In Living Color (1990–1994): Season 5, Episode 7 - Circus of Black Stars - full transcript
[Baby Fussing]
[Audience Cheering]
[Cheering Continues] OH, HI.
OKAY, OKAY! [Cheering Stops]
HEY, LITTLE WANDA. I'LL
CHANGE YOU IN A MINUTE.
FIRST I GOTTA GET OVER
HERE AND GET MY BREAST PUMP.
WOO-HOO! THIS IS THE
FAVORITE PART OF THE DAY.
MY FAVORITE PART OF THE
DAY. THIS IS LIKE "NIPO-SUCTION."
[Baby Crying] OH. OH, HUSH. OOH.
DON'T CRY. UH-UH. NO, NO.
YOU NEED TO GET CHANGED.
I KNOW WHAT'S WRONG.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT
IT. I'LL CHANGE YOU.
JUST HOLD ON A MINUTE.
JUST GIVE ME A SECOND.
OKAY. OH-OH!
I GUESS I SHOULDN'T HAVE GAVE
YOU ALL THAT RASPBERRY SNAPPLE.
OOH. OKAY. SHH. OOH.
YOU SO CUTE. HOW
YOU GET SO PRETTY?
YOU LOOK JUST LIKE YOUR MAMA.
[Crying] OH, OKAY.
UH-HUH. NO CRYIN' NOW.
♪ HUSH LITTLE BABY
DON'T YOU CRY ♪
♪ MAMA'S GOTTA GET HER
SOME GOOD SHUT-EYE ♪
♪ AND WHEN SHE FIND YOUR
DADDY YOU KNOW WHAT I'M A DO ♪
♪ IT'S GONNA BE GOOD LOVIN',
BODY ROCKIN' ALL NIGHT LONG ♪
[Screaming] HEY. FOR
REAL. OH. OH. OKAY. OH-OH.
OH. YOU MUST HAVE A GAS
BUBBLE OR SOME... [Belches]
OOH, IT SMELL LIKE THAT HOG HEAD
CHEESE I HAD EARLIER THIS MORNING.
OKAY, I'M GONNA
LAY YOU DOWN NOW...
'CAUSE MAMA GOTTA WRITE
IN HER DIARY AND STUFF, OKAY?
SO HUSH AND BE
QUIET. STAY TIGHT.
DON'T LET THE BEDBUGS GET
ALL UP IN YOUR STUFF, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT. OOH.
"DEAR... DEAR DIARY,
"I AM STILL LOOKIN' FOR WANDA'S
MAN. I HAVE SOME TYPE OF CLUE.
"I KNOW HE LIGHT 'SKINNED-ED.'
I KNOW HE GOT GREEN EYES...
"AND HE USED TO
POP-LOCK AND STUFF,
"AND HE DROVE A CAMARO.
"BUT I'M STILL KINDA SHADY ON
WHAT HE ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE.
"I WENT TO THE POLICE STATION...
"I WENT...
"AND I SAID, 'I'M
LOOKIN' FOR MY MAN.'
THEY SAID, 'WELL, DO YOU
WANT US TO SUBPOENA... '"
SUP... S...
"'DO YOU WANT US TO FIND HIM?'
"AND I SAID, 'YES, I DO, BECAUSE THAT'S THE
WAY I GOT LIKE THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE.'
SO ANYWAY, DEAR DIARY, I'LL
JUST KEEP ON WITH MY SEARCH."
GOOD NIGHT, LITTLE WANDA.
[Baby Belches]
- [Laughing]
- ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
- ♪ TAKE IT FROM ME
IT'S A'IGHT TO BE ♪
- HI-YAH!
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ AND HOW WOULD YA... HOW
WOULD YA... HOW WOULD YA F... ♪
♪ HOW WOULD YOU FEEL KNOWING
PREJUDICE WAS OBSOLETE ♪
♪ AND ALL MANKIND
DANCED TO THE EXACT BEAT ♪
[Echoing] ♪ AND AT NIGHT IT WAS
SAFE TO WALK DOWN THE STREET ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
[Turntable Scratching]
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
[Laughing]
[Male Announcer] COMING THIS FALL TO FOX,
THE ALL NEW CIRCUS OF THE BLACK STARS.
YOU'LL SEE DARING ACROBATS
GARRETT MORRIS AND NELL CARTER.
HOLD STILL. I'M
GETTIN' READY TO JUMP.
AT LEAST LET ME
PUT A PARACHUTE ON.
SHUT UP! WE GONNA
DO THIS ON THREE.
THREE!
I'M COMIN', JESUS!
[Announcer] YOU'LL SEE
SINBAD THE LION TAMER.
MAN, LOOK AT THAT LION!
MAN, THAT'S A BIG OLD
LION, MAN. [Whip Cracks]
LION BE SITTIN' THERE LOOKIN'
AT ME, TALKIN' 'BOUT... [Snarling]
"HEY, SINBAD. I AIN'T LYIN'."
AND I'M NOT! MAN, THE LAST
TIME I SAW A LION WAS AT THE ZOO.
[Growling] [Whip Cracks]
GET BACK. I MEAN IT, MAN.
[Announcer] YOU'LL THRILL AND
GASP AS YOU WATCH THE STARS...
PERFORM THE ANCIENT
ART OF KNIFE THROWING.
HI, I'M SHARI BELAFONTE. YOU PEOPLE
THERE WOULD BE LESS OF A TARGET...
IF YOU GOT HOOKED
ON SLIM-FAST LIKE ME.
LOOK AT ME. DIG THIS. I'VE GOT A
GOOD FIGURE, A FAMOUS FATHER...
HOW COME I'M NOT WORKING MORE?
YOU HAVE TO TALK A
LITTLE LOUDER, SHARI.
I HAVE TO THROW THE
KNIVES AT YOUR VOICE.
[Announcer] AND THRILL AS JACKÉE IS
TURNED INTO A HUMAN CANNONBALL.
OOH! I HOPE THIS
DON'T MESS UP MY NAILS.
HEY, TALL, DARK AND HANDSOME.
WHY DON'T YOU POINT THIS HERE CANNON
IN THE DIRECTION OF YOUR APARTMENT...
AND I CAN MEET YOU THERE
AFTER THE SHOW? OOH!
[Screaming, Grunts]
OOH, LOOK. IT'S RAININ'
MEN. OOH! [Giggles]
[Announcer] SO DON'T MISS THE
CIRCUS OF THE BLACK STARS.
[Jackée Screaming]
COMING FROM FOX.
♪♪ [Funk]
♪♪ [Ends]
MISS. MISS. MISS.
HOW DID YOU FEEL WHEN YOU WON THE
FANTASY DATE WITH MAGNIFICO HIMSELF?
OH, I JUST COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. I
MEAN, HE'S SO GORGEOUS. [Giggles]
HE CERTAINLY IS.
[Makes Sizzling Sound]
NOW WHY DON'T WE SHOW
JULIE TO HER TABLE, HUH?
OKAY. JULIE!
OH. WHAT THE HELL
IS KEEPING HIM?
WELL, EVER SINCE COSMO
NAMED HIM THE SEXIEST
MAN, HE'S BEEN
ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE.
YOU KNOW, I HAVEN'T EVEN LAID EYES
ON HIM SINCE HE LEFT FOR EUROPE.
THAT WAS SIX MONTHS AGO.
YEAH. [Motorcycle Approaching]
[Motorcycle Engine
Stops] AH-HA! I AM HERE!
YEAH. LINDA! [Groans]
SO FANTASTIC IT IS TO FEAST MY
LOOKS UPON YOUR SEXUAL APPEARANCE.
MAGNIFICO HAS ARRIVED. MY GOD. WHAT
THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO YOURSELF?
NOTHING, THANK
YOU. AND YOURSELF?
AHA! MY PRESS. THEY HUNGER
FOR ME. OUT OF THE WAY!
[Chattering]
YO, MAN. EXCUSE
ME. I GOT IT. I GOT IT.
MAGNIFICO. WOULD YOU CARE
TO COMMENT ON YOUR NEW LOOK?
[Cackles] WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WHAT
DO YOU SPEAK OF, THIS NEW LOOK?
OKAY. WELL, SOME
PEOPLE MIGHT SAY...
THAT YOU REALLY, REALLY, REALLY...
DAMN! REALLY LET YOURSELF GO.
HA-HA! WELL, I MAY HAVE PUT
ON A POUND OR TWO. SO WHAT?
IT IS NO MATTER. THE CAMERA
LOVES ME. I AM... MAGNIFICO.
IS IT TRUE THAT YOU'VE BEEN LINKED WITH
RECENT CATTLE DISAPPEARANCES IN OKLAHOMA?
WELL, I, UH... I FORGET,
BUT IT IS NO MATTER.
I AM SEXIEST, MOST BELOVED
MAN IN WORLD! I AM... MAGNIFICO.
NOW, WHERE IS SHE, THE
LUCKIEST LADY IN THE WORLD?
AHA! HERE SHE IS.
TAKE A WALK, GOOFY.
MY LITTLE FURRY ONE, ARE YOU
READY TO RIDE THE WILD WIND...
ON THE BACK OF A PONY
NAMED "LOVE," HUH?
WHO ARE YOU?
YOU, UH... YOU ARE INTIMIDATED
BY MY STUNNING GOOD LOOKS, YES?
DO NOT BE ASHAMED
BY YOUR PLAINNESS.
TO MAGNIFICO, IT IS, UH, A WOMAN'S
INSIDES WHO ARE MOST BEAUTIFUL.
[Belches] [Coughing]
NOW, WHO DO I HAVE TO MAKE
LONG, PASSIONATE LOVE TO...
TO GET A BEER AROUND HERE, HUH?
MAGNIFICO, FIRST WE NEED TO TAKE
SOME PUBLICITY SHOTS. ALL RIGHT. OKAY.
COME ON. GET UP! [Screams] NO!
YES. I WILL, UH... I WILL
NOW STRIP DOWNWARDS...
TO MY FLIMSY, VELVET
JOCKSTRAP UNDERWEARS.
PREPARE TO BE
TANTALIZED. [Screams] NO!
NO, NO, NO. THAT WON'T
BE NECESSARY. ALL RIGHT.
NOW IS... IS THERE ANY WAY
TO MAKE HIM LOOK GOOD?
UM... NO. OH. OKAY.
MY DEAR, REFRESH MY BRAIN. WHAT
WAS YOUR MAGNIFICO FANTASY DATE?
OH, JUST TO MEET YOU
AND THEN QUICKLY LEAVE.
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. IT WAS SO
MUCH MORE. NOW I AM REMEMBERING.
YOU WANTED ME TO LOWER
MYSELF DOWN UPON YOUR LIPS,
SLOWLY BUT SURELY
GRINDING MYSELF... NO! NO!
[Screaming]
[Screaming Continues]
YES, YES. THIS IS A NIGHT THEY
WILL NEVER BE FORGETTING. HA-HA!
BECAUSE THE CAMERA LOVES ME. I
AM... MAGNIFICO! [Camera Shutter Clicks]
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...
UH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
AS YOU ALL KNOW, MAGNIFICO'S
NEW CD, HUNGRY FOR YOU,
HIT RECORD STORES THIS WEEK.
YES, AND TONIGHT, HE'S
GOING TO BE SINGING...
HIS NEW HIT SINGLE,
"THE WAY I LOOK TONIGHT."
MAGNIFICO!
♪♪ [Slow Rock] THANK YOU,
LINDA. YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL.
♪ OH, GIRL, I... ♪♪
I, UH... I, UH...
♪ OH GIRL YOU LOVE ME ♪
♪ AND WHO CAN BLAME YOU
THE WAY I LOOK TONIGHT ♪
♪ THE REFLECTION OF ME IN
YOUR BEAUTIFUL BLUE EYES ♪
♪ OH, WHAT A LOVELY SIGHT ♪
♪ YOU LIE BESIDE ME, BATHED ♪
♪ BATHED IN MY
GLISTENING SWEAT ♪
♪ YOU HAVE NEVER HAD
A LOVER SO TENDER ♪
♪ SO STRONG I'M THE
GREATEST ONE YET ♪♪
OH, EXCUSE ME.
I'VE TO GET THIS...
♪ LISTEN, YOU'VE NEVER
HAD A LOVER SO STRONG ♪
♪ AND TONIGHT, THE TIME THERE
IS STILL TIME FOR YOU AND I ♪
♪ YOU ARE SO SWEET, LIKE
LIKE CHOCOLATE THINGS ♪
♪ YOU ARE SWEETER
THAN CHOCOLATE ♪
♪ I WANT YOU I WANT TO
LICK YOUR CREAM FILLING ♪
♪ I WANT TO BATHE MYSELF
IN YOUR CHOCOLATES ♪♪
COME BACK HERE. I
LOVE YOU. YOU CAN'T GO.
I WILL CRUSH YOU. NO, COME
HERE. MAGNIFICO. COME BACK HERE!
[Shouting, Indistinct]
[Turntable Scratching]
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
- [Man] CHECK THIS OUT.
- [Woman] ♪ YEAH ♪
♪ YE... YE... YE... YE...
YE... YE... YE... YE... YEAH ♪
- [Turntable Scratching] - ♪
YE... YE... YE... YE... YEAH ♪
♪ YEAH YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH
YE... YE... YE... YEAH ♪♪
THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
AND NOW FOR MY NEXT TRICK.
I WILL CLOSE THE
CURTAIN ON THIS CHAMBER,
AND WHEN I OPEN IT AGAIN, MY LOVELY
ASSISTANT, RHONDA, WILL HAVE DISAPPEARED.
[Drumroll]
[Drum Fill, Cymbal Crash]
HI HOWDY, FOLKS. WHO ARE YOU?
I'M FIRE MARSHAL BILL BURNS,
AND THIS MAGIC SHOW, WHILE
ENTERTAINING TO YOUNG AND OLD ALIKE,
COULD BE A HAZARD
TO LIFE AND LIMB!
SOME BROAD NEARLY KNOCKED ME DOWN
GOIN' THROUGH THAT SECRET PASSAGEWAY.
SIR, I ASSURE YOU. WHAT I PERFORM
IS MAGIC. IT IS COMPLETELY SAFE.
THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID
ABOUT THE WORLD TRADE
CENTER, SON. BUT ME
AND MY FRIEND ABDUL...
AND A COUPLE OF POUNDS OF PLASTIQUE
EXPLOSIVE SHOWED 'EM DIFFERENT.
[Cackles]
LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
SAY YOU'RE ABOUT TO WOW THE
AUDIENCE WITH A LITTLE SLEIGHT OF HAND.
[Drumroll] YOU GO TO TAP YOUR
WRIST WITH THE MAGIC WAND,
WHEN SOMEBODY YELLS OUT, "LOOK! SIEGFRIED
AND ROY JUST MADE A SALAMI DISAPPEAR."
IN ALL THE EXCITEMENT, YOU PICK
UP YOUR MAGIC MACHETE INSTEAD.
AND BEFORE YOU KNOW
IT... PRESTO HACKO.
[Blade Hits Flesh]
[Drumroll, Cymbal Crash]
YOU'RE CHANGIN' YOUR
NAME TO DAVID CHOPPERFIELD.
LOOK, FOLKS. NOTHIN'
UP MY SLEEVE. [Cackles]
ISN'T THAT A WONDERFUL TRICK, FOLKS?
HUH? THANK YOU FOR STOPPING BY, SIR.
NOW, IF I MAY DIRECT
YOUR ATTENTION,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
TO THE LOVELY BIRDCAGE.
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE,
MAGIC JOHNSON!
THAT LITTLE AVIARY IS AN
ACCIDENT WAITIN' TO HAPPEN.
SAY YOU GO TO COVER THESE BIRDS
WITH ONE OF YOUR MYSTICAL SNOT RAGS.
WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW IS, PYRO,
THE MENTALLY DEFICIENT FIRE-EATER,
HAS SWITCHED IT WITH
A GASOLINE SOAKED RAG.
LIKE SO.
MEANWHILE, YOU'RE
SO CONFIDENT...
AND SO SUREFIRE COCKY ABOUT
YOUR LITTLE DISAPPEARING BIRD TRICK...
THAT YOU DECIDE TO BRUSH UP ON
YOUR ARC WELDING AT THE SAME TIME.
THAT'S WHAT IT'S
ALL ABOUT! [Cackles]
OH! MY BIRDS! MY
BIRDS! PUT THAT OUT!
IT'S SO... BEAUTIFUL!
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!
THIS IS MAGIC. IT'S
NOT DANGEROUS.
THE HAND IS QUICKER
THAN THE EYE.
WELL, I'D LIKE TO
TEST THAT THEORY.
- [Screaming, Cackling]
- [Pops]
LOOKS LIKE A PHOTO FINISH TO ME.
SIR, SIR, GET OFF THIS STAGE.
YOU'RE RUINING THE WHOLE SHOW!
SON, NOT SO FAST. YOU DON'T
WANNA MISS MY GRAND FINALE.
I BROUGHT A LITTLE ILLUSION
OF MY OWN. ♪♪ [Vocalizing]
♪♪ [Continues]
♪♪ [Stops]
OH, MANDRAKE, WOULD YOU BE
SO KIND AS TO PLACE THE TOP BOX...
ON THE TABLE OVER THERE?
[Muttering]
WELCOME TO THE
WORLD OF ILLUSION!
THAT'S INCREDIBLE.
HOW DID YOU DO THAT?
EASY. LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING!
[Chain Saw Buzzing]
OH, MY GOD! LOOK
OUT, EVERYBODY! RUN!
[Cackling] GET OUT!
OH, MY GOD! HE'S
GOIN' FOR THE GAS MAIN!
DON'T WORRY, FOLKS.
THAT'S THE HEADLESS CHAINSAW-WIELDING
TORSO OF A FIRE MARSHAL.
[Siren Wailing] I'M
RUINED IN THE BUSINESS.
[Sniffles]
I JUST GOT A JOB
WORKIN' WITH GALLAGHER.
[Cackling]
IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHAT'S NEXT,
STRAIGHT FROM ELEKTRA
RECORDS TO SING THEIR HOT SINGLE,
PLEASE PUT YOUR
HANDS TOGETHER FOR...
LEADERS OF THE NEW SCHOOL!
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
[All] ♪ L-O-N-S Y'ALL
L-O-N-S Y'ALL ♪
♪ L-O-N-S Y'ALL L-O-N-S Y'ALL ♪
♪ L-O-N-S Y'ALL L-O-N-S Y'ALL ♪
♪ YO, YO I CAN FEEL Y'ALL ♪
♪ L-O-N-S Y'ALL L-O-N-S
Y'ALL L-O-N-S Y'ALL ♪
♪ SAY HOO-AH NOW HERE WE GO ♪
♪ YO, BUSTA KICK IT ♪
♪ SKIP TO MY LOU ♪
♪ YES ♪
♪ GOT A FUNKY HOPSCOTCH GAME
GOIN' ON ♪ ♪ GETTIN' STRONG ♪
♪ I THINK YOU BETTER FOLLOW
THIS AND COME ALONG ♪
♪ HEAVENS TO MURGATROID WE'VE
COME UP WITH ANOTHER NEW SONG ♪
♪ SING ALONG ♪
♪ TICK-A-TICK-A-TOCK ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT ♪
♪ COMIN' AROUND THE BLOCK ♪
♪ LEADERS OF THE NEW ♪ ♪ WITH
THE SH... THAT IS SURE TO HIT THE SPOT ♪
♪ OOH AAH YES COME
IN MY DRAGON'S LAIR ♪
♪ THAT'S WHEN I TURN SLAYER
BETTER SAY YOUR PRAYER ♪
♪ OPEN YOUR EYES ♪
♪ RISE, YES I COME TO ♪
♪ STERILIZE ♪ ♪ MR. PARASITE
I GOT YOUR BIG SURPRISE ♪
♪ MAD EFFECTIVE AS YOU VISION
MY PERSPECTIVE ♪ ♪ HOT SHOT ♪
♪ LOOK AT WHAT YOU GOT A SUPER
ACHE INFECTED ♪ ♪ SPEED KNOT ♪
♪ DOUBLE-TEAM STUNNING EVERY
TIME I SEE THE FRAUD COMING ♪
♪ TIME TO BACK THE TOOLS
AND START ♪ ♪ RUNNING ♪
♪ LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHIN' YOU
AIN'T SAYING NOTHIN' WITH YOUR FUSSIN' ♪
♪ NOW YOU GOT ME CUSSIN'
BAKE YOU LIKE A MUFFIN ♪
♪ FULL OF STUFFIN' ♪
♪ FOR THE WORLD TO SEE ♪
♪ LEADERS OF THE NEW IS IN
THE PLACE TO BE FOR '93, "G" ♪
♪ WHAT'S NEXT ♪ ♪ WE COME
FRESH NO DUTTY BOY CAN TEST ♪
- ♪ WHAT'S NEXT ♪
- ♪ YOU KNOW WE WICKED
AND WE FULL UP OF FINESSE ♪
- ♪ WHAT'S NEXT ♪
- ♪ CAUSE WHEN WE DO A DANCE
WE HAVE TO IMPRESS ♪
- ♪ WHAT'S NEXT ♪
- ♪ FOR MY BROTHER C. BOOGIE
BROWN TO COME DOWN ♪
♪ BROWN ♪ ♪ OH, OH
BROWN, BROWN, BROWN ♪
♪ YO, YO, YOU KNOW I LOVE THE WAY
IT'S GOIN' DOWN ♪ ♪ GOIN' DOWN ♪
♪ YOU KNOW I LOVE THEY WAY
IT'S GOIN' DOWN ♪ ♪ GOIN' DOWN ♪
♪ I'M THE ONE KNIGHT SUPREME ♪
♪ BEING ALL-SEEING ♪
♪ SOUL WITH THE ROLE ♪
♪ NO, I'M NOT EUROPEAN ♪
♪ OPERATOR, OPERATOR,
AND THEN PUT ME ON... ♪♪
[Audience Cheering]
[Cheering Continues] OH, HI.
OKAY, OKAY! [Cheering Stops]
HEY, LITTLE WANDA. I'LL
CHANGE YOU IN A MINUTE.
FIRST I GOTTA GET OVER
HERE AND GET MY BREAST PUMP.
WOO-HOO! THIS IS THE
FAVORITE PART OF THE DAY.
MY FAVORITE PART OF THE
DAY. THIS IS LIKE "NIPO-SUCTION."
[Baby Crying] OH. OH, HUSH. OOH.
DON'T CRY. UH-UH. NO, NO.
YOU NEED TO GET CHANGED.
I KNOW WHAT'S WRONG.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT
IT. I'LL CHANGE YOU.
JUST HOLD ON A MINUTE.
JUST GIVE ME A SECOND.
OKAY. OH-OH!
I GUESS I SHOULDN'T HAVE GAVE
YOU ALL THAT RASPBERRY SNAPPLE.
OOH. OKAY. SHH. OOH.
YOU SO CUTE. HOW
YOU GET SO PRETTY?
YOU LOOK JUST LIKE YOUR MAMA.
[Crying] OH, OKAY.
UH-HUH. NO CRYIN' NOW.
♪ HUSH LITTLE BABY
DON'T YOU CRY ♪
♪ MAMA'S GOTTA GET HER
SOME GOOD SHUT-EYE ♪
♪ AND WHEN SHE FIND YOUR
DADDY YOU KNOW WHAT I'M A DO ♪
♪ IT'S GONNA BE GOOD LOVIN',
BODY ROCKIN' ALL NIGHT LONG ♪
[Screaming] HEY. FOR
REAL. OH. OH. OKAY. OH-OH.
OH. YOU MUST HAVE A GAS
BUBBLE OR SOME... [Belches]
OOH, IT SMELL LIKE THAT HOG HEAD
CHEESE I HAD EARLIER THIS MORNING.
OKAY, I'M GONNA
LAY YOU DOWN NOW...
'CAUSE MAMA GOTTA WRITE
IN HER DIARY AND STUFF, OKAY?
SO HUSH AND BE
QUIET. STAY TIGHT.
DON'T LET THE BEDBUGS GET
ALL UP IN YOUR STUFF, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT. OOH.
"DEAR... DEAR DIARY,
"I AM STILL LOOKIN' FOR WANDA'S
MAN. I HAVE SOME TYPE OF CLUE.
"I KNOW HE LIGHT 'SKINNED-ED.'
I KNOW HE GOT GREEN EYES...
"AND HE USED TO
POP-LOCK AND STUFF,
"AND HE DROVE A CAMARO.
"BUT I'M STILL KINDA SHADY ON
WHAT HE ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE.
"I WENT TO THE POLICE STATION...
"I WENT...
"AND I SAID, 'I'M
LOOKIN' FOR MY MAN.'
THEY SAID, 'WELL, DO YOU
WANT US TO SUBPOENA... '"
SUP... S...
"'DO YOU WANT US TO FIND HIM?'
"AND I SAID, 'YES, I DO, BECAUSE THAT'S THE
WAY I GOT LIKE THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE.'
SO ANYWAY, DEAR DIARY, I'LL
JUST KEEP ON WITH MY SEARCH."
GOOD NIGHT, LITTLE WANDA.
[Baby Belches]
- [Laughing]
- ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
- ♪ TAKE IT FROM ME
IT'S A'IGHT TO BE ♪
- HI-YAH!
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ AND HOW WOULD YA... HOW
WOULD YA... HOW WOULD YA F... ♪
♪ HOW WOULD YOU FEEL KNOWING
PREJUDICE WAS OBSOLETE ♪
♪ AND ALL MANKIND
DANCED TO THE EXACT BEAT ♪
[Echoing] ♪ AND AT NIGHT IT WAS
SAFE TO WALK DOWN THE STREET ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
[Turntable Scratching]
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
[Laughing]
[Male Announcer] COMING THIS FALL TO FOX,
THE ALL NEW CIRCUS OF THE BLACK STARS.
YOU'LL SEE DARING ACROBATS
GARRETT MORRIS AND NELL CARTER.
HOLD STILL. I'M
GETTIN' READY TO JUMP.
AT LEAST LET ME
PUT A PARACHUTE ON.
SHUT UP! WE GONNA
DO THIS ON THREE.
THREE!
I'M COMIN', JESUS!
[Announcer] YOU'LL SEE
SINBAD THE LION TAMER.
MAN, LOOK AT THAT LION!
MAN, THAT'S A BIG OLD
LION, MAN. [Whip Cracks]
LION BE SITTIN' THERE LOOKIN'
AT ME, TALKIN' 'BOUT... [Snarling]
"HEY, SINBAD. I AIN'T LYIN'."
AND I'M NOT! MAN, THE LAST
TIME I SAW A LION WAS AT THE ZOO.
[Growling] [Whip Cracks]
GET BACK. I MEAN IT, MAN.
[Announcer] YOU'LL THRILL AND
GASP AS YOU WATCH THE STARS...
PERFORM THE ANCIENT
ART OF KNIFE THROWING.
HI, I'M SHARI BELAFONTE. YOU PEOPLE
THERE WOULD BE LESS OF A TARGET...
IF YOU GOT HOOKED
ON SLIM-FAST LIKE ME.
LOOK AT ME. DIG THIS. I'VE GOT A
GOOD FIGURE, A FAMOUS FATHER...
HOW COME I'M NOT WORKING MORE?
YOU HAVE TO TALK A
LITTLE LOUDER, SHARI.
I HAVE TO THROW THE
KNIVES AT YOUR VOICE.
[Announcer] AND THRILL AS JACKÉE IS
TURNED INTO A HUMAN CANNONBALL.
OOH! I HOPE THIS
DON'T MESS UP MY NAILS.
HEY, TALL, DARK AND HANDSOME.
WHY DON'T YOU POINT THIS HERE CANNON
IN THE DIRECTION OF YOUR APARTMENT...
AND I CAN MEET YOU THERE
AFTER THE SHOW? OOH!
[Screaming, Grunts]
OOH, LOOK. IT'S RAININ'
MEN. OOH! [Giggles]
[Announcer] SO DON'T MISS THE
CIRCUS OF THE BLACK STARS.
[Jackée Screaming]
COMING FROM FOX.
♪♪ [Funk]
♪♪ [Ends]
MISS. MISS. MISS.
HOW DID YOU FEEL WHEN YOU WON THE
FANTASY DATE WITH MAGNIFICO HIMSELF?
OH, I JUST COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. I
MEAN, HE'S SO GORGEOUS. [Giggles]
HE CERTAINLY IS.
[Makes Sizzling Sound]
NOW WHY DON'T WE SHOW
JULIE TO HER TABLE, HUH?
OKAY. JULIE!
OH. WHAT THE HELL
IS KEEPING HIM?
WELL, EVER SINCE COSMO
NAMED HIM THE SEXIEST
MAN, HE'S BEEN
ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE.
YOU KNOW, I HAVEN'T EVEN LAID EYES
ON HIM SINCE HE LEFT FOR EUROPE.
THAT WAS SIX MONTHS AGO.
YEAH. [Motorcycle Approaching]
[Motorcycle Engine
Stops] AH-HA! I AM HERE!
YEAH. LINDA! [Groans]
SO FANTASTIC IT IS TO FEAST MY
LOOKS UPON YOUR SEXUAL APPEARANCE.
MAGNIFICO HAS ARRIVED. MY GOD. WHAT
THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO YOURSELF?
NOTHING, THANK
YOU. AND YOURSELF?
AHA! MY PRESS. THEY HUNGER
FOR ME. OUT OF THE WAY!
[Chattering]
YO, MAN. EXCUSE
ME. I GOT IT. I GOT IT.
MAGNIFICO. WOULD YOU CARE
TO COMMENT ON YOUR NEW LOOK?
[Cackles] WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WHAT
DO YOU SPEAK OF, THIS NEW LOOK?
OKAY. WELL, SOME
PEOPLE MIGHT SAY...
THAT YOU REALLY, REALLY, REALLY...
DAMN! REALLY LET YOURSELF GO.
HA-HA! WELL, I MAY HAVE PUT
ON A POUND OR TWO. SO WHAT?
IT IS NO MATTER. THE CAMERA
LOVES ME. I AM... MAGNIFICO.
IS IT TRUE THAT YOU'VE BEEN LINKED WITH
RECENT CATTLE DISAPPEARANCES IN OKLAHOMA?
WELL, I, UH... I FORGET,
BUT IT IS NO MATTER.
I AM SEXIEST, MOST BELOVED
MAN IN WORLD! I AM... MAGNIFICO.
NOW, WHERE IS SHE, THE
LUCKIEST LADY IN THE WORLD?
AHA! HERE SHE IS.
TAKE A WALK, GOOFY.
MY LITTLE FURRY ONE, ARE YOU
READY TO RIDE THE WILD WIND...
ON THE BACK OF A PONY
NAMED "LOVE," HUH?
WHO ARE YOU?
YOU, UH... YOU ARE INTIMIDATED
BY MY STUNNING GOOD LOOKS, YES?
DO NOT BE ASHAMED
BY YOUR PLAINNESS.
TO MAGNIFICO, IT IS, UH, A WOMAN'S
INSIDES WHO ARE MOST BEAUTIFUL.
[Belches] [Coughing]
NOW, WHO DO I HAVE TO MAKE
LONG, PASSIONATE LOVE TO...
TO GET A BEER AROUND HERE, HUH?
MAGNIFICO, FIRST WE NEED TO TAKE
SOME PUBLICITY SHOTS. ALL RIGHT. OKAY.
COME ON. GET UP! [Screams] NO!
YES. I WILL, UH... I WILL
NOW STRIP DOWNWARDS...
TO MY FLIMSY, VELVET
JOCKSTRAP UNDERWEARS.
PREPARE TO BE
TANTALIZED. [Screams] NO!
NO, NO, NO. THAT WON'T
BE NECESSARY. ALL RIGHT.
NOW IS... IS THERE ANY WAY
TO MAKE HIM LOOK GOOD?
UM... NO. OH. OKAY.
MY DEAR, REFRESH MY BRAIN. WHAT
WAS YOUR MAGNIFICO FANTASY DATE?
OH, JUST TO MEET YOU
AND THEN QUICKLY LEAVE.
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. IT WAS SO
MUCH MORE. NOW I AM REMEMBERING.
YOU WANTED ME TO LOWER
MYSELF DOWN UPON YOUR LIPS,
SLOWLY BUT SURELY
GRINDING MYSELF... NO! NO!
[Screaming]
[Screaming Continues]
YES, YES. THIS IS A NIGHT THEY
WILL NEVER BE FORGETTING. HA-HA!
BECAUSE THE CAMERA LOVES ME. I
AM... MAGNIFICO! [Camera Shutter Clicks]
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...
UH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
AS YOU ALL KNOW, MAGNIFICO'S
NEW CD, HUNGRY FOR YOU,
HIT RECORD STORES THIS WEEK.
YES, AND TONIGHT, HE'S
GOING TO BE SINGING...
HIS NEW HIT SINGLE,
"THE WAY I LOOK TONIGHT."
MAGNIFICO!
♪♪ [Slow Rock] THANK YOU,
LINDA. YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL.
♪ OH, GIRL, I... ♪♪
I, UH... I, UH...
♪ OH GIRL YOU LOVE ME ♪
♪ AND WHO CAN BLAME YOU
THE WAY I LOOK TONIGHT ♪
♪ THE REFLECTION OF ME IN
YOUR BEAUTIFUL BLUE EYES ♪
♪ OH, WHAT A LOVELY SIGHT ♪
♪ YOU LIE BESIDE ME, BATHED ♪
♪ BATHED IN MY
GLISTENING SWEAT ♪
♪ YOU HAVE NEVER HAD
A LOVER SO TENDER ♪
♪ SO STRONG I'M THE
GREATEST ONE YET ♪♪
OH, EXCUSE ME.
I'VE TO GET THIS...
♪ LISTEN, YOU'VE NEVER
HAD A LOVER SO STRONG ♪
♪ AND TONIGHT, THE TIME THERE
IS STILL TIME FOR YOU AND I ♪
♪ YOU ARE SO SWEET, LIKE
LIKE CHOCOLATE THINGS ♪
♪ YOU ARE SWEETER
THAN CHOCOLATE ♪
♪ I WANT YOU I WANT TO
LICK YOUR CREAM FILLING ♪
♪ I WANT TO BATHE MYSELF
IN YOUR CHOCOLATES ♪♪
COME BACK HERE. I
LOVE YOU. YOU CAN'T GO.
I WILL CRUSH YOU. NO, COME
HERE. MAGNIFICO. COME BACK HERE!
[Shouting, Indistinct]
[Turntable Scratching]
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
- [Man] CHECK THIS OUT.
- [Woman] ♪ YEAH ♪
♪ YE... YE... YE... YE...
YE... YE... YE... YE... YEAH ♪
- [Turntable Scratching] - ♪
YE... YE... YE... YE... YEAH ♪
♪ YEAH YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH
YE... YE... YE... YEAH ♪♪
THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
AND NOW FOR MY NEXT TRICK.
I WILL CLOSE THE
CURTAIN ON THIS CHAMBER,
AND WHEN I OPEN IT AGAIN, MY LOVELY
ASSISTANT, RHONDA, WILL HAVE DISAPPEARED.
[Drumroll]
[Drum Fill, Cymbal Crash]
HI HOWDY, FOLKS. WHO ARE YOU?
I'M FIRE MARSHAL BILL BURNS,
AND THIS MAGIC SHOW, WHILE
ENTERTAINING TO YOUNG AND OLD ALIKE,
COULD BE A HAZARD
TO LIFE AND LIMB!
SOME BROAD NEARLY KNOCKED ME DOWN
GOIN' THROUGH THAT SECRET PASSAGEWAY.
SIR, I ASSURE YOU. WHAT I PERFORM
IS MAGIC. IT IS COMPLETELY SAFE.
THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID
ABOUT THE WORLD TRADE
CENTER, SON. BUT ME
AND MY FRIEND ABDUL...
AND A COUPLE OF POUNDS OF PLASTIQUE
EXPLOSIVE SHOWED 'EM DIFFERENT.
[Cackles]
LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
SAY YOU'RE ABOUT TO WOW THE
AUDIENCE WITH A LITTLE SLEIGHT OF HAND.
[Drumroll] YOU GO TO TAP YOUR
WRIST WITH THE MAGIC WAND,
WHEN SOMEBODY YELLS OUT, "LOOK! SIEGFRIED
AND ROY JUST MADE A SALAMI DISAPPEAR."
IN ALL THE EXCITEMENT, YOU PICK
UP YOUR MAGIC MACHETE INSTEAD.
AND BEFORE YOU KNOW
IT... PRESTO HACKO.
[Blade Hits Flesh]
[Drumroll, Cymbal Crash]
YOU'RE CHANGIN' YOUR
NAME TO DAVID CHOPPERFIELD.
LOOK, FOLKS. NOTHIN'
UP MY SLEEVE. [Cackles]
ISN'T THAT A WONDERFUL TRICK, FOLKS?
HUH? THANK YOU FOR STOPPING BY, SIR.
NOW, IF I MAY DIRECT
YOUR ATTENTION,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
TO THE LOVELY BIRDCAGE.
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE,
MAGIC JOHNSON!
THAT LITTLE AVIARY IS AN
ACCIDENT WAITIN' TO HAPPEN.
SAY YOU GO TO COVER THESE BIRDS
WITH ONE OF YOUR MYSTICAL SNOT RAGS.
WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW IS, PYRO,
THE MENTALLY DEFICIENT FIRE-EATER,
HAS SWITCHED IT WITH
A GASOLINE SOAKED RAG.
LIKE SO.
MEANWHILE, YOU'RE
SO CONFIDENT...
AND SO SUREFIRE COCKY ABOUT
YOUR LITTLE DISAPPEARING BIRD TRICK...
THAT YOU DECIDE TO BRUSH UP ON
YOUR ARC WELDING AT THE SAME TIME.
THAT'S WHAT IT'S
ALL ABOUT! [Cackles]
OH! MY BIRDS! MY
BIRDS! PUT THAT OUT!
IT'S SO... BEAUTIFUL!
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!
THIS IS MAGIC. IT'S
NOT DANGEROUS.
THE HAND IS QUICKER
THAN THE EYE.
WELL, I'D LIKE TO
TEST THAT THEORY.
- [Screaming, Cackling]
- [Pops]
LOOKS LIKE A PHOTO FINISH TO ME.
SIR, SIR, GET OFF THIS STAGE.
YOU'RE RUINING THE WHOLE SHOW!
SON, NOT SO FAST. YOU DON'T
WANNA MISS MY GRAND FINALE.
I BROUGHT A LITTLE ILLUSION
OF MY OWN. ♪♪ [Vocalizing]
♪♪ [Continues]
♪♪ [Stops]
OH, MANDRAKE, WOULD YOU BE
SO KIND AS TO PLACE THE TOP BOX...
ON THE TABLE OVER THERE?
[Muttering]
WELCOME TO THE
WORLD OF ILLUSION!
THAT'S INCREDIBLE.
HOW DID YOU DO THAT?
EASY. LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING!
[Chain Saw Buzzing]
OH, MY GOD! LOOK
OUT, EVERYBODY! RUN!
[Cackling] GET OUT!
OH, MY GOD! HE'S
GOIN' FOR THE GAS MAIN!
DON'T WORRY, FOLKS.
THAT'S THE HEADLESS CHAINSAW-WIELDING
TORSO OF A FIRE MARSHAL.
[Siren Wailing] I'M
RUINED IN THE BUSINESS.
[Sniffles]
I JUST GOT A JOB
WORKIN' WITH GALLAGHER.
[Cackling]
IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHAT'S NEXT,
STRAIGHT FROM ELEKTRA
RECORDS TO SING THEIR HOT SINGLE,
PLEASE PUT YOUR
HANDS TOGETHER FOR...
LEADERS OF THE NEW SCHOOL!
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
[All] ♪ L-O-N-S Y'ALL
L-O-N-S Y'ALL ♪
♪ L-O-N-S Y'ALL L-O-N-S Y'ALL ♪
♪ L-O-N-S Y'ALL L-O-N-S Y'ALL ♪
♪ YO, YO I CAN FEEL Y'ALL ♪
♪ L-O-N-S Y'ALL L-O-N-S
Y'ALL L-O-N-S Y'ALL ♪
♪ SAY HOO-AH NOW HERE WE GO ♪
♪ YO, BUSTA KICK IT ♪
♪ SKIP TO MY LOU ♪
♪ YES ♪
♪ GOT A FUNKY HOPSCOTCH GAME
GOIN' ON ♪ ♪ GETTIN' STRONG ♪
♪ I THINK YOU BETTER FOLLOW
THIS AND COME ALONG ♪
♪ HEAVENS TO MURGATROID WE'VE
COME UP WITH ANOTHER NEW SONG ♪
♪ SING ALONG ♪
♪ TICK-A-TICK-A-TOCK ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT ♪
♪ COMIN' AROUND THE BLOCK ♪
♪ LEADERS OF THE NEW ♪ ♪ WITH
THE SH... THAT IS SURE TO HIT THE SPOT ♪
♪ OOH AAH YES COME
IN MY DRAGON'S LAIR ♪
♪ THAT'S WHEN I TURN SLAYER
BETTER SAY YOUR PRAYER ♪
♪ OPEN YOUR EYES ♪
♪ RISE, YES I COME TO ♪
♪ STERILIZE ♪ ♪ MR. PARASITE
I GOT YOUR BIG SURPRISE ♪
♪ MAD EFFECTIVE AS YOU VISION
MY PERSPECTIVE ♪ ♪ HOT SHOT ♪
♪ LOOK AT WHAT YOU GOT A SUPER
ACHE INFECTED ♪ ♪ SPEED KNOT ♪
♪ DOUBLE-TEAM STUNNING EVERY
TIME I SEE THE FRAUD COMING ♪
♪ TIME TO BACK THE TOOLS
AND START ♪ ♪ RUNNING ♪
♪ LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHIN' YOU
AIN'T SAYING NOTHIN' WITH YOUR FUSSIN' ♪
♪ NOW YOU GOT ME CUSSIN'
BAKE YOU LIKE A MUFFIN ♪
♪ FULL OF STUFFIN' ♪
♪ FOR THE WORLD TO SEE ♪
♪ LEADERS OF THE NEW IS IN
THE PLACE TO BE FOR '93, "G" ♪
♪ WHAT'S NEXT ♪ ♪ WE COME
FRESH NO DUTTY BOY CAN TEST ♪
- ♪ WHAT'S NEXT ♪
- ♪ YOU KNOW WE WICKED
AND WE FULL UP OF FINESSE ♪
- ♪ WHAT'S NEXT ♪
- ♪ CAUSE WHEN WE DO A DANCE
WE HAVE TO IMPRESS ♪
- ♪ WHAT'S NEXT ♪
- ♪ FOR MY BROTHER C. BOOGIE
BROWN TO COME DOWN ♪
♪ BROWN ♪ ♪ OH, OH
BROWN, BROWN, BROWN ♪
♪ YO, YO, YOU KNOW I LOVE THE WAY
IT'S GOIN' DOWN ♪ ♪ GOIN' DOWN ♪
♪ YOU KNOW I LOVE THEY WAY
IT'S GOIN' DOWN ♪ ♪ GOIN' DOWN ♪
♪ I'M THE ONE KNIGHT SUPREME ♪
♪ BEING ALL-SEEING ♪
♪ SOUL WITH THE ROLE ♪
♪ NO, I'M NOT EUROPEAN ♪
♪ OPERATOR, OPERATOR,
AND THEN PUT ME ON... ♪♪