In Living Color (1990–1994): Season 5, Episode 6 - Droop! There It Is - full transcript
- [Laughing]
- ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
- ♪ TAKE IT FROM ME
IT'S A'IGHT TO BE ♪
- HI-YAH!
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ AND HOW WOULD YA... HOW
WOULD YA... HOW WOULD YA F... ♪
♪ HOW WOULD YOU FEEL KNOWING
PREJUDICE WAS OBSOLETE ♪
♪ AND ALL MANKIND
DANCED TO THE EXACT BEAT ♪
[Echoing] ♪ AND AT NIGHT IT WAS
SAFE TO WALK DOWN THE STREET ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
[Turntable Scratching]
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
[Laughing]
HI! I'M RUSH LIMBAUGH.
AND I'M AL SHARPTON.
AND WE'VE PUT ASIDE OUR
DIFFERENCES TO BRING YOU...
RUSH 'N' AL'S BIG &
LOUD MEN'S SHOP!
NOW, YOU MAY BE ASKING YOURSELF,
WHAT COULD I HAVE IN COMMON
WITH HITLER'S CHUNKY NEPHEW?
YES, AND WHAT COULD
I POSSIBLY HAVE IN
COMMON WITH THIS PORK
CHOP WITH A POMPADOUR?
WELL, WE BOTH HAVE AN
INSATIABLE APPETITE FOR POWER.
AND FOR PIZZA! ALONG WITH A TASTE
FOR CLOTHES WITH ELASTIC WAISTBANDS!
THAT'S RIGHT.
I SEE IT'S NOT JUST YOUR
POLITICS THAT LEAN TO THE RIGHT.
YES, IT'S TRUE... WE GET A
LITTLE LOUD AND OVERBEARING.
BUT YOU WON'T MIND
WHEN WE PUT YOU IN A SUIT...
FOR THE PRICE OF A GOOD PERM, A
CURL AND A CASE OF DARK AND LOVELY!
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, PILLSBURY
DOUGH BOY? RIGHT YOU ARE, RERUN!
HEY, HEY, HEY!
AND, UNLIKE "THE REVEREND," OUR
TAILORS ARE REAL MEN OF THE CLOTH.
LET SOME FEMINAZI TRY AND RESIST YOU
IN THESE ATTRACTIVE YET ROOMY SLACKS.
FEELS GOOD TO HAVE BOBO
AT YOUR FEET, DOESN'T IT, BRO?
NOW, TAKE A LOOK AT THIS BABY,
SPECIALLY DESIGNED BY ME
WITH TALENT ON LOAN FROM GOD.
AT ONLY 149.99, EVEN YOU LAZY
WELFARE FREELOADERS CAN AFFORD IT.
HE NORMALLY WEARS A HOOD
WITH THAT WHITE SUIT! THAT'S RIGHT.
AND IT DOESN'T MATTER
WHAT IF YOU'RE BIG OR LOUD,
'CAUSE WE GOT SIZES
FOR EVERYBODY...
LARGE, LARGER AND THE
NEW MALCOLM X-TRA LARGE.
NOW, DON'T WORRY ABOUT GETTING
FOOD ALL OVER YOUR NEW SUIT.
ALL OF RUSH 'N' AL'S
BIG & LOUD SUITS...
COME WITH OUR PATENTED
EATER'S SIDE AIR-BIB!
NOW, THAT'S CONVENIENCE!
I HAVE A DREAM...
THAT I WOULD ONE
DAY FIT IN A 32 WAIST.
KEEP DREAMING, PAL. GET YOUR PINK,
SWEATY WHITE HANDS OFF ME, BOBO.
OH! ARE YOU GONNA START
CRYING, RODNEY KING?
OH, LOOK! THERE GOES MARTINA
NAVRATILOVA KISSIN' ALL OVER YOUR MAMA!
SO MAYBE WE ALL CAN'T GET ALONG.
BUT WE CAN ALL GET A LONG COAT, A
SPORT JACKET AND TWO PAIRS OF TROUSERS...
FOR UNDER $200.
THAT'S RIGHT... UNDER $200.
AT RUSH 'N' AL'S, WE'VE GOT THE SUIT FOR
YOU, WHETHER YOU'RE WHITE OR WRONG.
AND WE'RE EASY TO FIND TOO. TAKE A
RIGHT ON MARTIN LUTHER KING BOULEVARD.
AND JUST KEEP HEADING WEST UNTIL YOU
SMELL THE TENDER, FLAKY APPLE FRITTERS...
LEADING YOU TO OUR
SPACIOUS OUTLET.
SO COME ON DOWN! TO
RUSH 'N' AL'S BIG & LOUD SHOP.
OUR STOMACHS ARE INFLATED!
BUT OUR PRICES ARE NOT!
COME ON! LET'S GO AND EAT!
HI, THIS IS KITTY SINGLETON
IN THE FOX NEWS ROOM.
JOINING US IS THE DIRECTOR OF HOUSING AND
URBAN DEVELOPMENT, MR. RICHARD SULLIVAN.
MR. SULLIVAN, HOW HAVE THE
RECENT BUDGET CUTS AFFECTED HUD?
TERRIBLY. OUR AGENCY WAS ONE OF
THE HARDEST HIT BY THE CUTBACKS,
LARGELY DUE TO THE NEGATIVE
PRESS OVER PAST SCANDALS,
WHICH IS TRAGIC BECAUSE
LOW-INCOME HOUSING
IS ESSENTIAL TO THE
WELFARE OF THE COUNTRY.
BY MAKING CUTBACKS
IN OUR DEPARTMENT,
YOU ARE REALLY SHUTTING THE
DOOR ON THE FUTURE OF OUR CHILDREN.
BUT WHAT REASSURANCES DO WE HAVE
THAT IMPROPRIETY WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN?
WELL, I GUESS ALL
YOU HAVE IS MY WORD.
SEE, WHEN THE TREASURY WAS FIRST SET
UP, THEY LACKED A MISSION STATEMENT...
UNCLEAR GOALS OF THE
DEPARTMENT THAT ALLOWED
THE SITUATION TO
GET WAY OUT OF HAND.
EMPLOYEES WERE NOT
REQUIRED TO GET PROJECTS
AND LOANS APPROVED
THROUGH PROPER CHANNELS.
BUT SINCE THAT TIME NEW
RULES HAVE BEEN IMPLEMENTED...
WHICH PROVIDE SAFEGUARDS
AGAINST THAT EVER HAPPENING AGAIN.
YOU MENTIONED A MISSION STATEMENT.
WHAT IS HUD'S MISSION STATEMENT?
WELL, I CAN'T TELL YOU
THE EXACT WORDING,
BUT WE ARE HERE TO
HELP PROVIDE LOW-INCOME
FAMILIES THE CHANCE
FOR AFFORDABLE HOUSING...
AND, IN THE PROCESS, HELP
DEVELOP THE INNER CITY.
HOW WILL THE CUTS IN
THE BUDGET HURT HUD?
KITTY, THE BUDGET CUTS
WERE BASED ON THE IDEA...
THAT THE INTEREST RATE WOULD
FALL BELOW FOUR PERCENT,
THUS LOWERING THE
NEED FOR HUD DOLLARS.
BUT THE INTEREST RATE
HAS REMAINED CONSTANT,
WHICH WILL DEPLETE THE FUNDS THAT
HUD HAS ALLOWED FOR LOW-INTEREST LOANS.
WHAT EXACTLY IS HUD DOING TO REVITALIZE
THE NATION'S CRIME-RIDDEN PUBLIC HOUSING?
WELL, AS YOU KNOW, THERE
ARE OVER 3.4 MILLION AMERICANS...
LIVING IN PUBLIC HOUSING,
AND HUD HAS DELEGATED
OVER $483,000,000...
FOR REBUILDING AND
SECURITY PURPOSES.
WE ARE HOPING TO IMPROVE
THE HOUSING DEPARTMENT...
SO THAT THE FAMILIES CAN ONCE
AGAIN FEEL SECURE IN THEIR OWN HOME.
BUT WON'T THE CUTBACKS BE
DETRIMENTAL TO PUBLIC HOUSING?
NO. REGARDLESS OF
PRESIDENTIAL BUDGET CUTS,
PUBLIC HOUSING IS OUR
NUMBER-ONE PRIORITY.
SO I WOULD LIKE TO REASSURE THE LOW-INCOME
TENANTS THAT EVEN THOUGH THE PRESIDENT...
IS RETREATING FROM
URBAN HOMESTEADING,
THE HOUSING DEPARTMENT
WILL NOT ABANDON THESE PEOPLE.
NOW, WHAT PROJECTS CAN WE EXPECT
TO SEE FROM HUD IN THE NEAR FUTURE?
OH, WELL, TO NAME ALL THE
GOALS OF HUD WOULD BE FUTILE...
CONSIDERING THE
TIME ALLOTTED HERE.
BUT I CAN TELL YOU THAT THE
NEW COMMISSION WAS DESIGNED...
NOT ONLY TO HELP THE CONSUMER,
BUT ALSO THE INFRASTRUCTURE
OF OUR INNER CITIES.
OKAY, NOW, YOU SPEAK ABOUT PUBLIC HOUSING,
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE FIRST-TIME HOME BUYER?
WITH PROPER EMPLOYEE VERIFICATION
WE CAN ENSURE THAT THOSE PEOPLE...
WILL BE FIRST ON THE LIST TO GET
HOMES WITH SUBSTANTIAL DOWN PAYMENTS.
WELL, I WANT TO THANK YOU
VERY MUCH, MR. SULLIVAN,
FOR TAKING TIME OUT OF YOUR BUSY
SCHEDULE AND JOINING US HERE TODAY.
IT'S BEEN MY PLEASURE. THIS HAS BEEN
KITTY SINGLETON, LIVE FOR FOX NEWS.
GOOD NIGHT.
♪♪ [R&B]
♪♪ [Ends]
[Announcer] AND NOW, A FEW
MINUTES WITH RANDY ROONEY.
DID YOU EVER NOTICE HOW MANY
MYTHS THERE ARE ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE?
WHY IS IT WHITE PEOPLE
SAY WE ALL LOOK ALIKE?
I GET GARY COLEMAN AND SHAQUILLE
O'NEAL CONFUSED ALL THE TIME.
AND WHY DO THEY ALWAYS TELL ME
SOME OF THEIR BEST FRIENDS ARE BLACK,
YET YOU NEVER SEEM TO SEE
THEM WITH THEIR BEST FRIENDS?
[Pager Beeping]
HOW COME WHEN A BLACK MAN'S
BEEPER GOES OFF, HE'S A WANTED FELON,
BUT WHEN A WHITE GUY'S BEEPER
GOES OFF, HE'S A-WANTED IN SURGERY?
AND WHY IS IT THAT EVERY GOVERNMENT
REPORT THAT COMES OUT ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE...
MAKES OUR FUTURE SEEM SO BLEAK?
WE'VE GOT HIGH BLOOD
PRESSURE, HIGH CHOLESTEROL,
HIGH TRIGLYCERIDES, HIGH SODIUM.
THE ONLY THING
THAT'S LOW IS OUR PAY.
[Siren Blaring]
DID YOU EVER NOTICE THAT THE
POLICE SEEM TO ALWAYS PULL YOU OVER...
WHEN YOU'RE HANGING
WITH THE HOMEBOYS?
THEIR IDEA OF A
WARNING IS A TASER BLAST.
AND THOSE TASER
DARTS HURT! OUCH!
THESE ARE ONE OF THOSE
FLESH-COLORED BAND-AIDS.
WHOSE FLESH ARE THEY
TALKING ABOUT ANYWAY?
CERTAINLY NOT OURS.
AND WHEN THE
POLICE PULL YOU OVER,
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS SEEM
TO FIT THE DESCRIPTION...
OF A SUSPECT
THEY'RE LOOKING FOR?
JEFFREY DAHMER WAS
WHI TO EAT M. KIND O
Y IS IT A SOUL
TRAIN? IF IT WERE, TH
BECAUSE DON CORNELIUS
FIT THE DESCRIPTION...
OF A SUSPECT
THEY'RE LOOKING FOR.
[Announcer] AND THAT WAS A FEW
MOMENTS OF DISSING WITH RANDY ROONEY.
WHAT'LL YOU HAVE,
PAL? UH, UH, UH...
HOW MUCH... HOW MUCH... HOW
MUCH FOR A BEER? UH, DOLLAR-50.
OOD LORD! THAT'S A LOT
OF MONEY FOR A BEER.
UH, GOOD LORD! THAT DON'T
HOW SOUND TOO LIGHT TO ME.
UH, UH, WH-WHY DON'T YOU WRING OUT
THE DIRTY BAR RAG IN MY MOUTH? YEAH.
UH, I CAN'T DO THAT, MAN.
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. UH, UH, HOW
MUCH FOR A VIRGIN DAIQUIRI?
- UH, THAT'LL BE 2.50.
- 2.50! GOOD LORD!
HOW 'BOUT I GIVE YOU 30 CENTS, AND
YOU GIVE ME A KOOL-AID WITH SIX KIDS?
I CAN'T DO IT, MAN.
HOW 'BOUT... HOW 'BOUT
WINE? HOW 'BOUT SOME WINE?
- THREE DOLLARS.
- THREE BUCKS! GOOD LORD!
HOW 'BOUT I GIVE YOU 32 CENTS,
AND YOU GIVE ME A RUM
LIFESAVER AND A GLASS OF WATER?
LOOK, MAN, I POURED
A BEER EARLIER.
YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND
DRINK THAT, BUT WHEN YOU
FINISHED, YOU GOT TO
GET OUT OF HERE, OKAY?
THANKS A LOT, MAN. THANKS
A LOT. HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!
HOW MUCH FOR
THEM PISTACHIO NUTS?
PISTACHIOS ARE A DOLLAR, BUDDY.
A DOLLAR FOR PISTACHIO
NUTS! GOOD LORD!
HOW 'BOUT I GIVE YOU 14 CENTS, YOU LET
ME SUCK THEM RIGHT OFF YOUR FINGERS?
LOOK, BUDDY. DON'T
GET SMART WITH ME.
I'LL HAVE YOU THROWN OUT OF HERE, ALL
RIGHT? DON'T MAKE ME CALL THE BOUNCER.
HEY, HEY. THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT. OKAY.
HEY, LADIES. HOW YOU
DOIN'? WHAT YOU LISTENIN' TO?
WE'RE PLAYIN' SOME BELL BIV
DEVOE. BELL BIV DEVOE, HUH?
UH, HOW MUCH IT COST? HOW MUCH
IT COST? THREE DOLLARS A SONG.
THREE DOLLARS A SONG? GOOD LORD!
HOW 'BOUT I GIVE YOU 25 CENTS,
AND YOU PLAY SOME RALPH TRESVANT?
THEY DON'T EVEN
HAVE RALPH TRESVANT.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
QUIT BOTHERING US?
LOOK, BUDDY, WHY
DON'T YOU GET AWAY FROM
THE JUKEBOX AND STOP
BOTHERING MY CUSTOMERS?
WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME ANOTHER
DRINK, AND I'LL JUST BOTHER YOU?
DON'T PUSH IT.
GOOD MAN. GOOD MAN.
BOY, YOU SURE LOOK GOOD
TONIGHT, AND I SURE AM HORNY.
UH, HOW MUCH IT COST
FOR SOME COMPANY?
FIFTY BUCKS. LET'S GO. FIFTY
BUCKS! GOOD LORD! FIFTY BUCKS.
THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.
NOW, WHAT DO I GET FOR THAT?
I'LL GO HOME WITH YOU AND TAKE
YOU TO THE MOON, OKAY? LET'S GO.
HOW 'BOUT I GIVE YOU $13, AND
YOU TAKE ME TO EL SEGUNDO?
FIFTY BUCKS.
FIFTY BUCKS! THAT'S
A LOT OF MONEY.
OKAY, HOW 'BOUT I GIVE YOU EIGHT
DOLLARS, AND YOU LET ME SMELL YOUR BRA?
LOOK, I TOLD YOU 50 BUCKS, OKAY?
OKAY, OKAY. HOW
MUCH WOULD IT COST...
HOW MUCH WOULD IT COST ME IF I WAS
TO RUB UP AGAINST YOUR LEG LIKE A DOG?
SEVENTY BUCKS. SEVENTY
BUCKS! GOOD LORD!
OH! OH! HOW 'BOUT I GIVE YOU FOUR
DOLLARS, AND YOU GIVE ME A SCOOBY SNACK?
LOOK... LOOK, SWAMP THING. WHY DON'T
YOU JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE?
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY! IS THIS
CREEP BOTHERIN' YOU? YES, HE IS.
HEY, MAN, LIKE I TOLD
YOU... I WARNED YOU, DIDN'T I?
SNOOKY! GET THIS
GUY OUT OF HERE.
WITH PLEASURE. WHO'S SNOOKY?
I'M GONNA PUNCH YOU
INTO NEXT WEEK, BUDDY.
WHY DON'T YOU PUNCH ME INTO
WEDNESDAY? THAT'S PAY DAY!
HEY! HEY! SNOOKY! SNOOKY!
♪♪ [R&B]
♪♪ [Soloing]
♪♪ [Ends]
YEAH, RIGHT THIS WAY, NOW.
UH, EXCUSE ME, BUT THAT
GIRL'S SITTING IN MY SEAT.
NOW, HOLD UP, UNCLE
REMUS. LOOK, SHE'S
SITTIN' THERE 'CAUSE I
TOLD HER TO SIT THERE.
- BUT I GOT A TICKET.
- I DON'T CARE IF YOU
GOT A TICKET.
I WANT TO HIT ON HER. I DON'T WANT TO
HIT ON YOU. NOW, SIT DOWN, BIG DADDY KANE.
YEAH, S... SIT DOWN,
BIG-BIG-BIG DADDY RED.
HEY, HEY, HOLD UP, J.J.
WALKER AND CAROL BURNETT.
[Cackling] WHAT'D YOU SAY?
HI, I'M NANCY AXELROD.
THIS IS MY ASSISTANT JORDAN.
I CALLED EARLY FOR V.I.P. SEATS.
OH, YOU CALLED FOR V.I.P. SEATS? SO YOU
SUPPOSED TO BE SITTIN' OVER THERE, RIGHT?
THAT'S RIGHT, YEAH. NO, THAT'S
WRONG. YOU AIN'T ON THE LIST.
- YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A LIST.
- THAT'S WHY YOU AIN'T
ON THE LIST.
YEAH, I GUESS... I GUESS WE-WE-WE
CALL YOU LISTLESS, M-MUPPET MAN.
ALL RIGHT, NOW, HOLD
ON JUST A SECOND HERE.
I HAPPEN TO BE MARSHA
WARFIELD'S AGENT, OKAY?
MARSHA WARFIELD. SO I SUGGEST YOU
TREAT US WITH A LITTLE MORE RESPECT!
I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE MARCIA BRADY'S
AGENT. YOU'RE NOT GETTING THOSE SEATS.
WELL, THIS IS ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLE!
THE PRODUCER IS GONNA HEAR ABOUT THIS!
THE PRODUCER, ALL RIGHT? GET OUT
OF HERE. WHAT ARE YOU? A PARROT?
HEY, YO, MAN! THIS IS WHAT
WE USED TO DO BACK IN THE DAY.
♪♪ [Rhythmic
Sounds] ♪♪ [Vocalizing]
[Distorted] ♪ MORE
BOUNCE TO THE OUNCE ♪
YO, YO, YO, HOLD UP, HOLD UP.
CAN'T YOU SEE THE SIGN? AIN'T
NOBODY ALLOWED ON THE STAGE.
YEAH. Y-YOU CAN'T READ?
R-READING'S FUNDAMENTAL.
YOU BETTER GET
H-HOOKED ON PHONICS.
I CAN READ THE SIGN. I'M
THE PRODUCER OF THE SHOW.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? I WISH I
COULD LET YA BACK, MR. PRODUCER,
BUT I HAPPEN TO THINK
THAT YOU'RE A LIAR.
LIAR, PANTS ON
FIRE. B-BOLOGNA LOG.
- ALL RIGHT, LOOK, BOYS...
- OH! WHOO! BOYS!
IT'S ON, IT'S ON. AFTER THE
RODNEY KING STUFF, WHOO!
ALL RIGHT. LISTEN UP, YOU TWO.
GET BACK TO WORK. THAT'S AN ORDER.
YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT? BIG
BOY EAT THE "J" OFF OF JANUARY.
I GUESS YOU NEED DIRECTIONS
TO YOUR SEAT, MY SISTER?
NO, I'M MARSHA WARFIELD. I JUST
CAME TO GET A FEEL FOR THE CROWD.
[Laughing] [Muttering]
OKAY, ANYWAY, SO YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO
GO TELL SOME JOKES AND THAT TYPE OF STUFF.
THE CROWD'LL BE LAUGHING AND ALL THAT
STUFF, HUH? THEY'LL GO, "HEE-HEE, HO-HO."
WHY DO I GET THE FEELING YOU TWO
WENT TO SCHOOL ON THE LITTLE BUS?
HOW'D SHE KNOW?
OH, YEAH, I KNOW YOU NOW. YOU WAS
ON THAT SHOW NIGHT COURT, RIGHT?
YOU USED TO HANG AROUND,
LIKE, HARRY AND DAN AND ALL THAT.
YO, WHO WAS THAT BIG
BALD-HEADED GUY? BULL.
YOU DAMN RIGHT IT'S BULL! I DON'T
BELIEVE YOU NO MARSHA WARFIELD!
YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.
AIN'T ANYBODY SEEN YOU ON THE BACK
PAGE OF JET OR IN THE DAMN MIDDLE.
LOOK, AMOS AND BURRHEAD,
IF YOU DON'T MIND...
I DO MIND!
THAT'S RIGHT, AND A M-MIND IS
A T-TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE.
DON'T YOU TWO HAVE A
CAR TO JACK SOMEWHERE?
HOW DID SHE KNOW WE
HAD A CAR... HEY, LOOK HERE.
IF YOU WAS A MAN, I'D BE BUSTIN'
YOUR ASS RIGHT ABOUT NOW.
IF YOU WAS A MAN, I'D LET YOU.
IT'S ON!
IT'S ON! EXCUSE ME!
MS. WARFIELD, IS THERE A
PROBLEM HERE? YES, THERE IS.
YEAH, TH-THERE IS. THERE'S
YOUR PROBLEM RIGHT THERE!
- IS THAT TRUE?
- NO, THERE AIN'T
NO PROBLEM, MAN.
I WAS JUST GONNA HELP MS.
WARFIELD GET BACKSTAGE.
LET'S GO, MS. WARFIELD. I'LL
ESCORT YOU TO THE GREEN ROOM.
THANK YOU. HERE'S A QUARTER.
GO BUY YOURSELF A PERSONALITY.
YEAH, AND WITH THE CHANGE,
BUY YOURSELF SOME CLASS!
AND L-LEARN HOW TO
M-MANAGE YOUR EMOTIONS.
UH, UH, I WAS JUST IN
THE GREEN ROOM, 'CAUSE...
YEAH. I'M GONNA PUT YOU IN THE
BLACK AND BLUE ROOM! THAT'S WHAT'S UP!
[Laughs] LET'S DO
LIKE OLD SCHOOL.
♪♪ [Rhythmic
Sounds] ♪♪ [Vocalizing]
COME ON, PUT YOUR HANDS
TOGETHER RIGHT NOW!
PUT YOUR HANDS
TOGETHER! KEEP IT GOING!
LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR THE GURU'S
JAZZAMATAZZ ALONG WITH N'DEA DAVENPORT.
YOU KNOW IT!
♪♪ [R&B]
YEAH, BABY. LISTEN.
I WANT YOU TO TRUST ME. ♪ I
WANT TO TRUST YOU, BABY ♪
YEAH. ♪ I WANT TO
TRUST YOU BABY ♪
♪ I WANT TO TRUST YOU BABY ♪
♪ I WANT TO TRUST YOU, BABY ♪
♪ UH-UH ♪
LISTEN. CHECK THIS OUT.
ALL RIGHT.
[Rapping] ♪ BABY, WHY DON'T
YA HONEY, WHY WON'T YA ♪
♪ ACCEPT THE FACT THAT IT'S
NOT JUST AN ACT THAT I CARE ♪
♪ SO PLEASE LET ME
SHARE SPECIAL MOMENTS ♪
♪ MOMENTS SO RARE CHECK IT OUT ♪
♪ IF I COULD GIVE YOU THE
WORLD YOU KNOW I'D DO IT ♪
♪ EVERYTHING AT YOUR
FEET AIN'T NOTHIN' TO IT ♪
♪ BUT IT'S HARD, SWEETHEART
AND IT'S ROUGH OUT HERE ♪
♪ BUT I DOUBT THERE IS
ANYBODY ELSE FOR ME ♪
- ♪ TRUST ME, LOVE YOU ♪
- ♪ I WANT YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME, NEED YOU ♪
♪ I NEED YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME I WANT YOU
♪ ♪ I WANT YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME ♪
YEAH.
♪ TRUST ME, LOVE YOU ♪
♪ WANT YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME, NEED YOU ♪
♪ NEED YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME I WANT YOU ♪
♪ TRUST ME ♪
♪ THE THINGS I FEEL
THEY ARE FOR REAL ♪
♪ I'M PAST THE POINT OF
DWELLING ON THE SEX APPEAL ♪
♪ MAD CHICKS SWEAT ME BUT
I DESIRE YOUR WOMANNESS ♪
♪ DUDE'S SWEAT YOU
BUT I'M THE BEST ♪
♪ LISTEN, WE COULD BUILD A
FUTURE TOGETHER ♪ ♪ OH ♪
♪ NO, DARLING I WOULD
NEVER SOUP YOU UP NEVER ♪
♪ I'M BUGGIN' OUT OVER THE
THOUGHT OF YOU LEAVIN' ♪
♪ TRY TO STEP TO YOU BUT
NOW YOU'RE RETREATIN' ♪
♪ TRUST ME, LOVE YOU ♪
♪ WANT YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME, NEED YOU ♪
♪ NEED YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME, WANT YOU ♪
♪ I WANT YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME ♪
♪ TRUST ME, LOVE YOU ♪
♪ I WANT YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME, NEED YOU ♪
♪ I NEED YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME, WANT YOU ♪
♪ TRUST ME ♪
♪ I DO BELIEVE YOU
DO CARE ♪ ♪ WORD ♪
♪ TELL YOU THE TRUTH I
AM SCARED ♪ ♪ YEAH ♪
♪ SOME FREAKY PEOPLE
OUT THERE ♪ YOU KNOW?
I KNOW. ♪ TRUST ME, LOVE YOU ♪
♪ WANT YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME, NEED YOU ♪
♪ TRUST ME, WANT YOU TRUST ME ♪
♪ I SENT YOU FLOWERS THERE
I SAT FOR HOURS THERE ♪
♪ CONTEMPLATED THE
STATE OF OUR AFFAIRS ♪
♪ BUT I FIND THERE IS NO
WAY OUT I'M IN A LOVE LOCK ♪
♪ THE FUNNY THING ABOUT IT I
DON'T WANT TO EVEN STOP IT ♪
♪ TRUST ME, LOVE YOU ♪
♪ WANT YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME, NEED YOU ♪
♪ I NEED YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME, WANT YOU ♪
♪ WANT YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME ♪
♪ TRUST ME, LOVE YOU ♪
♪ WANT YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME, NEED YOU ♪
♪ NEED YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME, I WANT
YOU TRUST ME ♪
♪ NOW YOU KNOW THE FLAVA IT'S
NOT ABOUT THE STUFF I GAVE YA ♪
♪ AND MY BEHAVIOR
IS BASED ON STRONG ♪
♪ FEELINGS I HAVE OF YOU
AND ME IT'S LIKE A BOND ♪
♪ TREASURE NOT TO BE CORNY ♪♪
- ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
- ♪ TAKE IT FROM ME
IT'S A'IGHT TO BE ♪
- HI-YAH!
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ AND HOW WOULD YA... HOW
WOULD YA... HOW WOULD YA F... ♪
♪ HOW WOULD YOU FEEL KNOWING
PREJUDICE WAS OBSOLETE ♪
♪ AND ALL MANKIND
DANCED TO THE EXACT BEAT ♪
[Echoing] ♪ AND AT NIGHT IT WAS
SAFE TO WALK DOWN THE STREET ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WAN...
WAN... WAN... ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
[Turntable Scratching]
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
[Laughing]
HI! I'M RUSH LIMBAUGH.
AND I'M AL SHARPTON.
AND WE'VE PUT ASIDE OUR
DIFFERENCES TO BRING YOU...
RUSH 'N' AL'S BIG &
LOUD MEN'S SHOP!
NOW, YOU MAY BE ASKING YOURSELF,
WHAT COULD I HAVE IN COMMON
WITH HITLER'S CHUNKY NEPHEW?
YES, AND WHAT COULD
I POSSIBLY HAVE IN
COMMON WITH THIS PORK
CHOP WITH A POMPADOUR?
WELL, WE BOTH HAVE AN
INSATIABLE APPETITE FOR POWER.
AND FOR PIZZA! ALONG WITH A TASTE
FOR CLOTHES WITH ELASTIC WAISTBANDS!
THAT'S RIGHT.
I SEE IT'S NOT JUST YOUR
POLITICS THAT LEAN TO THE RIGHT.
YES, IT'S TRUE... WE GET A
LITTLE LOUD AND OVERBEARING.
BUT YOU WON'T MIND
WHEN WE PUT YOU IN A SUIT...
FOR THE PRICE OF A GOOD PERM, A
CURL AND A CASE OF DARK AND LOVELY!
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, PILLSBURY
DOUGH BOY? RIGHT YOU ARE, RERUN!
HEY, HEY, HEY!
AND, UNLIKE "THE REVEREND," OUR
TAILORS ARE REAL MEN OF THE CLOTH.
LET SOME FEMINAZI TRY AND RESIST YOU
IN THESE ATTRACTIVE YET ROOMY SLACKS.
FEELS GOOD TO HAVE BOBO
AT YOUR FEET, DOESN'T IT, BRO?
NOW, TAKE A LOOK AT THIS BABY,
SPECIALLY DESIGNED BY ME
WITH TALENT ON LOAN FROM GOD.
AT ONLY 149.99, EVEN YOU LAZY
WELFARE FREELOADERS CAN AFFORD IT.
HE NORMALLY WEARS A HOOD
WITH THAT WHITE SUIT! THAT'S RIGHT.
AND IT DOESN'T MATTER
WHAT IF YOU'RE BIG OR LOUD,
'CAUSE WE GOT SIZES
FOR EVERYBODY...
LARGE, LARGER AND THE
NEW MALCOLM X-TRA LARGE.
NOW, DON'T WORRY ABOUT GETTING
FOOD ALL OVER YOUR NEW SUIT.
ALL OF RUSH 'N' AL'S
BIG & LOUD SUITS...
COME WITH OUR PATENTED
EATER'S SIDE AIR-BIB!
NOW, THAT'S CONVENIENCE!
I HAVE A DREAM...
THAT I WOULD ONE
DAY FIT IN A 32 WAIST.
KEEP DREAMING, PAL. GET YOUR PINK,
SWEATY WHITE HANDS OFF ME, BOBO.
OH! ARE YOU GONNA START
CRYING, RODNEY KING?
OH, LOOK! THERE GOES MARTINA
NAVRATILOVA KISSIN' ALL OVER YOUR MAMA!
SO MAYBE WE ALL CAN'T GET ALONG.
BUT WE CAN ALL GET A LONG COAT, A
SPORT JACKET AND TWO PAIRS OF TROUSERS...
FOR UNDER $200.
THAT'S RIGHT... UNDER $200.
AT RUSH 'N' AL'S, WE'VE GOT THE SUIT FOR
YOU, WHETHER YOU'RE WHITE OR WRONG.
AND WE'RE EASY TO FIND TOO. TAKE A
RIGHT ON MARTIN LUTHER KING BOULEVARD.
AND JUST KEEP HEADING WEST UNTIL YOU
SMELL THE TENDER, FLAKY APPLE FRITTERS...
LEADING YOU TO OUR
SPACIOUS OUTLET.
SO COME ON DOWN! TO
RUSH 'N' AL'S BIG & LOUD SHOP.
OUR STOMACHS ARE INFLATED!
BUT OUR PRICES ARE NOT!
COME ON! LET'S GO AND EAT!
HI, THIS IS KITTY SINGLETON
IN THE FOX NEWS ROOM.
JOINING US IS THE DIRECTOR OF HOUSING AND
URBAN DEVELOPMENT, MR. RICHARD SULLIVAN.
MR. SULLIVAN, HOW HAVE THE
RECENT BUDGET CUTS AFFECTED HUD?
TERRIBLY. OUR AGENCY WAS ONE OF
THE HARDEST HIT BY THE CUTBACKS,
LARGELY DUE TO THE NEGATIVE
PRESS OVER PAST SCANDALS,
WHICH IS TRAGIC BECAUSE
LOW-INCOME HOUSING
IS ESSENTIAL TO THE
WELFARE OF THE COUNTRY.
BY MAKING CUTBACKS
IN OUR DEPARTMENT,
YOU ARE REALLY SHUTTING THE
DOOR ON THE FUTURE OF OUR CHILDREN.
BUT WHAT REASSURANCES DO WE HAVE
THAT IMPROPRIETY WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN?
WELL, I GUESS ALL
YOU HAVE IS MY WORD.
SEE, WHEN THE TREASURY WAS FIRST SET
UP, THEY LACKED A MISSION STATEMENT...
UNCLEAR GOALS OF THE
DEPARTMENT THAT ALLOWED
THE SITUATION TO
GET WAY OUT OF HAND.
EMPLOYEES WERE NOT
REQUIRED TO GET PROJECTS
AND LOANS APPROVED
THROUGH PROPER CHANNELS.
BUT SINCE THAT TIME NEW
RULES HAVE BEEN IMPLEMENTED...
WHICH PROVIDE SAFEGUARDS
AGAINST THAT EVER HAPPENING AGAIN.
YOU MENTIONED A MISSION STATEMENT.
WHAT IS HUD'S MISSION STATEMENT?
WELL, I CAN'T TELL YOU
THE EXACT WORDING,
BUT WE ARE HERE TO
HELP PROVIDE LOW-INCOME
FAMILIES THE CHANCE
FOR AFFORDABLE HOUSING...
AND, IN THE PROCESS, HELP
DEVELOP THE INNER CITY.
HOW WILL THE CUTS IN
THE BUDGET HURT HUD?
KITTY, THE BUDGET CUTS
WERE BASED ON THE IDEA...
THAT THE INTEREST RATE WOULD
FALL BELOW FOUR PERCENT,
THUS LOWERING THE
NEED FOR HUD DOLLARS.
BUT THE INTEREST RATE
HAS REMAINED CONSTANT,
WHICH WILL DEPLETE THE FUNDS THAT
HUD HAS ALLOWED FOR LOW-INTEREST LOANS.
WHAT EXACTLY IS HUD DOING TO REVITALIZE
THE NATION'S CRIME-RIDDEN PUBLIC HOUSING?
WELL, AS YOU KNOW, THERE
ARE OVER 3.4 MILLION AMERICANS...
LIVING IN PUBLIC HOUSING,
AND HUD HAS DELEGATED
OVER $483,000,000...
FOR REBUILDING AND
SECURITY PURPOSES.
WE ARE HOPING TO IMPROVE
THE HOUSING DEPARTMENT...
SO THAT THE FAMILIES CAN ONCE
AGAIN FEEL SECURE IN THEIR OWN HOME.
BUT WON'T THE CUTBACKS BE
DETRIMENTAL TO PUBLIC HOUSING?
NO. REGARDLESS OF
PRESIDENTIAL BUDGET CUTS,
PUBLIC HOUSING IS OUR
NUMBER-ONE PRIORITY.
SO I WOULD LIKE TO REASSURE THE LOW-INCOME
TENANTS THAT EVEN THOUGH THE PRESIDENT...
IS RETREATING FROM
URBAN HOMESTEADING,
THE HOUSING DEPARTMENT
WILL NOT ABANDON THESE PEOPLE.
NOW, WHAT PROJECTS CAN WE EXPECT
TO SEE FROM HUD IN THE NEAR FUTURE?
OH, WELL, TO NAME ALL THE
GOALS OF HUD WOULD BE FUTILE...
CONSIDERING THE
TIME ALLOTTED HERE.
BUT I CAN TELL YOU THAT THE
NEW COMMISSION WAS DESIGNED...
NOT ONLY TO HELP THE CONSUMER,
BUT ALSO THE INFRASTRUCTURE
OF OUR INNER CITIES.
OKAY, NOW, YOU SPEAK ABOUT PUBLIC HOUSING,
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE FIRST-TIME HOME BUYER?
WITH PROPER EMPLOYEE VERIFICATION
WE CAN ENSURE THAT THOSE PEOPLE...
WILL BE FIRST ON THE LIST TO GET
HOMES WITH SUBSTANTIAL DOWN PAYMENTS.
WELL, I WANT TO THANK YOU
VERY MUCH, MR. SULLIVAN,
FOR TAKING TIME OUT OF YOUR BUSY
SCHEDULE AND JOINING US HERE TODAY.
IT'S BEEN MY PLEASURE. THIS HAS BEEN
KITTY SINGLETON, LIVE FOR FOX NEWS.
GOOD NIGHT.
♪♪ [R&B]
♪♪ [Ends]
[Announcer] AND NOW, A FEW
MINUTES WITH RANDY ROONEY.
DID YOU EVER NOTICE HOW MANY
MYTHS THERE ARE ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE?
WHY IS IT WHITE PEOPLE
SAY WE ALL LOOK ALIKE?
I GET GARY COLEMAN AND SHAQUILLE
O'NEAL CONFUSED ALL THE TIME.
AND WHY DO THEY ALWAYS TELL ME
SOME OF THEIR BEST FRIENDS ARE BLACK,
YET YOU NEVER SEEM TO SEE
THEM WITH THEIR BEST FRIENDS?
[Pager Beeping]
HOW COME WHEN A BLACK MAN'S
BEEPER GOES OFF, HE'S A WANTED FELON,
BUT WHEN A WHITE GUY'S BEEPER
GOES OFF, HE'S A-WANTED IN SURGERY?
AND WHY IS IT THAT EVERY GOVERNMENT
REPORT THAT COMES OUT ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE...
MAKES OUR FUTURE SEEM SO BLEAK?
WE'VE GOT HIGH BLOOD
PRESSURE, HIGH CHOLESTEROL,
HIGH TRIGLYCERIDES, HIGH SODIUM.
THE ONLY THING
THAT'S LOW IS OUR PAY.
[Siren Blaring]
DID YOU EVER NOTICE THAT THE
POLICE SEEM TO ALWAYS PULL YOU OVER...
WHEN YOU'RE HANGING
WITH THE HOMEBOYS?
THEIR IDEA OF A
WARNING IS A TASER BLAST.
AND THOSE TASER
DARTS HURT! OUCH!
THESE ARE ONE OF THOSE
FLESH-COLORED BAND-AIDS.
WHOSE FLESH ARE THEY
TALKING ABOUT ANYWAY?
CERTAINLY NOT OURS.
AND WHEN THE
POLICE PULL YOU OVER,
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS SEEM
TO FIT THE DESCRIPTION...
OF A SUSPECT
THEY'RE LOOKING FOR?
JEFFREY DAHMER WAS
WHI TO EAT M. KIND O
Y IS IT A SOUL
TRAIN? IF IT WERE, TH
BECAUSE DON CORNELIUS
FIT THE DESCRIPTION...
OF A SUSPECT
THEY'RE LOOKING FOR.
[Announcer] AND THAT WAS A FEW
MOMENTS OF DISSING WITH RANDY ROONEY.
WHAT'LL YOU HAVE,
PAL? UH, UH, UH...
HOW MUCH... HOW MUCH... HOW
MUCH FOR A BEER? UH, DOLLAR-50.
OOD LORD! THAT'S A LOT
OF MONEY FOR A BEER.
UH, GOOD LORD! THAT DON'T
HOW SOUND TOO LIGHT TO ME.
UH, UH, WH-WHY DON'T YOU WRING OUT
THE DIRTY BAR RAG IN MY MOUTH? YEAH.
UH, I CAN'T DO THAT, MAN.
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. UH, UH, HOW
MUCH FOR A VIRGIN DAIQUIRI?
- UH, THAT'LL BE 2.50.
- 2.50! GOOD LORD!
HOW 'BOUT I GIVE YOU 30 CENTS, AND
YOU GIVE ME A KOOL-AID WITH SIX KIDS?
I CAN'T DO IT, MAN.
HOW 'BOUT... HOW 'BOUT
WINE? HOW 'BOUT SOME WINE?
- THREE DOLLARS.
- THREE BUCKS! GOOD LORD!
HOW 'BOUT I GIVE YOU 32 CENTS,
AND YOU GIVE ME A RUM
LIFESAVER AND A GLASS OF WATER?
LOOK, MAN, I POURED
A BEER EARLIER.
YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND
DRINK THAT, BUT WHEN YOU
FINISHED, YOU GOT TO
GET OUT OF HERE, OKAY?
THANKS A LOT, MAN. THANKS
A LOT. HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!
HOW MUCH FOR
THEM PISTACHIO NUTS?
PISTACHIOS ARE A DOLLAR, BUDDY.
A DOLLAR FOR PISTACHIO
NUTS! GOOD LORD!
HOW 'BOUT I GIVE YOU 14 CENTS, YOU LET
ME SUCK THEM RIGHT OFF YOUR FINGERS?
LOOK, BUDDY. DON'T
GET SMART WITH ME.
I'LL HAVE YOU THROWN OUT OF HERE, ALL
RIGHT? DON'T MAKE ME CALL THE BOUNCER.
HEY, HEY. THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT. OKAY.
HEY, LADIES. HOW YOU
DOIN'? WHAT YOU LISTENIN' TO?
WE'RE PLAYIN' SOME BELL BIV
DEVOE. BELL BIV DEVOE, HUH?
UH, HOW MUCH IT COST? HOW MUCH
IT COST? THREE DOLLARS A SONG.
THREE DOLLARS A SONG? GOOD LORD!
HOW 'BOUT I GIVE YOU 25 CENTS,
AND YOU PLAY SOME RALPH TRESVANT?
THEY DON'T EVEN
HAVE RALPH TRESVANT.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
QUIT BOTHERING US?
LOOK, BUDDY, WHY
DON'T YOU GET AWAY FROM
THE JUKEBOX AND STOP
BOTHERING MY CUSTOMERS?
WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME ANOTHER
DRINK, AND I'LL JUST BOTHER YOU?
DON'T PUSH IT.
GOOD MAN. GOOD MAN.
BOY, YOU SURE LOOK GOOD
TONIGHT, AND I SURE AM HORNY.
UH, HOW MUCH IT COST
FOR SOME COMPANY?
FIFTY BUCKS. LET'S GO. FIFTY
BUCKS! GOOD LORD! FIFTY BUCKS.
THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.
NOW, WHAT DO I GET FOR THAT?
I'LL GO HOME WITH YOU AND TAKE
YOU TO THE MOON, OKAY? LET'S GO.
HOW 'BOUT I GIVE YOU $13, AND
YOU TAKE ME TO EL SEGUNDO?
FIFTY BUCKS.
FIFTY BUCKS! THAT'S
A LOT OF MONEY.
OKAY, HOW 'BOUT I GIVE YOU EIGHT
DOLLARS, AND YOU LET ME SMELL YOUR BRA?
LOOK, I TOLD YOU 50 BUCKS, OKAY?
OKAY, OKAY. HOW
MUCH WOULD IT COST...
HOW MUCH WOULD IT COST ME IF I WAS
TO RUB UP AGAINST YOUR LEG LIKE A DOG?
SEVENTY BUCKS. SEVENTY
BUCKS! GOOD LORD!
OH! OH! HOW 'BOUT I GIVE YOU FOUR
DOLLARS, AND YOU GIVE ME A SCOOBY SNACK?
LOOK... LOOK, SWAMP THING. WHY DON'T
YOU JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE?
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY! IS THIS
CREEP BOTHERIN' YOU? YES, HE IS.
HEY, MAN, LIKE I TOLD
YOU... I WARNED YOU, DIDN'T I?
SNOOKY! GET THIS
GUY OUT OF HERE.
WITH PLEASURE. WHO'S SNOOKY?
I'M GONNA PUNCH YOU
INTO NEXT WEEK, BUDDY.
WHY DON'T YOU PUNCH ME INTO
WEDNESDAY? THAT'S PAY DAY!
HEY! HEY! SNOOKY! SNOOKY!
♪♪ [R&B]
♪♪ [Soloing]
♪♪ [Ends]
YEAH, RIGHT THIS WAY, NOW.
UH, EXCUSE ME, BUT THAT
GIRL'S SITTING IN MY SEAT.
NOW, HOLD UP, UNCLE
REMUS. LOOK, SHE'S
SITTIN' THERE 'CAUSE I
TOLD HER TO SIT THERE.
- BUT I GOT A TICKET.
- I DON'T CARE IF YOU
GOT A TICKET.
I WANT TO HIT ON HER. I DON'T WANT TO
HIT ON YOU. NOW, SIT DOWN, BIG DADDY KANE.
YEAH, S... SIT DOWN,
BIG-BIG-BIG DADDY RED.
HEY, HEY, HOLD UP, J.J.
WALKER AND CAROL BURNETT.
[Cackling] WHAT'D YOU SAY?
HI, I'M NANCY AXELROD.
THIS IS MY ASSISTANT JORDAN.
I CALLED EARLY FOR V.I.P. SEATS.
OH, YOU CALLED FOR V.I.P. SEATS? SO YOU
SUPPOSED TO BE SITTIN' OVER THERE, RIGHT?
THAT'S RIGHT, YEAH. NO, THAT'S
WRONG. YOU AIN'T ON THE LIST.
- YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A LIST.
- THAT'S WHY YOU AIN'T
ON THE LIST.
YEAH, I GUESS... I GUESS WE-WE-WE
CALL YOU LISTLESS, M-MUPPET MAN.
ALL RIGHT, NOW, HOLD
ON JUST A SECOND HERE.
I HAPPEN TO BE MARSHA
WARFIELD'S AGENT, OKAY?
MARSHA WARFIELD. SO I SUGGEST YOU
TREAT US WITH A LITTLE MORE RESPECT!
I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE MARCIA BRADY'S
AGENT. YOU'RE NOT GETTING THOSE SEATS.
WELL, THIS IS ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLE!
THE PRODUCER IS GONNA HEAR ABOUT THIS!
THE PRODUCER, ALL RIGHT? GET OUT
OF HERE. WHAT ARE YOU? A PARROT?
HEY, YO, MAN! THIS IS WHAT
WE USED TO DO BACK IN THE DAY.
♪♪ [Rhythmic
Sounds] ♪♪ [Vocalizing]
[Distorted] ♪ MORE
BOUNCE TO THE OUNCE ♪
YO, YO, YO, HOLD UP, HOLD UP.
CAN'T YOU SEE THE SIGN? AIN'T
NOBODY ALLOWED ON THE STAGE.
YEAH. Y-YOU CAN'T READ?
R-READING'S FUNDAMENTAL.
YOU BETTER GET
H-HOOKED ON PHONICS.
I CAN READ THE SIGN. I'M
THE PRODUCER OF THE SHOW.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? I WISH I
COULD LET YA BACK, MR. PRODUCER,
BUT I HAPPEN TO THINK
THAT YOU'RE A LIAR.
LIAR, PANTS ON
FIRE. B-BOLOGNA LOG.
- ALL RIGHT, LOOK, BOYS...
- OH! WHOO! BOYS!
IT'S ON, IT'S ON. AFTER THE
RODNEY KING STUFF, WHOO!
ALL RIGHT. LISTEN UP, YOU TWO.
GET BACK TO WORK. THAT'S AN ORDER.
YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT? BIG
BOY EAT THE "J" OFF OF JANUARY.
I GUESS YOU NEED DIRECTIONS
TO YOUR SEAT, MY SISTER?
NO, I'M MARSHA WARFIELD. I JUST
CAME TO GET A FEEL FOR THE CROWD.
[Laughing] [Muttering]
OKAY, ANYWAY, SO YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO
GO TELL SOME JOKES AND THAT TYPE OF STUFF.
THE CROWD'LL BE LAUGHING AND ALL THAT
STUFF, HUH? THEY'LL GO, "HEE-HEE, HO-HO."
WHY DO I GET THE FEELING YOU TWO
WENT TO SCHOOL ON THE LITTLE BUS?
HOW'D SHE KNOW?
OH, YEAH, I KNOW YOU NOW. YOU WAS
ON THAT SHOW NIGHT COURT, RIGHT?
YOU USED TO HANG AROUND,
LIKE, HARRY AND DAN AND ALL THAT.
YO, WHO WAS THAT BIG
BALD-HEADED GUY? BULL.
YOU DAMN RIGHT IT'S BULL! I DON'T
BELIEVE YOU NO MARSHA WARFIELD!
YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.
AIN'T ANYBODY SEEN YOU ON THE BACK
PAGE OF JET OR IN THE DAMN MIDDLE.
LOOK, AMOS AND BURRHEAD,
IF YOU DON'T MIND...
I DO MIND!
THAT'S RIGHT, AND A M-MIND IS
A T-TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE.
DON'T YOU TWO HAVE A
CAR TO JACK SOMEWHERE?
HOW DID SHE KNOW WE
HAD A CAR... HEY, LOOK HERE.
IF YOU WAS A MAN, I'D BE BUSTIN'
YOUR ASS RIGHT ABOUT NOW.
IF YOU WAS A MAN, I'D LET YOU.
IT'S ON!
IT'S ON! EXCUSE ME!
MS. WARFIELD, IS THERE A
PROBLEM HERE? YES, THERE IS.
YEAH, TH-THERE IS. THERE'S
YOUR PROBLEM RIGHT THERE!
- IS THAT TRUE?
- NO, THERE AIN'T
NO PROBLEM, MAN.
I WAS JUST GONNA HELP MS.
WARFIELD GET BACKSTAGE.
LET'S GO, MS. WARFIELD. I'LL
ESCORT YOU TO THE GREEN ROOM.
THANK YOU. HERE'S A QUARTER.
GO BUY YOURSELF A PERSONALITY.
YEAH, AND WITH THE CHANGE,
BUY YOURSELF SOME CLASS!
AND L-LEARN HOW TO
M-MANAGE YOUR EMOTIONS.
UH, UH, I WAS JUST IN
THE GREEN ROOM, 'CAUSE...
YEAH. I'M GONNA PUT YOU IN THE
BLACK AND BLUE ROOM! THAT'S WHAT'S UP!
[Laughs] LET'S DO
LIKE OLD SCHOOL.
♪♪ [Rhythmic
Sounds] ♪♪ [Vocalizing]
COME ON, PUT YOUR HANDS
TOGETHER RIGHT NOW!
PUT YOUR HANDS
TOGETHER! KEEP IT GOING!
LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR THE GURU'S
JAZZAMATAZZ ALONG WITH N'DEA DAVENPORT.
YOU KNOW IT!
♪♪ [R&B]
YEAH, BABY. LISTEN.
I WANT YOU TO TRUST ME. ♪ I
WANT TO TRUST YOU, BABY ♪
YEAH. ♪ I WANT TO
TRUST YOU BABY ♪
♪ I WANT TO TRUST YOU BABY ♪
♪ I WANT TO TRUST YOU, BABY ♪
♪ UH-UH ♪
LISTEN. CHECK THIS OUT.
ALL RIGHT.
[Rapping] ♪ BABY, WHY DON'T
YA HONEY, WHY WON'T YA ♪
♪ ACCEPT THE FACT THAT IT'S
NOT JUST AN ACT THAT I CARE ♪
♪ SO PLEASE LET ME
SHARE SPECIAL MOMENTS ♪
♪ MOMENTS SO RARE CHECK IT OUT ♪
♪ IF I COULD GIVE YOU THE
WORLD YOU KNOW I'D DO IT ♪
♪ EVERYTHING AT YOUR
FEET AIN'T NOTHIN' TO IT ♪
♪ BUT IT'S HARD, SWEETHEART
AND IT'S ROUGH OUT HERE ♪
♪ BUT I DOUBT THERE IS
ANYBODY ELSE FOR ME ♪
- ♪ TRUST ME, LOVE YOU ♪
- ♪ I WANT YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME, NEED YOU ♪
♪ I NEED YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME I WANT YOU
♪ ♪ I WANT YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME ♪
YEAH.
♪ TRUST ME, LOVE YOU ♪
♪ WANT YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME, NEED YOU ♪
♪ NEED YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME I WANT YOU ♪
♪ TRUST ME ♪
♪ THE THINGS I FEEL
THEY ARE FOR REAL ♪
♪ I'M PAST THE POINT OF
DWELLING ON THE SEX APPEAL ♪
♪ MAD CHICKS SWEAT ME BUT
I DESIRE YOUR WOMANNESS ♪
♪ DUDE'S SWEAT YOU
BUT I'M THE BEST ♪
♪ LISTEN, WE COULD BUILD A
FUTURE TOGETHER ♪ ♪ OH ♪
♪ NO, DARLING I WOULD
NEVER SOUP YOU UP NEVER ♪
♪ I'M BUGGIN' OUT OVER THE
THOUGHT OF YOU LEAVIN' ♪
♪ TRY TO STEP TO YOU BUT
NOW YOU'RE RETREATIN' ♪
♪ TRUST ME, LOVE YOU ♪
♪ WANT YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME, NEED YOU ♪
♪ NEED YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME, WANT YOU ♪
♪ I WANT YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME ♪
♪ TRUST ME, LOVE YOU ♪
♪ I WANT YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME, NEED YOU ♪
♪ I NEED YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME, WANT YOU ♪
♪ TRUST ME ♪
♪ I DO BELIEVE YOU
DO CARE ♪ ♪ WORD ♪
♪ TELL YOU THE TRUTH I
AM SCARED ♪ ♪ YEAH ♪
♪ SOME FREAKY PEOPLE
OUT THERE ♪ YOU KNOW?
I KNOW. ♪ TRUST ME, LOVE YOU ♪
♪ WANT YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME, NEED YOU ♪
♪ TRUST ME, WANT YOU TRUST ME ♪
♪ I SENT YOU FLOWERS THERE
I SAT FOR HOURS THERE ♪
♪ CONTEMPLATED THE
STATE OF OUR AFFAIRS ♪
♪ BUT I FIND THERE IS NO
WAY OUT I'M IN A LOVE LOCK ♪
♪ THE FUNNY THING ABOUT IT I
DON'T WANT TO EVEN STOP IT ♪
♪ TRUST ME, LOVE YOU ♪
♪ WANT YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME, NEED YOU ♪
♪ I NEED YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME, WANT YOU ♪
♪ WANT YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME ♪
♪ TRUST ME, LOVE YOU ♪
♪ WANT YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME, NEED YOU ♪
♪ NEED YOU TO... ♪
♪ TRUST ME, I WANT
YOU TRUST ME ♪
♪ NOW YOU KNOW THE FLAVA IT'S
NOT ABOUT THE STUFF I GAVE YA ♪
♪ AND MY BEHAVIOR
IS BASED ON STRONG ♪
♪ FEELINGS I HAVE OF YOU
AND ME IT'S LIKE A BOND ♪
♪ TREASURE NOT TO BE CORNY ♪♪