In Living Color (1990–1994): Season 3, Episode 10 - My Left Foot of Fury - full transcript
I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY
YOU BROUGHT ME HERE TODAY.
WELL, HONEY, YOU'RE
OLDER NOW AND MAMA THINKS
IT'S TIME TO SHOW YOU
SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL.
TA-DA! WOW, LOOK
AT ALL THESE NAMES.
THESE MUST BE THE NAMES OF PEOPLE WHO
DONATED MONEY TO KEEP THE PARK BEAUTIFUL.
HMM, NOT EXACTLY. THEN THESE
MUST BE THE 1,000 POINTS OF LIGHT.
NO, MISSY. THESE 20,000 NAMES ARE THE
WOMEN WHO'VE SLEPT WITH WILT CHAMBERLAIN.
YOU MEAN THERE'S A
MONUMENT TO THAT?
HONEY, THAT'S JUST THE TIP OF THE
ICEBERG. YOU SEE THAT NAME UP THERE?
MOM! THAT'S RIGHT.
ME. ME! [Laughs]
MOM, THAT'S GREAT.
OH! YOU NEVER CEASE TO AMAZE ME.
WELL, HONEY, YOU KNOW,
ONE OF THESE DAYS MAYBE YOU'LL
GET LUCKY AND YOU'LL MEET WILT,
AND THEN YOUR NAME WILL
BE ON THE WALL OF FAME.
WELL, THANKS ALL
THE SAME, BUT, UH...
I'VE ALREADY BEEN THERE, HOMIE.
YOU LITTLE RASCAL.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME
WHY THEM CALL HIM THE STILT.
[Both Laugh, Squeal]
OH, GIRL. OH, I GUESS MY LITTLE
GIRL'S A FULL-GROWN SKEEZER.
HOW YOU LIVIN'? WHAT?
HOW YOU LIVIN'? WHAT?
HOW YOU LIVIN'? ♪
IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ ANYTHING YOU WANT IS UP
TO YOU ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU FOR ME AND ME FOR
YOU ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN BE ANYTHING YOU
WANNA BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ LET'S TAKE A TRIP AND
SIP ON A DREAM ♪ ♪ YEAH ♪
♪ GLIDE WITH THE GUIDE ON A
FUNKY SCENE ♪ ♪ ALL RIGHT ♪
♪ HERE COMES ANOTHER ONE OF
THOSE FUNKY, FUNNY MO' MONEY SHOWS ♪
♪ A CAST FOR LAUGHS
AND TALENTED ROLES ♪
♪ AND SISTERS WITH TWISTERS
FOR YOU BEEN LOOKIN' LISTENER ♪
♪ IT SEEMS YOU DON'T BELIEVE SO
YOU CAN BELIEVE WHAT I CONVINCE YA ♪
♪ SOME BOOTY TO YOUR SHORT
AND THOUGHT WE'LL MAKE IT SNAPPY ♪
♪ WITH JOKES AND POKES AT
FOLKS TO KEEP YOU HAPPY ♪
♪ NO NEED TO HOLD
YOUR REMOTE CONTROL ♪
♪ CHILL THIS SHOW'S GOT SOUL ♪
♪ ALL ABOARD, ALL ABOARD
THE TRAIN NEVER TROUBLES ♪
♪ YOU'D BETTER
SNUGGLE UP COUPLE UP ♪
♪ ON THE DOUBLE-DUB-DOUBLE ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
♪ IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE BUT SOME
OF THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE ♪
♪ SO, FELLAS, GRAB YOUR GIRL
TELL HER THAT YOU LOVE HER ♪
♪ 'CAUSE THAT'S THE WAY YOU'RE LIVIN'
WHEN YOU'RE LIVIN' IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO
GO, GO, GO, GO ♪
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO
GO, GO, GO, GO ♪
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO
GO, GO, GO, GO ♪
♪ GO, GO, GO ♪
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO ♪♪
[Man] CHRISTY BROWN, THE
HERO FROM MY LEFT FOOT, IS BACK,
AND HE'S NOT JUST KICKIN' HIS
HANDICAP, HE'S KICKIN' SOME ASS...
AS IRELAND'S CHAMPION
KICKBOXER IN MY LEFT FOOT OF FURY.
[Yells]
- 'NOTHER PINT THERE, CHRISTY?
- NOT TONIGHT, REG. I'M WHEELIN'.
- I SAID NO!
- HEY! LEAVE HER ALONE.
WHO'S GONNA MAKE ME?
- I AM.
- AND WHO'S GONNA
HELP YA, GIMPY?
I AM.
VAN DAMME, BRASS KNUCKLES.
[Man] REUNITED WITH HIS BELGIAN
BROTHER, JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME,
HE'S PUTTING HIS FOOT
DOWN WHERE IT COUNTS.
VAN DAMME, NUNCHAKUS.
[Karate Yells]
[Yells Continue]
ANYBODY ELSE WANT
SOME? HUH? HUH?
[Yells, Grunts]
VAN DAMME.
WHEELBARROW. WHEELBARROW.
DAMN IT, I LOVE A GOOD FIGHT.
[Man] CHRISTY BROWN,
JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME,
KICKING INTO HIGH GEAR
IN MY LEFT FOOT OF FURY.
YOU DON'T KNOW
HOW TO MAKE NO LOVE.
BOY, I KNOW HOW TO
MAKE LOVE TO A WOMAN.
I MIGHT BE OLD. I MAY NOT BE
ABLE TO RIDE 'EM LIKE I USED TO,
BUT I CAN STILL FIT
THE SADDLE. [Laughs]
HEY, WHAT'S UP? HEY THERE.
HOW YOU DOIN', YOUNG MAN?
THAT'S A NICE TIE YOU GOT THERE.
THANK YOU. HANGIN' IN THERE,
HUH? HOW LONG THE WAIT?
WELL, SEE, IT'S TWO HOURS
IF YOU WANT TO GET WITH ME,
BUT YOU CAN GO RIGHT UP IN
MAC'S CHAIR IF YOU WANT TO.
- THAT'S OKAY. I'LL COME BACK LATER.
- ALL RIGHT. THAT'S A SMART MAN.
OH, NO. HERE HE COMES.
MOVE YOUR FEET, SUCKER!
BOY, YOU GOT EARS?
MOVE YOUR DAMN FEET.
HEY, MAN. WHAT'S YOUR
PROBLEM? WHAT YOU SAY, SUCKER?
- I SAID, "WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?"
- FINE, AND YOU?
YOU KNOW HE CAN'T
HEAR YA, DON'T YA?
HE DEAF AS A SWAMP
RAT. WATCH THIS.
- MAC, DID YOU CHANGE
YOUR DRAWERS YESTERDAY?
- WHAT YOU SAY, SUCKER?
I SAID, DID YOU CHANGE YOUR
STINKY DRAWERS YESTERDAY?
NO, THANK YOU. YOU KNOW
I DON'T EAT NO CHITLINS.
SEE WHAT I MEAN? HE'S
JUST AS DEAF AS HE WANNA BE.
WHY DOESN'T HE
GET A HEARING AID?
OH, HE CAN HEAR
WHEN HE WANNA HEAR.
IF IT'S SOMETHIN' IMPORTANT FOR
HIM, HE CAN HEAR THAT. WATCH THIS.
[Whispers] NOW WHEN MAC LEAVES,
WE GONNA DRINK UP ALL HIS BOURBON.
Y'ALL BETTER NOT TOUCH MY
LIQUOR, OR SOMEBODY GONNA GET CUT!
SEE, HE CAN HEAR. YOU AIN'T
GONNA CUT NOBODY UP IN HERE, MAN.
SEE WHAT I MEAN? [Laughs]
YO, WHAT'S UP, MONEY?
HOW YOU DOIN', SON? I AIN'T GOT NO
MONEY FOR YA, BUT I CAN CUT YOUR HAIR.
HEY, MAN. WHAT'S THE WAIT
LIKE UP IN HERE? I NEED A CUT BAD.
YOU DO NEED ONE.
BUT CHECK THIS OUT.
ALL THESE PEOPLE
HERE ARE WAITIN' ON ME,
BUT YOU CAN GO FIRST UP
IN MAC'S CHAIR, IF YOU WANT.
BET. I'LL SIT IN
MAC'S CHAIR. [Laughs]
YOU NEW HERE, AIN'T
YA? YEAH. HOW YOU KNOW?
JUST A LUCKY GUESS.
POOR THING.
WHAT YOU WANT, YOUNG MAN? I
JUST WANT A TRIM. JUST TRIM IT UP...
TAKE IT ALL OFF?
NAH, I WANT A TRIM.
EAST COAST OR WEST COAST?
NAH, I JUST WANT A TRIM...
YOU WANT A TAIL IN THE
BACK? I DON'T WANT NO TAIL...
YOU WANT INITIALS RIGHT
ACROSS THE BACK? NO, MAN.
YOU DON'T WANT YOUR NAME
ACROSS THE BACK? I JUST WANT A TRIM...
POINT TO THE WALL
WHAT YOU WANT, SUCKER.
RIGHT THERE. THE DUDE
WITH THE LITTLE EARS.
ONE GLOBETROTTER COMIN' UP!
[Coughs]
[Clippers Buzzing]
HOLD S... OUCH, MAN!
WHAT'D YOU SAY, SUCKER? I
SAID, "OUCH, MAN." THAT HURT.
SO YOU DO WANT THE TAIL IN
THE BACK? YO. WHAT DID YOU...
WHAT... LET ME SEE WHAT YOU
DID TO MY HAIR. HOLD STILL, NOW.
LET ME SEE WHAT YOU DID
TO MY HAIR. JUST CALM DOWN.
[Coughing]
OUCH, MAN!
TEN DOLLARS. YO, MAN. I
AIN'T GIVIN' YOU NOTHIN'.
YOU MUST BE CRAZY, MAN.
WHERE'S MY TIP, SUCKER?
TIP? I'LL BREAK THE TIP OF MY
SHOE OFF IN YOUR OLD CRAZY ASS.
COME ON, BOY.
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
MY NAME IS BENNY,
AND I'M AN ALCOHOLIC.
HI, BENNY. HELLO, BENNY.
[Woman] WELCOME, BENNY. WHOO!
I AM GLAD TO SAY THAT I HAVEN'T
HAD A DRINK OF ALCOHOL IN SIX MONTHS.
- THAT'S GREAT.
- YEAH!
DON'T FRET, MON TOUPEE. FRENCHIE
HAS ARRIVÉ AND IT IS TIME TO PAR-TAY!
♪ I JUST WANNA PARTY SOMETIME ♪
♪ PARTY SOMETIME
PARTY SOMETIME ♪♪
COME ON, BENNY. DO THE FUNKY
PENGUIN WITH ME. GET OFF...
OH, NO. NOT AGAIN, FRENCHIE.
HOW DID YOU FIND ME?
OH, MAN. IT WASN'T EASY,
MON FRIEND GREY POUPON.
I FOLLOWED YOU OUT OF THAT PORNO
SHOP DOWN THERE ON CAHUENGA,
AND I KNEW YOU HAD
TO BE GOIN' TO A PARTY,
ELSE YOU WOULDN'T HAVE
BOUGHT THAT BLOW-UP DOLL.
GET YOUR SHARECROPPIN'
HANDS OFF OF ME! EXCUSE ME.
EXCUSE ME, BUT I'M AFRAID YOU
HAVE THE WRONG PLACE. THIS IS A.A.
OH, THAT'S A GOOD THING, 'CAUSE MY
CAR BROKE DOWN ABOUT SIX BLOCKS.
I THINK IT MIGHT HAVE
BEEN THE BATTERY,
BUT IT SURE WAS HARD TO
DRIVE WITH THAT BOOT ON.
KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
NOT TRIPLE "A". THIS IS A MEETING
FOR ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
YOU'RE NOT ANONYMOUS.
THERE'S RICHIE, THERE'S
BENNY, JANICE... HI, JANICE.
GET OUT OF HERE! GET
OUT OF HERE, FRENCHIE!
NO, WAIT A MINUTE. I AM THE
GROUP LEADER. SIT DOWN!
NOW, EVERYBODY IS WELCOME TO STAY,
AND ANYBODY WITH AN OUTFIT ON LIKE THAT...
IS IN DIRE NEED OF ASSISTANCE.
HEY, ANY WOMAN WITH A WIG GOT
NERVE TALKIN' ABOUT MY OUTFIT.
GOT SOME NERVE, THERE.
NOW, WHO'S NEXT?
JENNY, YOU GO NEXT.
GO, JENNY.
HI, UM... WELL...
[Clears Throat]
I REMEMBER WHEN I KNEW
I HAD HIT ROCK BOTTOM.
I LEFT WORK AND WENT
STRAIGHT TO A BAR. [Clears Throat]
AND THE NEXT THING
I KNEW, I WAS IN A...
A GREMLIN WITH SOME...
SOME GREASY-LOOKING
GUY I HAD NEVER SEEN,
AND I HAD MY... DRESS
UP OVER MY HEAD,
AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE
MY WEDDING RING IS. [Sobs]
WELL, I'LL BE JEAN
NATÉED. THAT WAS YOU?
WELL, BABY, I PAWNED YOUR WEDDING
RING, BUT I BROUGHT YOUR DRAWERS BACK.
HERE YOU GO, BABY.
OH, I KNOW.
THIS IS WHAT CAN HAPPEN FROM
ALCOHOL! OH, THAT WASN'T ALCOHOL, BABY.
♪ THAT WAS A JUST
A LOVE MACHINE ♪
♪ AND HE WON'T WORK
IT FOR NOBODY BUT YOU ♪
SIR, I DON'T THINK
YOU UNDERSTAND.
WE ARE ALCOHOLICS. UH-HUH?
I WAS ONCE UP TO TWO
BOTTLES OF J&B A DAY.
I DON'T KNOW HOW
LONG I CAN STAY DRY.
HEY, MAN, THAT AIN'T
NOTHIN'. I WAS UP TO
THREE AND A HALF BOTTLES
OF T.C.B. LIGHT A DAY.
I SWITCHED OVER TO AFRO
SHEEN, AND I'M NEVER DRY.
[Screams]
BUDDY, YOU JUST DON'T GET IT.
I DRANK MYSELF OUT OF A
JOB, A MARRIAGE AND A HOME.
HEY, MAN. DON'T FEEL BAD. MY MAMA TOLD
ME WHEN I WAS SIX, I DRANK OUT THE TOILET.
LOOK, LOOK. FRENCHIE.
FRENCHIE. UH-HUH?
PERHAPS YOU CAN HELP US WITH
OUR ROLE-PLAYING. ALL RIGHT.
UM, JANICE. JANICE.
JANICE! JANICE.
JANICE. COME ON, JANICE.
OKAY. OH, YOU ARE
SOMETHIN' ELSE.
NOW, JANICE,
FRENCHIE IS ALCOHOL.
NOW EXPLAIN TO HIM THE WAY
YOU FEEL. [Sighs, Clears Throat]
ALL RIGHT. I ADMIT IT.
I'M ADDICTED TO YOU...
OH. TO YOUR SMELL, THE
WAY YOU INTOXICATE ME.
THE THOUGHT THAT I CAN'T GO A SINGLE
DAY WITHOUT YOU JUST GIVES ME THE SHAKES.
WELL, BABY, IF ALL THAT
HAPPENS JUST LOOKIN' AT ME,
WAIT TILL I SLIP
YOU SOME TONGUE.
COME HERE! [Screams]
HEY, HEY! I CAN'T DO THIS.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL US HOW
ALCOHOL HAS AFFECTED YOUR LIFE?
WHAT YOU TALKIN' 'BOUT, MAN? I DON'T
NEED NO ALCOHOL TO GET NO WOMEN.
ALL I NEED IS A RICK JAMES EIGHT
TRACK, BOTTLE OF MUSK OIL AND $22.
MAN, WHAT CAN A
GIRL GET FOR $22?
NOTHIN', BUT I CAN GET THE BOOT
OFF MY CAR. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
YOU KNOW SOMETHIN'? IF
THIS GUY CAN GET WOMEN
WITHOUT DRINKIN',
THERE'S HOPE FOR US ALL.
- YOU GONNA LISTEN TO...
- HEY, MAN. THAT SOUND LIKE A PARTY TO ME.
COME ON, Y'ALL. KICK IT OFF ON
FOUR. ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.
♪ I JUST WANNA
PARTY ALL THE TIME ♪
♪ PARTY ALL THE TIME PARTY ♪♪
COME ON, GIRL. MOVE
YOUR LEGS. WHOO-HOO!
[Man] ARE YOU TIRED OF
THAT SAME OLD BALD HEAD?
TIRED OF WASHING IT, SHINING IT, BUT YOU
STILL COME UP WITH THE SAME OLD LOOK?
WELL, NOW THERE'S SKULLY
CONDITIONING HEAD CREAM.
TRY SKULLY. USED LIKE SHAMPOO,
SKULLY BREAKS DOWN YOUR SCALP...
TO MAKE YOUR SKULL
SOFT AND MANAGEABLE.
CREATE YOUR OWN STYLES, LIKE THE
NON-HAIRY, NON-DAIRY MISTER SOFTEE.
OR THE FLESH FADE.
- GET SKULLY. YOU'LL TURN HEADS.
- [No Audible Dialogue]
THANKS, SKULLY.
[Man] SKULLY. WHO THOUGHT YOUR
HEAD COULD HAVE SO MUCH BODY?
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
[Gunshots]
♪♪ [Ends]
[Women Singing] ♪
IT'S RAINING MEN ♪
[Man] PUBLIC ACCESS CHANNEL
96 PRESENTS MEN ON FILM.
♪ AMEN ♪♪
HELLO. I'M BLAYNE EDWARDS.
AND I'M ANTOINE MERRYWETHER.
[Together] AND WELCOME
TO MEN ON FILMS.
TONIGHT, WE HAVE A
BRAND-NEW SPONSOR.
BALLPARK FRANKS. THEY
PLUMP WHEN YOU HEAT 'EM.
I'LL BET THEY DO. [Chuckles]
THEY ALMOST CAN'T
FIT INTO THE BUN.
THIS WEEK, WE'RE GOING TO
ANSWER SOME OF OUR CRITICS,
WHO SAY WE CAN CRITICIZE FILMS BUT WE
DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACTUALLY MAKE CINEMA.
THE TRUTH IS, WE'VE BEEN MAKING
A LOT OF FILMS OVER THE YEARS.
MM-HMM. BUT TONIGHT, WE'RE
GONNA FOCUS ON OUR FEATURE FILMS.
SO SIT BACK, RELAX,
AND ENJOY THIS:
THE FIRST MEN ON FILM FESTIVAL.
THIS SHOW IS ALL ABOUT
US. ♪ IT'S MY TURN ♪♪
WE BEGIN WITH A WESTERN PICTURE
CALLED THE MAGNIFICENT NINE.
THIS WONDERFUL FLICK STARRED
BLAYNE IN THE TITLE ROLE,
AND I HAVE TO SAY, BLAYNE, YOU
JUST EXPLODED ONTO SCREEN.
KUDOS!
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT AN EXCITING
SCENE FROM THE MAGNIFICENT NINE.
♪♪ [Piano]
♪♪ [Piano Continues]
SUPPOSED TO WEAR IT TO THE SIDE.
BARTENDER, I WANT
SOMETHING STIFF TO DRINK.
JACK DANIELS?
HE LOOK ANYTHING LIKE YOU?
[Humming]
SAY, I'M LOOKIN' FOR BUTCH.
♪♪ [Piano Stops] I'M BUTCH.
WHO'S LOOKIN' FOR ME?
WELL, IF IT ISN'T JOHNNY RINGO.
THAT'S A MIGHTY BIG PIECE OF STEEL
YOU GOT STRAPPED TO YOUR LEG.
THIS TOWN'S NOT BIG ENOUGH
FOR BOTH OF US, RINGO.
I'M RIDIN' YOU ALL THE
WAY BACK TO FRISCO.
GO AHEAD. MAKE MY DAY.
- COME TO MAMA, GIRL.
- [Squeals]
BUTCH, I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I AIN'T
SEEN YOU SINCE THE BARN DANCE.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? YOU
LEFT YOUR SPURS OVER MY HOUSE.
HOW DID YOU GET OUT
OF THE HANDCUFFS, GIRL?
HATED IT.
'TOINE, DO I SEE THE LITTLE
GREEN-EYED MONSTER PEEKIN' OUT?
JUST A LITTLE BIT.
EVERYONE KNOWS THE REAL
REASON WHY YOU GOT THAT PART.
IT WAS THE TIME YOU SPENT
ON THAT CASTING COUCH.
EXCUSE ME, MISS THING, BUT BOTH
OF US SPENT TIME ON THAT COUCH.
SO'S ANYWAY, OUR NEXT FILM IS A
THRILLING ADVENTURE STARRING...
THIS THING OVER HERE,
SET IN THE DARK, DANK, MOIST
CONFINES OF A WORLD WAR II SUBMARINE.
IT'S CALLED DEEP
SEA MEN. OH, HUSH.
DISMISSED, SAILOR.
♪♪ [Whistling]
UH, CAPTAIN, I'M ALL
FINISHED IN THE BOILER ROOM.
REQUEST PERMISSION
TO PUT MY SHIRT BACK ON.
PERMISSION DENIED, SAILOR. OH, BY THE
WAY, THOSE SMUDGES LOOK FABULOUS.
GO PUT ON THOSE LITTLE
SHORTS I LIKE SO MUCH. GO ON.
CAPTAIN, ENEMY
SHIPS AT 6:00 AND 9:00.
OH. 'SCUSE ME.
FIRE TORPEDOES!
TORPEDOES ARE JAMMED IN THE
TUBES, SIR. WE CAN'T GET 'EM TO MOVE.
OH, PHOOEY!
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE I'M GONNA HAVE
TO GUIDE THIS ONE IN MYSELF, MEN.
I'M GOING DOWN IN THE HOLE.
'SCUSE ME.
HERE I COME, YOU
NAZI BASTARDS. WHEE!
YEAH. THAT WAS FABULOUS.
YOU WERE GOOD. THANK YOU.
BUT YOU WASN'T ME. SO...
YOU JUST DETERMINED TO WORK MY
LAST GOOD NERVE, AIN'T YOU? YES, I AM.
I HAVE JUST THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE MY
PERFORMANCE. WON-DER-FUL, AND I'M THROUGH.
YOU KNOW, I WAS DISAPPOINTED...
WHEN MY FILM WAS NOT RELEASED
WITH ITS ORIGINAL TITLE, DAS BOOTY.
OH, WELL. THAT BRINGS
US TO OUR MOST RECENT,
AND I MUST SAY OUR MOST
SUCCESSFUL COLABORACIÓN,
THE BOXING CLASSIC, KID FIST.
I THINK HE LIKES ME. HEY,
LET GO OF ME, MUCHACHO.
[Man] COME ON. GO, FIST, GO. GO!
HOLD STILL. BOINK!
I HOPE THAT HURT,
BEAST. [Bell Rings]
- YEAH, FIST!
- THANK YOU.
HOLD THE ROPE, GIRL. OOH. AH.
AW, GEEZ, HE'S GOOD.
ALL THAT LATIN BLOOD JUST
PULSING AWAY IN HIM. AND HE'S CUTE.
MAYBE I SHOULD DO A COUPLE
OF ROUNDS. COME BACK HERE.
DON'T SWALLOW. I NEVER DO.
OH, LOOK AT MY
EYE. IT'S ALL PUFFY.
- I KNOW. I COULD FIX IT
WITH A LITTLE VASELINE.
- OH, I'VE HEARD THAT BEFORE.
[Bell Rings] LISTEN, IF HE HITS
YOU AGAIN, YOU TIE HIM UP.
OKAY. I DON'T THINK
HE'S INTO THAT.
YOO-HOO, PEDRO.
LET'S GIVE KID FIST THE NEW MEN ON
FILM PATENTED FESTIVAL FLAMENCO SNAP.
OLÉ! [Chuckles]
WELL, I THINK THIS SHOULD PUT TO REST
ALL THAT CARPING AND CATERWAULING...
ABOUT WHO CAN AND WHO
CANNOT MAKE MOVIES AROUND HERE.
JOIN US NEXT WEEK
WHEN WE TAKE A LOOK...
AT OUR NEW CHRISTMAS
FILM, THE LAST BOY SCOUTS.
MM-HMM. ZIP UP YOUR SLEEPING BAGS,
'CAUSE IT'S GONNA BE A BUMPY NIGHT.
I HOPE SO. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYONE.
[Women Singing] ♪ IT'S
RAINING MEN HALLELUJAH ♪
♪ IT'S RAINING MEN AMEN ♪♪
[Indistinct] OKAY,
THAT'S MY MAN.
YO, MY MAN STEVE
WANTS TO SAY SOMETHIN'.
ONCE AGAIN, THANKS
FOR CHILLIN' WITH US.
CATCH US NEXT SUNDAY AT 8:00.
AND MY MAN STEVE WANNA
SAY A LITTLE SOMETHIN' TO Y'ALL.
YO, YO, YO, YO! WHAT'S UP?
CHINATOWN IN THE HOUSE.
KOREATOWN IN THE HOUSE.
LITTLE TOKYO IN THE HOUSE.
WHAT STEVE REALLY
WANTS TO SAY IS, PEACE!
PEACE! PEACE!
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
YOU BROUGHT ME HERE TODAY.
WELL, HONEY, YOU'RE
OLDER NOW AND MAMA THINKS
IT'S TIME TO SHOW YOU
SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL.
TA-DA! WOW, LOOK
AT ALL THESE NAMES.
THESE MUST BE THE NAMES OF PEOPLE WHO
DONATED MONEY TO KEEP THE PARK BEAUTIFUL.
HMM, NOT EXACTLY. THEN THESE
MUST BE THE 1,000 POINTS OF LIGHT.
NO, MISSY. THESE 20,000 NAMES ARE THE
WOMEN WHO'VE SLEPT WITH WILT CHAMBERLAIN.
YOU MEAN THERE'S A
MONUMENT TO THAT?
HONEY, THAT'S JUST THE TIP OF THE
ICEBERG. YOU SEE THAT NAME UP THERE?
MOM! THAT'S RIGHT.
ME. ME! [Laughs]
MOM, THAT'S GREAT.
OH! YOU NEVER CEASE TO AMAZE ME.
WELL, HONEY, YOU KNOW,
ONE OF THESE DAYS MAYBE YOU'LL
GET LUCKY AND YOU'LL MEET WILT,
AND THEN YOUR NAME WILL
BE ON THE WALL OF FAME.
WELL, THANKS ALL
THE SAME, BUT, UH...
I'VE ALREADY BEEN THERE, HOMIE.
YOU LITTLE RASCAL.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME
WHY THEM CALL HIM THE STILT.
[Both Laugh, Squeal]
OH, GIRL. OH, I GUESS MY LITTLE
GIRL'S A FULL-GROWN SKEEZER.
HOW YOU LIVIN'? WHAT?
HOW YOU LIVIN'? WHAT?
HOW YOU LIVIN'? ♪
IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ ANYTHING YOU WANT IS UP
TO YOU ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU FOR ME AND ME FOR
YOU ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN BE ANYTHING YOU
WANNA BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ LET'S TAKE A TRIP AND
SIP ON A DREAM ♪ ♪ YEAH ♪
♪ GLIDE WITH THE GUIDE ON A
FUNKY SCENE ♪ ♪ ALL RIGHT ♪
♪ HERE COMES ANOTHER ONE OF
THOSE FUNKY, FUNNY MO' MONEY SHOWS ♪
♪ A CAST FOR LAUGHS
AND TALENTED ROLES ♪
♪ AND SISTERS WITH TWISTERS
FOR YOU BEEN LOOKIN' LISTENER ♪
♪ IT SEEMS YOU DON'T BELIEVE SO
YOU CAN BELIEVE WHAT I CONVINCE YA ♪
♪ SOME BOOTY TO YOUR SHORT
AND THOUGHT WE'LL MAKE IT SNAPPY ♪
♪ WITH JOKES AND POKES AT
FOLKS TO KEEP YOU HAPPY ♪
♪ NO NEED TO HOLD
YOUR REMOTE CONTROL ♪
♪ CHILL THIS SHOW'S GOT SOUL ♪
♪ ALL ABOARD, ALL ABOARD
THE TRAIN NEVER TROUBLES ♪
♪ YOU'D BETTER
SNUGGLE UP COUPLE UP ♪
♪ ON THE DOUBLE-DUB-DOUBLE ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
♪ IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE BUT SOME
OF THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE ♪
♪ SO, FELLAS, GRAB YOUR GIRL
TELL HER THAT YOU LOVE HER ♪
♪ 'CAUSE THAT'S THE WAY YOU'RE LIVIN'
WHEN YOU'RE LIVIN' IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO
GO, GO, GO, GO ♪
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO
GO, GO, GO, GO ♪
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO
GO, GO, GO, GO ♪
♪ GO, GO, GO ♪
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO ♪♪
[Man] CHRISTY BROWN, THE
HERO FROM MY LEFT FOOT, IS BACK,
AND HE'S NOT JUST KICKIN' HIS
HANDICAP, HE'S KICKIN' SOME ASS...
AS IRELAND'S CHAMPION
KICKBOXER IN MY LEFT FOOT OF FURY.
[Yells]
- 'NOTHER PINT THERE, CHRISTY?
- NOT TONIGHT, REG. I'M WHEELIN'.
- I SAID NO!
- HEY! LEAVE HER ALONE.
WHO'S GONNA MAKE ME?
- I AM.
- AND WHO'S GONNA
HELP YA, GIMPY?
I AM.
VAN DAMME, BRASS KNUCKLES.
[Man] REUNITED WITH HIS BELGIAN
BROTHER, JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME,
HE'S PUTTING HIS FOOT
DOWN WHERE IT COUNTS.
VAN DAMME, NUNCHAKUS.
[Karate Yells]
[Yells Continue]
ANYBODY ELSE WANT
SOME? HUH? HUH?
[Yells, Grunts]
VAN DAMME.
WHEELBARROW. WHEELBARROW.
DAMN IT, I LOVE A GOOD FIGHT.
[Man] CHRISTY BROWN,
JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME,
KICKING INTO HIGH GEAR
IN MY LEFT FOOT OF FURY.
YOU DON'T KNOW
HOW TO MAKE NO LOVE.
BOY, I KNOW HOW TO
MAKE LOVE TO A WOMAN.
I MIGHT BE OLD. I MAY NOT BE
ABLE TO RIDE 'EM LIKE I USED TO,
BUT I CAN STILL FIT
THE SADDLE. [Laughs]
HEY, WHAT'S UP? HEY THERE.
HOW YOU DOIN', YOUNG MAN?
THAT'S A NICE TIE YOU GOT THERE.
THANK YOU. HANGIN' IN THERE,
HUH? HOW LONG THE WAIT?
WELL, SEE, IT'S TWO HOURS
IF YOU WANT TO GET WITH ME,
BUT YOU CAN GO RIGHT UP IN
MAC'S CHAIR IF YOU WANT TO.
- THAT'S OKAY. I'LL COME BACK LATER.
- ALL RIGHT. THAT'S A SMART MAN.
OH, NO. HERE HE COMES.
MOVE YOUR FEET, SUCKER!
BOY, YOU GOT EARS?
MOVE YOUR DAMN FEET.
HEY, MAN. WHAT'S YOUR
PROBLEM? WHAT YOU SAY, SUCKER?
- I SAID, "WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?"
- FINE, AND YOU?
YOU KNOW HE CAN'T
HEAR YA, DON'T YA?
HE DEAF AS A SWAMP
RAT. WATCH THIS.
- MAC, DID YOU CHANGE
YOUR DRAWERS YESTERDAY?
- WHAT YOU SAY, SUCKER?
I SAID, DID YOU CHANGE YOUR
STINKY DRAWERS YESTERDAY?
NO, THANK YOU. YOU KNOW
I DON'T EAT NO CHITLINS.
SEE WHAT I MEAN? HE'S
JUST AS DEAF AS HE WANNA BE.
WHY DOESN'T HE
GET A HEARING AID?
OH, HE CAN HEAR
WHEN HE WANNA HEAR.
IF IT'S SOMETHIN' IMPORTANT FOR
HIM, HE CAN HEAR THAT. WATCH THIS.
[Whispers] NOW WHEN MAC LEAVES,
WE GONNA DRINK UP ALL HIS BOURBON.
Y'ALL BETTER NOT TOUCH MY
LIQUOR, OR SOMEBODY GONNA GET CUT!
SEE, HE CAN HEAR. YOU AIN'T
GONNA CUT NOBODY UP IN HERE, MAN.
SEE WHAT I MEAN? [Laughs]
YO, WHAT'S UP, MONEY?
HOW YOU DOIN', SON? I AIN'T GOT NO
MONEY FOR YA, BUT I CAN CUT YOUR HAIR.
HEY, MAN. WHAT'S THE WAIT
LIKE UP IN HERE? I NEED A CUT BAD.
YOU DO NEED ONE.
BUT CHECK THIS OUT.
ALL THESE PEOPLE
HERE ARE WAITIN' ON ME,
BUT YOU CAN GO FIRST UP
IN MAC'S CHAIR, IF YOU WANT.
BET. I'LL SIT IN
MAC'S CHAIR. [Laughs]
YOU NEW HERE, AIN'T
YA? YEAH. HOW YOU KNOW?
JUST A LUCKY GUESS.
POOR THING.
WHAT YOU WANT, YOUNG MAN? I
JUST WANT A TRIM. JUST TRIM IT UP...
TAKE IT ALL OFF?
NAH, I WANT A TRIM.
EAST COAST OR WEST COAST?
NAH, I JUST WANT A TRIM...
YOU WANT A TAIL IN THE
BACK? I DON'T WANT NO TAIL...
YOU WANT INITIALS RIGHT
ACROSS THE BACK? NO, MAN.
YOU DON'T WANT YOUR NAME
ACROSS THE BACK? I JUST WANT A TRIM...
POINT TO THE WALL
WHAT YOU WANT, SUCKER.
RIGHT THERE. THE DUDE
WITH THE LITTLE EARS.
ONE GLOBETROTTER COMIN' UP!
[Coughs]
[Clippers Buzzing]
HOLD S... OUCH, MAN!
WHAT'D YOU SAY, SUCKER? I
SAID, "OUCH, MAN." THAT HURT.
SO YOU DO WANT THE TAIL IN
THE BACK? YO. WHAT DID YOU...
WHAT... LET ME SEE WHAT YOU
DID TO MY HAIR. HOLD STILL, NOW.
LET ME SEE WHAT YOU DID
TO MY HAIR. JUST CALM DOWN.
[Coughing]
OUCH, MAN!
TEN DOLLARS. YO, MAN. I
AIN'T GIVIN' YOU NOTHIN'.
YOU MUST BE CRAZY, MAN.
WHERE'S MY TIP, SUCKER?
TIP? I'LL BREAK THE TIP OF MY
SHOE OFF IN YOUR OLD CRAZY ASS.
COME ON, BOY.
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
MY NAME IS BENNY,
AND I'M AN ALCOHOLIC.
HI, BENNY. HELLO, BENNY.
[Woman] WELCOME, BENNY. WHOO!
I AM GLAD TO SAY THAT I HAVEN'T
HAD A DRINK OF ALCOHOL IN SIX MONTHS.
- THAT'S GREAT.
- YEAH!
DON'T FRET, MON TOUPEE. FRENCHIE
HAS ARRIVÉ AND IT IS TIME TO PAR-TAY!
♪ I JUST WANNA PARTY SOMETIME ♪
♪ PARTY SOMETIME
PARTY SOMETIME ♪♪
COME ON, BENNY. DO THE FUNKY
PENGUIN WITH ME. GET OFF...
OH, NO. NOT AGAIN, FRENCHIE.
HOW DID YOU FIND ME?
OH, MAN. IT WASN'T EASY,
MON FRIEND GREY POUPON.
I FOLLOWED YOU OUT OF THAT PORNO
SHOP DOWN THERE ON CAHUENGA,
AND I KNEW YOU HAD
TO BE GOIN' TO A PARTY,
ELSE YOU WOULDN'T HAVE
BOUGHT THAT BLOW-UP DOLL.
GET YOUR SHARECROPPIN'
HANDS OFF OF ME! EXCUSE ME.
EXCUSE ME, BUT I'M AFRAID YOU
HAVE THE WRONG PLACE. THIS IS A.A.
OH, THAT'S A GOOD THING, 'CAUSE MY
CAR BROKE DOWN ABOUT SIX BLOCKS.
I THINK IT MIGHT HAVE
BEEN THE BATTERY,
BUT IT SURE WAS HARD TO
DRIVE WITH THAT BOOT ON.
KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
NOT TRIPLE "A". THIS IS A MEETING
FOR ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
YOU'RE NOT ANONYMOUS.
THERE'S RICHIE, THERE'S
BENNY, JANICE... HI, JANICE.
GET OUT OF HERE! GET
OUT OF HERE, FRENCHIE!
NO, WAIT A MINUTE. I AM THE
GROUP LEADER. SIT DOWN!
NOW, EVERYBODY IS WELCOME TO STAY,
AND ANYBODY WITH AN OUTFIT ON LIKE THAT...
IS IN DIRE NEED OF ASSISTANCE.
HEY, ANY WOMAN WITH A WIG GOT
NERVE TALKIN' ABOUT MY OUTFIT.
GOT SOME NERVE, THERE.
NOW, WHO'S NEXT?
JENNY, YOU GO NEXT.
GO, JENNY.
HI, UM... WELL...
[Clears Throat]
I REMEMBER WHEN I KNEW
I HAD HIT ROCK BOTTOM.
I LEFT WORK AND WENT
STRAIGHT TO A BAR. [Clears Throat]
AND THE NEXT THING
I KNEW, I WAS IN A...
A GREMLIN WITH SOME...
SOME GREASY-LOOKING
GUY I HAD NEVER SEEN,
AND I HAD MY... DRESS
UP OVER MY HEAD,
AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE
MY WEDDING RING IS. [Sobs]
WELL, I'LL BE JEAN
NATÉED. THAT WAS YOU?
WELL, BABY, I PAWNED YOUR WEDDING
RING, BUT I BROUGHT YOUR DRAWERS BACK.
HERE YOU GO, BABY.
OH, I KNOW.
THIS IS WHAT CAN HAPPEN FROM
ALCOHOL! OH, THAT WASN'T ALCOHOL, BABY.
♪ THAT WAS A JUST
A LOVE MACHINE ♪
♪ AND HE WON'T WORK
IT FOR NOBODY BUT YOU ♪
SIR, I DON'T THINK
YOU UNDERSTAND.
WE ARE ALCOHOLICS. UH-HUH?
I WAS ONCE UP TO TWO
BOTTLES OF J&B A DAY.
I DON'T KNOW HOW
LONG I CAN STAY DRY.
HEY, MAN, THAT AIN'T
NOTHIN'. I WAS UP TO
THREE AND A HALF BOTTLES
OF T.C.B. LIGHT A DAY.
I SWITCHED OVER TO AFRO
SHEEN, AND I'M NEVER DRY.
[Screams]
BUDDY, YOU JUST DON'T GET IT.
I DRANK MYSELF OUT OF A
JOB, A MARRIAGE AND A HOME.
HEY, MAN. DON'T FEEL BAD. MY MAMA TOLD
ME WHEN I WAS SIX, I DRANK OUT THE TOILET.
LOOK, LOOK. FRENCHIE.
FRENCHIE. UH-HUH?
PERHAPS YOU CAN HELP US WITH
OUR ROLE-PLAYING. ALL RIGHT.
UM, JANICE. JANICE.
JANICE! JANICE.
JANICE. COME ON, JANICE.
OKAY. OH, YOU ARE
SOMETHIN' ELSE.
NOW, JANICE,
FRENCHIE IS ALCOHOL.
NOW EXPLAIN TO HIM THE WAY
YOU FEEL. [Sighs, Clears Throat]
ALL RIGHT. I ADMIT IT.
I'M ADDICTED TO YOU...
OH. TO YOUR SMELL, THE
WAY YOU INTOXICATE ME.
THE THOUGHT THAT I CAN'T GO A SINGLE
DAY WITHOUT YOU JUST GIVES ME THE SHAKES.
WELL, BABY, IF ALL THAT
HAPPENS JUST LOOKIN' AT ME,
WAIT TILL I SLIP
YOU SOME TONGUE.
COME HERE! [Screams]
HEY, HEY! I CAN'T DO THIS.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL US HOW
ALCOHOL HAS AFFECTED YOUR LIFE?
WHAT YOU TALKIN' 'BOUT, MAN? I DON'T
NEED NO ALCOHOL TO GET NO WOMEN.
ALL I NEED IS A RICK JAMES EIGHT
TRACK, BOTTLE OF MUSK OIL AND $22.
MAN, WHAT CAN A
GIRL GET FOR $22?
NOTHIN', BUT I CAN GET THE BOOT
OFF MY CAR. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
YOU KNOW SOMETHIN'? IF
THIS GUY CAN GET WOMEN
WITHOUT DRINKIN',
THERE'S HOPE FOR US ALL.
- YOU GONNA LISTEN TO...
- HEY, MAN. THAT SOUND LIKE A PARTY TO ME.
COME ON, Y'ALL. KICK IT OFF ON
FOUR. ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.
♪ I JUST WANNA
PARTY ALL THE TIME ♪
♪ PARTY ALL THE TIME PARTY ♪♪
COME ON, GIRL. MOVE
YOUR LEGS. WHOO-HOO!
[Man] ARE YOU TIRED OF
THAT SAME OLD BALD HEAD?
TIRED OF WASHING IT, SHINING IT, BUT YOU
STILL COME UP WITH THE SAME OLD LOOK?
WELL, NOW THERE'S SKULLY
CONDITIONING HEAD CREAM.
TRY SKULLY. USED LIKE SHAMPOO,
SKULLY BREAKS DOWN YOUR SCALP...
TO MAKE YOUR SKULL
SOFT AND MANAGEABLE.
CREATE YOUR OWN STYLES, LIKE THE
NON-HAIRY, NON-DAIRY MISTER SOFTEE.
OR THE FLESH FADE.
- GET SKULLY. YOU'LL TURN HEADS.
- [No Audible Dialogue]
THANKS, SKULLY.
[Man] SKULLY. WHO THOUGHT YOUR
HEAD COULD HAVE SO MUCH BODY?
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
[Gunshots]
♪♪ [Ends]
[Women Singing] ♪
IT'S RAINING MEN ♪
[Man] PUBLIC ACCESS CHANNEL
96 PRESENTS MEN ON FILM.
♪ AMEN ♪♪
HELLO. I'M BLAYNE EDWARDS.
AND I'M ANTOINE MERRYWETHER.
[Together] AND WELCOME
TO MEN ON FILMS.
TONIGHT, WE HAVE A
BRAND-NEW SPONSOR.
BALLPARK FRANKS. THEY
PLUMP WHEN YOU HEAT 'EM.
I'LL BET THEY DO. [Chuckles]
THEY ALMOST CAN'T
FIT INTO THE BUN.
THIS WEEK, WE'RE GOING TO
ANSWER SOME OF OUR CRITICS,
WHO SAY WE CAN CRITICIZE FILMS BUT WE
DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACTUALLY MAKE CINEMA.
THE TRUTH IS, WE'VE BEEN MAKING
A LOT OF FILMS OVER THE YEARS.
MM-HMM. BUT TONIGHT, WE'RE
GONNA FOCUS ON OUR FEATURE FILMS.
SO SIT BACK, RELAX,
AND ENJOY THIS:
THE FIRST MEN ON FILM FESTIVAL.
THIS SHOW IS ALL ABOUT
US. ♪ IT'S MY TURN ♪♪
WE BEGIN WITH A WESTERN PICTURE
CALLED THE MAGNIFICENT NINE.
THIS WONDERFUL FLICK STARRED
BLAYNE IN THE TITLE ROLE,
AND I HAVE TO SAY, BLAYNE, YOU
JUST EXPLODED ONTO SCREEN.
KUDOS!
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT AN EXCITING
SCENE FROM THE MAGNIFICENT NINE.
♪♪ [Piano]
♪♪ [Piano Continues]
SUPPOSED TO WEAR IT TO THE SIDE.
BARTENDER, I WANT
SOMETHING STIFF TO DRINK.
JACK DANIELS?
HE LOOK ANYTHING LIKE YOU?
[Humming]
SAY, I'M LOOKIN' FOR BUTCH.
♪♪ [Piano Stops] I'M BUTCH.
WHO'S LOOKIN' FOR ME?
WELL, IF IT ISN'T JOHNNY RINGO.
THAT'S A MIGHTY BIG PIECE OF STEEL
YOU GOT STRAPPED TO YOUR LEG.
THIS TOWN'S NOT BIG ENOUGH
FOR BOTH OF US, RINGO.
I'M RIDIN' YOU ALL THE
WAY BACK TO FRISCO.
GO AHEAD. MAKE MY DAY.
- COME TO MAMA, GIRL.
- [Squeals]
BUTCH, I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I AIN'T
SEEN YOU SINCE THE BARN DANCE.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? YOU
LEFT YOUR SPURS OVER MY HOUSE.
HOW DID YOU GET OUT
OF THE HANDCUFFS, GIRL?
HATED IT.
'TOINE, DO I SEE THE LITTLE
GREEN-EYED MONSTER PEEKIN' OUT?
JUST A LITTLE BIT.
EVERYONE KNOWS THE REAL
REASON WHY YOU GOT THAT PART.
IT WAS THE TIME YOU SPENT
ON THAT CASTING COUCH.
EXCUSE ME, MISS THING, BUT BOTH
OF US SPENT TIME ON THAT COUCH.
SO'S ANYWAY, OUR NEXT FILM IS A
THRILLING ADVENTURE STARRING...
THIS THING OVER HERE,
SET IN THE DARK, DANK, MOIST
CONFINES OF A WORLD WAR II SUBMARINE.
IT'S CALLED DEEP
SEA MEN. OH, HUSH.
DISMISSED, SAILOR.
♪♪ [Whistling]
UH, CAPTAIN, I'M ALL
FINISHED IN THE BOILER ROOM.
REQUEST PERMISSION
TO PUT MY SHIRT BACK ON.
PERMISSION DENIED, SAILOR. OH, BY THE
WAY, THOSE SMUDGES LOOK FABULOUS.
GO PUT ON THOSE LITTLE
SHORTS I LIKE SO MUCH. GO ON.
CAPTAIN, ENEMY
SHIPS AT 6:00 AND 9:00.
OH. 'SCUSE ME.
FIRE TORPEDOES!
TORPEDOES ARE JAMMED IN THE
TUBES, SIR. WE CAN'T GET 'EM TO MOVE.
OH, PHOOEY!
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE I'M GONNA HAVE
TO GUIDE THIS ONE IN MYSELF, MEN.
I'M GOING DOWN IN THE HOLE.
'SCUSE ME.
HERE I COME, YOU
NAZI BASTARDS. WHEE!
YEAH. THAT WAS FABULOUS.
YOU WERE GOOD. THANK YOU.
BUT YOU WASN'T ME. SO...
YOU JUST DETERMINED TO WORK MY
LAST GOOD NERVE, AIN'T YOU? YES, I AM.
I HAVE JUST THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE MY
PERFORMANCE. WON-DER-FUL, AND I'M THROUGH.
YOU KNOW, I WAS DISAPPOINTED...
WHEN MY FILM WAS NOT RELEASED
WITH ITS ORIGINAL TITLE, DAS BOOTY.
OH, WELL. THAT BRINGS
US TO OUR MOST RECENT,
AND I MUST SAY OUR MOST
SUCCESSFUL COLABORACIÓN,
THE BOXING CLASSIC, KID FIST.
I THINK HE LIKES ME. HEY,
LET GO OF ME, MUCHACHO.
[Man] COME ON. GO, FIST, GO. GO!
HOLD STILL. BOINK!
I HOPE THAT HURT,
BEAST. [Bell Rings]
- YEAH, FIST!
- THANK YOU.
HOLD THE ROPE, GIRL. OOH. AH.
AW, GEEZ, HE'S GOOD.
ALL THAT LATIN BLOOD JUST
PULSING AWAY IN HIM. AND HE'S CUTE.
MAYBE I SHOULD DO A COUPLE
OF ROUNDS. COME BACK HERE.
DON'T SWALLOW. I NEVER DO.
OH, LOOK AT MY
EYE. IT'S ALL PUFFY.
- I KNOW. I COULD FIX IT
WITH A LITTLE VASELINE.
- OH, I'VE HEARD THAT BEFORE.
[Bell Rings] LISTEN, IF HE HITS
YOU AGAIN, YOU TIE HIM UP.
OKAY. I DON'T THINK
HE'S INTO THAT.
YOO-HOO, PEDRO.
LET'S GIVE KID FIST THE NEW MEN ON
FILM PATENTED FESTIVAL FLAMENCO SNAP.
OLÉ! [Chuckles]
WELL, I THINK THIS SHOULD PUT TO REST
ALL THAT CARPING AND CATERWAULING...
ABOUT WHO CAN AND WHO
CANNOT MAKE MOVIES AROUND HERE.
JOIN US NEXT WEEK
WHEN WE TAKE A LOOK...
AT OUR NEW CHRISTMAS
FILM, THE LAST BOY SCOUTS.
MM-HMM. ZIP UP YOUR SLEEPING BAGS,
'CAUSE IT'S GONNA BE A BUMPY NIGHT.
I HOPE SO. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYONE.
[Women Singing] ♪ IT'S
RAINING MEN HALLELUJAH ♪
♪ IT'S RAINING MEN AMEN ♪♪
[Indistinct] OKAY,
THAT'S MY MAN.
YO, MY MAN STEVE
WANTS TO SAY SOMETHIN'.
ONCE AGAIN, THANKS
FOR CHILLIN' WITH US.
CATCH US NEXT SUNDAY AT 8:00.
AND MY MAN STEVE WANNA
SAY A LITTLE SOMETHIN' TO Y'ALL.
YO, YO, YO, YO! WHAT'S UP?
CHINATOWN IN THE HOUSE.
KOREATOWN IN THE HOUSE.
LITTLE TOKYO IN THE HOUSE.
WHAT STEVE REALLY
WANTS TO SAY IS, PEACE!
PEACE! PEACE!
♪♪ [Hip-hop]