In Living Color (1990–1994): Season 1, Episode 1 - Pilot - full transcript

♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN' ♪

♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪

♪ IT'S NEVER TOO LATE
AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪

♪ TAKE IT FROM ME IT'S A'IGHT
TO BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ HOW WOULD YOU FEEL KNOWING
PREJUDICE WAS OBSOLETE ♪

♪ AND ALL MANKIND
DANCED TO THE EXACT BEAT ♪



♪ AND AT NIGHT IT WAS SAFE TO WALK
DOWN THE STREET ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ EVERYBODY HERE
IS EQUALLY KIND ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ WHAT'S MINE IS YOURS AND WHAT'S
YOURS IS MINE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ HOW WOULD YOU FEEL KNOWING
EVERYBODY WAS YOUR FRIEND ♪

♪ FROM THIN TO THICK AND
THROUGH THICK AND THIN ♪

♪ AND EGOTISTICAL TRIPS WAS PUT
TO AN END ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪



♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ YOU CAN WALK ON THE
MOON FLOAT LIKE A BALLOON ♪

♪ IT'S NEVER TOO LATE
AND IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ♪

♪ TAKE IT FROM ME
IT'S A'IGHT TO BE ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ HOW WOULD YOU FEEL KNOWING
PREJUDICE WAS OBSOLETE ♪

♪ AND ALL MANKIND
DANCED TO THE EXACT BEAT ♪

♪ AND AT NIGHT IT WAS SAFE TO WALK
DOWN THE STREET ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪

♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
KEENEN IVORY WAYANS!

THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU. AND
WELCOME TO IN LIVING COLOR.

I'M KEENEN IVORY WAYANS. WE
GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

BEFORE I GET STARTED, I'D LIKE
TO INTRODUCE A FEW FOLKS TO YOU.

MY D.J. THAT KEEPS THE
PARTY ROCKIN' ALL NIGHT LONG...

S.W. ONE, IN THE
HOUSE... GIVE IT UP!

AND, OF COURSE, YOU GOT TO
SAY HELLO TO ALL MY FLY GIRLS.

STARTING OVER HERE
WITH CARRIE ANN,

LISA, DEIDRE,

MICHELLE AND CARI.

ALL RIGHT. WE GOT A GREAT SHOW.

WE WANT YOU TO SIT BACK,
LAUGH, HAVE A GOOD TIME.

AND I'LL SEE YOU IN
A MINUTE. LET'S DO IT.

♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪

♪♪

HI. WELCOME BACK
TO LOVE CONNECTION.

TOLD YOU WE'D BE
BACK IN TWO AND TWO.

OUR NEXT GUEST SAYS SHE LIKES
HER MEN TO BE VERY WEALTHY.

LET'S SAY HELLO TO ROBIN GIVENS.

HI, ROBIN. HELLO, CHARLES.

DON'T EVER CALL ME
CHARLES. I'LL GO OFF.

SO, ROBIN, TELL US ABOUT
THIS WEALTHY THING.

WELL, CHUCK, I DON'T WANT PEOPLE
THINKING THAT I'M THE TYPE OF WOMAN...

WHO'S ONLY INTERESTED IN THE
SIZE OF A MAN'S WALLET. MM-HMM.

I MEAN, THERE ARE THINGS
THAT ARE JUST AS IMPORTANT.

- LIKE WHAT?
- WELL, LIKE WHAT'S
IN THE WALLET. AM I RIGHT?

THANK YOU.

OKAY.

ROBIN, LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE,
YOU PICKED A MAN TO GO OUT WITH.

NOW YOU'RE BACK TO TELL US HOW IT
WENT. LET'S SAY HELLO TO MIKE TYSON.

HELLO, MICHAEL.

HI, MICHAEL. HI, ROBIN.

HOW YOU DOIN', CHUCK? HI,
THERE, MIKE. HOW ARE YOU?

WELL, I GOT TO SAY I'M
REALLY ECSTATIC TO BE HERE.

ALL RIGHTY, THEN. ROBIN,
TELL US HOW THE DATE STARTED.

WELL, AT FIRST, I CALLED MICHAEL AND,
OF COURSE, THINGS DIDN'T GO VERY WELL...

BECAUSE HE'S JUST A
BOXER FROM BROOKLYN...

AND, OF COURSE, I WAS A
HARVARD MEDICAL STUDENT.

WHAT ABOUT YOU, MIKE?
WHAT DID YOU THINK OF ROBIN?

WELL, CHUCK, WHEN I FIRST
SAW ROBIN, I WAS ECSTATIC.

I MEAN, SHE HAD THIS... SHE HAD
THIS REALLY TIGHT DRESS ON...

YOU KNOW, THE KIND
WITH THE PUSH-UP BRA,

AND HER BREASTS WERE,
LIKE, POPPIN' RIGHT OUT.

LIKE HIT ME RIGHT IN
THE EYE, YOU KNOW?

AND AS SOON AS I SAW THEM, CHUCK,
I SAID, "WOW. I'M IN LOVE," YOU KNOW?

SOUNDS LIKE YOU
TWO REALLY HIT IT OFF.

SO WHERE'D YOU GO
FIRST? WELL, FIRST, CHUCK,

WE WENT TO THIS LOVELY
LITTLE JEWELRY STORE...

WHERE I ALLOWED
MICHAEL TO PURCHASE ME...

A VERY LOVELY RUBY, DIAMOND
AND SAPPHIRE COLLECTION...

AND A MATCHING CAR.

- SOUNDS NICE. DID YOU GIVE MIKE ANYTHING?
- LITHIUM.

IT MADE... IT MADE ME FEEL
REALLY ECSTATIC, CHUCK.

UH-HUH. YES, WE KNOW,
MICHAEL. WE KNOW.

SO, WHERE'D YOU GO NEXT?

WELL, THEN WE WENT TO THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL LITTLE WEDDING CHAPEL...

WHERE MY MOTHER WAS WAITING WITH A
JUSTICE OF THE PEACE, AND WE GOT MARRIED!

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

MIKE, WHAT DID YOU
THINK OF ROBIN'S MOTHER?

WELL, I GOT TO BE HONEST,
CHUCK. I WASN'T TOO ECSTATIC.

YOU KNOW, I LOOKED AT HER MOM,
THE FIRST THING I THOUGHT WAS,

"WOW. THIS LADY REALLY
NEEDS A HAIR WEAVE."

AND I'M, SORRY,
ROBIN. MICHAEL...

I'M REALLY SORRY, DARLIN',
BUT YOUR MOM'S HEAD...

HER FOREHEAD IS
JUST WAY TOO BIG...

- AND SHE JUST HAS TOO LITTLE
HAIR TO COVER IT, YOU KNOW?
- MESSY.

BUT I TELL YOU SOMETHING
THOUGH, WHAT REALLY

SEPARATES ROBIN
FROM HER MOM IS CLASS.

BECAUSE THE FRANKS WERE STILL
BOTHERING ME 'CAUSE I HAD A BOILED EGG TOO.

AND I KINDA CUT ONE
IN THE CAR, YOU KNOW?

AND HER MOM MADE
A BIG STINK OUT OF IT.

ROBIN, WE'RE ALMOST OUT OF TIME.
TELL US ABOUT THE REST OF THE DATE.

WELL, CHARLES,

AFTER THE BANK, THE
LITHIUM BEGAN TO WEAR OFF...

AND MICHAEL WENT A LITTLE
WILD. OH, COME ON, ROBIN.

WHAT HAPPENED, MIKE? OH, WELL...

WELL, CHUCK, IT
WAS REALLY SIMPLE.

IT WAS QUITE INNOCENT. I WAS IN
THE PARKING LOT PICKING UP THE CAR,

I'M WAITIN' ON ROBIN AND
HER MOM, AND I SEE THIS GIRL.

SHE HAS A REALLY NICE BUTT. SO I
WALK OVER, I GO, "HI, MY NAME IS MIKE."

AND THEN I SHOVE MY TONGUE
DOWN HER THROAT, YOU KNOW?

AND THIS GUY COMES OVER AND
GOES, "HEY, THAT'S MY MOTHER."

SO I PUNCH HIM IN HIS GUT, YOU KNOW, AND
HE STARTED MAKING LITTLE WORMY NOISES.

IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY. HE WAS, LIKE,
"OH, GOD, I'M BLEEDIN' INTERNALLY."

IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY, YOU KNOW? IT
REMINDED ME OF THE BONECRUSHER SMITH FIGHT,

WHERE I HIT HIM IN HIS
THIRD RIB AND THEN TRIED

TO PUSH HIS NOSE UP
INTO HIS BRAIN, YOU KNOW?

- AND I CAME OVER WITH...
- WHOA! WHOA!

I HIT HIM AND HE WENT DOWN.
WHOA! WHOA! DING! DING!

DING!

WOW, THAT WAS QUITE A DATE.

LET'S SEE WHO OUR
AUDIENCE PICKED FOR YOU.

WAS IT MIKE?

JOHN KENNEDY JR.?

OR DONALD TRUMP?

THEY PICKED MIKE BY 41%.

SO IF YOU TWO WOULD
LIKE TO GO OUT AGAIN,

ULTIMATELY, MIKE
WILL PAY FOR IT.

WELL, THERE IS A LOVELY LITTLE
FUR SALON I'D LIKE TO GO TO.

MICHAEL, I WOULDN'T MIND.

WHAT ABOUT YOU, MICHAEL?

ALL RIGHT. I GUESS
IT'S ALL RIGHT, ROBIN.

WELL, BE SURE TO COME
BACK AND TELL US ABOUT IT.

HEY, MIKE, MAYBE I'LL SEE YOU ON
SCRABBLE SOMETIME. YEAH, RIGHT.

HEY, "ECSTATIC." E-X-K-I-T.

ALL RIGHT? ARE YOU
GONNA TELL HIM HE'S WRONG?

WELL, THAT'S IT, FOLKS.
I'M CHUCK WOOLERY.

UNTIL NEXT TIME, MAY ALL YOUR
DATES BE A MATTER OF PUBLIC RECORD.

♪♪

ON JULY 20, 1969, APOLLO
ASTRONAUTS NEIL ARMSTRONG,

BUZZ ALDRIN, MICHAEL COLLINS AND
SLICK JOHNSON ORBITED THE MOON.

COLLINS REMAINED IN
THE COMMAND MODULE...

AND ARMSTRONG,
ALDRIN AND JOHNSON...

LANDED THE SMALL LUNAR
MODULE ON THE MOON'S SURFACE.

WHILE THE MEN WERE
EXPLORING THE AREA,

ARMSTRONG RECEIVED WORD
FROM MISSION CONTROL...

THAT A SYSTEM MALFUNCTION HAD
LEFT THEM WITH ONLY ENOUGH FUEL...

TO TAKE THREE OF THE FOUR
PIONEERS SAFELY BACK TO EARTH.

AFTER CONFERRING
WITH COLLINS AND ALDRIN,

ARMSTRONG SENT JOHNSON OUT TO
FIND A NICE SPOT TO PLAY VOLLEYBALL.

MINUTES LATER, THE LANDING MODULE
TOOK OFF, LEAVING SLICK BEHIND.

HEY, COME ON, Y'ALL!
STOP PLAYIN', MAN!

HEY, YO, THAT'S NOT FUNNY! THAT'S
NOT FUNNY, MAN! COME BACK HERE!

THE MISSION WAS AN
OTHERWISE PERFECT SUCCESS.

AND AN EMBARRASSED NASA
DELETED ALL REFERENCES

TO JOHNSON FROM ITS
OFFICIAL LITERATURE.

TONIGHT, WE SALUTE
SLICK JOHNSON,

THE FIRST BLACK MAN ON THE MOON.

I'M TOMMY DAVIDSON WITH ANOTHER
GREAT MOMENT IN BLACK HISTORY.

YO, YO, YO, ALL YOU BAD
BARGAIN HUNTERS OUT THERE!

WELCOME TO THE HOMEBOY
SHOPPING NETWORK.

YO! WE'RE THE
HOST WITH THE MOST.

I'M WHIZ, THIS IS
THE ICEMAN. CHILLIN'.

LET'S SHOW 'EM WHAT WE GOT.

LOOK AT ALL THIS STUFF, MAN.
IT'S LIKE A WAREHOUSE SALE.

LOOK AT ALL THIS STUFF. WHAT HAVE
WE GOT? LET'S SHOW 'EM THE FIRST ITEM.

ALL RIGHT, WE GOT THIS.
FOR YOUR AUTOMOTIVE NEEDS.

WE GOT CAR PHONES, WE GOT
CAR STEREOS, WE GOT CAR ALARMS.

AND IF YOU ACT NOW, WE
COULD PROBABLY GET THE CAR.

PROBABLY.

YO, GIVE 'EM THE
NUMBER. ALL RIGHT.

UH, YEAH.

OPERATORS ARE STANDIN' BY.

YO, OUR NEXT ITEM UP FOR SALE...

JEWELRY, JEWELRY, JEWELRY! LOOK
AT ALL THIS STUFF! LOOK AT ALL THIS!

LOVELY ASSORTMENT
OF GOLD CHAINS.

SOME OF THEM HAVE BEEN
BROKEN IN TRANSIT, THOUGH.

OH, A LOVELY DIAMOND CLUSTERED
RING. OH, WOW, LOOK AT THIS ONE.

OH, MAN. YOU GONNA KEEP IT?

YEAH.

I'M SORRY, CUSTOMERS. THAT
WAS MERELY A DISPLAY ITEM.

WE GOT CALLERS ALREADY. DAMN!

HELLO. WELCOME TO THE
HOMEBOY SHOPPING NETWORK.

THAT'S MY WIFE'S RING!

IF I EVER GET MY HANDS ON YOU,
YOU SLEAZY, SLIMY, SON OF A...

ANOTHER SATISFIED CUSTOMER.

YO, CHECK THESE OUT. THIS
IS SOMETHING REALLY SPECIAL.

NOW... NOW THESE ARE SOME... THESE ARE
THE TOP-OF-THE-LINE STUFF, MAN, YOU KNOW?

THESE ARE SOME OF THE FINER TVs YOU
MIGHT FIND AT SOME OF THE BETTER HOTELS.

MATTER OF FACT, THESE ARE THE SAME
TVs YOU FIND IN THE BETTER HOTELS.

YEAH. YO, CHECK IT OUT.

THEY'RE A LITTLE WOBBLY, RIGHT? THEY'RE
A LITTLE BIT WOBBLY. BUT CHECK THIS OUT.

IF YOU ACT NOW, WE'LL THROW
IN THESE FREE GIDEON BIBLES...

YOU JUST THROW 'EM ALL THE WAY
UNDERNEATH LIKE THAT. CHECK IT OUT.

STRAIGHT!

OH, YEAH, NOW FOR YOU
CABLE BUFFS OUT THERE,

MAN, WE GOT SOMETHING
SPECIAL FOR YOU.

CHECK THIS OUT. CHECK THIS OUT.

NOW...

YO, NOT ONLY WILL YOU GET, LIKE,

ALL THE CABLE
STATIONS OUT THERE...

BUT YOU'LL BE ABLE TO TALK
DIRECTLY TO THE ASTRONAUTS.

AIN'T THAT LOVELY? SHOW 'EM THE
OTHER STUFF. SHOW 'EM THE OTHER STUFF.

NOW THIS... THIS IS
SOMETHIN' SPECIAL.

YOU TALK ABOUT AT-HOME BANKIN'.

YO, YO, YO.

ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS HOOK
THIS BAD BOY UP IN YOUR HOUSE,

AND WHAT YOU GOT? YOU THROW
THE CARD IN THERE... BOOM...

OR SOMEBODY ELSE'S
CARD... BOOM... LIKE THAT,

MO' MONEY, MO' MONEY, MO' MONEY.

UH-OH! DO I HEAR A
BLUELIGHT SPECIAL? I THINK SO.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
THAT'S RIGHT. WE'RE MOVIN' LOCATIONS.

SO, JOIN US NEXT WEEK ON THE
HOMEBOY SHOPPING NETWORK.

SAME TIME... DIFFERENT CORNER.

PEACE!

♪♪

♪♪

HI. THIS IS REDD FOXX
WITH YOUR 1990 TAX TIPS.

TIP NUMBER ONE... PAY 'EM.

TIP NUMBER TWO... IF THE I.R.S.
MAN SHOW UP TO YOUR HOUSE,

LIE... ABOUT EVERYTHING,
ESPECIALLY WHO YOU IS.

GET BACK TO WORK, YOU
CRUSTY OLD HEATHEN.

OH, LORD! I THOUGHT
I FLUSHED MY TOILET.

I'M THE ONE WHO SAVE
YOU FROM THE I.R.S.

YOU BELONG TO ME NOW.

AND WHEN YOU FINISH
CLEANIN' UP AND DUSTIN' IN HERE,

I WANT YOU TO COME IN THE
ROOM, MASSAGE MY FEET...

AND POP THE PIMPLES ON MY BACK!

OH, LORD! THERE'S GOT
TO BE A BETTER WAY.

SOMEBODY HELP ME!
EDDIE! RICHARD! LAMONT!

SOMEBODY TELL MICHAEL
JACKSON TO COME GET BUBBLES.

COME HERE, YOU OLD GEEZER.

YOU MY LOVE SLAVE NOW.

IF YOUR BREASTS DROP ANY
LOWER, THEY'RE GONNA BE KNEES.

YOU GOT THE DEVIL IN YOU!

OH, LORD, SOMEBODY HELP
ME. I'D GIVE YOU FIVE OF THESE,

BUT I DON'T WANT TO GET NONE
OF THAT DOG SPIT ON MY HANDS.

YOU GONNA MAKE LOVE
TO ME IF IT KILLS YOU, FRED.

IT WILL! ELIZABETH, I'M
COMIN' TO JOIN YOU, HONEY,

WITH A HALF A BOTTLE OF
RIPPLE AND AN OLD TOOTHBRUSH.

SAVE ME! SOMEBODY, HELP ME!

I WAS BUYING A SHIRT AT THIS
CLOTHING STORE AND I WAS OUT OF CASH.

SO I GAVE THE SALESMAN MY
EQUITY EXPRESS GOLD CARD.

I GOT A CALL FROM
THE STORE MANAGER.

HE SAID HE WAS SUSPICIOUS OF A CUSTOMER
TRYING TO USE AN EQUITY EXPRESS CARD.

FROM THE MANAGER'S
DESCRIPTION OF THE MAN,

IT WAS CLEAR HE WASN'T
THE RIGHT SORT TO BE

CARRYING A GOLD CARD,
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

SO I RAN A CHECK ON HIS CREDIT.

I KNEW MY CREDIT WAS GOOD,
'CAUSE I JUST PAID MY BILL.

BUT THE MANAGER ASKED TO SEE
MY DRIVER'S LICENSE, I GAVE HIM THAT.

MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE,
NO PROBLEM.

MOTHER'S MAIDEN
NAME, I HAD THAT TOO.

YOU SEE, THIS HAD
HAPPENED BEFORE.

HE ANSWERED ALL OF
OUR QUESTIONS EASILY.

THERE WAS NO DOUBT
THAT IT WAS HIS CARD.

BUT I WASN'T GIVING UP SO FAST.

I ASKED TO SPEAK TO
THE CUSTOMER DIRECTLY.

THEN THE LADY ASKED ME WHO WON THE BOB
HOPE INVITATIONAL GOLF TOURNAMENT IN 1978.

I SAID, "KISS MY BUTT, BITCH."

APPROVE MY CREDIT.

I HAD HIM.

USE OF OBSCENITY OVER INTERSTATE
PHONE LINES IS A FEDERAL OFFENSE.

SO I ASKED THE STORE MANAGER TO
STALL HIM WHILE I CALLED THE POLICE.

SO THEY TOLD ME
EVERYTHING WAS COOL...

AND THEY STARTED TREATING
ME REAL NICE, A LITTLE TOO NICE.

THEY GIFT WRAPPED MY
SHIRT, THEY SERVED ME

HORS D'OEUVRES AND
STARTED DOING MAGIC TRICKS.

THEN IT GOT A LITTLE
LATE, SO I GOT UP TO LEAVE.

LUCKILY, THE COPS
GOT THERE IN TIME.

SURE HE SUED US AND WON,

BUT IT WAS STILL FUN TO DO AND
THE STORE MANAGER WAS GRATEFUL.

YOU SEE, HELPING PEOPLE
IS WHAT WE'RE ALL ABOUT.

EQUITY EXPRESS, DON'T
LEAVE YOUR CRIB WITHOUT IT,

OR YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE
OR YOUR BIRTH CERTIFICATE,

OR YOUR HIGH SCHOOL
DIPLOMA, OR YOUR BLOOD TYPE,

OR YOUR PASSPORT, OR YOUR DENTAL
RECORDS, OR YOUR FINGERPRINTS,

OR A NOTARIZED LETTER
FROM THE PRESIDENT.

♪♪

♪♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪

AND NOW, PUBLIC ACCESS
PRESENTS MEN ON FILMS.

♪ IT'S RAININ' MEN AMEN ♪♪

HELLO. I'M BLAYNE EDWARDS.
AND I'M ANTOINE MERRIWETHER.

AND WELCOME TO MEN ON FILMS.

WE'RE GONNA BE
REVIEWING THE LATEST FILMS.

FROM A MALE POINT OF VIEW.

FIRST UP, IS THAT CONTROVERSIAL
MOVIE... DO THE RIGHT THING.

NOW I LIKE LITTLE SPIKE LEE'S
COURAGE IN MAKING THIS FILM.

I ESPECIALLY LIKED THE WAY HE MIXED
THE RACIAL TENSION WITH THE VIOLENCE...

IN ORDER TO GIVE HIS
MESSAGE: DO THE RIGHT THING.

COME ON OUT OF THE CLOSET.
DON'T BE AFRAID TO BE WHO YOU IS...

BLACK, WHITE OR
WHATEVER. MM-HMM.

AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH, RUTH.

NOW I'D LIKE TO TALK ABOUT AN EXCITING
NEW FILM... KARATE KID, PART THREE.

IT'S ALL ABOUT MEN WORKING OUT
THEIR PROBLEMS IN A VERY PHYSICAL WAY.

IT WAS ALL SO PRIMITIVE. MM-HMM.

AND I REALLY ENJOYED MR. MIYAGI,
PLAYED BY LITTLE PAT MORITA.

OOH, AND THAT RALPH MACCHIO,
THREE WORDS... FAB-U-LOUS.

BOY, I HOPE I LOOK THAT
GOOD WHEN I'M 40. STOP.

BUT I HAVE TO
DISAGREE. I DISAGREE.

THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH
VIOLENCE IN THIS MOVIE.

DON'T GET MAD.

STOP.

YOU BETTER GIVE
ME BACK MY SCARF.

DON'T HATE ME
'CAUSE I'M BEAUTIFUL.

THEY WENT ALL WRONG.
WHAT'S ALL THIS KICKIN' ABOUT?

THIS IS A MOVIE
ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS.

THIS COULD HAVE BEEN A BEAUTIFUL
PICTURE ABOUT THE SPECIAL FRIENDSHIP...

BETWEEN A MATURE,
MASCULINE, OLDER MAN...

AND A TENDER, RIPENING,
CONSENTING YOUNG MAN.

SEE, I THINK AMERICA'S
READY FOR THAT.

YOU KNOW I KNOW I AM.

I BET YOU IS.

NOW I'D LIKE TO TALK ABOUT A FILM
I'VE BEEN ANXIOUSLY AWAITIN' TO SEE...

GREAT BALLS OF FIRE.

I AIN'T GONNA TOUCH IT.

BUT THE TITLE ALONE
GETS TWO SNAPS UP.

TELL IT.

WHY DON'T YOU STOP. YES.

NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT SOME FILMS
THAT ARE SOON TO COME OUT ON VIDEO.

FIRST UP IS BLACK WIDOW, STARRING
THERESA RUSSELL AND DEBRA WINGER.

HATED IT.

ALSO COMING OUT
IS MISS FIRECRACKER.

IS THAT GENE ANTHONY
RAY'S NEW MOVIE?

HOLLY HUNTER.

HATED IT.

AND WE FINALLY HAVE
DANGEROUS LIAISONS,

STARRING JOHN MALKOVICH
AND GLENN CLOSE.

YOU KNOW, JOHN MALKOVICH IS
LIKE EVERY MOVIEGOER'S FANTASY.

I FOUND MYSELF JUST ALONE AT
NIGHT JUST THINKIN' ABOUT HIS...

INTENSITY. YES.

WHAT'D YOU THINK OF
GLENN CLOSE? OH, I LOVED HIM.

AND I REALLY HAVE TO ADMIRE THE PRODUCERS
FOR DARING TO CAST A MAN IN THAT ROLE.

I MEAN, THAT REALLY
MADE THE PICTURE FOR ME.

HELLO! GLENN CLOSE IS A WOMAN.

CLUTCH THE PEARLS!
WHAT A SNEAKY THING TO DO!

WHY YOU ALWAYS
SAYIN' STUFF LIKE THAT?

WELL, LOOKS LIKE WE
ALMOST OUT OF TIME.

WOULD YOU JOIN US NEXT WEEK WHEN WE
TALK ABOUT MEL GIBSON'S LETHAL WEAPON?

- I HOPE IT'S LOADED.
- YOU CRAZY.

♪ IT'S RAININ' MEN ♪

♪ HALLELUJAH IT'S
RAININ' MEN, AMEN ♪♪

THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT. ON BEHALF
OF THE CAST AND MYSELF,

I WANT TO THANK YOU ALL
FOR JOINING US TONIGHT.

WE'LL SEE YOU
NEXT WEEK. BYE-BYE.

♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO ♪

♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪♪