In Living Color (1990–1994): Season 2, Episode 19 - Hour of Power: Tag Team Evangelists - full transcript
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN' ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
♪ TAKE IT FROM ME IT'S A'IGHT
TO BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ AND HOW WOULD YOU FEEL
KNOWING PREJUDICE WAS OBSOLETE ♪
♪ AND ALL MANKIND
DANCED TO THE EXACT BEAT ♪
♪ AND AT NIGHT IT WAS SAFE TO WALK
DOWN THE STREET ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ EVERYBODY HERE
IS EQUALLY KIND ♪
♪ EVERYBODY HERE
IS EQUALLY KIND ♪
♪ EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY
EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY ♪
♪ EVERYBODY HERE IS EQUALLY
KIND ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ WHAT'S MINE IS YOURS
AND WHAT'S YOURS IS MINE ♪
♪ IN LIVING C-C-C-OLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN' ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
♪ TAKE IT FROM ME IT'S A'IGHT
TO BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
[Audience Applauding, Cheering]
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
MR. DAVID ALAN GRIER.
GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN. MY NAME IS DAVID ALAN GRIER,
AND WELCOME TO IN LIVING
COLOR'S TRIBUTE... TO BROADWAY.
PAUL, IF YOU WILL, A
SPOTLIGHT, PLEASE.
[A Cappella] ♪ BROADWAY ♪
♪ BROADWAY ♪
♪ BROADWAY-AY-AY-AY-AY-AY ♪
[Faster] ♪ OOPS, LOOK
OUT FOR THAT TAXICAB ♪
OW! ♪ I JUST GOT STABBED ♪
♪ ON BROAD ♪ [Grunts] ♪ WAY ♪
[Grunts] ♪ ON BROADWAY ♪
♪ ON ♪♪ [Laughing] OH, MY...
[SW1] [In High
Voice] IT'S A CHICKIE!
IT'S A CHICKIE! IT'S A CHICKIE!
♪ ON BROADWAY ♪
[Keenen Laughing]
♪♪ [Hip-Hop] ♪ ON BROADWAY ♪♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪ ♪ YOU CAN WALK
ON THE MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
♪ TAKE IT FROM ME IT'S A'IGHT
TO BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
♪♪ [Jazzy Saxophone,
Slow] [Siren Blast]
♪♪ [Continues]
[Chatter On Police Radio]
GOOD EVENING, MA'AM. [Sighs]
DO YOU KNOW WHY I STOPPED YOU?
SAY, WHAT IS THIS...
20 QUESTIONS?
UH, DO YOU MIND
STEPPIN' OUT OF THE CAR?
NOT IF YOU DON'T MIND GETTING
A LOOK AT GREAT SET OF GAMS.
CARE FOR A SMOKE? OR IS THAT
AGAINST THE BOY SCOUT OATH?
UH, MAY I SEE YOUR
LICENSE, PLEASE?
SO, YOU WANT TO
PLAY ROUGH, DO YOU?
[Lighter Hits Ground] SURE,
COPPER. I'VE GOT NOTHING TO HIDE.
READ IT AND WEEP.
UH, YOU'RE VELMA MULHOLLAND?
SURE I'M VELMA... SURE AS 10
DIMES WILL GET YOU A DOLLAR.
ANY MORE QUESTIONS,
INSPECTOR, OR MAY I BE ON MY WAY?
IS THIS YOUR CAR? SURE, IT'S MY
CAR. YOU SEEN ME DRIVIN' IT, AIN'T YA?
CAN'T A GAL GO OUT FOR A COUPLE OF
YOO-HOOS AND A CARTON OF LUCKYS...
WITHOUT BRINGING IN THE FEDS?
LOOK, LADY, THIS IS
MERELY A TECHNICALITY.
I WASN'T SUGGESTING
THAT YOU'D DONE ANYTHING.
I JUST WANTED TO ASK YOU
A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS.
ALL RIGHT, YOU DIRTY SCREW,
I'LL SING. I'LL SING LIKE A CANARY.
I WAS BORN IN FLATBUSH, BROOKLYN,
TO A COUPLE OF SWEET FOLKS...
WHOSE ONLY FAULT WAS THEY
WERE POOR AS CHURCH MICE.
I LEFT HOME WHEN I WAS FIVE, AND
I'VE WORKED MY FINGERS TO THE BONE...
TO TRY TO MAKE
SOMETHING OF MYSELF.
I'VE SLUNG HASH IN EVERY GREASY
SPOON FROM HERE TO KALAMAZOO.
I MAY NOT BE THE BRIGHTEST DAME IN
TOWN, BUT I'VE GOT A HEART OF GOLD.
AND IF THAT'S A CRIME,
WELL, SLAP THOSE STEEL
BRACELETS ON ME AND
THROW ME IN THE SLAMMER.
THROW ME IN THE SLAMMER, COPPER.
THAT'S WHAT YOU'VE GOT TO DO.
THAT'S THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT.
IT'S ALL THERE IN BLACK AND WHITE.
SAY, SAY, SAY. WATCH IT
WITH THE FISTS, ZSA ZSA.
[Sobs] I'LL PUT YOU
IN A CHOKE HOLD.
LOOK, I ONLY STOPPED YOU
'CAUSE YOUR LEFT TAILLIGHT IS OUT.
OH, SURE, FLATFOOT.
LIGHTS OUT. JIG'S UP. BASES
LOADED. GOOSE IS COOKED.
I'VE HEARD IT ALL,
COPPER. YOU HEAR ME? I'VE
HEARD IT ALL. JUST
TAKE ME AWAY, WILL YOU?
TAKE ME AWAY. YOU'LL GET
YOUR LOUSY PROMOTION.
I ONLY HOPE YOU CAN
LIVE WITH YOURSELF.
LADY, THIS IS JUST A
SUMMONS. IT'S NOT A SUBPOENA.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE
HELL YOU'RE TALKIN' ABOUT,
AND FRANKLY, I DON'T
THINK YOU DO EITHER.
BUT THERE'S A DINER UP THE ROAD,
AND I THINK YOU SHOULD GO UP THERE
AND HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE AND COOL OUT.
AND FIX THAT DAMN TAILLIGHT.
WHAT'S THE MATTER, COPPER...
TOO MUCH WOMAN FOR YOU?
TOO CLOSE TO THE FLAME? TOO HOT TO
HANDLE? WELL, I'VE HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE.
YOU'RE NOT THE FIRST, AND WITH
ANY LUCK, YOU WON'T BE THE LAST.
SO LONG, SUCKER.
IT'S TIME. WHAT IS
YOUR FINAL REQUEST?
[Breathing Heavily] MUSIC.
I WANNA HEAR SOME MUSIC.
WHAT KIND OF MUSIC...
COUNTRY, SOUL? WHAT DO
YOU WANT... STEELY
DAN, THE EAGLES... WHAT?
SOUL MUSIC.
THE BEST DAMN SOUL
MUSIC YOU CAN FIND.
PRISONER 43628, RUDY FRANCIS
BURKE, THIS IS YOUR LAST REQUEST.
PLEASE PUT YOUR HANDS
TOGETHER FOR THE SOULFUL
STYLINGS OF CEPHUS AND
REESIE MERRIWEATHER.
♪♪ [Piano, Up-tempo] HEY!
HOW'S EVERYBODY DOIN'?
YOU KNOW, WE SO GLAD TO BE
HERE TONIGHT. ♪♪ [Continues]
IS EVERYBODY HAVIN'
A GOOD TIME? I AM!
YOU KNOW, REESIE?
SOMEBODY'S NOT SMILIN'! I AM!
I SAID, SOMEBODY'S
NOT SMILIN'! [Yelping]
I AM! PRISONER
43628, THIS IS FOR YOU.
[Reesie Squeals] [Laughing]
COME ON, BABY. HERE WE GO.
[Both] ♪ AIN'T NO
MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH ♪
♪ AIN'T NO ♪ WAIT A
MINUTE, NOW, REESIE.
YOU MEAN, IF I WAS ON ONE SIDE OF
MOUNT EVEREST AND YOU WAS ON THE OTHER,
YOU'D STILL COME AND GET ME?
YEAH, CEPHIE. THAT'S
A VERY HIGH MOUNTAIN.
[Squeals] [Laughs]
[Both] ♪ AIN'T NO
RIVER WIDE ENOUGH ♪
♪ AIN'T NO ♪
WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT A MINUTE, CEPHUS. YOU
MEAN TO TELL ME... UH-HUH.
IF WE WERE ON OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE
AMAZON RIVER, YOU'D STILL COME GET ME?
YES, REESIE. [Squeals] YOU KNOW
YOU AIN'T GOT NO BOAT, CEPHUS.
[Both Laugh] ♪ AIN'T NO
VALLEY LOW ENOUGH ♪
♪ AIN'T NO VALLEY ♪
WA-A-A-AIT A MINUTE NOW, REESIE.
YOU MEAN TO TELL ME, IF I WAS STUCK IN
THE MIDDLE OF THE SAN FERNANDO VALLEY...
AT THE SIDE OF THE ROAD WITH A FLAT
TIRE, YOU WOULD STILL COME TO GET ME?
YES, CEPHUS. I WOULD.
YOU KNOW YOU AIN'T
GOT NO SPARE. [Laughs]
- ♪♪ [Vocalizing Scream]
- OKAY. I THINK
I'VE HEARD ENOUGH.
OKAY. CEPHUS? SEE, WE GONNA BRING IT DOWN
NOW. WE GONNA BRING IT DOWN. ALL RIGHT.
NOW, THERE'S SOMEBODY VERY
SPECIAL IN THE AUDIENCE TONIGHT.
NOW, SOME OF YOU MAY CALL
HIM A CONVICTED MURDERER,
BUT WE LIKE TO CALL
HIM "RU-U-UDY-Y-Y."
RUDY, IS THAT A
GUN IN YOUR POCKET?
RUDY, YOU TRYIN' TO STEAL
MY WOMAN? JUST KIDDIN', MAN.
STAND UP, RUDY. STAND UP.
COME ON, RUDY. STAND UP, MAN.
COME ON. IS THIS
SOME KIND OF A JOKE?
RUDY, THIS IS FOR YOU. YO-O-OU.
[Both] ♪ AIN'T NO
MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH ♪
♪ AIN'T NO JELLY SWEET ENOUGH ♪
♪ AIN'T NO JHERI CURL ENOUGH ♪
♪ AIN'T NO VITA-MIN ENOUGH ♪
♪ AIN'T NO VIDA BLUE
ENOUGH ♪ [Yelling]
♪ AIN'T NO BARRY WHITE
ENOUGH ♪ COME ON, BABY!
♪ AIN'T NO JAMES ♪ COME ON.
SING THAT. ♪ BROWN ENOUGH ♪
KILL ME! ♪ AIN'T NO AL ♪
[With Cephus] ♪ GREEN
ENOUGH TO KEEP ME ♪
♪ FROM GETTIN' TO-O-O ♪
♪♪ [Piano Tremolo]
♪ AIN'T NO BORIS BADENOV AIN'T NO
BEEF STROGANOFF ♪ ♪♪ [Piano Resumes]
SOMEBODY THROW THAT SWITCH! ♪
AIN'T NO BLACK-EYED PEA ENOUGH ♪
♪ AIN'T NO AFRO SHEEN ENOUGH ♪
PLEASE! ♪ AIN'T NO PIT
BULL MEAN ENOUGH ♪
♪ TO KEEP ME FROM GETTIN' TO ♪
[Whimpering]
♪ AIN'T NO JELLY SWEET ENOUGH
AIN'T NO JHERI CURL ENOUGH ♪ OH, GOD!
SEND ME TO HELL! ♪ AIN'T
NO VITA-MIN ENOUGH ♪
♪ AIN'T NO VIDA BLUE ENOUGH AIN'T NO
BORIS BADENOV ♪ WHY? WARDEN, PLEASE!
♪ AIN'T NO BEEF STROGANOFF ♪
[Faster, Indistinct]
♪♪ [Both Vocalizing]
RUDY! OH, RUDY! COME
ON. GET UP, NOW, MAN.
COME ON! ALMOST UP THERE, RUDY!
THAT'S RIGHT. TAKE MY
HAND. COME ON. COME ON.
[Man] HE'S EXCITED.
SHE'S EXCITED.
EVERYBODY'S EXCITED FOR...
[Together] DO YOU FEEL LUCKY?
JOIN HOST DIRTY HARRY
FOR FOX'S NEW GAME SHOW...
WHERE CONTESTANTS
SPIN... AND WIN!
COME ON, BULLET!
[Yelps] [Gunshot]
- WIN BIG CASH.
- ONE...
[Audience] TWO, THREE...
- [Man] WIN BIG PRIZES.
- COME ON, BULLET!
[Gunshot] WIN BIG FUN!
[Groans] OH, YEAH.
SO, FOR A SHOOT-'EM-UP
GOOD TIME...
I WON. [Groans]
YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS
FOX'S ALL-NEW GAME SHOW...
[Audience, Together] DO
YOU FEEL LUCKY? [Gunfire]
♪ THE FLY GIRLS ♪
♪♪ [Indistinct]
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
[Applauding]
PRAISE THE LORD.
YES, INDEED. WELCOME BACK TO
THE FIRST CHURCH OF DISCOUNT SIN.
I AM THE REVEREND ED CASH. AND I AM
THE DOCTOR REVEREND CARL PATHOS.
AND TONIGHT WE'RE
GONNA SET YOU FREE. AMEN.
WE'RE GONNA LOOSEN
YOU UP. PRAISE THE LORD.
WE'RE GONNA LET IT ALL HANG OUT. I LEFT
MY UNDERWEAR AT HOME TONIGHT, BROTHER.
WELL, MAYBE NOT "HANG OUT"
LIKE THAT. PARDON ME, BROTHER.
WE LIKE TO CALL OURSELVES THE 595
CLUB... THAT'S RIGHT, MARKED DOWN FROM 700.
SEE, TONIGHT OUR FIRST SPECIAL IS
A TWO-FOR-ONE SALE ON ADULTERY.
ALLELUIA!
YES, INDEED. SO, IF YOU ARE
ALREADY IN A SINFUL RELATIONSHIP,
BUT YOU GOT YOUR
EYE ON SOMEBODY ELSE,
YOU CAN BE FORGIVEN FOR
BOTH OF THEM FOR JUST 99.95...
EVEN LESS ON OUR
FREQUENT SINNER PLAN.
OH, YES. YOU'LL SAVE ALMOST FIVE DOLLARS
PER SIN, AND THE 10th SIN IS... WHAT?
[Woman] FREE.
FREE. THAT'S RIGHT.
AND HOW WONDERFUL IT IS TO BE FREE
OF SIN, BROTHER. OH, PRAISE THE LORD.
FREE FROM THE HAUNTING FEELING THAT YOU'VE
STOOPED TO THE WEAKNESS OF THE FLESH.
PREACH, BROTHER. PREACH
ON. YOU'VE DRIVEN TO
THAT REMOTE MOTEL AND
WATCHED THAT WOMAN...
DO VILE THINGS WITH ITEMS FROM ALL
FOUR OF THE BASIC FOOD GROUPS. [Sobs]
YOU LOST ME THERE, BROTHER.
[Continues Sobbing]
I AM SPIRITUAL SCUM! YES,
YOU ARE, BUT LOOK AT THERE.
♪♪ [Church Organ, Fanfare] IT'S
TIME FOR OUR BLUELIGHT SPECIAL.
- YES, INDEED. OUR FEATURED SIN
FOR TONIGHT IS BIGAMY.
- [Breathing Heavily]
OH, YEAH. I'M GONNA
GO EVEN FURTHER.
I'M GONNA MAKE IT ANY SIN
BEGINNING WITH THE LETTER "B."
YOU CAN GET DISCOUNT RATES
RIGHT NOW ON BLASPHEMY,
BURGLARY, BRIBERY... REVEREND,
WHAT ABOUT THE BIG "B"?
SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE'S BEEN...
[Imitating Sheep] A BA-A-AD BOY.
YOU'RE SHEDDIN'
ON MY COAT, PLEASE.
SO LET'S GO TO THE
PHONES RIGHT NOW. LINE
TWO, DOES YOUR SIN
BEGIN WITH THE LETTER "B"?
[Boy On Speaker] NO. I WAS WONDERING
WHEN YOU WERE GETTING TO THE "M's."
OOH!
REMEMBER, IT IS WRITTEN,
"IF THE RIGHT HAND OFFENDETH THEE,
THEN CUT IT OFF AND CAST IT AWAY."
BUT OF COURSE, HERE, FOR A MERE DONATION
OF 29.95, YOU CAN JUST WASH THAT AWAY.
I CAN SMELL THE BARGAIN.
LINE THREE, WHAT IS YOUR
SIN? [Man On Speaker] IT'S MY WIFE.
SHE'S HAD AFFAIRS WITH THE
MAILMAN, THE BOTTLED-WATER MAN...
THE TV CABLE MAN
AND THE GAS MAN.
WELL, IT SOUNDS LIKE SHE NEEDS
A LITTLE PERSONAL COUNSELING.
WHY DON'T YOU HAVE HER COME BY THE STUDIO,
AND I CAN LAY MY HEALIN' HANDS ON HER?
IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT. I'M CALLIN'
FROM DEATH ROW. [Rev. Cash] UH-OH.
SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED
SOME FORGIVENESS IN A HURRY.
AND LUCKY FOR YOU, I CAN SPEAK TO
THE LORD RIGHT AWAY ON YOUR BEHALF.
AND I WILL SPEAK TO HIM
THROUGH TONGUES. YOU
JUST HOLD ON A MINUTE.
I GOT HIS 800 NUMBER.
PETER PIPER PICKED A PEPPER,
PICKLED PEPPER, PICK A PEPPER...
PETER PIPER PICK... PICK... SOUNDS
LIKE WE GOT A BAD CONNECTION, BROTHER.
I THINK SO. I SHOULD TRY AGAIN.
SEASHELL, SHE SELLS BY THE SEASHORE
WITH THE SEASHELLS, SHE SHELL...
ANOTHER BAD CONNECTION.
LET ME TRY THIS ONE.
TRY THE BEEPER NUMBER.
DO, RE, MI, FA, SO, LA, TI,
DO. DO, MY, MI, FA, SO, LA, TI...
AND THAT BRING
US BACK TO... WHAT?
"DOUGH." THAT'S RIGHT.
AS IN "DONATION." LET'S SEE
THE TOTE BOARD. BRING IT DOWN.
♪♪ [Church Organ, Fanfare]
ELEVEN DOLLARS?
ELEVEN DOLLARS? NOW, THAT'S PITIFUL. I
KNOW Y'ALL DONE SINNED MORE THAN THAT.
I DONE SINNED WITH HALF OF YOU
MORE THAN THAT IN THIS ROOM NOW.
YOU KNOW, MY COLLEAGUE, ORAL
ROBERTS, WAS TOLD BY THE LORD...
TO RAISE EIGHT MILLION DOLLARS OR THE
LORD WOULD TAKE HIS LIFE. YES, HE WAS.
NOW, REVEREND CASH AND MYSELF FIND
OURSELVES IN A SIMILAR SITUATION. AMEN.
SEE, NOW, YOU ALL... THE PEOPLE THAT
CALLED IN FOR THE ADULTERY SPECIAL...
YOU GOTTA KEEP IN MIND, WE STILL
HAVE THE NUMBERS TO YOUR SPOUSES, SEE.
SO IF Y'ALL DON'T START CALLIN', WE
GONNA DO SOME CALLIN' OF OUR OWN.
WE'RE GONNA REACH OUT
AND TELL ON SOMEBODY.
YES, INDEED.
UH-OH, I CAN FEEL THE
LORD WORKIN'. LOOK AT HERE.
IT'S A MIRACLE,
BROTHER! YES, INDEED.
BROTHER CARL, TAKE US
OUT WITH A SONG. GLADLY.
♪ HE'LL RIP MY LIPS OFF
AND POKE MY EYES OUT ♪
♪ AND USE MY COLON
FOR DOUBLE DUTCH ♪
♪ AND THEN HE'LL TAKE MY HEAD AND STUFF
IT IN THE TOILET ♪♪ COME ON, EVERYONE.
[No Singing]
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
♪ ALL THE GIRLS GO ♪
♪ ALL THE GIRLS GO ♪
[Echoing] ♪ ALL ♪
[Echoing] ♪ ALL ♪
♪ ALL THE GIRLS GO ♪
♪ ALL THE GIRLS GO ♪
[Echoing] ♪ ALL ♪
[Man] IF YOU WERE CHARMED BY PRETTY
WOMAN... HEY, YOU WANNA GO OUT?
ANYBODY GOIN' OUT, ALREADY? IS
ANYBODY... YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THE SEQUEL:
PRETTY BUFFED WOMAN, STARRING
CHAMPION FEMALE BODYBUILDER VERA DE MILO.
HOW 'BOUT A LITTLE BOOTY, CUTIE?
♪ PRETTY WOMAN ♪
♪ I DON'T BELIEVE YOU
YOU'RE NOT THE TRUTH ♪
- ♪ NO ONE COULD LOOK
AS GOOD AS YOU ♪
- COME ON, HONEY. LOSER!
♪ PRETTY WOMAN
WON'T YOU PARDON ME ♪
♪♪ [Continues] [In Deep
Voice] HI, THERE, HANDSOME.
HOW ABOUT A DATE?
UH, NO THANKS. MAYBE
SOME OTHER TIME.
[Retches]
HEY! WHAT THE...
GUESS WHAT? IT'S SADIE
HAWKINS DAY. [Tires Squealing]
HOW ABOUT A LIFT TO
YOUR HOTEL, MONEYBAGS?
[Coughing]
I THINK I'M GONNA STICK AROUND FOR
ANOTHER WEEK OR SO. UH, ACTUALLY,
MY PLANE LEAVES
TOMORROW MORNING.
I DON'T THINK SO.
[Spits, Coughs] BUT I THINK
I COULD RESCHEDULE.
REALLY? I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS. IT'S A DREAM COME TRUE.
TAKE ME SHOPPING, BUBBLEHEAD.
♪ PRETTY WOMAN ♪
[Fabric Tears]
♪ WALKIN' DOWN THE
STREET PRETTY WOMAN ♪
♪ THE KIND I'D LIKE TO MEET ♪
♪ PRETTY WOMAN ♪
[Tears]
♪ I DON'T BELIEVE YOU
YOU'RE NOT THE TRUTH ♪
♪ NO ONE COULD LOOK
AS GOOD AS YOU ♪ [Growling]
♪ PRETTY WOMAN ♪
♪ WON'T YOU PARDON
ME PRETTY WOMAN ♪ NEXT!
♪ I COULDN'T HELP BUT
SEE PRETTY WOMAN ♪
THIS'LL DO. CHARGE IT. ♪ THAT
YOU LOOK LOVELY AS CAN BE ♪
♪ ARE YOU LONELY JUST LIKE ME ♪
[Whinnying]
[Groaning]
[Man] VERA DE MILO IS A
PRETTY BUFFED WOMAN.
[Strained] WHAT DO
YOU WANT FROM ME?
I WANT THE FAIRY TALE.
[Whinnies, Blows]
COMING SOON TO A THEATER
NEAR YOU. ♪ PRETTY WOMAN ♪♪
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANKS FOR COMING TO THE SHOW.
LISTEN HERE. UH, THE
GENTLEMAN I'M GONNA BRING ON...
TO TAKE US HOME TONIGHT, UM...
IT'S VERY... IT'S A VERY
SPECIAL MOMENT FOR ME.
THIS GUY, UM, WAS THERE WHEN I DID MY
VERY FIRST FILM, I'M GONNA GIT YOU SUCKA.
HE DID THE THEME
SONG, "JACK OF SPADES,"
AND, UM, REALLY ADDED SOMETHING SPECIAL TO
THE FILM, AND I'M GLAD HE'S HERE TONIGHT.
PERFORMING FROM THE
CLASSIC ALBUM CRIMINAL MINDED...
A MAN WHO'S IN A
CLASS BY HIMSELF,
THE PREACHER, THE
PROPHET, THE POET...
KRS-ONE.
ONE, TWO. ONE, TWO.
YES. ♪♪ [Drumbeat Starts]
AND AS YOU OPEN UP
YOUR CHRISTMAS GIFTS,
WE'RE GONNA GIVE YOU A
LITTLE CHRISTMAS CLASSIC,
AND IT GOES A LITTLE
SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
THIS GOES OUT TO THE NEW YORK CREW IN THE
HOUSE. NEW YORK, MAKE SOME NOISE. [Cheers]
YES, YES, YES, YES. AS YOU KNOW, THIS IS
THE MIGHTY BOOGIE DOWN PRODUCTIONS.
AND THIS IS NOT MILLI
VANILLI. WE ARE LIVE! [Laughs]
SO CHECK IT OUT.
SO CHECK IT OUT.
♪ THE BRIDGE IS OVER THE
BRIDGE IS OVER BIDDY, BYE-BYE ♪
♪ THE BRIDGE IS OVER
THE BRIDGE IS OVER ♪
♪ HEY, HEY, THE BRIDGE IS OVER
THE BRIDGE IS OVER BIDDY, BYE-BYE ♪
♪ THE BRIDGE IS OVER, THE
BRIDGE CHECK IT OUT, NO ONE ♪
♪ ME COME IN ANY DANCE
WITH A SPLIFF O' SENSEI ♪
♪ DOWN WITH THE
SOUND CALLED B.D.P. ♪
♪ IF YOU WANT TO JOIN THE
CREW WELL, YOU MUST SEE ME ♪
♪ YA CAN'T SOUND LIKE
SHAN OR THE ONE MARLEY ♪
♪ BECAUSE SHAN AND MARLEY MARL
WELL, THEM ARE RHYMIN' LIKE THEY'RE GAY ♪
♪ PICKIN' UP THE RECORD AND THEN
THEM DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ♪
♪ SAYIN' HIP-HOP STARTED
OUT IN QUEENSBRIDGE ♪
♪ SAYIN' LIES LIKE THAT YOU
KNOW THEM CAN'T LIVE, SO ♪
♪ TELL THEM AGAIN ME
COME TO TELL THEM AGAIN ♪
♪ TELL THEM AGAIN ME
COME TO TELL THEM AGAIN ♪
♪ TELL THEM AGAIN ME
COME TO TELL THEM AGAIN ♪
♪ TELL THEM AGAIN ME
COME TO TELL THEM ♪
♪ MANHATTAN KEEPS ON MAKIN'
IT BROOKLYN KEEPS ON TAKIN' IT ♪
♪ BRONX KEEPS CREATIN' IT
AND QUEENS KEEPS ON FAKIN' IT ♪
[Laughs] NEW YORK, MAKE SOME
NOISE IN THE HOUSE! [Cheers]
♪♪ [Scatting]
♪ ALL YOU SUCKA M.C. WON'T YOU
PLEASE COME OUT TO PLAY, 'CAUSE ♪
♪ HERE'S AN EXAMPLE
OF THE KRS-ONE ♪
♪ HERE'S AN EXAMPLE
OF THE KRS-ONE ♪
♪ THEY WISH TO BATTLE
B.D.P. BUT THEY CANNOT ♪
♪ THEY MUST BE ON THE JOCK OF
WHO, D.J. SCOTT LA ROCK 'CAUSE WHY ♪
♪ WE DON'T COMPLAIN NOR DO
WE PLAY THE GAME OF FAVORS ♪
♪ BOOGIE DOWN PRODUCTIONS
COME IN THREE DIFFERENT FLAVORS ♪
♪ PICK ANY TIP FOR THE
FLAVOR THAT YOU SAVOR ♪
♪ MR. MAGIC MIGHT WISH TO
COME AND TRY TO SAVE YA ♪
♪ INSTEAD OF HELPIN' YA OUT HE
WANTS THE SAME THING I GAVE YA ♪
♪ WELL, I FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT WHAT
MAGIC MOUTH YOU USE FOR SUCKIN' ♪
♪ ROXANNE SHANTE IS ONLY
GOOD FOR STEADY PUMPIN' ♪♪
[Laughs] ♪♪ [Drumbeat Continues]
'NUFF RESPECT. 'NUFF RESPECT.
THIS IS BOOGIE DOWN PRODUCTIONS.
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN' ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
♪ TAKE IT FROM ME IT'S A'IGHT
TO BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ AND HOW WOULD YOU FEEL
KNOWING PREJUDICE WAS OBSOLETE ♪
♪ AND ALL MANKIND
DANCED TO THE EXACT BEAT ♪
♪ AND AT NIGHT IT WAS SAFE TO WALK
DOWN THE STREET ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ EVERYBODY HERE
IS EQUALLY KIND ♪
♪ EVERYBODY HERE
IS EQUALLY KIND ♪
♪ EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY
EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY ♪
♪ EVERYBODY HERE IS EQUALLY
KIND ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ WHAT'S MINE IS YOURS
AND WHAT'S YOURS IS MINE ♪
♪ IN LIVING C-C-C-OLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN' ♪
♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
♪ TAKE IT FROM ME IT'S A'IGHT
TO BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
[Audience Applauding, Cheering]
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
MR. DAVID ALAN GRIER.
GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN. MY NAME IS DAVID ALAN GRIER,
AND WELCOME TO IN LIVING
COLOR'S TRIBUTE... TO BROADWAY.
PAUL, IF YOU WILL, A
SPOTLIGHT, PLEASE.
[A Cappella] ♪ BROADWAY ♪
♪ BROADWAY ♪
♪ BROADWAY-AY-AY-AY-AY-AY ♪
[Faster] ♪ OOPS, LOOK
OUT FOR THAT TAXICAB ♪
OW! ♪ I JUST GOT STABBED ♪
♪ ON BROAD ♪ [Grunts] ♪ WAY ♪
[Grunts] ♪ ON BROADWAY ♪
♪ ON ♪♪ [Laughing] OH, MY...
[SW1] [In High
Voice] IT'S A CHICKIE!
IT'S A CHICKIE! IT'S A CHICKIE!
♪ ON BROADWAY ♪
[Keenen Laughing]
♪♪ [Hip-Hop] ♪ ON BROADWAY ♪♪
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪ ♪ YOU CAN WALK
ON THE MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪
♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪
♪ TAKE IT FROM ME IT'S A'IGHT
TO BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪
♪♪ [Jazzy Saxophone,
Slow] [Siren Blast]
♪♪ [Continues]
[Chatter On Police Radio]
GOOD EVENING, MA'AM. [Sighs]
DO YOU KNOW WHY I STOPPED YOU?
SAY, WHAT IS THIS...
20 QUESTIONS?
UH, DO YOU MIND
STEPPIN' OUT OF THE CAR?
NOT IF YOU DON'T MIND GETTING
A LOOK AT GREAT SET OF GAMS.
CARE FOR A SMOKE? OR IS THAT
AGAINST THE BOY SCOUT OATH?
UH, MAY I SEE YOUR
LICENSE, PLEASE?
SO, YOU WANT TO
PLAY ROUGH, DO YOU?
[Lighter Hits Ground] SURE,
COPPER. I'VE GOT NOTHING TO HIDE.
READ IT AND WEEP.
UH, YOU'RE VELMA MULHOLLAND?
SURE I'M VELMA... SURE AS 10
DIMES WILL GET YOU A DOLLAR.
ANY MORE QUESTIONS,
INSPECTOR, OR MAY I BE ON MY WAY?
IS THIS YOUR CAR? SURE, IT'S MY
CAR. YOU SEEN ME DRIVIN' IT, AIN'T YA?
CAN'T A GAL GO OUT FOR A COUPLE OF
YOO-HOOS AND A CARTON OF LUCKYS...
WITHOUT BRINGING IN THE FEDS?
LOOK, LADY, THIS IS
MERELY A TECHNICALITY.
I WASN'T SUGGESTING
THAT YOU'D DONE ANYTHING.
I JUST WANTED TO ASK YOU
A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS.
ALL RIGHT, YOU DIRTY SCREW,
I'LL SING. I'LL SING LIKE A CANARY.
I WAS BORN IN FLATBUSH, BROOKLYN,
TO A COUPLE OF SWEET FOLKS...
WHOSE ONLY FAULT WAS THEY
WERE POOR AS CHURCH MICE.
I LEFT HOME WHEN I WAS FIVE, AND
I'VE WORKED MY FINGERS TO THE BONE...
TO TRY TO MAKE
SOMETHING OF MYSELF.
I'VE SLUNG HASH IN EVERY GREASY
SPOON FROM HERE TO KALAMAZOO.
I MAY NOT BE THE BRIGHTEST DAME IN
TOWN, BUT I'VE GOT A HEART OF GOLD.
AND IF THAT'S A CRIME,
WELL, SLAP THOSE STEEL
BRACELETS ON ME AND
THROW ME IN THE SLAMMER.
THROW ME IN THE SLAMMER, COPPER.
THAT'S WHAT YOU'VE GOT TO DO.
THAT'S THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT.
IT'S ALL THERE IN BLACK AND WHITE.
SAY, SAY, SAY. WATCH IT
WITH THE FISTS, ZSA ZSA.
[Sobs] I'LL PUT YOU
IN A CHOKE HOLD.
LOOK, I ONLY STOPPED YOU
'CAUSE YOUR LEFT TAILLIGHT IS OUT.
OH, SURE, FLATFOOT.
LIGHTS OUT. JIG'S UP. BASES
LOADED. GOOSE IS COOKED.
I'VE HEARD IT ALL,
COPPER. YOU HEAR ME? I'VE
HEARD IT ALL. JUST
TAKE ME AWAY, WILL YOU?
TAKE ME AWAY. YOU'LL GET
YOUR LOUSY PROMOTION.
I ONLY HOPE YOU CAN
LIVE WITH YOURSELF.
LADY, THIS IS JUST A
SUMMONS. IT'S NOT A SUBPOENA.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE
HELL YOU'RE TALKIN' ABOUT,
AND FRANKLY, I DON'T
THINK YOU DO EITHER.
BUT THERE'S A DINER UP THE ROAD,
AND I THINK YOU SHOULD GO UP THERE
AND HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE AND COOL OUT.
AND FIX THAT DAMN TAILLIGHT.
WHAT'S THE MATTER, COPPER...
TOO MUCH WOMAN FOR YOU?
TOO CLOSE TO THE FLAME? TOO HOT TO
HANDLE? WELL, I'VE HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE.
YOU'RE NOT THE FIRST, AND WITH
ANY LUCK, YOU WON'T BE THE LAST.
SO LONG, SUCKER.
IT'S TIME. WHAT IS
YOUR FINAL REQUEST?
[Breathing Heavily] MUSIC.
I WANNA HEAR SOME MUSIC.
WHAT KIND OF MUSIC...
COUNTRY, SOUL? WHAT DO
YOU WANT... STEELY
DAN, THE EAGLES... WHAT?
SOUL MUSIC.
THE BEST DAMN SOUL
MUSIC YOU CAN FIND.
PRISONER 43628, RUDY FRANCIS
BURKE, THIS IS YOUR LAST REQUEST.
PLEASE PUT YOUR HANDS
TOGETHER FOR THE SOULFUL
STYLINGS OF CEPHUS AND
REESIE MERRIWEATHER.
♪♪ [Piano, Up-tempo] HEY!
HOW'S EVERYBODY DOIN'?
YOU KNOW, WE SO GLAD TO BE
HERE TONIGHT. ♪♪ [Continues]
IS EVERYBODY HAVIN'
A GOOD TIME? I AM!
YOU KNOW, REESIE?
SOMEBODY'S NOT SMILIN'! I AM!
I SAID, SOMEBODY'S
NOT SMILIN'! [Yelping]
I AM! PRISONER
43628, THIS IS FOR YOU.
[Reesie Squeals] [Laughing]
COME ON, BABY. HERE WE GO.
[Both] ♪ AIN'T NO
MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH ♪
♪ AIN'T NO ♪ WAIT A
MINUTE, NOW, REESIE.
YOU MEAN, IF I WAS ON ONE SIDE OF
MOUNT EVEREST AND YOU WAS ON THE OTHER,
YOU'D STILL COME AND GET ME?
YEAH, CEPHIE. THAT'S
A VERY HIGH MOUNTAIN.
[Squeals] [Laughs]
[Both] ♪ AIN'T NO
RIVER WIDE ENOUGH ♪
♪ AIN'T NO ♪
WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT A MINUTE, CEPHUS. YOU
MEAN TO TELL ME... UH-HUH.
IF WE WERE ON OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE
AMAZON RIVER, YOU'D STILL COME GET ME?
YES, REESIE. [Squeals] YOU KNOW
YOU AIN'T GOT NO BOAT, CEPHUS.
[Both Laugh] ♪ AIN'T NO
VALLEY LOW ENOUGH ♪
♪ AIN'T NO VALLEY ♪
WA-A-A-AIT A MINUTE NOW, REESIE.
YOU MEAN TO TELL ME, IF I WAS STUCK IN
THE MIDDLE OF THE SAN FERNANDO VALLEY...
AT THE SIDE OF THE ROAD WITH A FLAT
TIRE, YOU WOULD STILL COME TO GET ME?
YES, CEPHUS. I WOULD.
YOU KNOW YOU AIN'T
GOT NO SPARE. [Laughs]
- ♪♪ [Vocalizing Scream]
- OKAY. I THINK
I'VE HEARD ENOUGH.
OKAY. CEPHUS? SEE, WE GONNA BRING IT DOWN
NOW. WE GONNA BRING IT DOWN. ALL RIGHT.
NOW, THERE'S SOMEBODY VERY
SPECIAL IN THE AUDIENCE TONIGHT.
NOW, SOME OF YOU MAY CALL
HIM A CONVICTED MURDERER,
BUT WE LIKE TO CALL
HIM "RU-U-UDY-Y-Y."
RUDY, IS THAT A
GUN IN YOUR POCKET?
RUDY, YOU TRYIN' TO STEAL
MY WOMAN? JUST KIDDIN', MAN.
STAND UP, RUDY. STAND UP.
COME ON, RUDY. STAND UP, MAN.
COME ON. IS THIS
SOME KIND OF A JOKE?
RUDY, THIS IS FOR YOU. YO-O-OU.
[Both] ♪ AIN'T NO
MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH ♪
♪ AIN'T NO JELLY SWEET ENOUGH ♪
♪ AIN'T NO JHERI CURL ENOUGH ♪
♪ AIN'T NO VITA-MIN ENOUGH ♪
♪ AIN'T NO VIDA BLUE
ENOUGH ♪ [Yelling]
♪ AIN'T NO BARRY WHITE
ENOUGH ♪ COME ON, BABY!
♪ AIN'T NO JAMES ♪ COME ON.
SING THAT. ♪ BROWN ENOUGH ♪
KILL ME! ♪ AIN'T NO AL ♪
[With Cephus] ♪ GREEN
ENOUGH TO KEEP ME ♪
♪ FROM GETTIN' TO-O-O ♪
♪♪ [Piano Tremolo]
♪ AIN'T NO BORIS BADENOV AIN'T NO
BEEF STROGANOFF ♪ ♪♪ [Piano Resumes]
SOMEBODY THROW THAT SWITCH! ♪
AIN'T NO BLACK-EYED PEA ENOUGH ♪
♪ AIN'T NO AFRO SHEEN ENOUGH ♪
PLEASE! ♪ AIN'T NO PIT
BULL MEAN ENOUGH ♪
♪ TO KEEP ME FROM GETTIN' TO ♪
[Whimpering]
♪ AIN'T NO JELLY SWEET ENOUGH
AIN'T NO JHERI CURL ENOUGH ♪ OH, GOD!
SEND ME TO HELL! ♪ AIN'T
NO VITA-MIN ENOUGH ♪
♪ AIN'T NO VIDA BLUE ENOUGH AIN'T NO
BORIS BADENOV ♪ WHY? WARDEN, PLEASE!
♪ AIN'T NO BEEF STROGANOFF ♪
[Faster, Indistinct]
♪♪ [Both Vocalizing]
RUDY! OH, RUDY! COME
ON. GET UP, NOW, MAN.
COME ON! ALMOST UP THERE, RUDY!
THAT'S RIGHT. TAKE MY
HAND. COME ON. COME ON.
[Man] HE'S EXCITED.
SHE'S EXCITED.
EVERYBODY'S EXCITED FOR...
[Together] DO YOU FEEL LUCKY?
JOIN HOST DIRTY HARRY
FOR FOX'S NEW GAME SHOW...
WHERE CONTESTANTS
SPIN... AND WIN!
COME ON, BULLET!
[Yelps] [Gunshot]
- WIN BIG CASH.
- ONE...
[Audience] TWO, THREE...
- [Man] WIN BIG PRIZES.
- COME ON, BULLET!
[Gunshot] WIN BIG FUN!
[Groans] OH, YEAH.
SO, FOR A SHOOT-'EM-UP
GOOD TIME...
I WON. [Groans]
YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS
FOX'S ALL-NEW GAME SHOW...
[Audience, Together] DO
YOU FEEL LUCKY? [Gunfire]
♪ THE FLY GIRLS ♪
♪♪ [Indistinct]
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
[Applauding]
PRAISE THE LORD.
YES, INDEED. WELCOME BACK TO
THE FIRST CHURCH OF DISCOUNT SIN.
I AM THE REVEREND ED CASH. AND I AM
THE DOCTOR REVEREND CARL PATHOS.
AND TONIGHT WE'RE
GONNA SET YOU FREE. AMEN.
WE'RE GONNA LOOSEN
YOU UP. PRAISE THE LORD.
WE'RE GONNA LET IT ALL HANG OUT. I LEFT
MY UNDERWEAR AT HOME TONIGHT, BROTHER.
WELL, MAYBE NOT "HANG OUT"
LIKE THAT. PARDON ME, BROTHER.
WE LIKE TO CALL OURSELVES THE 595
CLUB... THAT'S RIGHT, MARKED DOWN FROM 700.
SEE, TONIGHT OUR FIRST SPECIAL IS
A TWO-FOR-ONE SALE ON ADULTERY.
ALLELUIA!
YES, INDEED. SO, IF YOU ARE
ALREADY IN A SINFUL RELATIONSHIP,
BUT YOU GOT YOUR
EYE ON SOMEBODY ELSE,
YOU CAN BE FORGIVEN FOR
BOTH OF THEM FOR JUST 99.95...
EVEN LESS ON OUR
FREQUENT SINNER PLAN.
OH, YES. YOU'LL SAVE ALMOST FIVE DOLLARS
PER SIN, AND THE 10th SIN IS... WHAT?
[Woman] FREE.
FREE. THAT'S RIGHT.
AND HOW WONDERFUL IT IS TO BE FREE
OF SIN, BROTHER. OH, PRAISE THE LORD.
FREE FROM THE HAUNTING FEELING THAT YOU'VE
STOOPED TO THE WEAKNESS OF THE FLESH.
PREACH, BROTHER. PREACH
ON. YOU'VE DRIVEN TO
THAT REMOTE MOTEL AND
WATCHED THAT WOMAN...
DO VILE THINGS WITH ITEMS FROM ALL
FOUR OF THE BASIC FOOD GROUPS. [Sobs]
YOU LOST ME THERE, BROTHER.
[Continues Sobbing]
I AM SPIRITUAL SCUM! YES,
YOU ARE, BUT LOOK AT THERE.
♪♪ [Church Organ, Fanfare] IT'S
TIME FOR OUR BLUELIGHT SPECIAL.
- YES, INDEED. OUR FEATURED SIN
FOR TONIGHT IS BIGAMY.
- [Breathing Heavily]
OH, YEAH. I'M GONNA
GO EVEN FURTHER.
I'M GONNA MAKE IT ANY SIN
BEGINNING WITH THE LETTER "B."
YOU CAN GET DISCOUNT RATES
RIGHT NOW ON BLASPHEMY,
BURGLARY, BRIBERY... REVEREND,
WHAT ABOUT THE BIG "B"?
SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE'S BEEN...
[Imitating Sheep] A BA-A-AD BOY.
YOU'RE SHEDDIN'
ON MY COAT, PLEASE.
SO LET'S GO TO THE
PHONES RIGHT NOW. LINE
TWO, DOES YOUR SIN
BEGIN WITH THE LETTER "B"?
[Boy On Speaker] NO. I WAS WONDERING
WHEN YOU WERE GETTING TO THE "M's."
OOH!
REMEMBER, IT IS WRITTEN,
"IF THE RIGHT HAND OFFENDETH THEE,
THEN CUT IT OFF AND CAST IT AWAY."
BUT OF COURSE, HERE, FOR A MERE DONATION
OF 29.95, YOU CAN JUST WASH THAT AWAY.
I CAN SMELL THE BARGAIN.
LINE THREE, WHAT IS YOUR
SIN? [Man On Speaker] IT'S MY WIFE.
SHE'S HAD AFFAIRS WITH THE
MAILMAN, THE BOTTLED-WATER MAN...
THE TV CABLE MAN
AND THE GAS MAN.
WELL, IT SOUNDS LIKE SHE NEEDS
A LITTLE PERSONAL COUNSELING.
WHY DON'T YOU HAVE HER COME BY THE STUDIO,
AND I CAN LAY MY HEALIN' HANDS ON HER?
IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT. I'M CALLIN'
FROM DEATH ROW. [Rev. Cash] UH-OH.
SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED
SOME FORGIVENESS IN A HURRY.
AND LUCKY FOR YOU, I CAN SPEAK TO
THE LORD RIGHT AWAY ON YOUR BEHALF.
AND I WILL SPEAK TO HIM
THROUGH TONGUES. YOU
JUST HOLD ON A MINUTE.
I GOT HIS 800 NUMBER.
PETER PIPER PICKED A PEPPER,
PICKLED PEPPER, PICK A PEPPER...
PETER PIPER PICK... PICK... SOUNDS
LIKE WE GOT A BAD CONNECTION, BROTHER.
I THINK SO. I SHOULD TRY AGAIN.
SEASHELL, SHE SELLS BY THE SEASHORE
WITH THE SEASHELLS, SHE SHELL...
ANOTHER BAD CONNECTION.
LET ME TRY THIS ONE.
TRY THE BEEPER NUMBER.
DO, RE, MI, FA, SO, LA, TI,
DO. DO, MY, MI, FA, SO, LA, TI...
AND THAT BRING
US BACK TO... WHAT?
"DOUGH." THAT'S RIGHT.
AS IN "DONATION." LET'S SEE
THE TOTE BOARD. BRING IT DOWN.
♪♪ [Church Organ, Fanfare]
ELEVEN DOLLARS?
ELEVEN DOLLARS? NOW, THAT'S PITIFUL. I
KNOW Y'ALL DONE SINNED MORE THAN THAT.
I DONE SINNED WITH HALF OF YOU
MORE THAN THAT IN THIS ROOM NOW.
YOU KNOW, MY COLLEAGUE, ORAL
ROBERTS, WAS TOLD BY THE LORD...
TO RAISE EIGHT MILLION DOLLARS OR THE
LORD WOULD TAKE HIS LIFE. YES, HE WAS.
NOW, REVEREND CASH AND MYSELF FIND
OURSELVES IN A SIMILAR SITUATION. AMEN.
SEE, NOW, YOU ALL... THE PEOPLE THAT
CALLED IN FOR THE ADULTERY SPECIAL...
YOU GOTTA KEEP IN MIND, WE STILL
HAVE THE NUMBERS TO YOUR SPOUSES, SEE.
SO IF Y'ALL DON'T START CALLIN', WE
GONNA DO SOME CALLIN' OF OUR OWN.
WE'RE GONNA REACH OUT
AND TELL ON SOMEBODY.
YES, INDEED.
UH-OH, I CAN FEEL THE
LORD WORKIN'. LOOK AT HERE.
IT'S A MIRACLE,
BROTHER! YES, INDEED.
BROTHER CARL, TAKE US
OUT WITH A SONG. GLADLY.
♪ HE'LL RIP MY LIPS OFF
AND POKE MY EYES OUT ♪
♪ AND USE MY COLON
FOR DOUBLE DUTCH ♪
♪ AND THEN HE'LL TAKE MY HEAD AND STUFF
IT IN THE TOILET ♪♪ COME ON, EVERYONE.
[No Singing]
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
♪ ALL THE GIRLS GO ♪
♪ ALL THE GIRLS GO ♪
[Echoing] ♪ ALL ♪
[Echoing] ♪ ALL ♪
♪ ALL THE GIRLS GO ♪
♪ ALL THE GIRLS GO ♪
[Echoing] ♪ ALL ♪
[Man] IF YOU WERE CHARMED BY PRETTY
WOMAN... HEY, YOU WANNA GO OUT?
ANYBODY GOIN' OUT, ALREADY? IS
ANYBODY... YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THE SEQUEL:
PRETTY BUFFED WOMAN, STARRING
CHAMPION FEMALE BODYBUILDER VERA DE MILO.
HOW 'BOUT A LITTLE BOOTY, CUTIE?
♪ PRETTY WOMAN ♪
♪ I DON'T BELIEVE YOU
YOU'RE NOT THE TRUTH ♪
- ♪ NO ONE COULD LOOK
AS GOOD AS YOU ♪
- COME ON, HONEY. LOSER!
♪ PRETTY WOMAN
WON'T YOU PARDON ME ♪
♪♪ [Continues] [In Deep
Voice] HI, THERE, HANDSOME.
HOW ABOUT A DATE?
UH, NO THANKS. MAYBE
SOME OTHER TIME.
[Retches]
HEY! WHAT THE...
GUESS WHAT? IT'S SADIE
HAWKINS DAY. [Tires Squealing]
HOW ABOUT A LIFT TO
YOUR HOTEL, MONEYBAGS?
[Coughing]
I THINK I'M GONNA STICK AROUND FOR
ANOTHER WEEK OR SO. UH, ACTUALLY,
MY PLANE LEAVES
TOMORROW MORNING.
I DON'T THINK SO.
[Spits, Coughs] BUT I THINK
I COULD RESCHEDULE.
REALLY? I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS. IT'S A DREAM COME TRUE.
TAKE ME SHOPPING, BUBBLEHEAD.
♪ PRETTY WOMAN ♪
[Fabric Tears]
♪ WALKIN' DOWN THE
STREET PRETTY WOMAN ♪
♪ THE KIND I'D LIKE TO MEET ♪
♪ PRETTY WOMAN ♪
[Tears]
♪ I DON'T BELIEVE YOU
YOU'RE NOT THE TRUTH ♪
♪ NO ONE COULD LOOK
AS GOOD AS YOU ♪ [Growling]
♪ PRETTY WOMAN ♪
♪ WON'T YOU PARDON
ME PRETTY WOMAN ♪ NEXT!
♪ I COULDN'T HELP BUT
SEE PRETTY WOMAN ♪
THIS'LL DO. CHARGE IT. ♪ THAT
YOU LOOK LOVELY AS CAN BE ♪
♪ ARE YOU LONELY JUST LIKE ME ♪
[Whinnying]
[Groaning]
[Man] VERA DE MILO IS A
PRETTY BUFFED WOMAN.
[Strained] WHAT DO
YOU WANT FROM ME?
I WANT THE FAIRY TALE.
[Whinnies, Blows]
COMING SOON TO A THEATER
NEAR YOU. ♪ PRETTY WOMAN ♪♪
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANKS FOR COMING TO THE SHOW.
LISTEN HERE. UH, THE
GENTLEMAN I'M GONNA BRING ON...
TO TAKE US HOME TONIGHT, UM...
IT'S VERY... IT'S A VERY
SPECIAL MOMENT FOR ME.
THIS GUY, UM, WAS THERE WHEN I DID MY
VERY FIRST FILM, I'M GONNA GIT YOU SUCKA.
HE DID THE THEME
SONG, "JACK OF SPADES,"
AND, UM, REALLY ADDED SOMETHING SPECIAL TO
THE FILM, AND I'M GLAD HE'S HERE TONIGHT.
PERFORMING FROM THE
CLASSIC ALBUM CRIMINAL MINDED...
A MAN WHO'S IN A
CLASS BY HIMSELF,
THE PREACHER, THE
PROPHET, THE POET...
KRS-ONE.
ONE, TWO. ONE, TWO.
YES. ♪♪ [Drumbeat Starts]
AND AS YOU OPEN UP
YOUR CHRISTMAS GIFTS,
WE'RE GONNA GIVE YOU A
LITTLE CHRISTMAS CLASSIC,
AND IT GOES A LITTLE
SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
THIS GOES OUT TO THE NEW YORK CREW IN THE
HOUSE. NEW YORK, MAKE SOME NOISE. [Cheers]
YES, YES, YES, YES. AS YOU KNOW, THIS IS
THE MIGHTY BOOGIE DOWN PRODUCTIONS.
AND THIS IS NOT MILLI
VANILLI. WE ARE LIVE! [Laughs]
SO CHECK IT OUT.
SO CHECK IT OUT.
♪ THE BRIDGE IS OVER THE
BRIDGE IS OVER BIDDY, BYE-BYE ♪
♪ THE BRIDGE IS OVER
THE BRIDGE IS OVER ♪
♪ HEY, HEY, THE BRIDGE IS OVER
THE BRIDGE IS OVER BIDDY, BYE-BYE ♪
♪ THE BRIDGE IS OVER, THE
BRIDGE CHECK IT OUT, NO ONE ♪
♪ ME COME IN ANY DANCE
WITH A SPLIFF O' SENSEI ♪
♪ DOWN WITH THE
SOUND CALLED B.D.P. ♪
♪ IF YOU WANT TO JOIN THE
CREW WELL, YOU MUST SEE ME ♪
♪ YA CAN'T SOUND LIKE
SHAN OR THE ONE MARLEY ♪
♪ BECAUSE SHAN AND MARLEY MARL
WELL, THEM ARE RHYMIN' LIKE THEY'RE GAY ♪
♪ PICKIN' UP THE RECORD AND THEN
THEM DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ♪
♪ SAYIN' HIP-HOP STARTED
OUT IN QUEENSBRIDGE ♪
♪ SAYIN' LIES LIKE THAT YOU
KNOW THEM CAN'T LIVE, SO ♪
♪ TELL THEM AGAIN ME
COME TO TELL THEM AGAIN ♪
♪ TELL THEM AGAIN ME
COME TO TELL THEM AGAIN ♪
♪ TELL THEM AGAIN ME
COME TO TELL THEM AGAIN ♪
♪ TELL THEM AGAIN ME
COME TO TELL THEM ♪
♪ MANHATTAN KEEPS ON MAKIN'
IT BROOKLYN KEEPS ON TAKIN' IT ♪
♪ BRONX KEEPS CREATIN' IT
AND QUEENS KEEPS ON FAKIN' IT ♪
[Laughs] NEW YORK, MAKE SOME
NOISE IN THE HOUSE! [Cheers]
♪♪ [Scatting]
♪ ALL YOU SUCKA M.C. WON'T YOU
PLEASE COME OUT TO PLAY, 'CAUSE ♪
♪ HERE'S AN EXAMPLE
OF THE KRS-ONE ♪
♪ HERE'S AN EXAMPLE
OF THE KRS-ONE ♪
♪ THEY WISH TO BATTLE
B.D.P. BUT THEY CANNOT ♪
♪ THEY MUST BE ON THE JOCK OF
WHO, D.J. SCOTT LA ROCK 'CAUSE WHY ♪
♪ WE DON'T COMPLAIN NOR DO
WE PLAY THE GAME OF FAVORS ♪
♪ BOOGIE DOWN PRODUCTIONS
COME IN THREE DIFFERENT FLAVORS ♪
♪ PICK ANY TIP FOR THE
FLAVOR THAT YOU SAVOR ♪
♪ MR. MAGIC MIGHT WISH TO
COME AND TRY TO SAVE YA ♪
♪ INSTEAD OF HELPIN' YA OUT HE
WANTS THE SAME THING I GAVE YA ♪
♪ WELL, I FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT WHAT
MAGIC MOUTH YOU USE FOR SUCKIN' ♪
♪ ROXANNE SHANTE IS ONLY
GOOD FOR STEADY PUMPIN' ♪♪
[Laughs] ♪♪ [Drumbeat Continues]
'NUFF RESPECT. 'NUFF RESPECT.
THIS IS BOOGIE DOWN PRODUCTIONS.