In Living Color (1990–1994): Season 3, Episode 23 - The Last Man on Earth - full transcript

[Doorbell Rings]

- HELLO.
- HI.

UH,

I'M ENTERTAINING UPSTAIRS,
AND I RAN OUT OF COFFEE.

WELL, IT JUST HAPPENS I'VE
GOT A POT BREWING RIGHT NOW.

WHY DON'T YOU COME
IN AND HAVE SOME?

- THANK YOU.
- I HOPE TESTER'S CHOICE
WILL DO.

TESTER'S CHOICE?

MMM. SO SMOOTH.

IS IT HOT ENOUGH FOR YOU?

HOT AND CREAMY.
JUST THE WAY I LIKE IT.



CAN I HAVE ANOTHER CUP?

[Laughs]

YOU SAID THAT THREE CUPS AGO.

OH, MY GOSH.

I FORGOT ABOUT MY GUESTS. THEY'LL
BE WONDERING WHERE I'VE BEEN.

- WELL, DON'T YOU WANT
ANOTHER CUP?
- NO, I REALLY HAVE TO GO.

THANK YOU.

OH, COME ON! OH, THIS
IS A GREAT PARTY, GUYS.

AND GREAT COFFEE.

[Doorbell Rings]

- HELLO, DAN.
- HI.

CAN I COME IN? I BROUGHT SOME
COFFEE. NOT NOW. WE'RE HAVING COMPANY.

OH, I SEE.

YOU JUST DROP BY AND
DRINK MY COFFEE, AND



THEN TOSS ME ASIDE LIKE
SO MANY USED GROUNDS?

YOU'VE GOT
RESPONSIBILITIES, DAN.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT? YOU, ME, MY APARTMENT.

OR WERE YOU JUST SOME NEIGHBOR
STOPPING BY TO BORROW COFFEE?

EXACTLY. I WON'T BE IGNORED.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY
THE DECAF. EXCUSE ME.

OH!

JUST SOME CRAZY.

OKAY.

[Man] COFFEE SO GOOD
IT CAN'T BE IGNORED.

GOOD MORNING, HONEY.

IT WILL BE AS SOON AS I
HAVE SOME TESTER'S CHOICE.

DID I HEAR SOMEONE
SAY TESTER'S CHOICE?

[Screaming] [Laughing]

[Man] TESTER'S CHOICE.

THE TASTE THAT
JUST WON'T GO AWAY.

HOW YOU LIVIN'? WHAT?

HOW YOU LIVIN'? WHAT?

HOW YOU LIVIN'? ♪
IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ ANYTHING YOU WANT IS UP
TO YOU ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ YOU FOR ME AND ME FOR
YOU ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ YOU CAN BE ANYTHING YOU
WANNA BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ LET'S TAKE A TRIP AND
SIP ON A DREAM ♪ ♪ YEAH ♪

♪ GLIDE WITH THE GUIDE ON A
FUNKY SCENE ♪ ♪ ALL RIGHT ♪

♪ HERE COMES ANOTHER ONE OF
THOSE FUNKY, FUNNY MO' MONEY SHOWS ♪

♪ A CAST FOR LAUGHS
AND TALENTED ROLES ♪

♪ AND SISTERS WITH TWISTERS
FOR YOU BEEN LOOKIN' LISTENER ♪

♪ IT SEEMS YOU DON'T BELIEVE SO
YOU CAN BELIEVE WHAT I CONVINCE YA ♪

♪ SOME BOOTY TO YOUR SHORT
AND THOUGHT WE'LL MAKE IT SNAPPY ♪

♪ WITH JOKES AND POKES AT
FOLKS TO KEEP YOU HAPPY ♪

♪ NO NEED TO HOLD
YOUR REMOTE CONTROL ♪

♪ CHILL THIS SHOW'S GOT SOUL ♪

♪ ALL ABOARD, ALL ABOARD
THE TRAIN NEVER TROUBLES ♪

♪ YOU'D BETTER
SNUGGLE UP COUPLE UP ♪

♪ ON THE DOUBLE-DUB-DOUBLE ♪
♪ YEAH ♪

♪ IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE BUT SOME
OF THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE ♪

♪ SO, FELLAS, GRAB YOUR GIRL
TELL HER THAT YOU LOVE HER ♪

♪ 'CAUSE THAT'S THE WAY YOU'RE LIVIN'
WHEN YOU'RE LIVIN' IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ GO, GO, GO, GO
GO, GO, GO, GO ♪

♪ GO, GO, GO, GO
GO, GO, GO, GO ♪

♪ GO, GO, GO, GO
GO, GO, GO, GO ♪

♪ GO, GO, GO ♪

♪ GO, GO, GO, GO ♪♪

[Audience Cheering]

HELLO, AND WELCOME
TO THE 100,000 PYRAMID.

OUR GUEST CELEBRITIES THIS WEEK
ARE TWO OF AMERICA'S FAVORITE STARS,

TOM AND TOM, THE
BROTHERS BROTHERS.

[Cheering]

YIPPEE! WHOOPEE!

WELL, WELCOME TO THE SHOW, GUYS.

GREAT TO BE HERE,
DICK! HI, MOMMY!

I UNDERSTAND YOU TWO ARE SPONSORING
A BIG GOLF TOURNAMENT THIS WEEKEND.

THAT'S RIGHT. IT'S CALLED THE
VERY VANILLA VELVEETA V-8 CLASSIC.

IN VEGAS AND
VERMONT. VA-VA-VOOM!

YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE GAME. YOU
HAVE 30 SECONDS TO GUESS ALL SIX ANSWERS.

TOM, MARK, PICK A CATEGORY.

ALL RIGHTY. I THINK WE'RE
GONNA GO WITH TURN ON.

[Dick] TURN ON IT IS.

THIS CATEGORY IS FAMOUS
CELEBRITIES ASSOCIATED WITH THE '60s.

READY? GO.

OKAY, A FAMOUS BLACK MAN
PERSECUTED FOR HIS BELIEFS.

BEN VEREEN. OKAY. HE WAS
AN INSPIRATIONAL SPEAKER.

UH, NIPSEY RUSSELL. UH,
HIS NAME HAD A LETTER IN IT.

UM, UM, J.J.

UH, BEBE AND CECE.
L.L. UM, THE BEE GEES.

PASS! NEXT ONE, PLEASE.
OKAY. YOU'LL LOVE THIS.

UM, UM, UM, HE WAS
THE GODFATHER OF SOUL.

WAYNE NEWTON. AH, NO, NO.

THE HARDEST WORKING MAN IN
SHOW BUSINESS. UM, PAT BOONE.

DARKER. UH, BYRON ALLEN.

OH, COME ON. HE'S
A DANCING MACHINE.

NEXT! OKAY. VERY FAMOUS '60s
FIGURE, ASSOCIATED WITH THE PANTHERS.

UM, MARLIN PERKINS?

NO. WHEN YOU'RE CUTTING
SOMETHING YOU USE A...

AIR FRESHENER.
NO, NO. NO. A MEAT...

- CLEAVER. CLEAVER.
- MORE SPECIFIC.

UH, WALLY CLEAVER. NEXT.

OKAY. WOMAN FROM THE '60s, VERY
FAMOUS, BIG HAIRDO. HER INITIALS ARE A.D.

UM,

ANN B. DAVIS, THE MAID
ON THE BRADY BUNCH?

NO! THIS WOMAN WAS
A MILITANT PROTESTER.

GOSH, I KNOW THAT. I SAW THE EPISODE WHERE
SHE POURED THE NOODLES ON GREG'S HEAD.

[Buzzer]

OKAY, ONCE AGAIN, GUYS,
NO CORRECT ANSWERS.

[Tom Chattering] OKAY, TOM. WHICH
CATEGORY ARE YOU GOING TO PICK?

I'M GONNA GO WITH
THE WAY WE WERE.

ALL RIGHT. YOUR SUBJECT IS
FAMOUS HISTORICAL FIGURES.

READY? GO.

SHORT AND BALD-HEADED.

TELLY SAVALAS.

HE WAS ANOREXIC.
A LOT OF BEDSHEETS.

UM, UM, DOT, DOT, DOT.

[Mimicking Indian Accent] UH,
"WELCOME TO 7-ELEVEN."

YOU LOST ME. YOU LOST ME.

PASS. NEXT ONE. UH, HE
WAS A TROUBLEMAKER.

THIS GUY DIDN'T LIKE
HIS SEAT ON THE BUS.

UM, HE DIDN'T KNOW
HE HAD IT SO GOOD.

JOE PISCOPO. [Groans]

HE WALKED ALL OVER ALABAMA FOR NO REASON
AT ALL, GOT HIT IN HIS HEAD ALL THE TIME.

HE WAS... HE WAS, UM,
RELATIVE TO DON KING.

DON KING SR. PASS.

HE WAS THE FATHER OF OUR COUNTRY,
THE GREATEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED.

GEORGE WASHINGTON!

HE WAS AGAINST THOSE
STUPID PROGRAMS LIKE, UM,

AFFIRMATIVE ACTION
AND... AND SCHOOL LUNCHES.

A... A POLITICIAN. UM,
H-HE WAS THE... THE...

ON TOP OF EVERYTHING.
BILL CLINTON!

[Buzzer]

SORRY, TRUDY. WRONG ANSWER.

THE ANSWER WAS RONALD REAGAN.

WHY DO I GET STUCK
WITH THE DUMMIES? HEY!

ONCE AGAIN, THE SCORE
IS NOTHING-NOTHING.

YOU KNOW, I JUST CAN'T
TAKE THIS ANYMORE.

[Dick] I'M GETTING
PISSED MYSELF.

I'M TELLING YOU, DICK. THIS "BODINKEY"
IS JUST GETTING UNDER MY SKIN.

DID... TOM, TOM. IT'S OKAY.

I'M SORRY. MY NOSTRIL HAIR IS
FLARING AT THIS VERY MOMENT. [Gasps]

THAT'S A BOOGER.

COME ON, NOW, GUYS. ARE YOU SAYING
THAT IF YOU TWO WERE WORKING TOGETHER...

THE TWO BROTHERS...
YOU'D DO BETTER THAN THIS?

- YOU'RE DARN TOOTIN'.
- WELL, THEN, COME ON. TAKE THE CHALLENGE.

COME INTO THE WINNERS'
CIRCLE, AND GO FOR $100,000.

[Audience Cheering]

HI, DICK. HEY.

OH, YOU HAVE ONLY 60 SECONDS TO
ANSWER ALL THE QUESTIONS ON THE BOARD.

LET'S SEE IF YOU
CAN DO IT. OKAY.

GO.

[Breathing Erratically]

OKAY. UH, VIOLENCE, UNEMPLOYED
PEOPLE, JUVENILE DELINQUENTS.

THINGS YOU'D FIND
AT A RAP CONCERT.

THE JOHN DENVER LIVE ALBUM,

CHEEZ WHIZ ON A
RITZ, A WHITE GIRL.

THINGS YOU FIND ON
THE ARSENIO HALL SHOW.

YEAH! GREAT!

ARIZONA, ALABAMA,

SOUTH AFRICA. UH, A
PLACE TO GO ON VACATION.

[Bell Dings]

WELFARE, STALE WONDER BREAD.

WE'RE ALL OUT OF
MAYONNAISE. UM, UM...

THINGS THAT MAKE YOU MAD. YES!

GOING TO WORK EVERY
DAY, PAYING YOUR TAXES,

DINNER AT BRYANT GUMBEL'S
HOUSE. THINGS THAT ARE FUN TO DO?

[Bell Dings]

HI. I'M A BLACK GUY.

UH, SOMETHING A
ROBBER MIGHT SAY. YEAH!

UNBELIEVABLE! THAT'S
A PYRAMID RECORD!

CONGRATULATIONS, TOM AND
TOM. SEE YOU NEXT TIME, KIDS.

ALL RIGHTY. WHOO!

- ♪♪ [Hip-hop]
- ♪ ALL RIGHT
LET'S GO ♪

♪ SHIMMY, SHIMMY KOKO BOP ♪

♪ YEAH SHIMMY, SHIMMY KOKO POP ♪

- ♪ SHIMMY, SHIMMY KOKO BOP ♪
- ♪ SHIMMY, SHIMMY KOKO BOP ♪

♪ I'M HOPING THAT YOU HEAR ME
'CAUSE I LOVE IT WHEN YOU'RE NEAR ME ♪

♪ AND I'M TELLING YOU SINCERELY THAT
IF YOU KISS ME, GIRL I'LL KISS YOU BACK ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I REALLY,
REALLY REALLY LIKE YOU ♪

♪ AND I JUST WANT TO MAKE IT CLEAR,
WE'RE GONNA KEEP IT FAIR AND SQUARE ♪

♪ KISS ME AND I'LL
KISS YOU BACK ♪

♪ YO, IT'S NOT FUNNY REAL
CUTE IS WHAT YOU SAY TO ME ♪♪

[Panting]

I CAN'T MAKE IT.

I CAN'T TAKE ANOTHER STEP.

WENDLE, YOU'RE IT, MAN.

YOU'RE THE LAST MAN ON EARTH.

DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS?

WELL, I... LET ME CHECK.

THAT MEANS THAT
THERE IS ONE MAN...

FOR EVERY THREE BILLION
WOMEN LEFT ON EARTH.

AND THAT ONE MAN IS ME.

THAT MEANS THAT I,
WENDLE K. TEMPLETON,

AM FINALLY GONNA GET BUSY!

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT!
I'M GONNA GET BUSY!

ALL RIGHT. IT'S ME! YES!

GET OFF ME! YEAH! WHOO-HOO!

ALL RIGHT!

[Laughing]

HEY, EVERYBODY. I THINK I JUST
SAW A MAN HEADED IN THIS DIRECTION.

[All Yelling]

A REAL MAN? ARE YOU SURE?

[Woman] I CAN'T WAIT.

HERE HE COMES!

[All Squealing] PARTY TIME.

THAT'S RIGHT. COME AND GET IT.

WENDLE K. IN THE HOUSE. OOH.

RIGHT. I'M THE
LAST MAN ON EARTH.

I'M THE LAST FISH IN THE SEA.

THE LAST WEENIE ON THE GRILL.
WHO WANTS SOME? COME GET SOME.

OH, BABY.

THERE HASN'T BEEN A MAN
AROUND HERE IN A VERY LONG TIME.

OH, OH. AND, YOU KNOW, WENDLE,
THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS...

A WOMAN COULD USE A STRONG
MAN FOR. YES, I'M RIGHT HERE, BABY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT?
ANYTHING YOU WANT ME TO.

I DON'T THINK YOU WANT
TO DO ANY OF THAT, WENDLE.

AW, SHUCKS. VANILLA. YOU
KNOW, HERE'S MY PHONE NUMBER.

WHY DON'T YOU CALL ME?

LISTEN. I JUST WANT TO
GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER.

LET'S JUST GET STARTED
RIGHT AWAY. MMM, MMM, MMM.

COULD YOU OPEN THIS JAR? AND
WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED WITH THAT,

I HAVE A LITTLE GARBAGE
THAT NEEDS TO BE TAKEN OUT.

OH, NO. HE WON'T HAVE TIME FOR
THAT. YOU'VE GOTTA MOW THE LAWN,

AND YOU'VE GOTTA TRIM THE
HEDGES. HEY, WHAT ABOUT MY CAR?

MY TIRES NEED ROTATING.

[All Chattering]

[Women Laughing]

IS THAT THE CUTEST, TIGHTEST LITTLE
OLD BUTT YOU'VE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE?

I MEAN, WHAT A
CUTE LITTLE TUSHY.

I THINK I'VE HAD A
LITTLE TOO MUCH BOOZE.

HEY, WENDLE. BRING IT
OVER HERE, SWEET CAKES.

BRING IT HOME TO MAMA!

YOU KNOW, YOU ALL HAVE NO
IDEA HOW TO TREAT A HUMAN BEING.

I'VE DONE EVERYTHING FOR YOU. I
FIX YOUR CARS, I MOW YOUR LAWN,

AND STILL NONE OF YOU
WILL EVEN SLEEP WITH ME.

A MAN WOULD NEVER DO THAT. HE WOULD
AT LEAST HAVE MEANINGLESS SEX. AT LEAST!

AW! SOMEBODY MADE
WENDLE A LITTLE MAD.

WENDIE, WENDIE,

DON'T GET YOURSELF
ALL IN AN UPROAR, HONEY.

HERE'S A HAMMER, HONEY.
GO BUILD YOURSELF SOMETHIN'.

YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I
THINK? I THINK YOU ALL SHOULD...

WHO CARES WHAT YOU
THINK? YOU'RE A MAN.

JUST TURN AROUND AND LET
US SEE THAT LITTLE BOOTY!

HEY, WENDLE. YOU
KNOW WHAT YOU NEED?

I'M GONNA TELL
YOU WHAT YOU NEED.

YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU
KNOW. YOU NEED A WOMAN.

HEY. HEY. DOES ANYBODY HERE
WANT TO DO IT WITH WENDLE?

[All Laughing]

YEAH, YOU ALL LAUGH NOW, HUH?

LAUGH. RIGHT. LAUGH IT UP.

ONE DAY YOUR BIOLOGICAL
CLOCK IS GONNA START TICKIN',

AND YOU'RE GONNA NEED
WENDLE K. TO DO THE STICKIN'.

- THAT'S RIGHT.
- HEY. HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

HEY, HE'S RIGHT. I KNOW I WANT
TO HAVE A BABY ONE OF THESE DAYS.

- WELL, SO DO I.
- HAVE A BABY SOONER OR LATER. I MEAN...

YEAH, ALL RIGHT. NOW WHO
WANTS TO SEE SOME BUTT?

HERE, WENDLE.
HERE'S A PAPER CUP.

WHAT'S THIS FOR? WE'RE
STARTING A SPERM BANK.

[All Laughing]

HEY, WENDLE. IT'S SHOWTIME!

ALL RIGHT, ALL
RIGHT. I'M COMING.

♪♪ [Pop]

GO, WENDLE! GO, WENDLE!
GO, WENDLE! GO, WENDLE!

OH!

GO, WENDLE! GO, WENDLE!

♪ IT'S RAINING MEN
HALLELUJAH IT'S RAINING MEN ♪

[Man] CABLE ACCESS CHANNEL
96 PRESENTS MEN ON FILM.

HELLO. I'M BLAINE EDWARDS.
AND I'M ANTOINE MERRIWETHER.

[Together] AND WELCOME
TO MEN ON FILMS.

TODAY WE GONNA LOOK AT
FILMS ON VIDEOCASSETTE...

FROM A MALE POINT OF VIEW.

THAT'S RIGHT. AND TONIGHT WE'RE
BROUGHT TO YOU BY A BRAND-NEW SPONSOR,

HUNGRY MENS DINNERS. MMM, MMM.

NOW, HOW DO YOU
HANDLE A HUNGRY MAN?

I WRESTLE HIM DOWN AND TAKE
ADVANTAGE OF HIS WEAKNESS.

FIRST OFF, MY FAVORITE
LOVE STORY OF ALL TIMES...

IS ALL THE PRESIDENT'S MENS.

NOW THIS IS A STORY
ABOUT OUTING...

IN WHICH TWO MALE REPORTERS...

HAS TO INVESTIGATE THE
GOINGS-ON IN THE WHITE HOUSE.

MM-HMM. OOH, THERE WAS
JUST TOO MUCH INTRIGUE.

BUT THE REAL HERO OF THIS MOVIE
IS A MAN THEY CALLED DEEP THROAT.

SEE, HE WAS THE
ONE THAT LED THEM...

TO THE END OF THE TRAIL,
WHERE THEY FIND TRICKY DICK.

LIKE THEY WERE GONNA FIND
SOMETHING ELSE. YOU NEED TO STOP.

SO, ANYWAY, MY FAVORITE LOVE
STORY ON VIDEO IS DELIVERANCE.

MM-HMM. NOW THIS...

THIS IS A FILM ABOUT
LOVE AND CAMPING,

BUT THE MOVIE REALLY
DOESN'T START OFF UNTIL...

THEY MEET UP WITH THEM
LITTLE DIRTY HILLBILLIES...

WHO TEACH THESE MENS ABOUT HOW
TO ROUGH IT IN THE GREAT OUTDOORS.

MMM! JUST MAKE ME WANT TO
SQUEAL LIKE A PIGS. OOH-EEE!

MY GOODNESS.

I ALSO LIKE 48 HRS.

I'M TELLING YOU. WHAT
WITH NICK NOLTE...

HANDCUFFED TO THAT CUTE LITTLE
CHOCOLATE BROWN EDDIE MURPHYS...

MMM! TWO MENS FROM
DIFFERENT CULTURES...

LEARNING TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER...

AND DEPEND ON EACH
OTHERS FOR "STRUNGTH."

IT WAS LIKE A ALL-MALE
VERSION OF JUNGLE FEVERS.

I'VE GOT JUST TWO WORDS
TO DESCRIBE ANOTHER 48 HRS.

SCRUMP-TIOUS. I'M THROUGH.

WHICH BRINGS US TO OUR
NEXT CATEGORY, MUSICALS.

NOW, MY FAVORITE
MUSICAL IS GREASE.

WITH THAT YOUNG
LITTLE JOHN TRAVOLTA...

AND ALL THEM LITTLE
JAMES DEAN LOOK-ALIKES...

SLICKED UP IN LEATHER AND WEARIN'
THAT, UM, UH... ALL THEM CHAPS...

TO TRY TO ACT BUTCH, YOU KNOW.

I JUST... IT'S JUST TOO BAD
THEY SPOILED THAT FILM...

WITH THAT COLD FISH
FROM DOWN UNDER.

UH, OLIVIA NEWTON-FISH-JOHN
OR SOMETHIN'.

'CAUSE WHEN I LOOK AT JOHN
TRAVOLTA, LET ME TELL YOU, CHILD,

GREASE IS THE WORD.

OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? I HAVE A
CONSUMER ALERT FOR ALL OUR VIEWERS.

THE FILM BLACK STALLION IS NOT
ABOUT DENZEL WASHINGTON. WHAT?

MM-HMM. IT'S JUST ABOUT
SOME STANKY OLD HORSE.

BUT I'LL TELL YOU ONE MOVIE
THAT DID LIVE UP TO ITS TITLE.

THAT'S SHAFT. MMM!
SHUT YOUR MOUTH.

BUT I'M TALKING ABOUT
SHAFT. AND I CAN DIG IT.

AND THAT BRINGS US TO OUR
NEXT CATEGORY, FISH STORIES.

FIRST THERE'S LITTLE
MERMAID. HATED IT! HATED IT!

THEN THERE'S SPLASH.
HATED IT! HATED IT!

AND FINALLY THERE'S
THELMA AND LOUISE.

[Together] DOUBLE HATED IT.

I MEAN, WHO WANTS TO SEE TWO
SCRUFFY OLD WHITE HEIFERS...

IN A STANK, DIRTY CONVERTIBLE...

SCREECHIN' AND CATERWAULING?

[Scoffs] YOU KNOW, I COULDN'T WAIT
TILL THEY DROVE OFF THAT DAMN CLIFF.

VETE, VETE.

NOW, LISTEN. IF YOU WANT
SOME REAL EXCITEMENT... MM-HMM.

I CAN RECOMMEND SOME
VIDEOCASSETTES IN THE ACTION FILM GENRE.

OH. LIKE, YOU MEAN, UH, UH, LIKE...
LIKE PEE-WEE'S BIG ADVENTURES?

NO, I SAW PEE-WEE'S
ADVENTURE. IT WASN'T THAT BIG.

MOVING ON. [Chuckles]

BUT, YOU KNOW, I
PARTICULARLY ENJOYED...

THE ACTION AND EXCITEMENT
OF THE JAMES BOND FILMS.

OH, ME TOO. I
ESPECIALLY LIKE, UM,

THUNDERBALL AND GOLDFINGER...

AND MY FAVORITE,
NEVER SAY NEVER. OOH.

AND LET'S NOT FORGET OCTOPUSSY.

[Together] HATED IT!

WHICH BRINGS US TO
THE TIME IN THE SHOW...

WHEN WE DISCUSS OUR TWO
FAVORITE FILMS ON VIDEO OF ALL TIMES.

NOW, FOR ME, IT'S GOT
TO BE THE MOVIE BIG,

STARRING TOM HANKS AS A
MAN WITH A LITTLE BOY INSIDE HIM.

I BELIEVE WE CAN
ALL RELATE TO THAT.

MY FAVORITE FILM OF
ALL TIME IS PSYCHO.

I PARTICULARLY LOVE THE END...

WHERE ANTHONY PERKINS PUTS
ON HIS MOTHER'S DRESS, AND HE SAID,

"THIS IS ME. THIS IS WHO I
AM. LET'S TAKE A SHOWER."

AND THAT OLD ALFRED HITCHCOCK...
HIS NAME ALONE DRIVES ME PSYCHO.

[Chuckles]

SO, FOR ALL THE FINE
FILMS ON VIDEOCASSETTE,

LET'S GIVE IT OUR PATENTED
FILMS ON VIDEO SNAP.

TWO SNAPS AND A REWIND.

JOIN US NEXT WEEK WHEN WE'LL
BE TALKING ABOUT THE DIRTY DOZEN.

ISN'T THAT WITH THAT OLD
HUSKY, DUSKY JIM BROWN? MM-HMM.

IS HE STILL THROWING
PEOPLE OUT THE WINDOW?

I DON'T KNOW. HE
USED TO PLAY FOOTBALL.

I BET HE DID.

BYE-BYE. SEE YAS.

♪ IT'S RAINING MEN
HALLELUJAH IT'S RAINING MEN ♪

♪ AMEN ♪♪

TONIGHT WE HAVE TWO OF THE
DOPEST KIDS FROM ATLANTA...

WHO ARE TOTALLY KROSSED OUT.

FROM THEIR BACKWARD CLOTHING,
TO THE MAC DADDY TO THE DADDY MAC.

OFF RUFFHOUSE COLUMBIA RECORDS, PLEASE
PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR KRIS KROSS...

PERFORMING THEIR
HIT SINGLE "JUMP."

♪♪ [Hip-hop] ♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪

♪ YOU SHOULD KNOW YOU
SHOULD KNOW THAT, UH ♪

♪ KRIS KROSS IS NOT
HAVING ANYTHING TODAY ♪

♪ AS WE STAND THERE
TOTALLY KROSSED OUT ♪

- ♪ WE COMMENCE TO MAKE YA ♪
- ♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪

♪ THE MAC DAD WILL MAKE YA ♪
♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪

♪ DADDY MAC'LL MAKE YA ♪
♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪

♪ KRIS KROSS WILL MAKE YA ♪
♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪

♪ DON'T TRY TO COMPARE US
TO ANOTHER BAD LITTLE FAD ♪

♪ I'M THE MAC, AND I'M BAD GIVE YOU
SOMETHING THAT YOU NEVER HAD ♪

♪ I MAKE YA BUMP, BUMP
WIGGLE AND SHAKE YOUR RUMP ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I BE KICKING THE FLAVOR
THAT MAKES YOU WANNA JUMP ♪

♪ HOW HIGH REAL HIGH
'CAUSE I'M JUST SO FLY ♪

♪ A YOUNG LOVABLE
HUGGABLE TYPE OF GUY ♪

♪ AND EVERYTHING IS TO THE
BACK WITH A LITTLE SLACK ♪

♪ 'CAUSE INSIDE OUT IT'S
WIGGIDA, WIGGIDA WIGGIDA WACK ♪

♪ I COME STOMPIN' WITH SOMETHIN'
HOPIN' TO KEEP YOU JUMPIN' ♪

♪ R&B AND BULL CRAP
IS WHAT I'M DUMPIN' ♪

♪ AND AIN'T SOMETHING ABOUT
KRIS KROSS WE ALL THAT ♪

♪ SO WHEN THEY ASK DO
THEY ROCK SAY BELIEVE THAT ♪

♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪
♪ THE MAC DAD WILL MAKE YA ♪

♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪
♪ DADDY MAC'LL MAKE YA ♪

- ♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪
- ♪ KRIS KROSS WILL MAKE YA ♪

- ♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪
- ♪ UH-HUH, UH-HUH ♪

♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪
♪ THE MAC DAD'LL MAKE YA ♪

♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪
♪ DADDY MAC'LL MAKE YA ♪

♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪
♪ KRIS KROSS WILL MAKE YA ♪

♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪
♪ I LET MYSELF KNOCKIN' ♪

♪ KNOCKIN' ♪ ♪ I LOVE IT
WHEN A GIRL IS, LIKE, JOCKIN' ♪

♪ JOCKIN' ♪
♪ THE D-A-DOUBLE-D-Y M-A-C ♪

- ♪ YEAH, YOU KNOW ME ♪
- ♪ I GOT YOU JUMPIN' AND PUMPIN'
AND MOVIN' ALL AROUND, "G" ♪

♪ IN THE MIX I MAKE
YA TAKE A STEP BACK ♪

♪ THEY TRY TO STEP TO THE
MAC THEN THEY GOT JACKED ♪

♪ TO THE BACK YOU'LL BE SPORTIN'
THE GEAR THAT'S COINCIDENTAL ♪

♪ AND LIKE YOU KNOW IT DON'T
BE CLAIMING THAT IT'S MENTAL ♪

♪ TWO LI'L KIDS WITH A
FLOW YOU AIN'T EVER HEARD ♪

♪ AND NONE FAKIN' YOU CAN
UNDERSTAND EVERY WORD ♪

♪ WORD ♪ ♪ AS YOU LISTEN
TO MY COOL SCHOOL MELODY ♪

♪ THE DADDY MAKES YOU J-U-M-P ♪

♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪
♪ THE MAC DAD'LL MAKE YA ♪

- ♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪
- ♪ DADDY MAC'LL MAKE YA ♪

- ♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪
- ♪ KRIS KROSS WILL MAKE YA ♪

♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪ ♪ UH-HUH UH-HUH ♪

- ♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪
- ♪ THE MAC DAD WILL MAKE YA ♪

- ♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪
- ♪ THE DADDY MAC
WILL MAKE YA ♪

- ♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪
- ♪ KRIS KROSS WILL MAKE YA ♪

♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪

♪ NOW, THE FORMALITIES
OF DIS AND DAT ♪

♪ IS THAT KRIS KROSS
AIN'T COMIN' OFF WACK ♪

♪ AND FOR ALL Y'ALL
SUCKERS THAT DON'T KNOW ♪

♪ CHECK IT OUT ♪

♪ SOME OF THEM TRY TO RHYME
BUT THEY CAN'T RHYME LIKE THIS ♪

♪ SOME OF THEM TRY TO RHYME
BUT THEY CAN'T RHYME LIKE THIS ♪

♪ SOME OF THEM TRY TO RHYME
BUT THEY CAN'T RHYME LIKE THIS ♪

♪ SOME OF THEM TRY TO
RHYME BUT THEY CAN'T ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I'M THE MIGGIDA,
MIGGIDA, MIGGIDA MAC DADDY ♪

♪ THE MIGGIDA,
MIGGIDA MIGGIDA MAC ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I'M THE MIGGIDA,
MIGGIDA, MIGGIDA MAC DADDY ♪

♪ THE MIGGIDA, MIGGIDA
MIGGIDA MAC MAKE YOU WANNA ♪

♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪
♪ THE MAC DAD'LL MAKE YA ♪

♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪ ♪
DADDY MAC WILL MAKE YA ♪

♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪
♪ KRIS KROSS WILL MAKE YA ♪

♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪ ♪ UH-HUH UH-HUH ♪

- ♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪
- ♪ THE MAC DAD'LL MAKE YA ♪

- ♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪
- ♪ DADDY MAC
WILL MAKE YA ♪

♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪
♪ KRIS KROSS WILL MAKE YA ♪

♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪ ♪ UH-HUH UH-HUH ♪

♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪
♪ THE MAC DAD'LL MAKE YA ♪

- ♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪
- ♪ DADDY MAC
WILL MAKE YA ♪

♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪
♪ KRIS KROSS WILL MAKE YA ♪

♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪ ♪ UH-HUH UH-HUH ♪

- ♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪
- ♪ THE MAC DAD'LL MAKE YA ♪

♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪ ♪
DADDY MAC WILL MAKE YA ♪

♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪
♪ KRIS KROSS WILL MAKE YA ♪

- ♪ JUMP, JUMP ♪
- ♪ BELIEVE THAT ♪

♪ YEAH ♪ ♪ ONE, TWO ONE, TWO ♪

♪ WE OUT ♪♪
[Grunts]