In Living Color (1990–1994): Season 2, Episode 7 - Funky Finger Productions - full transcript

♪♪

YO! YOU'RE TOO SLOW. ISAAC,
TOOTIE, GET HIM OUT OF HERE.

BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, I'M THE
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER OF THIS SHOW.

WE GOT A THING GOIN'
ON HERE. I DON'T KNOW...

HE'S COOL, HE'S COOL. LEAVE HIM.

ALL RIGHT, SO ANYWAY, THE
CHICKEN CROSSED THE ROAD, RIGHT?

ANYBODY KNOW WHY THE
CHICKEN CROSSED THE ROAD?

TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE.

LOOK, UH, SHAWN, WE GOT A
SHOW TO DO, OKAY? CAN WE...

WAIT A MINUTE.

HE SAYS YOU'RE
NEEDED ON SOME SHOW.



MR. 1 SAYS "CHILL." HE'LL BE
UP THERE WHEN HE'S READY.

OH, WELL, YOU TELL MR. 1...

THAT SOONER OR LATER HE'S
GONNA HAVE TO GO HOME WITH ME.

NOW HE'S READY.

BYE, SHAWN.

SEE YOU AFTER THE SHOW.

♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN' ♪

♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪

♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪

♪ TAKE IT FROM ME IT'S A'IGHT
TO BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪



♪ AND HOW WOULD YOU FEEL
KNOWING PREJUDICE WAS OBSOLETE ♪

♪ AND ALL MANKIND
DANCED TO THE EXACT BEAT ♪

♪ AND AT NIGHT IT WAS SAFE TO WALK
DOWN THE STREET ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ EVERYBODY HERE
IS EQUALLY KIND ♪

♪ EVERYBODY HERE
IS EQUALLY KIND ♪

♪ EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY
EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY ♪

♪ EVERYBODY HERE IS EQUALLY
KIND ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ WHAT'S MINE IS YOURS
AND WHAT'S YOURS IS MINE ♪

♪ IN LIVING C-C-C-OLOR ♪

♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN' ♪

♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪

♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪

♪ TAKE IT FROM ME IT'S A'IGHT
TO BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, SW1.

WE'RE VERY CLOSE TO
SIGNING PAULA ABDUL.

IT WOULD BE QUITE A COUP.

OH, THIS IS IT, HOMEY.
THIS IS THE GREEN ROOM.

IS MADONNA DOWN HERE SOMEWHERE?

I'M MADONNA'S MANAGER.
SHE'S ON STAGE. CAN I HELP YOU?

THE MAN HIMSELF.
LOOK HERE, HOMEY.

I'M CLAVELL.

NOW I KNOW MADONNA MUST HAVE
MENTIONED ME BECAUSE WE GO WAY BACK.

MY COUSIN BOUDREAU DELIVERED SOME FLOWERS
TO HER GUESTHOUSE ONE TIME LAST YEAR.

NOW LOOK HERE. I HEARD
MADONNA'S BEEN IN TOWN FOR A WEEK...

AND SHE HASN'T
CALLED ME, YOU KNOW?

WELL, MADONNA'S
VERY BUSY. SAY WHAT?

WELL, WE ALL KNOW HOW THAT
CAN BE. I'M HOWARD TIPPS III.

I MANAGE A GROUP CALLED SATERN.
THAT'S WITH AN "E." S-A-T-E-R-N.

NOW I USED TO MANAGE
A GROUP CALLED STRATUS.

HAD TO FIRE 10 HORNS,
BUT WE GOT NINE LEFT.

BUT HERE'S THE KICKER. WE
HIRED A BRAND-NEW BASS PLAYER,

POLYNESIAN CAT FROM DETROIT.

FUNKY AS HE WANNA BE.

LET ME GIVE YOU ONE OF OUR CARDS.
YOU KNOW, I'M FRESH OUT. HOWARD.

BAM!

ALL RIGHT NOW. CHECK THIS OUT.

DON'T PAY ANY ATTENTION TO THE
DRAPES AND FIXTURES, ALL RIGHT?

MY NUMBER'S HERE ON THE BACK,
ALL RIGHT? I'M STAYIN' WITH MOMS.

DON'T CALL AFTER 11:00
P.M. NOT THAT YOU COULDN'T,

BUT IT'S A RESPECT
TYPE OF THING, ALL RIGHT?

THAT'S GREAT. UH, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'M
SUPPOSED TO MEET TINA TURNER UPSTAIRS.

IS LIL T IN TOWN, 'CAUSE SHE
HASN'T CALLED ME, YOU KNOW?

IKE HASN'T CALLED EITHER, BUT
THAT'S ANOTHER STORY, ANOTHER LIFE.

STOP IT! GREAT.
UH, SEE YOU LATER.

WHEN MY HAIR GETS STRAIGHTER.

HELLO, SUNSHINE.

YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T KNOW
ANGELS COULD FLY SO LOW.

CLAVEY, GIVE ME A SHOT OF INSULIN,
'CAUSE I'M ABOUT TO GO INTO SUGAR SHOCK.

GIRL, YOU ARE THE
SWEETEST THING.

HOWARD TIPPS III. THAT'S
SPELLED THREE-R-D.

AND I'M CLAVELL,
THAT'S WITH A "C."

LET ME GIVE YOU ONE OF MY CALLING
CARDS. YOU KNOW, I'M FRESH OUT. HOWARD.

BAM!

ALL RIGHT, NOW, CHECK THIS OUT.

PAY NO ATTENTION TO THAT SIGN
LANGUAGE STUFF ON THE FRONT, ALL RIGHT?

'CAUSE THAT'S NOT WHAT
WE'RE ALL ABOUT, OKAY?

BUT, LOOK HERE, NOT THAT WE
AIN'T DOWN WITH THE DEAF. GET IT?

NOW, THIS IS B.D.'S BEEPER NUMBER,
ALL RIGHT? YOU CAN CALL ME ANYTIME.

I DON'T THINK MY
HUSBAND WOULD APPROVE.

BAM! IN REVERSE!

NOT THAT WE'RE CHEAP
OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

BUT IT'S ABOUT THAT WHOLE
BIG RECYCLING THING, YOU KNOW?

EXCUSE ME.

SALMON! CAKES.

AHH!

EXCUSE ME, ARE YOU
IN THIS AGENT BUSINESS?

ACTUALLY, I'M A FILM
PRODUCER. RIGHT.

AIN'T THAT A BLIP? 'SCUSE
ME, BUT WE ARE TOO.

YOU PROBABLY HEARD OF US...
FUNKY FINGER PRODUCTIONS.

YOU KNOW OUR CALLIN' CARD,
THE SCRATCH AND SNIFF ONE.

N-NO, I HAVEN'T HEARD
OF YOU GUYS. WELL, LOOK.

I'M ON THE CREATIVE END AND
CLAVEY HANDLES THE BUSINESS.

HE'S GOT A LOT OF EXPERIENCE... AMWAY,
HERBAL LIFE AND, DIG THIS, DICK GREGORY.

WE GOTS TO BE DOWN WITH THE
BROTHERS, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'.

BUT HERE'S THE KICKER. YOU
REMEMBER THEM LITTLE SEA MONKEYS?

I'M GONNA BRING 'EM
BACK, HOMEY, ONLY THIS

TIME I'M PUTTIN' LITTLE
COWBOY HATS ON 'EM.

WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH
PRODUCING MOVIES? YOU DON'T GET IT, HUH?

WE TAKE THE PROFITS FROM THE SEA
MONKEYS AND DUMP 'EM INTO OUR MOVIE.

NOW, LOOK HERE.
ALREADY SHOT THE TRAILER.

BAM!

CALM YOURSELF. THIS IS ON CAMCORDER,
BUT THIS SUCKER REALLY COOKS.

NOW, LOOK HERE. WE CALL
THIS PENITENTIARY FOUR.

BUT DIG IT, YOU PUT YOUR DUCATS
DOWN, CALL IT ANYTHING YOU WANT!

'SCUSE ME, BABY. I'M SORRY.

OH, LOOK HERE, THIS IS A
PROBLEM. THE LENS CAP WAS ON.

ALL RIGHT, YOU READY?

CLAVEY, LET ME FINISH UP FRYING
UP THIS HERE BALONEY, ALL RIGHT?

HOW MANY TIMES I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU I'M
ON A BUDGET? NOW GO AHEAD ON AND START.

OH, RIGHT. ALL RIGHT,
GO AHEAD. KICK IT.

GIVE IT UP, Y'ALL. ACTION.
THAT'S ACTION, CLAVEY.

OH, I-I'M SORRY. ACTIONINI.

HERE WE GO. NOW, I BEEN IN THIS
PENITENTIARY THREE TIMES ALREADY,

SO I GUESS THAT MAKES
THIS PENITENTIARY FOUR.

NOW WHAT'S THAT BOOGER ON THE
SIDE OF YO CHEEK? THAT'S A SCAR.

AND LOOKIN' GOOD TOO. SORRY. NOW, TELL ME
ONE MORE THING. WHAT'S THIS BUTTON HERE DO?

NOW THAT SPELLS BIG
BUCKS. WHAT DO YOU SAY?

OH, YOU-YOU SPEECHLESS?
WELL, LET ME GIVE YOU THE KICKER.

LOOK HERE. WHAT WE TRYIN' TO DO IS
KINDA COMBINE BLACULA MEETS COFFY.

NOW YOU KNOW WHAT THAT SPELLS...
MORE DUCATS IN THE HIP POCKET!

YOU KNOW? EXCUSE ME, I GOTTA GO.

HE'S NOT DOWN. WELL,
HIS LOSS, OUR GAIN.

DIG THAT. THOSE ARE THE GUYS.

HEY, Y'ALL, PARTY OVER HERE!

I TOLD YOU MADONNA
WOULD BE DOWN WITH US.

YOU, GUYS? WEREN'T YOU IN SISTER
SLEDGE'S GREEN ROOM YESTERDAY?

OH, YES. OH, IS THE SISTER IN
TOWN, 'CAUSE SHE HASN'T CALLED ME!

LOOK HERE. YOU'RE PROBABLY
HERE TO MOVE MY TORINO.

NOW THIS KEY IS FOR
MY CRIB IN EL SEGUNDO.

IT'S IN FORECLOSURE, BUT THAT
AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A BUSINESS DEAL.

GIVE HIM A CARD, HOMEY. BAM!

AT THIS SEASON'S INTERNATIONAL
FASHION SHOW IN PARIS,

IRAQI FASHION DESIGNER
MACBAR AL FAKAR...

TOOK TOP HONORS BUT ALSO
HIS LIFE IN HIS OWN HANDS...

WHEN HE REVEALED HIS RADICAL NEW
LINE UPDATING TRADITIONAL GARMENTS...

WHICH HAD NOT BEEN ALTERED
FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS.

THIS YEAR, FAKAR HAS TAKEN
DARING RISKS WITH HEMLINES...

SOMETIMES REVEALING
ALMOST AN ENTIRE ANKLE.

THE BEAUTY OF FAKAR'S DESIGNS IS
THAT THEY CAN BE WORN ANYWHERE.

ACTUALLY, FAKAR EXPLAINED
THEY MUST BE WORN EVERYWHERE,

AT ALL TIMES, ACCORDING TO LAW.

FAKAR ALSO GAVE A
TANTALIZING PREVIEW...

OF WHAT THEY'LL BE WEARING ON
THE IRAQI BEACHES THIS SEASON.

THAT IS, WHAT THEY WOULD BE WEARING
IF THEY WERE ALLOWED ON THE BEACHES.

THE DESIGNS OF MACBAR AL FAKAR,

KEEPING IRAQI WOMEN ONE STEP AHEAD,
BUT ALWAYS THREE STEPS BEHIND THE MEN.

THIS IS ELSA KLUTCH WITH ANOTHER
STYLE MINUTE FOR FOX NEWS, PARIS.

YOU KNOW, WE DO WHATEVER WE
DO TO SURVIVE, BROTHER. DROP IT!

♪♪

♪ T-T-THE RHYTHM THE REBEL ♪

♪ DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE
DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE ♪

♪ YE-YE-YES HOW LOW CAN YOU GO ♪

♪ TELL 'EM THAT WE CAN DO THIS ♪
♪ HERE WE GO AGAIN ♪

♪ UH ♪
♪ YOUR BAD SELF ♪

♪ UH ♪
♪ YOUR BAD SELF ♪

♪ HELP US BREAK THIS
STUFF UP OFF THE SHELF ♪♪

♪♪

CHILDREN, THE FIRST ACT WAS
SIMPLY WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL.

JUST BE SURE TO SPEAK
CLEARLY, OKAY? AND EDNA LOUISE?

EDNA LOUISE, YOU COME AWAY FROM
THAT FIRE ALARM FOR THE FIFTH TIME TODAY!

MRS. KEEGAN, I CANNOT POSSIBLY
PLAY THE SHEEP! WHY NOT?

- BECAUSE I HAVE AN OCASA
CALACK ADILELAAAA PHOBIA.
- OOH! WHAT'S THAT?

IT'S A FEAR OF WEARING A STUPID
OLD, SMELLY SHEEP COSTUME...

WHEN YOU REALLY SHOULD
HAVE BEEN A PRINCESS.

OKAY, WELL, IF YOU'RE
NOT FEELING WELL, I

GUESS WE'LL JUST HAVE
TO CALL YOUR MOTHER THEN.

OH, YOU KNOW SOMETHING.
IT'S AMAZING! I'M CURED!

PARNELL, THERE'LL BE NO
MORE SPITTING FROM YOU.

I'M NOT SPITTING! I HAPPEN TO
HAVE A SEVERE ALIGNMENT PROBLEM...

THAT MAKES IT DIFFICULT
FOR ME TO CONTAIN MY SALIVA.

YEAH! IN OTHER WORDS,
YOU'VE GOT BUCKY BEAVER BITE!

I DO NOT, EDNA!

EDNA LOUISE, YOU STOP IT!

- OKAY, MEAN OLD WITCH.
- WHAT DID YOU SAY?

I SAID, "WHATEVER YOU
WISH, YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS."

CHILDREN, WE HAVE FIVE MORE MINUTES,
OKAY, SO IF YOU HAVE TO GO, GO NOW.

GO WHERE? TO THE BATHROOM.

MADE YOU LOOK, MADE YOU STARE,
MADE YOU EAT YOUR UNDERWEAR.

OH, YOU SHUT UP, EDNA LOUISE.

HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT, TAMMY? I'LL
GONNA DO YOU THIS BIG FAVOR, SEE.

I'LL LET YOU BE THE BEAUTIFUL SHEEP
AND I'LL JUST BE THE DUMB OLD PRINCESS.

GO AWAY EVIL, UGLY EDNA. I DON'T
WANNA BE A STUPID SHEEP. OH, YEAH?

WELL, I KNOW A SECRET
ABOUT YOU. NO, YOU DON'T!

YES, I DO! NO, YOU DON'T!

YES, I DO! INFINITY!
YOU'RE ADOPTED!

I AM NOT!

YES, YOU ARE! NO, I'M NOT!

YES, YOU ARE! I SAW YOUR PICTURE
ON... AMERICA'S MOST ADOPTED.

AND, UM, AND IF YOU GO OUT THERE, THE
WHOLE AUDIENCE WILL RECOGNIZE YOU...

AND, UH, SEE, IF YOU'RE THE
SHEEP THEN THEY WON'T SEE YOU.

YOU SHUT UP, EDNA
LOUISE! THAT'S NOT TRUE!

HEY, DON'T TAKE IT SO HARD.

HA HA HA, EDNA. YOU.

I TOLD YOU. NOBODY WANTS TO...

YOU BETTER STOP...
YOU'RE NEVER GONNA...

PARNELL, HOW MANY TIMES
HAVE I TOLD YOU THAT'S IMPOLITE.

SHE WAS THE ONE.

AND YOU, MISS, YOU BETTER
LEARN HOW TO BEHAVE YOURSELF.

WHATEVER YOU SAY,
PRUNEFACE. WHAT DID YOU SAY?

I SAID, "OH, WOW, I
LOVE THE HUMAN RACE!"

CHILDREN! WE HAVE
ABOUT FIVE MORE MINUTES.

WE'RE GETTING READY TO START
THE SHOW RIGHT NOW. PLEASE COME IN.

♪♪

BAA! BAA!

I AM THE BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS...

AND... AND I'M ADOPTED!

AHA! YOU EVIL WITCH,

YOUR PLAN HAS BEEN FOILED!

AND I, THE TRUE
PRINCESS OF THE KINGDOM,

MUST COME HERE
TO CLAIM MY LOVE...

FARMER BROWN...
PLAYED BY PARNELL.

HEY, UH, PARNELL, YOU'RE ON.

WAY TO GO, BARFASAURUS!

OH, MY TRUE LOVE... YOU'RE
WRECKIN' THE WHOLE PRODUCTION.

PARNELL, JUST SAY YOUR LINES.

I AM A FARMER...

AND I HAVE COME TO-TO, UH...

I'VE TRAVELED VERY FAR. I'VE
TRAVELED VERY FAR, 'CAUSE...

NOW I MUST KISS THE BEAUTIFUL
PRINCESS, EDNA LOUISE.

NOW I MUST KISS THE BEAUTIFUL PRIN...
HEY, I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT.

YUCK!

WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR,
EDNA-PEDNA-BIG-FAT-NEDNA?

'CAUSE I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU!

THAT'S THE GROSSEST, MOST VOMIT-LIKE THING
THAT'S EVER HAPPENED. YOU ARE A VOMITORE.

YUCK! I KISSED A SHEEP!

BUT, ALAS! I AM NOT A SHEEP.

I AM A PRINCESS IN SHEEP'S
CLOTHING. IT'S A MIRACLE!

THEY ALL LIVED... THEY ALL
LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

THE END! EDNA LOUISE!

THANK YOU.

EDNA LOUISE, YOU COME
AWAY FROM THAT FIRE ALARM!

BUFFED, BEAUTIFUL AND BITCHIN',

THE AT-HOME WORKOUT
WITH VERA DE MILO.

HI, I'M VERA DE MILO. AND
THANKS FOR TUNING IN.

YOU KNOW, BEFORE I LEARNED
HOW TO EXERCISE PROPERLY,

I WAS A POOR EXCUSE FOR A WOMAN.

JUST LOOK AT THOSE UNSIGHTLY LUMPS
OF LARD PROTRUDING FROM MY STERNUM.

I WAS SO WEAK AND
FRAIL BACK THEN.

I COULDN'T EVEN TEAR A
TELEPHONE BOOK IN HALF.

BUT I MADE THAT
CHANGE AND YOU CAN TOO.

SO, LET'S GET BUSY BURNING
OFF THOSE BOTHERSOME BAZOOMS.

GIRLS, ARE YOU READY?

ALL RIGHTY.

♪♪ LET'S START WITH
A STRETCH... AND DOWN.

OKAY, NOW YOU TRY.

SEE HOW THOSE BIG BREASTS
JUST WEIGH THEM DOWN?

I'M TELLIN' YA, YOU CAN'T FLOAT
'TIL YOU GET RID OF THOSE SINKERS.

AND NOW THE SHOULDERS.

COME ON, GIRLS. OH,
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

UH-UH, THAT'S RIGHT.

NOW, THIS ONE. JUST
PULL IT AND PULL IT.

REALLY PULL IT. REALLY...

OH, WOW!

THAT'S GONNA BE SORE IN THE
MORNING, BUT IT HURTS SO GOOD.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY
SAY... "NO PAIN, NO GAIN."

NOW, BEFORE ATTEMPTING
ANY SERIOUS LIFTING,

I CAN'T STRESS ENOUGH THE IMPORTANCE
OF EATING A HEALTHY BREAKFAST.

OF COURSE, I PREFER MINE
IN CONCENTRATED FORM.

ANOTHER ADVANTAGE OF
MY AT-HOME WORKOUT...

IS THAT THERE'S NO NEED FOR
INVESTING IN COSTLY WEIGHT SETS.

WITH JUST A LITTLE IMAGINATION,

A FEW HEFTY HOUSEHOLD
APPLIANCES WILL DO JUST AS WELL.

DEIDRE, THE SECRET TO A STRONG,
FLAT CHAMPIONSHIP CHEST...

IS BREAST BOMBARDMENT
WITH MAXIMUM WEIGHT.

ARE YOU READY?

ALL RIGHTY!

THAT'S THE SPIRIT! SHOW
THOSE MAMMARIES NO MERCY!

HEY, KIDS, IT'S TIME FOR
VERA'S VANITY TABLE.

YOU KNOW, SOME WOMEN SPEND A LOT
OF MONEY ON LIPSTICKS AND GLOSSES...

TO MAKE THEIR LIPS LOOK FULLER.

I SAY YOU CAN GET THE
SAME EFFECT NATURALLY...

WITH A NICE, HOT CURLING IRON.

WATCH.

OF COURSE, IT HELPS TO
HAVE A HIGH PAIN THRESHOLD.

BUT BELIEVE ME, WHEN THESE BABIES START
TO BLISTER, LOOK OUT MICHELLE PFEIFFER!

TILL NEXT TIME... TOODLE-OO.

♪♪

♪ COME LISTEN TO THE STORY
ABOUT THE 'BROS, ICE AND WIZ ♪

♪ TWO HOMEBOYS FROM THE STREETS
WHO WAS ALWAYS GETTIN' DISSED ♪

♪ THEY SAID CALIFORNIA IS THE
PLACE THAT'S LOOKIN' GOOD ♪

♪ SO THEY FOUND AN EMPTY TRUCK AND
THEY MOVED TO HOLLYWOOD HILLS THAT IS ♪

♪ TENDERONIES AND
THE FRESH DEF CARS ♪♪

YO! YO! YO!

WHAT'S UP? WHAT TIME IT IS?

YO! YO! WELCOME TO THE
HOMEBOYS SHOPPIN' NETWORK!

THAT'S RIGHT. I'M WIZ,
THIS IS THE ICE MAN.

CHILLIN'!

THAT'S RIGHT. BOY, WE MADE
THE BIG MOVE TO THE WOODS.

HOLLYWOOD, THAT IS.

WORD! NOW YOU SEEN IT
ON TV AND THANKS TO US,

YOU TOO CAN ENJOY THE
LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS.

THAT'S RIGHT! FOR ONLY $19.95...

NOT ONLY WILL YOU GET
MAPS TO THE STARS' HOMES,

BUT BLUEPRINTS AND FLOOR
PLANS OF THEIR SECURITY SYSTEMS.

AND, AS AN ADDED BONUS,

WE'LL THROW IN THIS
HERE KEY TO THE CITY.

YO! WITH THIS TWO-WAY
STEEL MASTER KEY,

NO DOORS WILL BE CLOSED
TO YOU... WINDOWS NEITHER.

THAT'S RIGHT. SHOW
'EM THE OTHER STUFF.

WHAT OTHER STUFF?
ALL THAT OTHER STUFF.

ALL RIGHT. WHO SAYS YOU GOTTA
BE IN FILM TO GET AN OSCAR?

NOT ANYMORE.

THAT'S RIGHT. USE ANY SHARP
OBJECT TO ENGRAVE YOUR NAME HERE,

BAM! THEN PUT IT ON THE SHELF,

BIP! THE HOOD OF YOUR CAR...

OR BE THE ENVY OF YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD
BY WEARIN' THIS AS A FUNKY FRESH MEDALLION.

THERE YOU GO.

BUT WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT.

YOU SAY "HOMEBOY." WHAT?

I SAY "HOMEBOY." WHAT?

I SAY "HO-HO-HO-
HO-HO-HO-HO-HOMEBOY." WHAT?

HOW CAN I HAVE MY PICTURE
TAKEN WITH A STAR? SAY IT.

NO PROBLEM.

I'M TALKIN' ABOUT A REAL STAR.

NO PROBLEM. WE GOT
HIM RIGHT HERE IN THE BAG.

HELP! HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!

YOU BETTER HURRY UP. 'CAUSE
THIS ONE PUTTIN' UP A MAJOR FIGHT.

STOP!

YO! TAKIN' PICTURES WITH
THE STARS CAN BE FUN,

BUT LET ME ASK YOU
THIS, WIZ. YES, ICE?

HOW CAN I SHARE SOME OF THAT
THERE CELEBRITY-TYPE WEALTH?

I'M GLAD YOU ASKED.

SIMPLY GET YOURSELF A CUT-OUT
OF YOUR FAVORITE STAR, UH-HUH.

PUT HIM IN A
COMPROMISING POSITION...

THEN SNAP AWAY.

I GUESS BO KNOWS
CROSS-DRESSIN' TOO.

NOW YOU SELL THIS HERE PHOTO
TO THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER...

OR JUST BLACKMAIL
THE CELEBRITY HIMSELF.

EITHER WAY YOU SLICE IT...

YOU TWO, DOWN THERE,
FREEZE! STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING!

SOUNDS LIKE
BEVERLY HILLS COPS 2.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT
THAT MEANS. IT'S SHOWTIME.

THAT'S RIGHT. WE'LL
SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

SAME TIME, DIFFERENT
STAR. PEACE!

WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT
WEEK. GOOD NIGHT.

♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT
YOU WANT TO DO ♪♪