Kevin (Probably) Saves the World (2017–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - Rocky Road - full transcript
Kevin's initial belief that his next task is to find a job, that job which he is dismayed to think is back in the business world. He soon discovers that the "suit and tie" job he is ...
Previously on "Kevin
(Probably) Saves the World"...
- REESE: I wouldn't touch it!
- [EXPLOSION, KEVIN SCREAMING]
- I'm a messenger from God.
- Oh, good.
I'm here to guide and protect you.
- Who are you talking to?
- She can't see me.
In every generation, there
are 36 righteous souls.
The only job you have in life
for the foreseeable future
is to build up your spiritual powers
through acts of kindness
and selflessness.
After you've done so,
God is gonna show you
how to find the other righteous,
and then you'll anoint
them with an embrace.
Did that meteor give you superpowers?
KEVIN: Why would you even ask that?
Because I've seen weird stuff.
That's my journal.
When exactly were you gonna tell
me that you'd been arrested?
♪
You need to go upstairs,
pack your bags, and get out.
It's time.
Tell her.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
Amy.
I am the last of the
36 righteous on Earth.
What the hell are you talking about?
It's true, Amy.
Oh, my God.
Who are you?
She's an angel.
Angels are a human construct.
Let's just say...
I'm a warrior for God.
And so is Kevin.
♪
_
♪
I don't see her.
She's right there.
Blue pantsuit.
♪
Jessica Yamamoto?
Yes?
[CHOIR VOCALIZING]
One down.
34 to go.
- _
- ♪
- [INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
- MAN: Come on!
Get him!
Yeah!
♪
MAN #2: Ooh!
WOMAN: Come on!
[GRUNTING]
♪
You die tonight!
♪
MAN #3: Take him down!
Whoo!
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
♪
[GRUNTS]
[CHOIR VOCALIZING]
All right, Kevin. This is it.
This is the last of the 36 righteous.
Are you ready?
I've been ready for this my whole life.
_
♪
♪
Hello, Yuri.
♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
You have done it, Kevin.
You have saved the world.
[FIREWORKS EXPLODING]
♪
[SIGHS]
Thank you, Kevin.
Now I can go home.
Bye!
Bye!
Bye!
AMY: Kevin. Kevin.
Kevin!
Did you hear anything I just said?
Uh...
Get. Out.
♪
Ahh! Yeah!
Thanks for letting me crash here.
I just need to get out of
Amy's hair for a couple days.
Ah, man, are you kidding me?!
- [CHUCKLES]
- Welcome to...
The Medina House.
Ah! All right! Eh?
Wow, that is a big cage.
[CHUCKLES] That's Mr. Bungles' house!
He's my ferret.
- Ferret?
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, he's not in there right now.
- Oh.
Sometimes he goes on these, like,
adventures around the house.
- Oh.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Oh.
- It's been a few weeks now.
Great.
Must be getting hungry!
Don't let your fingers hang
off the couch when you sleep.
Yeah. [LAUGHS] That's a good...
Really.
Don't.
[MR. BUNGLES SQUEAKS, SCAMPERING]
[GRUNTS]
- [SQUEAKING CONTINUES]
- [GASPS]
♪
[SQUEAKING STOPS]
♪
- YVETTE: You okay?
- [GASPS, SIGHS]
Yep, just making a giant rodent
doesn't gnaw my fingers off.
No, I mean with your sister.
That fight seemed bad.
Oh. We've had worse.
She'll get over it.
Okay.
As long as it doesn't distract
from whatever task the
Universe presents us.
It won't.
What you witnessed
was the initial "white-hot anger"
phase of our fight.
Any attempt at conversation
during this period
would be a waste of time.
Once she cools down,
the next phase will begin.
- The next phase?
- Mm-hmm.
I got a whole system to deal with it.
It always brings us closer together.
- [CHUCKLES]
- [BREATHES DEEPLY]
I'll admit, the human
capacity for forgiveness
is incredible. But still...
Okay, look, look,
you're the expert at...
[STAMMERING]
You're the expert at whatever
you're the expert at.
And I'm the expert at fighting
with my twin sister, okay?
Just trust me.
If you say so.
[GASPS]
Oh, my God. What is that?
Where? Where is it? Where?
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
Was that a joke?
Was that a joke? That's real nice.
♪
AMY: Reese?
♪
Reese, I know you're awake.
You never sleep on your side.
♪
Look, it's my job to keep you safe.
I was worried, and...
Well, it turns out I had
a right to be worried.
I'm sorry if that upset you.
But I'm not sorry about what I did.
I hope you understand that.
♪
I love you.
♪
♪
[IMITATES ROOSTER CROWING]
- [GASPS]
- Rise and shine, buddy!
Ohh. Good morning.
Mom's got breakfast going,
so I hope you're hungry.
Ah. I am.
I could eat a...
Ah!
That's bad-ass, man!
You even sleep for success.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
- Yeah.
- Ooh! Very dapper!
Did the Universe dress me?
Oh. Like a little Ken doll.
Well, I'm not wearing this.
The best part about getting
fired was no more monkey suit.
Mm.
♪
[BREATHES SHARPLY]
[SIGHS]
Great.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
♪
It's a job listing.
"District marketing manager."
Five years of experience.
"Working knowledge of
PowerPoint required."
The Universe wants me to get a job?
I think it's about time. Don't you?
♪
[WHISTLING]
[HORN HONKING]
[HONKING CONTINUES]
What the hell?
You know, it's generally the
police who pull civilians over.
Who the hell do you think you are?
Whoa. Slow down.
Or what? You'll arrest me?
[SCOFFS] Like you arrested my daughter?
[SIGHS]
- Amy, I'm sorry.
- When were you planning on telling me?
On her second offense?
- I thought I was helping.
- Helping who?
My brother get away with a crime?
- No charges were filed.
- That is...
That doesn't make a difference.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry."
He's sorry!
Your rear taillight's out.
But I'm gonna let that slide.
♪
[VEHICLE DOOR CLOSES]
[ENGINE STARTS]
[VEHICLE DEPARTS]
Mm.
[HUMMING]
It's locked.
They're not open for
another five minutes.
Ah, thanks.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
[CHUCKLES]
Hey, that's a nice suit.
Ah. You to...
Bob Costas Collection?
Yeah.
Apparently so.
How long you been on the hunt?
For a job? Oh.
An hour and... four minutes?
- [LAUGHS]
- [LAUGHS]
Oh, man. You are a rookie.
You... You might as well
go get a cheese sandwich
and save yourself some time,
'cause this job is mine!
- Okay.
- Ho ho!
Yes, I can feel it.
It's mine!
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
I-It'll be okay.
Oh, my God. I...
[GROANS]
You know, it... It... It doesn't matter.
I wouldn't have got this job anyway.
Might as well just sell the house...
Wait. I think I know what I'm here for.
[CHUCKLES]
Huh.
♪
Uh, I don't know what to say, man.
You are amazing.
Just, uh, nail the interview.
And do it quickly, 'cause
it's a little chilly.
Okay, got it. Yeah. Yeah.
- M-My hair?
- Looks great.
- Good luck!
- All right.
- I'll be in my truck!
- Okay. Thanks, man.
Thank you.
♪
[DOOR RATTLING]
It's locked.
And the keys are in the suit!
Hi.
Enjoyin' the day.
♪
[DOOR RATTLING]
[SIREN CHIRPING]
♪
♪
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF]
♪
Nate. [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
Got a call about a naked loitering guy.
So shocked it's you.
Uh... I let someone borrow my
clothes for a job interview,
and my car keys were in the pocket.
[CHUCKLES] So...
Yeah, I mean, you get it.
Not even a little.
Well, um, I promise that it's true.
And if you wait with me, I'll prove it.
- Fine.
- [SIGHS]
Okay.
Whew!
[SIGHS] I've been wearing this new brand
- of boxers lately, and...
- Nope.
Okay.
Saw your sister.
Yeah?
She's real mad at me.
At you? Why?
I neglected to tell her about
arresting you and Reese.
Oh. Right.
Well, for what it's worth,
I thought that was really cool of you.
Look, don't worry about it, okay?
She comes in real hot when she's angry,
but it... it... it fades.
I hope so.
It will.
Sam! What happened?
I-I...
- I completely tanked.
- [GROANS]
But at least I looked
good failing, right?
- [CHUCKLES]
- Ah.
So, thanks for the suit.
Yep. Let's keep the public
nudity to a minimum here.
Oh. Okay.
Actually, do you mind if I
just grab my... Thank you.
- My keys were... See?
- Keys, yeah.
Sam, do not worry about that job.
We're gonna get you a
better one, all right?
Come with me. I have a plan.
Uh, yeah. Thank you.
Okay. Let's go.
Oh. Thank you.
[BREATHES DEEPLY] All right.
Okay, before you say
anything, I am on the job.
I am helping that man find a job.
I know. I'm... I'm just
checking in. Okay?
[ALARM BEEPING]
Okay.
It has been 18 hours
since Amy kicked me out.
- Perfect.
- How... How is that perfect?
Well, Amy's white-hot anger has cooled
to a sort of white-warm anger.
Phase two begins... Emojis.
Little funny pictures that are
representations of emotions.
I know what an emoji is.
Well, this almost always
works, almost all the time.
When I forgot Reese's birthday,
it was unicorn emoji, poop emoji.
And then when I forgot
Amy's birthday, it...
Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait.
You forgot Amy's birthday?
Yup.
It... It's the same
day as your birthday.
Um... yeah. I was a jerk.
- Okay.
- Okay?
This... This seems, uh... wrong.
And dumb.
Well, you're wrong...
And dumb.
Okay. But I suppose I'm gonna
have to trust your judgment.
Yeah. The more time I
spend on this plane,
the more I realize I do
not understand humans.
Mm. I am right about this.
- You will see.
- Mm...
♪
- There you are.
- Hey.
Thanks.
Okay. So, you are in, um, marketing?
- Sales.
- Sales.
Actually, the same place for 25 years.
I mean, look at this.
Look at that résumé.
There's one thing on that résumé.
Mm.
This is very nice paper.
Yeah. Yeah, that's... that's linen.
Ooh. Mm.
- Nobody does this anymore, okay?
- Oh!
We need to modernize your job search.
Get you on job websites, Cast
as wide a net as possible.
Lemme take a shot at
your new résumé tonight.
Tomorrow you'll be a new man.
Wh... Why... Why are you doing this?
You don't even know me.
You need help. I'm helping.
Yeah, but... people don't do that.
I do.
♪
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Uh, come in.
- Thank you so much
- for letting me crash here.
- Yeah.
[SIGHS]
I just... I just couldn't
spend another night
with Mr. Bungles haunting my dreams.
What?
Oh, it's a, um... ferret.
Oh.
This isn't weird, right?
Me staying here? 'Cause
we're... We're good and...
No, no. It's not... It's
not weird at all, right?
- Yeah. Okay, so...
- Okay.
So, what should we do?
Should we play cards, order a pizza?
Ooh! I saw this video compilation
of newscasters fainting live on air.
We should watch it
right now. It's so funny.
Uh... I'm going out to
meet someone for dinner,
so you're kind of on your own.
[GASPS] Oh.
Oh.
Um... okay.
It's nothing big.
It's ju... It's... It's...
Oh. No. That's great.
That's great. You should be
meeting someone for dinner.
- I'm just... Sorry. I'm just gonna...
- Oh.
- That was... Okay. [CHUCKLES]
- Yeah, no, we all need dinner.
- It's... It's a delicious meal.
- Oh. Oh.
Well, have fun.
And eat healthy.
And good luck.
Yeah. Uh...
- You're good, right?
- I'm good, yeah.
- So...
- I'll be here, yeah.
- Okay.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
[DOOR CLOSES]
♪
Hey. Um...
So, I was thinking about
doing some pizza tonight.
Any topping requests? Veggie?
We could get crazy and maybe, you know,
throw some jalapeños on there. Reese.
Come on, you can't stay
mad at me forever.
I'm pretty sure I can.
Honestly, I don't know
what right you have
to be angry with me in the first place.
I'm sorry. What right I have?
I trusted you.
And you violated my privacy.
- You live under my roof.
- Well, lucky me!
You still have time to kick me
out, like you did with Kevin.
He didn't even do anything wrong.
Wait. [SCOFFS] Reese, are you serious?
He broke into a house and
had you playing lookout.
That's not what happened!
Okay, well, that's weird,
because Nate didn't correct me.
You know what, Mom?
Believe whatever you want,
'cause I don't care.
Neither do I!
♪
[SIGHS]
♪
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
Ahh.
Still no reply from Amy.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
Maybe I hit her with the smiley
face with the gritted teeth?
You know... like [BREATHES SHARPLY]
"Sorry."
Maybe. You think that'll work?
I mean...
she's got to forgive me eventually.
Right?
KRISTIN: So, yeah. Um...
Kristin's home. [BREATHES SHARPLY]
Well, you...
Well, maybe we should just, you know,
- check out her date...
- Oh.
- ... just to see if sh...
- Kevin.
Make sure that she...
- MAN: Yeah.
- KRISTIN: Yeah.
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
- [GASPS]
- Uh...
Did she see me?
Aah.
- [INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
- No, no. You're good. You're good.
- Okay.
- Oh!
He's handsome.
He's not that handsome.
- Mm, he is.
- Just give me a play-by-play.
So, they're just talking.
- [CHUCKLES] It was not good at all.
- Talking.
- No. I still...
- Oh!
What?
... you know, cool.
- Now they're making out.
- No! Really?
Gotcha. [LAUGHS]
No, she's not into him.
He's all looks, no books.
Oh, here she comes. Here she comes.
[YAWNS] Hi.
Hey.
How was your night?
Uh, it was good.
Good. Ohh.
I just was... reading books.
[BREATHES DEEPLY] You
know, if you wanted to,
like, bring your date
inside, I could have...
Oh, no, no. No, it wasn't that good.
Aw. Bummer.
I don't do that, you know.
Mm.
You and I the other night, that was...
That was an aberration for me.
Sure. I...
I got it.
You know what? This is weird.
It is so weird. But I'll
be out of here tomorrow.
- Okay, great.
- Okay.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, and, hey, you can close the curtains
if you're done looking out the window.
Will do. Yes.
Thank you for the couch. Sleep well.
- Good night.
- [DOOR CLOSES]
[POPS LIPS]
♪
Okay, open your eyes.
Welcome to the new you.
Wow!
What is all this?
Well, you held five different positions
at your old job, so I just...
I broke those out into
separate listings,
and I-I beefed up some other stuff.
And...
- Oh.
- ... I set you up on a jobs website.
[CHUCKLES]
Wh... T-This is amazing.
I've been at this so long by myself,
trying to support my
wife and kids, you know?
To have someone in my corner, it's...
- I just can't thank you enough.
- [CHUCKLES]
Well, thank me when the
offers start rolling in.
[LAUGHING] Yeah.
Okay, so...
- Ready?
- [KEYBOARD CLACKS]
There she goes.
You just applied to every
job within 100 miles,
and all of your contacts got
- your updated résumé.
- Wow.
What?
Yeah, that way, everyone
knows you're looking,
and they'll be able to keep
an eye out for you, as well.
No, no. No. No, no, no, no. Stop!
- Oh.
- What's going on?
Wh... What am I gonna do?
I got... I got to leave.
- I-I-I got to go home.
- Why? Why? Why? Why?
My wife does not know I've been fired!
[STAMMERS] She's gonna kill me!
♪
[CHUCKLES]
She's not actually gonna... kill him.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
♪
Sam? Hey.
Got your stuff.
Oh.
Hey. Yeah, thanks.
What happened?
Uh...
Yeah, Tracy kicked me out.
Because you lost your job?
That's kind of harsh.
Well, I-I've sort of been
laid off for a while, so...
Oh. How... How long?
Oh. A year?
You didn't tell your wife you've
been unemployed for a year?
And a half.
I think 18 months actually
might be more accurate.
Oh, man.
And I spent our entire life
savings covering it up.
- So that happened.
- Okay, now I want to kick you out.
I didn't want to worry her, okay?
I mean, I figured if I got a gig,
she wouldn't have to get upset. But then
three days turned into three weeks,
and then three months and...
Wait. How... how did you even
keep up this big of a lie?
Well, I'd get up at 6:00, get
ready for work as usual.
I'd drive into "the office,"
which was the IKEA cafeteria.
I'd look at the want ads,
eat the Swedish meatballs,
and be home by 6:00.
Wait. Why... Why do all this?
I mean, lots of people
lose their jobs. I did.
We had a deal.
She would give up her
career to raise the kids,
and I'd keep working, and...
She kept her part of the bargain, and...
If I can't keep up mine, then...
I'm worthless.
[SIGHS]
I just realized I-I don't
where I'm sleeping tonight.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
♪
Kevin.
Hey. Um...
Listen, I-I-I hate to do this,
but can I crash on your couch?
Come in.
[SIGHS] And can Sam crash on your
couch, too? You remember Sam?
- The guy I gave my suit to?
- Hey.
- Hey.
- [SIGHING] Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Hey.
Good.
Do I smell nachos?
Um...
So, Nate, this is a... a sweet place.
- You just move in?
- Six months ago.
Oh.
Yeah, I let my ex keep
the furniture after we split.
Sure, sure.
And you're just...
Taking the unpacking slow.
Well...
I only unpack something when I need it.
Ah. Nachos.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Oh.
All right. Here we go.
Ohh!
Here. One to...
- Oh, no. I'm okay. Yeah, thank you.
- No? Okay.
- Wow.
- So...
This is what divorce looks like.
Brutal.
Um, you know what?
Amy and I are this close
to patching things up,
so I will be out of here
before you know it.
- Maybe even tonight.
- [CHUCKLES] I might be a little longer.
Just so...
- Hey, good luck.
- [CELLPHONE BEEPING]
I've never seen Amy that mad.
Yeah. Thanks.
Hey! I got a hit!
What?
Yeah, yeah. On that...
That business website.
I got an interview tomorrow.
Creative director at an ad agency.
- Yeah.
- Yes.
Not exactly my wheel of expertise,
but they must have liked
something they saw
in my new résumé, huh?
- Kev, move.
- Oh, sorry.
ANNOUNCER: They weren't sure
he was gonna be able...
- ... to play at practice...
- Mmm.
... let alone that he'd show up tonight.
♪
Hello-o?
AMY: What do you want, Kevin?
Rocky road.
We're gonna talk until we
get to the bottom of this...
or the bottom of this.
No.
I'm not doing this with you, Kevin.
We're not kids anymore.
- You can't fix this with ice cream.
- Amy. Come on.
You know that we're gonna get
through this eventually, so...
I told you that this would happen.
I told you that I did not
want you pulling Reese
into the tornado that is your life,
and look what happened.
Exactly that.
Okay, I would never hurt Reese, okay?
Please, Kevin. You
would hurt anyone if...
- If?
- Kevin, no. Please, just... just go.
- Just, please just go.
- Look.
I-I-I know it got crazy,
and I'm sorry, okay?
But Reese and I have
gotten really close.
And sometimes I think
it's easier for her
to open up to me than... Than you.
You barely knew her name
until a few weeks ago.
That's... untrue.
Do you remember when we went to
visit you when Reese was 12?
She was so excited to see you.
And I was excited to see her.
Yeah, but not excited
enough to actually see her.
- I-I-I was working.
- Five days!
Five days we sat in that
hotel room waiting for you.
And we got a phone call...
"Hey, Aim, I'm sorry.
"I just got... I got
super slammed at work."
She was...
She was so crushed, Kevin.
- I should have written you off then!
- I...
I... [SIGHS]
I'm a different person now.
I wanted to believe that, Kevin. I did.
But it's never gonna happen.
And I'm never gonna let you
hurt Reese like that again.
So as much as it kills me,
we have to move on.
Without you.
♪
Uh, okay.
I...
I guess, uh...
Okay.
♪
♪
[DOOR CLOSES]
♪
- What are you doing here?
- I came to see you.
Reese, no. This is not a good idea.
I heard you talking to my mom.
She's being totally insane.
The worst thing that we can do right now
is talk behind your mother's back.
You know, she didn't even say
sorry for reading my journal.
[SIGHS] She was trying
to protect you, okay?
And I don't blame her.
You... Go to school.
Don't you have school?
Okay.
Well, ju... You don't have
to be mad at me, too.
No, I get it.
Reese, come on.
I'm ju...
Reese.
♪
♪
[SIGHS]
♪
Oh!
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
Okay, I feel like this
should go without saying,
but the bathroom is
private times for me.
Cool?
I take it the rocky
road wasn't a success.
[SIGHS] No, it wasn't.
But the good news is,
Sam's got a job interview,
and I'll get him there on time.
I don't care about the job right now.
Uh [CHUCKLES] I don't
believe that for a second.
That is all you care about.
You need to focus on your family.
The job can wait.
Mm, no.
That is the exact wrong thing to do.
I need to be all work all the time
until this whole thing is over with.
Eventually I'll find the
other 35 righteous,
and then I'll deal with Amy, and...
Hopefully we'll both still be alive.
That won't work.
That's the only thing that will work.
I can't tell Amy the real story, right?
- Right.
- Okay. [SPITS]
So I'll just be the Universe's
tool until my job is done.
Y-You can't do that, Kevin.
[CHUCKLES] I did that for 15 years.
I am great at that.
I kept my head down, I did a job
that I despised, and I did it well.
And how'd that turn out for you?
Not great, okay?
But who cares? This is what you want.
Not one bit.
Well, too bad.
This is what you're getting.
So let's get to work.
Look, Kevin,
you need your family.
I...
[KNOCK ON DOOR] SAM: Kevin?
[SIGHS]
Excuse me. I have work to do.
I need a favor, man, okay?
Oh, hey.
Hey.
I forgot my shoes.
- What?
- Yeah, I left them at the house.
And I need them for the interview.
Tracy won't let me in,
so do you think you could
pick them up for me?
Please? Please?
Gladly. I'm here to help.
Ah! Man, thanks.
- Thanks a lot, man.
- No problem.
Okay.
TRACY: I'm sorry. Who are you?
I'm a... a... a friend
of your husband's.
He has a big job interview
and asked me to stop and...
and get his shoes.
Is he all right?
He feels really bad and
wants to make things right.
You probably think I'm
a terrible person.
Me? No.
I think... I think you reacted
exactly how a normal person would react
to being lied to for a really long time.
What's the job?
It's an art director at some ad firm.
A little out of his field
of expertise, but...
Um, a lot out of it.
I was a graphic designer
before I had kids.
- Hm.
- I can say without a doubt,
Sam has the worst "eye" in all of Texas.
Well, uh, he's trying at least.
Maybe it'll... Maybe it'll work out.
I'll get you his shoes.
Okay.
Thank you very much.
[CELLPHONE BUZZING]
Hey. Aim.
AMY: Is Reese with you?
Um... no. She stopped by earlier.
- When?
- This morning be...
And then she left for school.
Well, she never showed up to school.
Oh. Um...
- Did you...
- She's not answering her cell.
I-I don't know what to do.
Okay. I'm... I'm sure she's fine.
[ENGINE STARTS]
Okay. I'm on my way, all right?
Okay, thanks, Tyler. Bye.
- [CELLPHONE BEEPS]
- She's not at the diner.
Look, in nearly all these cases,
the kid shows up after a couple hours.
Did you guys have a fight?
She got all angry because
I read her journal.
Oh.
I'm glad I did it.
Because it's clear to me that my brother
should not be around Reese. Ever.
Look, I'm sorry.
I should have told you
about Kevin and Reese.
But I think you're maybe being a
little harsh on your brother.
It's just that I've seen him
actually give a stranger
the clothes off his back.
And from what I hear, he does
that kind of thing all the time.
Great. Amazing.
A mentally unstable Mother Teresa.
Look, I'm just saying,
he's not a bad guy.
In his own weird way, he's
doing something good.
[HORN HONKING]
Oh, my God. What is
wrong with you people?
[HONKING CONTINUES]
You know you're not the police, right?
[SIGHS]
♪
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF]
Hey.
Okay, I drove past the park.
She wasn't there.
Who was the last person to see her?
We think you were. At Nate's place.
Wait. How'd she know you were there?
I don't know. She always
seems to know where I a...
[GASPS] Wait. That app.
She friended me on an app
so she could stalk me.
- What?
- Or track me. Follow me.
It... Not... Not important. Anyway...
- Well, can you track her?
- I think so.
- [BEEPING]
- Yep.
Where is she?
In the middle of nowhere.
There's her bike.
Reese!
Look at this place. It's disgusting.
Are you kidding? I went to like
20 parties here in high school.
What? What parties? I...
I didn't go to any parties.
Didn't you? The...
Uh, anyway, they weren't that fun.
Um, let's split up. You go
that way. I'll go around back.
All right.
Reese!
Reese!
♪
Reese!
Reese, where are you?!
Reese!
Reese?
AMY: Reese?
KEVIN: Ree...
Hey.
Reese, get down here right now.
I'm not coming down.
Reese, what are you doing here?
This is where I come to think.
You wouldn't know that
because I didn't write it in my journal.
Okay, I-I should have never done that.
I promise you that I will
never break your trust
like that again. I'm sorry.
I mean, I would've read it.
- If it was me.
- Kevin, shut up.
And you would've, too, Reese.
- No, I wouldn't.
- Mm-hmm.
Just like I read Amy's
diary in fifth grade.
- What?
- Don't get upset. It was...
It... It was super boring.
But, look, I'm... I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I've been doing things
that make you want to follow me.
And I'm sorry that I've
been keeping secrets.
All... All I ever wanted
was just to come home
and live with my older sister.
Excu... Two minutes older.
Two minutes older.
My much, much older sister.
But I've been things like the
old Kevin used to do things.
And I'm not...
I'm not the old Kevin anymore.
The old Kevin had a lot of cool things.
He had a cool car and a great apartment.
But he didn't have you guys.
And I'm... I am... I'm
talking in the third person.
- Yeah. A lot.
- Right.
I-I need you guys, though. I really do.
I-I-I can't do this without you.
Reese.
Please, just come down here.
♪
I have some demands.
All right.
You have to let Kevin come home.
Agreed.
I can live with that.
My stuff
is my stuff.
You can't come into my room
or look at anything
without my permission.
Agreed.
[CHUCKLES]
- I want a dog.
- Reese...
And I want my curfew to be midnight.
- Whoa.
- Oh, okay.
Well, why don't you enjoy living up here
in this nasty warehouse?
Okay, I'm coming.
[GRUNTS, SCREAMS]
Mom! Hang on!
[SCREAMS]
♪
I don't understand.
♪
Reese.
Let's, uh, go home.
♪
♪
I'll just call Emma to see
what I missed at school.
Good idea.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
What? Forehead zit?
How'd you do that?
Do what?
You were 10 feet away from Reese.
Uh...
Wh... That's... What
are you talking about?
I know what I saw.
What? What did you see?
♪
Nothing.
I don't know.
Okay.
- Hey, your shoes are muddy.
- Hmm?
- Take them off.
- [GASPS] Oh, no!
Oh! Ah! Shoes!
- What?
- Shoes!
Okay, I-I'll be back.
I ju... It's the shoes.
- Kevin.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, no. No, you don't have the sho...
No, no, no. It's okay. I
can't get this job with...
TRACY: Sam.
Tracy. Wh...
What are you doing here?
I thought I might steal
this job from you.
Wait. No.
Tracy, that is not our deal, okay?
New deal. Starting today.
[SIGHS] Great.
My failure is complete.
No, you can't think of it like that.
You guys were making the
mistake that I've been making.
Doing the same thing you've always done
because it used to work, but...
Sometimes you gotta make a change.
You know, the deal wasn't that you work
and take care of me and the kids.
I want this.
I'm excited for this.
Yeah?
Are you Tracy?
- Yes.
- Come on in.
You guys would be crazy not to hire her.
Well, all right. Good to know.
♪
Ah. She looks pretty happy.
[CHUCKLES] Yep.
I'm gonna... I'm gonna dry-clean this
suit. I'll get it back to you ASAP.
Oh. No, don't even worry about it. Okay?
You just... You keep it. [CHUCKLES]
- Thanks again.
- Yeah.
- All right, man.
- All right.
[PRINTER CLICKS]
Oh, hey, this just fell...
[PRINTER CLICKING]
♪
[GASPING]
♪
♪
[CLEARS THROAT]
I wanna clarify something.
What is your job again?
My... My job?
Yeah, it's to protect me, right?
That's what you're supposed to do?
Where are you going with this, Kevin?
Well, I'm wondering if I'm on, like,
a friends-and-family plan.
Like, unlimited rescues for
me and my family members.
Do you have a problem
with something I did?
No. I just wanna understand.
Because you came really
close to revealing yourself.
I'm here to make sure you do your job.
That's all.
And you seem most effective
when you're with your family.
So as far as I'm concerned,
I've done my part.
Now, are you doing yours?
Well, I think I had a vision.
But it was different.
I just got these, like...
Aah!
That's all the things I've seen so far.
- [CLEARS THROAT]
- How...
Right.
Hey, who even took this picture?
That's so weird.
Oh, you... you never told me about this.
I've never been there.
That is completely new.
Oh, we have to find out where this is.
That's where you'll find
the next righteous person.
Huh.
[GASPS]
I know where this is.
Asia.
- Asia.
- Yeah.
[CLICKS TONGUE, SIGHS]
Do you know how big Asia is?
Do you know how many
people live in Asia?
How would I know that?
We need more specific
answers than that, Kevin.
Okay, well, um, why do I always have
to come up with the ideas, you know?
I just contributed. Now it's your turn.
Stop talking. I need silence.
- I want silence.
- Well, I just think you could provide
some information every once in a while.
I still hear you talking?
Why are you talking?
(Probably) Saves the World"...
- REESE: I wouldn't touch it!
- [EXPLOSION, KEVIN SCREAMING]
- I'm a messenger from God.
- Oh, good.
I'm here to guide and protect you.
- Who are you talking to?
- She can't see me.
In every generation, there
are 36 righteous souls.
The only job you have in life
for the foreseeable future
is to build up your spiritual powers
through acts of kindness
and selflessness.
After you've done so,
God is gonna show you
how to find the other righteous,
and then you'll anoint
them with an embrace.
Did that meteor give you superpowers?
KEVIN: Why would you even ask that?
Because I've seen weird stuff.
That's my journal.
When exactly were you gonna tell
me that you'd been arrested?
♪
You need to go upstairs,
pack your bags, and get out.
It's time.
Tell her.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
Amy.
I am the last of the
36 righteous on Earth.
What the hell are you talking about?
It's true, Amy.
Oh, my God.
Who are you?
She's an angel.
Angels are a human construct.
Let's just say...
I'm a warrior for God.
And so is Kevin.
♪
_
♪
I don't see her.
She's right there.
Blue pantsuit.
♪
Jessica Yamamoto?
Yes?
[CHOIR VOCALIZING]
One down.
34 to go.
- _
- ♪
- [INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
- MAN: Come on!
Get him!
Yeah!
♪
MAN #2: Ooh!
WOMAN: Come on!
[GRUNTING]
♪
You die tonight!
♪
MAN #3: Take him down!
Whoo!
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
♪
[GRUNTS]
[CHOIR VOCALIZING]
All right, Kevin. This is it.
This is the last of the 36 righteous.
Are you ready?
I've been ready for this my whole life.
_
♪
♪
Hello, Yuri.
♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
You have done it, Kevin.
You have saved the world.
[FIREWORKS EXPLODING]
♪
[SIGHS]
Thank you, Kevin.
Now I can go home.
Bye!
Bye!
Bye!
AMY: Kevin. Kevin.
Kevin!
Did you hear anything I just said?
Uh...
Get. Out.
♪
Ahh! Yeah!
Thanks for letting me crash here.
I just need to get out of
Amy's hair for a couple days.
Ah, man, are you kidding me?!
- [CHUCKLES]
- Welcome to...
The Medina House.
Ah! All right! Eh?
Wow, that is a big cage.
[CHUCKLES] That's Mr. Bungles' house!
He's my ferret.
- Ferret?
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, he's not in there right now.
- Oh.
Sometimes he goes on these, like,
adventures around the house.
- Oh.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Oh.
- It's been a few weeks now.
Great.
Must be getting hungry!
Don't let your fingers hang
off the couch when you sleep.
Yeah. [LAUGHS] That's a good...
Really.
Don't.
[MR. BUNGLES SQUEAKS, SCAMPERING]
[GRUNTS]
- [SQUEAKING CONTINUES]
- [GASPS]
♪
[SQUEAKING STOPS]
♪
- YVETTE: You okay?
- [GASPS, SIGHS]
Yep, just making a giant rodent
doesn't gnaw my fingers off.
No, I mean with your sister.
That fight seemed bad.
Oh. We've had worse.
She'll get over it.
Okay.
As long as it doesn't distract
from whatever task the
Universe presents us.
It won't.
What you witnessed
was the initial "white-hot anger"
phase of our fight.
Any attempt at conversation
during this period
would be a waste of time.
Once she cools down,
the next phase will begin.
- The next phase?
- Mm-hmm.
I got a whole system to deal with it.
It always brings us closer together.
- [CHUCKLES]
- [BREATHES DEEPLY]
I'll admit, the human
capacity for forgiveness
is incredible. But still...
Okay, look, look,
you're the expert at...
[STAMMERING]
You're the expert at whatever
you're the expert at.
And I'm the expert at fighting
with my twin sister, okay?
Just trust me.
If you say so.
[GASPS]
Oh, my God. What is that?
Where? Where is it? Where?
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
Was that a joke?
Was that a joke? That's real nice.
♪
AMY: Reese?
♪
Reese, I know you're awake.
You never sleep on your side.
♪
Look, it's my job to keep you safe.
I was worried, and...
Well, it turns out I had
a right to be worried.
I'm sorry if that upset you.
But I'm not sorry about what I did.
I hope you understand that.
♪
I love you.
♪
♪
[IMITATES ROOSTER CROWING]
- [GASPS]
- Rise and shine, buddy!
Ohh. Good morning.
Mom's got breakfast going,
so I hope you're hungry.
Ah. I am.
I could eat a...
Ah!
That's bad-ass, man!
You even sleep for success.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
- Yeah.
- Ooh! Very dapper!
Did the Universe dress me?
Oh. Like a little Ken doll.
Well, I'm not wearing this.
The best part about getting
fired was no more monkey suit.
Mm.
♪
[BREATHES SHARPLY]
[SIGHS]
Great.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
♪
It's a job listing.
"District marketing manager."
Five years of experience.
"Working knowledge of
PowerPoint required."
The Universe wants me to get a job?
I think it's about time. Don't you?
♪
[WHISTLING]
[HORN HONKING]
[HONKING CONTINUES]
What the hell?
You know, it's generally the
police who pull civilians over.
Who the hell do you think you are?
Whoa. Slow down.
Or what? You'll arrest me?
[SCOFFS] Like you arrested my daughter?
[SIGHS]
- Amy, I'm sorry.
- When were you planning on telling me?
On her second offense?
- I thought I was helping.
- Helping who?
My brother get away with a crime?
- No charges were filed.
- That is...
That doesn't make a difference.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry."
He's sorry!
Your rear taillight's out.
But I'm gonna let that slide.
♪
[VEHICLE DOOR CLOSES]
[ENGINE STARTS]
[VEHICLE DEPARTS]
Mm.
[HUMMING]
It's locked.
They're not open for
another five minutes.
Ah, thanks.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
[CHUCKLES]
Hey, that's a nice suit.
Ah. You to...
Bob Costas Collection?
Yeah.
Apparently so.
How long you been on the hunt?
For a job? Oh.
An hour and... four minutes?
- [LAUGHS]
- [LAUGHS]
Oh, man. You are a rookie.
You... You might as well
go get a cheese sandwich
and save yourself some time,
'cause this job is mine!
- Okay.
- Ho ho!
Yes, I can feel it.
It's mine!
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
I-It'll be okay.
Oh, my God. I...
[GROANS]
You know, it... It... It doesn't matter.
I wouldn't have got this job anyway.
Might as well just sell the house...
Wait. I think I know what I'm here for.
[CHUCKLES]
Huh.
♪
Uh, I don't know what to say, man.
You are amazing.
Just, uh, nail the interview.
And do it quickly, 'cause
it's a little chilly.
Okay, got it. Yeah. Yeah.
- M-My hair?
- Looks great.
- Good luck!
- All right.
- I'll be in my truck!
- Okay. Thanks, man.
Thank you.
♪
[DOOR RATTLING]
It's locked.
And the keys are in the suit!
Hi.
Enjoyin' the day.
♪
[DOOR RATTLING]
[SIREN CHIRPING]
♪
♪
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF]
♪
Nate. [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
Got a call about a naked loitering guy.
So shocked it's you.
Uh... I let someone borrow my
clothes for a job interview,
and my car keys were in the pocket.
[CHUCKLES] So...
Yeah, I mean, you get it.
Not even a little.
Well, um, I promise that it's true.
And if you wait with me, I'll prove it.
- Fine.
- [SIGHS]
Okay.
Whew!
[SIGHS] I've been wearing this new brand
- of boxers lately, and...
- Nope.
Okay.
Saw your sister.
Yeah?
She's real mad at me.
At you? Why?
I neglected to tell her about
arresting you and Reese.
Oh. Right.
Well, for what it's worth,
I thought that was really cool of you.
Look, don't worry about it, okay?
She comes in real hot when she's angry,
but it... it... it fades.
I hope so.
It will.
Sam! What happened?
I-I...
- I completely tanked.
- [GROANS]
But at least I looked
good failing, right?
- [CHUCKLES]
- Ah.
So, thanks for the suit.
Yep. Let's keep the public
nudity to a minimum here.
Oh. Okay.
Actually, do you mind if I
just grab my... Thank you.
- My keys were... See?
- Keys, yeah.
Sam, do not worry about that job.
We're gonna get you a
better one, all right?
Come with me. I have a plan.
Uh, yeah. Thank you.
Okay. Let's go.
Oh. Thank you.
[BREATHES DEEPLY] All right.
Okay, before you say
anything, I am on the job.
I am helping that man find a job.
I know. I'm... I'm just
checking in. Okay?
[ALARM BEEPING]
Okay.
It has been 18 hours
since Amy kicked me out.
- Perfect.
- How... How is that perfect?
Well, Amy's white-hot anger has cooled
to a sort of white-warm anger.
Phase two begins... Emojis.
Little funny pictures that are
representations of emotions.
I know what an emoji is.
Well, this almost always
works, almost all the time.
When I forgot Reese's birthday,
it was unicorn emoji, poop emoji.
And then when I forgot
Amy's birthday, it...
Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait.
You forgot Amy's birthday?
Yup.
It... It's the same
day as your birthday.
Um... yeah. I was a jerk.
- Okay.
- Okay?
This... This seems, uh... wrong.
And dumb.
Well, you're wrong...
And dumb.
Okay. But I suppose I'm gonna
have to trust your judgment.
Yeah. The more time I
spend on this plane,
the more I realize I do
not understand humans.
Mm. I am right about this.
- You will see.
- Mm...
♪
- There you are.
- Hey.
Thanks.
Okay. So, you are in, um, marketing?
- Sales.
- Sales.
Actually, the same place for 25 years.
I mean, look at this.
Look at that résumé.
There's one thing on that résumé.
Mm.
This is very nice paper.
Yeah. Yeah, that's... that's linen.
Ooh. Mm.
- Nobody does this anymore, okay?
- Oh!
We need to modernize your job search.
Get you on job websites, Cast
as wide a net as possible.
Lemme take a shot at
your new résumé tonight.
Tomorrow you'll be a new man.
Wh... Why... Why are you doing this?
You don't even know me.
You need help. I'm helping.
Yeah, but... people don't do that.
I do.
♪
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Uh, come in.
- Thank you so much
- for letting me crash here.
- Yeah.
[SIGHS]
I just... I just couldn't
spend another night
with Mr. Bungles haunting my dreams.
What?
Oh, it's a, um... ferret.
Oh.
This isn't weird, right?
Me staying here? 'Cause
we're... We're good and...
No, no. It's not... It's
not weird at all, right?
- Yeah. Okay, so...
- Okay.
So, what should we do?
Should we play cards, order a pizza?
Ooh! I saw this video compilation
of newscasters fainting live on air.
We should watch it
right now. It's so funny.
Uh... I'm going out to
meet someone for dinner,
so you're kind of on your own.
[GASPS] Oh.
Oh.
Um... okay.
It's nothing big.
It's ju... It's... It's...
Oh. No. That's great.
That's great. You should be
meeting someone for dinner.
- I'm just... Sorry. I'm just gonna...
- Oh.
- That was... Okay. [CHUCKLES]
- Yeah, no, we all need dinner.
- It's... It's a delicious meal.
- Oh. Oh.
Well, have fun.
And eat healthy.
And good luck.
Yeah. Uh...
- You're good, right?
- I'm good, yeah.
- So...
- I'll be here, yeah.
- Okay.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
[DOOR CLOSES]
♪
Hey. Um...
So, I was thinking about
doing some pizza tonight.
Any topping requests? Veggie?
We could get crazy and maybe, you know,
throw some jalapeños on there. Reese.
Come on, you can't stay
mad at me forever.
I'm pretty sure I can.
Honestly, I don't know
what right you have
to be angry with me in the first place.
I'm sorry. What right I have?
I trusted you.
And you violated my privacy.
- You live under my roof.
- Well, lucky me!
You still have time to kick me
out, like you did with Kevin.
He didn't even do anything wrong.
Wait. [SCOFFS] Reese, are you serious?
He broke into a house and
had you playing lookout.
That's not what happened!
Okay, well, that's weird,
because Nate didn't correct me.
You know what, Mom?
Believe whatever you want,
'cause I don't care.
Neither do I!
♪
[SIGHS]
♪
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
Ahh.
Still no reply from Amy.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
Maybe I hit her with the smiley
face with the gritted teeth?
You know... like [BREATHES SHARPLY]
"Sorry."
Maybe. You think that'll work?
I mean...
she's got to forgive me eventually.
Right?
KRISTIN: So, yeah. Um...
Kristin's home. [BREATHES SHARPLY]
Well, you...
Well, maybe we should just, you know,
- check out her date...
- Oh.
- ... just to see if sh...
- Kevin.
Make sure that she...
- MAN: Yeah.
- KRISTIN: Yeah.
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
- [GASPS]
- Uh...
Did she see me?
Aah.
- [INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
- No, no. You're good. You're good.
- Okay.
- Oh!
He's handsome.
He's not that handsome.
- Mm, he is.
- Just give me a play-by-play.
So, they're just talking.
- [CHUCKLES] It was not good at all.
- Talking.
- No. I still...
- Oh!
What?
... you know, cool.
- Now they're making out.
- No! Really?
Gotcha. [LAUGHS]
No, she's not into him.
He's all looks, no books.
Oh, here she comes. Here she comes.
[YAWNS] Hi.
Hey.
How was your night?
Uh, it was good.
Good. Ohh.
I just was... reading books.
[BREATHES DEEPLY] You
know, if you wanted to,
like, bring your date
inside, I could have...
Oh, no, no. No, it wasn't that good.
Aw. Bummer.
I don't do that, you know.
Mm.
You and I the other night, that was...
That was an aberration for me.
Sure. I...
I got it.
You know what? This is weird.
It is so weird. But I'll
be out of here tomorrow.
- Okay, great.
- Okay.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, and, hey, you can close the curtains
if you're done looking out the window.
Will do. Yes.
Thank you for the couch. Sleep well.
- Good night.
- [DOOR CLOSES]
[POPS LIPS]
♪
Okay, open your eyes.
Welcome to the new you.
Wow!
What is all this?
Well, you held five different positions
at your old job, so I just...
I broke those out into
separate listings,
and I-I beefed up some other stuff.
And...
- Oh.
- ... I set you up on a jobs website.
[CHUCKLES]
Wh... T-This is amazing.
I've been at this so long by myself,
trying to support my
wife and kids, you know?
To have someone in my corner, it's...
- I just can't thank you enough.
- [CHUCKLES]
Well, thank me when the
offers start rolling in.
[LAUGHING] Yeah.
Okay, so...
- Ready?
- [KEYBOARD CLACKS]
There she goes.
You just applied to every
job within 100 miles,
and all of your contacts got
- your updated résumé.
- Wow.
What?
Yeah, that way, everyone
knows you're looking,
and they'll be able to keep
an eye out for you, as well.
No, no. No. No, no, no, no. Stop!
- Oh.
- What's going on?
Wh... What am I gonna do?
I got... I got to leave.
- I-I-I got to go home.
- Why? Why? Why? Why?
My wife does not know I've been fired!
[STAMMERS] She's gonna kill me!
♪
[CHUCKLES]
She's not actually gonna... kill him.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
♪
Sam? Hey.
Got your stuff.
Oh.
Hey. Yeah, thanks.
What happened?
Uh...
Yeah, Tracy kicked me out.
Because you lost your job?
That's kind of harsh.
Well, I-I've sort of been
laid off for a while, so...
Oh. How... How long?
Oh. A year?
You didn't tell your wife you've
been unemployed for a year?
And a half.
I think 18 months actually
might be more accurate.
Oh, man.
And I spent our entire life
savings covering it up.
- So that happened.
- Okay, now I want to kick you out.
I didn't want to worry her, okay?
I mean, I figured if I got a gig,
she wouldn't have to get upset. But then
three days turned into three weeks,
and then three months and...
Wait. How... how did you even
keep up this big of a lie?
Well, I'd get up at 6:00, get
ready for work as usual.
I'd drive into "the office,"
which was the IKEA cafeteria.
I'd look at the want ads,
eat the Swedish meatballs,
and be home by 6:00.
Wait. Why... Why do all this?
I mean, lots of people
lose their jobs. I did.
We had a deal.
She would give up her
career to raise the kids,
and I'd keep working, and...
She kept her part of the bargain, and...
If I can't keep up mine, then...
I'm worthless.
[SIGHS]
I just realized I-I don't
where I'm sleeping tonight.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
♪
Kevin.
Hey. Um...
Listen, I-I-I hate to do this,
but can I crash on your couch?
Come in.
[SIGHS] And can Sam crash on your
couch, too? You remember Sam?
- The guy I gave my suit to?
- Hey.
- Hey.
- [SIGHING] Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Hey.
Good.
Do I smell nachos?
Um...
So, Nate, this is a... a sweet place.
- You just move in?
- Six months ago.
Oh.
Yeah, I let my ex keep
the furniture after we split.
Sure, sure.
And you're just...
Taking the unpacking slow.
Well...
I only unpack something when I need it.
Ah. Nachos.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Oh.
All right. Here we go.
Ohh!
Here. One to...
- Oh, no. I'm okay. Yeah, thank you.
- No? Okay.
- Wow.
- So...
This is what divorce looks like.
Brutal.
Um, you know what?
Amy and I are this close
to patching things up,
so I will be out of here
before you know it.
- Maybe even tonight.
- [CHUCKLES] I might be a little longer.
Just so...
- Hey, good luck.
- [CELLPHONE BEEPING]
I've never seen Amy that mad.
Yeah. Thanks.
Hey! I got a hit!
What?
Yeah, yeah. On that...
That business website.
I got an interview tomorrow.
Creative director at an ad agency.
- Yeah.
- Yes.
Not exactly my wheel of expertise,
but they must have liked
something they saw
in my new résumé, huh?
- Kev, move.
- Oh, sorry.
ANNOUNCER: They weren't sure
he was gonna be able...
- ... to play at practice...
- Mmm.
... let alone that he'd show up tonight.
♪
Hello-o?
AMY: What do you want, Kevin?
Rocky road.
We're gonna talk until we
get to the bottom of this...
or the bottom of this.
No.
I'm not doing this with you, Kevin.
We're not kids anymore.
- You can't fix this with ice cream.
- Amy. Come on.
You know that we're gonna get
through this eventually, so...
I told you that this would happen.
I told you that I did not
want you pulling Reese
into the tornado that is your life,
and look what happened.
Exactly that.
Okay, I would never hurt Reese, okay?
Please, Kevin. You
would hurt anyone if...
- If?
- Kevin, no. Please, just... just go.
- Just, please just go.
- Look.
I-I-I know it got crazy,
and I'm sorry, okay?
But Reese and I have
gotten really close.
And sometimes I think
it's easier for her
to open up to me than... Than you.
You barely knew her name
until a few weeks ago.
That's... untrue.
Do you remember when we went to
visit you when Reese was 12?
She was so excited to see you.
And I was excited to see her.
Yeah, but not excited
enough to actually see her.
- I-I-I was working.
- Five days!
Five days we sat in that
hotel room waiting for you.
And we got a phone call...
"Hey, Aim, I'm sorry.
"I just got... I got
super slammed at work."
She was...
She was so crushed, Kevin.
- I should have written you off then!
- I...
I... [SIGHS]
I'm a different person now.
I wanted to believe that, Kevin. I did.
But it's never gonna happen.
And I'm never gonna let you
hurt Reese like that again.
So as much as it kills me,
we have to move on.
Without you.
♪
Uh, okay.
I...
I guess, uh...
Okay.
♪
♪
[DOOR CLOSES]
♪
- What are you doing here?
- I came to see you.
Reese, no. This is not a good idea.
I heard you talking to my mom.
She's being totally insane.
The worst thing that we can do right now
is talk behind your mother's back.
You know, she didn't even say
sorry for reading my journal.
[SIGHS] She was trying
to protect you, okay?
And I don't blame her.
You... Go to school.
Don't you have school?
Okay.
Well, ju... You don't have
to be mad at me, too.
No, I get it.
Reese, come on.
I'm ju...
Reese.
♪
♪
[SIGHS]
♪
Oh!
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
Okay, I feel like this
should go without saying,
but the bathroom is
private times for me.
Cool?
I take it the rocky
road wasn't a success.
[SIGHS] No, it wasn't.
But the good news is,
Sam's got a job interview,
and I'll get him there on time.
I don't care about the job right now.
Uh [CHUCKLES] I don't
believe that for a second.
That is all you care about.
You need to focus on your family.
The job can wait.
Mm, no.
That is the exact wrong thing to do.
I need to be all work all the time
until this whole thing is over with.
Eventually I'll find the
other 35 righteous,
and then I'll deal with Amy, and...
Hopefully we'll both still be alive.
That won't work.
That's the only thing that will work.
I can't tell Amy the real story, right?
- Right.
- Okay. [SPITS]
So I'll just be the Universe's
tool until my job is done.
Y-You can't do that, Kevin.
[CHUCKLES] I did that for 15 years.
I am great at that.
I kept my head down, I did a job
that I despised, and I did it well.
And how'd that turn out for you?
Not great, okay?
But who cares? This is what you want.
Not one bit.
Well, too bad.
This is what you're getting.
So let's get to work.
Look, Kevin,
you need your family.
I...
[KNOCK ON DOOR] SAM: Kevin?
[SIGHS]
Excuse me. I have work to do.
I need a favor, man, okay?
Oh, hey.
Hey.
I forgot my shoes.
- What?
- Yeah, I left them at the house.
And I need them for the interview.
Tracy won't let me in,
so do you think you could
pick them up for me?
Please? Please?
Gladly. I'm here to help.
Ah! Man, thanks.
- Thanks a lot, man.
- No problem.
Okay.
TRACY: I'm sorry. Who are you?
I'm a... a... a friend
of your husband's.
He has a big job interview
and asked me to stop and...
and get his shoes.
Is he all right?
He feels really bad and
wants to make things right.
You probably think I'm
a terrible person.
Me? No.
I think... I think you reacted
exactly how a normal person would react
to being lied to for a really long time.
What's the job?
It's an art director at some ad firm.
A little out of his field
of expertise, but...
Um, a lot out of it.
I was a graphic designer
before I had kids.
- Hm.
- I can say without a doubt,
Sam has the worst "eye" in all of Texas.
Well, uh, he's trying at least.
Maybe it'll... Maybe it'll work out.
I'll get you his shoes.
Okay.
Thank you very much.
[CELLPHONE BUZZING]
Hey. Aim.
AMY: Is Reese with you?
Um... no. She stopped by earlier.
- When?
- This morning be...
And then she left for school.
Well, she never showed up to school.
Oh. Um...
- Did you...
- She's not answering her cell.
I-I don't know what to do.
Okay. I'm... I'm sure she's fine.
[ENGINE STARTS]
Okay. I'm on my way, all right?
Okay, thanks, Tyler. Bye.
- [CELLPHONE BEEPS]
- She's not at the diner.
Look, in nearly all these cases,
the kid shows up after a couple hours.
Did you guys have a fight?
She got all angry because
I read her journal.
Oh.
I'm glad I did it.
Because it's clear to me that my brother
should not be around Reese. Ever.
Look, I'm sorry.
I should have told you
about Kevin and Reese.
But I think you're maybe being a
little harsh on your brother.
It's just that I've seen him
actually give a stranger
the clothes off his back.
And from what I hear, he does
that kind of thing all the time.
Great. Amazing.
A mentally unstable Mother Teresa.
Look, I'm just saying,
he's not a bad guy.
In his own weird way, he's
doing something good.
[HORN HONKING]
Oh, my God. What is
wrong with you people?
[HONKING CONTINUES]
You know you're not the police, right?
[SIGHS]
♪
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF]
Hey.
Okay, I drove past the park.
She wasn't there.
Who was the last person to see her?
We think you were. At Nate's place.
Wait. How'd she know you were there?
I don't know. She always
seems to know where I a...
[GASPS] Wait. That app.
She friended me on an app
so she could stalk me.
- What?
- Or track me. Follow me.
It... Not... Not important. Anyway...
- Well, can you track her?
- I think so.
- [BEEPING]
- Yep.
Where is she?
In the middle of nowhere.
There's her bike.
Reese!
Look at this place. It's disgusting.
Are you kidding? I went to like
20 parties here in high school.
What? What parties? I...
I didn't go to any parties.
Didn't you? The...
Uh, anyway, they weren't that fun.
Um, let's split up. You go
that way. I'll go around back.
All right.
Reese!
Reese!
♪
Reese!
Reese, where are you?!
Reese!
Reese?
AMY: Reese?
KEVIN: Ree...
Hey.
Reese, get down here right now.
I'm not coming down.
Reese, what are you doing here?
This is where I come to think.
You wouldn't know that
because I didn't write it in my journal.
Okay, I-I should have never done that.
I promise you that I will
never break your trust
like that again. I'm sorry.
I mean, I would've read it.
- If it was me.
- Kevin, shut up.
And you would've, too, Reese.
- No, I wouldn't.
- Mm-hmm.
Just like I read Amy's
diary in fifth grade.
- What?
- Don't get upset. It was...
It... It was super boring.
But, look, I'm... I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I've been doing things
that make you want to follow me.
And I'm sorry that I've
been keeping secrets.
All... All I ever wanted
was just to come home
and live with my older sister.
Excu... Two minutes older.
Two minutes older.
My much, much older sister.
But I've been things like the
old Kevin used to do things.
And I'm not...
I'm not the old Kevin anymore.
The old Kevin had a lot of cool things.
He had a cool car and a great apartment.
But he didn't have you guys.
And I'm... I am... I'm
talking in the third person.
- Yeah. A lot.
- Right.
I-I need you guys, though. I really do.
I-I-I can't do this without you.
Reese.
Please, just come down here.
♪
I have some demands.
All right.
You have to let Kevin come home.
Agreed.
I can live with that.
My stuff
is my stuff.
You can't come into my room
or look at anything
without my permission.
Agreed.
[CHUCKLES]
- I want a dog.
- Reese...
And I want my curfew to be midnight.
- Whoa.
- Oh, okay.
Well, why don't you enjoy living up here
in this nasty warehouse?
Okay, I'm coming.
[GRUNTS, SCREAMS]
Mom! Hang on!
[SCREAMS]
♪
I don't understand.
♪
Reese.
Let's, uh, go home.
♪
♪
I'll just call Emma to see
what I missed at school.
Good idea.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
What? Forehead zit?
How'd you do that?
Do what?
You were 10 feet away from Reese.
Uh...
Wh... That's... What
are you talking about?
I know what I saw.
What? What did you see?
♪
Nothing.
I don't know.
Okay.
- Hey, your shoes are muddy.
- Hmm?
- Take them off.
- [GASPS] Oh, no!
Oh! Ah! Shoes!
- What?
- Shoes!
Okay, I-I'll be back.
I ju... It's the shoes.
- Kevin.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, no. No, you don't have the sho...
No, no, no. It's okay. I
can't get this job with...
TRACY: Sam.
Tracy. Wh...
What are you doing here?
I thought I might steal
this job from you.
Wait. No.
Tracy, that is not our deal, okay?
New deal. Starting today.
[SIGHS] Great.
My failure is complete.
No, you can't think of it like that.
You guys were making the
mistake that I've been making.
Doing the same thing you've always done
because it used to work, but...
Sometimes you gotta make a change.
You know, the deal wasn't that you work
and take care of me and the kids.
I want this.
I'm excited for this.
Yeah?
Are you Tracy?
- Yes.
- Come on in.
You guys would be crazy not to hire her.
Well, all right. Good to know.
♪
Ah. She looks pretty happy.
[CHUCKLES] Yep.
I'm gonna... I'm gonna dry-clean this
suit. I'll get it back to you ASAP.
Oh. No, don't even worry about it. Okay?
You just... You keep it. [CHUCKLES]
- Thanks again.
- Yeah.
- All right, man.
- All right.
[PRINTER CLICKS]
Oh, hey, this just fell...
[PRINTER CLICKING]
♪
[GASPING]
♪
♪
[CLEARS THROAT]
I wanna clarify something.
What is your job again?
My... My job?
Yeah, it's to protect me, right?
That's what you're supposed to do?
Where are you going with this, Kevin?
Well, I'm wondering if I'm on, like,
a friends-and-family plan.
Like, unlimited rescues for
me and my family members.
Do you have a problem
with something I did?
No. I just wanna understand.
Because you came really
close to revealing yourself.
I'm here to make sure you do your job.
That's all.
And you seem most effective
when you're with your family.
So as far as I'm concerned,
I've done my part.
Now, are you doing yours?
Well, I think I had a vision.
But it was different.
I just got these, like...
Aah!
That's all the things I've seen so far.
- [CLEARS THROAT]
- How...
Right.
Hey, who even took this picture?
That's so weird.
Oh, you... you never told me about this.
I've never been there.
That is completely new.
Oh, we have to find out where this is.
That's where you'll find
the next righteous person.
Huh.
[GASPS]
I know where this is.
Asia.
- Asia.
- Yeah.
[CLICKS TONGUE, SIGHS]
Do you know how big Asia is?
Do you know how many
people live in Asia?
How would I know that?
We need more specific
answers than that, Kevin.
Okay, well, um, why do I always have
to come up with the ideas, you know?
I just contributed. Now it's your turn.
Stop talking. I need silence.
- I want silence.
- Well, I just think you could provide
some information every once in a while.
I still hear you talking?
Why are you talking?