In Living Color (1990–1994): Season 4, Episode 13 - Capital Hillbillies - full transcript

♪ COME AND LISTEN TO THE
STORY 'BOUT A MAN NAMED BILL ♪

♪ HICK RAZORBACK
WITH A DESTINY TO FILL ♪

♪ BUT 20 YEARS BEFORE HE
WOULD TAKE THE OATH AND CREED ♪

♪ HE DODGED VIETNAM AND
HE TOKED A LITTLE WEED ♪

REEFER, THAT IS. MARY
JANE. DIDN'T INHALE.

♪ WELL, THE NEXT THING YOU
KNOW BILL'S THE HEAD OF ARKANSAS ♪

♪ FIDDLIN' WITH THE BUDGET
AND A HONEY FROM HEE HAW ♪

♪ THEY SAID, HEY, BILL YOU
SHOULD BE THE CHIEF EXEC ♪

♪ SO HE BALANCED OFF THE
TICKET WITH ANOTHER REDNECK ♪

GORE, THAT IS.
SENATOR. TENNESSEE.

THE CAPITOL HILLBILLIES!



♪ SO NOW IT'S TIME TO SAY
GOOD-BYE TO BUSH AND ALL HIS KIN ♪

♪ SO TAKE THAT DOG AND MILLIE
TOO 'CAUSE BILL'S A-SWEARIN' IN ♪

♪ HE'D BETTER WORK SOME
MIRACLES ON THIS ECONOMY ♪

♪ AND NOT DO TO THE COUNTRY
WHAT HE DOES TO HILLARY ♪

JENNIFER TOO. TAKE
YOUR CLOTHES OFF.

Y'ALL COME AGAIN, NOW, YA HEAR?

♪♪

HOW YOU LIVIN'? WHAT?

HOW YOU LIVIN'? WHAT?

HOW YOU LIVIN'? ♪
IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ ANYTHING YOU WANT IS UP
TO YOU ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ YOU FOR ME AND ME FOR
YOU ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ YOU CAN BE ANYTHING YOU
WANNA BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪



♪ LET'S TAKE A TRIP AND
SIP ON A DREAM ♪ ♪ YEAH ♪

♪ GLIDE WITH THE GUIDE ON A
FUNKY SCENE ♪ ♪ ALL RIGHT ♪

♪ HERE COMES ANOTHER ONE OF
THOSE FUNKY, FUNNY MO' MONEY SHOWS ♪

♪ A CAST FOR LAUGHS
AND TALENTED ROLES ♪

♪ AND SISTERS WITH TWISTERS
FOR YOU BEEN LOOKIN' LISTENER ♪

♪ IT SEEMS YOU DON'T BELIEVE SO
YOU CAN BELIEVE WHAT I CONVINCE YA ♪

♪ SOME BOOTY TO YOUR SHORT
AND THOUGHT WE'LL MAKE IT SNAPPY ♪

♪ WITH JOKES AND POKES AT
FOLKS TO KEEP YOU HAPPY ♪

♪ NO NEED TO HOLD
YOUR REMOTE CONTROL ♪

♪ CHILL THIS SHOW'S GOT SOUL ♪

♪ ALL ABOARD, ALL ABOARD
THE TRAIN NEVER TROUBLES ♪

♪ YOU'D BETTER
SNUGGLE UP COUPLE UP ♪

♪ ON THE DOUBLE-DUB-DOUBLE ♪
♪ YEAH ♪

♪ IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE BUT SOME
OF THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE ♪

♪ SO, FELLAS, GRAB YOUR GIRL
TELL HER THAT YOU LOVE HER ♪

♪ 'CAUSE THAT'S THE WAY YOU'RE LIVIN'
WHEN YOU'RE LIVIN' IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ GO, GO, GO, GO
GO, GO, GO, GO ♪

♪ GO, GO ♪♪

HEY! HOW Y'ALL DOIN'?

IT'S ME... BENITA
BUTRELL. MM-HMM.

I'M JUST HERE GETTIN'
MY ANNUAL CHECKUP.

OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME,
'CAUSE I'M THE PICTURE OF HEALTH.

THAT'S 'CAUSE I START OFF EVERY
DAY WITH A BIG GLASS OF PRUNE JUICE.

MM-HMM. MISS BENITA'S GOT MORE
MOVEMENTS THAN BEETHOVEN'S FIFTH SYMPHONY.

WELL, LOOKEE HERE. IF IT
AIN'T GRETCHEN KABUNKIE.

HEY, GIRL, I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE
HERE. YOU'RE IN PERFECT HEALTH.

YOU GOT A FIGURE ANY
WOMAN WOULD DIE FOR.

THAT'S 'CAUSE IF THEY HAD A FIGURE
LIKE THAT, THEY'D KILL THEMSELVES.

THAT WOMAN'S SO SKINNY, THEY HAD TO
TIE KNOTS IN HER LEGS TO MAKE KNEES.

MM-HMM. PEOPLE IN SOMALIA
ARE SENDING HER FOOD.

BUT I AIN'T ONE TO GOSSIP, SO
YOU AIN'T HEARD THAT FROM ME.

WELL, LOOKEE HERE.
IT'S DR. FLETCHER.

HOW YOU DOIN', DR. FLETCHER?
WHAT A WONDERFUL DOCTOR YOU ARE.

YOU GOT THE BEST PRACTICE
IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

MALPRACTICE, THAT IS. MM-HMM.

HE'S MADE MORE VEGETABLES
THAN THE JOLLY GREEN GIANT.

THE MAN'S SO MEAN, HE GIVES A RECTAL
EXAM WITH A FREDDY KRUEGER GLOVE.

WHY, LOOKEE HERE.
IF IT AIN'T MR. FISHER.

MR. FISHER, I'M SORRY
TO SEE YOU IN PAIN.

OH, BOY. I KNOW YOUR WIFE MUST
BE BESIDES HERSELF. MMM, MMM, MMM.

THAT'S 'CAUSE SHE CAUGHT HIM
SLEEPIN' WITH SOMEONE BESIDES HERSELF.

THAT MAN WEARS A
STEEL-BELTED CONDOM. MM-HMM.

LAST TIME SHE CAUGHT HIM CHEATIN',
SHE MESSED UP HIS FACE SO BAD,

IT LOOKED LIKE YOU OUGHTA
DIP SOME DORITOS IN IT.

OH, HERE COMES JAN YOUNG
AND HER BRAND-NEW BUNDLE.

LET ME GET A PEEK AT
THE PRECIOUS LITTLE THING.

OH, HE'S CUTE AS A BUG IN A RUG.

MORE LIKE A MAGGOT IN A DIAPER.

THEY CAN'T LET THAT BABY PLAY IN THE
SANDBOX, 'CAUSE THE CAT KEEPS BURYING IT.

OH, MISS ABBOT, LOOK AT YOU.

YOU STILL GOT YOUR
JAWS WIRED SHUT?

OOH, I REALLY ADMIRE THAT.
YOU GOT A WHOLE LOT OF GUTS.

GOT A WHOLE LOT OF GUTS, A WHOLE
LOT OF BUTTS, AND A WHOLE LOT OF CHINS.

MM-HMM. IF SHE'S
ON A LIQUID DIET,

THAT WOMAN MUST
BE JUICIN' BUNDT CAKES.

SHE'S SO FAT, AFTER SEX,
SHE SMOKES A TURKEY.

DOCTOR! DOCTOR, COME
QUICK! MY-MY GRANDMOTHER!

WHAT'S HAPPENIN'? WHAT'S
HAPPENIN'? WHO IS IT?

I THINK SHE PASSED OUT. THAT'S MISS
JENKINS FROM THE HOPKINS PROJECTS.

OH, LORD! OH, NO! DON'T LET
NOTHIN' HAPPEN TO MISS JENKINS!

OH, DON'T LET NOTHIN' HAPPEN TO
MISS JENKINS! TAKE ME! TAKE ME! TAKE ME!

NO, YOU DON'T WANNA
TAKE HER NOW! OH!

LOOK, I THINK SHE'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GET HER TO THE HOSPITAL.

COME ON. OH!

WHEW! WHEW! WE ALMOST
LOST MISS JENKINS, HONEY.

THAT WAS A CLOSE SHAVE. OH!

AND, SPEAKING OF CLOSE
SHAVES, SHE COULD USE ONE.

THAT WOMAN'S GOT SO MUCH FACIAL HAIR,
SHE LOOKS LIKE CHEWBACCA WITH A WEAVE.

BUT I AIN'T ONE TO GOSSIP, SO
YOU AIN'T HEARD THAT FROM ME.

HI. I'M AMY FISHER. YOU
KNOW, THE LONG ISLAND LOLITA.

AND THIS IS JOEY
BUTTAFUOCO OVER HERE. HEY!

JOEY BUTTAFUOCO OVER HERE!

HEY, GIRLS, ARE YOU A WHORE?
ARE YOU GOOD WITH A HANDGUN?

DO YOU LIKE TO
HAVE SEX IN A CAR?

ARE YOU AS DUMB AS DIP, BUT YOU
STILL WANNA MAKE A LOT OF MONEY?

THEN TAKE AMY'S SPECIAL
BANG FOR YOUR BUCKS SEMINAR.

TELL 'EM, PRINCESS.
THREE SIMPLE STEPS.

ONE, YOU GET YOURSELF
A REALLY SEXY GUY.

HEY. JOEY BUTTAFUOCO OVER HERE.

BUT TO LAND YOURSELF
A REALLY SEXY GUY,

FIRST YOU GOTTA GET
YOURSELF A WHOLE LOT OF HAIR.

ANYTHING LESS THAN TWO
FEET AIN'T REALLY SEXY.

RIGHT, JOEY? JOEY
BUTTAFUOCO OVER HERE!

YOU GET YOURSELF A GUN,
AND YOU FIND THIS GUY'S WIFE.

THEN YOU JUST POINT AND
SHOOT. BADA-BING, BADA-BANG!

YOU SELL OFF YOUR MOVIE
RIGHTS, YOUR PAPERBACK RIGHTS.

THEN YOU LOOK FOR
THE NEW SITCOM ON FOX...

THE BUTTAFUOCOS OVER HERE!

HEY, SURE, I'M GONNA SPEND A
COUPLE OF YEARS IN THE SLAMMER,

BUT I'M ALREADY ELIGIBLE
FOR PAROLE IN '95 OVER HERE.

AND ALL THIS MONEY SPREAD OUT
WITH THREE YEARS IN THE CLINK,

THAT WORKS OUT TO, PER YEAR...

OH, SHE'S WORKIN' IT OUT!

I GOTTA PUT SOMETHIN'...
WELL, A WHOLE LOT OF MONEY.

SO, TAKE MY SEMINAR.

YEAH, RIGHT. I TOOK AMY'S SEMINAR,
AND NOBODY BOUGHT MY RIGHTS.

ALL I DID WAS GO
STRAIGHT TO JAIL.

OOPS. I ALMOST FORGOT
THE MOST IMPORTANT STEP.

MAKE SURE THAT YOU'RE WHITE.

YEAH, 'CAUSE HOLLYWOOD
ONLY BUYS STORIES...

ABOUT WHITE PEOPLE KILLING
EACH OTHER OVER HERE!

HEY, DUH! NOW, GIVE
ME A KISS HERE, JOEY!

YOU COME HERE, YOU!
OH, YEAH! OH, YEAH!

HEY, JOEY! WHAT ARE YOU
KISSIN' THAT WHORE FOR?

HEY, MARY JO. I
WASN'T KISSIN' HER.

I WAS, UH, GIVIN' HER
C.P.R. OVER HERE.

GIVE ME A BREAK. THAT'S MY JOEY,

ALWAYS TRYING TO
HELP PEOPLE OVER HERE.

ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY BREAK IT
UP. VISITING DAY IS OVER OVER HERE.

SO DIAL 555-LO-LITER.

I'LL GET YOU MORE
BANG FOR YOUR BUCK.

BADA-BING, BADA-BANG.
IT'S JUST THAT SIMPLE.

CALL ME.

- OVER HERE?
- OVER HERE.

♪♪

♪ YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO ♪

♪ YO, DIAMONDS ON THE
WRIST GIRL, POP LA CRISP ♪

♪ I'M THE KING OF THE
CLUB I'M THE ONE YOU LOVE ♪

♪ DIAMONDS ON THE
WRIST, GIRL POP LA CRISP ♪

♪ I'M THE KING OF THE
CLUB I'M THE ONE YOU LOVE ♪

♪ DIAMONDS ON THE
WRIST, GIRL POP LA CRISP ♪

♪ I'M THE KING OF THE
CLUB I'M THE ONE YOU LOVE ♪

♪ DIAMONDS ON THE
WRIST, GIRL POP LA CRISP ♪

♪ I'M THE KING OF THE
CLUB I'M THE ONE YOU LOVE ♪

♪ RAP SUPERSTAR AT THE BAR ♪

♪ I'M LOOKIN' FOR THE
CHICK WITH THE RIPPED SIX ♪

♪ I'M SLICK BLACK 600
'NEATH THE WINDOWS ♪

♪ KEEP MY ENGINE RUNNING
WHEN YOUR GIRL COMES RUNNIN' ♪

♪ DIAMONDS ON THE
WRIST, GIRL POP LA CRISP ♪

♪ I'M THE KING OF THE
CLUB I'M THE ONE YOU LOVE ♪

♪ CHECK IT ♪ ♪ DIAMONDS ON
THE WRIST, GIRL POP LA CRISP ♪

♪ I'M THE KING OF THE
CLUB I'M THE ONE YOU LOVE ♪

WHAT'S UP? YO,
YO, YO, WHAT'S UP?

GOOD EVENING, GHETTO
BOYS AND GHOULS.

AND WELCOME TO MY CRIB.

HORROR YOU DOIN'?

I KILL ME! GET IT?

KILL?

I'M JUST DYING TO BRING
YOU ANOTHER STORY...

FROM THE BLACKEST
DEPTHS OF TERROR.

NOW, SOME FOLKS
TURN WHITE WITH FEAR.

OTHERS HISS-PANIC.

PANIC! HISPANIC!

SOME EVEN SUFFER
FROM HALLUCIN-ASIANS.

HALLUCIN-ASIANS!

I'M A RIOT. NOT MY
AFRICAN-AMERICAN BROTHERS, THOUGH.

THEY'RE ALWAYS CHILLING,

LIKE MY GOOD FRIEND...

VANILLA ICE.

JUST AS COLD AS HIS
RECORD SALES, HUH?

THAT'S FOR THAT CORNY-ASS MOVIE.

TONIGHT, I SCARED
UP A TALE OF FRIGHT...

THAT ISN'T YOUR USUAL HOLLYWOOD
NIGHTMARE ON CRACKER STREET.

THIS MONSTER-PIECE OF A
FRIGHT WAS MADE BY BROTHERS...

FOR BROTHERS, SALAAM ALAIKUM.

SO LOCK YOUR DOORS
AND TURN OFF THE LIGHTS...

AND PREPARE TO GET CURDLED,

BLOOD.

BLOOD!

OH, I'M SO EXCITED.
I AM TOO, BABY.

COME HERE, GIRL.

LOOKEE HERE, GIRL.
HOME, SWEET HOME.

HONEY, I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE
THAT WE GOT THIS PLACE SO CHEAP.

THIS IS NICE. WE CAN REALLY
FIX THIS PLACE UP. I THINK SO.

MAKE IT REAL
NICE... HEY, HEY, HEY.

BUT, FIRST, WE GOTTA
GET THIS DAMN DOOR FIXED.

DID YOU HEAR THAT? I THINK WE GOT
SOME FREAKS LIVIN' NEXT DOOR TO US.

YOU KNOW, I WAS
GONNA TELL YOU...

WE GOT SOME SUPER FREAKS
UP IN HERE. WHOO! I HEAR THAT.

HEY, MAYBE IT'S JAMES
BROWN. YOU CRAZY.

THERE'S SOMEBODY AT THE DOOR.

KILL HIM. LOOK, MAN, WE DIDN'T
ORDER NO GINSU KNIVES, MAN.

YOU NEED TO GET YOURSELF RIGHT UP OFF
MY PORCH. I CAN'T EVEN GET IN MY OWN HOUSE!

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?
CALM YOURSELF. CALM YOURSELF.

IT'S ALL RIGHT, HONEY. I'LL BE RIGHT
BACK. I'M JUST GONNA HANG UP MY COAT.

NO, YOU WON'T!

YOU KNOW WHAT, GIRL? ONE THING ABOUT
THIS PLACE... THE RATS SURE ARE SMALLER.

A LOT SMALLER.

GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

THIS IS MY HOUSE!
THE HELL IT IS!

WE TOOK OUT A V.A. LOAN AND
BORROWED $3,000 FOR THE DOWN PAYMENT.

THEN FEEL THE
BURNING FIRES OF HELL!

NO, WHAT YOU DO IS, YOU
PREPARE TO GET YOUR BUTT KICKED.

YEAH, YEAH. KEEP
IT UP. KEEP IT UP.

I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHIN' TO
HOLLER ABOUT. KEEP IT UP!

YOU KNOW WHAT? MARTIN
IS COMIN' ON IN TWO MINUTES.

YOU NEED TO HUSH UP SO
I CAN SEE SOME SHENENEH.

SHUT THE HELL UP!

MY HOUSE. AW, HECK.

I GUESS WE CAN FIND ANOTHER
HOUSE TO BE OUR GATEWAY TO HELL.

COME ON!

THAT WAS... THAT WAS FRIGHT...

THAT WAS FRIGHTFULLY
BRIEF, WASN'T IT?

BUT, THEN AGAIN, MY PEOPLE DON'T FEAR
NOTHIN' THAT GOES BUMP IN THE NIGHT,

UNLESS IT'S COMIN' THROUGH
THE WINDOW WITH A SHOTGUN.

JOIN ME NEXT TIME FOR
ANOTHER TERROR-IFIC STORY...

WHEN I BRING YOU FRIDAY
THE FIRST: DAY OF THE RENT.

PEACE!

ON...

THOSE BEAN COUNTERS
WHO WERE DOING THAT...

IF I HAD APPOINTED WHITE
MEN TO THOSE POSITIONS.

I'M BACK!

THOUGHT YOU COULD SHAKE ME,
DIDN'T YA? WELL, LET ME ASK YOU THIS:

HOW YOU GONNA INAUGURATE
YOURSELVES A NEW PRESIDENT...

IF GOOD OLD ROSS PEROT DONE
BOUGHT UP ALL THE AIRTIME?

AND THAT'S JUST WHAT I
DONE RIGHT NOW. GO AHEAD.

FLIP THE CHANNELS.
SEE IF I AIN'T LYIN'.

UNLESS SOMEBODY FINDS ME
A GOVERNMENT JOB BUT QUICK!

♪♪

I'M STILL HERE. SAY, FOLKS,

YOU EVER NOTICE HOW THERE'S NO BLACKS,
NO JEWS, NO PUERTO RICANS ON THE JETSONS?

FUTURE LOOKS PRETTY
BRIGHT, DON'T IT?

NOW, COME ON, NOW.

I DON'T TELL YOU PEOPLE
HOW TO DIG DITCHES.

IT'S JUST COMMON SENSE.
I GOT CHARTS TO PROVE IT.

I'LL COME... I'LL
COME OUT THERE!

HELLO, CALLER. YOU'RE ON
THE ROSS PEROT LOVE LINE.

WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT
YOU'RE WEARIN'. I'M ALL EARS.

NOW, THAT'S DOWNRIGHT
SEXY. UH-HUH. UH-HUH.

YEP, I CAN ALMOST
FEEL YOU RIGHT NOW.

DRILL FOR OIL. WE'RE GONNA
NEED RENTED AIR TO CAP THIS ONE.

YOU WANNA KNOW MY FAVORITE
POSITION? WELL, I'LL TELL YOU.

IT'S A CABINET
POSITION, DAG NABBIT!

♪♪

♪ ALL I WANNA DO IS ZOOM-A-ZOOM
ZOOM-ZOOM AND A POOM-POOM ♪

IT'S JUST THAT SIMPLE.
D.J. ROSS IN THE HOUSE!

SEE? I CAN GET DOWN
WITH YOU PEOPLE.

BUT, I'M WARNING YA, WHEN I
COME BACK FROM THIS COMMERCIAL,

I'M STILL GONNA BE HERE.

I'M GONNA BE ALL OVER YOU LIKE
MIKE TYSON AT A BEAUTY PAGEANT.

NOW, "SHAMON." "SHAMON," NOW.

♪ I SAID WAVE YOUR
HANDS IN THE AIR ♪♪

♪♪ WELCOME TO
YOU BET YOUR CAREER,

THE SHOW THAT GIVES
AIRTIME TO FORMER STARS...

WITH BIG EGOS AND BAD JUDGMENT.

FOR EXAMPLE, HERE'S
YOUR HOST, BILL COSBY!

THANK YOU. YES, YES, YES.

OKAY, CUT THAT... STOP!
CUT THAT... THANK YOU.

NOW, YOU KNOW THE
RULES OF THE GAME.

I COME OUT AND I
MAKE SILLY FACES...

WHILE THE CONTESTANTS
SUCK UP TO ME...

WHILE I MAKE SILLY
FACES, OR ELSE I SHOOT 'EM.

NO, I'M JUST KIDDIN'. NOW,

LET ME INTRODUCE TO
YOU MY ASSISTANT, MR. T.

HEY, FOOL! HOW YOU DOIN'?

NOW, CORRECT ME IF
I'M WRONG. I WILL, FOOL.

OKAY. NOW... BUT DIDN'T YOU
ONCE HAVE A TOP-RATED TV SERIES?

YOU HAD YOUR OWN CARTOON, AND
YOU HAD GOLD AROUND THE NECK.

- THAT'S RIGHT, FOOL.
- WELL, WHAT HAPPENED?

I WAS A FOOL.

NO ARGUMENT HERE. NOW,

LET'S GREET OUR
CONTESTANTS FOR TONIGHT.

LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR
DELTA BURKE AND SINBAD.

♪♪

BILL! MAN, I JUST GOTTA
SAY ONE THING, MAN.

IT IS CRAZY OUT THERE, MAN!

HOW COME EVERY TIME YOU GET ON AN AIRPLANE,
THEY GIVE YOU THEM LITTLE OLD PILLOWS, MAN?

I SAID, "HEY, MAN, THIS AIN'T
NO PILLOW. THIS IS A TAMPON!"

AND THAT LITTLE BABY... THAT
LITTLE BABY BE CRYIN', MAN!

THAT LITTLE BABY
CRYIN' LOUD! I AIN'T LYIN'!

BABY GOT A BIG OLD BUTT. SINBAD.

SINBAD, HOW MANY TIMES
DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?

YOU DON'T HAVE TO
SHOUT TO BE FUNNY.

YOU JUST HAVE TO MAKE SILLY FACES, YOU
KNOW. THERE YOU GO. MAKE A SILLY FACE.

NOW, DELTA, WHY
IN HEAVEN'S NAME...

DID YOU LEAVE DESIGNING WOMEN?

WELL, MY COSTARS THOUGHT
I WAS GETTIN' A BIG HEAD.

OH, IT AIN'T YOUR HEAD.
IT'S YOUR BIG OLD BUTT!

BIG OLD GREASY BUTT, MAN.

YOU KNOW, WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
DELTA BURKE AND DELTA AIRLINES, MAN?

TWENTY POUNDS, MAN!
I AIN'T LYIN'! I AIN'T LYIN'.

SINBAD, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE THE ONLY
MAN WHO SHAMPOOS HIS HAIR WITH TANG.

NOW, STOP THE
BADGERIN' AND THE ARGUIN'.

NOW, TONIGHT, YOU
TWO WILL BE PLAYING...

FOR THE WALK-ON PART
OF THE TV SHOW MAJOR DAD.

PICK ME! PICK ME! I'LL
START THE WARM-UP! PICK ME!

NOW, OUR CATEGORY, AS
ALWAYS, IS "BAD CAREER MOVES."

NOW, LISTEN TO THE QUESTION.

THIS STAR MADE AN AWFUL CAREER MOVE
WHEN THEY LEFT A POPULAR TV SERIES.

THAT WOULD BE ME.

OH! IT'S GOTTA BE ME.

NO, YOU'RE BOTH WRONG. IT'S ME.

JUST KIDDING. NOW,
NEXT QUESTION.

WHOSE CAREER WENT
DOWN THE TOILET THIS YEAR?

VANILLA ICE.

THAT IS CORRECT.

AND WHOSE CAREER
ENDED THIS YEAR?

UH, DENNIS MILLER.

YOU ARE CORRECT AGAIN. NOW,
HERE IS THE BONUS QUESTION.

WHOSE CAREER IS GOING
TO BE WASHED UP NEXT YEAR?

OH! TOM ARNOLD.

YOU ARE CORRECT AGAIN.

NOW, I'M GLAD TO SAY THAT...

HEY, WHAT IS... WHAT IS GOING
ON, FILTH, FLYIN' AND FLOREN?

CAN'T YOU SEE THAT WE'RE
DOIN' THE SHOW HERE?

WE'RE REPOSSESSING
THIS STUFF, MR. COSBY.

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO
TELL YA? YOU'VE BEEN CANCELED.

WHAT DO YOU... WHAT DO YOU
MEAN, I'VE BEEN CANCELED?

I'M THE MOST BELOVED FATHER ON
TELEVISION. YOU DON'T KNOW NOTHING.

I DID ALL THE VOICES
FOR FAT ALBERT.

HEY, HEY, HEY. LET BILL STAY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'? NEED A HAND?

HOW DOES 20 BUCKS
SOUND? DEAL, FOOL!

HEY, MAN, LET ME GET SOME
OF THAT ACTION. ME TOO!

SINBAD, DELTA, HOW
COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?

HEY, WORK IS WORK. I DON'T CARE.

I CAN... I CAN BUY THIS NETWORK.

I DON'T NEED YOU TO CANCEL ME.
I GOT MONEY. LOOK AT THIS HERE.

I CAN'T BE CANCELED!

HI. I'M JENNIFER,
AND THIS IS ARTHUR,

AND WE'RE HERE TO INTRODUCE UPTOWN/M.C.A.'S
RECORDING ARTIST FATHER M.C.

♪ EVERYTHING WILL BE
ALL RIGHT ♪ ALL RIGHT!

♪ BABY, YEAH BABY,
YEAH BABY, YEAH ♪

YEAH. YEAH. YEAH, COME ON.

SEE YOUR MOVEMENT, BABY.

AND YOU LOOK SO GOOD.
YEAH, YOU LOOK SO FINE.

♪ EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALL
RIGHT LET THE MUSIC TAKE CONTROL ♪

YEAH.

TRICKY AND MOE, GET
READY TO DO YOUR THING.

♪ WELL, I'LL BEGIN THE
WEEKEND WITH A GROOVE ♪

♪ ROLL ABOUT EIGHT DEEP
NOW, WHAT'S MY NEXT MOVE ♪

♪ WAITIN' TO
NIGHTFALL I CAN ENJOY ♪

♪ SYSTEM PUMPED BY FOUR
JEEPS RUNNIN' LIKE A CONVOY ♪

♪ ROLL TO THE PARK KINDA
CROWDED, WHAT A SCENE ♪

♪ PULLIN' UP WITH JODECI
BLASTIN' OUT THE 15 ♪

♪ SO I PARK MY RIDE
GIRLS SEE MY GEARIN' ♪

♪ NOTICE MY GRILL THEY
COMES UP POINTIN' AND STARIN' ♪

♪ EVERYTHING'S
GONNA BE ALL RIGHT ♪

♪ LET THE MUSIC TAKE CONTROL ♪

♪ LET THE MUSIC TAKE
CONTROL OF YOUR BODY ♪

COME ON.

CHECK IT OUT.

♪ I SIGN A COUPLE AUTOGRAPHS
TAKE A FEW FLICKS ♪

♪ ORDER DOM PERIGNON
LAY BACK WITH MY CHICKS ♪

♪ MIKE IS ON THE LEFT
OF ME SMOOTH IS FLIPPIN' ♪

♪ TRICKY AND MORETTO ON
THE DANCE FLOOR RIPPIN' ♪

♪ SUKA'S WITH A CUTIE THE
GIG I'M TRYIN' TO FIND HIM ♪

♪ TIM IS IN THE FRONT AND
MOBAT IS RIGHT BEHIND HIM ♪

♪ AND ME I'M JUST
LAYIN' ON THE PROWL ♪

♪ GOTTA SAY WHAT'S UP
AS THE GIRLS CRY OUT ♪

♪ GRABS HER MAN I THINK
YOU TRIED TO PLAY HIM ♪

♪ MY ONLY THOUGHT
WAS TO STEP TO THE A.M. ♪

♪ I CAME TO HAVE A GOOD TIME AND AT THE END
OF THE NIGHT NO DOUBT, I'M GONNA GET MINE ♪

♪ I DON'T HAVE TO RAISE
MY VOICE TO BE SEEN ♪

♪ I MAINTAIN IF YOU
KNOW WHAT I MEAN ♪

♪ UNDERSTAND, I'M NOT
CONCEITED FATHER'S JUST MELLOW ♪

♪ I'M A SMOOTH, DARK
ROMEO FREAK KINDA FELLOW ♪

♪ EVERYTHING'S
GONNA BE ALL RIGHT ♪

♪ EVERYTHING'S
GONNA BE ALL RIGHT ♪

♪ LET THE MUSIC TAKE
CONTROL OF YOUR BODY ♪

LET'S SHOW THE WORLD
HOW WE DO MY DANCE.

LET'S SHOW 'EM.

♪ DO MY DANCE DO
MY DANCE, BABY ♪

♪ DO MY DANCE
LET'S WORK IT OUT ♪

♪ DO THAT DANCE DO
THAT DANCE, BABY ♪

♪ DO THAT DANCE ♪
HERE WE GO.

♪ DO MY DANCE DO
MY DANCE, BABY ♪

♪ DO MY DANCE
LET'S WORK IT OUT ♪

♪ SAID DO THAT DANCE
DO THAT DANCE, BABY ♪

♪ DO THAT DANCE
LET'S WORK IT OUT ♪

♪ LOUNGIN' ON THE D.L.
THIS TYPE OF NIGHT IS RARE ♪

♪ I GLANCE TO THE RIGHT
OH, WHO DO WE HAVE HERE ♪

♪ PUFFIN SWEET GETTIN'
RIPPED WHAT THE HELL ♪

♪ I SEE MR. UPTOWN
IT'S ANDRE FARWELL ♪

♪ CONVERSATIN' WITH HIS BOYS I SAY STOP
AND BARGE STRAIGHT THROUGH THE CROWD ♪

♪ IT'S TIME TO GET CHARGED
IT'S KIND OF MELLOW SO I LEAP ♪

♪ TO THE CENTER WHERE
THE SOULS ROLLIN' FIVE DEEP ♪

♪♪

♪ DOIN' THE WILD THING
'CAUSE THE SOUL IS TRUE ♪♪