In Living Color (1990–1994): Season 2, Episode 9 - Men on Vacation - full transcript
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN' ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
♪ TAKE IT FROM ME IT'S A'IGHT
TO BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ AND HOW WOULD YOU FEEL
KNOWING PREJUDICE WAS OBSOLETE ♪
♪ AND ALL MANKIND
DANCED TO THE EXACT BEAT ♪
♪ AND AT NIGHT IT WAS SAFE TO WALK
DOWN THE STREET ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ EVERYBODY HERE
IS EQUALLY KIND ♪
♪ EVERYBODY HERE
IS EQUALLY KIND ♪
♪ EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY
EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY ♪
♪ EVERYBODY HERE IS EQUALLY
KIND ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ WHAT'S MINE IS YOURS
AND WHAT'S YOURS IS MINE ♪
♪ IN LIVING C-C-C-OLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN' ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
♪ TAKE IT FROM ME IT'S A'IGHT
TO BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
KEENEN IVORY WAYANS.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
WELCOME TO ANOTHER SHOW. YOU
KNOW, SOME PEOPLE HAVE CRITICIZED ME...
FOR NOT HAVING ANY
"FLY GUYS" ON THE SHOW.
SOME PEOPLE HAVE
GONE AS FAR AS TO SAY...
I MIGHT BE A LITTLE, UH,
THREATENED BY THE IDEA.
COME ON. THAT'S NOT TRUE AT
ALL. TONIGHT I'M GONNA PROVE IT.
WE'RE GONNA HAVE A VERY SPECIAL "FLY
GUY" PERFORMING WITH THE FLY GIRLS TONIGHT.
HE'S A GREAT DANCER...
YOUNG, GOOD LOOKING.
SO AFTER TONIGHT, I
DON'T WANNA HEAR A WORD.
SO LET'S GIVE IT UP. JOINING THE FLY
GIRLS, MY MAN, CARL JAMEL TAYLOR.
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
♪ TAKE IT FROM ME IT'S A'IGHT
TO BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
LASSIE! OH, LASSIE!
BUT MR. TOMPKINS, YOU SIMPLY HAVE TO FIX
SOME OF THE THINGS AROUND THE APARTMENT.
I FEEL IT'S NOT SAFE
FOR MY SON TIMMY.
I'LL TEACH YOU TO GO ON A RENT
STRIKE. I'M NOT FIXING ANYTHING.
IF YOU AREN'T OUT OF
THERE BY SUNDOWN, I'M
GONNA SEND SOMEONE
OVER THERE TO HELP YOU...
AND YOUR LITTLE DOG TOO.
UH-OH.
OH, DARN. NOW WE'RE TRAPPED
AND HAVE NO WAY TO CALL FOR HELP.
YES, WE DO. LASSIE! OH, LASSIE!
NOW, LASSIE, I WANT
YOU TO RUN AND GET HELP.
GO, GIRL! GO!
MEANWHILE, TIMMY, LET'S
COMFORT OURSELVES WITH A SONG.
♪ NINETY-NINE BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE
WALL ♪ ♪ NINETY-NINE BOTTLES OF BEER ♪
♪ TAKE ONE DOWN PASS IT AROUND ♪
♪ NINETY-EIGHT BOTTLES
OF BEER ON THE WALL ♪
- ♪ NINETY-EIGHT BOTTLES
OF BEER ON THE WALL ♪
- OH, A CROWBAR! THAT WILL HELP!
GOOD GIRL, LASSIE.
NOW, LASSIE, THIS TIME I WANT YOU TO
GET A VARIABLE-SPEED MAKITA BAND SAW...
WITH A CARBIDE-TIPPED
BLADE AND SAWDUST BAG.
HURRY!
♪ KUMBAYA, MY LORD ♪
♪ KUMBAYA ♪
- ♪ KUMBAYA, MY LORD, KUMBAYA ♪
-
GOOD GIRL.
AND DID YOU BRING THE
SPECIAL A.C. ADAPTER?
GOOD GIRL, LASSIE.
I THINK LASSIE'S TRYING
TO TELL US SOMETHING.
WHAT IS IT, GIRL? DO
YOU SENSE DANGER?
SHE'S BARKING IN MORSE CODE.
ONLY, WE DON'T KNOW MORSE CODE.
- WHAT ARE YOU TRYIN' TO TELL US, GIRL?
- SOMETHING TO DO WITH "ARM"?
UH, YOUR ARM'S TOO
SHORT TO BOX WITH GOD?
ARMANI? GIORGIO ARMANI?
ARMISTICE! LASSIE'S TRYING TO WARN
US THAT THE ARMS REDUCTION TREATY...
PROPOSED AT SALT II WOULD
BE DISADVANTAGEOUS TO NATO.
HEY, WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!
OPEN THE DOOR! TOMPKINS
SENT US TO COLLECT THE RENT!
SURE ENOUGH, THERE ARE
THOSE EVIL HENCHMEN NOW.
GOOD GIRL, LASSIE.
IF YOU DON'T OPEN THIS
DOOR, WE'LL TEAR IT DOWN.
OH! TIMMY, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
IF YOU LAY A FINGER ON THIS
DOOR, I'LL CHEW OFF YOUR ARM...
AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT.
UH, COME ON, GUYS.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
HEAVENS TO BETSY,
LASSIE! YOU CAN TALK!
I WANT YOU TO FORGET
YOU EVER HEARD THAT.
AW, LASSIE,
YOU'RE THE BEST DARN
DOG IN THE WHOLE WORLD!
ROCKY! ROCKY, I KNOW
THIS IS YOUR BIG COMEBACK,
AND I KNOW I CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD TO
TRAIN YOU, BUT THIS FIGHT IS PURE INSANITY!
NO WAY, BROTHER. YOU
JUST WANNA HUMIL... HUMIL...
EASY, ROCKY. NOT
TOO MANY SYLLABLES.
I GOT LIGHT-HEADED THERE. LISTEN, I STILL
GOT THE EYE OF THE TIGER. YOU KNOW THAT.
LOOK, ROCKY, YOU GOT THE EYE OF
A TIGER AND THE I.Q. OF A LIMA BEAN.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE FIGHTING A MAN
TONIGHT. YOU'LL BE FIGHTIN' AN ANIMAL.
ANIMALS DON'T SCARE ME.
YEAH? WELL, THIS ONE WILL.
ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY!
ALL RIGHT, FANS. HERE
WE GO. IN THE RED CORNER,
ROCKY BALBOA!
AND IN THE BLUE CORNER, THE
UNDISPUTED CHAMPION OF THE WORLD.
LET'S GIVE IT UP
FOR GRACE JONES!
THE ULTIMATE CHALLENGE.
HELLO, ROCKY. DO
YOU FIND ME SEXY?
I SAID, DO YOU FIND ME SEXY?
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, GRACE,
YOU'RE STARTIN' TO SCARE ME A LITTLE.
HARDER! FASTER! HARDER! FASTER!
HARDER! FASTER!
ENOUGH OF THE FOREPLAY, ROCKY.
IS IT GONNA BE YOUR PLACE OR MINE?
AW, COME ON, GRACE.
I GOT A WIFE AND KID.
THEN I GUESS IT'S
GONNA BE MINE, ROCKY.
SLAVE TO THE RHYTHM ♪
ADRIAN! ♪ SLAVE TO THE RHYTHM ♪
ADRIAN! ROCKY!
ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY!
ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY!
ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY!
♪♪
FOR THOSE SENSITIVE
TIMES OF THE MONTH
WHEN EMOTIONS RUN
CLOSE TO THE SURFACE...
HONEY, LOOK WHAT I GOT.
OHH. JUST BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.
THERE'S ONLY NINE. WHERE ARE
THE OTHER THREE, CHEAPSKATE?
GOD, YOU ALWAYS
TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT!
I HATE THE WAY YOU CHEW YOUR
FOOD WITH YOUR MOUTH ALL OVER IT...
LIKE SOME SORT OF
BIZARRE BARNYARD ANIMAL!
JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME!
I CAN'T SEEM TO DO ANYTHING
RIGHT. BOY, COULD I USE SOME HELP.
FOR THOSE SPECIAL
TIMES OF THE MONTH,
YOU NEED THE P.M.S.
DEFENSE SYSTEM.
HIGHLY TRAINED FEMALE
COUNSELORS WILL TALK YOU
THROUGH EVEN THE MOST
IRRATIONAL P.M.S. ARGUMENT.
FOR ONLY $300 A YEAR, YOU'LL RECEIVE THIS
TRANSMITTER THAT FITS SNUGLY IN YOUR EAR...
AND KEEPS YOU IN TOUCH WITH
P.M.S. CENTRAL 24 HOURS A DAY.
HELP. MY WIFE HAS P.M.S.,
AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
DON'T WORRY. I'M
RIGHT HERE WITH YOU.
GOD. YOU'RE SO INSENSITIVE!
WHY CAN'T YOU BE
TALLER? HEY, GIVE ME A...
STOP. STOP RIGHT
THERE. SIMPLY APOLOGIZE.
I'M SORRY, HONEY. YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'LL TRY TO GROW TOMORROW.
TELL HER YOU LOVE HER.
I LOVE YOU.
SEE. IT'S THAT... IT'S
THAT BREATHING THING.
IN AND OUT AND IN AND OUT!
GOD! YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY!
SHE'S ALREADY AT
IRRATIONAL LEVEL SEVEN.
THIS IS A CODE RED. DON'T SAY A
WORD. JUST GET HER SOME PAIN RELIEVER.
DON'T YOU SEE? THIS PLACE IS
DUST-RIDDEN, AND IF I DON'T DUST,
THEN YOU'RE JUST GONNA SUCK
ALL THE AIR OUT OF THE ROOM!
THE BOTTLE IS EMPTY! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!
- GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!
I CAN'T! I'M TRAPPED
IN A BATHROOM!
IS THERE A WINDOW? YEAH,
BUT IT'S FIVE FLOORS UP.
GO FOR IT!
BECAUSE NO ONE SHOULD GO
THROUGH THESE TIMES ALONE.
HEY! ARE YOU TRYIN'
TO AVOID ME OR WHAT?
♪♪
JAH ♪ AND NOW,
PUBLIC ACCESS TELEVISION CHANNEL
53 PRESENTS: MEN ON VACATION.
HELLO. I'M BLAYNE EDWARDS.
AND I'M ANTOINE MERRYWETHER.
AND WELCOME TO MEN ON VACATION.
TODAY WE'LL BE REVIEWING
OUR LITTLE EUROPEAN VACATION.
FROM A MALE POINT OF VIEW.
HERE WE ARE ON OUR LAST STOP ON OUR
WHIRLWIND GALLIVANT THROUGH EUROPA.
WAIT A MINUTE. WE
GOT A NEW SPONSOR.
SOMEBODY BETTER
CHECK THEIR MAIL.
TONIGHT'S BROADCAST IS
BROUGHT TO YOU BY JEWELS,
THE GUM THAT
EXPLODES IN YOUR MOUTH.
I BET YOU JUST CAN'T CHEW ONE.
AND WHO'D WANT TO?
WE STARTED OUR
LITTLE TRIP IN GREECE.
THE GREEK "PEOPLES" WAS SO NICE.
YES. THEY BENT OVER BACKWARDS
TO SHOW US A GOOD TIME.
OH, LOOK. EXCUSE ME.
NOT YOU, FISH. YOU
GO BACK IN THE SEA.
GARÇON.
OH, MAY I HAVE
ANOTHER WALLBANGER?
- AND FOR MONSIEUR?
- OUI, OUI.
BOTTOMS UP. DITTO.
IS THAT LITTLE RICKY SCHRODER? WHAT'S
HE DOIN' HERE? DON'T LET HIM SEE ME.
WHO'S THAT WITH HIM? YOU
KNOW, I THINK THAT'S ERIK ESTRADA.
OH, WELL. ANYWAY. NEXT WE
WENT TO HOLLAND, LAND OF DIKES.
HATED IT!
AND FROM THERE, IT WAS
ON TO MERRY OLD ENGLAND.
REMEMBER BIG BEN? OH,
HOW COULD I FORGET IT?
IT WAS SO NICE OF HIM TO
SHOW US AROUND THE CITY.
EXCUSE ME. BIG BEN WAS A CLOCK.
WELL, WE BOTH KNOW
WHAT TIME THAT WAS.
YOU'D BETTER STOP.
YOU KNOW, IT'S SO CHILLY OUT
HERE, MY NIPPLES ARE HARD.
THEN IT WAS JUST A HOP, SKIP
AND JUMP ON TO GAY PARIS,
BUT WE DECIDED TO GO
BACK TO GREECE INSTEAD.
AND THEN IT WAS ON TO SCOTLAND.
YOU KNOW, I FOUND IT TO
BE QUITE AN OPEN SOCIETY...
WHERE "MENS" ARE FREE TO EXPLORE
THE FEMININE SIDE OF THEIR NATURE.
ALL THOSE HAIRY LEGS AND
SKIRTS HOLDIN' THEM BAGPIPES.
MM-HMM. NOT SINCE THE FIRE
ISLAND HALLOWEEN BARN DANCE...
HAVE I SEEN SO MANY MEN IN DRAG.
JUST A HINT, FELLAS:
PLAID IS OUT THIS FALL.
OUR NEXT STOP WAS SWEDEN, BEST
KNOWN FOR ITS BEAUTIFUL, BUXOM BLONDES.
HATED IT!
SO WE WENT BACK TO GREECE.
BUT IT WAS VERY SAD WHEN WE HAD
TO LEAVE OUR SOLDIER BUDDIES BEHIND...
AND TRAVEL TO OUR FINAL
DESTINATION: THE FRENCH RIVIERA,
WHICH IS WHERE
WE'VE BEEN EVER SINCE.
OH, YES. AND TO SUM UP OUR LITTLE
EUROPEAN VACATION, WE'RE GONNA HAVE...
TO GIVE THE WHOLE TRIP A NEW AND
IMPROVED AROUND-THE-WORLD-AND-BACK SNAP.
TELL A FRIEND.
TUNE IN NEXT WEEK, WHEN WE'LL
BE BACK IN THE GOOD OLD U.S. OF A...
REVIEWING THE NEW
RELEASE, MEMPHIS BELLE.
IT'S THE STORY OF 10 YOUNG
"MENS" IN LEATHER JACKETS,
ALL SWEATY, STANDIN'
NEXT TO EACH OTHER...
AND THEM LONG, HARD BOMBS CRAMMED
TOGETHER IN A LITTLE OLD COCKPIT.
WELL, GREASE MY LANDING
GEAR, I'M COMING IN FOR A LANDING.
TOODLE-OO! SEE
YOU NEXT WEEK! BYE!
♪ IT'S RAININ' MEN, HALLELUJAH ♪
♪ IT'S RAININ' MEN, AMEN ♪
♪ I'M GONNA GO OUT ♪♪
ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH
FOR HANGING OUT WITH US TONIGHT.
THIRD BASS.
COME ON, MAN. GET
OUT OF MY WAY, MAN. LET
ME SEE EVERYBODY, MAN.
OH, IT'S LIKE THAT? YEAH, IT'S LIKE
THAT. KEENEN, THIS IS FROM THE GROUP...
AND OUR BOYS SHIRT
KINGS IN JAMAICA.
CONGRATULATIONS. BUST THAT.
RIPPIN' THAT UP FOR JIMMY
GETTIN' THE JOB DONE.
TOO BLACK, TOO STRONG FOR
TV, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?
WE WANNA SET THIS OFF THE
RIGHT WAY. HEY, YO, RICHIE RICH!
THAT'S THE WAY
WE GONNA RUN THIS.
♪ LET ME SEE SOME FISTS IN THE
AIR, JUST PUMP YOUR FISTS IN THE AIR ♪
♪ AND WAVE IT LIKE
YOU JUST DON'T CARE ♪
♪ AND IF YOUR GIRL
GOT ON FAKE HAIR ♪
♪ SOMEBODY SAY OH, YEAH ♪
♪ OH, YEAH ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ A LITTLE SOMETHIN' LIKE THIS ♪
♪ IN THE HEART OF THE
CITY YOUR POPS NUTTED ♪
♪ TWELVE MONTHS LATER
YOUR MOM STUTTERED ♪
♪ THE SITE OF YOUR
GRILL ILL "CREATIONAL" ♪
♪ YOU GREW UP YOUR RHYMES AS
RECREATIONAL ♪ ♪ RECREATIONAL ♪
♪ A MODERN-DAY PRODUCTION OF
THE CITY STREET ♪ ♪ THE CITY STREET ♪
♪ YOU SAID I DIDN'T HAVE IT THAT I COULDN'T
COMPETE ♪ ♪ COULD NOT COMPETE ♪
♪ BUT THE SLEEPER DID SLEEP 'CAUSE
THE SLEEPER SHOULD'VE WOKE UP ♪
♪ NOW YOU'RE IN MY SIGHT THE
BUDDHA SAYS YOU SMOKE UP ♪
♪ THAT'S THE ELEMENT YOU
CARRY YOUR RHYMES ON ♪
SAY WHAT? ♪ THAT STYLE OF
RHYME WON'T LET YOU LIVE LONG ♪
WORD UP! ♪ 'CAUSE A STRONG
SONG THE MINISTER SENT ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I'M A PRODUCT
OF THE ENVIRONMENT ♪
COME ON, Y'ALL! COME ON, Y'ALL!
PUT THOSE HANDS IN THE AIR!
♪ SAY HERBAL'S IN THE LAB SAY
RICHIE RICH IS IN THE HOUSE ♪
♪ THE BASS IN THE HOUSE ♪
♪ I MAKE A TOUR WITH MY
MAN SEARCH MY MAN SEARCH ♪
- ♪ WHERE YOU FROM, SEARCH ♪
- ♪ I'M GONNA TELL YOU
WHERE I'M FROM, G ♪
♪ ON THE STREETS OF
FAR ROCKAWAY, QUEENS ♪
♪ EDGE ME A WAVE
'CROSS MY B-17 ♪
♪ REDFERN HOUSES, WHERE
FIVE-O WAS AFRAID TO GO ♪
♪ IT'S WHERE I FIRST
KICKED MY LINGO ♪
♪ THE CROWD WAS FLIPPED AS
I KICKED IT AND TURNED LEFT ♪
♪ AND MY REWARD WAS
ALMOST A CAP IN MY CHEST ♪
♪ NOW IN '90 I CAN
STILL SAY THAT ♪
♪ THE BROTHERS IN LIVING
COLOR THEY DON'T PLAY THAT ♪
♪ HAMMER, WHAT OR IN
EVERY NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
♪ LOOK AROUND AND SEE
ALL THE YOUNG HOODS ♪♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN' ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
♪ TAKE IT FROM ME IT'S A'IGHT
TO BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ AND HOW WOULD YOU FEEL
KNOWING PREJUDICE WAS OBSOLETE ♪
♪ AND ALL MANKIND
DANCED TO THE EXACT BEAT ♪
♪ AND AT NIGHT IT WAS SAFE TO WALK
DOWN THE STREET ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ EVERYBODY HERE
IS EQUALLY KIND ♪
♪ EVERYBODY HERE
IS EQUALLY KIND ♪
♪ EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY
EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY ♪
♪ EVERYBODY HERE IS EQUALLY
KIND ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ WHAT'S MINE IS YOURS
AND WHAT'S YOURS IS MINE ♪
♪ IN LIVING C-C-C-OLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN' ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
♪ TAKE IT FROM ME IT'S A'IGHT
TO BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
KEENEN IVORY WAYANS.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
WELCOME TO ANOTHER SHOW. YOU
KNOW, SOME PEOPLE HAVE CRITICIZED ME...
FOR NOT HAVING ANY
"FLY GUYS" ON THE SHOW.
SOME PEOPLE HAVE
GONE AS FAR AS TO SAY...
I MIGHT BE A LITTLE, UH,
THREATENED BY THE IDEA.
COME ON. THAT'S NOT TRUE AT
ALL. TONIGHT I'M GONNA PROVE IT.
WE'RE GONNA HAVE A VERY SPECIAL "FLY
GUY" PERFORMING WITH THE FLY GIRLS TONIGHT.
HE'S A GREAT DANCER...
YOUNG, GOOD LOOKING.
SO AFTER TONIGHT, I
DON'T WANNA HEAR A WORD.
SO LET'S GIVE IT UP. JOINING THE FLY
GIRLS, MY MAN, CARL JAMEL TAYLOR.
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
♪ TAKE IT FROM ME IT'S A'IGHT
TO BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
LASSIE! OH, LASSIE!
BUT MR. TOMPKINS, YOU SIMPLY HAVE TO FIX
SOME OF THE THINGS AROUND THE APARTMENT.
I FEEL IT'S NOT SAFE
FOR MY SON TIMMY.
I'LL TEACH YOU TO GO ON A RENT
STRIKE. I'M NOT FIXING ANYTHING.
IF YOU AREN'T OUT OF
THERE BY SUNDOWN, I'M
GONNA SEND SOMEONE
OVER THERE TO HELP YOU...
AND YOUR LITTLE DOG TOO.
UH-OH.
OH, DARN. NOW WE'RE TRAPPED
AND HAVE NO WAY TO CALL FOR HELP.
YES, WE DO. LASSIE! OH, LASSIE!
NOW, LASSIE, I WANT
YOU TO RUN AND GET HELP.
GO, GIRL! GO!
MEANWHILE, TIMMY, LET'S
COMFORT OURSELVES WITH A SONG.
♪ NINETY-NINE BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE
WALL ♪ ♪ NINETY-NINE BOTTLES OF BEER ♪
♪ TAKE ONE DOWN PASS IT AROUND ♪
♪ NINETY-EIGHT BOTTLES
OF BEER ON THE WALL ♪
- ♪ NINETY-EIGHT BOTTLES
OF BEER ON THE WALL ♪
- OH, A CROWBAR! THAT WILL HELP!
GOOD GIRL, LASSIE.
NOW, LASSIE, THIS TIME I WANT YOU TO
GET A VARIABLE-SPEED MAKITA BAND SAW...
WITH A CARBIDE-TIPPED
BLADE AND SAWDUST BAG.
HURRY!
♪ KUMBAYA, MY LORD ♪
♪ KUMBAYA ♪
- ♪ KUMBAYA, MY LORD, KUMBAYA ♪
-
GOOD GIRL.
AND DID YOU BRING THE
SPECIAL A.C. ADAPTER?
GOOD GIRL, LASSIE.
I THINK LASSIE'S TRYING
TO TELL US SOMETHING.
WHAT IS IT, GIRL? DO
YOU SENSE DANGER?
SHE'S BARKING IN MORSE CODE.
ONLY, WE DON'T KNOW MORSE CODE.
- WHAT ARE YOU TRYIN' TO TELL US, GIRL?
- SOMETHING TO DO WITH "ARM"?
UH, YOUR ARM'S TOO
SHORT TO BOX WITH GOD?
ARMANI? GIORGIO ARMANI?
ARMISTICE! LASSIE'S TRYING TO WARN
US THAT THE ARMS REDUCTION TREATY...
PROPOSED AT SALT II WOULD
BE DISADVANTAGEOUS TO NATO.
HEY, WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!
OPEN THE DOOR! TOMPKINS
SENT US TO COLLECT THE RENT!
SURE ENOUGH, THERE ARE
THOSE EVIL HENCHMEN NOW.
GOOD GIRL, LASSIE.
IF YOU DON'T OPEN THIS
DOOR, WE'LL TEAR IT DOWN.
OH! TIMMY, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
IF YOU LAY A FINGER ON THIS
DOOR, I'LL CHEW OFF YOUR ARM...
AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT.
UH, COME ON, GUYS.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
HEAVENS TO BETSY,
LASSIE! YOU CAN TALK!
I WANT YOU TO FORGET
YOU EVER HEARD THAT.
AW, LASSIE,
YOU'RE THE BEST DARN
DOG IN THE WHOLE WORLD!
ROCKY! ROCKY, I KNOW
THIS IS YOUR BIG COMEBACK,
AND I KNOW I CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD TO
TRAIN YOU, BUT THIS FIGHT IS PURE INSANITY!
NO WAY, BROTHER. YOU
JUST WANNA HUMIL... HUMIL...
EASY, ROCKY. NOT
TOO MANY SYLLABLES.
I GOT LIGHT-HEADED THERE. LISTEN, I STILL
GOT THE EYE OF THE TIGER. YOU KNOW THAT.
LOOK, ROCKY, YOU GOT THE EYE OF
A TIGER AND THE I.Q. OF A LIMA BEAN.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE FIGHTING A MAN
TONIGHT. YOU'LL BE FIGHTIN' AN ANIMAL.
ANIMALS DON'T SCARE ME.
YEAH? WELL, THIS ONE WILL.
ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY!
ALL RIGHT, FANS. HERE
WE GO. IN THE RED CORNER,
ROCKY BALBOA!
AND IN THE BLUE CORNER, THE
UNDISPUTED CHAMPION OF THE WORLD.
LET'S GIVE IT UP
FOR GRACE JONES!
THE ULTIMATE CHALLENGE.
HELLO, ROCKY. DO
YOU FIND ME SEXY?
I SAID, DO YOU FIND ME SEXY?
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, GRACE,
YOU'RE STARTIN' TO SCARE ME A LITTLE.
HARDER! FASTER! HARDER! FASTER!
HARDER! FASTER!
ENOUGH OF THE FOREPLAY, ROCKY.
IS IT GONNA BE YOUR PLACE OR MINE?
AW, COME ON, GRACE.
I GOT A WIFE AND KID.
THEN I GUESS IT'S
GONNA BE MINE, ROCKY.
SLAVE TO THE RHYTHM ♪
ADRIAN! ♪ SLAVE TO THE RHYTHM ♪
ADRIAN! ROCKY!
ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY!
ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY!
ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY!
♪♪
FOR THOSE SENSITIVE
TIMES OF THE MONTH
WHEN EMOTIONS RUN
CLOSE TO THE SURFACE...
HONEY, LOOK WHAT I GOT.
OHH. JUST BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.
THERE'S ONLY NINE. WHERE ARE
THE OTHER THREE, CHEAPSKATE?
GOD, YOU ALWAYS
TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT!
I HATE THE WAY YOU CHEW YOUR
FOOD WITH YOUR MOUTH ALL OVER IT...
LIKE SOME SORT OF
BIZARRE BARNYARD ANIMAL!
JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME!
I CAN'T SEEM TO DO ANYTHING
RIGHT. BOY, COULD I USE SOME HELP.
FOR THOSE SPECIAL
TIMES OF THE MONTH,
YOU NEED THE P.M.S.
DEFENSE SYSTEM.
HIGHLY TRAINED FEMALE
COUNSELORS WILL TALK YOU
THROUGH EVEN THE MOST
IRRATIONAL P.M.S. ARGUMENT.
FOR ONLY $300 A YEAR, YOU'LL RECEIVE THIS
TRANSMITTER THAT FITS SNUGLY IN YOUR EAR...
AND KEEPS YOU IN TOUCH WITH
P.M.S. CENTRAL 24 HOURS A DAY.
HELP. MY WIFE HAS P.M.S.,
AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
DON'T WORRY. I'M
RIGHT HERE WITH YOU.
GOD. YOU'RE SO INSENSITIVE!
WHY CAN'T YOU BE
TALLER? HEY, GIVE ME A...
STOP. STOP RIGHT
THERE. SIMPLY APOLOGIZE.
I'M SORRY, HONEY. YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'LL TRY TO GROW TOMORROW.
TELL HER YOU LOVE HER.
I LOVE YOU.
SEE. IT'S THAT... IT'S
THAT BREATHING THING.
IN AND OUT AND IN AND OUT!
GOD! YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY!
SHE'S ALREADY AT
IRRATIONAL LEVEL SEVEN.
THIS IS A CODE RED. DON'T SAY A
WORD. JUST GET HER SOME PAIN RELIEVER.
DON'T YOU SEE? THIS PLACE IS
DUST-RIDDEN, AND IF I DON'T DUST,
THEN YOU'RE JUST GONNA SUCK
ALL THE AIR OUT OF THE ROOM!
THE BOTTLE IS EMPTY! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!
- GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!
I CAN'T! I'M TRAPPED
IN A BATHROOM!
IS THERE A WINDOW? YEAH,
BUT IT'S FIVE FLOORS UP.
GO FOR IT!
BECAUSE NO ONE SHOULD GO
THROUGH THESE TIMES ALONE.
HEY! ARE YOU TRYIN'
TO AVOID ME OR WHAT?
♪♪
JAH ♪ AND NOW,
PUBLIC ACCESS TELEVISION CHANNEL
53 PRESENTS: MEN ON VACATION.
HELLO. I'M BLAYNE EDWARDS.
AND I'M ANTOINE MERRYWETHER.
AND WELCOME TO MEN ON VACATION.
TODAY WE'LL BE REVIEWING
OUR LITTLE EUROPEAN VACATION.
FROM A MALE POINT OF VIEW.
HERE WE ARE ON OUR LAST STOP ON OUR
WHIRLWIND GALLIVANT THROUGH EUROPA.
WAIT A MINUTE. WE
GOT A NEW SPONSOR.
SOMEBODY BETTER
CHECK THEIR MAIL.
TONIGHT'S BROADCAST IS
BROUGHT TO YOU BY JEWELS,
THE GUM THAT
EXPLODES IN YOUR MOUTH.
I BET YOU JUST CAN'T CHEW ONE.
AND WHO'D WANT TO?
WE STARTED OUR
LITTLE TRIP IN GREECE.
THE GREEK "PEOPLES" WAS SO NICE.
YES. THEY BENT OVER BACKWARDS
TO SHOW US A GOOD TIME.
OH, LOOK. EXCUSE ME.
NOT YOU, FISH. YOU
GO BACK IN THE SEA.
GARÇON.
OH, MAY I HAVE
ANOTHER WALLBANGER?
- AND FOR MONSIEUR?
- OUI, OUI.
BOTTOMS UP. DITTO.
IS THAT LITTLE RICKY SCHRODER? WHAT'S
HE DOIN' HERE? DON'T LET HIM SEE ME.
WHO'S THAT WITH HIM? YOU
KNOW, I THINK THAT'S ERIK ESTRADA.
OH, WELL. ANYWAY. NEXT WE
WENT TO HOLLAND, LAND OF DIKES.
HATED IT!
AND FROM THERE, IT WAS
ON TO MERRY OLD ENGLAND.
REMEMBER BIG BEN? OH,
HOW COULD I FORGET IT?
IT WAS SO NICE OF HIM TO
SHOW US AROUND THE CITY.
EXCUSE ME. BIG BEN WAS A CLOCK.
WELL, WE BOTH KNOW
WHAT TIME THAT WAS.
YOU'D BETTER STOP.
YOU KNOW, IT'S SO CHILLY OUT
HERE, MY NIPPLES ARE HARD.
THEN IT WAS JUST A HOP, SKIP
AND JUMP ON TO GAY PARIS,
BUT WE DECIDED TO GO
BACK TO GREECE INSTEAD.
AND THEN IT WAS ON TO SCOTLAND.
YOU KNOW, I FOUND IT TO
BE QUITE AN OPEN SOCIETY...
WHERE "MENS" ARE FREE TO EXPLORE
THE FEMININE SIDE OF THEIR NATURE.
ALL THOSE HAIRY LEGS AND
SKIRTS HOLDIN' THEM BAGPIPES.
MM-HMM. NOT SINCE THE FIRE
ISLAND HALLOWEEN BARN DANCE...
HAVE I SEEN SO MANY MEN IN DRAG.
JUST A HINT, FELLAS:
PLAID IS OUT THIS FALL.
OUR NEXT STOP WAS SWEDEN, BEST
KNOWN FOR ITS BEAUTIFUL, BUXOM BLONDES.
HATED IT!
SO WE WENT BACK TO GREECE.
BUT IT WAS VERY SAD WHEN WE HAD
TO LEAVE OUR SOLDIER BUDDIES BEHIND...
AND TRAVEL TO OUR FINAL
DESTINATION: THE FRENCH RIVIERA,
WHICH IS WHERE
WE'VE BEEN EVER SINCE.
OH, YES. AND TO SUM UP OUR LITTLE
EUROPEAN VACATION, WE'RE GONNA HAVE...
TO GIVE THE WHOLE TRIP A NEW AND
IMPROVED AROUND-THE-WORLD-AND-BACK SNAP.
TELL A FRIEND.
TUNE IN NEXT WEEK, WHEN WE'LL
BE BACK IN THE GOOD OLD U.S. OF A...
REVIEWING THE NEW
RELEASE, MEMPHIS BELLE.
IT'S THE STORY OF 10 YOUNG
"MENS" IN LEATHER JACKETS,
ALL SWEATY, STANDIN'
NEXT TO EACH OTHER...
AND THEM LONG, HARD BOMBS CRAMMED
TOGETHER IN A LITTLE OLD COCKPIT.
WELL, GREASE MY LANDING
GEAR, I'M COMING IN FOR A LANDING.
TOODLE-OO! SEE
YOU NEXT WEEK! BYE!
♪ IT'S RAININ' MEN, HALLELUJAH ♪
♪ IT'S RAININ' MEN, AMEN ♪
♪ I'M GONNA GO OUT ♪♪
ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH
FOR HANGING OUT WITH US TONIGHT.
THIRD BASS.
COME ON, MAN. GET
OUT OF MY WAY, MAN. LET
ME SEE EVERYBODY, MAN.
OH, IT'S LIKE THAT? YEAH, IT'S LIKE
THAT. KEENEN, THIS IS FROM THE GROUP...
AND OUR BOYS SHIRT
KINGS IN JAMAICA.
CONGRATULATIONS. BUST THAT.
RIPPIN' THAT UP FOR JIMMY
GETTIN' THE JOB DONE.
TOO BLACK, TOO STRONG FOR
TV, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?
WE WANNA SET THIS OFF THE
RIGHT WAY. HEY, YO, RICHIE RICH!
THAT'S THE WAY
WE GONNA RUN THIS.
♪ LET ME SEE SOME FISTS IN THE
AIR, JUST PUMP YOUR FISTS IN THE AIR ♪
♪ AND WAVE IT LIKE
YOU JUST DON'T CARE ♪
♪ AND IF YOUR GIRL
GOT ON FAKE HAIR ♪
♪ SOMEBODY SAY OH, YEAH ♪
♪ OH, YEAH ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ A LITTLE SOMETHIN' LIKE THIS ♪
♪ IN THE HEART OF THE
CITY YOUR POPS NUTTED ♪
♪ TWELVE MONTHS LATER
YOUR MOM STUTTERED ♪
♪ THE SITE OF YOUR
GRILL ILL "CREATIONAL" ♪
♪ YOU GREW UP YOUR RHYMES AS
RECREATIONAL ♪ ♪ RECREATIONAL ♪
♪ A MODERN-DAY PRODUCTION OF
THE CITY STREET ♪ ♪ THE CITY STREET ♪
♪ YOU SAID I DIDN'T HAVE IT THAT I COULDN'T
COMPETE ♪ ♪ COULD NOT COMPETE ♪
♪ BUT THE SLEEPER DID SLEEP 'CAUSE
THE SLEEPER SHOULD'VE WOKE UP ♪
♪ NOW YOU'RE IN MY SIGHT THE
BUDDHA SAYS YOU SMOKE UP ♪
♪ THAT'S THE ELEMENT YOU
CARRY YOUR RHYMES ON ♪
SAY WHAT? ♪ THAT STYLE OF
RHYME WON'T LET YOU LIVE LONG ♪
WORD UP! ♪ 'CAUSE A STRONG
SONG THE MINISTER SENT ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I'M A PRODUCT
OF THE ENVIRONMENT ♪
COME ON, Y'ALL! COME ON, Y'ALL!
PUT THOSE HANDS IN THE AIR!
♪ SAY HERBAL'S IN THE LAB SAY
RICHIE RICH IS IN THE HOUSE ♪
♪ THE BASS IN THE HOUSE ♪
♪ I MAKE A TOUR WITH MY
MAN SEARCH MY MAN SEARCH ♪
- ♪ WHERE YOU FROM, SEARCH ♪
- ♪ I'M GONNA TELL YOU
WHERE I'M FROM, G ♪
♪ ON THE STREETS OF
FAR ROCKAWAY, QUEENS ♪
♪ EDGE ME A WAVE
'CROSS MY B-17 ♪
♪ REDFERN HOUSES, WHERE
FIVE-O WAS AFRAID TO GO ♪
♪ IT'S WHERE I FIRST
KICKED MY LINGO ♪
♪ THE CROWD WAS FLIPPED AS
I KICKED IT AND TURNED LEFT ♪
♪ AND MY REWARD WAS
ALMOST A CAP IN MY CHEST ♪
♪ NOW IN '90 I CAN
STILL SAY THAT ♪
♪ THE BROTHERS IN LIVING
COLOR THEY DON'T PLAY THAT ♪
♪ HAMMER, WHAT OR IN
EVERY NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
♪ LOOK AROUND AND SEE
ALL THE YOUNG HOODS ♪♪