In Living Color (1990–1994): Season 2, Episode 8 - Laquita Meets Billy Dee - full transcript
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN' ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
♪ TAKE IT FROM ME IT'S A'IGHT
TO BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ AND HOW WOULD YOU FEEL
KNOWING PREJUDICE WAS OBSOLETE ♪
♪ AND ALL MANKIND
DANCED TO THE EXACT BEAT ♪
♪ AND AT NIGHT IT WAS SAFE TO WALK
DOWN THE STREET ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ EVERYBODY HERE
IS EQUALLY KIND ♪
♪ EVERYBODY HERE
IS EQUALLY KIND ♪
♪ EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY
EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY ♪
♪ EVERYBODY HERE IS EQUALLY
KIND ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ WHAT'S MINE IS YOURS
AND WHAT'S YOURS IS MINE ♪
♪ IN LIVING C-C-C-OLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN' ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
♪ TAKE IT FROM ME IT'S A'IGHT
TO BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
KEENEN IVORY WAYANS.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
WELCOME TO THE SHOW.
SOMEBODY CALL THAT MAN A DOCTOR.
WE APPRECIATE Y'ALL COMIN'. WE'RE
GONNA HAVE A GOOD TIME TONIGHT.
GOT A LOT OF
SURPRISES, SO SIT TIGHT.
WE'LL BE BACK IN A FEW. KICK IT.
♪♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
JASON ROBARDS ONCE SAID TO ME...
OR WAS IT HARVEY KORMAN?
WELL, WHOEVER.
HE SAID, "SOME PEOPLE
WERE BORN TO ACT,
"SOME PEOPLE LEARN TO ACT...
AND THEN THERE
ARE PEOPLE LIKE YOU."
GOD, I WAS TOUCHED BY THAT.
THE POINT IS, I TOOK
THOSE WORDS TO HEART.
AND IT WASN'T LONG AFTER THAT THAT I LANDED
MY BREAKTHROUGH ROLE IN FRIDAY THE 13th.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT MY
PERFORMANCE, SHALL WE?
♪♪
OUT OF MY WAY, BITCH!
THANKS. THANK YOU. THANKS A LOT.
BUT, YOU KNOW, THAT
TOOK MORE THAN TALENT.
THAT'S A LITTLE
SOMETHING CALLED SKILL.
THAT'S TECHNIQUE.
YOU'RE DOWN ON YOUR KNEE, A THROW
BACK OF A SHOULDER AND YOU'RE LOOKING.
AND IT'S A SINGLE
TEAR, AND WE'RE OUT.
OKAY. LET'S TRY SOME
SIMPLE EXERCISES, SHALL WE?
UP ON YOUR FEET.
COME ON. LINE UP.
OKAY. WE'RE HAILING A CAB.
COME ON, PEOPLE.
YOU WANT THAT TAXI.
IT'S RAINING OUT. YES!
ALL RIGHT. DIALING A PHONE.
ROTARY.
YEAH, OKAY. PUSH-BUTTON.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
CALLING THE ELEVATOR.
I DIDN'T SAY UP OR DOWN, DID I?
LET'S BE SPECIFIC
PEOPLE. THAT IS THE KEY.
UH, SPRAY AND WIPE.
YEAH?
WHAT? BERNIE SWORE
TO ME I'D GET THAT ROLE.
THE ONLY THING IN
THE SHOT WAS MY HAND.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
I LOOKED BITTER?
LOOK, HOW MANY WAYS ARE
THERE TO STIR DOG FOOD?
I... I WANNA TALK TO BERNIE.
ARE YOU GONNA BE OFF
THE PHONE SOON, 'CAUSE WE...
LOOK, YOU'RE GONNA GET
YOUR 15 DOLLARS' WORTH.
WHY DON'T YOU SHOW 'EM THAT
CLIP OF ME IN THE MOVIE OF THE WEEK.
THE, UH, THE LOVE SCENE. OKAY.
YEAH. HE'S IN A
MEETING WITH WHO?
JO ANNE WORLEY. OH, MY.
I BET SHE'S A HOT
PROPERTY NOW, HUH?
♪♪
OUT OF MY WAY, BITCH!
LOOK, I'M CALLIN' BACK IN 20 MINUTES,
AND BERNIE BETTER TAKE MY CALL.
HELLO? HELLO?
THIS ISN'T A COFFEE BREAK,
PEOPLE. UP ON YOUR FEET.
WE'RE GONNA DRILL
THESE BRUSHBACKS.
NOW, LET'S GO.
CONCENTRATE! CONCENTRATE!
GET OUT MY WAY!
GET OUT MY WAY.
GET OUTTA MY WAY.
NO, NO, NO! YOU
PEOPLE ARE PATHETIC!
LET'S DO IT ONE COUPLE AT A TIME...
YOU AND YOU. THE REST OF YOU SIT DOWN.
FOCUS. OUT MY WAY, BITCH!
YOU CALL THAT A FALL, PRINCESS?
YOU BETTER STAY RIGHT
THERE ON THE FLOOR,
'CAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY
YOU'RE GONNA GET A ROLE.
LET'S DO OUR HOMEWORK, SHALL WE?
WHO IS THIS WOMAN? UH...
UH, SHE'S SOMEBODY I
JUST GOT OUT MY WAY?
YES, OF COURSE, ON THE SURFACE.
BUT WHO IS SHE REALLY?
WHAT'S HER MOMENT BEFORE?
WHAT MAKES HER TICK?
HOW DOES SHE FEEL ABOUT BEING
PUSHED OUT OF THE WAY BY THIS GUY,
ABOUT BEING TREATED LIKE
SOMETHING HE STEPPED IN...
AFTER SHE TOOK HIM INTO
HER APARTMENT, INTO HER BED?
AND WHAT DID HE LEAVE HER...
NOTHING BUT THAT COLD SORE...
THAT TOOK ME TWO WEEKS AT
THE FREE CLINIC JUST TO GET RID OF.
LOOK, OBVIOUSLY WE'RE JUST NOT READY
FOR THIS SORT OF INTENSIVE WORK RIGHT NOW.
LET'S MOVE ON TO
SOMETHING SIMPLER, SHALL WE?
I'M SORRY, MAGENTA, BUT I HAVE
TO GO NOW. YOU HAVE TO GO NOW?
MM-HMM. THIS IS ONLY THE MOST
IMPORTANT CLASS OF YOUR CAREER.
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT, A HOT DATE?
NO. ACTUALLY, I HAVE AN ACTIN' JOB.
OH, SHE'S GOT AN ACTING JOB.
TINA LOUISE HAS AN ACTING JOB.
WHAT SORT OF JOB COULD YOU GET?
IT'S NOT MUCH. ALL I HAVE TO
DO IS STIR A BOWL OF DOG FOOD.
WAIT A SECOND. YOU'RE
NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
HOW DID YOU GET THAT PART? YOU
MUST HAVE PUT OUT FOR THE DIRECTOR.
GET OUTTA MY WAY, BITCH!
SEE? NOW, SEE?
I'M JUST ACTING. THAT'S WHAT I
WAS TALKING ABOUT... THE TECHNIQUE.
THAT'S WHAT HARVEY
KORMAN WAS TALKING ABOUT.
OR WAS IT, UH, CHAD EVERETT?
WELL... OH... WHO...
WHO PLAYED MANNIX?
UH, CALVIN LOCKHART?
NO. UH... UH, CLASS DISMISSED.
THE FOLLOWING IS A
PAID ANNOUNCEMENT...
BY THE FOUNDATION
FOR GOLF HERITAGE.
THE VIEWS PRESENTED ARE
NOT THOSE OF THIS STATION.
HI. I'M G.D. "BUD" SIMMONS,
MEMBERSHIP CHAIRMAN OF THE
SHOAL CREEK COUNTRY CLUB...
HERE IN BIRMINGHAM, ALABAMA.
IN RECENT WEEKS, WE
HAVE RECEIVED SOME...
NEGATIVE PUBLICITY.
THE P.G.A. REFUSED TO LET US
HOST A MAJOR TOURNAMENT...
BECAUSE WE HAVE
NO BLACK MEMBERS.
NOW, WHAT WE HAVE HERE...
IS A FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE.
AS YOU CAN SEE,
THERE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A
PLACE FOR BLACKS AT OUR CLUB,
AS LONG AS THEY'RE
NOT HOLDIN' ONE.
GOLF HAS ALWAYS
BEEN A WHITE GAME.
IT WAS INVENTED BY A WHITE
MAN IN SCOTLAND 200 YEARS AGO.
IF GOD HAD MEANT FOR
BLACKS TO PLAY GOLF,
HE WOULDN'T HAVE
MADE IT SO EXPENSIVE.
LET US HAVE OUR GAME.
AFTER ALL, WE DIDN'T COMPLAIN...
WHEN THE NEGROES
TOOK OVER BASKETBALL.
SOME OTHER CLUBS HAVE
ADMITTED BLACK MEMBERS,
AND THE RESULTS HAVE
BEEN A MITE DISTURBING.
HERE IS SOME FILM WE
SHOT IN A RECENT TRIP...
TO A FORMERLY ALL-WHITE
CLUB NEAR ATLANTA.
♪ TURN THAT DAMN MUSIC DOWN ♪
♪♪ ♪ NO, NO, NO ♪
♪♪
♪ YA GOTTA, YA
GOTTA YA GOTTA BE ♪
♪ THERE'S THIS GUY NAMED TONY ♪
♪ JUST TO BONE ME ♪
♪♪
♪ WHEN HE CAME CLOSE
HE KNEW HE JUST COULDN'T ♪
♪ GET ME THE FLY M.C. ♪
♪♪
♪ I LOOKED AT HIS FACE
AND THEN I THOUGHT AGAIN ♪
♪ MAYBE HE COULD HAVE
A CHANCE ♪ ♪ KICK IT ♪
♪ BUT NOW I CAN'T
GO THAT ROUTE ♪
♪ I LOOKED IN MY ZOOM
JUST HAD A DOUBT ♪
♪ HE'S NOT EQUIPPED
FOR MY KIND ♪
♪ I MEAN MY BODY,
MY SOUL AND MY MIND ♪
♪ THIS GUY WAS
NOT QUITE MY TYPE ♪
♪ I LOOKED AT HIM AND
I COULDN'T GET HYPE ♪
♪ I SAID OH, NO YOU
START TO GO HOME ♪
♪ YOU'RE NOT COMIN' BACK
BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT DOWN ♪
♪ REAL ♪
♪ GOT TO BE REAL ♪
♪ REAL ♪
♪ TURN THAT DAMN MUSIC DOWN ♪
♪ NO ♪
♪ KICK IT ♪♪
FRIGHTENIN', ISN'T IT?
IF YOU AGREE WITH US...
THAT THE HERITAGE OF THE GREAT
GAME OF GOLF SHOULD BE PRESERVED,
WRITE TO US AT THE
FOUNDATION FOR GOLF HERITAGE.
WE'LL SEND YOU ONE OF
OUR BUMPER STICKERS.
WE DON'T EAT OUR
GREENS. WE PLAY ON THEM.
THANK YOU.
♪♪
♪♪
EXCUSE US.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T
USUALLY GO ON BLIND DATES,
BUT I'M REALLY GLAD
SUSAN FIXED US UP.
YOU THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA?
YEAH. I'M GONNA HAVE A GREAT TIME.
YOU DIDN'T THINK YOU WOULD?
NO, I THOUGHT I'D HAVE A GREAT TIME.
- OKAY.
- YOU'RE A LOT PRETTIER
THAN SUSAN SAID YOU WOULD BE.
OH. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
DID SHE SAY I WAS UGLY?
SHE DIDN'T SAY YOU WERE UGLY.
SHE SAID YOU HAD BEAUTIFUL EYES.
I AGREE WITH HER. OH.
WELL, WHAT ELSE DID SHE SAY?
SHE SAID I WAS FAT, DIDN'T SHE?
SHE DIDN'T SAY YOU WERE FAT. SHE
SAID YOU WERE A COURT STENOGRAPHER.
YEAH, YEAH. WHICH I THINK
IS KIND OF AN ODD CAREER.
- I MEAN, I'VE NEVER HEARD OF ANYBODY...
- WHAT? DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID?
I DON'T THINK YOU'RE STUPID. I JUST
THINK THAT THAT'S AN INTERESTING CAREER...
FOR SOMEONE AS BEAUTIFUL
AND AS INTELLIGENT AS YOURSELF.
OH-OH-OH. YOU THINK I'M
TOO BRAINY. NO, I DON'T THINK...
YOU THINK I'M A NERD LIKE
URKEL ON FAMILY MATTERS.
I KNOW YOU DIDN'T
SAY IT, BUT YOU WERE
THINKING THAT. I WASN'T
THINKING THAT AT ALL.
I'M JUST SAYIN' IT'S
NOT... POPCORN?
- NO, THANKS. NO, BUT THANKS.
- OKAY.
SO, LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE
BIT ABOUT MYSELF. OKAY.
I WORK FOR JET MAGAZINE.
I JUST GOT THE COVER.
IT TOOK ME ABOUT TWO
MONTHS... YOU WEREN'T GONNA
OFFER ME THAT ONE
MORE TIME... THE POPCORN?
WHAT? YOU WANT... YOU THINK I
HAVE A WEIGHT PROBLEM, DON'T YOU?
I DON'T THINK... IT'S THESE PANTS. I
LOOK REALLY FAT IN THESE PANTS, DON'T I?
NO, YOU LOOK GREAT.
YOU LOOK SKINNY. I KNOW.
I MEAN, NOT "SKINNY" SKINNY.
I MEAN SLIM, YOU KNOW?
NICE BODY. NOT LIKE I'M
INTO THAT OR ANYTHING.
YOU KNOW, BUT... POPCORN?
IF YOU INSIST.
YOU THINK I HAVE A REALLY
BIG FACE, DON'T YOU?
I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE A BIG
FACE. YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL FACE.
YOUR NOSE... LIKE A
BUTTON. LOOK AT THAT.
YOUR FEET... NICE AND SMALL.
PERFECT, LIKE A CONCUBINE'S.
LOOK AT YOUR ARM. PERFECT. LOOK AT
THAT BALANCE. LOOK AT THE BALANCE.
LOOK AT THAT. YOU'RE
PERFECT. LOOK AT YOU.
TORSO... PERFECT,
GIRL. YOU ARE PERFECT.
YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING
ABOUT MY NECK. YOUR NECK...
AND CLAVICLE ARE PERFECT.
OKAY.
I'M REALLY GLAD WE CHOSE
THIS MOVIE. I LOVE MERYL STREEP.
YOU THINK SHE'S PRETTIER
THAN I AM, DON'T YOU?
YOU THINK SHE'S A LOT, LOT
PRETTIER. I DON'T THINK SHE'S PRETTIER.
NO. YOU THE PRETTIEST...
LOOK IN THE THEATER.
YOU ARE THE PRETTIEST ONE HERE.
LOOK AROUND YOU. YOU'RE PRETTY.
I'M TELLIN' YOU.
GIRL, YOU THE ONE.
CAN WE WATCH THE
MOVIE? ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
YEAH. OKAY.
♪♪
WHY DO YOU LIKE HER SO MUCH BETTER
THAN ME? I DON'T LIKE HER BETTER...
BECAUSE SHE HAS A BIG CHEST?
IS THAT IT? I DON'T EVEN KNOW HER.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU. NOT THAT
I DON'T WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU.
YOU GOT A NICE CHEST. I LIKE
YOUR CHEST. YOU GOT A NICE CHEST.
YOU GOT BIG, BODACIOUS
TA-TAS, ALL RIGHT!
OKAY? OKAY.
CARL, WHY DO YOU HATE ME? DAMN!
LOOK. HERE'S A QUARTER.
CALL A CAB, FIND SOME HELP.
HAVE SOME POPCORN.
I'M OUTTA HERE.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT GUY DUMPED ME JUST
BECAUSE I HAVE A LITTLE WEIGHT PROBLEM?
GOD, CAN YOU...
DO YOU THINK I LOOK
FAT IN THESE JEANS?
I KNOW YOU DIDN'T
SAY ANYTHING, BUT...
♪♪
♪ BOOM ♪
♪♪
SHOOT. HIYA, RICK! HI, ETHEL.
MORNIN', LAQUITA. I JUST CAME
OVER TO BORROW A CUP OF SLIM-FAST.
AW, NOW, LAQUITA, WHAT'S
THE MATTER THIS TIME?
ETHEL, RICKY FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY.
AW, NOW, HONEY, YOU KNOW
HE ALWAYS SURPRISES YOU.
MAYBE HE LEFT YOUR PRESENT IN THE
KITCHEN LIKE LAST YEAR. YOU THINK SO?
WELL, SURE. LET'S
GO PEEP IT OUT.
WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM
TO BRING YOU A SPECIAL REPORT.
THE BILLY DEE WILLIAMS
LOOK-ALIKE BANDIT HAS ESCAPED.
DO NOT... REPEAT... DO
NOT LET ANYONE INTO
YOUR HOME WHO LOOKS
LIKE BILLY DEE WILLIAMS.
WE NOW RETURN TO YOUR
REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM. ♪♪
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT...
TOTALLY DISSED ON MY BIRTHDAY.
AW, NOW, HONEY.
THAT'S ONE CHEAP,
PENNY-PINCHING CUBAN TIGHTWAD.
HELLO, BEAUTIFUL.
- BILLY DEE WILLIAMS!
- OH, MY!
WELL, DO YOU WANT
MY ARM TO FALL OFF?
OH, MY GOODNESS. HOW
DO YOU DO? I'M ETHEL MERTZ.
CHARMED TO MEET YOU. WELL,
ETHEL, I WISH YOU COULD STAY,
BUT SORRY YOU GOTTA
GO SEE THAT DOCTOR.
I DON'T HAVE TO GO TO
A DOCTOR. YOU DO NOW.
SO, RICKY SEND YOU
TO SURPRISE ME?
UH, YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. RICHIE
SENT ME HERE TO SURPRISE YOU.
OOH, OOH. BILLY, YOU GOTTA
SEE MY DIANA ROSS ACT.
I DO ALL THE GREAT SCENES FROM
MAHOGANY AND STUFF. ALL OF THEM!
WELL, I'D BE HONORED, FAJITA.
THAT'S LAQUITA.
ALL RIGHT, SO YOU SIT BACK, TAKE A
CHILL PILL, KICK OFF YOUR SHOES, RELAX.
I'M-A GO GET READY,
OKAY? ALL RIGHT.
TAKE YOUR TIME, LAGUNA.
JUST TAKE YOUR COAT
OFF AND RELAX, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU.
I'M A WINNER! I'M A WINNER!
AND EVERYBODY
LOVES ME... MAHOGANY!
AND YOU CAN'T STAND
IT. DO YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE YOU'RE A LOSER!
LAQUITA! RICKY!
IF I TOLD YOU ONCE, I TOLD
YOU A THOUSAND TIMES...
OH, THAT'S OKAY, RICKY. I
THOUGHT SHE WAS VERY GOOD.
- MY PLEASURE MEETING YOU,
LAQUITA.
- BUT WE ALREADY MET.
I WOULD'VE REMEMBERED MEETING SOMEONE
LIKE YOU, SOMEONE AS CHARMING AS YOU.
THAT'S TRUE.
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'D
LIKE TO, UH, CLEAN UP A LITTLE BIT.
OH, RIGHT THROUGH
HERE, BILLY. YEAH.
JUST USE ANYTHING
YOU LIKE. THANK YOU.
BILLY! BILLY!
HOW'D YOU GET THERE? UH...
LOBOTOMY LET ME IN.
I THOUGHT I TOLD
YOU TO RELAX. RIGHT.
HERE, TAKE YOUR
COAT OFF. SURE, SURE.
OKAY? YEAH, GOOD.
LAQUITA?
CAN I TALK TO YOU
IN THE KITCHEN?
NOW.
SHOOT!
HELLO?
WHAT HAPPENED TO EVERYBODY?
HAVE WE MET?
YOU LOOK FAMILIAR.
WHO ARE YOU?
I'M BILLY DEE WILLIAMS.
¡AYAYAY!
I AM CONFUSED.
UH, THAT'S HIM! THAT'S HIM!
THAT'S THE CLOWN THAT'S BEEN
IMPERSONATING ME AND RIPPIN' PEOPLE OFF.
ARE YOU GONNA BELIEVE THIS CLOWN?
LOOK AT HIM. HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY CLASS.
"CLASS"? BUDDY, YOU
WOULDN'T KNOW "CLASS"...
IF IT WALKED UP AND
BIT YOU ON THE BEHIND.
FREEZE! EVERYBODY! ALL RIGHT!
WE GOT THE BANDIT CORNERED.
YEAH, SARGE, BUT WHICH ONE'S
THE IMPOSTOR? WAIT A MINUTE!
I KNOW WHO THE IMPOSTOR IS.
HOW? HOW?
'CAUSE IF ANYBODY
KNOW BILLY DEE, IT'S ME.
ALL RIGHT, YOU, STEP UP.
STEP UP. I'M CALLIN' YOU OUT.
ALL RIGHT, NOW. THIS IS
THE SCENE FROM MAHOGANY.
IT'S SNOWIN', YOU
MAKIN' A SPEECH...
AND DIANA ROSS IS
HIDIN' IN THE CROWD.
NOW GO.
MADAM, WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO
PUT YOUR IMAGINATION TO WORK...
ON BEHALF OF THE CAUSE
THAT YOUR MAN'S FIGHTING FOR?
YES! MADAM,
WILL YOU LOVE AND CHERISH
HIM FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE?
YES!
IF YOU'RE WILLING
TO DO ALL OF THAT,
THEN I GUARANTEE THAT
YOU'LL GET YOUR MAN BACK.
OFFICER?
I KNOW JUST WHO
YOUR CRIMINAL IS.
THIS IS HIM. ALL RIGHT,
BUSTER, YOU'RE GOIN' WITH US.
WAIT! HOLD YOUR
HORSES, GENTLEMEN.
LAQUITA'S FORGETTING
THE END OF THAT SCENE.
IS THAT SO?
THAT'S THE IMPOSTOR!
THAT'S THE IMPOSTOR!
HEY, HEY! WAIT A MINUTE!
THIS IS DEFINITELY BILLY DEE!
WAIT A MINUTE, DORITO.
AREN'T YOU GONNA KISS ME TOO?
KISS YOU?
I'D SOONER KISS MY OWN BROTHER.
LAQUITA!
ALL RIGHT.
AS USUAL, I'D LIKE TO THANK
MY FLY GIRLS AND SW1...
AND EVERYBODY ELSE
FOR DOING THIS SHOW.
HEY, KEENEN, HERE'S A
TASTE OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE.
I HOPE YOU LIKED IT, AND DON'T
FORGET TO TUNE IN AGAIN NEXT WEEK.
YOU KNOW THE TIME,
YOU KNOW THE PLACE.
♪♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT
YOU WANNA DO ♪♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN' ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
♪ TAKE IT FROM ME IT'S A'IGHT
TO BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ AND HOW WOULD YOU FEEL
KNOWING PREJUDICE WAS OBSOLETE ♪
♪ AND ALL MANKIND
DANCED TO THE EXACT BEAT ♪
♪ AND AT NIGHT IT WAS SAFE TO WALK
DOWN THE STREET ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ EVERYBODY HERE
IS EQUALLY KIND ♪
♪ EVERYBODY HERE
IS EQUALLY KIND ♪
♪ EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY
EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY ♪
♪ EVERYBODY HERE IS EQUALLY
KIND ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ WHAT'S MINE IS YOURS
AND WHAT'S YOURS IS MINE ♪
♪ IN LIVING C-C-C-OLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN' ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
♪ TAKE IT FROM ME IT'S A'IGHT
TO BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
KEENEN IVORY WAYANS.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
WELCOME TO THE SHOW.
SOMEBODY CALL THAT MAN A DOCTOR.
WE APPRECIATE Y'ALL COMIN'. WE'RE
GONNA HAVE A GOOD TIME TONIGHT.
GOT A LOT OF
SURPRISES, SO SIT TIGHT.
WE'LL BE BACK IN A FEW. KICK IT.
♪♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
JASON ROBARDS ONCE SAID TO ME...
OR WAS IT HARVEY KORMAN?
WELL, WHOEVER.
HE SAID, "SOME PEOPLE
WERE BORN TO ACT,
"SOME PEOPLE LEARN TO ACT...
AND THEN THERE
ARE PEOPLE LIKE YOU."
GOD, I WAS TOUCHED BY THAT.
THE POINT IS, I TOOK
THOSE WORDS TO HEART.
AND IT WASN'T LONG AFTER THAT THAT I LANDED
MY BREAKTHROUGH ROLE IN FRIDAY THE 13th.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT MY
PERFORMANCE, SHALL WE?
♪♪
OUT OF MY WAY, BITCH!
THANKS. THANK YOU. THANKS A LOT.
BUT, YOU KNOW, THAT
TOOK MORE THAN TALENT.
THAT'S A LITTLE
SOMETHING CALLED SKILL.
THAT'S TECHNIQUE.
YOU'RE DOWN ON YOUR KNEE, A THROW
BACK OF A SHOULDER AND YOU'RE LOOKING.
AND IT'S A SINGLE
TEAR, AND WE'RE OUT.
OKAY. LET'S TRY SOME
SIMPLE EXERCISES, SHALL WE?
UP ON YOUR FEET.
COME ON. LINE UP.
OKAY. WE'RE HAILING A CAB.
COME ON, PEOPLE.
YOU WANT THAT TAXI.
IT'S RAINING OUT. YES!
ALL RIGHT. DIALING A PHONE.
ROTARY.
YEAH, OKAY. PUSH-BUTTON.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
CALLING THE ELEVATOR.
I DIDN'T SAY UP OR DOWN, DID I?
LET'S BE SPECIFIC
PEOPLE. THAT IS THE KEY.
UH, SPRAY AND WIPE.
YEAH?
WHAT? BERNIE SWORE
TO ME I'D GET THAT ROLE.
THE ONLY THING IN
THE SHOT WAS MY HAND.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
I LOOKED BITTER?
LOOK, HOW MANY WAYS ARE
THERE TO STIR DOG FOOD?
I... I WANNA TALK TO BERNIE.
ARE YOU GONNA BE OFF
THE PHONE SOON, 'CAUSE WE...
LOOK, YOU'RE GONNA GET
YOUR 15 DOLLARS' WORTH.
WHY DON'T YOU SHOW 'EM THAT
CLIP OF ME IN THE MOVIE OF THE WEEK.
THE, UH, THE LOVE SCENE. OKAY.
YEAH. HE'S IN A
MEETING WITH WHO?
JO ANNE WORLEY. OH, MY.
I BET SHE'S A HOT
PROPERTY NOW, HUH?
♪♪
OUT OF MY WAY, BITCH!
LOOK, I'M CALLIN' BACK IN 20 MINUTES,
AND BERNIE BETTER TAKE MY CALL.
HELLO? HELLO?
THIS ISN'T A COFFEE BREAK,
PEOPLE. UP ON YOUR FEET.
WE'RE GONNA DRILL
THESE BRUSHBACKS.
NOW, LET'S GO.
CONCENTRATE! CONCENTRATE!
GET OUT MY WAY!
GET OUT MY WAY.
GET OUTTA MY WAY.
NO, NO, NO! YOU
PEOPLE ARE PATHETIC!
LET'S DO IT ONE COUPLE AT A TIME...
YOU AND YOU. THE REST OF YOU SIT DOWN.
FOCUS. OUT MY WAY, BITCH!
YOU CALL THAT A FALL, PRINCESS?
YOU BETTER STAY RIGHT
THERE ON THE FLOOR,
'CAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY
YOU'RE GONNA GET A ROLE.
LET'S DO OUR HOMEWORK, SHALL WE?
WHO IS THIS WOMAN? UH...
UH, SHE'S SOMEBODY I
JUST GOT OUT MY WAY?
YES, OF COURSE, ON THE SURFACE.
BUT WHO IS SHE REALLY?
WHAT'S HER MOMENT BEFORE?
WHAT MAKES HER TICK?
HOW DOES SHE FEEL ABOUT BEING
PUSHED OUT OF THE WAY BY THIS GUY,
ABOUT BEING TREATED LIKE
SOMETHING HE STEPPED IN...
AFTER SHE TOOK HIM INTO
HER APARTMENT, INTO HER BED?
AND WHAT DID HE LEAVE HER...
NOTHING BUT THAT COLD SORE...
THAT TOOK ME TWO WEEKS AT
THE FREE CLINIC JUST TO GET RID OF.
LOOK, OBVIOUSLY WE'RE JUST NOT READY
FOR THIS SORT OF INTENSIVE WORK RIGHT NOW.
LET'S MOVE ON TO
SOMETHING SIMPLER, SHALL WE?
I'M SORRY, MAGENTA, BUT I HAVE
TO GO NOW. YOU HAVE TO GO NOW?
MM-HMM. THIS IS ONLY THE MOST
IMPORTANT CLASS OF YOUR CAREER.
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT, A HOT DATE?
NO. ACTUALLY, I HAVE AN ACTIN' JOB.
OH, SHE'S GOT AN ACTING JOB.
TINA LOUISE HAS AN ACTING JOB.
WHAT SORT OF JOB COULD YOU GET?
IT'S NOT MUCH. ALL I HAVE TO
DO IS STIR A BOWL OF DOG FOOD.
WAIT A SECOND. YOU'RE
NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
HOW DID YOU GET THAT PART? YOU
MUST HAVE PUT OUT FOR THE DIRECTOR.
GET OUTTA MY WAY, BITCH!
SEE? NOW, SEE?
I'M JUST ACTING. THAT'S WHAT I
WAS TALKING ABOUT... THE TECHNIQUE.
THAT'S WHAT HARVEY
KORMAN WAS TALKING ABOUT.
OR WAS IT, UH, CHAD EVERETT?
WELL... OH... WHO...
WHO PLAYED MANNIX?
UH, CALVIN LOCKHART?
NO. UH... UH, CLASS DISMISSED.
THE FOLLOWING IS A
PAID ANNOUNCEMENT...
BY THE FOUNDATION
FOR GOLF HERITAGE.
THE VIEWS PRESENTED ARE
NOT THOSE OF THIS STATION.
HI. I'M G.D. "BUD" SIMMONS,
MEMBERSHIP CHAIRMAN OF THE
SHOAL CREEK COUNTRY CLUB...
HERE IN BIRMINGHAM, ALABAMA.
IN RECENT WEEKS, WE
HAVE RECEIVED SOME...
NEGATIVE PUBLICITY.
THE P.G.A. REFUSED TO LET US
HOST A MAJOR TOURNAMENT...
BECAUSE WE HAVE
NO BLACK MEMBERS.
NOW, WHAT WE HAVE HERE...
IS A FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE.
AS YOU CAN SEE,
THERE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A
PLACE FOR BLACKS AT OUR CLUB,
AS LONG AS THEY'RE
NOT HOLDIN' ONE.
GOLF HAS ALWAYS
BEEN A WHITE GAME.
IT WAS INVENTED BY A WHITE
MAN IN SCOTLAND 200 YEARS AGO.
IF GOD HAD MEANT FOR
BLACKS TO PLAY GOLF,
HE WOULDN'T HAVE
MADE IT SO EXPENSIVE.
LET US HAVE OUR GAME.
AFTER ALL, WE DIDN'T COMPLAIN...
WHEN THE NEGROES
TOOK OVER BASKETBALL.
SOME OTHER CLUBS HAVE
ADMITTED BLACK MEMBERS,
AND THE RESULTS HAVE
BEEN A MITE DISTURBING.
HERE IS SOME FILM WE
SHOT IN A RECENT TRIP...
TO A FORMERLY ALL-WHITE
CLUB NEAR ATLANTA.
♪ TURN THAT DAMN MUSIC DOWN ♪
♪♪ ♪ NO, NO, NO ♪
♪♪
♪ YA GOTTA, YA
GOTTA YA GOTTA BE ♪
♪ THERE'S THIS GUY NAMED TONY ♪
♪ JUST TO BONE ME ♪
♪♪
♪ WHEN HE CAME CLOSE
HE KNEW HE JUST COULDN'T ♪
♪ GET ME THE FLY M.C. ♪
♪♪
♪ I LOOKED AT HIS FACE
AND THEN I THOUGHT AGAIN ♪
♪ MAYBE HE COULD HAVE
A CHANCE ♪ ♪ KICK IT ♪
♪ BUT NOW I CAN'T
GO THAT ROUTE ♪
♪ I LOOKED IN MY ZOOM
JUST HAD A DOUBT ♪
♪ HE'S NOT EQUIPPED
FOR MY KIND ♪
♪ I MEAN MY BODY,
MY SOUL AND MY MIND ♪
♪ THIS GUY WAS
NOT QUITE MY TYPE ♪
♪ I LOOKED AT HIM AND
I COULDN'T GET HYPE ♪
♪ I SAID OH, NO YOU
START TO GO HOME ♪
♪ YOU'RE NOT COMIN' BACK
BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT DOWN ♪
♪ REAL ♪
♪ GOT TO BE REAL ♪
♪ REAL ♪
♪ TURN THAT DAMN MUSIC DOWN ♪
♪ NO ♪
♪ KICK IT ♪♪
FRIGHTENIN', ISN'T IT?
IF YOU AGREE WITH US...
THAT THE HERITAGE OF THE GREAT
GAME OF GOLF SHOULD BE PRESERVED,
WRITE TO US AT THE
FOUNDATION FOR GOLF HERITAGE.
WE'LL SEND YOU ONE OF
OUR BUMPER STICKERS.
WE DON'T EAT OUR
GREENS. WE PLAY ON THEM.
THANK YOU.
♪♪
♪♪
EXCUSE US.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T
USUALLY GO ON BLIND DATES,
BUT I'M REALLY GLAD
SUSAN FIXED US UP.
YOU THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA?
YEAH. I'M GONNA HAVE A GREAT TIME.
YOU DIDN'T THINK YOU WOULD?
NO, I THOUGHT I'D HAVE A GREAT TIME.
- OKAY.
- YOU'RE A LOT PRETTIER
THAN SUSAN SAID YOU WOULD BE.
OH. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
DID SHE SAY I WAS UGLY?
SHE DIDN'T SAY YOU WERE UGLY.
SHE SAID YOU HAD BEAUTIFUL EYES.
I AGREE WITH HER. OH.
WELL, WHAT ELSE DID SHE SAY?
SHE SAID I WAS FAT, DIDN'T SHE?
SHE DIDN'T SAY YOU WERE FAT. SHE
SAID YOU WERE A COURT STENOGRAPHER.
YEAH, YEAH. WHICH I THINK
IS KIND OF AN ODD CAREER.
- I MEAN, I'VE NEVER HEARD OF ANYBODY...
- WHAT? DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID?
I DON'T THINK YOU'RE STUPID. I JUST
THINK THAT THAT'S AN INTERESTING CAREER...
FOR SOMEONE AS BEAUTIFUL
AND AS INTELLIGENT AS YOURSELF.
OH-OH-OH. YOU THINK I'M
TOO BRAINY. NO, I DON'T THINK...
YOU THINK I'M A NERD LIKE
URKEL ON FAMILY MATTERS.
I KNOW YOU DIDN'T
SAY IT, BUT YOU WERE
THINKING THAT. I WASN'T
THINKING THAT AT ALL.
I'M JUST SAYIN' IT'S
NOT... POPCORN?
- NO, THANKS. NO, BUT THANKS.
- OKAY.
SO, LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE
BIT ABOUT MYSELF. OKAY.
I WORK FOR JET MAGAZINE.
I JUST GOT THE COVER.
IT TOOK ME ABOUT TWO
MONTHS... YOU WEREN'T GONNA
OFFER ME THAT ONE
MORE TIME... THE POPCORN?
WHAT? YOU WANT... YOU THINK I
HAVE A WEIGHT PROBLEM, DON'T YOU?
I DON'T THINK... IT'S THESE PANTS. I
LOOK REALLY FAT IN THESE PANTS, DON'T I?
NO, YOU LOOK GREAT.
YOU LOOK SKINNY. I KNOW.
I MEAN, NOT "SKINNY" SKINNY.
I MEAN SLIM, YOU KNOW?
NICE BODY. NOT LIKE I'M
INTO THAT OR ANYTHING.
YOU KNOW, BUT... POPCORN?
IF YOU INSIST.
YOU THINK I HAVE A REALLY
BIG FACE, DON'T YOU?
I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE A BIG
FACE. YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL FACE.
YOUR NOSE... LIKE A
BUTTON. LOOK AT THAT.
YOUR FEET... NICE AND SMALL.
PERFECT, LIKE A CONCUBINE'S.
LOOK AT YOUR ARM. PERFECT. LOOK AT
THAT BALANCE. LOOK AT THE BALANCE.
LOOK AT THAT. YOU'RE
PERFECT. LOOK AT YOU.
TORSO... PERFECT,
GIRL. YOU ARE PERFECT.
YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING
ABOUT MY NECK. YOUR NECK...
AND CLAVICLE ARE PERFECT.
OKAY.
I'M REALLY GLAD WE CHOSE
THIS MOVIE. I LOVE MERYL STREEP.
YOU THINK SHE'S PRETTIER
THAN I AM, DON'T YOU?
YOU THINK SHE'S A LOT, LOT
PRETTIER. I DON'T THINK SHE'S PRETTIER.
NO. YOU THE PRETTIEST...
LOOK IN THE THEATER.
YOU ARE THE PRETTIEST ONE HERE.
LOOK AROUND YOU. YOU'RE PRETTY.
I'M TELLIN' YOU.
GIRL, YOU THE ONE.
CAN WE WATCH THE
MOVIE? ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
YEAH. OKAY.
♪♪
WHY DO YOU LIKE HER SO MUCH BETTER
THAN ME? I DON'T LIKE HER BETTER...
BECAUSE SHE HAS A BIG CHEST?
IS THAT IT? I DON'T EVEN KNOW HER.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU. NOT THAT
I DON'T WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU.
YOU GOT A NICE CHEST. I LIKE
YOUR CHEST. YOU GOT A NICE CHEST.
YOU GOT BIG, BODACIOUS
TA-TAS, ALL RIGHT!
OKAY? OKAY.
CARL, WHY DO YOU HATE ME? DAMN!
LOOK. HERE'S A QUARTER.
CALL A CAB, FIND SOME HELP.
HAVE SOME POPCORN.
I'M OUTTA HERE.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT GUY DUMPED ME JUST
BECAUSE I HAVE A LITTLE WEIGHT PROBLEM?
GOD, CAN YOU...
DO YOU THINK I LOOK
FAT IN THESE JEANS?
I KNOW YOU DIDN'T
SAY ANYTHING, BUT...
♪♪
♪ BOOM ♪
♪♪
SHOOT. HIYA, RICK! HI, ETHEL.
MORNIN', LAQUITA. I JUST CAME
OVER TO BORROW A CUP OF SLIM-FAST.
AW, NOW, LAQUITA, WHAT'S
THE MATTER THIS TIME?
ETHEL, RICKY FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY.
AW, NOW, HONEY, YOU KNOW
HE ALWAYS SURPRISES YOU.
MAYBE HE LEFT YOUR PRESENT IN THE
KITCHEN LIKE LAST YEAR. YOU THINK SO?
WELL, SURE. LET'S
GO PEEP IT OUT.
WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM
TO BRING YOU A SPECIAL REPORT.
THE BILLY DEE WILLIAMS
LOOK-ALIKE BANDIT HAS ESCAPED.
DO NOT... REPEAT... DO
NOT LET ANYONE INTO
YOUR HOME WHO LOOKS
LIKE BILLY DEE WILLIAMS.
WE NOW RETURN TO YOUR
REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM. ♪♪
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT...
TOTALLY DISSED ON MY BIRTHDAY.
AW, NOW, HONEY.
THAT'S ONE CHEAP,
PENNY-PINCHING CUBAN TIGHTWAD.
HELLO, BEAUTIFUL.
- BILLY DEE WILLIAMS!
- OH, MY!
WELL, DO YOU WANT
MY ARM TO FALL OFF?
OH, MY GOODNESS. HOW
DO YOU DO? I'M ETHEL MERTZ.
CHARMED TO MEET YOU. WELL,
ETHEL, I WISH YOU COULD STAY,
BUT SORRY YOU GOTTA
GO SEE THAT DOCTOR.
I DON'T HAVE TO GO TO
A DOCTOR. YOU DO NOW.
SO, RICKY SEND YOU
TO SURPRISE ME?
UH, YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. RICHIE
SENT ME HERE TO SURPRISE YOU.
OOH, OOH. BILLY, YOU GOTTA
SEE MY DIANA ROSS ACT.
I DO ALL THE GREAT SCENES FROM
MAHOGANY AND STUFF. ALL OF THEM!
WELL, I'D BE HONORED, FAJITA.
THAT'S LAQUITA.
ALL RIGHT, SO YOU SIT BACK, TAKE A
CHILL PILL, KICK OFF YOUR SHOES, RELAX.
I'M-A GO GET READY,
OKAY? ALL RIGHT.
TAKE YOUR TIME, LAGUNA.
JUST TAKE YOUR COAT
OFF AND RELAX, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU.
I'M A WINNER! I'M A WINNER!
AND EVERYBODY
LOVES ME... MAHOGANY!
AND YOU CAN'T STAND
IT. DO YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE YOU'RE A LOSER!
LAQUITA! RICKY!
IF I TOLD YOU ONCE, I TOLD
YOU A THOUSAND TIMES...
OH, THAT'S OKAY, RICKY. I
THOUGHT SHE WAS VERY GOOD.
- MY PLEASURE MEETING YOU,
LAQUITA.
- BUT WE ALREADY MET.
I WOULD'VE REMEMBERED MEETING SOMEONE
LIKE YOU, SOMEONE AS CHARMING AS YOU.
THAT'S TRUE.
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'D
LIKE TO, UH, CLEAN UP A LITTLE BIT.
OH, RIGHT THROUGH
HERE, BILLY. YEAH.
JUST USE ANYTHING
YOU LIKE. THANK YOU.
BILLY! BILLY!
HOW'D YOU GET THERE? UH...
LOBOTOMY LET ME IN.
I THOUGHT I TOLD
YOU TO RELAX. RIGHT.
HERE, TAKE YOUR
COAT OFF. SURE, SURE.
OKAY? YEAH, GOOD.
LAQUITA?
CAN I TALK TO YOU
IN THE KITCHEN?
NOW.
SHOOT!
HELLO?
WHAT HAPPENED TO EVERYBODY?
HAVE WE MET?
YOU LOOK FAMILIAR.
WHO ARE YOU?
I'M BILLY DEE WILLIAMS.
¡AYAYAY!
I AM CONFUSED.
UH, THAT'S HIM! THAT'S HIM!
THAT'S THE CLOWN THAT'S BEEN
IMPERSONATING ME AND RIPPIN' PEOPLE OFF.
ARE YOU GONNA BELIEVE THIS CLOWN?
LOOK AT HIM. HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY CLASS.
"CLASS"? BUDDY, YOU
WOULDN'T KNOW "CLASS"...
IF IT WALKED UP AND
BIT YOU ON THE BEHIND.
FREEZE! EVERYBODY! ALL RIGHT!
WE GOT THE BANDIT CORNERED.
YEAH, SARGE, BUT WHICH ONE'S
THE IMPOSTOR? WAIT A MINUTE!
I KNOW WHO THE IMPOSTOR IS.
HOW? HOW?
'CAUSE IF ANYBODY
KNOW BILLY DEE, IT'S ME.
ALL RIGHT, YOU, STEP UP.
STEP UP. I'M CALLIN' YOU OUT.
ALL RIGHT, NOW. THIS IS
THE SCENE FROM MAHOGANY.
IT'S SNOWIN', YOU
MAKIN' A SPEECH...
AND DIANA ROSS IS
HIDIN' IN THE CROWD.
NOW GO.
MADAM, WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO
PUT YOUR IMAGINATION TO WORK...
ON BEHALF OF THE CAUSE
THAT YOUR MAN'S FIGHTING FOR?
YES! MADAM,
WILL YOU LOVE AND CHERISH
HIM FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE?
YES!
IF YOU'RE WILLING
TO DO ALL OF THAT,
THEN I GUARANTEE THAT
YOU'LL GET YOUR MAN BACK.
OFFICER?
I KNOW JUST WHO
YOUR CRIMINAL IS.
THIS IS HIM. ALL RIGHT,
BUSTER, YOU'RE GOIN' WITH US.
WAIT! HOLD YOUR
HORSES, GENTLEMEN.
LAQUITA'S FORGETTING
THE END OF THAT SCENE.
IS THAT SO?
THAT'S THE IMPOSTOR!
THAT'S THE IMPOSTOR!
HEY, HEY! WAIT A MINUTE!
THIS IS DEFINITELY BILLY DEE!
WAIT A MINUTE, DORITO.
AREN'T YOU GONNA KISS ME TOO?
KISS YOU?
I'D SOONER KISS MY OWN BROTHER.
LAQUITA!
ALL RIGHT.
AS USUAL, I'D LIKE TO THANK
MY FLY GIRLS AND SW1...
AND EVERYBODY ELSE
FOR DOING THIS SHOW.
HEY, KEENEN, HERE'S A
TASTE OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE.
I HOPE YOU LIKED IT, AND DON'T
FORGET TO TUNE IN AGAIN NEXT WEEK.
YOU KNOW THE TIME,
YOU KNOW THE PLACE.
♪♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT
YOU WANNA DO ♪♪