Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil (2010–2012): Season 1, Episode 17 - Abandon Friendship!/Braking the Grade - full transcript

♪♪ [theme]

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick, kick, kick ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪
♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick, kick ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪

♪ kick buttowski ♪







Gunther, how did it get so bad?


Okay, gunther,
you gonna be ready at the landing spot?


Pudding is already in place.


And release.

Let me just get the...

Steering wheel!


All finished.

Now, i've seen some

Friendship fountains before,

But this one takes the cake.

I still remember the
day we met 20 years ago.

[both] a chicken wing.

You take, i insist.

Why, thank you.

What is your name, friend?

[chokes] mmm, unusual name.

Nice to meet you,


No, magnus, he's choking.


He needs cpr.


By the hammer of thor, i live.


Friends. Oh, i love this song.

Let's dance.

Here's to the vangunsons
and the buttowskis.

[all] may our families be
forever friends forever.

Nothing could ever break
up this friendship.

Has anyone seen kick?

[incoming missile whistles]



What a pair, huh?

Ja. Ol' kick is so rebellious.

Only when gunther's around.


Your son is like this,

Gunther, i will ruin your life,

And also look at
my silly helmet.

And gunther is like this,

I don't know about this, kick.

I don't know about this, kick.

While you act like,

Oh, my name is harry.

Look at my pointy nose
and my stupid pants.

Well, here's you.

Oh, i'm all big and scary.




You slander our family?

You slandered my family first.

Your son destroyed the party.

Because your son probably
messed something up.

He learned how to
mess up from your son.

Well, then maybe we
should have never met.

Raa! This friendship is over.

Fine. We're leaving.

Good riddance.
Be gone buttowskis.


But i'm sleeping over at kick's.

No, you're not.
Your friendship is over, too.

You and kick will never
see each other again.

[both] no. Oh, yes.

Kick. Gunther.

Psst, gunther.



Hey, kick.

I can't come down.

My parents said you're
a bad influence.

But just because they aren't
friends doesn't mean we can't be.

[horn blares]

Why, of course, mr. Pizza-man,
i can pick up

The pizzas at the park.

[dial tone] hello?

[loud thud]

I don't think this is
working, kick.

Come on, gunther, we've got...

Cease communications

Gunther, we've tried everything.

I guess this just
isn't gonna work.

But i can't find a
new best friend now.

My looks aren't what
they used to be.

I'll never find another
friend like you.

I'll never find another
friend, ever.

[dog barking]

Run, kick! [barking continues]

So, mouth,
we've never really hung out.

What exactly do you do?

I scheme.
I'm also kind of into shuffleboard.

Well, you ever think about
going down dead man's drop?

[kick] never find
another friend ever, huh?

Sitting in our booth? With him?

Kick, you're not
supposed to be in here.

Didn't you see the
sign my dad put up?

Well, forgive me, gunther.

I was doing this
thing called trying.


Let's go!
Dead man's drop awaits!

And exactly how hard
were you trying?

This is boring.
I'm gonna go play shuffleboard.

I was thinking about
going down the drop

On this rickety old
pair of roller skates.


Huh. You're supposed to say "i
don't know about this, kick."

Wait a second. You just want me
to be a replacement for gunther.

Well, i'm totally into it.

What do you think?


Hey, good buddy.
You want to split these bacon rinds?

Okay. I'll leave your half
of the rinds out here.

Wow. Pretty awesome, huh?

Quit hogging the chips.

Attention, mellowbrook.

Watch in awe as my
new best friend,

Uh, this guy conquers
dead man's drop.

I'm already empty inside.

Come on, this guy.
I know you're gonna be great.



Guess i'm not so easily
replaced after all.

Let's go, new buddy.

[siren wails] [groans]

Hey, will you be
my new best friend?


Keep pulling, new buddy.

Just hang tight while i
grab the steering wheel.

Why can't you just tell
gunther you miss him?

Because i'm only
your reflection.

[smash] [groaning]

Ugh. Oh.
I didn't know you were here.

Oh. Hey.
What are you doing here?

I was just coming
to get this old sock

And this crumpled
piece of paper.

So where's your little friend?

Which one?
I have many relationships.

You've come a long way since "never
gonna find another friend ever."

None of this would've happened

If you hadn't forgotten
that steering wheel.

I can't help it if i
have a lousy pit crew.

Oh, more excuses from the
world's worst daredevil.

What did you just say?

The world's worst daredevil.

[both yell]

Gunther, how did it get so bad?

It's a little rancid,

But what do you expect
from aerosol cheese?

Not the cheese.

Oh, gunther, i... you know.

What is it, kick? I, uh...

I miss my best friend.

I feel the same way, buddy.

Let me try to express
it through song.

♪ Why are we friends? ♪

♪ I think you'll agree ♪

Hey, give me back my
guitar, little girl.

Look, gunther,
we don't need songs.

We're friends no matter what.

But i already paid
the backup dancers.

If we're gonna be friends again,

We need our parents to make up.

What do you say?
You want to do this?

Hello? Who's there?

[doorbell rings]

Who dares ring my doorbell?

Magnus, what is it?

Oh, it's you.

Hello, buttowskis.

♪♪ [disco]

What's all this?

It's just like how we met.

I couldn't do this
without my best friend.

Thanks again, buddy.

[grunts] i hope we never make
a mistake like that again.


[kick] now for the magic.

I bet kick did this.

Only that boy could pull
off a stunt like this.

No, no, no.
It had to be gunther.

He's so sensitive and sweet.

Harry, i'm so sorry.


I'm sorry too.
Forever friends forever?


[both] ooh, chicken wings.

[women] no.

[all laugh] those two.

I don't get it.

It's friday, gunther.
You know what that means.

Cafeteria meatloaf day?

Well, yes. But it's also...

[announcer] and demolition. S,

Plus, the first 100 kids

Get a free shard of
souvenir wreckage.

This friday, at the...

Oh, i'll be there, baby.

Best day of the year.

This certainly is the
best day of the year.

Meatloaf day?

No. It's report card day.

Report card day? Gee, kick.

You think your dad's still gonna
take you to the demolition derby

After he sees your report card?

Come on, gunther.
I do pretty well in class.

If my dad sees that report card,

He'll never take
me to the derby.

But if he doesn't see it...

Gunther, are you thinking
what i'm thinking?

You're gonna blind your dad?

Not this time.
I just gotta keep him

From seeing it till
after the derby.

I gotta get that report card.

All right.
Lower me precisely 8.2 feet.

Sorry. That was 8.3.

That's okay, gunther.
The derby is worth it.

Isn't stealing the
mail a federal offense?

It's my report card,
so technically no.

[footsteps] someone's coming.


Time for plan b. What's plan b?

Catch that mailman.

Oh, yay.
We used to play that at camp.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Whoa, he's really trucking.

You would too if oscar
were on your tail.


Maybe it'd just be easier

To be honest with your dad.

No time for the truth.

Besides, i want of wreckage.
R shard

Here's your mail.

Oh, thank you.


[kick] this is gonna be
harder than i thought.

Well, that was easy. Yep.

Just gotta hide this
till after the derby.

At which point,
i will be too immersed in awesomeness

To care about my punishment.

Yay. Another happy ending.

[laughs] this is
gonna be too easy.

Hey, kick.
I couldn't help but overhear

That you're trying to hide
your report card from dad.

Don't worry, the brad is here to help.
Yeah, brad.

Yay, another happy ending.

So, out of concern
and sympathy for you,

My brother, i humbly offer

This hiding place
for your report card.

Save it, brad.
I don't want your...

Hey, hey, get me outta here.


A proper dillweed burial. Mom!

Kick's trying to hide his report card.

Mom, hey, hey, mom.

Mm-hmm. Mom, you gotta see this.

Do you mind? I'm on the phone.

But... i don't want
to hear another word.

Mm-hmm. Yes, well, i've always felt that...
hello, i'm home.

Ooh, dad.

Dad, kick is trying to hide
his report card from you

Because he knows if you see it,

You won't take him to
the demolition derby.


What was that, bradley?
I couldn't hear you.

I was trying out these
sweet new headphones.

I said kick is trying to...

Kick, what are you doing
covered in that filthy laundry?

Jeez, brad,
you're not looking so hot.

Dad, kick's...

All right, boys.
No fighting in my mail reading room.


I'll take care of brad.

You get that report card.
Get off of me!

Kick, get in here immediately!

I can explain.

There is no excuse for this.

This water bill is 40
cents higher than usual.

Have you done any
water-related stunts recently?


No. Oh, well.

Sorry about the

Must be your mother and her persistent
toilet flushing. [toilet flushes]

I'll talk to her later.

Now, out you go.
Gotta finish opening this mail

Before the demolition derby.

Now, let's see what's next.

Oh, come on.

Right in the middle
of mail time.

Where is it? Where is it?

Ah, finally.

Let's get this party started.

Oh, i wish those bee of
the month club people

Would stop sending
me these samples.

Ah! Same for the ferret people.

Oh, not another box of piranhas.
I have enough.


Un-hunh. Un-hunh. Got it.

Let me out of here!

Now, let's see what's next.

From the mellowbrook
school district.

Open immediately.

[doorbell rings]
special delivery.

Ah! More mail.

Why, thank you. I...

Where did you get that uniform?


Gotta go.

Gunther, ring the doorbell.

Yoink. Thanks, kick.
I was just about to open this one.


Dad, don't open that. Why not?

Uh, because i got you
a new letter opener.

Ah! Let me see.

I am saving it

Until after the derby.


Ah. It's all going
according to...

[gasps] kick!

Hah, gotcha.

Thanks, dillweed.

Get the card, kick.


Got it.

Don't got it.



Oh, bis-cuits!

Got it again.

I've been looking for this. Huh?

Report card?
Kick, were you trying to hide this from me?

I was afraid you wouldn't
take me to the derby.

But your grades have
improved across the board.

Say what?

[announcer] by the laws of awesome,
that was a crash to end all crashes.


Holy mackerel.
Get a load of this.

What happened?

Ladies and gentlemen,

That was the craziest heap
of awesome i've ever seen.

And look at those guys.
I think they're gonna...

[crash] what? What did i miss?

Was that magic or a
bona fide derby miracle?

Either way,
you'll never see that stunt again.

[groans] well,
at least i still have my souvenir shard.

Hey, is this my new letter opener?


And for messing with my mail,

You're grounded
when we get home.

Now, enjoy the derby, buddy.

Biscuits with gravy.

Mom? Dad?


Dillweed? [wolf howls]

Yeah, brad.