Kevin (Probably) Saves the World (2017–…): Season 1, Episode 10 - The Ugly Sleep - full transcript

Reveling in his success after finding the first righteous soul, Kevin attempts to help a man start dating again after a bad break-up. Meanwhile, inspired by Kevin's good deeds, Reese ...

Previously on "Kevin
Saves the World"...

I'm a messenger from God.
Oh, good.

I'm here to guide
and protect you.

The only job you have in life

is to build up
your spiritual powers

through acts of kindness
and selflessness.

God is gonna show you

how to find the other righteous.

Oh.

We're not gonna
do this again, right?

I'm really glad that you're not
just passing through.



I met the most
amazing woman.

I met an angel, Kev.

And I don't know what to do.

When are you gonna ask Amy out?

We're just... friends.

There is so much more there.

She's saying you'll find

a whole new generation
of the righteous.

I think there aren't anymore.

I convinced 35 celestial beings

to give up paradise!

I know where we'll find
the first righteous!

Laos.

I am so glad you came back.



And before anyone apologizes,
let me just say...

I understand why you strayed.

I know some of you
have been deceived.

You'd been led to believe that
our... that our path was false.

It's a time of confusion,
darkness.

But now light
has banished the shadows

and illuminated the truth.

Friends, meet the righteous
soul who will save the world.

Probably.

He looks...

Weak, vapid, grotesque, even?

Yes.

But when this man is awake,
he is a machine.

He is at one with the universe,

a divining rod
for righteous souls,

waiting to be anointed.

I was gonna say he looks
like a nice guy, but, yeah,

I'm sure he's the stuff
you said, as well.

You were right, Yvette.

All this time, you were right.

About the new righteous,
about our mission...

About everything!

Yes, I really was!

Yes, Wayne.

May we touch him?

Oh, well, what could it hurt?

Get in there, get in there!
See what it is!

Yeah.

I love you, too, Nanna.

Congratulations, Kevin.

You're a legend.

Reese,
you're gonna be late!

Two minutes!

Good morning!

Um, my wake-up call
was a bunch of strangers

sticking their fingers
in my mouth, so bad morning.

I apologize for my colleagues.

They're just...
They're just excited.

Our success has
really energized them.

But no worries.
They're gone now.

Good.
Reese, we got to go!

Feels good, doesn't it?

Hmm?
To have a clear path,

to understand what
we're working towards.

As long as we stay focused,

I think our job
is just gonna get easier.

Well, right now, my focus
is getting my niece to school.

Reese!

Come on!

Okay.

Gosh.

Are you kidding me?

This isn't my key.

What does it unlock?

Stay focused.

You know what to do.

Doing your homework
on the way to school.

Classic move.

Shut up.
I'm almost done.

14, 27, 9, 54...

Shut up, please!

- Morning, you two.
- Good morning, Ms. Allen.

Done!
I hate you.

Oh, good.
I hate you, too.

Um, you know, I'm actually
glad that I ran into you,

because I have
something for you.

It's silly, and, you know,
I don't e... I don't even know

if you remember, but, um...

Oh, my God.

Is this today?

Yeah.

Wow!

What's today?

It's National Bird Day.

Okay.

When your uncle and I
were in high school,

we used to celebrate
National Bird Day

as a way to combat
post-holiday ennui.

Oh, my God.
That's so crazy.

Where did this come from?

You remembered?

Aww.

You guys are so weird.

I know, right?

Hey, Reese!

Reese is getting tight
with the drama kids.

I'm glad she's finding
her place again.

Hmm.
I think having you here

has been a really... a really
positive influence on her.

I should, um...

Go?
Yeah.

All right.

Happy National Bird Day.
Happy National...

Oh.
Bye.

Oh!

Whoo!

I love this song.

Uh, no.

♪ I wonder where you are ♪

♪ How much I care ♪

Will you stop doing that?

It's not me.

Fine.

No music today.

I think the Universe
likes this song, too.

♪ Tell me how
to win your heart ♪

♪ For I haven't got ♪

Morning. We have a new
student starting today.

This is Jessica, from Seattle.

Can you all give her
a warm La Salle welcome?

That was truly, truly inspiring.

Now, Jessica's student buddy
is out sick today.

Would anyone like to volunteer

to act as Jessica's
substitute buddy?

Guys, come on.
You're bumming me out.

It's cool.
Um, I'll figure it out.

I have been dreaming of
these since we were in Laos.

Well, you deserve
to treat yourself,

because we have been Killin' it!

Ooh, sweet cinder block.

Oh. Thanks.

So, I found this
Canadian website

that posts listings
for missed connections.

Uh-huh.
I'm writing one.

I'm calling it
"Laos and Found."

That's good, right?

That is great.

Mind if I run something by you?

Yeah, go for it.

"I was a traveler in Laos,"

hitting the hotel bar
in search of a scorpion bowl.

You were a beautiful lady
with soulful eyes

"and hands as soft as tissues
with lotion in them."

You know, Canada is,
uh... it's pretty big.

There's a chance that
she may never see it.

Mm. Not possible.

If she's feeling half
of what I'm feeling,

she's probably
looking for me, too.

I'm-a keep
working on this.

You're the best, Kevlar.

Let me feel your hands.

No!

It's you.

Admit it.

Come on.

So...

So, I want to have a drink
at the hotel bar...

Oh, my God. Okay.
And then?

And then nothing.

I didn't think
he was gonna be there.

I thought I could be anonymous.

Okay.

So, you shared a drink,
talked a little, and then, uh...

Yeah.
...and then made,

sweet, sweet...

Kevin, I will end you.

I will end you right now.

Whatever he's experiencing
is entirely in his head.

Well, I don't know about that.

I mean, I think it seems like
the real deal for him.

Okay. Now that's just mean.

I have a delivery
for Kevin Finn?

Oh, that's me.

Here you go.

Where's the, uh...
the package?

Right here.

- That's for me?
- Yeah.

- Who sent it?
- Uh...

Just says here
it's from New York City.

You got a key, right?

I...

Oh!
Actually, I do.

Oh.

It's my old stuff from New York.

That's so weird.

Why would the Universe
send this to me?

Maybe there's something
in here that'll tell us.

Kevin?
Uh, what is this?

It's my, uh... my stuff
from New York.

It was in storage,
and it got sent to me.

Uh, would you give me
a hand moving it in?

Sure can't.

Why not?

Because you have terrible taste.

Aim.

Airplane chair?

Ah.

With so many decorative rivets.

Kevin, I would actually
rather sit on the floor

for the rest of my life than
have that chair inside my house,

so...

Just, yeah, you know what?
Just get rid of it.

I'm keeping some things, though.

This.

My favorite lamp.

And these.

Oof!

All right, well, you drive
a pretty hard bargain.

- Hm.
- So, okay.

Get rid of the lamp, though.

It's fine. We'll send
a truck to pick up the rest.

Okay.

Sorry.

Feels good to be getting rid of
all that stuff, am I right?

Totally.

I always hated these sheets.

My ex loved them.

Scratchy as hell.

Oh. That's the worst.

Yeah, all this stuff was hers.

Just getting rid of it.

Starting clean.

Cool.

Just happy to be moving on.

Charlie.

Oh. Kevin.

♪ Hello ♪

♪ Is it me you're looking for? ♪

Oh.

Song's been following
me around all day.

Wow.

Weird.

Yeah.

This was... This was
actually our song.

Really?

Yeah.

Huh.

Yeah, I haven't
heard it in a while.

Mm.

It's, uh, a little
upsetting, actually.

Do you want me to see if
I can turn it off, or...?

Yeah. That might be good.

Okay.

Uh, easy...

Easy.

♪ I long to see
the sunlight in your hair ♪

Uh, hang on.

Uh, I'll find it.
Yeah, uh...

Oh! Got it.
Here it is.

♪ And tell you time
and time again ♪

♪ How much I care ♪

Seriously, could you just...
get it off?

Yeah, I'm just, uh, trying.

Just a sec.

♪ Hello ♪

- Please...
- Uh...

♪ I've just got
to let you know ♪

♪ 'Cause I wonder
where you are ♪

Okay.

♪ And I wonder what you do ♪

♪ Are you somewhere
feeling lonely? ♪

- Seriously, not funny, man.
- No, I'm not trying to...

♪ Or is someone loving you? ♪

♪ Tell me how
to win your heart ♪

Not funny.

♪ For I haven't got a clue ♪

- Oh, boy.
- Yeah.

Uh, uh...

♪ But let me start by saying ♪

Found it!
There it is.

- Okay.
- ♪ I love you ♪

Uh, yeah.

Okay. Uh...

It's okay.

I'm okay.

♪ Hello ♪

Don't be crazy.
You're not gonna die alone.

You're gonna meet
someone right away.

Oh. I'm gonna sit.

It's not that.
It's just...

I had something real.

You know, we'd...

cook dinner together
and read the same books.

You know, plan these
long, epic road trips.

I mean, I want that again.

Okay. But...

Now you're getting
way ahead of yourself.

I mean, you need to...
You need to meet some people

before that happens.

Baby steps.

Just grab some friends,
go to a bar...

Get out there.

All my friends
are married with kids.

They're in bed by 9:00.

How about... How about
I take you out tonight?

Yeah, I don't know.

I've been wanting to try
that new beer garden

down on Spring Street.

I do like gardens,
especially beer ones.

Well, there you go.
Let's...

Oh.

Ah. My niece forgot
her history book.

Okay. Uh...
Oh, I got to run.

Um, well, meet
tonight at 7:00.

And, uh... And bring your, uh...
your garden... equipment.

Sorry. I gave up on
that one midway through.

Spring Street?
Yeah.

All right.

Okay, guys, we are all going
to read chapter 9 and discuss

the platform that led to
the election of Herbert Hoover.

Some key terms to consider...
during the campaign,

Herbert Hoover pointed
to the success of

the "Own Your Own Home"
program...

Reese!
...which he created

while he was
the Secretary of Commerce.

Hey. Could you pass
this over to Reese?

But although the program was
designed to help people,

it actually contributed
to the destabilization

of the banking system.

The program was designed
to boost the level...

It's Kevin.

...of home ownership
in the U.S.A....

Reese.
...through new rules

which allowed
the federally chartered banks

to expand their
mortgage lending.

How's your day going so far?

Also, relaxing regulations
for the Federal Reserve Bank...

Hey, bud, is that a Henley?

I used to wear those
all the time.

You into baseball?
Shh!

I am talking to my new friend.

Okay. What's going
on back there?

Okay. Um...

- Hi.
- Hey!

Just teaching?

Trying.

Cool.

Actually, could you come in?

Uh... really?

Yeah. No, I just...
I got to go check on

Miss Saffert's room because
the substitute was late.

Um, could you just
watch the kids for...

I don't know...
a few minutes?

Yeah, I'm sure I could teach
these youngsters a thing or two.

Okay. That's great.

Guys, keep reading
chapter 9 quietly,

and I will be right back.

Okay.

So, what's in chapter 9, guys?

Oh! You're doing
the Great Depression.

Well, good news...
I know all about that.

Um, watch this...
it was very depressing.

But...

great, because it...

Well, it showed that
the banking system was flawed.

And, um, I-I actually...
I was an investment banker

for quite a long time, so, uh...

... believe me,
I saw things

you would not believe.

It is a dark and horrible

but exciting world.

And apparently,
they're pretty happy,

but you know who
is not very happy,

uh, are his wife and kids.

So, you know, little lesson...

don't fake your own death.

It's harder than it looks.

But... ooh! we had
this other client who flew

to the Caymans
with $12 million... in cash...

duct-taped to his body because
he stopped trusting the banks.

So, in a way,
the... the same thinking

that sparked
the Great Depression

is still alive today.

Did he...
Did he fly first-class?

Weirdly, coach.

- Oh.
- Yeah. Oh!

And he had to wear
this big old adult diaper

because he didn't want
to use the restroom.

Okay. I think
I got it from here.

Uh, thank you,
Mr. Finn.

- Hey, glad to lend a hand.
- Good job.

Oh. All right, guys,

please finish reading chapter 9.

May or may not be
a pop quiz next week.

I don't know.

Hi. Jessica?

Uh, hi.

I'm Reese.

If you're still interested,
I can show you around.

Maybe tomorrow we can
have lunch together?

Yeah.
That'd be awesome.

All right.

Okay.

"To my lady in Laos."

We danced to the finest mariachi
music in Southeast Asia,

and it was...

"magical."

Okay. Calm down.

"Dancing with you
felt like..."

"...the beach on a summer day."

Mm. Now, that... that...
that actually sounds nice.

"I know losing someone
this special would normally"

crush a person... I mean,
just rip their heart out.

But I know deep down,
I'll see you again.

We'll be together.

"And then, every day
will be like summer."

That'll work.

That'll definitely work.

All right.

You want a wingman,
or you want to fly solo?

There's nobody here for me.
I can already tell.

You don't have
to find a soul mate,

just someone who you don't mind
talking to for a few minutes.

Then what? A date?

That sounds horrible.

Again, I think you're putting
too much pressure on this.

If you find someone
who interests you,

we can... we can
go out as a group.

Okay.
I'll go meet some people.

All right.

I was wrong.

I think I ruined
your friend Tyler.

How? Is he okay?

He's fine... for now.

He's so sure we're gonna
find each other.

But that's never gonna happen?

I mean, even if I appear
to him again, we could...

we could never be, you know,
what he wants us to be.

That's... That's just
not how it works.

Oh.

And I'm worried about
how Tyler's gonna take it

when he realizes his
"Lady from Laos"

isn't coming back.

Yeah, heartache's tough,

especially when you have
as big a heart as he does.

He is a pure soul...
maybe the purest I've met.

I mean, I never should've
allowed him to see me.

It was a mistake.
That was a mistake.

I mean, I don't know
what I was thinking.

- Hey, Kevin.
- Hey. Oh!

That was...
That was quick.

Do you need a little support?

I talked to someone
that didn't make me nauseous.

That's great.

I hope the offer
for the group date was real,

'cause I asked her out.

Of course it's...
it's still good, yeah.

I mean, I... I know exactly
who I'll ask to join us.

Where's your, uh...
Where's your lucky lady?

Um...

The brunette right there
in the dress.

Right there.

Great!

Oh, so great.

That's just... great.

Great!

Ugh.

Nope.

Nope.

Nope.

Is that Melanie Tripp?

Yep.

Recently released from a short
prison stint for larceny.

Ah.
Yeah.

Skipping down memory lane?

Mm, kind of.

Hey, is, um...
is Lori still annoying?

She does that, "How are you?"

Oh, yeah.
Yes, she is.

What are you doing?

I-I-I just got to find
a plus-one for tonight.

I kind of promised
someone that I'd go on

a double date with them.

Why don't you ask Kristin?

You guys have been
hanging out, haven't you?

Yes, we have.

The problem with that is,

she's the other half
of the double date.

Oh.

Oh, indeed.

You know, I always
thought you guys

would get back together someday.

Really?
Yeah.

I don't know.
You two just seemed to click.

You balanced each other out.

Okay, okay, okay, come on.
Move over.

So, you were trying
to find a terrible date

to make sure that Kristin knows

that you are not
interested in them.

I'll find someone.
No, no, no.

You know what?

I have the perfect
terrible date for you.

The STEM club
hangs right over there.

I've gone to school with most of
these people since kindergarten.

Mostly everyone is okay.

Cool.

Thanks for showing me around.

I know it's kind of weird
when people are like,

"Hey, be friends
with this stranger."

No big deal.

Where do you sit?

I used to sit by myself.

- Hey, Reese!
- But I've kind of gotten into

theater recently, so...

Nice. New posse.

Uh, this is Jessica.
She's new.

This is Alex, Kai,
Rory, and Zoe.

- Mm-hmm.
- Reese, did you finish

your history?
- Yeah, in study hall.

I'm still working on mine.

Uh, did you forget your lunch?

Nope.

I have to go to Miss Allen's
'cause she wants to discuss

my review of the play, so...

You were a little harsh.

It's why they call it
a critique, Alex.

Are you done with that?

Yeah.

Can I finish it?

Uh... sure.

Thanks.

I can loan you some
lunch money if you want to...

Oh, it's not about the money.

I never buy lunch.

I'm kind of like
an urban forager.

What does that mean?

I eat food before
it gets thrown out.

Do you know 40% of food
in America is never eaten?

Perfectly good food just
thrown away like garbage.

This is really good, though.

Thank you.

Mm. Are you
gonna finish that?

No.
Thank you.

Here you go.
Thank you.

I'm really glad
we could get together.

I've been kind of off
the dating circuit for a while.

And I'm not great
at meeting people.

Me neither.

It's awful, isn't it?
Yeah.

Dating apps and setups,
just leave everything to chance?

I-I never know what I'm...

Never know what I'm doing.

Oh. And I asked some
friends to join us,

if you're okay with that.
Yeah.

You know, to take the pressure
off, keep it casual.

Keepin' it casual is great.

That's... That's perfect.

That's great.

Oh! There he is.
Hey, man!

Oh! So, you're... So you're
friends with Kevin?

You guys know each other?

Hey.
Yeah.

Yeah, we... we... we... went
to school together, so...

Wow! This is funny,
isn't it?

Is your, uh, date on the way?

- Hey!
- Um, actually...

Hey, there! Hi!

- Hi. Amy.
- Charlie.

- Nice to meet you.
- We're... This is...

We're doing this.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

So, you guys ready
to double date?

Well, we don't have
to keep calling it that.

Uh, does anyone want drinks?

So, wait, um... you brought
your sister... as a date?

See, this is...

I feel like this is one of those
crossed-wire situations.

I thought, uh, that
this was more of, like,

a group hang more than a date.

- Oh.
- So, yeah.

I definitely thought
it was a date.

Same.
Yeah, well, maybe misheard.

I mean, "hang" and "date"...
they sound so much alike.

- Yeah.
- No, not really.

Well, "hang" "date," you know...

"Hey, we're going on
a group hang."

"Hey, uh, it's almost time
for our group hang."

So, it's crazy random
that you guys all

knew each other
in high school, right?

- Crazy.
- Yeah.

It was a little more
than that, you two.

These guys were
quite the couple.

Major item.

Well, ma-major item...
that's a bit much.

I wouldn't have
really have said...

Yeah.
Minor item.

Even not... Minor friendship,
if even an item.

- Just two minors.
- Pfft!

- You guys.
- Hmm?

People went as you guys
for Halloween.

Yeah. They even had a very cute
couple nickname.

- Stop.
- It was, like... It was Kristin.

Which I know...

Yeah, I know that's
her name, but it's not.

Kristin... the I-N from Kevin.

Oh, my God!
There is a thing in my drink.

It's a bug, it's a bug thing.

Don't... Don't
look at it.

It's a... It's a scary...
It's too scary.

Amy, will you please
help me come complain

to the bartender
about the bug thing?

- No.
- Amy, please.

What are you doing?
Wingmanning.

You got a bogey on your six,
and I'm shooting him down.

Well, stop it, okay?
All of it.

I didn't bring you here
to torpedo the date.

I'm just doing you a solid.

No! No solids
have been done, okay?

Maybe Kristin and I
aren't meant to be.

Fine.

I'll leave it alone.

Thank you.

But you need to be
honest with yourself.

Because if you're still
carrying something for Kristin,

you need to sack up
and do something about it.

Hmm.

Pretty strong words from someone
who won't take her own advice.

- Hey, Nate!
- What?

- How's it going?
- Hey.

- How do you feel about Nate?
- That's different.

Mm?
Okay? Be discreet.

Thank you.
But I don't want

to ruin what we have.

Well, I already did ruin
things with Kristin,

so from one failure
to another, cheers.

Ahh.

I win.

I'm, like, disgusted and
impressed at the same time.

It is pretty impressive,
isn't it?

I can't do these anymore.

These are great.

I'm starting to come alive.

I'm getting hot.
Is it hot?

Can I have a beer?

So, I sketched out a couple
ideas for the main backdrop.

So it's supposed to be
Salem in the 1600s,

but what if we set it in, like,
a messed-up sort of future?

Like... Like
"Blade Runner."

Yes.
Cool!

Everything else
will stay the same,

but, see, here's another idea.

Started that one, too.

Reese! Hey.

Isn't that the girl who ate
my leftovers today?

I have to get going.
I told my mom I'd be home early.

Hey.

You sure you don't want to play?

Oh, no. That's okay.

Uh, seems like it's going good.

It's going...
It's going great.

I... I knew it would.

You know, I can take it from
here if you want to split.

Yeah. Uh, yeah.
I'm just gonna...

I'll finish my beer
and take off.

Have fun.

♪ She's my lady ♪

He seems happy.

Why wouldn't he be?

Kristin is great.

How'd you fix him?

Because you need to do
the same thing to Tyler.

I can't... I can't stand
seeing him in this funk.

Well, that's the thing...
I didn't really do anything

but point Charlie
in a direction.

He was ready to move on.
He just didn't know it.

But how?

How does one become
ready to move on?

Uh...

I... honestly don't know.

You have to ask him.

- Damn.
- Yep, that's four in a row.

You owe me 20 bucks.

Now, what's
the lesson you learn?

Never play pool
with an engineer.

It's all about geometry.

Hey, uh, I think
I'm gonna get out of here.

Um, can Nate drive you home?

Mm-hmm.

You know, I'm actually
kind of done with pool.

You want to get out of here
and do something stupid?

I'm in.

Uh... how stupid?

Dealer's choice.

Oh. So...

incredibly stupid, then.

Before college, I was...
I was positive that I wanted

to be a doctor,
and then I had this just

amazing history professor,
and, well, the rest is, um...

Don't say "history."
Do not... Do not say it.

The rest is history.
Thanks. Yeah.

Another beer?

Sure.
Yeah? Okay.

First date?

How can you tell?

Um...

You're laughing a little
too hard at her jokes.

And she was letting you
win at pool.

It's been a while for me.

Just got over a serious
relationship, so...

And here you are,
finding love again.

Well, I wouldn't
call it love just yet.

We're still getting
to know each other.

Yeah, um, you can't truly love
someone until you know them.

So, it's a process.

It's like love at first
sight isn't even real.

Right.
Ah!

Ac... Actually, no.

I take all that back.

Love takes seconds.

Erica... uh, my ex.

Erica and I fell in love

the second we laid eyes
on one another.

She took my breath away.

Like a beach on a summer day.

Yeah.

Exactly like that.

So...

So how... how'd you
get over Erica?

I... really don't know.

That must've been weird,

going on a double date
with your ex?

And your sister?

I can't stress enough...
it was a group hang.

Okay.

I'm set.

So just give me the okay
when you guys are ready

to witness some
bad-ass skate moves.

Honestly, I think
he's wussing out.

He just needs to make a move.

Me?

Look at yourself.

Look at the position
you're in right now.

Okay. Fine.

Nate, will you go out on a...

- Aah!
- Ohh!

- God!
- Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!
Are you okay?!

- Oh, my God, no!
- Oh, Jesus.

- Kevin, I'm gonna kill you!
- Sit up, sit up.

- You said okay!
- I don't think

I'm gonna make it.
- You said okay!

- Look right.
- Did I chip a tooth?

Yeah, yeah, you're fine.

If she's talking, she's fine!
I can't move!

Ohh!
I can hear my rib parts.

People don't have rib parts.

They have ribs.

Chicken nuggets have rib parts.

Well, I have rib parts now,
and I can hear all of them.

Amy, could you get me some ice?

Why me?

You skated on my face.

Because I'm already comfy,
and it was kind of your fault.

You skated on my face!

Oh, Amy, I'm your brother!

On my face!
Let's get some ice!

Let's separate you two.

Do you remember
skating on my face?!

I'm asking for some ice,
as your brother!
Amy, Amy, please.

Wha...

Whoa!

- Kevin!
- Oh.

Yep. That's definitely
a concussion.

No. I just...

I was just doing stretches...
for the ribs.

You're not even looking
at what you're shredding.

Doesn't matter. I'm getting
rid of old baggage.

It's a purge.

Feels great.
Very freeing.

Hey, you know that thing you do,
helping people and stuff?

Mm-hmm.

Does it ever, like,
backfire on you?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it, uh, backfires
big-time.

But, um...

Whoo-hoo. Lucky me...
I don't have a choice.

Why not?

Reese, people are always
going to need help,

and I can't just look away
and pretend not to notice.

Not anymore.

I, um... I have to do
the right thing, and...

...sometimes
the right thing sucks.

Are you okay?

Are you going through
a teen... crisis?

Is there a mean girl at school?

Yeah, but I think it's me.

What... What do you mean?

Never mind.
I'll be down in a second.

Will you look at that.

How old are you two there?

18, senior year.
Oh!

Oh, and by the way, I, uh...
got my vision last night.

You did?
Mm-hmm.

Looks like the next righteous
person is in someplace snowy,

so I hope you packed your parka.

I... I... I don't get it.

What... What happened
to trigger the vision?

Obviously, Kristin
and Charlie hit it off.

Universe wants them together,
and because of me,

they are, so yeehaw.

Knock it off, Universe.

It's not the Universe.

This isn't funny.

You can't shred that.

I, for sure, can if you let me.

Tell me, what else was in that
pod from when you were 18?

Nothing, really.
I mean...

So... So you kept
that photo and only that photo

since you left home?

Yeah, I guess.
That seems dumb now.

Human emotions are still
very confusing to me,

but one thing
has become very clear.

Love is an emotion that cannot
and will not be ignored.

You can... You can try
to stuff it down,

you can... you can
pretend it's over.

But it's always there.

Right now, you have
a chance at happiness.

Why... Why don't you take it?

Because the Universe wants me
to get rid of everything,

so, you know, that
obviously includes Kristin.

What if the Universe
wants you to purge the things

that aren't real,
to let go of the clutter,

to reveal the one thing
that you've been holding on to

since you left home?

Okay. Ready.

So am I.

Watch the wet floor.

Oh, my gosh.
Kevin, are you all right?

Yeah. Um...

Oh, it's just the ribs again.

Wow. Oh.
Oh.

Just a second.

Um, so... hi.

Uh, about last night...

Yeah, thanks a lot for that.

For what?

Leaving me alone with an
emotionally unstable gentleman.

Who, Charlie?

It... It was going great,
and then I went to order

another round of beers,
I came back,

and he was crying, full tears.

Wet napkins...

I ended up driving him back
to his ex's place.

They're in love again,
by the way.

Uh...

Oh! So he was meant
to get back with her,

not to meet someone new.

Huh?

Huh? Oh!

I think it's just good news.

It's great. I mean, that's
great news... for Charlie.

I mean, it's...
Yeah.

...the best news.
I guess.

Yeah, I mean...

Well, so, I...

'Cause I have also
sort of been...

You know, I don't even
know why I went on a date...

with anyone.

Anyone?

What do...

Yeah.

I don't know. I just...
I'm... I'm still dealing

with some stuff.

Since my mom passed
and everything.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh! Hey, I meant to tell you,
they actually opened

a substitute-teacher
position.

Oh.
And seeing as you were

so good with my students
the other day,

I submitted your name.

Teaching kids?

No, I don't know.
I don't know about that.

Oh, come on.
It'll be fun.

We'll get to hang out more.

Uh, yeah, that...
that could be good.

Wait. Why are you here?

Uh, Reese forgot
her book again today.

Oh.

Which I forgot, too.

Okay.

Well, I guess I'll, um...
I'll just see you around.

Yeah.

Maybe as the new
substitute teacher.

Oh.
'Cause anything's
possible, Kevin.

Bye.

Bye.

- Who is it?
- It's me.

I, uh, brought you
the extra-strength stuff

from the first-aid locker.

Oh, great.

Uh, you could just...

Uh, you could
leave it out there.

Thank you.

Can I come in?

No.
Really?

Yeah, I don't look so good.

Yes.

"Yes" what?

To your question, yes.

I'd be very happy to go out
on a date with you.

No take-backs?

Pinky swear.

Oh.

Is it that bad?

I'm-a see you in two weeks
when you're all healed up.

You are a jerk!

I hate you!

Hey.

Why don't you come sit with us?

Uh, no, it's... it's cool
if you're embarrassed.

They gave me
way too much spaghetti.

There's no way
I'm gonna finish it all.

Yeah?

And Rory said you can have
the crust to his sandwich.

Hey.

Yeah, okay.

So, you're finally
getting a job.

Kristin wants me around
in her vicinity, and, um...

that means that when she's ready
to date, I will be there.

Like a stalker.

Like a friend... ly
stalker.

You do realize that you will
have to teach children.

I'm a sub.
That's what movies are for.

But still, sorry
you didn't get a chance

to tell her how you feel.

Well, and I'm sorry
you can't help Tyler.

I know that's weighing in you.

But he'll land on his feet.
He always finds the positive.

I'm sure that man will find
something to restore his faith.

Ah! G'day, Skipper!

All right.

Yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes!

You too!

Aah!

.srt Extracted, Synced and Corrected
by Dan4Jem, AD.I.MMXVIII