In Living Color (1990–1994): Season 2, Episode 10 - Anton's Thanksgiving - full transcript
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN' ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
♪ TAKE IT FROM ME IT'S A'IGHT
TO BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ AND HOW WOULD YOU FEEL
KNOWING PREJUDICE WAS OBSOLETE ♪
♪ AND ALL MANKIND
DANCED TO THE EXACT BEAT ♪
♪ AND AT NIGHT IT WAS SAFE TO WALK
DOWN THE STREET ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ EVERYBODY HERE
IS EQUALLY KIND ♪
♪ EVERYBODY HERE
IS EQUALLY KIND ♪
♪ EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY
EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY ♪
♪ EVERYBODY HERE IS EQUALLY
KIND ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ WHAT'S MINE IS YOURS
AND WHAT'S YOURS IS MINE ♪
♪ IN LIVING C-C-C-OLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN' ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
♪ TAKE IT FROM ME IT'S A'IGHT
TO BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
KEENEN IVORY WAYANS.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
WELL, ONCE AGAIN, ME AND MY
CREW COME HERE TO DO OUR THING.
GLAD YOU COULD JOIN US.
SIT BACK. HAVE SOME FUN.
SHAWN, SET IT OFF.
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
ALL RIGHT, PAL. WOW.
GREAT PLACE. FOOD
LOOKS GREAT TOO.
LOVE THE AMBIENCE.
MAN, THEY ALWAYS GIVE
THIS TABLE TO THE BROTHERS.
GREAT. HOW'D THEY
KNOW WE WERE RELATED?
OH, WELL, YOU KNOW, TOM. EVERYBODY
KNOWS THE BROTHERS BROTHERS.
WE'RE CELEBRITIES, GOSH DARN IT.
I MEAN, WHY DO YOU THINK THEY ALWAYS
PUT US IN THE BACK BY THE KITCHEN?
OH. SO PEOPLE WON'T MOB US.
OH, IS THAT IT? YEAH.
WOW. THOSE MUST BE OUR DATES.
YES. ONE OF 'EM'S
A GREAT LOOKER.
I KNOW, BUT LOOK AT
THE OTHER ONE. EWW.
HI, I'M THERESA. HI, I'M PAM.
HI. HOW ARE YOU? HI, PAM.
YOU MUST BE THE TOMS.
YEAH, THAT WE ARE.
TOMS. HAVE A SEAT. HAVE A SEAT.
OH, THANKS. CAREFUL.
YOU OKAY? WATCH YOUR LEGS.
SO, WHAT DO YOU
GALS DO FOR A LIVING?
WELL, I'M A HAND MODEL. NO!
YEAH! OH, GREAT.
I'M IN MY THIRD YEAR
OF MEDICAL SCHOOL.
WHEN I GRADUATE, I PLAN ON
OPENING A CLINIC IN THE INNER CITY.
WOW. A HAND MODEL.
YEAH. LOOK AT THIS. WOW.
WHOA-HOA! BOY.
HOW DO YOU DO THAT?
WELL, IT'S PRETTY
TRICKY, BUT I STUDIED.
LOOK LIKE AN "A" STUDENT TO
ME, WOULDN'T YOU SAY? THANKS.
♪♪ HEY. WOW!
TOM! "CALIFORNIA GIRLS,"
MAN, OUR FAVORITE SONG!
HEY, IT'S MY FAVORITE SONG TOO!
NO. YES!
LET'S GO OUT THERE AND DANCE
OUR BOOGIE-WOOGIE STUFF...
ON THE DANCE FLOOR
WITH THE GET-DOWN BABY!
WATCH YOURSELF. WATCH YOURSELF.
OH! HOW CAN I WATCH MYSELF?
I'LL WATCH YOU FOR YOU.
HE'S SO MUCH HIPPER THAN I AM.
JUST LOOK AT HIM GO. GO, TOM.
TOM, GO UNDER.
LOOK AT THOSE MOVES. DON'T
YOU JUST LOVE THIS SONG?
HUH, ACTUALLY, I PREFER RAP.
I LIKE THE POLITICAL
STATEMENT IT MAKES.
YEAH. YEAH. UH, YOU KNOW,
THAT, I THINK, IS VERY IMPORTANT.
YEAH. I MEAN, THAT'S WHY I
LIKE "DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY,"
BECAUSE IT HAS A VERY
POWERFUL MESSAGE. YEAH.
WELL, I SUPPOSE.
OH, YOU'RE SO... WHOO!
THAT WAS GREAT. WATCH YOURSELF.
OKAY! THAT WAS GREAT, TOM.
HEY, TOM, YOU'LL NEVER
GUESS, MAN. WHAT?
MARCIA'S HER FAVORITE
BRADY TOO! GET OUTTA HERE!
REMEMBER THIS
ONE? "OH, MY NOSE!"
"MARCIA BUMPS HER NOSE,"
1972! I REMEMBER THAT. YES!
- I GOT ONE! I GOT ONE!
- WHAT?
♪ HERE'S CATHY WHO'S
LIVED MOST EVERYWHERE ♪
♪ FROM ZANZIBAR
TO BARCLAY SQUARE ♪
♪ BUT PATTY'S ONLY SEEN THE SIGHTS A
GIRL CAN SEE FROM BROOKLYN HEIGHTS ♪
♪ WHAT A CRAZY PAIR ♪♪
I LOVE PATTY DUKE!
OKAY. OKAY. OKAY.
HOW ABOUT THIS
ONE? ALL RIGHT. GO.
♪ FISH DON'T FRY IN THE KITCHEN
BEANS DON'T BURN ON THE GRILL ♪
♪ TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF TRYIN'
JUST TO GET UP THAT HILL ♪
♪ WELL, WE'RE MOVIN'
ON UP TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ FINALLY GOT A PIECE ♪♪
DON'T REMEMBER THAT?
WOULD YOU LIKE TO ORDER?
WHAT'S THAT?
OH, IT'S THE THEME FROM THE
JEFFERSONS. YOU DON'T REMEMBER THAT?
THOMAS JEFFERSON
HAD A SERIES? NO.
NO, IT WAS ABOUT A SUCCESSFUL
BLACK BUSINESSMAN...
WHO MOVED TO THE
EAST SIDE OF NEW YORK.
THAT'S NOT GONNA LAST LONG AT
ALL. THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
HEY, I'VE GOT A GREAT IDEA.
WHAT? LET'S ALL DANCE!
WOW! YOU'RE JUST SO SMART!
COME ON. WOW!
RACE YA. I KNOW. LET'S
DO THE BUNNY HOP.
I LOVE THE BUNNY HOP!
HEY, SISTER, CAN I
GET YOU ANYTHING?
YEAH, YOU CAN TELL THOSE
TWO TOMS SOMETHING FROM ME.
♪ BOLLY-LOLLY-LOLLY ♪♪
OH! HOP! HOP! HOP!
BUMP! LET'S DO
THE BUMP! OH, OKAY.
BUMPING. OH, THIS IS
TOO MUCH FOR ME, TOM.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
I FEEL DIZZY. YOU ARE
SUCH A GREAT DANCER.
THANKS.
- HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
- WHAT?
WHERE IS THERESA? OH!
SHE LEFT. AND SHE SAID
TO TELL YOU TWO TOMS...
YOU MAKE BRYANT GUMBEL
LOOK LIKE FLAVOR FLAV.
WOW. WHO'S FLAVOR FLAV?
I KNOW THE GUY, AND BRYANT BETTER GET HIS
TEETH FIXED, 'CAUSE THAT'S NOT ATTRACTIVE.
I GOTTA TELL YA.
I WOULDN'T WANT TO LOOK LIKE
FLAVOR FLAV, OR BE NAMED AFTER HIM.
WHAT'S HE GONNA NAME
HIS KID, TASTE-O TASTE-O?
YOU'RE SO WITTY. YOU
MAKE US FEEL SO GREAT.
OH, GOSH. I DON'T EVEN
KNOW HOW TO SAY IT IN WORDS.
WELL, TOM, I GOT AN
IDEA. WHAT IS IT, TOM?
HOW ABOUT WE SAY IT IN A
SONG? YOU'RE A SMART TOM.
HEY, BUSBOY, BRING US
OUR INSTRUMENTS. BUSBOY.
WOW. JUST LIKE AN
ELVIS MOVIE. THANKS, BOY.
♪♪
♪ YOU DANCE WITH YOUR THUMBS
UP YOU WEAR SADDLE SHOES ♪
♪ YOU DON'T HAVE OPINIONS
THAT CHALLENGE OUR VIEWS ♪
♪ YOUR SKIN IS SO CREAMY
YOUR EYES ARE SO BLUE ♪
♪ WE'RE A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN
'CAUSE WE'RE JUST LIKE YOU ♪
♪ WE'RE A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN ♪
♪ 'CAUSE WE'RE JUST LIKE YOU ♪♪
OVER 5,000 INMATES
ARE PRISONERS...
NOT ONLY OF THEIR
CELLS, BUT OF ILLITERACY.
THAT'S WHY BARBARA BUSH IS
TEARING DOWN THOSE BARS...
WITH HER "READ
IN JAIL" CAMPAIGN.
HERE'S BUDDY. HE JUST,
UH, STARTED YOUR PROGRAM.
THANKS TO YOUR PROGRAM, I
CAN READ MY SENTENCE NOW.
"TRI-PLE LIFE SEN-SENTENCE...
"WITH N-N-NO HOPE...
FOR PAROLE."
CONGRATULATIONS. WELL, NOW,
LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO JOHN HERE.
YOU KNOW, HE'S A
REAL SUCCESS STORY.
THANK YOU, MRS. BUSH.
BEFORE I COULD READ, I WAS FORCED TO
ROB CONVENIENCE STORES FOR A LIVING.
BUT SINCE JOINING
YOUR LITERACY PROGRAM,
A WHOLE NEW WORLD HAS
BEEN OPENED UP TO ME...
EMBEZZLEMENT.
YEAH, WE'RE SO PROUD OF HIM. AND
FINALLY HERE, THERE'S, UH, OSWALD.
HE'S ONE OF OUR, UH, MOST
ENTHUSIASTIC STUDENTS.
OH, YEAH.
THE PANCREATIC PHILOSOPHY
OF YOUR BOOK, YOU UNDERSTAND,
HAS "SYPHILLIZED"
THE SHAFT, YOU DIG?
AND OPENED MY "MUCAL"
MEMBRANES, YOU UNDERSTAND,
TO A WORLD... OH, YES...
A WORLD OF NOCTURNAL
COMMISSIONS.
WARDEN, MAY I? GUARD!
RUN A LOCKUP.
SO, WHAT YOU'RE
SAYING THEN, OSWALD,
IS THAT THE VISCOUS
"MAMMARIAN" GLANDS...
MM-HMM. WHICH
"SCROFULATE" MY WORK...
RIGHT. CLEARLY DISEMBOWEL
THE "PLACENTITUDE"...
OF THE VERY "RECTICITALITY"...
UH-HUH. OF MY VIRTUE.
AH, EXACTLY. "PUBILE."
IT IS THE
QUASI-MENSTRUAL... MM-HMM.
EXCUSE ME,
QUASIMODO... POINT TAKEN.
PHLEBITIS THAT MAKES
YOUR BOOK SO, UH...
CLITORIC.
OH, YES. AND REMINISCENT
OF THE OEDIPUS,
OR THE "PEDIPUS,"
DEPENDING ON WHICH END IS UP.
UH! I THINK I'M BEGINNING
TO SEE THE LIGHT.
THE ENTIRE PREMISE
OF MY BOOK WAS WRONG.
WAY OFF. WELL, I'D BETTER START
ON A NEW VERSION IMMEDIATELY.
BARBARA BUSH. DOING HER PART
IN THE FIGHT AGAINST ILLITERACY.
♪♪
♪ HOLD ON ♪
♪ HOLD ON ♪
♪ HOLD ON ♪
♪ HOLD ON ♪
♪ HOLD ON ♪
♪ HOLD ON ♪♪
HEY, EVELYN WOODS,
PURCHASE THE PRODUCT
OR VACATE THE PREMISES.
WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED
TO BE, A GUARDIAN ANGEL?
NO, I'M NOT, NOR
DO I CARE TO BE,
EVEN IF THEY RECONSIDER
MY APPLICATION.
- SO, UH, WHO ARE YOU?
- MY NAME IS DICKIE PETERSON,
CHERUB OF JUSTICE,
HERE TO PROTECT AND SERVE!
SO WHAT?
SO GET YOURSELF A LIBRARY CARD.
OH, BROTHER.
SITUATION RESOLVED.
HEY, FRANK, HOW'S IT GOIN'
TONIGHT? HEY, DICKIE, HOW YOU DOIN'?
PRETTY GOOD. PRETTY GOOD.
SORRY I'M LATE THOUGH. GOOD.
UH, YOU DON'T REALLY HAVE TO BE ON
TIME, DICKIE. YOU DON'T REALLY WORK HERE.
YEAH, WELL, THAT'S NO EXCUSE.
I BETTER PUT MYSELF ON REPORT.
- EXCUSE ME.
- DICKIE, I GOT
A CUSTOMER HERE, ALL RIGHT?
COME ON. OKAY, FRANK. I
BETTER CHECK INTO HOME BASE.
WOODCHUCK TO GRAY SQUIRREL.
WOODCHUCK TO GRAY SQUIRREL.
COME IN GRAY SQUIRREL.
DICKIE? IS THAT YOU, DICKIE?
MOM, THE CODE NAME IS WOODCHUCK.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO USE THE CODE NAME.
I DON'T CARE WHAT
THE CODE NAME IS.
IT'S 4:00 IN THE MORNING, AND IF YOU
DON'T GET YOUR BUTT HOME RIGHT NOW...
MAINTAIN RADIO SILENCE!
WHAT'S HE, ONE OF THESE
GUARDIAN ANGELS? UH, NO.
NO. NO, I'M NOT,
NOR DO I CARE TO BE,
EVEN IF THEY DECIDE TO
RETURN MY PHONE CALLS.
UH, HOW MUCH DID
YOU SAY THIS WAS?
I THINK IT WAS 79 CENTS.
HMM, I THOUGHT IT WAS 89.
HOLD IT. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
DICKIE, MAN, YOU
DON'T HAVE TO...
EIGHTY-NINE CENTS!
HOLD THAT GUY!
THANKS, DICKIE.
THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR, FRANK.
YOU GOT AWAY WITH
YOUR LITTLE SCAM THIS TIME.
NEXT TIME YOU'RE GOIN' DOWN.
GET LOST.
YO, MAN! WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?
IT'S OKAY, FRANK.
IT'S OKAY. YO, MAN.
HE CAN RUN, BUT HE CAN'T HIDE.
SOMEDAY I'LL SEE HIM IN
THE STREET, AND THEN BOOM!
DEATH TOUCH.
HEY, WAS IT WORTH IT,
MR. 10-CENT DISCREPANCY?
DICKIE, CALM DOWN. YOU'RE
GONNA GET IN TROUBLE, MAN.
- YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND, FRANK.
- I AM?
POSSIBLY THE CLOSEST
FRIEND I'VE EVER HAD.
REALLY?
YOU WANT TO TERMINATE
THAT FRIENDSHIP, FRANK?
THEN DON'T TELL ME
HOW TO DO MY JOB!
THE DUTIES OF THIS TRADEMARK
YELLOW BERET MUST ALWAYS COME FIRST.
NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I'D BETTER GIVE THAT
PARKING LOT A ONCE-OVER.
FRANK, YOU'RE NOT
GONNA BELIEVE...
WHAT'S GOIN' ON ON THAT
BENCH OUTSIDE! WHAT? WHAT?
WHAT? WHAT? WOODCHUCK TO GRAY
SQUIRREL. WOODCHUCK TO GRAY SQUIRREL.
WE HAVE A SITUATION HERE. A
GUY AND A GIRL MAKIN' OUT, DICKIE.
WHAT? IT'S JUST A GUY
AND A GIRL MAKIN' OUT.
HEY, GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER!
AND YOUR TONGUE TOO! DI-DICKIE!
MAN, DICKIE.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST MIND YOUR...
DICKIE, WHAT IS
WRONG WITH YOU, MAN?
HEY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, MAN?
CRAZY CHICK.
I HAD HIM DOWN ON THE GROUND,
AND SHE JUST STARTED KICKING ME.
THAT'S APPRECIATION FOR YA.
MAN.
LET ME SEE. IT'S PRETTY BAD. WHY
DON'T YOU JUST GO AHEAD ON HOME, OKAY?
YOU MEAN BACK TO THE BASE?
YEAH, BACK TO HOME BASE.
W-WHY DON'T YOU GET GRAY
SQUIRREL TO PUT SOMETHING ON THAT.
ALL RIGHT?
OKAY, FRANK. IF THAT'S
YOUR PREFERENCE.
LOOKS LIKE EVERYTHING HERE IS PRETTY
MUCH UNDER CONTROL NOW ANYWAY.
THANKS TO THE
CHERUBS OF JUSTICE.
WOODCHUCK TO GRAY SQUIRREL.
WOODCHUCK TO GRAY SQUIRREL.
- SITUATION RESOLVED.
- I'M COMIN' HOME.
SEE YOU TOMORROW NIGHT, FRANK.
ALL RIGHT, DICKIE. TAKE IT EASY, MAN.
UH-OH. SPOKE TOO SOON.
HEY, WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE
GOING WITH THAT SHOPPING CART?
DICKIE, MAN! DICKIE!
DAMN!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
AS YOU KNOW, WE VOTED
AT OUR SEPTEMBER MEETING...
TO INVITE ONE OF THE POOR
UNFORTUNATES FROM OUR CITY STREETS...
TO JOIN US AT OUR
THANKSGIVING LUNCHEON.
THANK YOU. IT WAS FELT
THAT HIS PRESENCE HERE...
WOULD MAKE US APPRECIATE
THE THINGS WE HAVE...
AS WELL AS GENERALLY MAKE US FEEL
GOOD FOR FEEDING A POOR PERSON.
SO, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO,
HERE NOW IS ANTON JACKSON.
ANTON?
I HOPE I'M NOT TOO LATE.
THE LIMO DROPPED
ME OFF TOO SOON.
IT HAD ONE OF THEM BUMPERS
YOU COULDN'T HANG ON TO.
THAT'S QUITE ALL
RIGHT, MR. JACKSON.
WE'VE RESERVED A PLACE FOR YOU.
WHERE, O-OVER THERE?
WELL, IF YOU LIKE. PLEASE
FEEL FREE TO PICK YOUR SEAT.
OH, THANKS. I
DON'T MIND IF I DO.
THESE DRAWERS BEEN
CRAWLIN' UP MY BEHIND ALL DAY.
OH!
SEE HERE, OLD CHAP.
WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO
FRESHEN UP BEFORE DINNER?
CLEANLINESS IS NEXT
TO GODLINESS, I SAY.
OH, THANKS A LOT. I
WOULDN'T WANT THE LORD...
TO SEE ME GIVING THANKS
WITH THIS UP MY NOSE.
HEY, COULD YOU PUT THAT
IN YOUR NAPKIN FOR ME?
UH, MR. JACKSON, AS OUR GUEST,
WOULD YOU LIKE TO
SAY A FEW WORDS?
OH, CERTAINLY. I'D LOVE
TO IMPOSE A TOAST, IF I MAY.
THERE'S WINE. DRINK UP.
MAY YOUR LIQUOR BE COLD,
YOUR WOMEN BE HOT,
AND ALL YOUR PROBLEMS
SLIDE OFF LIKE SNOT.
DRINK UP, MAN.
EVERYBODY DRINK UP.
MR. JACKSON, I... I WONDER
IF YOU WOULDN'T BE SO KIND...
AS TO DO THE HONORS
WITH THE TURKEY.
HEY, I AIN'T NEVER DONE
NOTHIN' WITH NO TURKEY BEFORE!
WHO TOLD YOU THAT?
CLARENCE? HE'S LYIN'.
OKAY. ONCE, WHEN
I WAS DESPERATE.
AND THE TURKEY KEPT TEASING ME,
GOING, "GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE."
NO, EH, UH... MR. JACKSON, I WAS SIMPLY
ASKING IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CUT THE TURKEY.
OH, I MIGHT AS WELL.
I JUST CUT THE CHEESE.
HOW ABOUT A WING?
HERE'S A WING FOR YOU.
YOU CAN HAVE A WING.
I BET YOU LIKE DARK MEAT.
HOW ABOUT A LEG FOR YOU?
OH, LOOK, THE WISHBONE.
YOU FEEL LUCKY?
UH... GO AHEAD AND TAKE A PULL.
U-UH, MR. JACKSON, IF YOU'LL JUST BE
SEATED, THEN I'LL SERVE THE TURKEY.
OH, YOU'LL SERVE THE
TURKEY. ALL RIGHT, THEN
I'LL JUST SERVE THE
POTATOES, THE SWEET P...
HEY, THIS GRAVY IS COLD.
OH!
WHERE YOU GOIN'?
WHERE YOU GOIN', MAN?
TO THE RESTROOM. I DON'T...
FEEL WELL. WHERE YOU GOING?
NO NEED TO GO. I TRAVEL
WITH MY OWN FACILITIES.
HEY!
JUST PUT THE LID BACK ON.
WHAT'S WRONG?
LOOK, UH, MISS MARY?
HEY, WHAT ABOUT THE HONORS?
WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF...
HEY, I'LL SEE YOU LATER,
BABY. I GOT MY EYE ON YOU.
ALL RIGHT, FELLAS, IT
WORKED. COME ON IN.
BOO BOO! JO JO!
COME ON. GET IN HERE.
COME ON. EVERYBODY,
COME ON. COME ON IN.
PICK A SEAT. PICK YOUR SEAT.
ALL RIGHT. BEFORE WE EAT, LET'S
BOW OUR HEADS AND SAY THANKS.
THANKS. ALL RIGHT. LET'S EAT.
I'D LIKE TO IMPOSE
ANOTHER TOAST.
YEAH, THIS IS B.Y.O.B.B...
BRING YOUR OWN BAG, BABY.
MAY WE ALL BE THANKFUL
FOR WHAT WE GOT.
AND ALL OUR PROBLEMS
SLIDE OFF LIKE SNOT.
DRINK UP. JUST LIKE SNOT.
ALL RIGHT.
THANK YOU.
WE HAD A LOT OF FUN TONIGHT.
TAKIN' US HOME TONIGHT IS A YOUNG MAN
I'VE HAD THE PLEASURE OF WATCHING GROW.
HE USED TO BE A D.J. FOR B.D.P.,
AND NOW HE'S NOW OUT ON HIS OWN.
SHAWN, TELL 'EM WHO HE IS.
SOME OF THEM... SOME PEOPLE
CALL HIM THE TR808. I CALL HIM D NICE.
YO, D, DROP SOME FUNK.
♪♪
ONE, TWO... CHECK IT OUT.
FOR ALL OF YOU WHO DON'T
KNOW WHO I AM, MY NAME IS D NICE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?
AND I'M LIVE ON IN LIVING COLOR.
AND I'M GONNA BREAK
IT DOWN LIKE THIS.
♪ ONE, TWO, THREE ♪
♪ ON THE MIKE I ROCK USED
TO HAVE A CHEEBA SPOT ♪
♪ OUT FRONTIN' COPS
BUT THEN I STOPPED ♪
♪ 'CAUSE NEVER ONE
TIME WAS I SET TO MAIM ♪
♪ BUT A GUNSHOT
WOUND DO BRING PAIN ♪
♪ I KNOW YOU CAN'T RELATE
RIGHT NOW TO WHAT I'M SAYIN' ♪
♪ 'CAUSE IN YOUR ADOLESCENCE
WITH PAIN YOU'RE STILL PLAYIN' ♪
♪ D NICE THE 808 IS AN ADULT ♪
♪ I GOT MY RELIGION
I NEED NO CULT ♪
♪ IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER
WHAT YOU CAN AFFORD ♪
♪ YOU CAN'T GET STRANGLED
BY A MICROPHONE CORD ♪
♪ AND EITHER WAY YOU PUT
IT DOESN'T MATTER TO ME ♪
♪ BECAUSE I STILL
GET OFF SCOT-FREE ♪
- ♪ LET ME HEAR YOU SAY YEAH ♪
- YEAH!
♪ SAY YEAH ♪
YEAH!
♪ SAY YEAH, YEAH ♪
YEAH! YEAH!
♪ SAY YEAH, YEAH ♪
YEAH! YEAH!
♪ CHECK IT OUT MY
NAME IS D NICE, YEAH ♪
♪ I SAID MY NAME IS
D NICE PUMP IT UP ♪
♪ MY NAME IS D NICE AND
I'M TAKIN' OUT YOU SUCKERS ♪
♪ AND YOU DON'T
KNOW HOW I DID IT ♪
♪ CHECK IT OUT
NOW THIS IS D NICE ♪
♪ LIVE ON IN LIVING COLOR
AND I'M ABOUT TO DROP ♪
♪ SOME FUNKY LYRICS
ON THIS TRACK I MADE UP ♪
♪ YEAH, AND YA DON'T STOP ♪
♪ I SAID MY NAME IS D NICE
ALTHOUGH I HATE TO ADMIT IT ♪
♪ TAKIN' OUT YOU SUCKERS AND
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW I DID IT ♪
♪ EVERY EPISODE
REMAINS IN THIS MODE ♪
♪ VERY COOL AND CALM
THERE'S NO SWEAT ON MY PALM ♪
♪ I JUST PICK UP THE
MIC PROCEED... ♪♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN' ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
♪ TAKE IT FROM ME IT'S A'IGHT
TO BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ AND HOW WOULD YOU FEEL
KNOWING PREJUDICE WAS OBSOLETE ♪
♪ AND ALL MANKIND
DANCED TO THE EXACT BEAT ♪
♪ AND AT NIGHT IT WAS SAFE TO WALK
DOWN THE STREET ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ EVERYBODY HERE
IS EQUALLY KIND ♪
♪ EVERYBODY HERE
IS EQUALLY KIND ♪
♪ EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY
EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY ♪
♪ EVERYBODY HERE IS EQUALLY
KIND ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ WHAT'S MINE IS YOURS
AND WHAT'S YOURS IS MINE ♪
♪ IN LIVING C-C-C-OLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN' ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
♪ TAKE IT FROM ME IT'S A'IGHT
TO BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
KEENEN IVORY WAYANS.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
WELL, ONCE AGAIN, ME AND MY
CREW COME HERE TO DO OUR THING.
GLAD YOU COULD JOIN US.
SIT BACK. HAVE SOME FUN.
SHAWN, SET IT OFF.
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
ALL RIGHT, PAL. WOW.
GREAT PLACE. FOOD
LOOKS GREAT TOO.
LOVE THE AMBIENCE.
MAN, THEY ALWAYS GIVE
THIS TABLE TO THE BROTHERS.
GREAT. HOW'D THEY
KNOW WE WERE RELATED?
OH, WELL, YOU KNOW, TOM. EVERYBODY
KNOWS THE BROTHERS BROTHERS.
WE'RE CELEBRITIES, GOSH DARN IT.
I MEAN, WHY DO YOU THINK THEY ALWAYS
PUT US IN THE BACK BY THE KITCHEN?
OH. SO PEOPLE WON'T MOB US.
OH, IS THAT IT? YEAH.
WOW. THOSE MUST BE OUR DATES.
YES. ONE OF 'EM'S
A GREAT LOOKER.
I KNOW, BUT LOOK AT
THE OTHER ONE. EWW.
HI, I'M THERESA. HI, I'M PAM.
HI. HOW ARE YOU? HI, PAM.
YOU MUST BE THE TOMS.
YEAH, THAT WE ARE.
TOMS. HAVE A SEAT. HAVE A SEAT.
OH, THANKS. CAREFUL.
YOU OKAY? WATCH YOUR LEGS.
SO, WHAT DO YOU
GALS DO FOR A LIVING?
WELL, I'M A HAND MODEL. NO!
YEAH! OH, GREAT.
I'M IN MY THIRD YEAR
OF MEDICAL SCHOOL.
WHEN I GRADUATE, I PLAN ON
OPENING A CLINIC IN THE INNER CITY.
WOW. A HAND MODEL.
YEAH. LOOK AT THIS. WOW.
WHOA-HOA! BOY.
HOW DO YOU DO THAT?
WELL, IT'S PRETTY
TRICKY, BUT I STUDIED.
LOOK LIKE AN "A" STUDENT TO
ME, WOULDN'T YOU SAY? THANKS.
♪♪ HEY. WOW!
TOM! "CALIFORNIA GIRLS,"
MAN, OUR FAVORITE SONG!
HEY, IT'S MY FAVORITE SONG TOO!
NO. YES!
LET'S GO OUT THERE AND DANCE
OUR BOOGIE-WOOGIE STUFF...
ON THE DANCE FLOOR
WITH THE GET-DOWN BABY!
WATCH YOURSELF. WATCH YOURSELF.
OH! HOW CAN I WATCH MYSELF?
I'LL WATCH YOU FOR YOU.
HE'S SO MUCH HIPPER THAN I AM.
JUST LOOK AT HIM GO. GO, TOM.
TOM, GO UNDER.
LOOK AT THOSE MOVES. DON'T
YOU JUST LOVE THIS SONG?
HUH, ACTUALLY, I PREFER RAP.
I LIKE THE POLITICAL
STATEMENT IT MAKES.
YEAH. YEAH. UH, YOU KNOW,
THAT, I THINK, IS VERY IMPORTANT.
YEAH. I MEAN, THAT'S WHY I
LIKE "DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY,"
BECAUSE IT HAS A VERY
POWERFUL MESSAGE. YEAH.
WELL, I SUPPOSE.
OH, YOU'RE SO... WHOO!
THAT WAS GREAT. WATCH YOURSELF.
OKAY! THAT WAS GREAT, TOM.
HEY, TOM, YOU'LL NEVER
GUESS, MAN. WHAT?
MARCIA'S HER FAVORITE
BRADY TOO! GET OUTTA HERE!
REMEMBER THIS
ONE? "OH, MY NOSE!"
"MARCIA BUMPS HER NOSE,"
1972! I REMEMBER THAT. YES!
- I GOT ONE! I GOT ONE!
- WHAT?
♪ HERE'S CATHY WHO'S
LIVED MOST EVERYWHERE ♪
♪ FROM ZANZIBAR
TO BARCLAY SQUARE ♪
♪ BUT PATTY'S ONLY SEEN THE SIGHTS A
GIRL CAN SEE FROM BROOKLYN HEIGHTS ♪
♪ WHAT A CRAZY PAIR ♪♪
I LOVE PATTY DUKE!
OKAY. OKAY. OKAY.
HOW ABOUT THIS
ONE? ALL RIGHT. GO.
♪ FISH DON'T FRY IN THE KITCHEN
BEANS DON'T BURN ON THE GRILL ♪
♪ TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF TRYIN'
JUST TO GET UP THAT HILL ♪
♪ WELL, WE'RE MOVIN'
ON UP TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ FINALLY GOT A PIECE ♪♪
DON'T REMEMBER THAT?
WOULD YOU LIKE TO ORDER?
WHAT'S THAT?
OH, IT'S THE THEME FROM THE
JEFFERSONS. YOU DON'T REMEMBER THAT?
THOMAS JEFFERSON
HAD A SERIES? NO.
NO, IT WAS ABOUT A SUCCESSFUL
BLACK BUSINESSMAN...
WHO MOVED TO THE
EAST SIDE OF NEW YORK.
THAT'S NOT GONNA LAST LONG AT
ALL. THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
HEY, I'VE GOT A GREAT IDEA.
WHAT? LET'S ALL DANCE!
WOW! YOU'RE JUST SO SMART!
COME ON. WOW!
RACE YA. I KNOW. LET'S
DO THE BUNNY HOP.
I LOVE THE BUNNY HOP!
HEY, SISTER, CAN I
GET YOU ANYTHING?
YEAH, YOU CAN TELL THOSE
TWO TOMS SOMETHING FROM ME.
♪ BOLLY-LOLLY-LOLLY ♪♪
OH! HOP! HOP! HOP!
BUMP! LET'S DO
THE BUMP! OH, OKAY.
BUMPING. OH, THIS IS
TOO MUCH FOR ME, TOM.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
I FEEL DIZZY. YOU ARE
SUCH A GREAT DANCER.
THANKS.
- HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
- WHAT?
WHERE IS THERESA? OH!
SHE LEFT. AND SHE SAID
TO TELL YOU TWO TOMS...
YOU MAKE BRYANT GUMBEL
LOOK LIKE FLAVOR FLAV.
WOW. WHO'S FLAVOR FLAV?
I KNOW THE GUY, AND BRYANT BETTER GET HIS
TEETH FIXED, 'CAUSE THAT'S NOT ATTRACTIVE.
I GOTTA TELL YA.
I WOULDN'T WANT TO LOOK LIKE
FLAVOR FLAV, OR BE NAMED AFTER HIM.
WHAT'S HE GONNA NAME
HIS KID, TASTE-O TASTE-O?
YOU'RE SO WITTY. YOU
MAKE US FEEL SO GREAT.
OH, GOSH. I DON'T EVEN
KNOW HOW TO SAY IT IN WORDS.
WELL, TOM, I GOT AN
IDEA. WHAT IS IT, TOM?
HOW ABOUT WE SAY IT IN A
SONG? YOU'RE A SMART TOM.
HEY, BUSBOY, BRING US
OUR INSTRUMENTS. BUSBOY.
WOW. JUST LIKE AN
ELVIS MOVIE. THANKS, BOY.
♪♪
♪ YOU DANCE WITH YOUR THUMBS
UP YOU WEAR SADDLE SHOES ♪
♪ YOU DON'T HAVE OPINIONS
THAT CHALLENGE OUR VIEWS ♪
♪ YOUR SKIN IS SO CREAMY
YOUR EYES ARE SO BLUE ♪
♪ WE'RE A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN
'CAUSE WE'RE JUST LIKE YOU ♪
♪ WE'RE A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN ♪
♪ 'CAUSE WE'RE JUST LIKE YOU ♪♪
OVER 5,000 INMATES
ARE PRISONERS...
NOT ONLY OF THEIR
CELLS, BUT OF ILLITERACY.
THAT'S WHY BARBARA BUSH IS
TEARING DOWN THOSE BARS...
WITH HER "READ
IN JAIL" CAMPAIGN.
HERE'S BUDDY. HE JUST,
UH, STARTED YOUR PROGRAM.
THANKS TO YOUR PROGRAM, I
CAN READ MY SENTENCE NOW.
"TRI-PLE LIFE SEN-SENTENCE...
"WITH N-N-NO HOPE...
FOR PAROLE."
CONGRATULATIONS. WELL, NOW,
LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO JOHN HERE.
YOU KNOW, HE'S A
REAL SUCCESS STORY.
THANK YOU, MRS. BUSH.
BEFORE I COULD READ, I WAS FORCED TO
ROB CONVENIENCE STORES FOR A LIVING.
BUT SINCE JOINING
YOUR LITERACY PROGRAM,
A WHOLE NEW WORLD HAS
BEEN OPENED UP TO ME...
EMBEZZLEMENT.
YEAH, WE'RE SO PROUD OF HIM. AND
FINALLY HERE, THERE'S, UH, OSWALD.
HE'S ONE OF OUR, UH, MOST
ENTHUSIASTIC STUDENTS.
OH, YEAH.
THE PANCREATIC PHILOSOPHY
OF YOUR BOOK, YOU UNDERSTAND,
HAS "SYPHILLIZED"
THE SHAFT, YOU DIG?
AND OPENED MY "MUCAL"
MEMBRANES, YOU UNDERSTAND,
TO A WORLD... OH, YES...
A WORLD OF NOCTURNAL
COMMISSIONS.
WARDEN, MAY I? GUARD!
RUN A LOCKUP.
SO, WHAT YOU'RE
SAYING THEN, OSWALD,
IS THAT THE VISCOUS
"MAMMARIAN" GLANDS...
MM-HMM. WHICH
"SCROFULATE" MY WORK...
RIGHT. CLEARLY DISEMBOWEL
THE "PLACENTITUDE"...
OF THE VERY "RECTICITALITY"...
UH-HUH. OF MY VIRTUE.
AH, EXACTLY. "PUBILE."
IT IS THE
QUASI-MENSTRUAL... MM-HMM.
EXCUSE ME,
QUASIMODO... POINT TAKEN.
PHLEBITIS THAT MAKES
YOUR BOOK SO, UH...
CLITORIC.
OH, YES. AND REMINISCENT
OF THE OEDIPUS,
OR THE "PEDIPUS,"
DEPENDING ON WHICH END IS UP.
UH! I THINK I'M BEGINNING
TO SEE THE LIGHT.
THE ENTIRE PREMISE
OF MY BOOK WAS WRONG.
WAY OFF. WELL, I'D BETTER START
ON A NEW VERSION IMMEDIATELY.
BARBARA BUSH. DOING HER PART
IN THE FIGHT AGAINST ILLITERACY.
♪♪
♪ HOLD ON ♪
♪ HOLD ON ♪
♪ HOLD ON ♪
♪ HOLD ON ♪
♪ HOLD ON ♪
♪ HOLD ON ♪♪
HEY, EVELYN WOODS,
PURCHASE THE PRODUCT
OR VACATE THE PREMISES.
WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED
TO BE, A GUARDIAN ANGEL?
NO, I'M NOT, NOR
DO I CARE TO BE,
EVEN IF THEY RECONSIDER
MY APPLICATION.
- SO, UH, WHO ARE YOU?
- MY NAME IS DICKIE PETERSON,
CHERUB OF JUSTICE,
HERE TO PROTECT AND SERVE!
SO WHAT?
SO GET YOURSELF A LIBRARY CARD.
OH, BROTHER.
SITUATION RESOLVED.
HEY, FRANK, HOW'S IT GOIN'
TONIGHT? HEY, DICKIE, HOW YOU DOIN'?
PRETTY GOOD. PRETTY GOOD.
SORRY I'M LATE THOUGH. GOOD.
UH, YOU DON'T REALLY HAVE TO BE ON
TIME, DICKIE. YOU DON'T REALLY WORK HERE.
YEAH, WELL, THAT'S NO EXCUSE.
I BETTER PUT MYSELF ON REPORT.
- EXCUSE ME.
- DICKIE, I GOT
A CUSTOMER HERE, ALL RIGHT?
COME ON. OKAY, FRANK. I
BETTER CHECK INTO HOME BASE.
WOODCHUCK TO GRAY SQUIRREL.
WOODCHUCK TO GRAY SQUIRREL.
COME IN GRAY SQUIRREL.
DICKIE? IS THAT YOU, DICKIE?
MOM, THE CODE NAME IS WOODCHUCK.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO USE THE CODE NAME.
I DON'T CARE WHAT
THE CODE NAME IS.
IT'S 4:00 IN THE MORNING, AND IF YOU
DON'T GET YOUR BUTT HOME RIGHT NOW...
MAINTAIN RADIO SILENCE!
WHAT'S HE, ONE OF THESE
GUARDIAN ANGELS? UH, NO.
NO. NO, I'M NOT,
NOR DO I CARE TO BE,
EVEN IF THEY DECIDE TO
RETURN MY PHONE CALLS.
UH, HOW MUCH DID
YOU SAY THIS WAS?
I THINK IT WAS 79 CENTS.
HMM, I THOUGHT IT WAS 89.
HOLD IT. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
DICKIE, MAN, YOU
DON'T HAVE TO...
EIGHTY-NINE CENTS!
HOLD THAT GUY!
THANKS, DICKIE.
THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR, FRANK.
YOU GOT AWAY WITH
YOUR LITTLE SCAM THIS TIME.
NEXT TIME YOU'RE GOIN' DOWN.
GET LOST.
YO, MAN! WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?
IT'S OKAY, FRANK.
IT'S OKAY. YO, MAN.
HE CAN RUN, BUT HE CAN'T HIDE.
SOMEDAY I'LL SEE HIM IN
THE STREET, AND THEN BOOM!
DEATH TOUCH.
HEY, WAS IT WORTH IT,
MR. 10-CENT DISCREPANCY?
DICKIE, CALM DOWN. YOU'RE
GONNA GET IN TROUBLE, MAN.
- YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND, FRANK.
- I AM?
POSSIBLY THE CLOSEST
FRIEND I'VE EVER HAD.
REALLY?
YOU WANT TO TERMINATE
THAT FRIENDSHIP, FRANK?
THEN DON'T TELL ME
HOW TO DO MY JOB!
THE DUTIES OF THIS TRADEMARK
YELLOW BERET MUST ALWAYS COME FIRST.
NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I'D BETTER GIVE THAT
PARKING LOT A ONCE-OVER.
FRANK, YOU'RE NOT
GONNA BELIEVE...
WHAT'S GOIN' ON ON THAT
BENCH OUTSIDE! WHAT? WHAT?
WHAT? WHAT? WOODCHUCK TO GRAY
SQUIRREL. WOODCHUCK TO GRAY SQUIRREL.
WE HAVE A SITUATION HERE. A
GUY AND A GIRL MAKIN' OUT, DICKIE.
WHAT? IT'S JUST A GUY
AND A GIRL MAKIN' OUT.
HEY, GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER!
AND YOUR TONGUE TOO! DI-DICKIE!
MAN, DICKIE.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST MIND YOUR...
DICKIE, WHAT IS
WRONG WITH YOU, MAN?
HEY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, MAN?
CRAZY CHICK.
I HAD HIM DOWN ON THE GROUND,
AND SHE JUST STARTED KICKING ME.
THAT'S APPRECIATION FOR YA.
MAN.
LET ME SEE. IT'S PRETTY BAD. WHY
DON'T YOU JUST GO AHEAD ON HOME, OKAY?
YOU MEAN BACK TO THE BASE?
YEAH, BACK TO HOME BASE.
W-WHY DON'T YOU GET GRAY
SQUIRREL TO PUT SOMETHING ON THAT.
ALL RIGHT?
OKAY, FRANK. IF THAT'S
YOUR PREFERENCE.
LOOKS LIKE EVERYTHING HERE IS PRETTY
MUCH UNDER CONTROL NOW ANYWAY.
THANKS TO THE
CHERUBS OF JUSTICE.
WOODCHUCK TO GRAY SQUIRREL.
WOODCHUCK TO GRAY SQUIRREL.
- SITUATION RESOLVED.
- I'M COMIN' HOME.
SEE YOU TOMORROW NIGHT, FRANK.
ALL RIGHT, DICKIE. TAKE IT EASY, MAN.
UH-OH. SPOKE TOO SOON.
HEY, WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE
GOING WITH THAT SHOPPING CART?
DICKIE, MAN! DICKIE!
DAMN!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
AS YOU KNOW, WE VOTED
AT OUR SEPTEMBER MEETING...
TO INVITE ONE OF THE POOR
UNFORTUNATES FROM OUR CITY STREETS...
TO JOIN US AT OUR
THANKSGIVING LUNCHEON.
THANK YOU. IT WAS FELT
THAT HIS PRESENCE HERE...
WOULD MAKE US APPRECIATE
THE THINGS WE HAVE...
AS WELL AS GENERALLY MAKE US FEEL
GOOD FOR FEEDING A POOR PERSON.
SO, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO,
HERE NOW IS ANTON JACKSON.
ANTON?
I HOPE I'M NOT TOO LATE.
THE LIMO DROPPED
ME OFF TOO SOON.
IT HAD ONE OF THEM BUMPERS
YOU COULDN'T HANG ON TO.
THAT'S QUITE ALL
RIGHT, MR. JACKSON.
WE'VE RESERVED A PLACE FOR YOU.
WHERE, O-OVER THERE?
WELL, IF YOU LIKE. PLEASE
FEEL FREE TO PICK YOUR SEAT.
OH, THANKS. I
DON'T MIND IF I DO.
THESE DRAWERS BEEN
CRAWLIN' UP MY BEHIND ALL DAY.
OH!
SEE HERE, OLD CHAP.
WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO
FRESHEN UP BEFORE DINNER?
CLEANLINESS IS NEXT
TO GODLINESS, I SAY.
OH, THANKS A LOT. I
WOULDN'T WANT THE LORD...
TO SEE ME GIVING THANKS
WITH THIS UP MY NOSE.
HEY, COULD YOU PUT THAT
IN YOUR NAPKIN FOR ME?
UH, MR. JACKSON, AS OUR GUEST,
WOULD YOU LIKE TO
SAY A FEW WORDS?
OH, CERTAINLY. I'D LOVE
TO IMPOSE A TOAST, IF I MAY.
THERE'S WINE. DRINK UP.
MAY YOUR LIQUOR BE COLD,
YOUR WOMEN BE HOT,
AND ALL YOUR PROBLEMS
SLIDE OFF LIKE SNOT.
DRINK UP, MAN.
EVERYBODY DRINK UP.
MR. JACKSON, I... I WONDER
IF YOU WOULDN'T BE SO KIND...
AS TO DO THE HONORS
WITH THE TURKEY.
HEY, I AIN'T NEVER DONE
NOTHIN' WITH NO TURKEY BEFORE!
WHO TOLD YOU THAT?
CLARENCE? HE'S LYIN'.
OKAY. ONCE, WHEN
I WAS DESPERATE.
AND THE TURKEY KEPT TEASING ME,
GOING, "GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE."
NO, EH, UH... MR. JACKSON, I WAS SIMPLY
ASKING IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CUT THE TURKEY.
OH, I MIGHT AS WELL.
I JUST CUT THE CHEESE.
HOW ABOUT A WING?
HERE'S A WING FOR YOU.
YOU CAN HAVE A WING.
I BET YOU LIKE DARK MEAT.
HOW ABOUT A LEG FOR YOU?
OH, LOOK, THE WISHBONE.
YOU FEEL LUCKY?
UH... GO AHEAD AND TAKE A PULL.
U-UH, MR. JACKSON, IF YOU'LL JUST BE
SEATED, THEN I'LL SERVE THE TURKEY.
OH, YOU'LL SERVE THE
TURKEY. ALL RIGHT, THEN
I'LL JUST SERVE THE
POTATOES, THE SWEET P...
HEY, THIS GRAVY IS COLD.
OH!
WHERE YOU GOIN'?
WHERE YOU GOIN', MAN?
TO THE RESTROOM. I DON'T...
FEEL WELL. WHERE YOU GOING?
NO NEED TO GO. I TRAVEL
WITH MY OWN FACILITIES.
HEY!
JUST PUT THE LID BACK ON.
WHAT'S WRONG?
LOOK, UH, MISS MARY?
HEY, WHAT ABOUT THE HONORS?
WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF...
HEY, I'LL SEE YOU LATER,
BABY. I GOT MY EYE ON YOU.
ALL RIGHT, FELLAS, IT
WORKED. COME ON IN.
BOO BOO! JO JO!
COME ON. GET IN HERE.
COME ON. EVERYBODY,
COME ON. COME ON IN.
PICK A SEAT. PICK YOUR SEAT.
ALL RIGHT. BEFORE WE EAT, LET'S
BOW OUR HEADS AND SAY THANKS.
THANKS. ALL RIGHT. LET'S EAT.
I'D LIKE TO IMPOSE
ANOTHER TOAST.
YEAH, THIS IS B.Y.O.B.B...
BRING YOUR OWN BAG, BABY.
MAY WE ALL BE THANKFUL
FOR WHAT WE GOT.
AND ALL OUR PROBLEMS
SLIDE OFF LIKE SNOT.
DRINK UP. JUST LIKE SNOT.
ALL RIGHT.
THANK YOU.
WE HAD A LOT OF FUN TONIGHT.
TAKIN' US HOME TONIGHT IS A YOUNG MAN
I'VE HAD THE PLEASURE OF WATCHING GROW.
HE USED TO BE A D.J. FOR B.D.P.,
AND NOW HE'S NOW OUT ON HIS OWN.
SHAWN, TELL 'EM WHO HE IS.
SOME OF THEM... SOME PEOPLE
CALL HIM THE TR808. I CALL HIM D NICE.
YO, D, DROP SOME FUNK.
♪♪
ONE, TWO... CHECK IT OUT.
FOR ALL OF YOU WHO DON'T
KNOW WHO I AM, MY NAME IS D NICE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?
AND I'M LIVE ON IN LIVING COLOR.
AND I'M GONNA BREAK
IT DOWN LIKE THIS.
♪ ONE, TWO, THREE ♪
♪ ON THE MIKE I ROCK USED
TO HAVE A CHEEBA SPOT ♪
♪ OUT FRONTIN' COPS
BUT THEN I STOPPED ♪
♪ 'CAUSE NEVER ONE
TIME WAS I SET TO MAIM ♪
♪ BUT A GUNSHOT
WOUND DO BRING PAIN ♪
♪ I KNOW YOU CAN'T RELATE
RIGHT NOW TO WHAT I'M SAYIN' ♪
♪ 'CAUSE IN YOUR ADOLESCENCE
WITH PAIN YOU'RE STILL PLAYIN' ♪
♪ D NICE THE 808 IS AN ADULT ♪
♪ I GOT MY RELIGION
I NEED NO CULT ♪
♪ IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER
WHAT YOU CAN AFFORD ♪
♪ YOU CAN'T GET STRANGLED
BY A MICROPHONE CORD ♪
♪ AND EITHER WAY YOU PUT
IT DOESN'T MATTER TO ME ♪
♪ BECAUSE I STILL
GET OFF SCOT-FREE ♪
- ♪ LET ME HEAR YOU SAY YEAH ♪
- YEAH!
♪ SAY YEAH ♪
YEAH!
♪ SAY YEAH, YEAH ♪
YEAH! YEAH!
♪ SAY YEAH, YEAH ♪
YEAH! YEAH!
♪ CHECK IT OUT MY
NAME IS D NICE, YEAH ♪
♪ I SAID MY NAME IS
D NICE PUMP IT UP ♪
♪ MY NAME IS D NICE AND
I'M TAKIN' OUT YOU SUCKERS ♪
♪ AND YOU DON'T
KNOW HOW I DID IT ♪
♪ CHECK IT OUT
NOW THIS IS D NICE ♪
♪ LIVE ON IN LIVING COLOR
AND I'M ABOUT TO DROP ♪
♪ SOME FUNKY LYRICS
ON THIS TRACK I MADE UP ♪
♪ YEAH, AND YA DON'T STOP ♪
♪ I SAID MY NAME IS D NICE
ALTHOUGH I HATE TO ADMIT IT ♪
♪ TAKIN' OUT YOU SUCKERS AND
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW I DID IT ♪
♪ EVERY EPISODE
REMAINS IN THIS MODE ♪
♪ VERY COOL AND CALM
THERE'S NO SWEAT ON MY PALM ♪
♪ I JUST PICK UP THE
MIC PROCEED... ♪♪