impact?

My kind of question.

Wow, kick, you sure know
how to make homework fun.

Where'd you find all
these packing bubbles?


[both grunting]

That was 87 bubble pops,

So it's 42 foot pounds
per square inch.

On to the next problem.



Next question.


What happens to
a 96-pound object

Traveling 1,200 meters
into the troposphere?

Only one way to find out.

[gunther] trampoline sale?


Right. Okay, gravity.

What is the rate of acceleration

For an object
falling from space?

Thirty-two feet per
second per second.

Got it. Got it.

What's next? Geology.

Can you name the outermost layer

Of the earth?

That would be the
crust, gunther.



C[oscar barks]



[kick] close call.

Good thing that dog hates water.

That's no dog. It's pure evil.

Look. The mellowbrook rapids.

If we ride downstream,

We might still catch the
bus at riverfront drive.

Gee, that's kind of convenient.

All part of the plan.


[trilled grunting]

[kick] what's the next question?


What do you call a rapidly
rotating vortex of fluid?

You're making this too easy.


Got another question?

How much weight can lift
with its tongue? Frog


Well, at least four milligrams.

He's relentless.

make that at least 12 pounds.

Waterfall? Help!


[kick] okay,
he can handle 297 pounds.


Look. There's the bus.
Right on schedule.

i ended up in the city dump,

Just like mrs. Fitzpatrick said.

We were so close.

Oh, kick,
we'll never get to school on time.

You're doomed to repeat
the school year forever.

I'll go on to
college, get a job,

And eventually
marry a supermodel

While you're still
stuck in science.

We'll never see
each other again.

I am not going to
let that happen.

I hope that works out for
you, bro.

Look at me. I live in the dump.

I had all the makings player.
Gendary rock guitar

If only i had done my homework

When i had the chance.

Oh, my gosh, you had mrs.
Fitzpatrick, too?


♪♪ [blares]

We're still in this.

you still have your power tools?

Never leave home without them.


Gunther, the final question.

What barrier would be broken

If a body was to travel

Faster than 768 miles per hour?

The speed of sound.


♪♪ [soloing]

Good morning, class.
Well, what do you know?

One minute to 8:00 and
no clarence buttowski.

School's about to start, kick.

Time for a power chord.

So my hypothesis is proven.


Two months of homework
in one night is imposs...

[sonic boom] aah.

Sonic boom?

One on earth
could've caused that?

You... you finished?

[bell rings]

Congratulations, mr. Buttowski.

Just in time.

Looks like you passed.


I must say i am quite impressed.

I half expected you to come in

With another tall tale of how...

How some dog ate your...
[oscar yips, crunches]

That dog...
That dog ate your homework.


♪♪ [finale]


Poor mrs. Buttowski.

She picked the hottest
day in mellowbrook history

To throw her husband's
surprise birthday party.

And kick doesn't sweat one drop.

How do you do it?

It pays to keep a cool head.

What does that even mean?

[gasps] don't worry, everyone.

Ice cream's on the way.

Cowboy kelly ice cream bars.

Harold has loved them
since he was a baby

And ate one every day.

He even shared one
on our first date.

Uh, sort of.

They don't make those anymore.

I know,

But there is one box left

In deep freeze.

Party saved.

[cell phone rings]



The truck broke down.

No cowboy kelly bars!

Party unsaved.

I guess that's my cue.

Time to save the party.

I don't know, kick.

Remember last time you
tried to save the party?

Not this time, gunther.

We're hoping to find that truck,

Get those cowboy kelly bars,

And save dad's birthday party.

[brad] in your
dreams, dill weed.

This time the brad saves
dad's birthday party.

Can i borrow a couple bucks?


Ice cream that-away.

No. My ice-cream sense
has never failed me.

No, no, no, no...

[wood creaking]


Thank tarnation, you found me.

Well, just having a
little engine trouble.

I think the proper term
is automotive american.

What about the
cowboy kelly bars?

They're nice and cold for now,

But these puppies don't have
much time in that freezer.

I think the proper term
is arctic american.

Kick, how are we going
to get this truck

Back to your house in time?


This here's like an
old-fashioned cattle drive.

Hyah, doggies. Hyah.

[gunther] canine american.

Shh, shh, shh, shh.
I hear ice cream.

No. Cowboy kelly bars.

Mount up.

Bring it on.

Let's do this.

You know,
i'm really not feeling it today.


I mean, move 'em out!

Looks like smooth sailing from here on...
[bike riders yelping]


It's the third street bandits.

The what?

Only the most feared
band of misfits

West of fourth street,

And they sound hungry.

Sorry, boys. You're on your own.

Oh, how thoughtful.

All this delicious ice cream

Delivered directly to us.

Step aside.
This ice cream is spoken for.

Yeah, by me,

And the more you try to stop us,

The more pain we're
going to inflict

On your puny, little helmet.

Come on.
We'll take the old dirt road.

Giddyap! Ha! [whip cracks]

[grumbles] sorry.

Look! After them!

[chief bandit] ahem. Oh.

Gotta save dad's party.
Gotta save dad's party.

Gotta... ooh.

Hello, good-looking.


Nonstick cooking spray?

Eh, i'm cookin'.

I think we lost them, kick.


I think they found us, kick.

Mellowbrook bridge?

We're half way home, by gum.

[man] look out for a bizarre
traffic-slash-cattle jam

On the mellowbrook bridge.

Drivers are urged
to "steer" clear.


Brake, kick. Brake!

Can't brake. Won't make it.

[gunther screams]
we're going to make it.

[gasps] i love air.

This isn't over!

Looks like it to me.

Oh, yeah?
You better look closer.

And you better go
back to third street.

Yeah, and... what?
I can't... what?



What? [water rumbling]

Dam. Gunther!

No, kick, look.

[kick and gunther] dam!

[cell phone rings]


Kick, i can't get ahold of brad.

Are you with him?

Uh, we're...

Well, tell him to hurry.

The guests are
getting desperate.

No problem.

Are you...

Are you under water?

[man] enough's enough.
It's too hot.

Wait. Where are you going?

Out of this heat.

I'm sweating like a
turkey in november.



I'm sure brad will be back
with those cold treats

Any minute now.

Excuse me, janelle,

Think you can break a fiver?

Uh, do you smell butter?

Why? Do you like it?


[gunther] i still love air

And ground.

I love ground. [gasps]


I have to admit their
persistence is admirable.

Hang on.
We're going underground.

[gunther] i'm
afraid of the dark.

And drafts.

But the last one doesn't apply.

Time to serve them
up some justice.

[chief bandit screaming]
low fat vanilla!

You're mine!

Kick, they're coming back

In an old, abandoned mine car.

Where did they even get an
old, abandoned mine car?

Where in tarnation did i park my
old, abandoned mine car?

[chief bandit] get closer.

I want that creamy treat!

Why, thank you.

Why don't you take
the easy way out

And hand over the ice cream?

I don't do easy.

I'll do easy.

Kick, stalagmite dead ahead.

Or is it stalactite?

I can never remember because...


[kick] sorry,
we had to make like a banana

And split.


This still isn't over!

We'll get you yet!

We never give up!

You know,
i'm still not feeling it.

Hang on.

[gunther] i don't
like air anymore.

Or gravity! [screams]


[wood cracking]

We did it.

We ditched them.

[chief bandit laughs]
thanks, boys!

Nothing like ice
cream on a hot day.

[laughs] peace.

They took all the cowboy
kelly wagon wheels.

Did they?

The cowboy kelly bars.

Yep. Come on, gunther.
Gotta move.

Crushed ice or cubed?

How about turbo?

Well, that's not even a...


You're still here?

So there's this little
shindig i've got going.

On such a hot day,
what would you recommend to cool off?

I've got just the thing
you're looking for, hot stuff.

Here you go.

Why, thank you, janelle.

I knew you couldn't resist

The way of the brad.


Oh, where are those boys?

Their father will
be home any second.

♪ Go, harry,
it's your birthday ♪

♪ Literally ♪


I'm home.

[all] surprise!

Oh, gracious me,

A snow-themed party.

How perfect. Dearest, i...

I had hoped to surprise you
even more with... one of these?

Cowboy kelly wheels?
I can't believe it.

[kick] happy birthday, pops.

I can't believe it.

They're all melted.

All but one.



I... i can hardly believe it.

Oh, kick, you saved your
father's birthday party.

How did you keep
it from melting?

It pays to keep a cool head.

Oh, now i know what that means.

Party people,
prepare to be saved.

Dig in.

[chuckles] enjoy your cool
fiery jalapeño crunch...


That girl at the market
said it was their hottest...


Yeah, brad?

[wind whistling]




Well, it looks like
we've been licked.