Kevin (Probably) Saves the World (2017–…): Season 1, Episode 11 - Solo - full transcript

As the newest substitute teacher at La Salle High School, Kevin tries to help an introverted student become more self-assured and popular. Meanwhile, Yvette contemplates life after the ...

Previously on "Kevin
(Probably) Saves the World"...

- I'm a messenger from God.
- Oh, good.

I'm here to guide and protect you.

The only job you have in life

is to build up your spiritual powers

through acts of kindness
and selflessness.

God is gonna show you how
to find the other righteous

and then you'll anoint
them with an embrace.

When are you gonna ask Amy out?

I'd be very happy to go
out on a date with you.

They actually opened a
substitute-teacher position.

Seeing as you were so good with
my students the other day,

I submitted your name.

Oh, we gotta go, we gotta go,
we gotta go, we gotta go.

We gotta go! We gotta go! We gotta go!

What is wrong?

I know where the next
righteous person is!

- How's that even poss...
- The Universe! The vision!

- Let's go! Now! Let's go.
- Kevin. Kevin!

- Let's go. Go, go now.
- Oh, oh.

Let's go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

Seriously, it was the
strangest, coolest vision yet.

I was at some old temple in Peru.

And there was this golden idol
on top of this old pedestal.

But get this... the
pedestal was booby-trapped.


So I had to do something.
And I had a bag of sand.

And then the princess and I kissed

right before the guards yanked me away.

Then she calls out, and she
tells me that she loves me.

And I just simply tell her, "I know."

I know.

So we are struggling.

And I find the ripcord
for his parachute,

and I... and I pull it!

And then... whoosh!
He's goes flying out.

And he's hanging there in midair.

And I grab him by his
shirt, and I just growl,

"Get off my plane!"

Okay. I have a confession to make.

There was no vision.

Yeah. Wait. When did
you figure that out?

When the one-armed man framed you

for the murder of your wife.

[LAUGHS] Okay.

Well, I planned us a celebratory dinner

in honor of our partnership

- and everything that it's led to...
- Ohh.

...namely me getting a new job.

Uh, we also found a righteous person.

- That too.
- Uh-huh.

So tonight, it's just you and me

- having a real meal like real people.
- Ohh.

Sop just make yourself visible.

Not a chance.

But that's why we came all
the way out here, though.

We're 70 miles from home.

So no one will recognize us.
There's no danger.

And honestly, I'd rather not
spend the night as a loon

who eats with his invisible friend.

Then we'll eat in silence.

[GROANS] Come on!

Just tonight. It'll be so
much fun. I promise.

Plea... Ple... Yvette, please.

Just one thing for me?

Fine! But I'm not gonna
have a good time.


This. Is. Incredible!

[LAUGHS] What'd I tell you?

I mean, I haven't been witness

to something this breathtaking in...

In at least 2,000 years!

- Oh, here we go.

Oh! What!

Isn't this the best?

Me, a teacher... you, a student...

Us being around each other all day long?

Please don't embarrass me.

[SHOUTING] I'm sorry, Reese!
I can't walk you to class right now!

I am a teacher, so I have to
go to the Teachers' Lounge.

But I'll see you at snack and
recess and lunch, and...

- WOMAN: Hey!
- Ooh, sorry.

Thought that was the Teachers' Lounge.

Does anyone know where the...?

KEVIN: Gotta admit...

I like what I'm seeing around here.

Solid Danish selection.
Unlimited refills.


More importantly, how you
feeling about your first day?

Oh. Me? Couldn't be better.

Just raring to... get out
there and touch some kids.

- What?
- In their minds.

- Wait. Is that... No.
- Hmm?

Did you bring in your own...
[LAUGHS] c-coffee mug?

This thing? From a New
York City bookstore

in New York City, where I used to live?

Oh, God.

You're trying to be the
"cool teacher," aren't you?

- Oh, look. I'm just being me.
- Mm-hmm.

You know, if that's considered
cool, who am I to argue?

- You know?

Well, we, uh, we already
have a "cool teacher" here.

Hey, Sean!

Hey. Uh, Come meet Kevin Finn.

He's one of the new substitute teachers.

Hey. Sean Pelcovitz.

The students call him "The Pelc."

- Hey. Cool mug.
- Ahh.

You go to New York a lot?

Oh, I-I actually lived there

for 15 years. Not a big deal.

Almost moved there myself after
I graduated from Columbia.

Yeah, well, you know, it's a...

It's a tough city.

- It's not for everyone.
- Totally.

I ended up volunteering in Indonesia

for a few years instead,
mostly remote villages.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

It was one of the most rewarding
experiences of my life.

Yeah. I... I once went
upstate for a charity...

- Oh, that's our cue.

Oh, yeah.

Hey. Great talking, Kevin.
And good luck today.

- I'm sure you'll do great.
- Oh, yeah.

- I know.
- Bye, Sean.

I know that!


Talk about somebody who
tries too hard, huh? Yeesh.

[LAUGHS] You're ridiculous.


"I'm so worldly and cultured."



- Oh. I'm just gonna...
- Oh.

Hi. I'm sorry. Parking was just... Ugh.

God. Um...

You weren't really
waiting long, were you?

No, no, no. Not at all.
Not at all. You're good.

Um, I just wanted to clarify...

This isn't actually our
first date, is it?

No! No, no, no. Definitely not.

- Okay, good.
- This is just...

- Just a friendly meal.
- Yes, exactly.

Right. Because if it were
our first date, I mean...

We would be doing something special.

- And not just breakfast.
- Yeah.

So, do you, um... Do you have any ideas?

Believe it or not, I do.


- Midnight stroll...
- Okay. a picnic under the sky.

I know the perfect place for
stargazing this time of year.


Um... counter-proposal?

Go ahead.

- We're already friends, right?
- Of course.

So... Okay, so we're
not necessarily tied

to the whole "dinner, drinks,
get to know you" kind of date.

We could maybe... I don't know...

Try something more adventurous?

More adventurous than Cassiopeia,

"Queen of the Night Sky"?

I mean, I could bring
my telescope, I guess.

No. I'll think of something.



Good morning, fine students
of La Salle High School.

My name is Mr. Finn,

and I will be your substitute
teacher for the day.

Ms. O'Neil's norovirus
pain has become my gain.


So, um...

"My gain." Oh, oh!

Also, you change the "I" to a "U,"

I become Mr. Funn!


- Mr. Funn. Okay, we...
- YVETTE: Third row.

Third row. Passing notes.
Third row, Kevin.

We are going to be
making learning funn-nn.


Okay. You know what?

Let's just, uh... Let's see
what's first on today's agenda.

Oh. "Return graded papers to students."

Please raise your hand
when I call your name

so that I know who you are.

Lola Jane. Ah.

You got bonus points for
excellent penmanship,

so good on you.

Maya Thompson.

Surfing Twitter on a cellphone!

Kevin, it's time to confiscate.
Come on, now.

Here you go.

[INHALES SHARPLY] Adam Hargrove?


Yes. Lola.

- Adam's over there.
- Thank you.

I will hold onto this until
he is back in school.

Um... Yes, Lola?

I meant to say Adam's
sitting over there.

Sitting at his desk. [CHUCKLES]

You mean, uh, this
empty desk right here?

Ahh. Messing with
the substitute teacher.

I get it. I've done it, okay?

Well played.

You really don't see him?


Uh, you must be... Adam. [CHUCKLES]

Why do you think the boy
was invisible to you?

Clearly, it was a sign
from the Universe,

but what does it mean?

- [CHUCKLES] I really can't do this.
- Of course you can.

It's the first day.
Don't get too discouraged.

No, I can't do this...
[WHISPERING] with you.

- Excuse me?
- I'm...


You are too much of a distraction.

Look. Don't blame me for that hacky

open-mic material back there, Kevin.

I'm just saying that I-I
can't focus on teaching

when I'm listening to you half the time.

- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

I see.

Well, maybe lay low for a while?

Uh, hang out somewhere.
Just... Just... Just during school.

Look. For the record, there are plenty

of other things that I could be doing.

Well, that's great! That's perfect.

You could... Y-You could
go do that stuff.

And... And we can maybe catch up later.


Well, okay?!

B... Bye!

Oh. Bye.






Hola, ladies.

What's the good word?

Aren't you supposed to be working?

Just craving a little lunch
hang with my favorite niece.

You guys need any Reese fun facts?

Toddler stuff?

Her "My Little Pony" phase?
I got a lot of dirt.

- I like dirt.
- Yeah?

Uh, why don't you guys head off?

I'll catch up with you later.


Did you actually need something,
or was this just to torture me?

Yes. I need some info on Adam Hargrove.

And the torture was just a bonus.

Why are you asking about Adam?

Because I'm a teacher and I say so.

That's not how teaching works!

Okay, whatever. Do you know him?

Are you doing your whole
"helping thing" here at school now?



All right.

Adam used to get picked on
a lot in middle school.

He's kind of an easy target.

These days, he pretty much
just keeps to himself.

Is there any particular
place that I can find him?

- Check the library?
- Hmm.

He spends a lot of time there
to avoid the knuckleheads.



Okay. Well, thank you.


Can you loan me 5
bucks for lunch money?

- Oh, my God!
- I am so hungry,

and I forgot my wallet.


Mr. Finn.

I remember.

I just wanted to apologize for

what happened in class earlier.

It's... First-day jitters.

Um, but I-I'm really sorry.

- It's fine.
- Well, no, it's not.

Um, couldn't help but
notice you're eating lunch

all by yourself in the
reference section.

It's much better than being picked
on and tossed into lockers.


Well, maybe I could, uh,
help you with that.


Yeah. N-No, thanks.

But I'm your... I'm your teacher.
I'm supposed to help.

You're a substitute.

Look. I am trying to do this

the cool way, as a friend.

But if you won't help me help you,

then I'm gonna be forced
to go full teacher,

because my trouble radar is goin' off.

I'm finding out what's going on here.

But... I didn't do anything.

Then you shouldn't have a
problem talking to me about it.

Please. I don't... I don't want
to get involved with those guys.

I'm just trying to keep my head down.

With what... With what... With who?

With the Freshman Prank.


Tell me more.

Some kids were talking about it

in the locker room after gym.

They were bragging about
this year's prank.

They swore me to secrecy,
but I had nothing to do with it.

I wouldn't do anything
like that to Miss Allen.


KRISTIN: Well, this is quite the coup.

First day on the job, and
you're already taking down

the Freshman Prank? Impressive.

What'd you think was gonna happen on

my first day, something unimpressive?

How did you even find out about this?

Oh, you know, I can't
reveal my source, Kristin.

[LAUGHS] Listen. I'm just
stunned that the man

behind one of the greatest
Freshman Pranks of all time...

The greatest.

Legends are still told

about how the halls overflowed

with stuffing and turkey
and gravy and potatoes,

a literal cornucopia of wonder

on that fateful day in 1995.

And no one will ever top that, so...

No one will ever get a chance,
because you're busting them.

No, I'm not actually
busting anyone. You are.

Wait. What? Ooh!


Come on! It's not funny!

Come on! Quit messing with...


Uh, Vince, Gene, who's your friend?

Wait. Is that...

Whoa! Is this the Freshman Prank?!

[CHUCKLING] Oh, man.

Could've been a great one, too.

But you guys... You got caught!

Good pranksters don't get caught.


Good one.


Where'd you even get the sweater?

- Come in.

Hey. What are you doing here?

I came to apologize.

I just found out that I've
been put on the swing shift

for the next couple of weeks...
4:00 to midnight. So...

Oh. Okay. [CHUCKLES]

Well, I guess our date
will have to wait.

Oh. I'm sorry.

I was really looking
forward to going out on...

Whatever type of activity
we could mutually agree on

at whatever location we found
amenable to the both of us.

Yes, me too. [LAUGHS]

Well, but at least I know that our town

will be safe from 4:00 to midnight.

- Dr. Cabrera?
- Yeah?

Okay, well, uh, I'll leave you to it.

Wait! Uh, flowers are for dates.

And I-I just... I don't
want the first flowers

that you ever give me
to be apology flowers.

So take 'em. Just...

- O-Kay.
- Yeah. Thank you.



Oh. Oh. Y-You don't want to miss

the onion volcano, trust me.

Very impressive.

What's your deal?

- Excuse me?
- I remember you from yesterday.

- You were over the Moon for this.
- [LAUGHS] I'm sorry.

You're... You're right.

For some reason, it
feels different today.

Where's your friend?

Work. He has a new job.

And... a life.

And I'm very, very proud of him.

People enjoy things more in a group.

Bring some of your other
friends with you next time.


Thank you all for making this
a great first day for me!

And just none of you care.

Okay. Stay wonderful, everyone!

Did you find Adam Hargrove?


- And did you help him?
- I did.

I think I really did.

All in all, today has been pretty good.


Let me out! This is not funny!

Okay. Break it up, people!
Teacher coming through!

- Let me out!
- Adam.

Uh, hold on. I'll... I'll get some help.


What happened?


You happened.


Well, why don't we go
to the principal...

I'm not going anywhere with you!

You're a substitute that
managed to ruin my life in...

Under six hours.

Just leave me alone.


So, Nate and I are in
this weird limbo area,

where we're not really friends anymore,

but we're not dating yet.

Well, go on a date with him.
Get it over with.

We were trying to, before he got put on

the swing shift for the next two weeks.

- Ohh.
- Thus, back to limbo.

And I... I think I made it weird

when he brought me
flowers today at work.

Yeah, that sounds about right.


- You're so rude.
- [CLEARS THROAT] Well, look.

If you don't want to
be in limbo anymore,

then just step out of it.

Surprise him down at the station.
Bring the date to him.

That's actually...
That's not a bad idea.

Hm. Thank you.

So... what about you?

How was your first day at school?


I would give myself a solid C-plus.

- Ohh.
- Yeah.

I might have made a fairly
significant first-day error.

But I broke up the Freshman Prank.

[GROANS] Of course. The Freshman Prank.

[LAUGHS] What's that supposed to mean?

Freshman Pranks are stupid.

Well, that's a vast generalization.

All of them. They are all stupid.

Especially whenever you're involved.

[SIGHS] Okay, look.

I am sorry that I didn't include you

in the epic, legendary,

all-time greatest
Freshman Prank of 1995.

But you would've told Mom, so...

Well, we'll never know, will we?

- We will never know.
- And...

That's the price of being a snitch.

Well, if you wanted it to
actually be legendary,

then you should've involved me.

Oh, I-I did want it to be legendary,

which is why I didn't include you

and then why it became legendary.


Hey! There you are.

Do you know if they
made a movie of this?

You sure my being here isn't too

much of a distraction for you?

Is this you being passive-aggressive?

Because your time is...
is very important.

So I just want to make sure
I'm scheduled in properly.

Okay, now, that sounded

REESE: Adam was pretty
upset this afternoon.

I know. I, uh, I sort of messed up.

- Hmm. There's a surprise.
- So how can we fix it?


Well, I did lead you to him.

What happened to Adam today
isn't your fault, Reese.

YVETTE AND REESE: No! It's your fault!

Yeah, it doesn't matter
whose fault it is.

Maybe he was happier
just being invisible.

No, no, no. He was miserable, okay?

But now... everyone in the school

knows who he is for the wrong reasons.

So how do you change that?

Ohh! I can just see

that little hamster wheel
turning in your head, Kevin.

We let people know who Adam
is for the right reason.

Psst. Hey.


You're gonna do the Freshman Prank.

- Oh, my God.
- Keep browsing.

Are... Are you even a teacher?

I get it. You're scared.

But it's either this or four
more years in the trophy case.

Your choice.

[STERNLY] Keep browsing.

This is insane.

You know who else they called insane?


Mozart. Van Gogh.

Van Gogh cut off his own ear.

But he wasn't afraid of change.

Even if I agree, I
don't know what to do.

Or how to do what to do.

And I have no friends to help.

That's not true.

- You've got me.
- Oh.

Mastermind of the legendary

1995 Freshman Class Prank.

- Ohh.
- Keep that under wraps.

You look so much older.

Look. We'll get my old
crew back together.

One last time.

One last job. One last prank.

Including you.

So what do you say, Adam? You in?



TYLER: All right!

Kyle, those potato skins
have your name all over 'em.

Well, thank you all for coming.

I know I was, uh, a little
mysterious on the phone,

but I want you to think back

to one of the single,

shining moments of our lives.

The birth of my daughter.


That's a... T-That is a good one.

But before that, when we were
all together, in high school.

We were on the same "team."

Not the football team.

You were the only one
on the football team.

Think back to 1995.

When the six of us

pulled the most spectacular
Freshman Prank

La Salle High School has
ever seen, will ever see.

They still talk about it to this day.

- Who does?
- They do, Nate, okay?

- They do.
- Mm-hmm. Sure.

The point is,

today we have the
opportunity to do it again.

I don't understand.

You want to pull a prank?
At the high school?

Well, not just a prank.

The second-best prank ever.

Why not the best?

Because of ours.
Ours was the best in '95.

And you know why we were so successful?

We weren't the smartest.

And we weren't the bravest. Remember?

But we were a team, okay?

That prank was the purest
example of... of camaraderie,

of... of knowing each other

on the deepest, most intimate level.

We were like a machine,

working together, one
goal, laser-focused.

22 years ago, we made history.

Who wants to make it again?

Maybe I should've said
it was to help a kid.

Is it? Bonus!

This is terrible, Ty.

We can't do a job this big by ourselves.

Yeah, but then it's just you and
me splitting the glory pie.

Nate, you cannot shut us down. Please.

- I'm in.
- What?

I'm in for the prank.

Just didn't want to advertise
I'm breaking the law.

Nate! Thank you so much!
Do not tell Amy.

- What? Why?
- She'll narc.

No offense.


Don't bother to try and
talk me out of this.

I'm in deep.

You really think a dumb prank
is the way to help this kid?

I guarantee it.

We're gonna to do this
prank, I'll get my vision,

and then we'll be one step closer

to finding our righteous person.

You feeling okay?

I've come to realize that
some day, if we're lucky,

you'll complete your mission.

You'll anoint all the righteous.

And we'll be done.

Yeah. That's the plan.

But I don't think I thought beyond that.

Like, what happens to me?
I don't get to go home.

You won't need me.

I'll just...


I'll just be alone.

KEVIN: Well, that...
That doesn't sound right.

There's gotta...

Only other reports of
note are Gus Fleeger's

neighbor won't turn the TV down and...

Someone's truck is blocking
Sara Gomez's driveway.

Sounds like martial-law time to me.

Handle it as you see fit.


Are you finished with your shift?

Hey. Yeah. What are you doing here?

Well, I have some takeout
from Salvator's, some wine,

and my old telescope is in my car.

I thought maybe we could go to the roof

and look at the stars...
Your perfect date.

Oh, my Gosh.

Yes. Uh, yes, it is.

I mean, I know... I know it's...
I know it's cheesy.

I-I wanted to surprise you.
But it's dumb.

This is dumb. No, no, no, no, no, no!

It's n... It's not dumb.
It's... It's great.

It's so thoughtful. And, um, yeah.

I-I'd love to take you up on it.

But you're tired. I get it.
I totally understand.

- We can do it another time.
- Amy, wait.

What if we tried something
a little more adventurous?

Let's just thread the
hose through here. Um...

But that's not close to water.

Where does the water come from?

[SIGHS] That's not a question that I...

Like, what do you mean,
where does water come from?

The faucet. Duh.

I mean, that's...

That's a good question.

I don't really know the answer.
Damn. This is hard.

- There's Nate. I'll get him.

I thought you were good at this.

You know what, Adam?

- So did I.

I cannot believe that
you're doing this prank!

Teaming up with a juvenile

and breaking into the high school?!

- Who does that sort of thing?!

What is wrong with you people?!

And why am I not a part of this prank?

Because you'll ruin it.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- What?

That'll never work.

- Well, I wasn't done...
- Okay, well...

Mm-hmm. Put the school here.


This'll work.

Fine. You're on the crew, okay?

Good! Now, who is ready to pull off

the greatest Freshman
Prank in school history?


Um, Mr. Finn?



I'm feeling kinda weird about this.


I'm planning a prank with a mom,

a police officer, and my teacher.

- And a waiter.
- Just trust me.

This needs to happen, okay?

You'll thank me when it's over.

- Okay.
- Okay.

In order for this plan to work,

everything must be
executed perfectly, okay?

Everyone has a role. Phase
One begins with you, Nate.

You are our lookout.

You will arrive first

and immediately distract
school security.

It's a little on the nose, right?

I mean, because I'm a cop, you think

I can handle a security guard?

No. I think you can handle the security

guard because it's Becky Simpson.

- Oh.
- What?

She's cute.

Yeah, I know, and she's always had

a thing for you, so it should be easy.

Look. I'm not worried
about distracting her.

I'm worried that once
I really decide to turn

on the charm, there'll
be no turning back.

[LAUGHS] Okay. I think
I'll take my chances.

At the end of the night, I
could basically be married.

Just making sure that's what you
want for our first real date.

Ohh! You took my advice.

How's the date going?

It was going great.
But now I don't know.

- Nate's kind of being a wuss.
- Hey, your funeral.

That you, Becky?

What a pleasant surprise.


- Aaah! Aaah!
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

AMY: And while Nate turns on
the charm, we begin Phase Two.

Tyler, Kevin said

that you broke in to the
locked school in '95.

They called me "The Grease Man."

I snuck into the
air-conditioning ducts here,

unlocked the doors there.

You ready to do that again?

Damn right I am.

Really get the shoulders
so they don't get stuck.

Thought that "Grease Man"
was just a heist term.

Me too.

Don't think so.

'Kay. I'm all lubed up.
Ready to slip 'n' slide.

AMY: Good luck!


Guys, I think they made
the ducts smaller.

Can you give me a shove?

[GRUNTING] It's narrow in here.

KEVIN: All right. Meet
me at the double doors.

- Okay.
- TYLER: Oh, wait! I'm stuck again!

Never mind. Wiggled out. We're good!

KEVIN: Okay.

- I am so, so sorry.

Let me see. Open your eyes.


Oh, they... They look... good.

Totally normal and good. You know what?

I'm gonna go get a first-aid
kit inside, just to be safe.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
I'll be fine. I'll be fine.

We'll just let those
tears do their work.

You sure?

You look really great in your uniform.

[CHUCKLING] Oh! Thank you!

Do you think Tyler's stuck?

You know, maybe we should call this off.

No! No. Tyler has never
let me down, ever.

AMY: Okay.

Except maybe once or
twice, but not this time.

Just trust me, okay?


- Come...
- Yes!

It's such a bummer that
your eyes are burning,

because the sky is so beautiful tonight.

You sure I can't get you anything?

If it's not too much trouble, I think

there's some water in my cruiser.


I'll get your water. I'll be back.

AMY: Okay, guys. Now that
we're in, we gotta move fast.

We got one more big
decision to make, okay?

What classroom are we going to?

- People, people, people!
- What, what, what?

- Who is our target?
- Oh, come on! It's so obvious!

- Mr. Pelcovitz.
- Mr. Pelc?

- Yeah.
- Why?

Why not? Look at the guy.

He t-thinks he's better
than everyone else.

- TYLER: Really?
- Yeah.

He comes in every Tuesday for breakfast.

He seems really nice. Yeah, he...

Seems nice. Thinks he's better than you.

In fact, he said, "I'm
better than Tyler."

- Oh, that's uncalled for.
- Yeah. Exactly.

- So it's decided then?
- Yes, yes.

- Mr. Pelc's going down?
- Yes, let's go. Let's go.

Nathan Purcell.

Did you bring all this
stuff here for me?

Uh, yes. Yes, I did.

Hey, uh...

Feel like having a
picnic under the stars?

You actually look like
you're having fun.

Honestly, I'm as surprised as you are.

You know, this sort
of fun doesn't happen

when you're off hiding alone
all the time. Just saying.


This is great, Mr. Finn.

You're actually pretty cool.

I'm really cool.

Can you please tell everyone?


Our work here is done.

It just needs to set. So let's go.

Uh, where's the ladder?



Uh, Amy!

We're trapped in here!

No. No, no. No, you're not.

Just use the ladder

- a-and go up to the ceiling panels.
- Amy.

Okay. You, um... You're
trapped in there.

But don't panic.

Tyler and I are gonna
figure something out, okay?

- Just don't panic!
- We're not panicking!

Hey, it's time to panic, okay?

ADAM: Yeah. I'm way ahead of you.

Here. Let me give you a boost.

- What about you?
- I'm gonna be fine.

Don't worry about me.
Just go ahead to the others.

[GRUNTING] I'll figure something out.

That looks good. Nice and sturdy.

I slipped. On a wet marshmallow.

Mm-hmm. So I see.

I know I'm not supposed
to be here, so...

No, no, no! That's okay.
You know what? New policy.

You can come to my work whenever.
Whenever you want.

Or anytime I go anywhere, really.

Just in case.

Can you help me get out of here?


♪ Whoo! Y'all gonna
make me lose my mind ♪

- ♪ Up in here, up in here ♪

- ♪ Y'all gonna make me go all out ♪
- Second-best prank ever!

- ♪ Up in here, up in here ♪
- AMY: What a team!

We all played our part.
Oh, my God! We forgot Nate!

I know this isn't technically a date,

but this is the best date
I've been on in years.

Yeah, it is.

It could just...

Get a little better.


Oh, no. No donuts on my watch!



AMY: Nate!

Where you been?!

Hurry up! Pack it up!
Before Kevin wrecks my car.


Good first date?

Yeah. You?

The best!

- Come on.


How's everything looking?

T-minus three minutes.

Okay, okay. I want to tell you

I jazzed up your prank a little.

What'd you do?

Wait for it. [LAUGHS]

Ohh! This is gonna be so good.

- Call it off.
- What?

We need to stop the prank, now.

Adam. Adam, Adam, Adam.

What are you talking about?

We can't call it off. This is happening.

And it's gonna be great, and
you're not gonna get in trouble.

I don't care about getting in trouble!

I don't wanna prank anyone.

But think about what this is

gonna do for your life, okay?

You are gonna be... a legend.

I don't wanna be mean to someone

just so I feel better about myself.

[GROANS] It's a joke. It's a joke!

It happens every year.
Pelc will love it.

Pelc will eventually love it.

Last night...

Might have been the
best night of my life.

But I don't want to be that guy

that just stomps all over
someone just to get ahead.

I'm calling it off.

[GROANS] Okay. Okay. You know what?

- I-I respect your decision.
- Okay.

Thanks. Sorry.

I-I know you're real
proud of your prank.

Well. Well, it's all right.

YOUNG WOMAN: Hey, Mr. Pelc.

- I've gotta stop him!
- No, no, no.

Hey, no, no, no. He knows you, okay?

- That's not an option.
- Mr. Finn!

Um... What do we do?



- Okay. Just take out your phone.
- What?!

- Take it out and start recording, okay?
- No.

Don't worry. I've got
your back. All right?

Here. Hold this for a second.

Hey! Hey, there, Mr. Pelc.
Let me help you there.

Looks like you got your hands full.

Yeah, thanks.






Oh... my God.

Reese, could you help me up?

- YOUNG WOMAN: Is that your uncle?
- No.




Jazzed up.

Okay. What is this? Is... [GASPS]

- Looks like Jell-O to me.
- Kevin?


Freshman Prank. I think.
They went all-out this year.


Wait. Did you get all that?

Um, y-yeah.

No way, dude! You gotta send that to me!

Remind me to give you my cell.

Hey. Let me see it.

Uh, wow.

Yeah, we should just take you

out back and hose you down. Um...

Oh, there's a cherry. Ugh!

I just friended you.

You have to find me at lunch

so we can show everybody.

Dude, you got, like, the whole thing.

It's like you were waiting for it.

Wait. Wait. Did you do this?


YOUNG MAN: What's your name?


Thank you.


Thought you'd need some caffeine to get

you going after last night, but...

You're taking your car apart. So...


- This is relaxing for me.
- Yeah. No.


So, what happened with the prank?

I don't know! Kevin's not
responding to my texts,

and, well, Reese can't have her
cellphone out at school, so...

- Maybe it didn't work.
- That prank was flawless. It worked.

So, uh, I only got nine text messages

- from Becky this morning.

Yes. That was some
solid flirting on your part.

Brought your "A" game. Congratulations.

That was the weirdest
first date I ever had.

Thank you.

So, just to confirm,

this right here... Not a date?

You know what? It is.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I would've worn a better shirt.

From now on, it's all a date.

All things are a date. Deal?

Now it's a date.

[LAUGHS] Okay.









Hey! Can you tell me where we are?!

Uh... uh...

Hey! Is this ship called Cayuga?!



Hey. Hi.

- Ohh! That is beautiful.
- [LAUGHS] So good.

I know. I actually think it
might be better than '95.

Nope. That will never be beaten.
That's just the way it is.

[SNIFFS] Whoa.
You still smell like lime.

[SNIFFS] Oh, yeah! [LAUGHS]

Look at you two, so cozy.

She show you her, uh, weird toe yet?

- Kevin!
- She did not.

Oh! It's super gross. You gotta see it.

It's like a tiny, wrinkly old
man growing off her foot.

I named him Stan.
You should bust him out, Amy!

- You are actually lying. He's lying.
- Hi, guys.

- Hey!
- Hey!

You guys are all very celebratory.

- Just happy.
- Hmm.

- Enjoying life.
- Yeah.

Did you guys hear about the
big prank at school today?

Uh, did I hear about it?
I still smell like it.

Yeah. It came up because of Kevin.

KRISTIN: It was really involved.

Very, very, very sophisticated.

It kind of reminded me of
when we were freshman.

You think? I mean, I don't
know if it was that good.

Almost seemed like it was
planned by the same people.

- Like, sort of, but not...
- I would never be involved

with anything like that, you
know, as an officer of the law.


You know, and I also
actually noticed that,

um, Adam Hargrove suddenly
seems very popular.

Good. For him. That's good.

- Not so good for you, though.
- What do you mean?

Well, you'll never be the
cool teacher after today.

Oh! Come on, Kristin.

Being a teacher's not about being cool.

It's about the kids.

Next round's on me. Kristin, beer?

Sure. Thanks.

Actually, you know what?

Uh, I have to work on my
lesson plan for tomorrow.

I'm subbing in chemistry.

You can learn all of chemistry
in, like, an hour, right?

- Uh, no.
- No way.

- No.
- What? You know what?

Wanna hang out?

Don't worry about me.
Spend time with your friends.

That's what I'm doing.


Wh... I think I found it!

It's a crabbing boat off the
coast of British Columbia.


British Columbia.

It's a big place, but
that's a great start!

Okay. Try this.



Mmm! Wow! That's delicious!

It's not the food. It's the company.

And it's really sweet for
you to let me do this.

But you don't have to
worry about me, Kevin.

I'll be fine.

You know, if we actually
finish this mission...

When. When we finish this mission.

- When we finish...
- There you go.

It's... It's not like I'm
gonna forget about you.

I mean, you've changed my life.

I mean, sure, people think I'm crazy.

And I get punched a lot more.

And I'm naked in front
of strangers a lot more.

But, uh, I'm alive.

[VOICE BREAKING] And I'm happy.

And a lot of that is because of you.

You've become very dear to me.


We should get matching tattoos.

Like, I'll get half a heart on my hand,

and you get a half a heart on your hand,

and we put it together,
and it's, like, BFF's forever!

- Bam!
- You just...

You just ruin things.
Just... I mean, just...

Just ruin them. Ooh! Heads up!



Ah! Tss! Ooh! That burns!

- Ohh. Oh, that's better.
- Yeah. Ooh.

.srt Extracted, Synced and Corrected
by Dan4Jem, AD.I.MMXVIII