Kevin (Probably) Saves the World (2017–…): Season 1, Episode 7 - Dave - full transcript

Previously on "Kevin
(Probably) Saves the World"...

- I'm a messenger from God.
- Oh, good.

I'm here to guide and protect you.

- Who are you talking to?
- She can't see me.

In every generation,
there are 36 righteous souls.

The only job you have in life
for the foreseeable future

is to build up your spiritual powers

through acts of kindness
and selflessness.

After you've done so,
God is gonna show you

how to find the other Righteous.

We have to find out where this is.

That's where you'll find
the next righteous person.

You've been here this whole time?

No, I've been in conference
with my colleagues.

They're not really feeling
the mission anymore.

We still have a job to do.


How'd you do that?

I... Sorr... What are you talking about?

KEVIN: It all started when
I saw the butterflies.

And then I wound up in some lake.

After that came the red masks,

and there was mariachi music, too.

Still don't know how that fits in.

One by one,

the universe gave us clues...

Clues that will lead us to

our first righteous soul.

- Nice work, right?
- Mm.

What? You don't like it?

Well, all you did was take the photos

and pin them up with yarn.

Y... [SIGHS]

No, this is a murder board. [SCOFFS]

What's a murder board?

It's what detectives on TV use

to... to solve crimes and nail perps.

Have you never seen a cop show?

I don't watch television.

That... mm.

Well, that is just gross.

We have all the pieces.

We just need to see
how they all connect.

I can guarantee you they're

not connected by yarn, so...

Okay... I know they're
not connected by yarn.

The yarn is a metaphoric connection.

Do you know because
you are connecting...

- Sweet murder board.
- Aah!


Still as pretty as a damn picture.

Get in here.



You got a jumpy one on your hands, huh?

So sorry about this, buddy.

I mean, this is a work of art.

Solid yarn work.

Dave, what are you doing here?


You know him?

He's one of you?!

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Big time. Th-That's...
That's why I'm here.

I want to join Team Kevin.

- Join? I-I-I don't know...
- Great!


It would be nice if we got
some fresh eyes on this stuff.

And I like the idea of
having my own team.

- Team Kevin forever, right?

Excuse me. Quick sidebar.

Well, I want in. I mean...

- Okay, we're just gonna...
- ... we are Team Kevin, after all.

Where are we?


Si pravi bellissimo, no?

Get those stupid-ass sunglasses

off your stupid-ass face.

I have been working nonstop

while you've been chilling in Italy?

And now you want back in just like that.

You quit on me.

I know.

I was frustrated.

I had to clear my head,
so I wandered around.

And after some exposure to Earth...


I've come to a conclusion.

And what's that?

I love it here.

Oh, my Gosh, the scenery,

the food, the people.

Yvette, we have to save this place.

I don't know. Kevin's
finally hitting his stride,

and adding a new voice to the mix...

Will only make the harmony sweeter.

Hear me out. What if I sign
on for the short term...

Just until Kevin anoints
the next Righteous?

Look, you and I both know

that success breeds success.

If we can help Kevin,

I'm sure we can get
the others to join us.

Can't have a Team Kevin meeting

without the Team Kevin capt...

What the hell?


David will be helping us
out for the time being.

I'm gonna help you so hard

it's almost gonna become unhelpful.

Ah, that's fantastic.

That is... wonderful.

So... what are the chances

of the universe...

Granting me the strength
of a thousand men?

Slim to none.

Okay, because I was coming downstairs,

and I just barely grabbed
the railing and...


That happened!

Super strength.

What if...

The universe wanted you to
go to the hardware store?

Renovation blowout.

I love a blowout.

"Save on replacement parts for

"stairs, railings, cabinets."

Pretty obvious, man.

The universe thinks your
sister's house is a trash heap.

We got to spruce this place up.

Or we need to go to the hardware store

and see what else the
universe has to say.


'Cause this backsplash is painful.

Okay, so you have Reese,
a 101-pound girl.

She's on a catwalk 15
1/2 feet in the air.

When she falls, it takes
her a hair under a second

to hit the ground. Kevin is...

10 to 15 feet away.

The speed at which it
would take Kevin to

- get into position to catch the salt..
- Wait.

Kevin's the pepper, right?

It's just... from where I was standing,

it looked like she was floating.

She was just hanging there,
waiting for him to catch her.

It was only for a second, but...


I don't think I'll ever
understand what happened.

Maybe it's ketchup.

Uh, sorry, I-I couldn't help
but overhear your dilemma.

Interesting stuff.

Ignacio DePerro, Amy Cabrera.

Iggy's a professor of theology.

What if your salt fell and

the pepper was too far away

and there was just no way
it could make the save,

so salt floats because ketchup?

Uh, can you explain that? [CHUCKLES]


No one can. Yeah.

'Cause ketchup is the unexplained.

Ketchup is wormholes.
Ketchup is meridian lines.

Ketchup is miracles.



I sound insane to you.

Yeah, a little. [CHUCKLES]
I've got to get to class.

It was nice to meet you,
Iggy. I'll see you.

Pass the ketchup.


Nail gun.

The universe wants me to buy a nail gun?

No. I do.

Why hammer when you can bust

a nail all up in that wood?

You make sense. Go on.

This man has the attention

span of a labradoodle.

If you want to help him, help him focus.

She's not wrong.

MAN: Can I get a
manager at register six?

Manager at register six.

You have other things to
take care of... real things.

You have made it very clear
that that's how you feel.

That's why I said you
didn't have to come.




Hey, Mrs. Allen. [CHUCKLES]


It's been a long time. How are you?

I'm well.

Uh, I am good, too,

also, as well. [CHUCKLES]

You ladies buying some hardware?

Yes, Kevin, I am renovating my home.


That's exciting.

You know what, I actually...
I have to make a call. So, uh...

- I'll talk to you later, Kevin, okay?
- Okay.

I'll be in the car.

Well, back to shopping, I guess.

It was nice to...


That's just what I was looking for.


A lot to choose from... railings-wise.


Oh, actually, here is my guy.


Wow, what are the odds?

We're looking for the same
thing, and it's the last one.

You... Are you, uh...
You fixing your stairs, too?

Yes, new railing, new cabinets...

I'm giving the place a facelift.

I have a bunch of things
on my to-do list.

Here you go. [GRUNTS]

You don't have to do that.

No, no, no, no. I actually...

I do. Um...

That... That's okay.

Tell me...

Do you need any help
with your to-do list?


What was that?

DAVE: Kevin!

Nail gun!



Um, you said cabinets,
and they're over there.

That's just what I
was re... I was going...

Just a little hint. [CHUCKLES]

That way.


I don't know why you're doing this.

You know this lady hates you, right?

Yeah, I'm... I am well aware. Thank you.

He's doing this because it's

what the universe wants.

And who are we to ask?

But why does she hate you?

Is it because of Kristin?

She's had it in for me since

she was my English teacher.

I mean, dating her daughter didn't help.

- Bingo.
- But...

- Hi.
- Kevin?

What are you doing here?

I'm ready to help with your renovations,

as... as promised. [CHUCKLES]

Well, I only agreed to your offer

because I didn't believe
you'd actually come.

Uh, right. Well, I am here, and I'm...

I'm ready to help.

And I don't see any other volunteers.

Thank you.


Wow. I-I can't remember

the last time I was in this house.

August 12, 1999.

You snuck in and spent
the night with Kristin

before you went off to college.


That does ring a bell.

So, why are you really here, Kevin?

I hope it's not to win me over,

because that ship has sailed.

Ms. Allen, I don't
know if you know this,

but Kristin and I hashed our stuff out.

You really have no idea, do you?

- Well, I just...
- 1997.

You vandalized my entire front lawn...

Windows soaked, toilet paper

in the trees, the lawn graffiti!

- Uh, that wa... That wasn't me.
- Oh, please.

I have it on good
authority that it was you.

Who's your good authority?

Edward Goodwin.

Well, uh... I have
breaking news for you.

Eddie Goodwin is the one
who trashed your lawn.


- Mm-hmm.
- Impossible.

Edward was my best student.

No, Edward was a humongous kiss-ass,

but everyone in the
school knew he did it.

I mean, he... He
wouldn't shut up about it.

Ed drove by as I was cleaning up.

They always return to
the scene of the crime...

Serial killers, arsonists...


Oh, that duplicitous little worm.

- Mm-hmm.
- I am so sorry, Kevin.


let's just... get past it.

Uh, so, where do you want to start?

Shall we do stairs or the cabinets?

- What do you want?
- Th-The cabinets.



Was Susan always this...?


- Mm.
- Rigid? Uptight?

Uh, no, she has actually
mellowed over time.

- Oof.
- Yeah, it was worse.

But it's gonna be good now,

because we've cleared the air,

and now Susan will
realize how lovable I am.

You just want her to like
you so you can get some

brownie points with her daughter.

Well, I have no control over that.

Nate's car.

Oh, no! It's game night!

Before you say anything,
I'm sorry, okay?

Sorry, sorry, sorry,
sorry, sorry, sorry.

- About what?
- About...

... not bringing snacks
to game night. [SIGHS]

Since when do you bring food home?

Well, I don't,

and I've decided to start
apologizing about it.

- Okay. Well...
- I'm not proud of it.

Yeah, no. But don't worry
about it. And you know what?

Don't even worry about game night,

- because we can play without you.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm definitely in for game night. Um...

I just need to check on the kitchen.

And see if there are drinks in there...

For me to drink.

Why did you try to talk
him out of playing?

[CHUCKLES] Wait for it.


How awesome is this?


[WHISPERING] You fixed everything.

Ah, just trying to earn my
keep here on Team Kevin.

We're not genies, Dave.

Fixing his mess is not our job.

Huh. Well, that's odd.

I thought our job was to help Kevin.

This is helping. I mean,
he's got enough on his plate

without having to fix a bunch
of stuff the universe broke.

That is a great point.

Thank you.

That's a good point.

It's a fair point.


REESE: Leg three.

- Really?
- Yes.

- Leg three.

Okay, it doesn't have to be a human leg.

- It could be like a leg...
- Whoa, whoa, excuse me.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

One word. One number. No extra info.

Oh, hey, everyone. Board
Game Kevin showed up.

I was wondering when he'd get here.

Hey, look, I don't mind if
she gives another clue.

- We're just having fun.
- Thank you.

Oh, no, no, teammate.

Fun is playing correctly.

You can't just throw
out all of the rules

to make up for giving a terrible clue.

- Ooh!
- Okay, now do you see what I mean?

This is why he's the worst
to play board games with.

Oh, it is awesome playing games with me

because I actually remember the rules.

Okay, well, maybe my memory is shot

because I am so busy
because I'm a single mother

trying to raise a
teenager and a toddler.

- Oh, I...
- Hey, man, take it easy on your sister.

It's not her fault she
stinks at all games.

- What?!
- Ooh!

- Both of you!
- [LAUGHING] What?!

[LAUGHS] Look, it's your turn.

- Okay, no, it's her turn.
- Now, stop giving all the clues, okay?

- You're trying to distract us.
- I'm not distracting anybody.

I'm just having a good time.

SUSAN: Okay, hold it steady.


You are like a pro.

Kristin's father was useless with tools.

- Okay, keep pressure on

- it until the glue sets.

Oh. Hi, sweetie.

- Kevin.
- Hey.

Uh, what are you...
What are you doing here?

Just, uh, helping your
mom with some projects.

We, uh... We fixed the kitchen
cabinets. You want to see?

No, I'm good.

Could you actually
just give us a minute?

Don't move. The glue
needs 15 minutes to set.

Anything you want to say,
you can say in front of Kevin.

So, you told him?


I have cancer...


Oh, God, I'm so sorry.

No, don't be sorry. Just
help me finish this house.

I've got a good 8 to 14 months

to whip it into shape for Kristin.

I don't want this house,
though. I want you.

So if you want to give me something,

just go back into treatment.

The thought of one
more doctor's visit...

The needles, the... The being
hooked up to machines,

the vomiting into plastic
bins for what, sweetie?

[STAMMERS] Uh... Another
few months of misery?

I'm starting on the tile.
Don't move a muscle.


Kristin, I am so sorry.

So, my mom's your new project?

- Well, I was just trying to help.
- You want to help?

Get her to go back into treatment.


I-I'm confused, guys.

Does the universe really
want me to make Susan

go back into treatment?

Absolutely not.

You can't force someone
to fight for their life.

Okay, they have to want it.

Are those the rules?

Free will is the
greatest gift to humans.

Susan's made a choice.
You have to respect it.

So, what, then?

Maybe you get Susan and Kristin

to reconcile before she passes.

I'm sorry. I respectfully disagree

with my distinguished colleague.

- You have a pitch?

Well, yes.

Susan only has a limited
amount of time on Earth.

I think it's our boy's
job to get this lady

to savor the life she
has left, you know,

really just suck the
juice out of the marrow,

seek out some thrills.

Let me get this straight.

You want him to take a fragile

woman of ill health, and what?

Talk her into skydiving?

Running with the bulls?


Anything that puts an exclamation point

on her final sentence.

That is a beautiful sentiment.

And, uh, I'm not doing any of that

with a cancer person.


Uh, gas pedal's stuck.

- Did one of you do this?
- Guilty.


Brake, brake, brake,
brake, brake, brake!

I'm not comfortable with this.

Yeah, I can see why most
people would be worried by it,

but, uh, why you, Kevin?


Death! Mechanized death!

- Maybe!

Today's lesson is math.

Simple equation...
Fear minus death equals...?


- Thrills.
- Okay.

Thrills, Kevin. Fear minus
death equals thrills.

Now, you know Yvette's never gonna

let anything happen to you,

so why aren't you enjoying that?

I-I-I don't know.

I never thought of that.


Then let go of the wheel.

Okay, I let go. I let go.

Now for the fun part.

Yvette, if you please.


- Oh, yes!

Oh! Oh! Oh!



Oh, wow! Wow!




I want to go again.

Do you understand now?

Kevin, you and Susan are
two very different people

- with one thing in common.
- You both care deeply about Kristin.

Neither of you need to

worry about the future.

Kevin, thanks to us, your
survival is a certainty,

just like Susan's death.

And that feeling that you
feel right now, huh?

- That exhilaration?
- Yeah.

Don't you think that Susan deserves to

catch a whiff of that
while she still can?


Coconut water, Nate?

Jazzing things up today
a little bit, Amber.






Take one of you.


Hi, Nate. [CHUCKLES]


Thank you.


AMBER: Okay.


That's quite a snack you got there.

Thanks. Oh, also, can I get two hot dogs

and 16 scratchers, please?

- Okay.
- Thank you.

What you got, a banana? That's cute.

- Just trying to eat healthy.

Ohh, not me.

I am eating like nobody's watching.

- How you feeling, Kevin?
- Hmm, that's a good question.

In a word, I would say,



Keep blowing.

Keep blowing. Okay, stop.

- You're not drunk.

No, man.

You ever have a moment
when your eyes are just...

Opened as wide as possible

to the ways of the world?

What were your eyes opened to?

The math of life.

Fear divided by death equals...

Wait, that's not it. Uh...

Okay, we just need to stop wasting time

and grab life by its stones, Nate.

Just grab it and squeeze and twist

and just see what comes out.

Okay, that's a terrible analogy.

And good luck.

Well, I'm not just talking about myself.

When are you gonna ask Amy out?

- What?
- Hmm?

We're just... friends,
Kevin. That's all.

That is not all.

There is so much more there,

- and it goes both ways, too.
- No!

You think so?

Grab, squeeze, and twist, Nate.

Come on, there has to be something

that you've always wanted to do

- but told yourself you shouldn't.
- Not that...

- It doesn't even have to be that crazy.
- Not that I can think of.

Honestly, I-I've never been a

bucket-list kind of person.

It's so cliché. It's lame.

Think about this...

When everything is said and
done and you look back,

what's one thing where
you can smile and say,

"I gots mine"?

You know?


I guess there is something.

Tell me.

Susan Allen, what is it that you want?





I cannot believe you just did that.

♪ If you like to gamble ♪

♪ I'll tell you I'm your man ♪

♪ You win some, lose some ♪

♪ It's all the same to me ♪

♪ I don't share your greed ♪

♪ The only card I need
is the Ace of Spades ♪

♪ The Ace of Spades ♪

Tell me again how this is building up

the power of your soul.

Good Lord. Don't be such a square.

This is what Susan wanted.

Besides, it's fun.

Fun can build the soul, right?

What do you think?


You're an artist.


Oh, thank you so much for this, Kevin.

Oh, that's okay.

No, no.

Until very recently,
my life had become...

Not great.

You helped me let go of all that

just for these few minutes.

And I had no idea how badly
I needed this until now.


You've really made a big
difference in my life.

I wanted to make sure you knew that.

I am really glad to hear that.

That is how you build a soul.


- Suck it, Eddie Goodwin!


- What the hell?!

I gots mine!


Is that a penis?

Yeah! Yeah, it is! [LAUGHING]

- Uh, we need to get out of here.
- No.


- We got to go.
- I'm too tired to run.

Oh, my God.

Okay, leave this to me.



No extensions, and no extra credit.


- Hi.
- I, uh...

Brought you something.

It's about the intersection
of miracles and science.

I'm sorry, but...

I'm not really interested in,

you know, crackpot theories.


Uh, it's... my book. I wrote it.

Oh. Uh, well, books are...

They're treasures.

I'm just messing with you.

- I...

No, but, the, uh... The
actual author's quite good,

and it cites more than a few cases

that mirror your own experience.

Well, my experience wasn't a miracle.

Well, how do you truly know?

Because miracles aren't a thing.

They're just events that
science hasn't explained yet.

Well, I mean, that's the
beauty of a miracle.

It's not about religion.
It's about mystery.

Oh, I hate that.

No, that's literally why
I became a scientist.

Okay, so let's do some science, then.

Take me back to where it happened.

We'll take measurements,

test every logical explanation,

- and if we can't find one...
- We'll find an example of something

that science hasn't explained yet.

Or you'll have begun your slide

into the realm of crackpots.

- Not a chance.

Okay, but you're on.

I hope you order a grilled cheese

better than you play Codenames.

Wait till next time.

We'll switch partners.

I'll take Kevin, and you can take Mom.

Thank you.

I had a really good time with
you guys the other night.

Yeah, me, too.

Well, I had such a good time
that I started wondering

how you would feel if I
asked your mother out...

On a... on a date.


I know that this is probably

a really big step for both of you,

and I would never do anything
if it made you uncomfortable,

so, I don't know, what do you think?

So... no.

- No?
- No.

Thank you.

Oh. Okay.

Hmm, what I wouldn't give

to see Eddie Goodwin's
face right about now.

- The little bitch.

- Susan, you have a terrifying

dark side, and I like it.


Score one for Team Kevin. High five.


Come on. Don't leave me hanging.

If we were done here, Kevin
would have had a vision.

And there's been no vision yet,

[SHOUTING] Has there, Kevin?

She's right.

We got to turn this party up a notch.

Hook this lady up to some bungee.


What the hell are you doing?

Mm! Day drinking with your
high-school sweetheart.

Why don't you join us?

Did you trash Ed Goodwin's
house last night?

What? No. Of course not.

Oh, well, that's... that's...
That's really funny

because Ed recently installed

a security camera on his front step.

What do you have to say now?

Oh... my God.

Susan, how could you?

Y... Eddie Goodwin is a
villain and a vandal.

Ed is a respected member
of the community,

and you burned a penis into his lawn.

He burned boobs into my front lawn.

His kids are in my class.


He was gonna call the cops.

I had to tell him you were dying

- and hopped up on pain meds.
- Ooh, you played the cancer card.

- Nice! [LAUGHS]
- Great.

'Kay, you know what?
Just... Just forget it.

Enjoy your happy hour.



Kristin, your mom just wants

to live the last year of her life

the way she wants to live it, okay?

Oh, so she's spending it running around,

acting like an idiot with you?

Isn't that her choice?

- She's my best friend.
- No, I know.

When my dad ran off,
she didn't miss a beat.

She... She just sacrificed
her entire life for us...

Working for us and... and...

And fighting for us to
have the same thing

that every other kid had, and what?

I don't get to fight for her?

I don't... What? I'm supposed to

just, what? Let her fade away?

No, no, no, but you're wasting time...

Yours and your mom's.

- You need to realize that she...
- Don't! Don't!

[VOICE BREAKING] Please don't help me.

Go back outside and
enjoy the party, okay?

I got to go clean up her mess.




You're bumming me out, man.

I could snap my fingers and clean up

Eddie Goodwin's lawn myself,

and you could go back to what

you're supposed to be doing,
which is not yard work.

This isn't about yard work, okay?

I guess I just got so
caught up in helping Susan

I totally lost sight of what I

might be putting Kristin through.

I agree, Kevin.

So happy with yourself.

KEVIN: Hey, Nate.

Uh, Amy is not home.

Not here to talk to Amy.
I'm here for you.

Dude, you set me up.

Wait, did Amy turn you down?

No, I didn't ask her.

- I talked to Reese.

- Why would you talk to Reese?
- I couldn't just ask Amy out.

I had to make sure Reese
was okay with it.

Oh, my God!

You are... such a nice guy.

[SCOFFS] Seriously.

You would be, like,
the perfect boyfriend.

- I don't know why I listen to you.
- No, I... Because,

look, I-I'll talk to Reese, okay?

Because there's got to
be another explanation.

You doing some landscaping?

Nope. [SIGHS]




Hey, you don't have to do this.

I've got a-a ladder. Let me help.

Yeah, yeah. No, thank you

'Cause I've already seen what

your help looks like, so...


Oh, there's Eddie.

Hey, Eddie.

Just gonna stand there
and watch us. That's cool.

Are you sure you don't want some help?

I mean, some of it's pretty high up.

I think that is the last of it.

I wish you'd told me your mom was sick.


Well... because,

I don't know, that...

It's a lot to deal with by yourself.


Yeah, uh, I-I guess I-I-I just thought

that I would convince her

to go back into treatment.

And, uh...

Talking about it just kind

of makes everything seem...

... inevitable.

Plus, I didn't know how long
you'd be sticking around, so...

Yeah, uh...

That makes sense.

Look, I know that I seem really selfish,

and, um...

and I-I...

You know, I understand
why she wants to stop,

because the chemo,
like, it really... it's...

It is worse than the illness.

And it was never gonna
be a cure, you know?

It was just, uh...

It was just a delay.

But, yeah, um...

You know, more... I just...

More than that, I want her
to be happy. So, you know.

Could I... Could I see
that security video again?

- Uh...
- Just...




- I mean, she looks pretty happy to me.

Yeah, she does.



Is there enough for two?

- I'm not up for a fight today.
- Me, neither.

Thank you.

I'm sorry if I embarrassed you.

Actually, uh...

You impressed me.

The way you took out Eddie's mailbox...

You got a beautiful swing.


It's all in the hips.


You know, I, um...

I always thought you could
take that wall out,

just open this room up.

Yeah, you're right. Better flow.

♪ And if the sun starts
setting, the sky won't fall ♪

♪ Even if the clouds get
heavy and start to fall ♪

♪ I really need
somebody to call my own ♪

♪ I wanna be somebody to someone ♪

♪ Someone to you ♪


♪ Someone to you ♪

Wait, that wasn't a
load-bearing wall, was it?

Your problem. Not mine.

♪ Someone to you ♪

♪ Someone to you ♪






How are you?




Did you...

Want something?


You know, I-I... [SIGHS]

I was just thinking about...

It's probably really weird

for you to think about

your mom having, like,

a personal life.

Feelings and...

... wanting to date.


Nate talked to you.

I thought that you liked him.

I do like him.

He's cool.

It's her.

She's not ready. She'd wreck it.

I... See, I don't... I don't
know if that's true, Reese.

You know her, Kevin.

Can you imagine her dating anybody?

She'd just, like, talk the whole time

and say stupid stuff.

She can't help it.

Wow, you might be right, actually.

I am right.

So, you're, like, pretty
smart, aren't you?

Shut up.

Because, I mean, I look at
you, and you seem dumb,

like, really not intelligent.

Just, like, there's nothing going on.

Just a vacant stare, but actually,

deep down somewhere, there's, like,

some thoughts being rubbed togeth...


Have a good night.

Dave suggested I take
Susan streaking, but...

- No way.

- No normal person wants to do that.
- I know!

And I just don't have the cardio in me

- to do that kind of running.
- Kevin...


Oh, hi. Is, uh...

Wait, S... Sean!

It's, uh... It's Kevin Finn.

I-I, um...

I was actually looking for your mom.

Hey, Kevin.

I'm sorry.

Mom passed away last night.


I thought...

She said she could
have more than a year.

I know.

It was in her sleep.

You know, peaceful.

Kristin's here.
Why don't you come inside?


No. Uh... no. Than... Thank you.

No, I don't want to intrude.

Um... I'm so sorry, Sean.


0.79 seconds.

Does the health department
know how you're using

- their first-aid dummy?

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on.
Hold on. Don't come down.

I-I want to just measure your distance.

Close your eyes 'cause it's a laser.


So, what do you hope to get

from all these measurements?

- Insight.

Yeah, but you lose possibility.

As long as you don't know,
anything's possible.

Can I open my eyes?


- What, are you messing with me?
- [LAUGHS] Yes.

Well, if it makes you feel any better,

I-I don't think there's anything

that'll ever explain what happened.

Good! Great!

Now that's an interesting
world to live in.

No, not great.

Annoying. Frustrating. Look at you.

You're energized.

You're... You're motivated. Why?

Because not knowing isn't comforting,

but it's exciting.

Like going up a roller coaster

or standing in front of a smart...

Intriguing engineering professor,

wanting to ask her out,

but not really knowing
how she'd respond.

It's all neck chills and
stomach butterflies.



Well, um...

Not to remove any possibilities,

but, um, if you were to ask me out,

I would... I would say "Yes."

Your boss...

Is a jerk.

A lovely and decent woman dies,

leaving another wonderful
woman devastated.


You're preaching to the choir.

All I want is... Is
an explanation, okay?

I don't think that that
is too much to ask for.

Yeah, I wish I could give you one.

But I have my theory.

I think, uh, God just wants

all of us to stay occupied.

"Stay occupied"?


You know, I mean, the
busier we are doing stuff,

the less questions we ask.

"Why are we here?"

"What are God's plans?"

You know, in the short time
that I've been in this place,

I've, uh... I've realized something.

I don't think there is a plan.


Kristin. Hey.

I'm so sorry.

I-I came by, and...

Yeah. No, I heard. Thank you.


Isn't everyone still there?


Um, my family is... Is great.

But... But, um...


So, I-I went for a drive, and, um...

My car drove me here, so... [CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES] Well...

You don't happen to have
another one of those, do you?

- Oh! Yeah! I have... I have, uh...


Thank you.


She was happy.

You know, and I...

I think it's... it's really

the most anyone can wish for in life.

Yeah, I hope I'm so lucky.

I'm really glad that you're
not just passing through.

Me, too.


Oh, wow. Look at the sunset.

It's beautiful.

It's incredible.

Let me start this meeting by saying

Team Kevin is kicking ass.


Yvette, while the rest
of us were unsure,

you were the one who correctly

identified our goal.

Okay, wonderful. Now let's talk about...

But, Dave, it was your methods,

unconventional as they may be,

that really got us to

achieve those goals.

And that is why you are...

Team Kevin's Player of the Game.



You must have so many gold stars.

Uh, this is a new thing.

Well, what we need to remember

is that we are a great team.

- Hell, yeah.

Uh, Kevin, if... If you'll excuse

Yvette and I for just a sec...?

I'm not even gonna try to follow you.


You know what, we'll skip the glasses

and drink straight from the tap.

- Fore!


Hey, um...

look, I know this is hard for you.

You've been working your ass off,
and all of a sudden, there's a new

baby, and he gets a gold star and...

Oh, I... Oh, I don't... I
don't care about a gold star.

Yeah, no, I-I know. Yeah,
well, you know, but you do.

You do. You do. A little bit.
It's a gold star, so...


To Team Kevin.

You see, that's what I'm talking about.

With the two of us putting
our talents together,

we'll guide Kevin to the
Righteous in no time.

Yeah, but we don't have that luxury.

- What are you talking about?
- You and I both know the clock is

ticking on this whole situation.

You want to save this place?
We need to act quickly.


You have...

Talents, Dave...

Skills I don't have.

Well, this is true.

Trivia night, origami,
interpretive dance,

sensual massage, welding,
drawing circles.

Interpersonal skills.

You have the gift of sales, Dave.

And we need to put
those skills to the test.

How so?

I have a mission for you.