In Living Color (1990–1994): Season 2, Episode 18 - Lil Magic's School Play - full transcript

♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN' ♪

♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪

♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪

♪ TAKE IT FROM ME IT'S A'IGHT
TO BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ AND HOW WOULD YOU FEEL
KNOWING PREJUDICE WAS OBSOLETE ♪

♪ AND ALL MANKIND
DANCED TO THE EXACT BEAT ♪

♪ AND AT NIGHT IT WAS SAFE TO WALK
DOWN THE STREET ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪



♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ EVERYBODY HERE
IS EQUALLY KIND ♪

♪ EVERYBODY HERE
IS EQUALLY KIND ♪

♪ EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY
EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY ♪

♪ EVERYBODY HERE IS EQUALLY
KIND ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ WHAT'S MINE IS YOURS
AND WHAT'S YOURS IS MINE ♪

♪ IN LIVING C-C-C-OLOR ♪

♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN' ♪



♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪

♪ YOU SEE, IT'S NEVER TOO
LATE AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪

♪ TAKE IT FROM ME IT'S A'IGHT
TO BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪

[Audience Applauding]

I TELL YA, THESE ARE THE BEST
DAMN APPLICATIONS I'VE EVER SEEN.

THESE TWO ARE GONNA FIT RIGHT IN
HERE AT THE DIXIE HILLS COUNTRY CLUB.

LOOK AT THIS... HARVARD
GRADUATES, CHAMPION SKIERS,

MEMBERS OF THE GLEE CLUB.

- [Dogs Growling]
- SHOW THEM IN. LET'S GET
THESE FORMALITIES OVER WITH.

EXCUSE ME. UH, THE KITCHEN
ENTRANCE IS FOR THE CADDIES.

WELL, THANKS, BUT
WE DRIVE A VOLVO.

AND FRANKLY, WE'D RATHER KEEP IT IN
THE PARKING LOT. WOULDN'T YOU SAY, TOM?

THAT'S RIGHT. YOU DON'T WANT THE
YOU-KNOW-WHO'S TO GET IT. THAT'S RIGHT.

- WHO ARE YOU?
- WE'RE TOM AND TOM,
THE BROTHERS BROTHERS.

THAT'S RIGHT. WE HOPE WE'RE
NOT LATE. IT'S JUST THAT, UH,

THAT INITIATION YOU PUT US
THROUGH WAS PRETTY TRICKY.

THOSE WERE THE FRIENDLIEST
DOGS I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.

THAT WAS VERY CLEVER
OF YOU. THAT'S RIGHT.

AND THE GUY WITH THE BILLY CLUB,
HEY, HE MUST BE A METHOD ACTOR.

I'VE GOT SOME KNOTS
ON MY NOODLE, THERE.

- YOU MIGHT WANT TO FEED
THOSE DOGS, THOUGH.
- THAT'S RIGHT.

AH, BUT THEY HAD THE FRIENDLIEST
LITTLE SMILES, ALL THOSE TEETH.

I HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING
LIKE THAT IN A LONG TIME.

I THOUGHT GARY
COLEMAN WAS ON MY ARM.

I THINK WE'RE READY FOR
THE LAST STEP THOUGH.

WE WERE PRACTICING THAT
HANDSHAKE. LET'S SHOW 'EM, TOM.

WHISTLE! WHISTLE! WHISTLE!
WHISTLE! WHISTLE! [Whistling]

THAT'S VERY INSPIRING,
GENTLEMEN, BUT I

DON'T THINK YOU FIT
IN HERE. I REALLY DON'T.

I MEAN, WE'RE ALL REPUBLICANS, AND
YOU'RE PROBABLY JESSE SUPPORTERS.

YOU BET YOUR LAST GRAHAM
CRACKER AND, UH, VELVEETA CHEESE.

THAT'S RIGHT. I MEAN,
JESSE HELMS IS A GREAT MAN.

ANY REPUBLICAN WORTH HIS WEIGHT
IN KRUGERRANDS WOULD KNOW THAT.

THAT'S RIGHT. HE'S DONE A
LOT FOR THE TOBACCO INDUSTRY.

WHY, IF IT WASN'T FOR JESSE,
THERE'D BE NO CIGARETTES.

THAT'S RIGHT. I MEAN, WHAT WOULD
YOU DO AFTER SEX... SMOKE A HAM?

[Both Laughing]

SMOKED HAM.

I WAS TALKING ABOUT
JESSE JACKSON.

WHO?

JESSE JACKSON? IS HE THE
ONE BETWEEN MICHAEL AND TITO?

- YEAH. HE PLAYS THE BONGOS,
DOESN'T HE?
- THE ONE THAT KEPT THE NOSE.

LOOK, DO I HAVE TO
SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU

PEOPLE? WE DON'T WANT
YOUR KIND AROUND HERE.

OH, HERE WE GO AGAIN, TOM.

FARGENOODLE. BULL DOOKEY.

THAT'S RIGHT. DON'T BLOW YOUR
STACK, MAN. NO. DOODLE NOODLES.

DOUBLE DOODLE NOODLES.
BUT DON'T BLOW YOUR STACK.

WELL, I-I'M JUST SICK AND
TIRED OF THIS KIND OF PREJUDICE.

LISTEN HERE, PAL. JUST BECAUSE WE'RE
ENTERTAINERS DOESN'T MAKE US SNOBS.

THAT'S RIGHT. WE'RE PEOPLE.

WE ARE THE WORLD.

KUMBAYA.

THAT IS NOT WHAT WE MEANT.

SO YOU'RE ENTERTAINERS.

WELL, THEN, YOU MIGHT WANT
TO MEET, UH, THE CLUB COMEDIAN.

TOM AND TOM, MEET
BILLY BOB BAKER.

BILLY BOB BAKER.
HOW YOU BOYS DOIN'?

BILLY BOB BAKER.
BILLY BOB BAKER.

SAY, HEY, I'VE GOT A
REAL CORKER FOR Y'ALL.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLACK
MAN IN A THREE-PIECE SUIT?

- A DEFENDANT!
- WELL, HOW'D YOU KNOW
THAT JOKE?

KNOW IT? WE WROTE IT. WE
USE IT IN OUR NIGHTCLUB ACT.

SURE. HEY, I GOT ONE FOR YOU.
WHY'S ALL THE ASPIRIN WHITE?

BECAUSE YOU WANT IT TO
WORK FOR YOU, DON'T YOU?

I GOT ONE! I GOT ONE! I GOT
ONE! I GOT ONE! I GOT ONE!

HOW DO YOU BABYSIT
A LITTLE BLACK KID?

VELCRO ON THE CEILING!

OH, DARN! HE KNEW IT!
THEY'RE FANS OF OURS.

YOU KNOW, OTIS, I THINK
WE SHOULD ELECT THEM.

IT MAY HELP US SETTLE THAT
DISCRIMINATION SUIT. HMM.

ALRIGHTY, THEN. CONGRATULATIONS.

YOU'RE THE NEW DIXIE
HILL COUNTRY CLUB TOMS!

OOH!

OH, THANK YOU. OH,
GOSH. I'M SPEECHLESS.

THIS IS... THIS IS THE
HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

I-I HAVEN'T BEEN THIS HONORED SINCE I
WON THE BRYANT GUMBEL LOOK-ALIKE CONTEST.

AND I WON THE BYRON
ALLEN LOOK-ALIKE CONTEST.

OH, GOSH. I TELL YOU WHAT. HOW
ABOUT WE SING ABOUT IT, TOM?

- YEAH, LET'S DO THAT.
- HOWARD?

HOWARD? COMING RIGHT UP, SIR.

SAY. IS THAT UNCLE BEN?

HIT IT.

♪ IF YOU NEED A TOKEN
THEN JUST COUNT ON US ♪

♪ WE'LL FULFILL YOUR QUOTA
WE WON'T MAKE A FUSS ♪

♪ ALTHOUGH OUR SKIN IS DARK
IT'S NO PROBLEM, YOU SEE ♪

♪ YOUR GOLF BALLS AND OURS
ARE BOTH WHITE AS CAN BE ♪♪

HELLO, I'M OPRAH WINFREY.

AND FOR THOSE OF YOU
WHO STILL DON'T GET IT,

I'M GONNA SHOW
YOU ONE MORE TIME.

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN.

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS.

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON ALCOHOL.

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON HARD
ROLL WITH BACON AND TOMATO.

ANY QUESTIONS?

PATHETIC.

JUST PATHETIC.

THEY DON'T HAVE ENOUGH WORDS TO
DESCRIBE HOW BAD YOU GUYS WERE YESTERDAY.

TO SAY THAT YOU BLOW CHUNKS
WOULD BE AN UNDERSTATEMENT.

ROLL THE FILM.

SO FAR SO GOOD, COOPER,
BUT HERE'S WHERE YOU LOSE IT.

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

IT WAS A TOUCHDOWN DANCE, COACH.

YOU CALL THAT A TOUCHDOWN
DANCE? I CALL THAT A HOOTENANNY!

[All Laughing]

SHUT UP! THE REST OF YOU WERE
JUST AS RIDICULOUS! WATCH THIS.

SHUT IT OFF. PATHETIC!

WE'RE 10-0, AND WE'RE STILL THE
LAUGHINGSTOCK OF THE ENTIRE LEAGUE.

YOU NEED HELP, PEOPLE!

SO TODAY WE'RE GONNA BE WORKING
WITH GUY STEMPLE FROM THE CITY BALLET.

GUY, THEY'RE ALL YOURS.

THANKS A LOT, COACH.

MUCH TOO WET.

WHAT'S WITH THIS GUY,
COACH? I THINK HE'S A...

CHOREOGRAPHER,
PETERSON. A CHOREOGRAPHER.

HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT I AM!

NOW LISTEN UP, MAGGOTS!

FOR THE NEXT WEEK, I AM YOUR MOTHER,
YOUR FATHER, YOUR SISTER AND YOUR BROTHER.

I AM YOUR WORST
NIGHTMARE, MISTERS!

NOW LET'S GO. COME ON. UP ON
YOUR FEET, EVERYONE! COME ON!

[Blows]

ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO NOW! IT'S ONE, TWO,
THREE, FOUR AND ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.

AND KICK BALL RIGHT. THERE YOU
GO. NOW SASHAY TO THE LEFT. COME ON.

[Blows] [Panting]

SWIM! SWIM! COME
ON! COME ON, SWIM!

YOU CAN DO IT!
COME ON! [Sobbing]

I CAN'T DO IT! YOU CAN DO THIS!

ALL RIGHT, NOW COME ON. LET'S GLAZE
THE DOUGHNUT. GLAZE. AND GLAZE.

AND GLAZE. AND GLAZE. ALL
RIGHT, SPRINKLE ON THOSE JIMMIES.

COME ON. SPRINKLE
THOSE JIMMIES ON.

[Chuckles]

WHAT ARE YOU
GUYS DOIN'... [Sighs]

LOOK, IF YOU GUYS DON'T
WANT IT, THEN I DON'T, ALL RIGHT?

IT'S JUST THAT I PROMISED
MYSELF THAT... THAT I WOULDN'T...

[Sighs] JUST FORGET
IT, ALL RIGHT?

I AM OUT OF HERE!

CAN WE TRY IT AGAIN? WHAT?

I SAID, UH, CAN WE TRY IT AGAIN?

[Sighs] ALL RIGHT, NOW LOOK.
WHAT I NEED YOU GUYS TO DO...

[Guy] NOW LET'S SELL THE
SIZZLE AS WELL AS THE STEAK!

COME ON, GUYS. THE GUY UP IN
SEAT TRIPLE "Z" PAID FOR A TICKET.

LET'S GIVE HIM A SHOW!

FELLAS, IF WE DO
THIS ON SUNDAY...

WE ARE REALLY
GONNA BE SOMETHING.

[Cheering]

[Man On P.A.] PETERSON'S
OPEN! HE MAKES THE CATCH!

HE'S ON THE 15, THE 10,
THE FIVE! TOUCHDOWN!

ALL RIGHT! WHOO-HOO!
YOU SWEET BABY!

I KNEW YOU LOVED US! I KNEW IT!

♪♪ [Disco]

♪ BURN, BABY, BURN ♪
♪ DISCO INFERNO ♪

♪ BURN, BABY, BURN ♪
♪ BURN THAT MOTHER DOWN, Y'ALL ♪

♪ BURN, BABY, BURN ♪
♪ DISCO INFERNO ♪

♪ BURN, BABY, BURN ♪
♪ BURN THAT MOTHER DOWN ♪

♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ UP ABOVE MY HEAD ♪

♪ I HEAR MUSIC IN THE AIR ♪
♪ I HEAR MUSIC ♪

♪ THAT MAKES ME KNOW
THERE'S A PROMISE SOMEWHERE ♪

♪ BURN, BABY, BURN ♪
♪ DISCO INFERNO ♪

♪ BURN, BABY, BURN ♪
♪ BURN THAT MOTHER DOWN ♪♪

[Cheering]

[Man] WE NEVER WON ANOTHER GAME,

BUT GUY'S MEMORY IS A FLAME
THAT WILL SIZZLE IN OUR HEARTS...

[Sniffles] FOREVER.

NOW, LIL MAGIC, FORGET
WHAT THAT DIRECTOR SAID...

'CAUSE TONIGHT YOU GOT TO
GET ON THE GOOD FOOT, BABY,

'CAUSE THERE'S A BIG TALENT AGENT
SITTIN' RIGHT OUT THERE IN THE AUDIENCE...

AND THIS IS OUR BIG
CHANCE. DON'T WORRY, MAMA.

THIS TIME I'M GONNA GET DISCOVERED
AND I'M GONNA MAKE LOTS OF MONEY...

AND I'M GONNA GET OUR LIGHTS
TURNED BACK ON... UH, LIL MAGIC.

AND I'M GONNA BUY SOME NEW LARD
TO FRY THE CHICKEN IN... UH, LIL MAGIC.

AND I'LL PAY TO GET THE OTHER HALF
OF YOUR WEAVE DONE... OH, HUSH UP!

SORRY, MAMA. OH,
THAT'S OKAY, BABY.

JUST FOLLOW MAMA'S CUE, HEAR? I'M
GONNA BE RIGHT IN THE FRONT ROW.

OKAY, MAMA. STAND UP STRAIGHT.

MOVE!

I'M SO GLAD YOU COULD
MAKE IT, MR. CONRAD.

WELL, IT'S MY JOB TO FIND TALENT AND
I'VE HEARD YOUR SON HAS A LOT OF IT.

OH, THAT LITTLE CHICKEN McNUGGET
COULDN'T ACT HIS WAY OUT A PAPER BAG!

EVERYBODY KNOW MY LIL MAGIC IS
THE ONE THAT GOT THE REAL TALENT.

START THE SHOW!

[Whistling]

THE FULTON COUNTY COMMUNITY
PROJECT PROUDLY PRESENTS...

PLEASE, MAMA, DON'T EAT
THE GOVERNMENT CHEESE.

WHAT? LAID OFF AGAIN?

WOMAN, DON'T START WITH ME!

BUT THAT'S THE SIXTH TIME THIS
MONTH! WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO EAT?

COME ON, BABY, NOW DON'T WORRY.

THIS IS AMERICA... LAND
OF MILK AND HONEY.

WE CAN ALWAYS EAT
THAT GOVERNMENT CHEESE.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT! I FORGOT
ABOUT THAT GOVERNMENT CHEESE!

WHAT? AGAIN? BUT THIS
IS THE FIFTH TIME IN A ROW.

PLEASE, MAMA. DON'T EAT
THE GOVERNMENT CHEESE.

[Screams] HI! I'M THE
GOVERNMENT CHEESE!

WHO'S THAT? THAT'S MY LIL MAGIC,
ONLY THE MOST "TALENTEDEST,"

"BRILLIANTEDEST," CHEESIEST LITTLE LADY
IN THE WHOLE WIDE UNIVERSE, THAT'S WHO.

AND MISS SMILE BRIGHT 1987! SEE!

HE CAME HERE TO
SEE MY LITTLE BOY.

OH. THIS IS HIS BIG SOLO.

♪ IT MIGHT LOOK LIKE VELVEETA ♪

♪ BUT PLEASE, MOM... ♪♪

♪ AND I AM TELLING YOU ♪

[Both Singing]

YEAH! ♪ YOU'RE THE
BEST MAN I'LL EVER KNOW ♪

DO IT LIKE I TOLD YOU,
BABY! [Lil Magic Singing]

♪ NO, NO, NO, NO ♪ OH, YOU AIN'T
LEAVIN' YET. SHE'S JUST GETTIN' STARTED.

YO, MAGIC! DO YOUR MICHAEL JACKSON,
BABY! DO YOUR MICHAEL JACKSON!

♪♪ [Pop]

ALL RIGHT NOW, BABY. PICK
UP THE FRIGIDAIRE, HONEY.

PICK UP THE FRIGIDAIRE,
BABY. THERE YOU GO.

NOW DO YOUR MOONWALK! DO YOUR
MOONWALK, LIL MAGIC. THERE YOU GO.

DO THE SOMERSAULT! SOMERSAULT,
HONEY! THE SOMERSAULT!

THERE YOU GO! [Laughing]

NOW SAW YOURSELF IN HALF.
LIL MAGIC, SAW YOURSELF IN HALF.

YOU CAN'T! NO, NO, NO, BABY!
BABY, BABY, YOU CAN'T DO THAT!

NOW I ASK, YOU EVER SEEN
SOMETHING SO WONDERFUL? [Gasping]

I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING
LIKE THAT IN MY LIFE!

THANK YOU, MAMA. YOU
WERE SO WONDERFUL.

I GOT SOMEBODY HERE
WANT TO MEET YOU!

MAMA, YOU THINK HE
LIKED ME? OH, YEAH.

HE WAS SCARED OF YOU.
OH, I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!

NOW I'M GONNA GET MY OWN TV
SHOW CALLED THE LIL MAGIC OF BEL AIR.

UH, LIL MAGIC... UH-HUH. AND THEY'RE
GONNA FLY ME TO HOLLYWOOD...

ON A BIG PLANE
THAT SAYS LIL MAGIC.

UH, LIL MAGIC... THEN I'M GONNA PUT MY
FEET AND HANDS IN GRAUMAN'S THEATER...

OH, HUSH UP! SORRY, MAMA.

OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, BABY. NOW GO
AND CATCH HIM BEFORE HE GET IN HIS CAR.

- NOW WATCH OUT
FOR THE FIRST HURDLE!
- ♪ AND I'M TELLIN' YOU ♪♪

♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪

♪ TELL YOUR MOMS TO
MIND HER BUSINESS ♪

♪ BUSINESS, BUSINESS
BUSINESS, BUSINESS ♪

♪ YOUR MOM'S IN MY BUSINESS
SHE'S IN MY BUSINESS ♪

♪ CAN'T YOU SEE, GIRL YOUR MAMA'S TRYIN'
TO END THIS YOUR MOM'S IN OUR BUSINESS ♪

♪ NOW TELL YOUR MOM TO MIND
HER BUSINESS BUSINESS, BUSINESS ♪

♪ BEFORE I LET GO ♪ ♪ YOUR MOM'S IN
OUR BUSINESS SHE'S IN OUR BUSINESS ♪

♪ CAN'T YOU SEE, GIRL,
THAT YOUR MOM'S TRYIN'

TO END THIS YOUR
MOM'S IN OUR BUSINESS ♪

♪ NOW TELL YOUR MOMS TO MIND
HER BUSINESS BUSINESS, BUSINESS ♪

♪ BEFORE I LET GO ♪ ♪ WHEN I WAS WITH
YOUR MOMS I GAVE YOUR MOM RESPECT ♪

♪ BUT NOW I SEE SHE KNOWS
ME I SEE THAT SHE SUSPECTS ♪

♪ I'M SOME BAD GUY
I DON'T KNOW WHY ♪

♪ YOU HAVE TO TELL YOUR
MOTHER LIES ABOUT YOU AND I ♪♪

ALL RIGHT, CHILDREN. I WANT
EVERYBODY TO SETTLE DOWN,

BECAUSE WITH US TODAY
IS FIRE MARSHALL BILL.

AND HE'S GONNA BE
TEACHING US ABOUT SAFETY

IN THE CLASSROOM,
OKAY? FIRE MARSHALL BILL!

- HOWDY, KIDS!
- HOWDY, FIRE MARSHALL BILL!

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. WE'RE ALL
PERFECTLY SAFE IN THIS CLASSROOM, RIGHT?

- RIGHT!
- WRONG!

JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU
SEE IN HERE IS A POTENTIAL HAZARD.

LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

LETS JUST SAY YOU'RE CHANGIN'
THE WATER IN THIS HERE FISH TANK...

AND YOU ACCIDENTALLY
FILL IT WITH GASOLINE, LIKE SO.

LATER THAT NIGHT
THE JANITOR COMES IN,

THERE'S A POWER OUTAGE, HE
LIGHTS HIMSELF A MATCH AND...

BOOM! HE'S COOKING FISH STICKS!

NOW HERE'S ANOTHER ALL-TOO-COMMON
DANGER IN THE CLASSROOM...

THE MOVIE PROJECTOR.

SURE LOOKS LIKE FUN,

BUT IT CAN BE VERY, VERY DEADLY.

NOW, LET'S JUST SAY YOU'RE THE
AUDIO-VISUAL HELPER FOR THE DAY.

YOU GO TO PLUG THIS BABY
IN AND YOU JUST HAPPEN

SOAKING YOUR BUNIONS
IN A BUCKET OF WATER.

[Yelling]

[Explosion]

OH, MY GOSH! I HOPE HE'S OKAY!

NEVER BETTER.

NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT C.P.R.

DROP AND ROLL!
YOUR HAND'S ON FIRE!

SO IT IS. WELL, THEN, DROP
AND ROLL IS A GOOD IDEA.

BUT SUPPOSE YOU GOT A
HANDFUL OF THUMBTACKS...

AND YOU ACCIDENTLY
ROLL OVER THEM LIKE SO?

[Yelling]

NOW THE FIRE IS OUT, BUT
YOU LOOK LIKE HELLRAISER.

SAY! YOU KIDS DID A
NIFTY JOB ON THIS MURAL.

SHALL WE STUDY
ITS BASIC ELEMENTS?

YOU'VE GOT PAPER
AND YOU'VE GOT PAINT.

A DEADLY COMBINATION!

LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

LET'S JUST SAY, FOR
THE SAKE OF ARGUMENT,

THAT THE EARTH IS BEING OCCUPIED BY STRANGE
CRAB-LIKE CREATURES FROM ANOTHER PLANET.

ONE OF THEM NEEDS A LIGHT. YOU WHIP
OUT YOUR ZIPPO, YOU FLICK YOUR WICK.

SOMEBODY SAYS, "LOOK!
IT'S YOKO ONO ON A MOPED!"

AND BOOM! YOU'RE
OFF TO THE RACES!

- NOW HOW DO WE PUT THIS OUT?
- UH, SMOTHER IT WITH A BLANKET?

YOU COULD DO THAT, THAT'S
FOR SURE. ANYBODY ELSE?

UM, YOU COULD ASK THE
CRAB-LIKE PEOPLE FOR ASSISTANCE?

GET REAL, BIG KID!
HOW ABOUT YOU, MISSY?

- GET A FIRE EXTINGUISHER!
- EXCELLENT, MISS TOMPKINS, BUT
LET'S GIVE THE KIDS A CHANCE.

NO! THE CLASSROOM IS
ON FIRE! KIDS, COME ON!

SO IT IS. EVERYBODY REMAIN CALM!

I AM A FIRE MARSHALL!

BY THE WAY, WHAT'S ON THE
OTHER SIDE OF THIS WALL?

[All] THE CHEMISTRY LAB!

- UH-OH!
- [Explosion]

[Sirens Blaring]

IT'S OKAY, CHILDREN. ALL THE
KIDS HAVE BEEN ACCOUNTED FOR.

OUR SCHOOL, IT'S
GONE! [Girl] YEAH.

WHEN WILL THEY EVER LEARN?

OH, WELL.

WHO WANTS MARSHMALLOWS?

YEAH! WE NEED STICKS.

STICKS? [Laughing]

NOT WHEN YOU'RE WITH FIRE
MARSHALL BILL YOU DON'T.

LET ME SHOW YOU
SOMETHING. [Whistle Blows]

THANKS FOR HANGING
OUT WITH US TONIGHT.

WE GOT... WE GOT A
SPECIAL TREAT FOR YOU.

OUR GUESTS COME ALL THE WAY FROM ATLANTA,
GEORGIA, ON THE MOTOWN RECORDING LABEL.

UH, IN THE '70s, THERE
WAS THE JACKSONS,

THEN CAME NEW EDITION,
THEN CAME THE BOYS.

SO TELL 'EM WHO WE
GOT HERE TONIGHT.

ANOTHER BAD CREATION.
ANOTHER BAD CREATION.

YO, 1991. A.B.C...
ANOTHER BAD CREATION.

KICKIN' IT ON IN LIVING COLOR.
SO STAMP IT, YOU SUCKERS!

THIS IS FOR ALL YOU LADIES.

♪ IESHA, IESHA SO
GLAD TO MEET YA ♪

♪ SEE YOU IN THE SCHOOLYARD
TALKIN' TO THE TEACHER ♪

♪ THE LITTLE SKIRT YOU
PLAYED WAS REAL FLY ♪

♪ SHE TURNED AROUND AND
SHE WINKED HER EYE SO I ♪

♪ STEPPED TO HER
LIKE I KNEW HER ♪

♪ THE BIV IS COOL
BUT ROMELL, COOLER ♪

♪ THE BELL RANG CUZ
I STARTED TO TALK ♪

♪ SHE STEPPED INTO CLASS
SO I PAGED MY WALK, YEAH ♪

YEAH! SAY YEAH!

YEAH! SOMEBODY SCREAM!

YO, RED, WHERE YOU
BEEN? IN THE PLAYGROUND.

♪ THAT'S WHERE I
SAW THIS CUTIE ♪

♪ THIS GAL WAS SWINGIN'
AND SHE LOOKED SO FLY ♪

♪ ON THE MONKEY BARS ♪

♪ WE CLIMBED UP TO THE TOP
AND SHE TOUCHED MY HAND ♪

♪ THAT'S WHEN I FELL IN LOVE ♪

COME ON! ♪ IESHA ♪

CHRIS! HEY! RO!

YO! ROMELL HAS THE
SOUND. WHAT'S HE GONNA DO?

I DON'T KNOW, DAVE. I ONLY GOT ONE
MORE RAP. I'M GONNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

♪ THREW DOWN MY BOOKS
WENT UP TO THE DOOR ♪

♪ PRESSED THE BELL
WHAT WAS IN STORE ♪

♪ IESHA CAME OUT WITH
A SMILE ♪ ♪ OH, NO ♪

♪ SHE AIN'T WORTH MY WHILE SO I
PASSED HER A LOLLIPOP AND A LETTER ♪♪