Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil (2010–2012): Season 1, Episode 18 - Dancing with the Enemy/Tattler's Tale - full transcript

♪♪ [theme]

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick, kick, kick ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪
♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪


[woman] all right,
all right, line up.

We're starting a new
activity in gym class today.

Please not dodgeball.
Please not dodgeball.

Please let it be dodgeball.
Please let it be dodgeball.

And the new activity is...


Huh, nice shot, buttowski,

But it's not dodgeball.

Wait, what?

Believe me, i wish it was,

But our school nurse wants to
cut down on gym class injuries,

So instead, you get this.

Welcome to dance appreciation.

Dance appreciation?


Come on now, kick,
time to choose a partner.

There's plenty of other
dancers to choose from.

Hi, kick.

Hi, wacky jackie.

I mean, regular jackie.

Kick, it's so funny
running into you like this

And when we're picking
dance partners, too.

Oh, my gosh, what are the odds?

What are the odds?

Two star-crossed lovers

Brought together by fate.

Sorry, pal, i owe you one.

Looks like everyone's paired up,

So i guess i'm excused.

[dance teacher] not so fast.

Okay, now,
who doesn't have a partner?

[girl] uh,
i don't have a partner.

[students] ooh.



Oh, goody,
you two know each other.

Yes, i've had a few
run-ins with clarence.

What a wonderful
day to make money.

Yes, i'm familiar
with officer kendall

Of the fun police.

What a wonderful
day to make money.

Now, you two, don't be shy.


Ooh, hot.

I smell a salsa duo.

[imitates sizzle]

Kick should be holding my hand!

Ow, you're hurting me.


Kick, help

Everyone, listen up.

Each duo will choreograph
their own routine

For a dance off.

Get your girly paws off me.

You're the one with
the girly hands.

I am so not dancing with you.

I'm not dancing with you.

I'd rather spend
a day in detention

Than dance with you.

I'd rather punch myself in
the face than dance with you.

I'd like to see that.

Maybe someday you will.

Good, then we agree.

Yes, surprisingly.

[together] but i'm still
not dancing with you.

If you don't want to dance,

Then you fail.


I can't fail gym.

Kick buttowski does not fail.

[man] and the winner gets
an a plus for the year,

And there's also a
beautiful trophy.

Hope you're ready to dance.

Then there's only
one thing to do.

Get that a plus.

And that trophy.

Then let's get to it.

As long as you know

I don't like you.

I haven't liked you since
the first time i met you.

I never stopped not liking you.

Stop looking at me.

You stop looking at me.

I'm not looking. You're looking.

In your dreams. In your dreams.

Nuh-uh... yuh-huh.

yuh-huh times infinity.


♪♪ [latin]

Practice time.

I want that a plus, clarence.

And i want a tree that grows
corndogs, kendall.

is dancing too tough for you?

You want tough?

Hold onto your headgear.

Ow! Oh, nose.

You dented my helmet.

You almost broke
my nose and my foot

With that stupid dance.

Two out of three ain't bad.

You need to be more graceful, like...
like a ballerina.

I don't do graceful.

Don't or can't?

Great caesar's side salad,

Looks like we already
have some front-runners.

Hey, kick,
you like what you see?

Well, you had your chance.

You're going down!

Help me.

This is hopeless.

I can't believe i'm
going to fail gym.

Don't worry.

All you have to do is
find your own style.

That's what dancing's all about.

[kendall] jackie and
gunther are going to win.

They have a style,
and what do we have?

For your information,

I have a style.

It's called "awesome,"

Like this...

[crowd roaring]




A meticulously choreographed
form of awesome.

Well, i've got a style, too.

♪♪ [singing aria]


An elegant blend
of music and drama.

Well, we should be awesome.

We should be elegant.

[kick] awesome.
[kendall] elegant!

Awesome. Elegant!

Awesome! Elegant!


That's... it.

We combine our styles.

Awesome meets elegant.

[phonograph needle
scratches] huh.

[school bell rings]


And we gave up
dodgeball for this?

Everybody dance.

Now. ♪♪ [hip-hop]

♪♪ [latin]

I think i know who our
winners are going to be.

[doors open] [kick] us.

Whatever happens out there,

I want you to know

I, uh...
i really don't like you.

The feeling is mutual.

Then let's win this thing.

♪♪ [rock]


♪♪ [opera]

♪♪ [irish traditional]

Ooh, sensational step work.

♪♪ [rock]

[gunther] i'm going to pee!

Looks like we have two
front-runners for best couple.


We have to win.


[together] ooh!

Oh, no they didn't.

You're not going to win this.

Bring it, sister.

Gunther, say something
intimidating to kick.


Right now i'm crying inside.

[crowd cheering]

All right, boys,
good game today.

Time to hit the showers.




[crowd cheering]

You are so elegant.

And you're so awesome.

[boy] kiss her.

Ew, ew, ew, ew... Ew.

Bravo, bravo,

But you did so wonderful,

I don't know how to
decide the winner.

There's only one way
to make a decision.

Another dance off?

No. Dodgeball!

[all] yeah!

Oh, no.

Now, i want you two to behave

While we're at the pageant.

Certainly, mother.

You've been getting in far
too much trouble lately.

That's in the past, mom.

We've learned our lesson.

We're quite fond of each other.


I'll be back in three hours.

Is she gone?

Hold it.


What were we
fighting about again?

I don't know. It doesn't matter.



No. No...


[gasps] mom's due
home any second.


Go fish, brother.

No, i insist. You go fish.

I know. Let's both go fish.

[both] together.

[phone rings] hello?

Hello, mrs. Buttowski.

Both of you, to your rooms.

You are grounded for fighting.

But... How?

How did she know?

This is all your
fault, dill weed.

Mom busted us again
because of you.

She's good,
but she's not this good.

Well, she's catching us somehow.

Yes, somehow.

I think we've got a
tattler in our midst.

[mrs. Buttowski] okay,
boys, punishment is over.

Out of your rooms
and outside now.

And don't get into
any more trouble.

I mean it, kick.

Hello, mrs. Buttowski.

Wait a minute.

That silhouette, so familiar.



[dialing, rings]

[yelling] oh, no.

[dialing, rings]

Ms. Chicarelli.

It was you.
You're the one snitching on me.

That's right.
It's my responsibility

To keep the cul-de-sac safe from
the likes of you, troublemaker.

We were just having fun.

You were loud and
out of control.

Kids are the worst thing to
ever happen to the suburbs,

My suburbs.


It used to be so
quiet around here

Until all of you brats moved in.

That goes for you,
too, mr. Vickle.

You stop cutting those
bushes so loudly.

And the next time you disrupt

Even one blade of grass
on this cul-de-sac,

You'll be serving a
lifetime of grounding.

Don't worry, ms. Chicarelli.

Kick will be on
his best behavior,

Right, kick?

Yes, mom.


[kick] gunther,
this is ridiculous.

If i get caught one more time,

I'm going to spend my entire
childhood locked in this room.

I don't know, kick.

From what i hear,
she's been taking out kids

All over the cul-de-sac.

She's got to be stopped.

We're getting busted
all over the place.

Yeah, i guess we better stay

As far away from
her as possible.


Chicarelli's yard? Nothing ever
comes back from chicarelli's yard.

[door opens] [growling]

Have fun getting grounded.

I'll write to you on the inside.

Not. [laughs]


You really know how to be a
jerk, brad.

That's right,
and don't forget it.

[whimpers] don't worry, gunther.

She's gunning for me.

She won't be expecting you.


So let me just make
sure i got the plan.

You want me to shimmy
over the shrub,

Move stealthily
through the yard,

Duck behind the tree,

Slip over the trashcan,

Avoid detection and subsequent
butt biting by oscar,

Grab ol' blue,

Move stealthily back
through the yard,

And then shimmy
back over the shrub?

Okay, here goes nothing.

One for the money,
two for the show,

Three to get ready, and four...

I'm sorry, gunther.

When you getting out?

My parents follow the
ancient rules of discipline

From the old country.

I've got at least six
months grounding left.

Then i can sleep
in the house again.

Gunther, we need to stop
chicarelli's tattling,

And i know just the person.

Brad, have i ever told you

That you're the most annoying
person on the planet?

Don't sweet talking
me, dill weed.

Whatever it is,
i'm not helping you.

Now, do something dumb so
i can watch you get busted.

Hey, brad,
let me see your wallet.

This wallet?

No chance.



That's it. Huh?


[chuckles] just a
little brotherly love.


For crying out loud,

I can't even pound you
without getting busted

By that old bat.

That's why i came to you.

What are we going to do? Shh.

It's not safe here.

Let's meet somewhere
we can talk.

[brad] man,
i can't wait to get her back.

Me, too.
That tattling has got to stop,

And it's not just us.

She's got the whole
cul-de-sac on edge.


Okay, i'm listening.

We need to focus in on what
really drives her crazy.

If there's anything
i'm an expert at,

It's driving people crazy,

And i'd say i'm looking at grade
a, number one annoyance.

Be serious, brad.

I am.
Who annoys her more than you?

And if a little bit of you
sends her over the edge,

Then what we need is to
give her a whole lot more.


I like the way you think.


It's so peaceful,

So quiet,

So beautiful.

No loud noises.

No children playing.

Nothing on fire.

Peace and quiet at last.

[rumbling] huh?



You just bought yourself a lifetime
grounding, clarence buttowksi.

[tarzan yell]

The trash,
mixing with the recycling.

Wait till i tell your mother.


Two kicks?

Boo. [screams]

Hi-ya. [screams]


Sh. No time to explain.

Just come with me.

What's that?

Fine. They can come, too.

[screams] [kids yelling]

He's everywhere.
He's everywhere.

He's... he's everywhere.



What's going on?

Yes? Uh, ms. Chicarelli.

Buttowski, at this very moment

That boy of yours is
disturbing the peace

And ruining the sanctity
of the entire neighborhood,

And he's breaking trashcans

And buzzing around,
crashing into things

And wasting water.

that boy is driving me crazy,

And he should be grounded
because of his menacing,

And he's... and he's...

He's right there.

Hey, mom,
i'm done cleaning my room.

Can i go outside and play now?

Why, hello there, ms.

Very nice to see
you out and about.

No... no...

Well, as you can see,

Kick is here at
home helping out.

There was so many of
them, i couldn't...

Okay, you have a good day, now.

[latch clicks]

Come on, oscar. Kick...
uh, everywhere.

buttowski everywhere.

Well, honey,

I think i may have
been a little wrong

In listening to ms. Chicarelli

And her tales of your trouble.

Well, that put old
snitchy back in her place,

And during the confusion,

I was able to get
all our stuff back.

Autographed photo of me?

Finally my set is
complete again.

Emo kid.

The toupee?

Uh, not quite.

Uh, yup.

Ah, still fits.



Nice work.

You, too.

Now, where were we?

Wet willie.

[both yell]

[howling in distance]

Will you keep your dog quiet?