In Living Color (1990–1994): Season 3, Episode 22 - Player's Club - full transcript
♪♪ [Big Band]
DO YOU ENJOY THE
FABULOUS RESORT CITIES?
ATLANTIC CITY, LAS
VEGAS, RENO, LAKE TAHOE?
DO YOU HAVE AS MUCH
FREE TIME AS I DO?
THEN WHAT ARE YOU WAITING
ON? GET YOURSELF A PLAYER'S CLUB.
YOU'LL RECEIVE UP TO 110% OFF
ON SHOWS, ROOMS AND MEALS.
WITH THE PLAYER'S CLUB,
YOU'LL GET VIP TREATMENT, BABY.
I'LL HAVE A SUITE WITH
A HEART-SHAPED BED.
I'M SORRY, WE... [Grunts]
[Rings] BELLBOY.
AND WITH THE CLUB, THERE'S
NO PROBLEM GETTIN' GOOD SEATS.
TONY, CAN YOU FIT
ME IN? NO, MAN, I'M...
BINGO. FRONT ROW.
USE THE PLAYER'S
CLUB IN CASINOS, BANKS...
OR ANYWHERE ELSE YOU WANT
TO THROW YOUR WEIGHT AROUND.
THE PLAYER'S CLUB...
IT'S A MOOCHER'S DREAM.
[Ringing] I WON, I WON, I WON!
I WON! WELL, LET ME
HELP YOU COUNT IT.
WHO CLUBS YA, BABY?
TWENTY, 40, 60,
AND ONE FOR YOU. TWENTY.
HOW YOU LIVIN'? WHAT?
HOW YOU LIVIN'? WHAT?
HOW YOU LIVIN'? ♪
IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ ANYTHING YOU WANT IS UP
TO YOU ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU FOR ME AND ME FOR
YOU ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN BE ANYTHING YOU
WANNA BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ LET'S TAKE A TRIP AND
SIP ON A DREAM ♪ ♪ YEAH ♪
♪ GLIDE WITH THE GUIDE ON A
FUNKY SCENE ♪ ♪ ALL RIGHT ♪
♪ HERE COMES ANOTHER ONE OF
THOSE FUNKY, FUNNY MO' MONEY SHOWS ♪
♪ A CAST FOR LAUGHS
AND TALENTED ROLES ♪
♪ AND SISTERS WITH TWISTERS
FOR YOU BEEN LOOKIN' LISTENER ♪
♪ IT SEEMS YOU DON'T BELIEVE SO
YOU CAN BELIEVE WHAT I CONVINCE YA ♪
♪ SOME BOOTY TO YOUR SHORT
AND THOUGHT WE'LL MAKE IT SNAPPY ♪
♪ WITH JOKES AND POKES AT
FOLKS TO KEEP YOU HAPPY ♪
♪ NO NEED TO HOLD
YOUR REMOTE CONTROL ♪
♪ CHILL THIS SHOW'S GOT SOUL ♪
♪ ALL ABOARD, ALL ABOARD
THE TRAIN NEVER TROUBLES ♪
♪ YOU'D BETTER
SNUGGLE UP COUPLE UP ♪
♪ ON THE DOUBLE-DUB-DOUBLE ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
♪ IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE BUT SOME
OF THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE ♪
♪ SO, FELLAS, GRAB YOUR GIRL
TELL HER THAT YOU LOVE HER ♪
♪ 'CAUSE THAT'S THE WAY YOU'RE LIVIN'
WHEN YOU'RE LIVIN' IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO
GO, GO, GO, GO ♪
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO
GO, GO, GO, GO ♪
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO
GO, GO, GO, GO ♪
♪ GO, GO, GO ♪
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO ♪♪
WELL, MR. PRIME MINISTER, I'D LIKE TO
APOLOGIZE AGAIN FOR GETTING SICK IN JAPAN.
ONE MINUTE, I FELT GREAT. THE
NEXT MINUTE, I WAS SPEWIN' SASHIMI.
DON'T WORRY. JAPANESE FOOD
TAKE TIME GETTING USED TO.
I ONLY HOPE I DO AS WELL
WITH AMERICAN FOOD.
I HOPE SO TOO. HEY,
THERE, SUGAR DUMPLINGS.
HOW Y'ALL DOING? HOW
CAN MAMA HELP YOU?
WELL, I KNOW THAT WE'D
ALL LIKE SOMETHING FILLING.
CHILI, PICK IT UP.
WELL, THAT DEPENDS
ON HOW HUNGRY YOU ARE.
OH, I'M SO HUNGRY, I
COULD EAT A HORSE.
OH, THAT'S COMBINATION
PLATE NUMBER FIVE.
MR. ED. PICK IT UP.
I CAN BUST A PIMPLE WITH
MY BUTT CHEEKS. [Chuckles]
I THINK WE'D LIKE TO TRY SOME,
UH, SOUL FOOD. [Woman] OH, YES.
SOUND GOOD? UH-HUH.
ALL RIGHT. PRIME MINISTER, WOULD
YOU LIKE TO TAKE A SHOT AT THE ORDER?
UH, DO YOU HAVE BLACK-EYED PEA?
OH, NOT SINCE I STOPPED
DRINKING THAT CRANBERRY JUICE.
IT CLEARED UP RIGHT AFTER THAT.
HEY, YOU LOOK
FAMILIAR. IS YOU FAMOUS?
WELL, I SUPPOSE
YOU COULD SAY THAT.
OH, I KNEW IT. I SEE YOUR
FACE ALL OVER THE PLACE.
REALLY? YEAH, ON THAT OATMEAL
BOX. YOU'RE QUAKER OATS.
HEY, FRANCIS. WE GOT OURSELVES
A CELEBRITY IN THE HOUSE.
OH. LORD HAVE MERCY. AIN'T THAT NICE.
LAST TIME WE HAD SOMEBODY FAMOUS...
WAS WHEN THAT LITTLE GARY COLEMAN
RAN OFF WITHOUT PAYING HIS CHECK.
ASK HER IF SHE KNOW UNCLE BEN.
I SEEN OPRAH'S BOOTY.
WHO SAID HE WANTED
OKRA? PICK IT UP.
ACTUALLY, I AM BARBARA BUSH AND THIS
IS MY HUSBAND, PRESIDENT GEORGE BUSH.
HI, EVERYONE. OH.
HEY, PRESIDENT.
WELL, WHAT BRINGS YOU DOWN HERE?
WELL, I JUST THINK IT'S A
GOOD IDEA TO GET IN TOUCH...
WITH ALL THE LITTLE
POINTS OF LIGHT.
YOU CAN'T SERVE THE COUNTRY UNLESS
YOU KNOW WHAT THE COUNTRY WANTS.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT
THE COUNTRY WANTS.
STOP MESSIN' WITH THE BLACKS
AND GIVE US A BREAK ON TAX.
STOP HOGGIN' UP ALL THE WEALTH
AND GIVE US A CUT ON HEALTH.
STOP FLYIN' ALL AROUND
AND KEEP YOUR ASS IN TOWN.
YOU DON'T LIKE THAT,
YOU CAN KISS MY BUTT.
THAT'S MY ADVICE.
NOW PICK IT UP.
I HATE TO SAY, BUT I
TOLD YOU SO. [Chuckling]
ENOUGH TALK. LET'S JUST
DO THE ORDERING, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT, MAMA. TELL YOU WHAT,
EVERYTHING LOOKS JUST FABULOUS.
UH, WHY DON'T YOU SURPRISE US?
OKAY, DUMPLING. WE GOT
THREE SURPRISES, COMING UP.
- UH, THREE SURPRISES.
- UH, THREE SURPRISES. UH, PICK IT UP.
PICK IT UP. PICK IT UP.
OKAY, NOW WHY DON'T YOU MOVE ON OUT OF
MY WAY OR MAMA'S GONNA HAVE TO SPANK YOU.
- WHAT YOU...
- IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.
CEASE FIRE. CEASE FIRE.
DON'T MAKE MAMA HAVE
TO HURT YOU. CEASE FIRE.
I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID.
AMERICANS NOT LAZY AT ALL.
HE WORK VERY HARD.
HATE TO SAY I TOLD
YOU SO. [Chuckles]
- HERE YOU GO, BABIES.
- OH, MY GOODNESS. NOW WHAT'S THIS?
THAT'S GUMBO. GOT A LITTLE
BIT OF EVERYTHING IN IT.
LOVELY. DO YOU SERVE CRACKERS?
OH, BABY, WE SERVE
ANYBODY HERE. THAT'S RIGHT.
NO, I MEAN, DO YOU
SERVE SALTED CRACKERS?
OH, YES I DO. HERE YOU GO.
THERE YOU GO, BABY.
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME
SARDINES WITH THAT? OH, NO. NO.
THAT'S FINE. THIS
WILL BE PERFECT.
OH. SHALL WE, UH...
SHALL WE GIVE IT A TRY?
YOU KNOW, THIS ISN'T BAD.
IT TASTES LIKE MISO SOUP.
MINE'S DELICIOUS.
I'M, UH... HMM, THAT'S STRANGE.
KIND OF A GRAINY CONSISTENCY.
SEEMS TO BE SOMETHING
FLOATING AROUND...
OH, MY GOODNESS. I THINK I JUST
SWALLOWED SOMETHING FOUL.
MAMA. YEAH, BABY?
I THINK THERE'S
SOMETHING IN THE SOUP.
OH, LET ME SEE.
OH, FRANCIS, I FOUND
YOUR BREAST IMPLANT.
LOOK AT THAT. I THOUGHT
THAT WAS GONE FOR SURE.
OH, GOD. I FEEL AWFUL.
WAFFLE. PICK IT UP.
I THINK I'M GONNA...
REGURGITATE.
BURGER PLATE. PICK IT UP.
READ MY LIPS.
[Vomiting] OH,
GEORGE, NOT AGAIN.
BAG OF CHIPS. PICK IT UP.
[Vomiting] I HAVEN'T SEEN GEORGE
THIS SICK SINCE OUR HONEYMOON.
HE LOOK LIKE MT. PINATUBO.
DON'T THINK JUST CAUSE
YOU DIDN'T DIGEST IT...
THAT YOU AIN'T
GOT TO PAY FOR IT.
WHAT IS... LUTHER!
LUTHER, GET A BUCKET!
THIS THING IS RUNNIN'
ALL OVER THE PLACE.
I AIN'T GONNA WIPE
NO VOMIT OFF HIS FACE.
BUCKWHEAT WAS A GENIUS.
HELLO, EVERYONE. MAY I
HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE?
I WOULD LIKE TO THANK
YOU FOR COMING...
AND WELCOME YOU TO MY EXHIBIT
ENTITLED SEPTEMBER FEELINGS.
THE FIRST PAINTING I WOULD
LIKE TO DRAW YOUR ATTENTION TO...
IS ONE I AM VERY PROUD OF.
AND I CALL IT SUN
ON MY SHOULDERS.
[Whistle Blowing]
LOOK AWAY, PEOPLE!
IT'S NOT TOO LATE!
IT'S JUST A BAD DREAM, KIDS,
AND I AM YOUR WAKE-UP CALL.
SHIELD YOUR EYES
FROM THIS VULGARITY.
IT'S TIME TO ACT UP.
HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE,
YOU CRAZY PERSON? SECURITY!
YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH
YOU? IT'S ONLY A PAINTING.
ONLY A PAINTING? SMOKE SCREEN, SMOKE
SCREEN, SO THE TRUTH CANNOT BE SEEN!
LET'S LOOK AT IT FROM A LITTLE
DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE, SHALL WE?
GIVE IT A LITTLE TWIST, AND
BINGO, IT'S A BIG OLD TUSH.
THIS IS NOT SUN ON MY
SHOULDER. IT'S MOON IN YOUR FACE.
IF YOU DON'T MIND, WE'D
JUST LIKE TO SEE THE EXHIBIT.
WELL.
ISN'T THAT MAKEUP ON YOUR
FACE VERY INTERESTING?
WAS IT TESTED ON LITTLE ANIMALS,
LITTLE DEFENSELESS ONES IN CAGES?
THIS MEAN ANYTHING TO
YOU? "OW, OW, OW!" HUH?
MAYBE SOMEWHERE THERE'S A HAMSTER,
YOU KNOW, WITH PURPLE EYE SHADOW...
SUFFERING AND CHOKING
AND FALLING OFF HIS WHEEL...
SO YOU CAN LOOK LIKE
CLEOPATRA, VIVISECTIONIST.
I SWEAR,
I AM GOING TO WAKE
THESE PEOPLE UP TODAY...
OR MY NAME ISN'T KIRT SINJIN.
THIS IS INTRIGUING.
I BELIEVE THE WORD
IS "EVIL," PEOPLE.
EVIL!
THIS WILL COME IN REAL HANDY
WHEN THEY REDECORATE HELL.
CAN'T YOU JUST FEEL THE DARKNESS,
THE DARK FORCES WORKING WITHIN IT?
IT'S ENOUGH TO
MAKE A NUN GO BALD.
THIS PIECE REPRESENTS
MAN'S ETERNAL QUEST...
TO DESTROY THE ALASKAN KING
CRAB IN ITS NATURAL HABITAT.
EITHER THAT OR IT'S JUST A
BIG UGLY EYE AND I HATE IT.
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING TO MY PAINTING?
I'M GIVING IT A STY.
STOP IT, YOU IDIOT! STOP IT!
IT TOOK ME FOUR HOURS TO CREATE A
GREAT PIECE OF ART AND YOU'VE RUINED IT.
I'VE SEEN BETTER ART IN THE
BATHROOM AT SIZZLER, HONEY.
CULTURAL MORON!
I SWEAR, I COULD JUST PARK MY
NAILS IN YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW.
GO AHEAD AND TRY IT. I DARE YOU.
AND WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE?
THAT'S A LIGHT FIXTURE. SHUT UP.
WE'RE SENDING OUT THE
WRONG SIGNALS, PEOPLE.
WHAT IS THIS SCULPTURE
SAYING TO THE CHILDREN?
IS THIS WHAT THEY
HAVE TO MEASURE UP TO?
"HEY, KIDS. YOU'RE NOBODY UNLESS
YOU'RE PART OF THE HIP-TORSO CROWD."
NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THEY'RE
LOPPING OFF THEIR APPENDAGES.
LISTEN TO ME.
THIS CANNOT HAPPEN, PEOPLE.
WE ARE SETTING AN
IMPOSSIBLE STANDARD HERE.
HELP ME, PLEASE.
SOMEONE REACH OUT.
DANGER, DANGER!
DR. SMITH, DR. SMITH!
I'M TELLING YOU FOR THE LAST
TIME. WILL YOU REMOVE YOURSELF...
FROM MY BEAUTIFUL SCULPTURE
AND FROM THIS GALLERY?
I'M NOT MOVING UNTIL THIS
PIECE OF DRECK IS DESTROYED.
OR AT LEAST TILL ITS
DOODLE IS COVERED.
STOP IT!
THAT IS A BEAUTIFUL
PIECE OF ART.
I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU
THINK OF ME, HANDSOME.
I HAVE A QUEST.
VANISH!
- WHAT IS THIS LITTLE DISPLAY?
- IT'S MY LUNCH.
WELL, NICE USE OF
COLOR AND COMPOSITION.
WHAT'S INSIDE? [Gasps]
IT'S BEEF.
SOMEBODY CATCH ME.
THANKS A LOT.
WHAT AM I, NUCLEAR WASTE?
DOESN'T ANYBODY CARE?
YOU PEOPLE ARE REALLY SOMETHING.
WELL, I'M SORRY
TO DISAPPOINT YOU.
BUT I AM JUST NOT
GOING TO GO AWAY.
I AM REAL, I AM SIGNIFICANT AND I
AM GOING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
EXCUSE ME, DOES ANYBODY
BELONG TO THAT MOPED OUT THERE?
YES. GETS ME FROM "A" TO "B."
SO WHAT?
SO SOMEBODY
BACKED OVER IT. SORRY.
WELL, WHY DON'T WE JUST FRAME
IT AND STICK IT ON THE WALL?
IT'LL BE PROOF
THAT I ONCE EXISTED.
THEY'RE TRYING TO
SILENCE US, PEOPLE.
IT'S TIME TO ACT UP.
[Blowing Whistle]
WILL YOU JUST GET RID
OF HIM? I DON'T CARE HOW.
EXCESSIVE FORCE!
EXCESSIVE FORCE!
YOU'RE ALL WITNESSES!
THIS IS BALDERDASH!
IT WASN'T FUNNY!
ALL RIGHT, CHILDREN.
TAKE YOUR SEATS. COME ON.
YOUR TEACHER, MRS. WALKER, WON'T BE
HERE TODAY, BUT WE HAVE A TREAT FOR YOU.
YEAH! [Shouting] WHAT IS IT?
A VERY SPECIAL
SUBSTITUTE TEACHER.
SO I WANT YOU ALL TO BE
AT YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR.
OKAY. OKAY. OKAY.
[All Yelling, Shouting]
[No Audible Dialogue]
SIT DOWN.
ALL RIGHT, CHILDRENS. MY
NAME IS HOMEY D. CLOWN.
[All] YEAH!
HERE, MR. CLOWN.
IT'S AN APPLE FOR YOU.
OH, ISN'T THAT SWEET? LOOK,
CHILDRENS. AN APPLE FOR THE TEACHER.
[Girl] OH, THAT'S NICE.
IN OTHER WORDS, YOU
TRYIN' TO WIN MY AFFECTION
AND BECOME THE
TEACHER'S PET, AIN'T YOU?
UH-HUH. "UH-HUH."
OKAY, SO WHAT DO Y'ALL WANT
TO DO FIRST, LITTLE CHILDREN?
I KNOW! I KNOW WHAT
WE CAN DO, MR. HOMEY!
WE COULD, UH,
FINGER PAINT! YEAH.
OH, Y'ALL WANT TO FINGER
PAINT, HUH? COME ON. YEAH!
LET ME SHOW YOU HOW THE MAN
FINGER PAINTS. COME HERE. OKAY.
OH. THERE YOU GO.
THAT'S NOT VERY PRETTY.
DAMN RIGHT, IT AIN'T.
AND BY THE LOOKS OF YOUR FACE,
NEITHER IS YOUR MAMA. NOW SIT DOWN!
OH, OH. MR. HOMEY.
M-MR. HOMEY. MR. HOMEY.
I WANNA BE A FIREMAN
WHEN I GROW UP.
OH, MAN-MAN-MAN,
THAT AIN'T NOTHING.
I WANNA BE A PILOT
WHEN I GROW UP.
NO, I'M GONNA WORK
FOR THE GOVERNMENT.
YOU MEAN, LIKE
MAKING LAWS? YEAH.
AND HANDING OUT
GOVERNMENT CHEESE? YEAH.
AND SIGNING BILLS AND RAISING
HOMEY'S TAXES? YEAH, YEAH.
SO ONCE AGAIN HOMEY HAS TO GIVE
UP ALL THE THINGS HE LOVES IN LIFE?
YEAH.
I DON'T THINK SO.
JUST GETTING MY LICKS IN
NOW BEFORE YOU SELL OUT.
ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH OF
ALL THE FUN, CHILDRENS.
'CAUSE I'M ABOUT TO
EXPLODE WITH JOY.
IT'S TIME FOR THE READING LESSON.
LET'S START WITH THE LETTER "A."
[Girl] OH, "A."
"A" IS FOR ARRESTED. CAN ANYONE MAKE
A SENTENCE WITH THE WORD "ARRESTED"?
OH, OH, OH. I CAN. AH, AH, AH.
GO AHEAD.
SINCE YOU HAVE SO
MUCH "A" ATTITUDE,
I THINK THAT HOMEY HAS
BEEN ARRESTED BEFORE.
THAT'S VERY GOOD. THAT
TAKES US TO THE LETTER "B."
"B" BECAUSE YOU GOT
SUCH A SMART MOUTH,
I'M GONNA BAP YOU
UPSIDE YOUR DAMN HEAD.
THAT TAKES US TO THE LETTER "C."
"C" IS FOR CONSPIRACY.
CAN ANYBODY TELL ME
WHAT "CONSPIRACY" IS?
YEAH, I CAN TELL YOU. MY
DAD SAYS "CONSPIRACY"
IS JUST A WORD THAT
BLACK PEOPLE USE...
AS AN EXCUSE FOR WHY THEY
ALWAYS GET IN SO MUCH TROUBLE.
THANK YOU, BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
SEE, THAT TAKES US
TO THE LETTER "D."
AND "D" IS FOR YOUR
DUMB-ASS DADDY.
THIS IS FOR YOU. AND THAT'S
FOR YOUR DUMB-ASS DADDY.
I'LL TELL HIM WHEN I GET HOME.
MR. HOMEY. MR-MR. HOMEY.
MRS. WALKER DON'T TEACH US THE
ALPHABET THAT WAY. SHE SURE DON'T.
THAT'S BECAUSE MRS.
WALKER IS "D" DEAD. [Girl] SHE IS?
CAN ANYBODY MAKE A
SENTENCE WITH "DEAD"?
NO! [Sobbing]
OKAY, LITTLE CHILDRENS.
LET'S PLAY ANOTHER GAME.
BIG KID, BIG KID, STAND UP AND
BE MY VOLUNTEER. SURE, HOMEY!
NOW, HOMEY HAS FIVE DOLLARS.
[Woman] WOW! IF BILLY TOOK
TWO, WHAT WOULD HE HAVE?
UH...
THREE DOLLARS, HOMEY!
NO. A SIZE-12 CLOWN
SHOE ON YOUR ASS.
GIVE ME MY MONEY
BACK. NOW SIT DOWN.
OKAY, IT'S TIME FOR
HOMEY'S SING-ALONG.
REPEAT AFTER ME,
WILL YOU? YEAH. YES.
- ♪ HOMEY'S TIRED ♪
- ♪ HOMEY'S TIRED ♪
- ♪ OF THE MAN ♪
- ♪ OF THE MAN ♪
- ♪ ALWAYS PULLS HIM OVER ♪
- ♪ ALWAYS PULLS HIM OVER ♪
♪ SHOULD RUN HIS WHITE ASS OVER
'CAUSE IF I DID, I'D GO BACK ON PROBATION ♪
♪ AND THEN THEY'D PUT ME
AWAY FOR SOME MORE TIME ♪
♪ TAKE ME AWAY AND LOCK ME UP ♪
♪ AND THEN DO EVERYTHING I DON'T WANT TO
DO AND I CAN STAY IN THE CELL WITH BUBBA ♪
COME ON, BACK ME UP, Y'ALL.
♪♪ [All Singing, Indistinct]
♪ AND THEY'LL PULL HIM AND THEN
THEY'LL RUSH OVER TO THE CAR ♪
♪ THEY'LL PUT YOU IN JAIL AND THEN YOU
HAVE TO BE WITH A MAN NAMED BUBBA ♪♪
THIS AIN'T STAR SEARCH.
SO, LITTLE CHILDRENS, WHAT
HAVE WE LEARNED, IF NOTHING ELSE?
[All] THAT HOMEY
DON'T PLAY THAT!
VERY GOOD. NOW LET'S PLAY HOOKY
AND GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.
YO. STRAIGHT OFF THE DEBUT
ALBUM A WOLF IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING,
HERE TO PERFORM
"THE CHOICE IS YOURS"...
PLEASE WELCOME FLAVOR UNIT'S
LATEST ADDITION, BLACK SHEEP.
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
YO, IS IN LIVING
COLOR IN THE HOUSE?
- ♪ COME ON, COME ON ♪
- ♪ THROW YOUR HANDS
IN THE AIR ♪
- ♪ COME ON, COME ON ♪
- ♪ THROW YOUR HANDS
IN THE AIR ♪
- ♪ COME ON, COME ON ♪
- ♪ THROW YOUR HANDS
IN THE AIR ♪
♪ NOW SAY "YEAH" JUMP ♪ ♪ JUMP ♪
♪ WHO'S A BLACK SHEEP
WHAT'S A BLACK SHEEP ♪
♪ KNOW NOT WHO I AM OR
WHEN I'M COMING SO YOU SLEEP ♪
♪ WAS IT IN MY REALM OR
WAS IT IN YOUR SPHERE ♪
♪ KNEW NOT WHO I
WAS BUT LISTEN HERE ♪
♪ DRES, D-R-E-S YES,
I GUESS I CAN START ♪
♪ IF IT'S ALL RIGHT WITH YOU
I'LL RIP THIS HERE JOINT APART ♪
♪ BACK, MIDDLE TO THE
FRONT DON'T FRONT ♪
♪ WANT A GOOD TIME? I WANNA
GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT ♪
♪ CAN I HEAR A "HEY"? ♪
♪ HEY ♪
♪ GET A "YO"? ♪
♪ YO ♪
♪ YOU GOT A PICK?
IT'S FOR YOUR FRO ♪
♪ THE STYLING IS CREATIVE
BLACK SHEEP OF THE NATIVE ♪
♪ YOU CAN'T BE VIOLATED
OR EVEN "DECEPTICATED" ♪
♪ I GOT BROTHERS IN THE
JUNGLE COUSINS ON THE QUEST ♪
♪ DEAF RETARDED UNCLES
IN PARTIES MAY THEY REST ♪
♪ GUESS: WHICH WAY
WHAT, WHEN, HOW ♪
♪ MISTA LAWNGE ♪ ♪ MISTA LAWNGE,
DRES BLACK SHEEP, SLAM NOW ♪
♪ KNOW YOU HEARD THE
OTHERS PHONIES TO THE LOVERS ♪
♪ THEN OF COURSE
THE CHOICE IS YOURS ♪
- ♪ YO, YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
- ♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
- ♪ I THINK THEY GET WITH THIS ♪
- ♪ WHY? CAUSE THIS IS
WHERE IT'S AT ♪
♪ YO, YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
- ♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
- ♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
♪ I THINK YOU GET WITH THIS 'CAUSE
THIS IS WHERE IT'S AT ♪ ♪ WHY? ♪
♪ WHERE'S THE BLACK SHEEP
HERE'S THE BLACK SHEEP ♪
♪ EVEN IF WE WANTED TO THE
FLOCK COULD NOT BE WEAK ♪
♪ WATCH ME SWING LIKE THIS
WHY SHOULD I SWING IT LIKE THAT? ♪
♪ BECAUSE IN FACT ON
ME IT MIGHT NOT ATTRACT ♪
♪ THEREFORE I IGNORE
DO AS I FEEL INSIDE ♪
♪ I LIVE WITH ME I GOT
MY BACK TONIGHT ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
YO, BLACK, I'M NOT PLAYING ♪
♪ NEED TO GET WITH THIS AND
GET WITH THIS WITH NO DELAYING ♪
♪ SEE, IN ACTUALITY ♪
♪ YOU WONDER CAN IT BE I MADE
IT LOOK EASY BECAUSE IT ISN'T ME ♪
♪ ANY TIME CAPACITY WAS
FILLED TRIED TO ROCK ♪
♪ ANY TIME A HONEY GAVE
ME PLAY I TRIED TO KNOCK IT ♪
♪ NEVER WAS A FOOL
SO WE FINISHED SCHOOL ♪
♪ YOU NEVER SEE US SWEAT
YO, YOU NEVER SEE US DROOL ♪
♪ OUT TO ROCK THE GLOBE
WHILE IT'S STILL HERE TO ROCK ♪
♪ KIDS OWN THE JOCK
BUT THE MOCK IS A CROCK ♪
♪ DON'T PUNCH GIRLS WE
DON'T PUNCH A CLOCK ♪
♪ WE PUNCH IT IN THE
MIX TO MARK THE BLOCK ♪
♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
♪ I THINK YOU'LL GET WITH THIS ♪ ♪
WHY? CAUSE THIS IS WHERE IT'S AT ♪
- ♪ YO, YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
- ♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
- ♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
- ♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
- ♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
- ♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
♪ I THINK THEY GET WITH THIS ♪
♪ YO, YO, YO, YO, BUST IT ♪
♪ ENGINE, ENGINE NUMBER NINE ♪
♪ ON THE NEW YORK TRANSIT LINE ♪
♪ IF MY TRAIN GOES OFF THE
TRACK PICK IT UP, PICK IT UP UP, UP ♪
♪ BACK ON THE SCENE
CRISPY AND CLEAN ♪
♪ YOU CAN TRY, BUT THEN WHY
CAUSE YOU CAN'T INTERVENE ♪
♪ YO, WE BE THE OUTCASTS
DOWN FOR THE SETTLE ♪
♪ WON'T PLAY ROCK
WON'T PLAY THE PEBBLE ♪
♪ OPEN THE DOOR YOU BEST
BELIEVE WE'RE SLIDING THROUGH THIS ♪
♪ SWIFTLY AND "NIFTILY" ♪
♪ YO, WE CAN MAKE IT
HIP TO BE WHAT WE ARE ♪
♪ 'CAUSE WHAT YOU
SEE IS THE EPITOME ♪
♪ DO TO THE DAH TO THE DIPPITY ♪
♪ YO, NOW I DWELL JUST
TO SAY TO YOU PLAINER ♪
♪ FILL YOUR CUP CAUSE
I GOT THE CONTAINER ♪
♪ PASS THE PLATTER
CROSS THE FADER ♪
♪ BLACK SHEEP GET PLAYED
LIKE THE SONY INNOVATOR ♪
♪ NEVER THE TRAITOR
A PARTY INFLATOR ♪
♪ AND YOU CAN GET
A SCOOP LATER ♪
♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
- ♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
- ♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
♪ I THINK THEY GET WITH THIS ♪ ♪
WHY? CAUSE THIS IS KIND OF FLAT ♪
♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
- ♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
- ♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
- ♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
- ♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
- ♪ I THINK YOU GET WITH THIS ♪
- ♪ CHECK IT OUT, CHECK IT OUT ♪
♪ SOMEBODY SAY "HO" ♪♪
♪ COME ON ♪♪
DO YOU ENJOY THE
FABULOUS RESORT CITIES?
ATLANTIC CITY, LAS
VEGAS, RENO, LAKE TAHOE?
DO YOU HAVE AS MUCH
FREE TIME AS I DO?
THEN WHAT ARE YOU WAITING
ON? GET YOURSELF A PLAYER'S CLUB.
YOU'LL RECEIVE UP TO 110% OFF
ON SHOWS, ROOMS AND MEALS.
WITH THE PLAYER'S CLUB,
YOU'LL GET VIP TREATMENT, BABY.
I'LL HAVE A SUITE WITH
A HEART-SHAPED BED.
I'M SORRY, WE... [Grunts]
[Rings] BELLBOY.
AND WITH THE CLUB, THERE'S
NO PROBLEM GETTIN' GOOD SEATS.
TONY, CAN YOU FIT
ME IN? NO, MAN, I'M...
BINGO. FRONT ROW.
USE THE PLAYER'S
CLUB IN CASINOS, BANKS...
OR ANYWHERE ELSE YOU WANT
TO THROW YOUR WEIGHT AROUND.
THE PLAYER'S CLUB...
IT'S A MOOCHER'S DREAM.
[Ringing] I WON, I WON, I WON!
I WON! WELL, LET ME
HELP YOU COUNT IT.
WHO CLUBS YA, BABY?
TWENTY, 40, 60,
AND ONE FOR YOU. TWENTY.
HOW YOU LIVIN'? WHAT?
HOW YOU LIVIN'? WHAT?
HOW YOU LIVIN'? ♪
IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ ANYTHING YOU WANT IS UP
TO YOU ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU FOR ME AND ME FOR
YOU ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN BE ANYTHING YOU
WANNA BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ LET'S TAKE A TRIP AND
SIP ON A DREAM ♪ ♪ YEAH ♪
♪ GLIDE WITH THE GUIDE ON A
FUNKY SCENE ♪ ♪ ALL RIGHT ♪
♪ HERE COMES ANOTHER ONE OF
THOSE FUNKY, FUNNY MO' MONEY SHOWS ♪
♪ A CAST FOR LAUGHS
AND TALENTED ROLES ♪
♪ AND SISTERS WITH TWISTERS
FOR YOU BEEN LOOKIN' LISTENER ♪
♪ IT SEEMS YOU DON'T BELIEVE SO
YOU CAN BELIEVE WHAT I CONVINCE YA ♪
♪ SOME BOOTY TO YOUR SHORT
AND THOUGHT WE'LL MAKE IT SNAPPY ♪
♪ WITH JOKES AND POKES AT
FOLKS TO KEEP YOU HAPPY ♪
♪ NO NEED TO HOLD
YOUR REMOTE CONTROL ♪
♪ CHILL THIS SHOW'S GOT SOUL ♪
♪ ALL ABOARD, ALL ABOARD
THE TRAIN NEVER TROUBLES ♪
♪ YOU'D BETTER
SNUGGLE UP COUPLE UP ♪
♪ ON THE DOUBLE-DUB-DOUBLE ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
♪ IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE BUT SOME
OF THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE ♪
♪ SO, FELLAS, GRAB YOUR GIRL
TELL HER THAT YOU LOVE HER ♪
♪ 'CAUSE THAT'S THE WAY YOU'RE LIVIN'
WHEN YOU'RE LIVIN' IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO
GO, GO, GO, GO ♪
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO
GO, GO, GO, GO ♪
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO
GO, GO, GO, GO ♪
♪ GO, GO, GO ♪
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO ♪♪
WELL, MR. PRIME MINISTER, I'D LIKE TO
APOLOGIZE AGAIN FOR GETTING SICK IN JAPAN.
ONE MINUTE, I FELT GREAT. THE
NEXT MINUTE, I WAS SPEWIN' SASHIMI.
DON'T WORRY. JAPANESE FOOD
TAKE TIME GETTING USED TO.
I ONLY HOPE I DO AS WELL
WITH AMERICAN FOOD.
I HOPE SO TOO. HEY,
THERE, SUGAR DUMPLINGS.
HOW Y'ALL DOING? HOW
CAN MAMA HELP YOU?
WELL, I KNOW THAT WE'D
ALL LIKE SOMETHING FILLING.
CHILI, PICK IT UP.
WELL, THAT DEPENDS
ON HOW HUNGRY YOU ARE.
OH, I'M SO HUNGRY, I
COULD EAT A HORSE.
OH, THAT'S COMBINATION
PLATE NUMBER FIVE.
MR. ED. PICK IT UP.
I CAN BUST A PIMPLE WITH
MY BUTT CHEEKS. [Chuckles]
I THINK WE'D LIKE TO TRY SOME,
UH, SOUL FOOD. [Woman] OH, YES.
SOUND GOOD? UH-HUH.
ALL RIGHT. PRIME MINISTER, WOULD
YOU LIKE TO TAKE A SHOT AT THE ORDER?
UH, DO YOU HAVE BLACK-EYED PEA?
OH, NOT SINCE I STOPPED
DRINKING THAT CRANBERRY JUICE.
IT CLEARED UP RIGHT AFTER THAT.
HEY, YOU LOOK
FAMILIAR. IS YOU FAMOUS?
WELL, I SUPPOSE
YOU COULD SAY THAT.
OH, I KNEW IT. I SEE YOUR
FACE ALL OVER THE PLACE.
REALLY? YEAH, ON THAT OATMEAL
BOX. YOU'RE QUAKER OATS.
HEY, FRANCIS. WE GOT OURSELVES
A CELEBRITY IN THE HOUSE.
OH. LORD HAVE MERCY. AIN'T THAT NICE.
LAST TIME WE HAD SOMEBODY FAMOUS...
WAS WHEN THAT LITTLE GARY COLEMAN
RAN OFF WITHOUT PAYING HIS CHECK.
ASK HER IF SHE KNOW UNCLE BEN.
I SEEN OPRAH'S BOOTY.
WHO SAID HE WANTED
OKRA? PICK IT UP.
ACTUALLY, I AM BARBARA BUSH AND THIS
IS MY HUSBAND, PRESIDENT GEORGE BUSH.
HI, EVERYONE. OH.
HEY, PRESIDENT.
WELL, WHAT BRINGS YOU DOWN HERE?
WELL, I JUST THINK IT'S A
GOOD IDEA TO GET IN TOUCH...
WITH ALL THE LITTLE
POINTS OF LIGHT.
YOU CAN'T SERVE THE COUNTRY UNLESS
YOU KNOW WHAT THE COUNTRY WANTS.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT
THE COUNTRY WANTS.
STOP MESSIN' WITH THE BLACKS
AND GIVE US A BREAK ON TAX.
STOP HOGGIN' UP ALL THE WEALTH
AND GIVE US A CUT ON HEALTH.
STOP FLYIN' ALL AROUND
AND KEEP YOUR ASS IN TOWN.
YOU DON'T LIKE THAT,
YOU CAN KISS MY BUTT.
THAT'S MY ADVICE.
NOW PICK IT UP.
I HATE TO SAY, BUT I
TOLD YOU SO. [Chuckling]
ENOUGH TALK. LET'S JUST
DO THE ORDERING, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT, MAMA. TELL YOU WHAT,
EVERYTHING LOOKS JUST FABULOUS.
UH, WHY DON'T YOU SURPRISE US?
OKAY, DUMPLING. WE GOT
THREE SURPRISES, COMING UP.
- UH, THREE SURPRISES.
- UH, THREE SURPRISES. UH, PICK IT UP.
PICK IT UP. PICK IT UP.
OKAY, NOW WHY DON'T YOU MOVE ON OUT OF
MY WAY OR MAMA'S GONNA HAVE TO SPANK YOU.
- WHAT YOU...
- IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.
CEASE FIRE. CEASE FIRE.
DON'T MAKE MAMA HAVE
TO HURT YOU. CEASE FIRE.
I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID.
AMERICANS NOT LAZY AT ALL.
HE WORK VERY HARD.
HATE TO SAY I TOLD
YOU SO. [Chuckles]
- HERE YOU GO, BABIES.
- OH, MY GOODNESS. NOW WHAT'S THIS?
THAT'S GUMBO. GOT A LITTLE
BIT OF EVERYTHING IN IT.
LOVELY. DO YOU SERVE CRACKERS?
OH, BABY, WE SERVE
ANYBODY HERE. THAT'S RIGHT.
NO, I MEAN, DO YOU
SERVE SALTED CRACKERS?
OH, YES I DO. HERE YOU GO.
THERE YOU GO, BABY.
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME
SARDINES WITH THAT? OH, NO. NO.
THAT'S FINE. THIS
WILL BE PERFECT.
OH. SHALL WE, UH...
SHALL WE GIVE IT A TRY?
YOU KNOW, THIS ISN'T BAD.
IT TASTES LIKE MISO SOUP.
MINE'S DELICIOUS.
I'M, UH... HMM, THAT'S STRANGE.
KIND OF A GRAINY CONSISTENCY.
SEEMS TO BE SOMETHING
FLOATING AROUND...
OH, MY GOODNESS. I THINK I JUST
SWALLOWED SOMETHING FOUL.
MAMA. YEAH, BABY?
I THINK THERE'S
SOMETHING IN THE SOUP.
OH, LET ME SEE.
OH, FRANCIS, I FOUND
YOUR BREAST IMPLANT.
LOOK AT THAT. I THOUGHT
THAT WAS GONE FOR SURE.
OH, GOD. I FEEL AWFUL.
WAFFLE. PICK IT UP.
I THINK I'M GONNA...
REGURGITATE.
BURGER PLATE. PICK IT UP.
READ MY LIPS.
[Vomiting] OH,
GEORGE, NOT AGAIN.
BAG OF CHIPS. PICK IT UP.
[Vomiting] I HAVEN'T SEEN GEORGE
THIS SICK SINCE OUR HONEYMOON.
HE LOOK LIKE MT. PINATUBO.
DON'T THINK JUST CAUSE
YOU DIDN'T DIGEST IT...
THAT YOU AIN'T
GOT TO PAY FOR IT.
WHAT IS... LUTHER!
LUTHER, GET A BUCKET!
THIS THING IS RUNNIN'
ALL OVER THE PLACE.
I AIN'T GONNA WIPE
NO VOMIT OFF HIS FACE.
BUCKWHEAT WAS A GENIUS.
HELLO, EVERYONE. MAY I
HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE?
I WOULD LIKE TO THANK
YOU FOR COMING...
AND WELCOME YOU TO MY EXHIBIT
ENTITLED SEPTEMBER FEELINGS.
THE FIRST PAINTING I WOULD
LIKE TO DRAW YOUR ATTENTION TO...
IS ONE I AM VERY PROUD OF.
AND I CALL IT SUN
ON MY SHOULDERS.
[Whistle Blowing]
LOOK AWAY, PEOPLE!
IT'S NOT TOO LATE!
IT'S JUST A BAD DREAM, KIDS,
AND I AM YOUR WAKE-UP CALL.
SHIELD YOUR EYES
FROM THIS VULGARITY.
IT'S TIME TO ACT UP.
HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE,
YOU CRAZY PERSON? SECURITY!
YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH
YOU? IT'S ONLY A PAINTING.
ONLY A PAINTING? SMOKE SCREEN, SMOKE
SCREEN, SO THE TRUTH CANNOT BE SEEN!
LET'S LOOK AT IT FROM A LITTLE
DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE, SHALL WE?
GIVE IT A LITTLE TWIST, AND
BINGO, IT'S A BIG OLD TUSH.
THIS IS NOT SUN ON MY
SHOULDER. IT'S MOON IN YOUR FACE.
IF YOU DON'T MIND, WE'D
JUST LIKE TO SEE THE EXHIBIT.
WELL.
ISN'T THAT MAKEUP ON YOUR
FACE VERY INTERESTING?
WAS IT TESTED ON LITTLE ANIMALS,
LITTLE DEFENSELESS ONES IN CAGES?
THIS MEAN ANYTHING TO
YOU? "OW, OW, OW!" HUH?
MAYBE SOMEWHERE THERE'S A HAMSTER,
YOU KNOW, WITH PURPLE EYE SHADOW...
SUFFERING AND CHOKING
AND FALLING OFF HIS WHEEL...
SO YOU CAN LOOK LIKE
CLEOPATRA, VIVISECTIONIST.
I SWEAR,
I AM GOING TO WAKE
THESE PEOPLE UP TODAY...
OR MY NAME ISN'T KIRT SINJIN.
THIS IS INTRIGUING.
I BELIEVE THE WORD
IS "EVIL," PEOPLE.
EVIL!
THIS WILL COME IN REAL HANDY
WHEN THEY REDECORATE HELL.
CAN'T YOU JUST FEEL THE DARKNESS,
THE DARK FORCES WORKING WITHIN IT?
IT'S ENOUGH TO
MAKE A NUN GO BALD.
THIS PIECE REPRESENTS
MAN'S ETERNAL QUEST...
TO DESTROY THE ALASKAN KING
CRAB IN ITS NATURAL HABITAT.
EITHER THAT OR IT'S JUST A
BIG UGLY EYE AND I HATE IT.
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING TO MY PAINTING?
I'M GIVING IT A STY.
STOP IT, YOU IDIOT! STOP IT!
IT TOOK ME FOUR HOURS TO CREATE A
GREAT PIECE OF ART AND YOU'VE RUINED IT.
I'VE SEEN BETTER ART IN THE
BATHROOM AT SIZZLER, HONEY.
CULTURAL MORON!
I SWEAR, I COULD JUST PARK MY
NAILS IN YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW.
GO AHEAD AND TRY IT. I DARE YOU.
AND WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE?
THAT'S A LIGHT FIXTURE. SHUT UP.
WE'RE SENDING OUT THE
WRONG SIGNALS, PEOPLE.
WHAT IS THIS SCULPTURE
SAYING TO THE CHILDREN?
IS THIS WHAT THEY
HAVE TO MEASURE UP TO?
"HEY, KIDS. YOU'RE NOBODY UNLESS
YOU'RE PART OF THE HIP-TORSO CROWD."
NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THEY'RE
LOPPING OFF THEIR APPENDAGES.
LISTEN TO ME.
THIS CANNOT HAPPEN, PEOPLE.
WE ARE SETTING AN
IMPOSSIBLE STANDARD HERE.
HELP ME, PLEASE.
SOMEONE REACH OUT.
DANGER, DANGER!
DR. SMITH, DR. SMITH!
I'M TELLING YOU FOR THE LAST
TIME. WILL YOU REMOVE YOURSELF...
FROM MY BEAUTIFUL SCULPTURE
AND FROM THIS GALLERY?
I'M NOT MOVING UNTIL THIS
PIECE OF DRECK IS DESTROYED.
OR AT LEAST TILL ITS
DOODLE IS COVERED.
STOP IT!
THAT IS A BEAUTIFUL
PIECE OF ART.
I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU
THINK OF ME, HANDSOME.
I HAVE A QUEST.
VANISH!
- WHAT IS THIS LITTLE DISPLAY?
- IT'S MY LUNCH.
WELL, NICE USE OF
COLOR AND COMPOSITION.
WHAT'S INSIDE? [Gasps]
IT'S BEEF.
SOMEBODY CATCH ME.
THANKS A LOT.
WHAT AM I, NUCLEAR WASTE?
DOESN'T ANYBODY CARE?
YOU PEOPLE ARE REALLY SOMETHING.
WELL, I'M SORRY
TO DISAPPOINT YOU.
BUT I AM JUST NOT
GOING TO GO AWAY.
I AM REAL, I AM SIGNIFICANT AND I
AM GOING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
EXCUSE ME, DOES ANYBODY
BELONG TO THAT MOPED OUT THERE?
YES. GETS ME FROM "A" TO "B."
SO WHAT?
SO SOMEBODY
BACKED OVER IT. SORRY.
WELL, WHY DON'T WE JUST FRAME
IT AND STICK IT ON THE WALL?
IT'LL BE PROOF
THAT I ONCE EXISTED.
THEY'RE TRYING TO
SILENCE US, PEOPLE.
IT'S TIME TO ACT UP.
[Blowing Whistle]
WILL YOU JUST GET RID
OF HIM? I DON'T CARE HOW.
EXCESSIVE FORCE!
EXCESSIVE FORCE!
YOU'RE ALL WITNESSES!
THIS IS BALDERDASH!
IT WASN'T FUNNY!
ALL RIGHT, CHILDREN.
TAKE YOUR SEATS. COME ON.
YOUR TEACHER, MRS. WALKER, WON'T BE
HERE TODAY, BUT WE HAVE A TREAT FOR YOU.
YEAH! [Shouting] WHAT IS IT?
A VERY SPECIAL
SUBSTITUTE TEACHER.
SO I WANT YOU ALL TO BE
AT YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR.
OKAY. OKAY. OKAY.
[All Yelling, Shouting]
[No Audible Dialogue]
SIT DOWN.
ALL RIGHT, CHILDRENS. MY
NAME IS HOMEY D. CLOWN.
[All] YEAH!
HERE, MR. CLOWN.
IT'S AN APPLE FOR YOU.
OH, ISN'T THAT SWEET? LOOK,
CHILDRENS. AN APPLE FOR THE TEACHER.
[Girl] OH, THAT'S NICE.
IN OTHER WORDS, YOU
TRYIN' TO WIN MY AFFECTION
AND BECOME THE
TEACHER'S PET, AIN'T YOU?
UH-HUH. "UH-HUH."
OKAY, SO WHAT DO Y'ALL WANT
TO DO FIRST, LITTLE CHILDREN?
I KNOW! I KNOW WHAT
WE CAN DO, MR. HOMEY!
WE COULD, UH,
FINGER PAINT! YEAH.
OH, Y'ALL WANT TO FINGER
PAINT, HUH? COME ON. YEAH!
LET ME SHOW YOU HOW THE MAN
FINGER PAINTS. COME HERE. OKAY.
OH. THERE YOU GO.
THAT'S NOT VERY PRETTY.
DAMN RIGHT, IT AIN'T.
AND BY THE LOOKS OF YOUR FACE,
NEITHER IS YOUR MAMA. NOW SIT DOWN!
OH, OH. MR. HOMEY.
M-MR. HOMEY. MR. HOMEY.
I WANNA BE A FIREMAN
WHEN I GROW UP.
OH, MAN-MAN-MAN,
THAT AIN'T NOTHING.
I WANNA BE A PILOT
WHEN I GROW UP.
NO, I'M GONNA WORK
FOR THE GOVERNMENT.
YOU MEAN, LIKE
MAKING LAWS? YEAH.
AND HANDING OUT
GOVERNMENT CHEESE? YEAH.
AND SIGNING BILLS AND RAISING
HOMEY'S TAXES? YEAH, YEAH.
SO ONCE AGAIN HOMEY HAS TO GIVE
UP ALL THE THINGS HE LOVES IN LIFE?
YEAH.
I DON'T THINK SO.
JUST GETTING MY LICKS IN
NOW BEFORE YOU SELL OUT.
ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH OF
ALL THE FUN, CHILDRENS.
'CAUSE I'M ABOUT TO
EXPLODE WITH JOY.
IT'S TIME FOR THE READING LESSON.
LET'S START WITH THE LETTER "A."
[Girl] OH, "A."
"A" IS FOR ARRESTED. CAN ANYONE MAKE
A SENTENCE WITH THE WORD "ARRESTED"?
OH, OH, OH. I CAN. AH, AH, AH.
GO AHEAD.
SINCE YOU HAVE SO
MUCH "A" ATTITUDE,
I THINK THAT HOMEY HAS
BEEN ARRESTED BEFORE.
THAT'S VERY GOOD. THAT
TAKES US TO THE LETTER "B."
"B" BECAUSE YOU GOT
SUCH A SMART MOUTH,
I'M GONNA BAP YOU
UPSIDE YOUR DAMN HEAD.
THAT TAKES US TO THE LETTER "C."
"C" IS FOR CONSPIRACY.
CAN ANYBODY TELL ME
WHAT "CONSPIRACY" IS?
YEAH, I CAN TELL YOU. MY
DAD SAYS "CONSPIRACY"
IS JUST A WORD THAT
BLACK PEOPLE USE...
AS AN EXCUSE FOR WHY THEY
ALWAYS GET IN SO MUCH TROUBLE.
THANK YOU, BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
SEE, THAT TAKES US
TO THE LETTER "D."
AND "D" IS FOR YOUR
DUMB-ASS DADDY.
THIS IS FOR YOU. AND THAT'S
FOR YOUR DUMB-ASS DADDY.
I'LL TELL HIM WHEN I GET HOME.
MR. HOMEY. MR-MR. HOMEY.
MRS. WALKER DON'T TEACH US THE
ALPHABET THAT WAY. SHE SURE DON'T.
THAT'S BECAUSE MRS.
WALKER IS "D" DEAD. [Girl] SHE IS?
CAN ANYBODY MAKE A
SENTENCE WITH "DEAD"?
NO! [Sobbing]
OKAY, LITTLE CHILDRENS.
LET'S PLAY ANOTHER GAME.
BIG KID, BIG KID, STAND UP AND
BE MY VOLUNTEER. SURE, HOMEY!
NOW, HOMEY HAS FIVE DOLLARS.
[Woman] WOW! IF BILLY TOOK
TWO, WHAT WOULD HE HAVE?
UH...
THREE DOLLARS, HOMEY!
NO. A SIZE-12 CLOWN
SHOE ON YOUR ASS.
GIVE ME MY MONEY
BACK. NOW SIT DOWN.
OKAY, IT'S TIME FOR
HOMEY'S SING-ALONG.
REPEAT AFTER ME,
WILL YOU? YEAH. YES.
- ♪ HOMEY'S TIRED ♪
- ♪ HOMEY'S TIRED ♪
- ♪ OF THE MAN ♪
- ♪ OF THE MAN ♪
- ♪ ALWAYS PULLS HIM OVER ♪
- ♪ ALWAYS PULLS HIM OVER ♪
♪ SHOULD RUN HIS WHITE ASS OVER
'CAUSE IF I DID, I'D GO BACK ON PROBATION ♪
♪ AND THEN THEY'D PUT ME
AWAY FOR SOME MORE TIME ♪
♪ TAKE ME AWAY AND LOCK ME UP ♪
♪ AND THEN DO EVERYTHING I DON'T WANT TO
DO AND I CAN STAY IN THE CELL WITH BUBBA ♪
COME ON, BACK ME UP, Y'ALL.
♪♪ [All Singing, Indistinct]
♪ AND THEY'LL PULL HIM AND THEN
THEY'LL RUSH OVER TO THE CAR ♪
♪ THEY'LL PUT YOU IN JAIL AND THEN YOU
HAVE TO BE WITH A MAN NAMED BUBBA ♪♪
THIS AIN'T STAR SEARCH.
SO, LITTLE CHILDRENS, WHAT
HAVE WE LEARNED, IF NOTHING ELSE?
[All] THAT HOMEY
DON'T PLAY THAT!
VERY GOOD. NOW LET'S PLAY HOOKY
AND GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.
YO. STRAIGHT OFF THE DEBUT
ALBUM A WOLF IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING,
HERE TO PERFORM
"THE CHOICE IS YOURS"...
PLEASE WELCOME FLAVOR UNIT'S
LATEST ADDITION, BLACK SHEEP.
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
YO, IS IN LIVING
COLOR IN THE HOUSE?
- ♪ COME ON, COME ON ♪
- ♪ THROW YOUR HANDS
IN THE AIR ♪
- ♪ COME ON, COME ON ♪
- ♪ THROW YOUR HANDS
IN THE AIR ♪
- ♪ COME ON, COME ON ♪
- ♪ THROW YOUR HANDS
IN THE AIR ♪
♪ NOW SAY "YEAH" JUMP ♪ ♪ JUMP ♪
♪ WHO'S A BLACK SHEEP
WHAT'S A BLACK SHEEP ♪
♪ KNOW NOT WHO I AM OR
WHEN I'M COMING SO YOU SLEEP ♪
♪ WAS IT IN MY REALM OR
WAS IT IN YOUR SPHERE ♪
♪ KNEW NOT WHO I
WAS BUT LISTEN HERE ♪
♪ DRES, D-R-E-S YES,
I GUESS I CAN START ♪
♪ IF IT'S ALL RIGHT WITH YOU
I'LL RIP THIS HERE JOINT APART ♪
♪ BACK, MIDDLE TO THE
FRONT DON'T FRONT ♪
♪ WANT A GOOD TIME? I WANNA
GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT ♪
♪ CAN I HEAR A "HEY"? ♪
♪ HEY ♪
♪ GET A "YO"? ♪
♪ YO ♪
♪ YOU GOT A PICK?
IT'S FOR YOUR FRO ♪
♪ THE STYLING IS CREATIVE
BLACK SHEEP OF THE NATIVE ♪
♪ YOU CAN'T BE VIOLATED
OR EVEN "DECEPTICATED" ♪
♪ I GOT BROTHERS IN THE
JUNGLE COUSINS ON THE QUEST ♪
♪ DEAF RETARDED UNCLES
IN PARTIES MAY THEY REST ♪
♪ GUESS: WHICH WAY
WHAT, WHEN, HOW ♪
♪ MISTA LAWNGE ♪ ♪ MISTA LAWNGE,
DRES BLACK SHEEP, SLAM NOW ♪
♪ KNOW YOU HEARD THE
OTHERS PHONIES TO THE LOVERS ♪
♪ THEN OF COURSE
THE CHOICE IS YOURS ♪
- ♪ YO, YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
- ♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
- ♪ I THINK THEY GET WITH THIS ♪
- ♪ WHY? CAUSE THIS IS
WHERE IT'S AT ♪
♪ YO, YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
- ♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
- ♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
♪ I THINK YOU GET WITH THIS 'CAUSE
THIS IS WHERE IT'S AT ♪ ♪ WHY? ♪
♪ WHERE'S THE BLACK SHEEP
HERE'S THE BLACK SHEEP ♪
♪ EVEN IF WE WANTED TO THE
FLOCK COULD NOT BE WEAK ♪
♪ WATCH ME SWING LIKE THIS
WHY SHOULD I SWING IT LIKE THAT? ♪
♪ BECAUSE IN FACT ON
ME IT MIGHT NOT ATTRACT ♪
♪ THEREFORE I IGNORE
DO AS I FEEL INSIDE ♪
♪ I LIVE WITH ME I GOT
MY BACK TONIGHT ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
YO, BLACK, I'M NOT PLAYING ♪
♪ NEED TO GET WITH THIS AND
GET WITH THIS WITH NO DELAYING ♪
♪ SEE, IN ACTUALITY ♪
♪ YOU WONDER CAN IT BE I MADE
IT LOOK EASY BECAUSE IT ISN'T ME ♪
♪ ANY TIME CAPACITY WAS
FILLED TRIED TO ROCK ♪
♪ ANY TIME A HONEY GAVE
ME PLAY I TRIED TO KNOCK IT ♪
♪ NEVER WAS A FOOL
SO WE FINISHED SCHOOL ♪
♪ YOU NEVER SEE US SWEAT
YO, YOU NEVER SEE US DROOL ♪
♪ OUT TO ROCK THE GLOBE
WHILE IT'S STILL HERE TO ROCK ♪
♪ KIDS OWN THE JOCK
BUT THE MOCK IS A CROCK ♪
♪ DON'T PUNCH GIRLS WE
DON'T PUNCH A CLOCK ♪
♪ WE PUNCH IT IN THE
MIX TO MARK THE BLOCK ♪
♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
♪ I THINK YOU'LL GET WITH THIS ♪ ♪
WHY? CAUSE THIS IS WHERE IT'S AT ♪
- ♪ YO, YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
- ♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
- ♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
- ♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
- ♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
- ♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
♪ I THINK THEY GET WITH THIS ♪
♪ YO, YO, YO, YO, BUST IT ♪
♪ ENGINE, ENGINE NUMBER NINE ♪
♪ ON THE NEW YORK TRANSIT LINE ♪
♪ IF MY TRAIN GOES OFF THE
TRACK PICK IT UP, PICK IT UP UP, UP ♪
♪ BACK ON THE SCENE
CRISPY AND CLEAN ♪
♪ YOU CAN TRY, BUT THEN WHY
CAUSE YOU CAN'T INTERVENE ♪
♪ YO, WE BE THE OUTCASTS
DOWN FOR THE SETTLE ♪
♪ WON'T PLAY ROCK
WON'T PLAY THE PEBBLE ♪
♪ OPEN THE DOOR YOU BEST
BELIEVE WE'RE SLIDING THROUGH THIS ♪
♪ SWIFTLY AND "NIFTILY" ♪
♪ YO, WE CAN MAKE IT
HIP TO BE WHAT WE ARE ♪
♪ 'CAUSE WHAT YOU
SEE IS THE EPITOME ♪
♪ DO TO THE DAH TO THE DIPPITY ♪
♪ YO, NOW I DWELL JUST
TO SAY TO YOU PLAINER ♪
♪ FILL YOUR CUP CAUSE
I GOT THE CONTAINER ♪
♪ PASS THE PLATTER
CROSS THE FADER ♪
♪ BLACK SHEEP GET PLAYED
LIKE THE SONY INNOVATOR ♪
♪ NEVER THE TRAITOR
A PARTY INFLATOR ♪
♪ AND YOU CAN GET
A SCOOP LATER ♪
♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
- ♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
- ♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
♪ I THINK THEY GET WITH THIS ♪ ♪
WHY? CAUSE THIS IS KIND OF FLAT ♪
♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
- ♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
- ♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
- ♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS ♪
- ♪ OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪
- ♪ I THINK YOU GET WITH THIS ♪
- ♪ CHECK IT OUT, CHECK IT OUT ♪
♪ SOMEBODY SAY "HO" ♪♪
♪ COME ON ♪♪