Just Shoot Me! (1997–2003): Season 6, Episode 18 - The Book of Jack - full transcript
Jack wants to write a novel but ends up using a ghostwriter. With him out of the office, Nina, Elliot, and Maya compete for power over the magazine. No one produces much of anything related to quality.
- Whoo. That's it.
Jack's flight is confirmed
for the next week.
He's on vacation.
I do as I please.
The world is my oyster.
- Snow White, you
just gonna sleep in late
and watch Regis and Kelly?
- Dude, please. What kind
of woman do you take me for?
I'm all about The View.
- Never mention that show.
I was this close to being the
20-something Asian woman.
- Well, Finch, sounds like
you've got a great week plan.
- Oh, I do.
Because for lunch,
I'm having pancakes.
That's right.
Jack hates people that
eat breakfast food for lunch.
It's gonna be a great week.
- Good morning.
Dennis, did you remember
to pack my scuba mask?
I want to see my
bare feet underwater.
It makes them look gigantic.
- Hey, you will wear
these aqua socks, mister.
- But-
- Yeah, there's
coral. There's jellyfish.
There's sharp
stuff that's pointy.
- Dad, I went to go
visit granny last night
and guess what she gave me.
- A glimpse into the lonely
future that awaits you?
- Oh my God, I haven't
seen this stuff for years.
- Oh, wow. Nude-y playing cards.
These women are enormous.
- Back then, that
was a good thing.
Now, we know better.
- Oh-la-la. Looks like D.
Finch is going to be playing
a little Solitaire this weekend.
- What's this?
- I don't believe it.
This was my dream.
- To own a notebook?
Those really were simpler times.
- I was 18 and I was gonna
write the great American novel.
- Hey, look at these.
Who's got a lighter.
- Come on. You
can't smoke those.
They're over 50 years old.
- No, that's why I can.
Back then, they
made them healthy.
See? No warning.
- You know, this is pretty good.
A little rough but I
really had a lot to say.
- So, why did you stop?
- Because I had another dream:
To become fabulously wealthy.
- It seems like you
made the right choice.
- What's that supposed to mean.
- It just means that you've
accomplished so much.
You're a great publisher,
a great philanthropist.
- And a great friend.
- Elliot, no one
likes a kiss-ass.
- Just being nice.
- Elliot, no one
likes a crybaby.
- You know what?
If I'd put my mind to
it, I'd bet I could write
a great novel.
Dennis, cancel my trip.
- What?
What about your big-ass feet?
- No, I'm gonna
stay home writing.
- Well then, I'll stay here
and keep things
running smoothly.
- No, I'll need somebody
to cook and clean.
- Don't you have a
housekeeper to do that?
- I was going on vacation.
I gave her the week off.
People need to rest, Dennis.
- Mm, it's like
smoking a vitamin.
- So, I guess we should
put the Spring wear layout
in the back of the
magazine like we usually do.
- Mm-hmm.
You know, it's just such a
shame because I always think
it should be at the front.
- Me too, because Spring says,
"My journey is commencing."
- Exactly. Spring
is the beginning.
Spring is birth.
- I have looked into April
and I see Spring has arrived.
I'm fertile and reborn.
- You know, I promised
myself I'd get drunk this morning
and then I didn't and
now I'm paying for it.
- Here's a crazy idea.
Let's put it at the front.
- Yeah, let's
put it at the front.
I mean, your dad did leave
the three of us in charge.
- If we're going to
make some changes,
let's make some changes.
- Make it so.
- Oh, what a rush.
- You know, I have
few other ideas.
- Then why stop here.
- Let's do it.
- I'm sorry. Did I
accidentally walk into
the offices of Dork Magazine?
If we're going to
be put in charge,
then why waste
our time doing work?
- Here's an idea...
What if we change
the color of the print
in the Table of Contents?
- Wow.
- Great, right?
- Yes, it so clearly
should be red.
- That's not bad
but how about blue?
- But, I'm pretty
sure it should be red.
Red is sexy.
- But blue is regal.
- No, you know what's blue?
That big fat vein in your head?
- Elliot, I feel
strongly about this.
- And so do I.
- You know you're going
to have to break the tie.
- Yeah, what do you think?
- I don't care. I don't care.
In fact, this question
is at the top of the list
of questions I don't care about.
Right after, "When
do we plant daisies?"
and, "What's so great
about Pennsylvania?"
Do you hear me?
I don't care.
- But if you had to choose...
- Obviously, red.
Now, if you'll excuse
me, I'm going to go
and enjoy one of those
delicious altar cigarettes.
- Hey, what... You
wanted me to do this.
- Do it later. I can't
have any distractions
when I'm writing.
And, for crying out
loud, get rid of that waffle.
It's 1:30 in the afternoon.
- Fine.
- What are you doing?
- I'm just going to get
some schoolwork done.
- Oh, Dennis, you can't write,
really write on a computer.
What you need is
this, the old typewriter.
Thought to finger, finger
to key, key to words.
- It's pretty much the
same deal over here.
- Anyway, now.
I begin.
Sounds like a lot of typing.
- Uh-huh.
- Little writer's
advice, Dennis.
Don't be afraid to put
some thought into your work.
- I'll keep that in mind.
- Here I go.
Chapter One...
Now, that feels good.
That's it.
We're switching.
- What?
- I want the computer.
I've been writing on
a computer for years.
This thing is an albatross.
- Fine.
- Sucker.
Okay, this is my life hit.
Just open a file...
New Document...
And now, I begin.
We're switching back.
- It's getting ridiculous.
- You know what?
Why don't you
just get outta here?
You're nothing
but a distraction.
- Really?
- Yes. Leave.
- Wee.
Alright. This is awesome.
Jack, don't you worry.
Things are gonna
turn around for you.
- Don't condescend to me.
Do you even know
what an albatross is?
- It's a large bird.
- It's a large
seabird, smart-ass.
- Hey, Nina, I got
you a little something.
- Nah, I'm not in
the mood for coffee.
- I threw in a shot of bourbon.
- That was very hot.
- There's something I
want to talk to you about.
The color blue.
- Oh, for God's
sake, not that again.
- Come on. You obviously
don't care, either way.
So, why don't you
just help out a friend?
- You really should
get that vein looked at.
- Look, here's
the truth, alright.
I can't stand taking
orders from Maya.
Just this week, I'd
like to be in charge.
And with your support,
we can vote her down
and then I can get what I want.
- So, what's in it for me?
- I don't understand.
Why are you in my dad's chair?
- Because this is my office now.
- What are you talking about?
You can't just come
in here and do this.
- Let's put it to a vote.
All those in favor of
Nina using Jack's office?
Aye.
- All against.
- Nay.
- You lose. Out you go.
- Oh, come on. You've
got to be kidding me.
- Wait wait wait wait.
There's still another
piece of business.
All those in favor
of changing the color
of the ink to blue?
Nina...
- Yes, red.
- Blue.
- Blue, whatever.
- You know, we make
a pretty good team.
- Why are you
still in my office?
- Don't touch those.
Move away.
- Let me just take a peek.
- I know. It's just not ready.
- How can I not like
something you wrote?
- I said, "No."
- But I'm getting, "Yes."
- You wanna read it? Fine.
- Mm-hmm.
Jack, this is page after
page of random letters.
- And numbers.
- It's really good.
- I've been sitting here
for three days and nothing.
So, I just started
banging on the keys
to see what it sounded like.
Click-clack-click-clack-click-c.
- Alright, you're scaring me.
- I can't do it, Dennis.
I can't write.
Me, Jack Gallo, I can't do it.
- I think you're making
too much out of this.
There is a couple of words here.
I mean, look.
There's "harp".
That's a word. I've heard that.
There's "gah". That's a
sound a baby might make.
- Get out.
Jack, now.
- Fine. I will.
But I'm just going on
the record of saying
I think there's
some real gold here.
- Hey, Maya.
There's still a lot of
work to be done this week
but not to worry.
I've made some decisions
that I think we can all sign off on
rather quickly.
For starters, I want
to go with Claudia
for next month's cover.
- I'm not so sure about that.
- Alright, you
wanna do this again?
Come on, Nina, we're voting.
- What's up?
- All those in favor of
having Claudia on the cover?
Nina, I want Claudia
on the cover so come on.
Hands, arms, pick up the pace.
- Maya bought me roses.
- What?
- All those in favor of
Stephanie on the cover.
Aye, as in I win and you
lose so I will be making
the decisions, I
will be in charge.
- I will buy you lunch.
- I have changed
my mind. Claudia.
- Back on top.
- We had a deal.
- Maya, roses die,
lunch last forever.
- I'll buy you a belt.
- I'll buy you shoes.
- I'll buy you a cashmere coat.
- Wow, Maya. Way
to raise the bar.
- Alright, I can match that.
Just give me a minute to think.
- Look, each of you wants to
make some very big changes
and I want some very big gifts.
So, let me make
this easy for you.
I'm just going to go
and register at Barney's.
- What?
- I must say, I'm doing a hell
of a job running this magazine.
And I'd dearly love it if
there was a cab waiting
for me downstairs.
- Four different ladies,
four different points of view.
Makes sense.
- Hello, is there a big
sleepy bear in his cave.
- Oh, God. Please go.
- Hey, I've got something
that will help you.
- Dennis, I'm unwashed,
unshaven, and I'm happy.
I just want to be
left alone right now.
- Or, you could meet Bob Fennel.
- Who the hell is this guy.
- I'm Bob Fennel.
- Yeah, he's my
English lit professor.
He can help you.
- It's really a little
late for all this.
- Give him a chance, Jack.
He's got some
serious credentials.
- I've had five
novels published.
- Boom.
- Really? Five novels.
- Yeah yeah. One of
them takes place entirely
in a lighthouse.
- Actually, just
the first 10 pages.
- You know what?
I think he can help me.
- Really?
- Yes, Dennis, leave us alone.
I want to get started right now.
- Wow. I kind of saved you?
Maybe, you'll write
about this moment.
- Maybe, I will.
- Oh my God. I
was like half-kidding.
- I need you to write me a book.
- Excuse me?
- I need a book.
- Mister Gallo, Dennis
asked me here to tutor you.
- Change of plans.
You're writing me a book.
- Look, that's not what I do.
- Fine, I get it.
Let me give you a
sample of my writing.
- That's more like it.
That way, I can
critique your style.
Suggest improvements.
Really examine the structure
of your story.
- How's that?
- Wow, that's good writing.
- I'll need the first
chapter in two days.
- Done.
- Just so you know, I see
myself as a Hemingway type.
And make sure there's a panther.
A Jack Gallo novel
would have a panther.
- You got it.
- And maybe a little romance.
They'll come for the panthers.
They'll stay for the love.
- Okay, let's make a magazine.
Maya, what have you got?
- Well, for the diet
and fitness section...
- I really don't care.
Just give me the bag.
Oh, perfume.
Yesterday, I seem to
remember some talk
about a coat but whatever.
Elliot?
Funny, I don't
recall registering
for a cheap, hideous scarf.
- Hey...
- What the hell is
wrong with you people?
Jack is coming back tomorrow.
We have many decisions to
make and what do you bring me?
Some sewer water and a rag?
Jack is going to be very
upset and I don't blame him.
- You know what?
What do you think of this, Maya?
All those in favor of Nina
doing the work by herself?
Aye.
- What? No, I'm
not going to do that.
- All those in favor of
blaming Nina when the work
doesn't get done?
Aye.
- Okay, you know what?
I'll take the cheap scarf.
Elliot, you win.
- Nina, you've got
a lot of work to do.
- Maya, my fragrant queen.
- I would get
started if I were you.
- Fine.
I'll do it and you know what?
I'll do a hell of a job.
Because Nina Van
Horn is perfectly capable
of overseeing the
production of this magazine.
Bring me a Xerox machine
and an old copy of Vogue.
We're gonna make a magazine.
- And he felt a warm
trickle fall from his cheek.
But it was not his blood.
It was the blood of the panther.
- Oh my God.
Dad, that was amazing.
- It was.
- No, I mean really,
really amazing.
I just never felt that
you could write...
- I wrote it, okay.
I'm sorry. I'm just very
passionate about this material.
- Jack, that was so good.
I think we should put it in
the magazine next month.
You know if, by
some happy accident,
we have 30 pages to fill.
- Wow, Jack, I am really moved.
I'm going to hug you.
- Please don't.
- I have to.
- So, dad, now that
you've started writing again,
you're going to
keep at it, right?
- What choice do I have, Maya?
It's in me.
Elliot, let go.
- Hello, Jack.
- Jeez, Dennis, you startled me.
What are you doing in my chair.
- I know.
- What are you talking about?
- I know...
- What do you know?
- I know!
- Okay, okay, you know.
How'd you find out?
- Because it's the same
as the lighthouse book.
Except the panther dies
instead of the harbormaster.
- Fennel, that
lazy son of a bitch.
- How could you?
- Okay, I'm sorry I lied.
- I don't care if you lied.
Lying's great. I lie everyday.
- Then what do you want from me?
- I've never seen you quit.
- I didn't quit as much
as you think I quit.
- What does that mean?
- It means that, even
when I bought the book,
I was still thinking
about what you did.
You know, bringing
the professor over.
Believing in me.
- Jackson Gilbert
Gallo, what did you do?
- I wrote something.
- Give me that.
"The Scariest,
Hairiest Panther".
- It's a children's story.
- Mm, I hope.
Oop, there's a big
panther and a little panther.
- I wrote it for Hannah.
It's about me and her.
- The little panther
helps the big panther.
- I lost my glasses
when she found them...
- What's so funny?
- The little panther
isn't Hannah.
The little panther is me.
- What, no. It's Hannah.
- Nice try, sir.
The panther has a gold
mane and dancing a happy jig.
If that's not D. Finch
in panther form,
I don't know what is.
- Dennis, seriously, I
wrote it about my daughter.
- Okay. But, hey, just
so you know, I know.
- Don't start with that.
- I know.
- I don't wanna hear that again.
Get out.
How did he know.
That bastard is one
clever little panther.
♪ Life keeps bring
me back to you,
♪ Keeps bringing me home,
♪ It don't matter
what I want to do,
♪ It's got a mind of its own,
♪ Life keeps bringing
me back to you,
Jack's flight is confirmed
for the next week.
He's on vacation.
I do as I please.
The world is my oyster.
- Snow White, you
just gonna sleep in late
and watch Regis and Kelly?
- Dude, please. What kind
of woman do you take me for?
I'm all about The View.
- Never mention that show.
I was this close to being the
20-something Asian woman.
- Well, Finch, sounds like
you've got a great week plan.
- Oh, I do.
Because for lunch,
I'm having pancakes.
That's right.
Jack hates people that
eat breakfast food for lunch.
It's gonna be a great week.
- Good morning.
Dennis, did you remember
to pack my scuba mask?
I want to see my
bare feet underwater.
It makes them look gigantic.
- Hey, you will wear
these aqua socks, mister.
- But-
- Yeah, there's
coral. There's jellyfish.
There's sharp
stuff that's pointy.
- Dad, I went to go
visit granny last night
and guess what she gave me.
- A glimpse into the lonely
future that awaits you?
- Oh my God, I haven't
seen this stuff for years.
- Oh, wow. Nude-y playing cards.
These women are enormous.
- Back then, that
was a good thing.
Now, we know better.
- Oh-la-la. Looks like D.
Finch is going to be playing
a little Solitaire this weekend.
- What's this?
- I don't believe it.
This was my dream.
- To own a notebook?
Those really were simpler times.
- I was 18 and I was gonna
write the great American novel.
- Hey, look at these.
Who's got a lighter.
- Come on. You
can't smoke those.
They're over 50 years old.
- No, that's why I can.
Back then, they
made them healthy.
See? No warning.
- You know, this is pretty good.
A little rough but I
really had a lot to say.
- So, why did you stop?
- Because I had another dream:
To become fabulously wealthy.
- It seems like you
made the right choice.
- What's that supposed to mean.
- It just means that you've
accomplished so much.
You're a great publisher,
a great philanthropist.
- And a great friend.
- Elliot, no one
likes a kiss-ass.
- Just being nice.
- Elliot, no one
likes a crybaby.
- You know what?
If I'd put my mind to
it, I'd bet I could write
a great novel.
Dennis, cancel my trip.
- What?
What about your big-ass feet?
- No, I'm gonna
stay home writing.
- Well then, I'll stay here
and keep things
running smoothly.
- No, I'll need somebody
to cook and clean.
- Don't you have a
housekeeper to do that?
- I was going on vacation.
I gave her the week off.
People need to rest, Dennis.
- Mm, it's like
smoking a vitamin.
- So, I guess we should
put the Spring wear layout
in the back of the
magazine like we usually do.
- Mm-hmm.
You know, it's just such a
shame because I always think
it should be at the front.
- Me too, because Spring says,
"My journey is commencing."
- Exactly. Spring
is the beginning.
Spring is birth.
- I have looked into April
and I see Spring has arrived.
I'm fertile and reborn.
- You know, I promised
myself I'd get drunk this morning
and then I didn't and
now I'm paying for it.
- Here's a crazy idea.
Let's put it at the front.
- Yeah, let's
put it at the front.
I mean, your dad did leave
the three of us in charge.
- If we're going to
make some changes,
let's make some changes.
- Make it so.
- Oh, what a rush.
- You know, I have
few other ideas.
- Then why stop here.
- Let's do it.
- I'm sorry. Did I
accidentally walk into
the offices of Dork Magazine?
If we're going to
be put in charge,
then why waste
our time doing work?
- Here's an idea...
What if we change
the color of the print
in the Table of Contents?
- Wow.
- Great, right?
- Yes, it so clearly
should be red.
- That's not bad
but how about blue?
- But, I'm pretty
sure it should be red.
Red is sexy.
- But blue is regal.
- No, you know what's blue?
That big fat vein in your head?
- Elliot, I feel
strongly about this.
- And so do I.
- You know you're going
to have to break the tie.
- Yeah, what do you think?
- I don't care. I don't care.
In fact, this question
is at the top of the list
of questions I don't care about.
Right after, "When
do we plant daisies?"
and, "What's so great
about Pennsylvania?"
Do you hear me?
I don't care.
- But if you had to choose...
- Obviously, red.
Now, if you'll excuse
me, I'm going to go
and enjoy one of those
delicious altar cigarettes.
- Hey, what... You
wanted me to do this.
- Do it later. I can't
have any distractions
when I'm writing.
And, for crying out
loud, get rid of that waffle.
It's 1:30 in the afternoon.
- Fine.
- What are you doing?
- I'm just going to get
some schoolwork done.
- Oh, Dennis, you can't write,
really write on a computer.
What you need is
this, the old typewriter.
Thought to finger, finger
to key, key to words.
- It's pretty much the
same deal over here.
- Anyway, now.
I begin.
Sounds like a lot of typing.
- Uh-huh.
- Little writer's
advice, Dennis.
Don't be afraid to put
some thought into your work.
- I'll keep that in mind.
- Here I go.
Chapter One...
Now, that feels good.
That's it.
We're switching.
- What?
- I want the computer.
I've been writing on
a computer for years.
This thing is an albatross.
- Fine.
- Sucker.
Okay, this is my life hit.
Just open a file...
New Document...
And now, I begin.
We're switching back.
- It's getting ridiculous.
- You know what?
Why don't you
just get outta here?
You're nothing
but a distraction.
- Really?
- Yes. Leave.
- Wee.
Alright. This is awesome.
Jack, don't you worry.
Things are gonna
turn around for you.
- Don't condescend to me.
Do you even know
what an albatross is?
- It's a large bird.
- It's a large
seabird, smart-ass.
- Hey, Nina, I got
you a little something.
- Nah, I'm not in
the mood for coffee.
- I threw in a shot of bourbon.
- That was very hot.
- There's something I
want to talk to you about.
The color blue.
- Oh, for God's
sake, not that again.
- Come on. You obviously
don't care, either way.
So, why don't you
just help out a friend?
- You really should
get that vein looked at.
- Look, here's
the truth, alright.
I can't stand taking
orders from Maya.
Just this week, I'd
like to be in charge.
And with your support,
we can vote her down
and then I can get what I want.
- So, what's in it for me?
- I don't understand.
Why are you in my dad's chair?
- Because this is my office now.
- What are you talking about?
You can't just come
in here and do this.
- Let's put it to a vote.
All those in favor of
Nina using Jack's office?
Aye.
- All against.
- Nay.
- You lose. Out you go.
- Oh, come on. You've
got to be kidding me.
- Wait wait wait wait.
There's still another
piece of business.
All those in favor
of changing the color
of the ink to blue?
Nina...
- Yes, red.
- Blue.
- Blue, whatever.
- You know, we make
a pretty good team.
- Why are you
still in my office?
- Don't touch those.
Move away.
- Let me just take a peek.
- I know. It's just not ready.
- How can I not like
something you wrote?
- I said, "No."
- But I'm getting, "Yes."
- You wanna read it? Fine.
- Mm-hmm.
Jack, this is page after
page of random letters.
- And numbers.
- It's really good.
- I've been sitting here
for three days and nothing.
So, I just started
banging on the keys
to see what it sounded like.
Click-clack-click-clack-click-c.
- Alright, you're scaring me.
- I can't do it, Dennis.
I can't write.
Me, Jack Gallo, I can't do it.
- I think you're making
too much out of this.
There is a couple of words here.
I mean, look.
There's "harp".
That's a word. I've heard that.
There's "gah". That's a
sound a baby might make.
- Get out.
Jack, now.
- Fine. I will.
But I'm just going on
the record of saying
I think there's
some real gold here.
- Hey, Maya.
There's still a lot of
work to be done this week
but not to worry.
I've made some decisions
that I think we can all sign off on
rather quickly.
For starters, I want
to go with Claudia
for next month's cover.
- I'm not so sure about that.
- Alright, you
wanna do this again?
Come on, Nina, we're voting.
- What's up?
- All those in favor of
having Claudia on the cover?
Nina, I want Claudia
on the cover so come on.
Hands, arms, pick up the pace.
- Maya bought me roses.
- What?
- All those in favor of
Stephanie on the cover.
Aye, as in I win and you
lose so I will be making
the decisions, I
will be in charge.
- I will buy you lunch.
- I have changed
my mind. Claudia.
- Back on top.
- We had a deal.
- Maya, roses die,
lunch last forever.
- I'll buy you a belt.
- I'll buy you shoes.
- I'll buy you a cashmere coat.
- Wow, Maya. Way
to raise the bar.
- Alright, I can match that.
Just give me a minute to think.
- Look, each of you wants to
make some very big changes
and I want some very big gifts.
So, let me make
this easy for you.
I'm just going to go
and register at Barney's.
- What?
- I must say, I'm doing a hell
of a job running this magazine.
And I'd dearly love it if
there was a cab waiting
for me downstairs.
- Four different ladies,
four different points of view.
Makes sense.
- Hello, is there a big
sleepy bear in his cave.
- Oh, God. Please go.
- Hey, I've got something
that will help you.
- Dennis, I'm unwashed,
unshaven, and I'm happy.
I just want to be
left alone right now.
- Or, you could meet Bob Fennel.
- Who the hell is this guy.
- I'm Bob Fennel.
- Yeah, he's my
English lit professor.
He can help you.
- It's really a little
late for all this.
- Give him a chance, Jack.
He's got some
serious credentials.
- I've had five
novels published.
- Boom.
- Really? Five novels.
- Yeah yeah. One of
them takes place entirely
in a lighthouse.
- Actually, just
the first 10 pages.
- You know what?
I think he can help me.
- Really?
- Yes, Dennis, leave us alone.
I want to get started right now.
- Wow. I kind of saved you?
Maybe, you'll write
about this moment.
- Maybe, I will.
- Oh my God. I
was like half-kidding.
- I need you to write me a book.
- Excuse me?
- I need a book.
- Mister Gallo, Dennis
asked me here to tutor you.
- Change of plans.
You're writing me a book.
- Look, that's not what I do.
- Fine, I get it.
Let me give you a
sample of my writing.
- That's more like it.
That way, I can
critique your style.
Suggest improvements.
Really examine the structure
of your story.
- How's that?
- Wow, that's good writing.
- I'll need the first
chapter in two days.
- Done.
- Just so you know, I see
myself as a Hemingway type.
And make sure there's a panther.
A Jack Gallo novel
would have a panther.
- You got it.
- And maybe a little romance.
They'll come for the panthers.
They'll stay for the love.
- Okay, let's make a magazine.
Maya, what have you got?
- Well, for the diet
and fitness section...
- I really don't care.
Just give me the bag.
Oh, perfume.
Yesterday, I seem to
remember some talk
about a coat but whatever.
Elliot?
Funny, I don't
recall registering
for a cheap, hideous scarf.
- Hey...
- What the hell is
wrong with you people?
Jack is coming back tomorrow.
We have many decisions to
make and what do you bring me?
Some sewer water and a rag?
Jack is going to be very
upset and I don't blame him.
- You know what?
What do you think of this, Maya?
All those in favor of Nina
doing the work by herself?
Aye.
- What? No, I'm
not going to do that.
- All those in favor of
blaming Nina when the work
doesn't get done?
Aye.
- Okay, you know what?
I'll take the cheap scarf.
Elliot, you win.
- Nina, you've got
a lot of work to do.
- Maya, my fragrant queen.
- I would get
started if I were you.
- Fine.
I'll do it and you know what?
I'll do a hell of a job.
Because Nina Van
Horn is perfectly capable
of overseeing the
production of this magazine.
Bring me a Xerox machine
and an old copy of Vogue.
We're gonna make a magazine.
- And he felt a warm
trickle fall from his cheek.
But it was not his blood.
It was the blood of the panther.
- Oh my God.
Dad, that was amazing.
- It was.
- No, I mean really,
really amazing.
I just never felt that
you could write...
- I wrote it, okay.
I'm sorry. I'm just very
passionate about this material.
- Jack, that was so good.
I think we should put it in
the magazine next month.
You know if, by
some happy accident,
we have 30 pages to fill.
- Wow, Jack, I am really moved.
I'm going to hug you.
- Please don't.
- I have to.
- So, dad, now that
you've started writing again,
you're going to
keep at it, right?
- What choice do I have, Maya?
It's in me.
Elliot, let go.
- Hello, Jack.
- Jeez, Dennis, you startled me.
What are you doing in my chair.
- I know.
- What are you talking about?
- I know...
- What do you know?
- I know!
- Okay, okay, you know.
How'd you find out?
- Because it's the same
as the lighthouse book.
Except the panther dies
instead of the harbormaster.
- Fennel, that
lazy son of a bitch.
- How could you?
- Okay, I'm sorry I lied.
- I don't care if you lied.
Lying's great. I lie everyday.
- Then what do you want from me?
- I've never seen you quit.
- I didn't quit as much
as you think I quit.
- What does that mean?
- It means that, even
when I bought the book,
I was still thinking
about what you did.
You know, bringing
the professor over.
Believing in me.
- Jackson Gilbert
Gallo, what did you do?
- I wrote something.
- Give me that.
"The Scariest,
Hairiest Panther".
- It's a children's story.
- Mm, I hope.
Oop, there's a big
panther and a little panther.
- I wrote it for Hannah.
It's about me and her.
- The little panther
helps the big panther.
- I lost my glasses
when she found them...
- What's so funny?
- The little panther
isn't Hannah.
The little panther is me.
- What, no. It's Hannah.
- Nice try, sir.
The panther has a gold
mane and dancing a happy jig.
If that's not D. Finch
in panther form,
I don't know what is.
- Dennis, seriously, I
wrote it about my daughter.
- Okay. But, hey, just
so you know, I know.
- Don't start with that.
- I know.
- I don't wanna hear that again.
Get out.
How did he know.
That bastard is one
clever little panther.
♪ Life keeps bring
me back to you,
♪ Keeps bringing me home,
♪ It don't matter
what I want to do,
♪ It's got a mind of its own,
♪ Life keeps bringing
me back to you,