Jane the Virgin (2014–…): Season 2, Episode 14 - Chapter Thirty-Six - full transcript
Jane and Michael are back together and Jane wishes she had never left Michael in the first place. Rafael appears to have regressed to his playboy ways and Petra is concerned about him. But Petra is not aware that Rafael is helping Michael find Mutter's other son, Derek. Rogelio's new assistant, Paolo, is actually his stalker Lola. Finally, Petra gives birth to the twins.
Okay, where to begin?
After being engaged and then broken up,
Jane and Michael
are finally back together.
Not as thrilled? Jane's baby
daddy/former boyfriend
Rafael, but that was over.
My feelings changed and
that's why we aren't together.
And he did say he'd try
to get on board with Michael.
Complicating everything?
His ex-wife Petra.
See, she impregnated
herself with Rafael's sperm.
And she was expecting
twins! Oh, and did I mention
Rafael recently got back
in touch with his mother?
You actually have a half brother.
- Oh, and turns out she's a crime lord.
- It's her!
So, yeah, tough times for the Rafster.
Also going through tough
times... Jane's father,
international telenovela
star, Rogelio de la Vega.
See, after he and Xo broke up,
he and Jane got into a fight.
I just think I need
some space right now.
Even worse, he was kidnapped
by his number-one fan/
fan/prison pen pal/new assistant!
No one can ever get out.
I know, bananas!
So let's see what happens next.
When Jane Gloriana Villanueva was
15 years old, she fell hard and fast
for romance novels.
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What the...?
Man, did Jane yearn to know
what that black ink was hiding.
It was as if her whole life
were leading up to that revelation.
Which brings us to last night,
just after Jane and Michael's
romance-novel-worthy kiss.
Jane was ready. The time was right.
What were they waiting for?
And so they finally had sex.
Lots and lots of sex.
Just kidding.
Geez, why are you all so obsessed
with that anyway?
- Here's what really happened.
- We got to take a break.
- No, let's have sex.
- What?
I mean, I've been
thinking about it, and it was
one thing to be a virgin when
marriage was on the horizon.
But then we weren't together.
And the finish line moved.
- And it seemed so far away!
- Closer now.
- Huh?
- The finish line.
- Because we're getting married.
- Oh...
that's true.
Yeah, and I wouldn't
even be waiting that long.
Well, on the other hand,
what's the point of waiting
if we're gonna get
married anyway, you know?
Well, I mean, I did want to wait.
- Yeah.
- And if it's gonna be soon.
Bro! You just blocked yourself!
In that case, get ready to be proposed
to, because it's gonna happen soon.
Very soon.
And so Jane and Michael
were back together.
And in some ways, it
felt just like old times.
They ate Cubanos.
Jane and Michael? You're back together?!
They sent cute texts to each other.
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They caught up on Scandal.
Honestly, I'm glad
Olivia's done with Fitz.
Oh, my God, I knew it.
- You kept watching without me. You did!
- No, I, no, I didn't...
- Some of the guys from the office...
- You're a total Gladiator, admit it.
Admit it.
But then again,
some things were different
because there was a baby.
And a baby daddy.
This seems like a good time to
catch up on what Rafael has been up to
these last ten days.
He has, in fact, been having sex.
Lots and lots of sex
with a lot of different women.
The exact number is not important.
But all six encounters
had one thing in common.
Let's talk contraception.
I probably can't have kids,
but we still need two different kinds.
I've got the condoms.
Then either the pill, an IUD, the patch,
the ring, the shot or the sponge.
Yes, Rafael had decided that
instead of no sex and babies,
he would try sex and
no babies for a change.
Sorry I'm late. I keep
missing that turn onto 3rd.
You'll recall Rafael
promised to try with Michael.
Guess I need to give
myself some more time.
Yeah, gets confusing.
So here he is, trying.
Don't worry, it took me a while
to figure out the neighborhood.
And the traffic on the I-95
is the worst, so it's...
In fact, I think it's safe
to say that all three of them
were finding this trying.
So, I'll check in with you later
and just tell you how he's doing.
Great, yeah. Have a
good time with Daddy.
All right. See you two later.
Mm-hmm.
I just, huh...
Did he seem okay to you?
Yeah, yeah, he seemed,
uh, you know, normal.
Like he was trying to be nice.
- Well, let's talk about it.
- No. I'm sorry.
- No, if you're, if you're worried.
- I'm sure he's fine.
In times like these, Jane couldn't
help but imagine what could've been
if she hadn't broken up with Michael
all those months ago.
The Sliding Doors version, as it were.
- Raf! Hey!
- Hey!
- Oh, come on in.
- Hey, come to Daddy.
- Jane, Raf's here.
- Oh, my boy!
- Hi, Daddy.
- Hi, how are you?
Okay, now that I have you two here,
we need to start planning
Mateo's first birthday party.
- Really? Three months early. Come on!
- I mean, that's a little early, Jane.
No way, you two. Don't gang up on me.
- Okay, it wouldn't be like that.
- Maybe not.
But if I hadn't left Michael back then,
things would be so much easier.
And tomorrow would be our
first wedding anniversary.
Really?
- What?
- Dad replied to my text.
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So immature. Did you
see his latest tweet?
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I'm getting pissed.
I know that I hurt his feelings.
But you don't just detach
yourself from your family.
There's no excuse for that!
How about being held hostage
by your old prison pen pal,
who disguised herself as your assistant?
- Please, let's talk.
- We will.
- Without the shackles!
- How can I trust you?
First you stopped writing to me.
Then La Miseria stopped airing.
I was your biggest fan!
Okay, if there's any hope
of recapturing the magic,
- I can't be shackled.
- What are you talking about?
Cesar the Barefoot Bandito
kept Estela in a love cage
until she finally
developed feelings for him.
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Look, you can't keep me here.
I will be missed.
Tiago starts a two-week break tomorrow.
- My family will notice I'm gone.
- You asked them for some space.
I'll stay in contact with them
for you. Give me your passcode.
No, I will not do it.
No, not the face.
Dear God, not the face.
007! It's 007!
Which brings us here now
to the biggest acting
challenge of Rogelio's career.
Thank you, dear Lola.
It's so hard to believe
I once feared you.
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In some ways, it was working.
Occasionally, she
removed his arm shackles.
See?
But not in all ways.
Another text from Jane?
"Dad, it's been two weeks.
I know I really hurt you and I'm sorry,
but please stop shutting us out.
When do you get back?"
_
Please, Lola, she needs more than that.
She's missing her father.
I'll think about it.
- Time for night-night.
- Maybe one night without the pill?
I love you, Rogo.
Heard you got a lead
on our missing person.
Yep, Derek's ex-girlfriend
is back in town.
I know what you're thinking.
Who is Derek? Well, Derek is...
Actually, what the hell? Let's
Scandal our way through this.
What? Michael's not the only fan.
Derek Ruvelle, son of Rafael's
mother, Elena Di Nola.
Rafael's half brother.
Is he a good guy or a bad guy?
Here's what we know... rich
kid, dropped out of Pepperdine.
- Classic Trustafarian, he travels.
- Spends his mother's money.
Here's where it gets exciting...
Our buddy Derek disappeared
the day after Mutter's
identity was discovered.
Social media accounts remain silent.
Last known whereabouts place him
in St. Croix traveling with
this woman, Avery Van Allen.
- So find me Avery Van Allen.
- Just landed back in Miami.
She was in Ibiza.
Want me to pick her up?
Νο. Let's see if we can
catch her off-guard.
Before she knows we're looking for her.
No, definitely not. I have no
interest in finding my brother.
I know that. I'm just asking you to
help us make contact, get information.
Sorry, I'm not getting involved.
Well, looks like Rafael's pretty
much killing my investigation.
Oh, wait, I'm sorry.
This is a Rafael-free zone.
- What is, what is all this?
- Well, it's silly, but
today we would've been married one year.
So I thought we might
as well celebrate anyway.
Old-school Jane and Michael style.
- Oh, yeah? Old-school?
- Mmm, hard-core old-school.
Oh, I had the same thought.
- Happy would've-been-our-anniversary.
- Oh...
- Open it, open it, open it.
- Okay!
No way.
- The new Angelique Harper?
- Mm-hmm.
Oh... Thank you, thank you, thank you.
And a hardcover, how decadent!
Υou know me... Living large.
And this is good. I can look
at her without cringing.
Ah, yes, you'll recall
this happened last year.
Even my masseuse has a manuscript.
- Oh, no, no, I'm not...
- You don't want me to read that?
Well, I-I do...
Let's see how the massage
goes first, okay, honey?
I wonder why she never
responded to my chapter.
She liked my massage, trust me.
Lots of moaning.
- Ooh.
- Oh.
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You all right?
Yeah, fine.
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Okay, let's eat.
Wait, I thought tonight was
old-school Jane and Michael.
- It is.
- So what would old-school Jane do?
Beg to push dinner for an hour
so that I could start reading.
Fine, one hour.
Oh, man, a new Angelique Harper!
Let's see what it's about.
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Huh, that's weird.
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Wait a minute.
- What's going on?
- Angelique Harper stole my idea.
Just listen! "The harrowing
story of a young woman
who bravely goes undercover
as a man during the Revolutionary War
and falls for her mysterious
commanding officer"?
She just changed the war and the names!
Turns out, she's coming
into town for her book tour.
- She is? Perfect.
- Mm-hmm.
I'm gonna confront her,
and I am going to tell her
not only has she
invited a major lawsuit,
but she has lost a very loyal fan.
How similar are they?
Where's your computer?
What's Alba do with your laptop?
Watching this Venezuelan priest
who puts his sermons online.
Pablo? As in Pablo Alonso Segura,
the man Alba lost her virginity to?
Let's translate this.
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What?
Nothing.
Uh, so how do I prove plagiarism?
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My girl is "plucky and
stubborn to a fault."
She calls Clementine
"scrappy and bullheaded."
Write everything down, every similarity.
Prohibitive similarities,
that's what we're looking for.
Which is tricky, because there's
coincidence. There's this case
of Dennis the Menace. Two
separate cartoonists...
Shh. I need to get through this.
You know what, I'm gonna
call the DA tomorrow
and ask her legal advice.
Jane.
It'll be okay.
Yeah.
I just loved that idea.
And I was gonna go back to it.
And now I can't.
I can't even... Is she why you've
been late to so many meetings?
No. No! Told you.
Jane and I have been
getting our signals crossed.
You're hungover. Again.
Oh, Petra, honestly, back off.
Not in the mood. I'm tired.
You're tired?
I'm full-term with twins.
Do you have any idea how rare that is?
I'm a medical freakin' marvel.
I'm just blowing off
some steam, I guess,
before I become a father of three.
No, you're not.
No, you're going to that
dark place of yours.
- What?
- Yeah, that place you go to.
In his defense, he had just discovered
his stepmother and his
mother were rival crime lords.
Oh, and Jane dumped him.
- I just have a lot going on.
- Yes, I know.
But all that other stuff,
it's out of your control.
And you're about to
become a father of three.
So enough with the
self-indulgence and grow up.
Yeah.
- No, you're right.
- Really?
Huh, that was easy.
So it's gonna be hard
but not impossible.
The DA says the first
step is establishing
that your material predates Angelique's.
Did you e-mail the chapter
to anyone around then,
so we can, you know,
establish your timeline?
Yeah, um, Rafael.
Okay, so let's search your sent e-mails.
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- We don't have to do this right now.
- No, it's... it's important.
Okay, so let's search your sent e-mails.
You must have sent it to me, right?
Of course I did, because
you read every single draft
of every single thing I do.
Yep, there's my story.
Team Cordero-Villanueva for the win!
- Look, at least you found the e-mail.
- Okay, shh, shh.
Hi there. Allison?
Yes, it's Olivia, Angelique
Harper's assistant.
We met in the city during the holidays.
Anyway, um, I'm doing some bookkeeping,
and I wanted to know if you
know what fiscal quarter,
uh, Angelique's first draft of
Revolution of the Son came in?
Me? Olivia... Pope... erson.
What? Oh, you know what,
I can't hear you!
Yeah, I think I'm just, like, under
a tunnel, so I'll just call you back!
Okay, you were right.
That was a horrible idea.
- Mom.
- You got to see this.
What?
I was checking my e-mails, I swear.
I didn't mean to see
it, but there's this chat
between Mom and some guy.
Oh, Mom, don't look at those.
- Come on, she was using my computer.
- Too late. Too late.
"My glorious Alba, how I
long to see you, to touch you,
- to kiss you..."
- Okay, enough, Mom.
"like I did in 1972 when we made love"?
Oh, my God.
She had sex.
With a guy who wasn't Dad?
Wait, why aren't you freaking out?
- Did you know?
- Yeah, but she just told me it happened.
She's really embarrassed,
so don't say anything.
- Mom, I'm serious.
- What a hypocrite.
- Let it go.
- Says the girl who just impersonated
Angelique Harper's assistant.
- What?
- Why don't you let that go?
That's different.
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Oh, uh, nothing.
We were actually just, um...
discussing one of Angelique's
passages from her book.
And the fact that you had sex
before you were married!
- Seriously?!
- You told her?
No. No, she read the
messages from Pablo.
You lied to me this whole time?
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Oh, my God, are you serious?
You're such a hypocrite.
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I did not sleep around, Ma!
Do not make me feel like a slut!
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You are! Like you always have!
And I am not!
I am just a normal woman
who enjoys having sex.
And you have made me feel like
crap about it my entire life!
And that's why I'm so pissed.
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She's right, Abuela.
I'm gonna go make sure that she's okay.
Hey.
You okay?
Yeah, I just...
I don't know.
It just came out.
You don't have to explain.
- Your dad's tweeting again.
- Really?
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Talk about a staycation.
Okay, last photo,
and you'll tweet that you're so sad
that the trip is nearly over.
Perfection.
Well, that's easy.
I am sad. Because this
time has been so special.
That's one way to put it.
And now we must return to reality,
as the couple we are.
- If you return.
- Hmm?
We're at the part of the
story that I love so much.
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And that's how I feel.
I love you.
- But, see, I don't believe you.
- What?
It doesn't feel the same,
like you love me like that.
- But I do.
- Don't lie to me!
Okay, fine, you're right.
We're not at the part of the
story where I'm in love yet.
We're in the part of
the story where Estela
realizes there's something
holding her back.
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You have alienated me from Jane.
She still thinks I'm angry with her.
And you won't let me
put her mind at ease.
Bravo, Rogelio! Daniel
Day-Lewis would be proud!
Look...
Look, I understand family.
I miss my mother every day.
Sometimes I wish I hadn't killed her.
As a gesture, to improve our
relationship, let's reply.
- Good.
- I'll type!
What do you want to say?
"Dear Jane.
I'm sorry I haven't reached out.
It's just that I'm having
a wonderful vacation...
and service has been spotty.
But you don't have to apologize.
It's fine.
I love you.
And tell your mom, 'besos.'"
Hmm. Something tells me a besos
is not just a besos, in this case.
And then I usually add four
happy-face-heart-eye emojis.
"Besos"? What the hell is
that supposed to mean?
What do you mean?
It's a sweet message finally.
- It's not sweet at all.
- Why?
Yes, why? What is it, Xo?
He used to end his texts to me with
"besos" until I made him stop.
You respond to your
creepy Twitter stalkers
and tell them, "Besos"?
Each and every fan is a gift, Xiomara.
Yeah, but you say the same thing to me.
I don't want to be lumped in
with thousands of other stalker fans.
Millions.
And you're right, I will never
text "besos" to you again.
You're too special to me.
And now he texts it to me?
What am I supposed to think?
"Besos" equals "creepy stalker."
He's obviously being passive-aggressive.
I'm not special anymore.
No, that's not it!
Anyway, I should just
stop obsessing about this.
I should just let it go, right?
No! Don't let it go!
Probably
But I am gonna write him back, okay?
You should. Absolutely.
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"I really do feel
terrible that I didn't come
to the Tiago premiere.
I should have been there,
but you have to know how
important you are to me,
and I miss you and love you,
and as soon as you
come back from vacation,
I want to see you."
- You're lucky to have her.
- I really am.
And I look forward to you two
getting to know each other better.
All right, let's give
you your sleeping pill.
I'm telling you, he was out of it.
Like, a sloppy drunk mess.
At first I wasn't sure it
was Rafael, but it was him.
You positive about that?
Talk or you're fired.
It takes four texts and three
phone calls for you to pick up?
I was almost asleep.
You almost woke up Mateo.
Well, this is important.
Something's up with Rafael.
- Petra, that's not my responsibility.
- Are you kidding me?
This is Mateo's father.
- I know.
- And I'm worried.
He's been neglecting work lately,
and he's been drinking a lot.
Our server saw him wasted
at the Fontainebleau today.
He told me he was with Mateo. Was he?
- No.
- I tried to talk to him,
but I guess I didn't get through. And...
he listens to you. Please?
Jane.
You okay?
I'll call you back, okay?
- But I...
- I'll call you back.
What's wrong?
That was Petra.
She's worried about Rafael.
He's been off lately and was totally
wasted today at the Fontainebleau.
Look, I'm sorry to bring him up, it's...
it's just, I'm... I'm worried, too.
It...
- it's not what you think it is.
- What?
Rafael was there today because
he's working with the police.
Let me fill you in. Remember this?
- I just have a lot going on.
- Yes, I know.
But all that other stuff,
it's out of your control.
Rafael realized it wasn't in
fact all out of his control.
There was one thing he could do.
I want to help you find my mother.
- You guys are working together.
- Yes, but...
look, that's obviously privileged.
I didn't want you to
go chasing after him.
I wasn't gonna go chasing after him.
Didn't mean it like that.
I know.
Or maybe I did.
I'm sorry.
I'm... I'm just trying to be honest.
Seeing those e-mails between you two,
it really bothered me.
- I know.
- You were in love with him.
And I knew that.
But seeing them...
I don't know.
- It brought me back to that night.
- I can't be with you.
I'm so sorry, Michael.
I keep telling myself
it won't happen again,
but... you know.
Trust me, I wish I could go
back and make a different choice.
And you don't have, like,
a boat sale coming up?
No. Got it.
Okay, let's pull the trigger.
Thank you. Whew.
- $400 for a boat rental?
- It's worth it.
Michael keeps going back to that
moment, so I want to redo it.
Make a new memory for us.
The way it should have happened.
Petra?
Look, I need your help. Don't worry,
it's not about Rafael. Well,
it is, but only peripherally.
- He just canceled on me.
- Hi, Petra.
Oh. Hello Xiomara.
- Cute shorts.
- Thank you. Your hair is nice.
Thank you.
Anyway, Rafael...
was supposed to take me
to my birthing class... A class
he insisted on signing me up for.
I don't want to go alone and sit there
with all those smug
judgy moms staring at me.
Okay, so... are you here to
ask me if I'll go with you?
Would you? I don't want to go alone.
Can you watch Mateo?
Okay, let's do it.
- You sure you don't want me to drive?
- Nope. Have to keep control of the car.
'Cause we're not going to birthing
class, we're going to confront Rafael.
- What?
- Sorry, I had to get you into the car.
I tracked him down using
Find My Phone. He's at The W.
Yeah, probably meeting, like,
a work contact for happy hour.
Or a person of interest
for the police for happy hour.
Oh, my God! Stop being so naive, Jane!
This is serious! Look, he listens to you,
so we're going to confront him together.
Do something, Jane! Or Petra's
gonna blow this investigation wide open!
Freeze! Don't move.
Wow, that generic
drugstore tan-in-a-box
isn't doing you any favors, buddy.
Bless you, Lola... I feel
so much better now.
You're so thoughtful.
Tell me, when we emerge as a couple,
do you prefer... Rola...
or Logelio?
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Let's think about it tonight.
After a special dinner.
Sure.
And it's special... why, exactly?
Because there's a full moon.
Don't you remember? Cesar and Estela
ate dinner and then
they finally made love...
in the light of the full moon.
What?! Rafael's working with the police?
Well, you could've told
me this an hour ago.
Have you got any idea how hard
it is to drive this pregnant?
Seriously? You practically kidnapped me!
Whatever. Let's go.
Join me in welcoming best-selling
romance novelist Angelique Harper.
- Ugh!
- What? I thought you loved her.
Didn't... Rafael, like,
propose or something during a reading?
Yeah. But after,
well...
I went to her room with my chapter,
she mistook me for a masseuse,
I gave her a 90-minute massage,
and then I gave her my chapter,
and then she stole my idea.
- You gave her a massage?
- Did you not hear me? She stole my idea.
She did.
It's always so interesting to
hear what inspires an artist.
How did Revolution
of the Son come about?
You know, it's funny.
I was getting a massage,
and I was... so relaxed,
the idea just sprang
from my head fully formed.
Not unlike Athena,
from the head of Zeus.
- Oh, my God, she stole your idea!
- I told you!
- I'm just trying to let it go.
- Let it go? What is wrong with you?
No, we can't let her get away with this.
Where's that book signing?
We're gonna get her to admit it.
You want to help me?
Okay, don't make it
into a thing, all right?
I'm overdue with twins and
looking to yell at someone.
- This could take hours.
- All right.
Excuse me, pardon me. Hi.
I'm sorry, I'm pregnant.
Do you mind if I just
kind of squeeze through?
I really appreciate it. Excuse
me, pardon me. Could I...
- No.
- Oh.
Yeah, never mind. We'll wait.
You need some prep time, anyway.
So, what are you gonna say to Angelique?
Trust me, I've been rehearsing this.
I'm gonna say, "Do you remember me?
You stole my idea.
I left a chapter with you."
And I threw it away... I don't
accept unsolicited materials.
- What are you doing?
- Toughening you up.
- I'm sure any similarity was coincidental.
- Coincidental? It's the same idea.
- Security, take her away.
- Okay, enough. You made your point.
What do you suggest I say?
I have a confession.
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A confession?
So early in the day?
Well, it must be the tequila.
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It wasn't totally random...
our meeting.
I'm trying to find my brother.
- His name's Derek.
- What?
Hold on. Wait, wait. Look,
I just need to talk to him, okay?
- He's my brother.
- Stay away from me. All of you.
Hi, Angelique. I'm here
because the plot of your book
was stolen from a
chapter that I gave you,
and I've had a committee
of independent authors
review the works side by side,
and my legal team seems to think
I have a pretty strong case.
So I'm here to tell you
- that a formal complaint is forthcoming.
- All right. Better.
- Yeah, right?
- Yeah. But you need
to drop your voice another octave.
And never lose eye contact.
Calm. Quiet.
It's always much scarier.
It really is.
- Got it. On it.
- Good.
You're welcome.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh!
Sorry. I feel like I'm peeing my pants.
- The babies must be right on my bladder.
- Really?
Are you sure that your
water just didn't break?
What? I don't know. You're
the one who had a baby.
My water didn't break.
It's-it's rare, actually.
That's true. My sister's did.
It's not a big splash
like they show on TV.
- Does it feel like you're peeing?
- Yep. Just feels like you're peeing.
- Oh, my God, I feel like I'm peeing!
- Okay, all right, stay calm.
- We're gonna go to the hospital.
- You're up, miss.
Go. I'm calling an Uber.
I'd be lying if I said Jane
didn't briefly consider it.
No, no, come on, come on.
Step aside, people, she's having a baby!
Two babies!
Oh, boy! Looks like
we're doing this again!
Where is he?
Michael's getting him,
Rafael's gonna be here.
No, not Rafael, the doctor with
the drugs, I need the drugs.
Oh, good. Uh, she is
ready for her epidural.
So, here's the thing.
You can't have one, Petra.
Your blood tests indicate
that your platelet levels
are too low, it's too risky,
you could bleed too much.
- Any wiggle room there?
- Excuse me?
Look, if there's a
50% chance I won't die,
- I'd like to go for it.
- She's kidding.
- No, I'm not kidding.
- Petra, you can do this. She can do this.
Hurry!
Multi-car accident up ahead,
fire, the works.
The highway's down to one lane.
Yeah.
_
_
Oh, no, it's coming back.
Oh, oh, oh, oh... oh...
Okay, breathe. Breathe...
Oh, shut up, that's not working!
Is it me or is labor
making Petra meaner?
- Don't clench, you gotta let go.
- Distract me!
- Um, okay...
- Quick!
Uh, uh, uh...
Michael and I are having issues.
Did you ever see that
movie Sliding Doors?
- Hated it.
- Anyway, I just keep thinking
about how I screwed things up and how
I wish I could just take it back.
- That's so stupid.
- What?
Well, clearly things weren't that great,
or you wouldn't have broken up.
Let the past go...
Says the woman who artificially
inseminated herself with her ex's sperm.
Trust me, I'm regretting that now.
Also full of regrets?
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
Thanks, Ma.
Here's how you can make it up to me.
You can tell me about Pablo.
I'm serious.
I want details.
What did he look like?
_
_
Huh?
"Sexy, strong, like the man
she knew all those years ago,
out on the battlefield."
Keep reading! Oh. "She-she
couldn't be sure it was
him, but it was. They spoke.
"Oh!" her father said.
The pain was unbearable.
It was the kind of pain
that tore through her."
Breathe, Petra, breathe.
"It was him. He looked at her and her
breath caught, just like always..."
And a funny thing happened
as she read from her novel:
Jane realized her book and Angelique's
weren't actually that similar.
Well, except for the
cross-dressing premise,
but, really, Jane had ripped
that off of Twelfth Night.
And Shakespeare had based his
on some Italian play and...
What's wrong with you? Keep reading!
"Mauricio's skin was
glistening a little. Sweaty."
Looks like you finished dinner.
Do they really make love right after?
Because I get a little
bloaty after dinner.
To true love.
And all the different ways it grabs you.
Okay.
Get ready.
Are you all right?
- Just got a little tired.
- Let's cuddle up then. Here, lay down.
- Okay.
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- Just for a minute.
- All right.
Okay, so here's what happened.
Remember this?
Let's give you your sleeping pill.
Rogelio considers his oily
T-zone to be his one facial flaw.
And so he had the costumer of Tiago
sew a special pocket in his
underwear where he could stash
a secret supply of pressed powder.
A little powder panty pocket.
And he stored the pill in there.
And from there, he
slipped it into her drink.
Hurry, Rogelio. Just find the
keys and get out of there!
Okay, here we go.
I'm gonna need you to push.
- Where's Rafael?
- Uh, he's hurrying.
- I'm not gonna make it, am I?
- I don't think so.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
- Come on, Petra, push.
- I can't. I can't anymore.
And so Jane said the words her
grandmother said to her mother
and her mother said to her...
Five minutes of pain for
a lifetime of happiness.
_
_
It's time, Petra. Push again.
- No, I'm done. I can't.
- I'm gonna need you to push.
- No, I can't.
- Are you serious?
After all that talk in the line at
the bookstore about being tough?
Suck it up
and push those babies out.
Here she is. A little girl.
She's beautiful.
- Oh, okay.
- Yes.
Okay. Ready to go again.
- Huh?
- Yeah.
Come on.
- Is it over?
- It's over.
You did it.
You did it.
I'm sorry I called you
all those horrible names.
- You didn't.
- Oh, I did. Trust me.
It was just in Czech.
Thank you, though.
Of course.
Hey, do you want to know their names?
Rafael and I already decided.
Elsa.
- And Anna.
- Wait...
- What?
- Elsa and Anna?
Like in Frozen?
- What do you mean?
- That's the names of the sisters.
In Frozen.
- The movie?
- Oh.
Well, no one except for
you would think of that.
Let it go, Jane.
Nice names.
- Just beautiful.
- Oh, I missed it.
I can't believe I
missed it. How are you?
- I'm okay.
- She was a warrior.
Here.
- That's Elsa.
- Oh.
Hi. Hi, Elsa.
Hi, Anna.
Oh, wow. They're beautiful.
They are, right? It's not just me?
No, they're perfect.
They're so perfect.
Oh, yeah!
I'm starving. Salt
and vinegar. You rock.
Wow. Easy to please.
And to think, I rented a boat.
I wanted to go back and redo the
moment when things went wrong,
- when I made the wrong choice. Oh,
- I shouldn't have brought that up.
No. No, it's okay. Because, um,
I realized...
I don't want to go back.
I mean, there was a lot of
stuff wrong in our relationship.
I mean, you weren't being
honest about who you were.
I wasn't being nest about
what I wanted in life.
And that's why we broke up.
Are you breaking up with me now?
Never. No.
I'm just saying I don't want to go back.
Because we're better now.
- Yeah.
- And I want you to know
that you are absolutely who I want.
And I'm not going anywhere.
I'm not either.
Oh.
I wasn’t gonna do
this here, but, Jane...
- Yes! Yes! Okay!
- Wait, wait. Can I ask?
- Okay, get ready. Jane, will you...
- Yes. Sorry. Yes.
- Sorry, sorry, sorry!
- Will you... will you marry me?
- Will you marry me?
- Yes! Yes!
Ah, true love.
The kind Angelique
Harper might write about.
Were this a romance novel.
_
But, of course, it's not.
I thought you'd be excited.
_
Yep. And he's coming.
Xiomara.
_
_
_
Ocean view, perfect.
And how long will you be staying for?
Not sure.
I knew it. You were lying to me.
Please, Lola. Don't make me do
it. Please stop or I'll shoot!
You would've shot me?
No.
I knew it was a fake.
_
After being engaged and then broken up,
Jane and Michael
are finally back together.
Not as thrilled? Jane's baby
daddy/former boyfriend
Rafael, but that was over.
My feelings changed and
that's why we aren't together.
And he did say he'd try
to get on board with Michael.
Complicating everything?
His ex-wife Petra.
See, she impregnated
herself with Rafael's sperm.
And she was expecting
twins! Oh, and did I mention
Rafael recently got back
in touch with his mother?
You actually have a half brother.
- Oh, and turns out she's a crime lord.
- It's her!
So, yeah, tough times for the Rafster.
Also going through tough
times... Jane's father,
international telenovela
star, Rogelio de la Vega.
See, after he and Xo broke up,
he and Jane got into a fight.
I just think I need
some space right now.
Even worse, he was kidnapped
by his number-one fan/
fan/prison pen pal/new assistant!
No one can ever get out.
I know, bananas!
So let's see what happens next.
When Jane Gloriana Villanueva was
15 years old, she fell hard and fast
for romance novels.
_
_
What the...?
Man, did Jane yearn to know
what that black ink was hiding.
It was as if her whole life
were leading up to that revelation.
Which brings us to last night,
just after Jane and Michael's
romance-novel-worthy kiss.
Jane was ready. The time was right.
What were they waiting for?
And so they finally had sex.
Lots and lots of sex.
Just kidding.
Geez, why are you all so obsessed
with that anyway?
- Here's what really happened.
- We got to take a break.
- No, let's have sex.
- What?
I mean, I've been
thinking about it, and it was
one thing to be a virgin when
marriage was on the horizon.
But then we weren't together.
And the finish line moved.
- And it seemed so far away!
- Closer now.
- Huh?
- The finish line.
- Because we're getting married.
- Oh...
that's true.
Yeah, and I wouldn't
even be waiting that long.
Well, on the other hand,
what's the point of waiting
if we're gonna get
married anyway, you know?
Well, I mean, I did want to wait.
- Yeah.
- And if it's gonna be soon.
Bro! You just blocked yourself!
In that case, get ready to be proposed
to, because it's gonna happen soon.
Very soon.
And so Jane and Michael
were back together.
And in some ways, it
felt just like old times.
They ate Cubanos.
Jane and Michael? You're back together?!
They sent cute texts to each other.
_
_
_
_
They caught up on Scandal.
Honestly, I'm glad
Olivia's done with Fitz.
Oh, my God, I knew it.
- You kept watching without me. You did!
- No, I, no, I didn't...
- Some of the guys from the office...
- You're a total Gladiator, admit it.
Admit it.
But then again,
some things were different
because there was a baby.
And a baby daddy.
This seems like a good time to
catch up on what Rafael has been up to
these last ten days.
He has, in fact, been having sex.
Lots and lots of sex
with a lot of different women.
The exact number is not important.
But all six encounters
had one thing in common.
Let's talk contraception.
I probably can't have kids,
but we still need two different kinds.
I've got the condoms.
Then either the pill, an IUD, the patch,
the ring, the shot or the sponge.
Yes, Rafael had decided that
instead of no sex and babies,
he would try sex and
no babies for a change.
Sorry I'm late. I keep
missing that turn onto 3rd.
You'll recall Rafael
promised to try with Michael.
Guess I need to give
myself some more time.
Yeah, gets confusing.
So here he is, trying.
Don't worry, it took me a while
to figure out the neighborhood.
And the traffic on the I-95
is the worst, so it's...
In fact, I think it's safe
to say that all three of them
were finding this trying.
So, I'll check in with you later
and just tell you how he's doing.
Great, yeah. Have a
good time with Daddy.
All right. See you two later.
Mm-hmm.
I just, huh...
Did he seem okay to you?
Yeah, yeah, he seemed,
uh, you know, normal.
Like he was trying to be nice.
- Well, let's talk about it.
- No. I'm sorry.
- No, if you're, if you're worried.
- I'm sure he's fine.
In times like these, Jane couldn't
help but imagine what could've been
if she hadn't broken up with Michael
all those months ago.
The Sliding Doors version, as it were.
- Raf! Hey!
- Hey!
- Oh, come on in.
- Hey, come to Daddy.
- Jane, Raf's here.
- Oh, my boy!
- Hi, Daddy.
- Hi, how are you?
Okay, now that I have you two here,
we need to start planning
Mateo's first birthday party.
- Really? Three months early. Come on!
- I mean, that's a little early, Jane.
No way, you two. Don't gang up on me.
- Okay, it wouldn't be like that.
- Maybe not.
But if I hadn't left Michael back then,
things would be so much easier.
And tomorrow would be our
first wedding anniversary.
Really?
- What?
- Dad replied to my text.
_
So immature. Did you
see his latest tweet?
_
_
I'm getting pissed.
I know that I hurt his feelings.
But you don't just detach
yourself from your family.
There's no excuse for that!
How about being held hostage
by your old prison pen pal,
who disguised herself as your assistant?
- Please, let's talk.
- We will.
- Without the shackles!
- How can I trust you?
First you stopped writing to me.
Then La Miseria stopped airing.
I was your biggest fan!
Okay, if there's any hope
of recapturing the magic,
- I can't be shackled.
- What are you talking about?
Cesar the Barefoot Bandito
kept Estela in a love cage
until she finally
developed feelings for him.
_
_
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_
Look, you can't keep me here.
I will be missed.
Tiago starts a two-week break tomorrow.
- My family will notice I'm gone.
- You asked them for some space.
I'll stay in contact with them
for you. Give me your passcode.
No, I will not do it.
No, not the face.
Dear God, not the face.
007! It's 007!
Which brings us here now
to the biggest acting
challenge of Rogelio's career.
Thank you, dear Lola.
It's so hard to believe
I once feared you.
_
In some ways, it was working.
Occasionally, she
removed his arm shackles.
See?
But not in all ways.
Another text from Jane?
"Dad, it's been two weeks.
I know I really hurt you and I'm sorry,
but please stop shutting us out.
When do you get back?"
_
Please, Lola, she needs more than that.
She's missing her father.
I'll think about it.
- Time for night-night.
- Maybe one night without the pill?
I love you, Rogo.
Heard you got a lead
on our missing person.
Yep, Derek's ex-girlfriend
is back in town.
I know what you're thinking.
Who is Derek? Well, Derek is...
Actually, what the hell? Let's
Scandal our way through this.
What? Michael's not the only fan.
Derek Ruvelle, son of Rafael's
mother, Elena Di Nola.
Rafael's half brother.
Is he a good guy or a bad guy?
Here's what we know... rich
kid, dropped out of Pepperdine.
- Classic Trustafarian, he travels.
- Spends his mother's money.
Here's where it gets exciting...
Our buddy Derek disappeared
the day after Mutter's
identity was discovered.
Social media accounts remain silent.
Last known whereabouts place him
in St. Croix traveling with
this woman, Avery Van Allen.
- So find me Avery Van Allen.
- Just landed back in Miami.
She was in Ibiza.
Want me to pick her up?
Νο. Let's see if we can
catch her off-guard.
Before she knows we're looking for her.
No, definitely not. I have no
interest in finding my brother.
I know that. I'm just asking you to
help us make contact, get information.
Sorry, I'm not getting involved.
Well, looks like Rafael's pretty
much killing my investigation.
Oh, wait, I'm sorry.
This is a Rafael-free zone.
- What is, what is all this?
- Well, it's silly, but
today we would've been married one year.
So I thought we might
as well celebrate anyway.
Old-school Jane and Michael style.
- Oh, yeah? Old-school?
- Mmm, hard-core old-school.
Oh, I had the same thought.
- Happy would've-been-our-anniversary.
- Oh...
- Open it, open it, open it.
- Okay!
No way.
- The new Angelique Harper?
- Mm-hmm.
Oh... Thank you, thank you, thank you.
And a hardcover, how decadent!
Υou know me... Living large.
And this is good. I can look
at her without cringing.
Ah, yes, you'll recall
this happened last year.
Even my masseuse has a manuscript.
- Oh, no, no, I'm not...
- You don't want me to read that?
Well, I-I do...
Let's see how the massage
goes first, okay, honey?
I wonder why she never
responded to my chapter.
She liked my massage, trust me.
Lots of moaning.
- Ooh.
- Oh.
_
You all right?
Yeah, fine.
_
Okay, let's eat.
Wait, I thought tonight was
old-school Jane and Michael.
- It is.
- So what would old-school Jane do?
Beg to push dinner for an hour
so that I could start reading.
Fine, one hour.
Oh, man, a new Angelique Harper!
Let's see what it's about.
_
_
_
Huh, that's weird.
_
_
Wait a minute.
- What's going on?
- Angelique Harper stole my idea.
Just listen! "The harrowing
story of a young woman
who bravely goes undercover
as a man during the Revolutionary War
and falls for her mysterious
commanding officer"?
She just changed the war and the names!
Turns out, she's coming
into town for her book tour.
- She is? Perfect.
- Mm-hmm.
I'm gonna confront her,
and I am going to tell her
not only has she
invited a major lawsuit,
but she has lost a very loyal fan.
How similar are they?
Where's your computer?
What's Alba do with your laptop?
Watching this Venezuelan priest
who puts his sermons online.
Pablo? As in Pablo Alonso Segura,
the man Alba lost her virginity to?
Let's translate this.
_
What?
Nothing.
Uh, so how do I prove plagiarism?
_
My girl is "plucky and
stubborn to a fault."
She calls Clementine
"scrappy and bullheaded."
Write everything down, every similarity.
Prohibitive similarities,
that's what we're looking for.
Which is tricky, because there's
coincidence. There's this case
of Dennis the Menace. Two
separate cartoonists...
Shh. I need to get through this.
You know what, I'm gonna
call the DA tomorrow
and ask her legal advice.
Jane.
It'll be okay.
Yeah.
I just loved that idea.
And I was gonna go back to it.
And now I can't.
I can't even... Is she why you've
been late to so many meetings?
No. No! Told you.
Jane and I have been
getting our signals crossed.
You're hungover. Again.
Oh, Petra, honestly, back off.
Not in the mood. I'm tired.
You're tired?
I'm full-term with twins.
Do you have any idea how rare that is?
I'm a medical freakin' marvel.
I'm just blowing off
some steam, I guess,
before I become a father of three.
No, you're not.
No, you're going to that
dark place of yours.
- What?
- Yeah, that place you go to.
In his defense, he had just discovered
his stepmother and his
mother were rival crime lords.
Oh, and Jane dumped him.
- I just have a lot going on.
- Yes, I know.
But all that other stuff,
it's out of your control.
And you're about to
become a father of three.
So enough with the
self-indulgence and grow up.
Yeah.
- No, you're right.
- Really?
Huh, that was easy.
So it's gonna be hard
but not impossible.
The DA says the first
step is establishing
that your material predates Angelique's.
Did you e-mail the chapter
to anyone around then,
so we can, you know,
establish your timeline?
Yeah, um, Rafael.
Okay, so let's search your sent e-mails.
_
- We don't have to do this right now.
- No, it's... it's important.
Okay, so let's search your sent e-mails.
You must have sent it to me, right?
Of course I did, because
you read every single draft
of every single thing I do.
Yep, there's my story.
Team Cordero-Villanueva for the win!
- Look, at least you found the e-mail.
- Okay, shh, shh.
Hi there. Allison?
Yes, it's Olivia, Angelique
Harper's assistant.
We met in the city during the holidays.
Anyway, um, I'm doing some bookkeeping,
and I wanted to know if you
know what fiscal quarter,
uh, Angelique's first draft of
Revolution of the Son came in?
Me? Olivia... Pope... erson.
What? Oh, you know what,
I can't hear you!
Yeah, I think I'm just, like, under
a tunnel, so I'll just call you back!
Okay, you were right.
That was a horrible idea.
- Mom.
- You got to see this.
What?
I was checking my e-mails, I swear.
I didn't mean to see
it, but there's this chat
between Mom and some guy.
Oh, Mom, don't look at those.
- Come on, she was using my computer.
- Too late. Too late.
"My glorious Alba, how I
long to see you, to touch you,
- to kiss you..."
- Okay, enough, Mom.
"like I did in 1972 when we made love"?
Oh, my God.
She had sex.
With a guy who wasn't Dad?
Wait, why aren't you freaking out?
- Did you know?
- Yeah, but she just told me it happened.
She's really embarrassed,
so don't say anything.
- Mom, I'm serious.
- What a hypocrite.
- Let it go.
- Says the girl who just impersonated
Angelique Harper's assistant.
- What?
- Why don't you let that go?
That's different.
_
Oh, uh, nothing.
We were actually just, um...
discussing one of Angelique's
passages from her book.
And the fact that you had sex
before you were married!
- Seriously?!
- You told her?
No. No, she read the
messages from Pablo.
You lied to me this whole time?
_
_
_
Oh, my God, are you serious?
You're such a hypocrite.
_
_
_
_
I did not sleep around, Ma!
Do not make me feel like a slut!
_
You are! Like you always have!
And I am not!
I am just a normal woman
who enjoys having sex.
And you have made me feel like
crap about it my entire life!
And that's why I'm so pissed.
_
_
She's right, Abuela.
I'm gonna go make sure that she's okay.
Hey.
You okay?
Yeah, I just...
I don't know.
It just came out.
You don't have to explain.
- Your dad's tweeting again.
- Really?
_
_
Talk about a staycation.
Okay, last photo,
and you'll tweet that you're so sad
that the trip is nearly over.
Perfection.
Well, that's easy.
I am sad. Because this
time has been so special.
That's one way to put it.
And now we must return to reality,
as the couple we are.
- If you return.
- Hmm?
We're at the part of the
story that I love so much.
_
_
_
_
And that's how I feel.
I love you.
- But, see, I don't believe you.
- What?
It doesn't feel the same,
like you love me like that.
- But I do.
- Don't lie to me!
Okay, fine, you're right.
We're not at the part of the
story where I'm in love yet.
We're in the part of
the story where Estela
realizes there's something
holding her back.
_
You have alienated me from Jane.
She still thinks I'm angry with her.
And you won't let me
put her mind at ease.
Bravo, Rogelio! Daniel
Day-Lewis would be proud!
Look...
Look, I understand family.
I miss my mother every day.
Sometimes I wish I hadn't killed her.
As a gesture, to improve our
relationship, let's reply.
- Good.
- I'll type!
What do you want to say?
"Dear Jane.
I'm sorry I haven't reached out.
It's just that I'm having
a wonderful vacation...
and service has been spotty.
But you don't have to apologize.
It's fine.
I love you.
And tell your mom, 'besos.'"
Hmm. Something tells me a besos
is not just a besos, in this case.
And then I usually add four
happy-face-heart-eye emojis.
"Besos"? What the hell is
that supposed to mean?
What do you mean?
It's a sweet message finally.
- It's not sweet at all.
- Why?
Yes, why? What is it, Xo?
He used to end his texts to me with
"besos" until I made him stop.
You respond to your
creepy Twitter stalkers
and tell them, "Besos"?
Each and every fan is a gift, Xiomara.
Yeah, but you say the same thing to me.
I don't want to be lumped in
with thousands of other stalker fans.
Millions.
And you're right, I will never
text "besos" to you again.
You're too special to me.
And now he texts it to me?
What am I supposed to think?
"Besos" equals "creepy stalker."
He's obviously being passive-aggressive.
I'm not special anymore.
No, that's not it!
Anyway, I should just
stop obsessing about this.
I should just let it go, right?
No! Don't let it go!
Probably
But I am gonna write him back, okay?
You should. Absolutely.
_
"I really do feel
terrible that I didn't come
to the Tiago premiere.
I should have been there,
but you have to know how
important you are to me,
and I miss you and love you,
and as soon as you
come back from vacation,
I want to see you."
- You're lucky to have her.
- I really am.
And I look forward to you two
getting to know each other better.
All right, let's give
you your sleeping pill.
I'm telling you, he was out of it.
Like, a sloppy drunk mess.
At first I wasn't sure it
was Rafael, but it was him.
You positive about that?
Talk or you're fired.
It takes four texts and three
phone calls for you to pick up?
I was almost asleep.
You almost woke up Mateo.
Well, this is important.
Something's up with Rafael.
- Petra, that's not my responsibility.
- Are you kidding me?
This is Mateo's father.
- I know.
- And I'm worried.
He's been neglecting work lately,
and he's been drinking a lot.
Our server saw him wasted
at the Fontainebleau today.
He told me he was with Mateo. Was he?
- No.
- I tried to talk to him,
but I guess I didn't get through. And...
he listens to you. Please?
Jane.
You okay?
I'll call you back, okay?
- But I...
- I'll call you back.
What's wrong?
That was Petra.
She's worried about Rafael.
He's been off lately and was totally
wasted today at the Fontainebleau.
Look, I'm sorry to bring him up, it's...
it's just, I'm... I'm worried, too.
It...
- it's not what you think it is.
- What?
Rafael was there today because
he's working with the police.
Let me fill you in. Remember this?
- I just have a lot going on.
- Yes, I know.
But all that other stuff,
it's out of your control.
Rafael realized it wasn't in
fact all out of his control.
There was one thing he could do.
I want to help you find my mother.
- You guys are working together.
- Yes, but...
look, that's obviously privileged.
I didn't want you to
go chasing after him.
I wasn't gonna go chasing after him.
Didn't mean it like that.
I know.
Or maybe I did.
I'm sorry.
I'm... I'm just trying to be honest.
Seeing those e-mails between you two,
it really bothered me.
- I know.
- You were in love with him.
And I knew that.
But seeing them...
I don't know.
- It brought me back to that night.
- I can't be with you.
I'm so sorry, Michael.
I keep telling myself
it won't happen again,
but... you know.
Trust me, I wish I could go
back and make a different choice.
And you don't have, like,
a boat sale coming up?
No. Got it.
Okay, let's pull the trigger.
Thank you. Whew.
- $400 for a boat rental?
- It's worth it.
Michael keeps going back to that
moment, so I want to redo it.
Make a new memory for us.
The way it should have happened.
Petra?
Look, I need your help. Don't worry,
it's not about Rafael. Well,
it is, but only peripherally.
- He just canceled on me.
- Hi, Petra.
Oh. Hello Xiomara.
- Cute shorts.
- Thank you. Your hair is nice.
Thank you.
Anyway, Rafael...
was supposed to take me
to my birthing class... A class
he insisted on signing me up for.
I don't want to go alone and sit there
with all those smug
judgy moms staring at me.
Okay, so... are you here to
ask me if I'll go with you?
Would you? I don't want to go alone.
Can you watch Mateo?
Okay, let's do it.
- You sure you don't want me to drive?
- Nope. Have to keep control of the car.
'Cause we're not going to birthing
class, we're going to confront Rafael.
- What?
- Sorry, I had to get you into the car.
I tracked him down using
Find My Phone. He's at The W.
Yeah, probably meeting, like,
a work contact for happy hour.
Or a person of interest
for the police for happy hour.
Oh, my God! Stop being so naive, Jane!
This is serious! Look, he listens to you,
so we're going to confront him together.
Do something, Jane! Or Petra's
gonna blow this investigation wide open!
Freeze! Don't move.
Wow, that generic
drugstore tan-in-a-box
isn't doing you any favors, buddy.
Bless you, Lola... I feel
so much better now.
You're so thoughtful.
Tell me, when we emerge as a couple,
do you prefer... Rola...
or Logelio?
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Let's think about it tonight.
After a special dinner.
Sure.
And it's special... why, exactly?
Because there's a full moon.
Don't you remember? Cesar and Estela
ate dinner and then
they finally made love...
in the light of the full moon.
What?! Rafael's working with the police?
Well, you could've told
me this an hour ago.
Have you got any idea how hard
it is to drive this pregnant?
Seriously? You practically kidnapped me!
Whatever. Let's go.
Join me in welcoming best-selling
romance novelist Angelique Harper.
- Ugh!
- What? I thought you loved her.
Didn't... Rafael, like,
propose or something during a reading?
Yeah. But after,
well...
I went to her room with my chapter,
she mistook me for a masseuse,
I gave her a 90-minute massage,
and then I gave her my chapter,
and then she stole my idea.
- You gave her a massage?
- Did you not hear me? She stole my idea.
She did.
It's always so interesting to
hear what inspires an artist.
How did Revolution
of the Son come about?
You know, it's funny.
I was getting a massage,
and I was... so relaxed,
the idea just sprang
from my head fully formed.
Not unlike Athena,
from the head of Zeus.
- Oh, my God, she stole your idea!
- I told you!
- I'm just trying to let it go.
- Let it go? What is wrong with you?
No, we can't let her get away with this.
Where's that book signing?
We're gonna get her to admit it.
You want to help me?
Okay, don't make it
into a thing, all right?
I'm overdue with twins and
looking to yell at someone.
- This could take hours.
- All right.
Excuse me, pardon me. Hi.
I'm sorry, I'm pregnant.
Do you mind if I just
kind of squeeze through?
I really appreciate it. Excuse
me, pardon me. Could I...
- No.
- Oh.
Yeah, never mind. We'll wait.
You need some prep time, anyway.
So, what are you gonna say to Angelique?
Trust me, I've been rehearsing this.
I'm gonna say, "Do you remember me?
You stole my idea.
I left a chapter with you."
And I threw it away... I don't
accept unsolicited materials.
- What are you doing?
- Toughening you up.
- I'm sure any similarity was coincidental.
- Coincidental? It's the same idea.
- Security, take her away.
- Okay, enough. You made your point.
What do you suggest I say?
I have a confession.
_
A confession?
So early in the day?
Well, it must be the tequila.
_
It wasn't totally random...
our meeting.
I'm trying to find my brother.
- His name's Derek.
- What?
Hold on. Wait, wait. Look,
I just need to talk to him, okay?
- He's my brother.
- Stay away from me. All of you.
Hi, Angelique. I'm here
because the plot of your book
was stolen from a
chapter that I gave you,
and I've had a committee
of independent authors
review the works side by side,
and my legal team seems to think
I have a pretty strong case.
So I'm here to tell you
- that a formal complaint is forthcoming.
- All right. Better.
- Yeah, right?
- Yeah. But you need
to drop your voice another octave.
And never lose eye contact.
Calm. Quiet.
It's always much scarier.
It really is.
- Got it. On it.
- Good.
You're welcome.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh!
Sorry. I feel like I'm peeing my pants.
- The babies must be right on my bladder.
- Really?
Are you sure that your
water just didn't break?
What? I don't know. You're
the one who had a baby.
My water didn't break.
It's-it's rare, actually.
That's true. My sister's did.
It's not a big splash
like they show on TV.
- Does it feel like you're peeing?
- Yep. Just feels like you're peeing.
- Oh, my God, I feel like I'm peeing!
- Okay, all right, stay calm.
- We're gonna go to the hospital.
- You're up, miss.
Go. I'm calling an Uber.
I'd be lying if I said Jane
didn't briefly consider it.
No, no, come on, come on.
Step aside, people, she's having a baby!
Two babies!
Oh, boy! Looks like
we're doing this again!
Where is he?
Michael's getting him,
Rafael's gonna be here.
No, not Rafael, the doctor with
the drugs, I need the drugs.
Oh, good. Uh, she is
ready for her epidural.
So, here's the thing.
You can't have one, Petra.
Your blood tests indicate
that your platelet levels
are too low, it's too risky,
you could bleed too much.
- Any wiggle room there?
- Excuse me?
Look, if there's a
50% chance I won't die,
- I'd like to go for it.
- She's kidding.
- No, I'm not kidding.
- Petra, you can do this. She can do this.
Hurry!
Multi-car accident up ahead,
fire, the works.
The highway's down to one lane.
Yeah.
_
_
Oh, no, it's coming back.
Oh, oh, oh, oh... oh...
Okay, breathe. Breathe...
Oh, shut up, that's not working!
Is it me or is labor
making Petra meaner?
- Don't clench, you gotta let go.
- Distract me!
- Um, okay...
- Quick!
Uh, uh, uh...
Michael and I are having issues.
Did you ever see that
movie Sliding Doors?
- Hated it.
- Anyway, I just keep thinking
about how I screwed things up and how
I wish I could just take it back.
- That's so stupid.
- What?
Well, clearly things weren't that great,
or you wouldn't have broken up.
Let the past go...
Says the woman who artificially
inseminated herself with her ex's sperm.
Trust me, I'm regretting that now.
Also full of regrets?
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Thanks, Ma.
Here's how you can make it up to me.
You can tell me about Pablo.
I'm serious.
I want details.
What did he look like?
_
_
Huh?
"Sexy, strong, like the man
she knew all those years ago,
out on the battlefield."
Keep reading! Oh. "She-she
couldn't be sure it was
him, but it was. They spoke.
"Oh!" her father said.
The pain was unbearable.
It was the kind of pain
that tore through her."
Breathe, Petra, breathe.
"It was him. He looked at her and her
breath caught, just like always..."
And a funny thing happened
as she read from her novel:
Jane realized her book and Angelique's
weren't actually that similar.
Well, except for the
cross-dressing premise,
but, really, Jane had ripped
that off of Twelfth Night.
And Shakespeare had based his
on some Italian play and...
What's wrong with you? Keep reading!
"Mauricio's skin was
glistening a little. Sweaty."
Looks like you finished dinner.
Do they really make love right after?
Because I get a little
bloaty after dinner.
To true love.
And all the different ways it grabs you.
Okay.
Get ready.
Are you all right?
- Just got a little tired.
- Let's cuddle up then. Here, lay down.
- Okay.
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- Just for a minute.
- All right.
Okay, so here's what happened.
Remember this?
Let's give you your sleeping pill.
Rogelio considers his oily
T-zone to be his one facial flaw.
And so he had the costumer of Tiago
sew a special pocket in his
underwear where he could stash
a secret supply of pressed powder.
A little powder panty pocket.
And he stored the pill in there.
And from there, he
slipped it into her drink.
Hurry, Rogelio. Just find the
keys and get out of there!
Okay, here we go.
I'm gonna need you to push.
- Where's Rafael?
- Uh, he's hurrying.
- I'm not gonna make it, am I?
- I don't think so.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
- Come on, Petra, push.
- I can't. I can't anymore.
And so Jane said the words her
grandmother said to her mother
and her mother said to her...
Five minutes of pain for
a lifetime of happiness.
_
_
It's time, Petra. Push again.
- No, I'm done. I can't.
- I'm gonna need you to push.
- No, I can't.
- Are you serious?
After all that talk in the line at
the bookstore about being tough?
Suck it up
and push those babies out.
Here she is. A little girl.
She's beautiful.
- Oh, okay.
- Yes.
Okay. Ready to go again.
- Huh?
- Yeah.
Come on.
- Is it over?
- It's over.
You did it.
You did it.
I'm sorry I called you
all those horrible names.
- You didn't.
- Oh, I did. Trust me.
It was just in Czech.
Thank you, though.
Of course.
Hey, do you want to know their names?
Rafael and I already decided.
Elsa.
- And Anna.
- Wait...
- What?
- Elsa and Anna?
Like in Frozen?
- What do you mean?
- That's the names of the sisters.
In Frozen.
- The movie?
- Oh.
Well, no one except for
you would think of that.
Let it go, Jane.
Nice names.
- Just beautiful.
- Oh, I missed it.
I can't believe I
missed it. How are you?
- I'm okay.
- She was a warrior.
Here.
- That's Elsa.
- Oh.
Hi. Hi, Elsa.
Hi, Anna.
Oh, wow. They're beautiful.
They are, right? It's not just me?
No, they're perfect.
They're so perfect.
Oh, yeah!
I'm starving. Salt
and vinegar. You rock.
Wow. Easy to please.
And to think, I rented a boat.
I wanted to go back and redo the
moment when things went wrong,
- when I made the wrong choice. Oh,
- I shouldn't have brought that up.
No. No, it's okay. Because, um,
I realized...
I don't want to go back.
I mean, there was a lot of
stuff wrong in our relationship.
I mean, you weren't being
honest about who you were.
I wasn't being nest about
what I wanted in life.
And that's why we broke up.
Are you breaking up with me now?
Never. No.
I'm just saying I don't want to go back.
Because we're better now.
- Yeah.
- And I want you to know
that you are absolutely who I want.
And I'm not going anywhere.
I'm not either.
Oh.
I wasn’t gonna do
this here, but, Jane...
- Yes! Yes! Okay!
- Wait, wait. Can I ask?
- Okay, get ready. Jane, will you...
- Yes. Sorry. Yes.
- Sorry, sorry, sorry!
- Will you... will you marry me?
- Will you marry me?
- Yes! Yes!
Ah, true love.
The kind Angelique
Harper might write about.
Were this a romance novel.
_
But, of course, it's not.
I thought you'd be excited.
_
Yep. And he's coming.
Xiomara.
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Ocean view, perfect.
And how long will you be staying for?
Not sure.
I knew it. You were lying to me.
Please, Lola. Don't make me do
it. Please stop or I'll shoot!
You would've shot me?
No.
I knew it was a fake.
_